The Secret Life of Pets (2016)/Mulan 2/Transcript

Cast
Gidget as Mulan

Max as Shang

Mel as Yao

Chloe as Ling

Duke as Chien Po

Snowball as Mushu

Norman as Cri-Kee

Buddy as Emperor

Katie as Su

Vitaly (Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted) as Lord Chin

Disgust (Inside Out) as Ting Ting

Sam Sparks (Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2) as Mei

[ CHINESE MUSIC PLAYS ]
 * Head ancestor: OH, SAVIOR OF CHINA...

YOU HAVE ENNOBLED THE HOUSE OF FA.

IN GRATITUDE, WE HONOR YOU.

ALL VENERATION TO YOU, O MIGHTY...
 * Mushu: SAY IT. SAY MY NAME.

MUSHU.

NOW, THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKIN' 'BOUT.

HEY, HOW YOU DOIN' UP THERE, MAN?

THANKS FOR THE INTRO.

[ GROWLS ]

[ BELL RINGING ]

AND NOW I THINK I'D LIKE TO VISIT MY BELOVED PEDESTAL.

[ UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS ]

[ SIGHS ] LET'S GET IT OVER WITH.

[ ALL GROANING, GRUMBLING ]

CEREMONIAL ROBE OF HONOR.

OOH, IF MULAN COULD SEE ME NOW.

[ LAUGHS ]

[ SIGHS ] MULAN SAVES CHINA ONE TIME,

AND NOW HE THINKS HE'S THE EMPEROR.

I'M CLIMBING A STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN.

WHOO! TOP FLOOR!

PEDESTALS, PERKS, AND PROPS!

CEREMONIAL BATH OF HONOR.

UGH!

OHH!

OOH, YEAH!

Y'ALL BETTER TAKE A DEEP BREATH, NOW,

'CAUSE I AIN'T LEAVING MY PEDESTAL

FOR THE NEXT THOUSAND YEARS.

[ ALL GROANING ]

LET THE WHIRLPOOL BEGIN.

OH, YEAH.

[ GONG CRASHES ]

[ CHINESE MUSIC PLAYS ]

[ HUMMING ] ACCORDING TO THIS CHART, I PUT THE COINS HERE.

RELAX, CHILD.

THE SPIRITS TELL ME SHANG WILL ARRIVE AND PROPOSE TO MULAN BEFORE THE SUN SETS.

THERE'S STILL TIME TO GET IN ON THE POOL.

[ GULPS LOUDLY ]

MOTHER...

GAMBLING IS LIKE PLAYING MAH-JONGG WITH BLANK TILES.

NO ONE REALLY WINS.

I'M ENRICHED BY YOUR PRESENCE, MY SON.

HMM? I...THINK I'LL GO PRAY.

[ KNOCK ON DOOR ] HELLO, SHA-RON. IS FA MULAN HERE? WHY, SHE'S OUT IN THE FIELD.

[ Laughing ] YEAH, DOING HER CHORES.

OH...

I'LL GO HELP HER! UH, THANK YOU.

[ SIGHS ] THE CHILDREN ALL LOVE MULAN.

AND WHY NOT? SHE'S STRONG, SHE'S BRAVE, SHE'S BEAUTIFUL.

[ LAUGHS ] SHE'S A CHIP OFF THE OLD BLOCK.

[ GRUNTING ] HYAH! [ SQUEAKING ] Girls: HYAH! W-WHOA! HIYA.

[ BARKING ] IT'S OKAY, LITTLE BROTHER.

WHAT'S GOING ON HERE? WE WANT TO BE LIKE YOU, FA MULAN.

HYAH! HYAH! HYAH! UNH! [ LAUGHTER ] BUT I'M STILL LEARNING MYSELF.

PLEASE? [ ALL TALKING AT ONCE ] OKAY, I GUESS I CAN SHOW YOU A FEW MOVES.

