James' Unlucky Week

James' Unlucky Week is SuperMalechi's Thomas & Friends Trackmaster Series episode.

Plot
James tries to have a good day, but everything goes terribly wrong.

Featured Characters

 * James
 * Thomas
 * Duck
 * Percy (cameo)
 * Edward
 * Donald and Douglas
 * Molly (cameo)
 * Toby (cameo)
 * Billy
 * Stanley
 * Diesel
 * James' Nephew

Day 1
James: What a beautiful day! {Edward shows up.} Edward: {quickly} Hey James! Doing pretty good! How bout you? Good! Oh, I wanted to give you this thing cause you're the best friend in the whole world, okay BYE! {Runs off.} James: That was weird. What's it say? {excitedly} Oh-ho-ho-ho! You must be joking! "Kiss me, I'm Japanese"? Well you know what that means ladies that's not my wife, time for someone to kiss James! Come on, who's it going to be, huh? Kiss the express engine! Could be anyone, but... {horrified} A old lady- AAUUUUUGGHHHH!!!! ''{Cut to a Technical Difficulties: Please Stand By, with Mario looking drunk, holding a bottle of soda and a camera in front of him. The music is Baka Survivor. After 12 seconds, we cut to Edward, reading a story to Donald and Douglas.}'' Henry: And so, Wario and Waluigi, went straight to jail for bullying anyone in Free Country USA, and were never seen from again! Donald & Douglas: {cheering} Yay! Edward: Yeah...! James: EDWARD!!!!!! {He rushes in front of a very shocked Edward, covered in kiss marks, and looks very cross}. Edward: Aaaah! What happened to you, James?! Gordon: Edward! I got kissed by an old lady! Douglas: {to James} Was th-that your d-d-dark side Gordon?

Day 2
James: What a beautiful day! I hope it wouldn't go bad again. (Duck shows up)

Duck: Hi, James. I can to see you for a while.

James: Duck! I knew that I never liked tank engines like you! I am going to fight with you!

Duck: I wanted to see you.

James: Never play with me! Only my friends, Gordon, Henry, Neville and Edward can play with me!

Duck: (chuckles) See ya later. (leaves)

James: Ughh, tank engines always get into my nerves.

Thomas: Hello, James. I am here to shunt frieght cars

James: Thomas, you are not supposed to play with me!

Thomas: See ya later, James. (leaves)

James: (sees a giant cat) Oh, wow! A big giant cat. Hey, come to me. Come- (the giant cat starts to lick on James' red paint) Aahh! Don't lick on me! Don't lick on me! Aahh!

Day 3
James: What a beautiful day! {A large pigeon lands on him.} Woah-ho! {chuckles} Man, you're a fat pigeon! And I thought I had size issues. Now you're the fatty this time! Hey, fatty-fatty-fatty-fatty! Heeey, fatty-fatty-fatty! {giggles} You're such a big, fat, fatty-fat- Pigeon: {straining noises} James: Er, you're not doing what I think you're doing? {pause} Uh-ohh... {The pigeon drops on James, cut to a full view of the planet Earth, James screams at the top of his lungs.}

