Announcer: Epic Rap Battles of Quickelodeon! Cruz Vs Captain EO! Begin!
Captain EO's verse:
The father of newgrounds is bound
To ground this unpunny flashhack
Who thinks he can step to Jackson
Guess he hasn’t seen my clapback
EO chooses Gas Raps to combat
Cruz not-so-Swift sadness
Even your OG design adds up
To complete Madness
I mean you’re messing with the best
Mercenary since Scooby Doo
My songs are a blast, when I break a dance
No one can say the same about you
So riddle me this, if you can
We know your’re not the brightest
star in the night
How can you claim to have power
When youre put to shame by another knight?
Who’s got a 96% rating on Disney? Me!
Who’s game birthed a dev team and
Whole company from a meme?
But then who’s schtick got old fast
With each recurring scheme?
Cause it’s not me who’s saving kingdoms
Just to make royalties Geez!
Cruz verse:
A whole decade for your first words?
I must say i’m thrilled
In this scrap, you’re getting capped
Regardless of the gimmicks you instill
Just a bully taking dolars
But got no digits on the weight scale
So come at me Jackson
This loss’ll be your 348th fail!
Spitting colder than Zack
-er hotter than Zack
A twig’ll get snapped when im on the attack
But if I tried to sit through your whack class
Id end up falling asleep on the track
the Captain’s just a Ghost Inmate
So there’s no need to keep my guard up
Hard to Escape dungeons when you’ve been
Surrounded by my bars, huh?
I’ll be the one in shining armor
While you’re lacking common cents
And after all your countless antics
I’d think you’d grasp some common sense
With all those MTV tie-ins
You constantly seem to harp
For one who prides himself on the future
That wasn’t very… Armstromg
Once I crack the case of this Black brodway skywalker
Then he’ll truly see that
When it comes to being a junior knight in training
I always have the key!
You’re no Magic Space Hero
You ditched from the city to pinch more cash
Just a space captain with pointless deeds
I’ve got this in the bag! (Ha!)
Captain EO's verse:
I toppled the Toppats, Goverbment, Wall
You know I pack the sleek flow too
Your whole deal is. “bargain bin
the kingdom with a dash of bejewled School
But if you really wanna compare us
I’ll strike this Knight over easy
My countless achievements to
Your minor victories?
Hmmmm, lets see
Small startup gains some traction
Gauging Belladonna’s attraction
Yet you couldn’t hold a fraction
To the sweet world that im changing
Evil, Darkness, Villans, Bonfire
I’ve beat them all, and then-
What did you do, that’s new?
Oh yeah! become a knight… again…
Evil Planets? I change them
female friends? You need em
I’m with my crew and changing worlds
You use a fake sword for your freedom!
No matter what you point and slash
I top your “Bejeweled kingdom” anyday