MULAN'S GONNA TEACH US HOW TO KICK BUTT.

[ CHEERING ] [ LAUGHING ] HOLD IT. CALM DOWN.

THAT'S LESSON NUMBER TWO.

THE FIRST AND MOST IMPORTANT LESSON IS TO BE GENTLE AT THE SAME TIME WE'RE BEING TOUGH.

HOW CAN YOU BE TOUGH AND GENTLE? YEAH! I WANT TO BE TOUGH! YEAH! YEAH! YEAH! YEAH! I KNOW IT DOES SOUND A LITTLE FUNNY, HUH? BUT THE WORLD IS FULL OF OPPOSITES, AND SO ARE YOU.

TO BE A GOOD WARRIOR, YOU MUST BRING IT ALL INTO BALANCE.

HMM, LET'S SEE IF THIS HELPS.

EARTH, SKY, DAY, NIGHT.

SOUND AND SILENCE, DARK AND LIGHT.

[ GIGGLES ] ♪ ONE ALONE IS NOT ENOUGH ♪ ♪ YOU NEED BOTH TOGETHER ♪ ♪ WINTER, SUMMER, MOON, AND SUN ♪ ♪ LESSON NUMBER ONE ♪ Girls: WOW! ♪ LIKE A ROCK, HUH, HUH ♪ ♪ YOU MUST BE HARD, HUH, HUH ♪ ♪ LIKE AN OAK, MMH ♪ ♪ YOU MUST STAND FIRM, HUH, HUH ♪ ♪ CUT QUICK ♪ ♪ LIKE MY BLADE ♪ ♪ THINK FAST, HUH, HUH ♪ ♪ UNAFRAID ♪ [ SQUEAKS ] ♪ LIKE A ROCK, HUH, HUH ♪ ♪ I MUST BE HARD, HUH, HUH ♪ ♪ LIKE AN OAK, MMH ♪ ♪ I MUST STAND FIRM, HUH, HUH ♪ ♪ CUT QUICK ♪ ♪ LIKE MY BLADE ♪ ♪ THINK FAST, HUH, HUH ♪ ♪ UNAFRAID ♪ OKAY, MULAN, I'M READY.

UH-HUH. BUT YOU'RE STILL OUT OF BALANCE.

YOU'RE ONLY HALFWAY THERE.

♪ LIKE A CLOUD ♪ ♪ YOU ARE SOFT ♪ ♪ LIKE BAMBOO ♪ ♪ YOU BEND IN THE WIND ♪ ♪ CREEPING SLOW, YOU'RE AT PEACE ♪ ♪ BECAUSE YOU KNOW ♪ ♪ IT'S OKAY TO BE AFRAID ♪ ♪ LIKE A CLOUD ♪ ♪ I AM SOFT ♪ ♪ LIKE BAMBOO ♪ ♪ I BEND IN THE WIND ♪ ♪ CREEPING SLOW, I'M AT PEACE ♪ ♪ BECAUSE I KNOW ♪ ♪ IT'S OKAY TO BE AFRAID ♪ [ BARKING ] ♪ ONE ALONE IS NOT ENOUGH ♪ ♪ ONE ALONE IS NOT ENOUGH ♪ ♪ YOU NEED BOTH TOGETHER ♪ ♪ YOU NEED BOTH TOGETHER ♪ ♪ WINTER, SUMMER, MOON, AND SUN ♪ ♪ WINTER, SUMMER, MOON, AND SUN ♪ ♪ LESSON NUMBER ONE ♪ ♪ LIKE A ROCK ♪ ♪ LIK E ♪ I MUST BE HARD ♪ ♪ LIKE AN OAK ♪ ♪ LIKE AN OAK ♪ ♪ I MUST STAND FIRM ♪ ♪ YOU CAN FLY ♪ ♪ ♪ IT'S OKAY TO BE AFRAID ♪ ♪ ♪ I'M NOT AFRAID ♪ ♪ YOU HAVE BEGUN ♪ ♪ ♪ LESSON NUMBER ONE, L LESSON NUMBER ONE ♪ ♪ LESSON NUMBER ONE ♪ [ NEIGHS ] [ GASPS ] IT'S GENERAL SHANG! GENERAL SHANG! GENERAL SHANG! GENERAL SHANG! [ GIRLS LAUGHING ] [ SHOUTING HAPPILY ] [ CHUCKLES ] HELLO, LITTLE WARRIORS.