Day 4
James: What a beautiful day! {record scratch} Huh?! What's all this? ''{Cut to the Mario cast with phones on their heads. Cut back to James. He stutters and holds his ears.}'' James: Oh, no! My boiler's gonna explode! {Thomas, Percy and Stanley start to get impatient and yell at Gordon.} Thomas, Duck, Stanley: {shouting} ANSWER IT!!!!! James: {freaking out} Aaah! I'm outta here! ''{He runs of to the Transfer Yards. Diesel hands James a phone.}'' Diesel: Here. Call for you, sir. {James does.} Voice on Phone: {sounding like an old man} Hello?? This a call for my favorite red engine! Hello? James-love? James: {yells angrily, punches Diesel who yells in pain, and the Mario cast runs away.} Mario and Gang: Falling diesel engine at 12:00! Thomas: {yelling to them} WAIT! He didn't mean you, guys! {Cut back to Gordon.} James: Man... That was more painful than that visit from my nephew. {Flashback: James is feeling angry as an engine that looks like Bill or Ben with no name is next to him.} James' Nephew: Hey, Uncle James, where do babies come from? James: {now had enough} For the last time, ''you buy them in a store! Just like everything else! {Cut back to present day.} {relieved}'' Well, I think that ringing in my ears is gone. ''{He looks up, a phone is on his head, ringing. He gets very, very angry and throws it off his head.} '''THAT'S IT!!! WHO PUT THE PHONE ON MY HEAD, AND I WANNA KNOW WHY!!!!!' Thomas: Er, not me! My phone's forwarded to another head! Duck: Not me! My speed number dial's unlisted! Stanley: Yeah! There's no idea I did it! {A cellphone is on his head.} Aw, nuts! Why me?! James: {biffing Stanley} IT WAS YOU!!! Stanley: HOW DID HE KNOW?!!? James: What is the meaning of this?! Is it like, "Going Nuts with Phones Day"? Duck: Um, if Thomas and I said yes, would it make the situation less awkward? James: What? I don't know- {Diesel lands on him} OWWWW!!!! Diesel: Er, s-sorry, James. James: {muffled} Diesel... get... off me... now...

Day 5
James: What a beautiful day! {Looks in shock.} Huh?! {We cut to what Gordon encountered in the last four days: Blossom Z, the giant cat, the fat pigeon, and phone-obsessed morons.} James: Aw, fiddlesticks! Not again! ''{Blossom Z starts kissing up all over Gordon. After 15 seconds...}'' Gordon: Ugh!! That's disgusting! {The pigeon and his friends drop all over him.} Oh, no! Not pigeon poop again! {The phone guys ring phones all over him.} GrrrRRRRrrrrrrRRRRRRrrrrrRRRRR! {He punches them out of the way, the phones fly off.} If one more thing happens-! {The cat licks James' red paint as James screams.} I guess I spoke too soon... {Stanley and Billy arrive alongside James.} Stanley: What do you suppose this is? Billy: It looks like that James had some really bad luck! {The two puff away leaving James in slight fury.}

Day 6
James: I don't get it! Every time I say "What a beautiful day it is", something bad happens to me. {Gasp} Wait a minute, {smiles} maybe if I say the opposite, maybe nothing bad will happen! Yeaaah! I'm gonna give it a try... {Changes his mood into a scrooge.} What a terrible, horrible, no-good, really bad day! ''{He winks to himself. He hears footsteps in the distance. James screams loudly, when fade to white as hippos run over him.}'' Eeeeee! Ow! Ouch! Ow! Oh! Auugghh! ''{Beeping noise. Pan to James, now on his side, and covered in mud.}'' Ohhh, please be mud...

LATER THAT EVENING...

{We zoom in slowly to James, feeling sorry for himself, and in tears.} James: {sadly} Oh, no! Everything went terribly wrong! Now I know how Mr. Grumpy feels... Duck: What's wrong, James? James: Ohh, Duck, all I wanted was to have I good day, but they've been ruined by Blossom Z's kisses, a giant cat, bird rubbish, a bunch of phone obsessed morons, a mix of them, and I just got run over by a stamping of hippos! Duck: I'm lucky this story didn't focus on me! See ya tommarow, James. James: Maybe a rest will clear me from this frustration. ''{He reverses into the shed, and falls miserably to sleep. Thomas emerges from the shed next to James.}'' Thomas: Jeez, what a sad way to end an episode. {The end credits start rolling.} What?! The end credits?! It's not over yet! Go back down, go back down! Wait! We can still have a day seven! Give me a part! Come on! Seriously, I'm the number one engine! James: {from the shed} Oh, forget it, Thomas! {The end credits continue.}