THE NEW UNIFORM SUITS YOU, GENERAL.

Cast
Chloe as Mulan

Duke as Shang

Max as Chien Po

Gidget as Cri-Kee

Tiberius as Yao

Jaq (Cinderella) as Ling

Buddy as Emperor

Shaw (Open Season) as Lord Chin

Joy (Inside Out) as Su

Sheep (WordWorld) as Mei

Jenny (Free Birds) as Ting Ting

OH, THE UNIFORM -- YES.

[ CLEARS THROAT ] NOW I JUST HAVE TO LIVE UP TO IT.

OF COURSE YOU WILL. YOU'RE VERY BRAVE.

OH, RIGHT. BRAVE.

YES, WELL... [ CLEARS THROAT ] MULAN, I HAVEN'T KNOWN YOU FOR VERY LONG, BUT I FEEL THAT DOESN'T MATTER SO MUCH WHEN A MAN IS IN...

[ DING! DING, DING, DING! ] WHEN A MAN IS IN...gf [ GIGGLING ] IS THERE SOMEPLACE PRIVATE WE CAN TALK? WE CAN GO TO MY HOUSE.

[ GIGGLING CONTINUES ] OKAY, EVERYBODY, TIME TO BE LIKE THE RIVER AND FLOW HOME.

OH, NO! OH, NO! OH, NO! OH, NO! BYE, SHANG.

BYE, SHANG. BYE, MULAN.

COULD YOU TAKE CARE OF THIS FOR ME? [ GASPS ] [ SQUEALS, LAUGHING ] YOU KNOW, YOU'RE NEVER GONNA GET THAT BACK.

[ CHUCKLES ]

[ SCREAMS ]

[ BOTH LAUGHING ] [ LAUGHS ] OH, SHE SAID YES! [ SIGHS ] WHEN ONE'S HEART IS OVERFILLED WITH JOY, SOME MAY SPILL FROM THE EYES.

YOU CAN SAY THAT AGAIN! I WIN THE POT! [ LAUGHS ] ACTUALLY, YOU BET HE WOULD PROPOSE BEFORE SUNDOWN.

I BET HE WOULD PROPOSE BEFORE NOON.

BUT YOU DON'T GAMBLE.

BETTING AGAINST MY MOTHER IS NOT A GAMBLE.

IT'S AN INVESTMENT.

OH...

[ SOBBING ] OH, WHAT A HAPPY, HAPPY DAY! MY LITTLE BABY'S GETTING MARRIED.

SHH, MUSHU, SOMEONE WILL HEAR YOU.

I CAN'T HELP IT.

YOU KNOW DRAGONS ARE VERY EMOTIONAL.

OH, IT SEEMS LIKE JUST LAST MONTH YOU AND I WERE SAVING CHINA.

IT WAS LAST MONTH.

HOW TIME FLIES...

YOU KNOW, BABY, THIS MUST BE A MAGICAL MOMENT FOR YOU.

IT'S NOT EVERY DAY I GET ENGAGED.

NO, I MEANT TELLING ME YOU'RE ENGAGED.

[ Squeaking ] OH! AFTER ALL, YOU KNOW, I'M THE GUY THAT GAVE YOU AND PRETTY BOY THE HOOKUP.

AM I A GUARDIAN, OR AM I A GUARDIAN? OH, YOU'RE MORE THAN THAT, MUSHU.

YOU'RE MY MOST TRUSTED FRIEND.

[ Voice breaking ] OH, THAT DID IT! [ SNIFFLES ] ARE YOU CRYING AGAIN? NO, I JUST GOT SOME EXFOLIATING CREAM IN MY EYE.

OF COURSE I'M CRYING, GIRL! WHAT YOU THINK?! OH, MULAN, I'M JUST SO HAPPY FOR ME.

YOU? UH...HMM? THIS WEDDING BUSINESS IS A BIG STATUS BOOST FOR ME. WHEN THOSE ANCESTORS LOOK UP THE CAREER LADDER, ALL THEY'RE GONNA SEE IS MY BEHIND.

SO GLAD MY GETTING MARRIED IS HELPING YOU OUT, MUSHU.

ALL RIGHT, I GET YOU, MS. MISSY.

BUT YOU KNOW I'M THINKING ABOUT YOU, TOO.

IN FACT, I'M GONNA PLAN YOUR WEDDING.

FIRST I GOTTA WORK ME UP A THEME.

YOU KNOW, THEME IS EVERYTHING.

HOW ABOUT "RAINBOW OF MEMORIES"? HUH? NO, THAT'S TOO "JUNIOR PROM." I'VE GOT IT! THE THEME IS "THINK PINK." YOU KNOW, PINK IS THE NEW RED, GIRL. IT'S SIMPLE. IT SAYS IT.

NOW WATCH MY SMOKE.

Cast
Chloe as Mulan

Max as Shang

Gidget as Mushu

Buddy as Yao

Norman as Cri-Kee

Duke as Ling

Tiberius as Chien Po

Pops as Emperor

Vitaly (Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted) as Lord Chin

Sam Sparks (Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2) as Su

Barb (Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2) as Ting Ting

Joy (Inside Out) as Mei

[ LAUGHS ] CRI-KEE, TO THE FABRIC STORE! [ LAUGHS ] MULAN? SEEMS YOUR GRANDMA INVITED SOMEONE TO HELP US CELEBRATE THE ENGAGEMENT.

REALLY? WHO? CHINA.

Crowd: CONGRATULATIONS! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] ISN'T IT WONDERFUL? SORRY IT'S SORT OF SLAPDASH.

IT TOOK US BY SURPRISE, YOU KNOW.

[ BOTH CHUCKLE ] MAKE WAY FOR THE HAPPY COUPLE.

[ GONG CRASHES ] NOW, THIS IS A BATTLEFIELD.

WHAT'S OUR STRATEGY, GENERAL? DIVIDE AND CONQUER.

[ BOTH LAUGH ] ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, WIKIWIKI, DEAD PEOPLE.

WE'VE GOT WORK TO DO, SO LET'S MOVE WITH PURPOSE.

[ ANCESTORS GROANING ] I'VE GOT AN IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT TO MAKE.

HOLD ON TO YOUR ECTOPLASM, NOW.

MULAN'S GETTING MARRIED! [ ANCESTORS CHEERING ] ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, SIMMER DOWN.

I KNOW JUST HOW YOU FEEL.

BUT TIME IS A-WASTING, PEOPLE, SO LET'S MOVE, MOVE, MOVE! THE THEME IS PINK.

I WANT TO SEE PINK FLOWERS, PINK RIBBONS, PINK BOWS.

I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT SALMON. DON'T SHOW ME NO BLUSH.

I MEAN PINK AS A FRESHLY SLAPPED NEWBORN'S BEHIND.

HOW ABOUT A PINK SLIP? EXCUSE ME? DON'T NOBODY WANT TO SEE YOUR DRAWERS, PRUNEHILDA.

ACTUALLY, SHE MEANT THIS.

HEY, THIS LOOK LIKE A FOR-REAL PINK SLIP.

YOU KNOW, LIKE A "YOU'RE FIRED" PINK SLIP.

OH, IT IS.

SAY WHAT? OH! THE PINK SLIP IS FOR YOU.

IT IS WRITTEN, ONCE A WOMAN MARRIES, HER HUSBAND'S ANCESTORS TAKE OVER THE DUTY OF GUARDIANSHIP.

[ LAUGHING ] NO, NO, NO, Y-YOUR SCROLL MUST HAVE A-A TYPO.

THAT -- THAT CAN'T BE.

OH, BUT IT IS. YOU'RE OUT OF A JOB...

OUT OF A PEDESTAL...

AND OUT OF OUR HAIR... FOOL! AAH! OH, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, I AIN'T GOING OUT LIKE THIS.

IT TOOK ME 500 YEARS TO GET THIS PEDESTAL BACK, AND I AIN'T ABOUT TO GIVE IT UP.

HEAR ME, YOU LAZY LOUNGE LIZARD.

THE MOMENT FA MULAN IS MARRIED, YOU'VE GOT YOUR OLD JOB BACK. [ GULPS ] REMEMBER GONG DUTY? PERHAPS THIS WILL RING A BELL.

[ AIR WHISTLES, CRASH ] [ LAUGHTER ] Ancestors: MUSHU'S ON HIS WAY OUT! MUSHU'S ON HIS WAY OUT! MUSHU'S ON HIS WAY OUT! MUSHU'S ON HIS WAY OUT! MUSHU'S ON HIS WAY OUT! [ SIGHS ] MUSHU'S ON HIS WAY OUT! WHAT AM I GONNA DO? MUSHU'S ON HIS WAY OUT! MUSHU'S ON HIS WAY OUT! [ Fading ] MUSHU'S ON HIS WAY OUT! [ LAUGHS ] SO, TELL ME, WILL IT BE A BIG WEDDING? ABSOLUTELY.

OH, NO, ABSOLUTELY NOT.

CHILDREN? AS MANY AS POSSIBLE.

OH, MAYBE ONE OR TWO.

WE'LL HAVE TO THINK ABOUT IT. RIGHT AWAY. BLUE.

PINK. MILD.

SPICY. YES.

NO! OH, DEAR, DID YOU HEAR THAT? NOT EXACTLY A HARMONIOUS COUPLE, ARE THEY? WHAT SHOULD WE DO? PERHAPS WE SHOULD GIVE OUR GIFT TO THE CHILDREN NOW.

[ CRASH, HORSE NEIGHS ] [ CROWD SHOUTING ] MAMA! GENERAL SHANG, FA MULAN, ORDERS FROM HIS MAJESTY, THE EMPEROR.

IS THERE TROUBLE? YES, SIR. REPORT TO THE IMPERIAL PALACE. WE'LL LEAVE AT ONCE.

THIS MUST BE PRETTY IMPORTANT FOR THE EMPEROR TO WANT BOTH OF US.

HE KNOWS A WINNING TEAM WHEN HE SEES ONE.

[ SCOFFS ] SINCE WHEN ARE THEY THE WINNING TEAM? THE INK AIN'T EVEN DRY ON MY PINK SLIP, AND I'M BEING REPLACED.

[ SQUEAKING ANGRILY ] YEAH, I KNOW. YOU'RE RIGHT.

HOW COULD I HAVE BEEN SO SELFISH? LOOK AT THEM.

THOSE TWO CLEARLY GOT IT GOING ON.

CRI-KEE, I'VE MADE A DECISION.

I GOTTA KISS MY PEDESTAL GOODBYE, 'CAUSE MY GIRL'S HAPPINESS COMES FIRST.

[ SQUEAKING ] [ HORSE NEIGHS ] PAPA, MAMA.

WE WERE JUST ADMIRING THE MUDAN TREE.

IT'S SO LOVELY THIS YEAR.

THE BLOSSOMS REACH FOR THE SUNLIGHT ABOVE, YET, UNSEEN, THE ROOTS REACH FOR THE RAINWATER BELOW.

SUN AND RAIN -- SO DIFFERENT, YET ONLY BY WORKING TOGETHER DO THEY CREATE HARMONY AND LIFE.

I KNOW, PAPA -- THE LESSON OF YIN AND YANG.

AND TO HELP YOU REMEMBER THAT LESSON...

FATHER, MOTHER, YOUR NECKLACES. NOT OURS -- OUR GREAT-GREAT-GRANDPARENTS. AND NOW...YOURS.

THANK YOU, SIR.

OH, THEY'RE SO BEAUTIFUL.

BUT YOU'LL BE SURPRISED HOW HEAVILY THEY CAN WEIGH.

TO SHARE THE BURDEN, YOU MUST WORK TOGETHER, LIKE THE SUN AND RAIN.

WAIT A MINUTE.

OLD MAN FA ZHOU GOT A POINT, NOW.

MULAN AND SHANG ARE AS DIFFERENT AS SUN AND RAIN.

AND WHEN THE INFATUATION WEARS OFF, THEIR TREE OF LIFE'S GONNA WIND UP WITH ROOT ROT.

[ SQUEAKING ] OH, YEAH, SURE, SHE SEEMS HAPPY.

THAT'S THE REAL TRAGEDY HERE! THE GIRL DON'T EVEN REALIZE HOW MISERABLE SHE IS.

[ SQUEAKING ] THAT'S WHY I GOTTA NIP THIS THING IN THE BUD.

[ SQUEAKING ANGRILY ] THIS IS NOT ABOUT MY PEDESTAL.

THIS IS ABOUT MULAN MAKING THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY -- UH, I MEAN, HER LIFE.

[ SQUEAKING ] MAN, HOW COULD I HAVE BEEN SO SELFISH? MULAN'S A GIRL WORTH FIGHTING FOR.

AND, AFTER ALL, I AM THE GIRL'S GUARDIAN.

CRI-KEE, I'M GONNA BREAK THEM UP! [ SQUEAKING ] OOH, SO I GUESS THAT MEANS YOU'RE ON BOARD.

UH, MULAN, COULD YOU SMOOTH OUT THE RIDE A LITTLE BIT? OH, I'M GETTING HORSE-SICK. [ GROANS ] MUSHU, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? HEY, WHITHER THOU GO, I GOETH, GIRL.

REMEMBER, TEAMWORK ISN'T ABOUT EGO.

IT'S ABOUT "WE GO." [ SQUEAKS ] CRI-KEE! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? [ LAUGHS ] PROTECT MULAN FROM ME? I'M HER GUARDIAN! YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YOU'RE HER LUCKY CRICKET.

YOU'RE LUCKY I DON'T BREAK OUT THE BUG SPRAY.

Emperor: AS WE STAND HERE, MONGOL FORCES ARE MOVING CLOSER TO OUR BORDER. THE THREAT OF ATTACK IS GROWING EVERY DAY.

AS IT IS, OUR ARMY'S HOPELESSLY OUTNUMBERED.

YOUR MAJESTY, LET ME LEAD MY FORCES IN A PRE-EMPTIVE STRIKE.

EACH OF MY WARRIORS WILL FIGHT LIKE 10 MONGOLS.

NO, GENERAL.

I PLAN TO DEFEAT THIS ENEMY WITHOUT THE USE OF FORCE.

INSTEAD, YOU WILL FORGE A UNION SO STRONG, THE MONGOL HORDES WON'T DARE ATTACK.

AN ALLIANCE WITH THE KINGDOM OF QUI GONG. WE WILL BECOME UNITED THROUGH MARRIAGE.

YOU WILL ESCORT THREE PRINCESSES TO QUI GONG.

THERE, THEY WILL MARRY LORD CHIN'S SONS WHAT? AND SEAL THIS CRITICAL ALLIANCE. YES, YOUR MAJESTY.

MY ADVISORS TELL ME THE CHARTS ARE CLEAR. IF THIS WEDDING DOES NOT TAKE PLACE IN THREE DAYS, THE ALLIANCE WILL CRUMBLE AND THE MONGOLS WILL DESTROY US.

MARK MY WORDS, GENERAL -- THREE DAYS.

NOT A MOMENT MORE, YOUR MAJESTY.

I KNOW THAT FACE, FA MULAN.

WHAT TROUBLES YOU? YOUR MAJESTY, AN ARRANGED MARRIAGE? REST ASSURED, CHILD, MY DAUGHTERS KNOW EXACTLY WHAT THEY'RE DOING.

YOUR DAUGHTERS? THEY CONSIDER IT AN HONOR TO MARRY IN THE CAUSE OF PEACE. YOUR MAJESTY, I, UH...

I...

APOLOGY ACCEPTED. GENERAL, HOW MANY TROOPS DO YOU ESTIMATE YOU WILL NEED TO ACCOMPLISH THIS MISSION? THREE.

THREE COMPANIES.

THREE MEN.

YOU SURPRISE ME, GENERAL.

THESE ARE MY CHILDREN.

THIS MISSION DOES NOT CALL FOR FORCE, BUT FINESSE.

WE MUST BECOME ONE WITH THE COUNTRYSIDE.

AS EMPEROR, I TRUST YOU.

AS A FATHER, I IMPLORE YOU TO CHOOSE YOUR THREE SOLDIERS WISELY.

I KNOW JUST THE MEN.

FEARLESS...

LOYAL...

AND DISCIPLINED.

CHINA'S MOST HONORABLE AND NOBLE SOLDIERS.

Cast
Chloe as Mulan

Max as Shang

Snowball as Mushu

Sweet Pea as Cri-Kee

Mel as Yao

Buddy as Ling

Duke as Chien Po

Gru (Despicable Me) as Emperor

Disgust (Inside Out) as Ting Ting

Sam Sparks (Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2) as Mei

Molly (Bubble Guppies) as Su

Skinner (Ratatouille) as Lord Chin

AND STAY OUT! [ ALL GRUNTING ] I'VE FOUND WIVES FOR HUNDREDS OF MEN, BUT THE GOLDEN DRAGON OF UNITY HIMSELF COULDN'T MAKE LOVE MATCHES FOR YOU THREE! COME BACK WHEN YOU GET PERSONALITIES! AAH! WELL, THAT'S A FINE WAY TO TREAT CHINA'S GREATEST -- OH! [ Muffled ] HEROES. WHAT'S HER PROBLEM? ALL I ASKED FOR WAS A GIRL WHO WOULD WORSHIP THE DIRT I WALK ON.

I SIMPLY ASKED FOR SOMEONE WHO WOULD COOK FOR ME MORNING, NOON, AND NIGHT.

I JUST WANTED A GIRL WHO LIKES TO LAUGH...

AND THINKS I'M A GOD.

PERHAPS WE WEREN'T SPECIFIC ENOUGH.

OH, FORGET THAT DRAGON LADY.

THE ONLY ONES WHO CAN FIND GIRLS WORTHY OF US...IS US.

YEAH.

♪ WELL, I DON'T NEED HER ♪ ♪ TO BE ALL SMUG AND SNOOTY ♪ PBHT! PBHT! PBHT! ♪ I GOT A PLAQUE RIGHT HERE ♪ ♪ THAT SAYS I KICKED HUN BOOTY ♪ ♪ WE HAVE EVERYTHING WE DREAMED WE'D FIND ♪ ♪ WHEN WE CAME BACK FROM WAR ♪ ♪ YEAH, EVERYTHING BUT ♪ ♪ A GIRL WORTH FIGHTING FOR ♪ ♪ HEY, SUCK IN YOUR GUT ♪ ♪ THERE'S A GIRL WORTH FIGHTING FOR ♪ ♪ AND I THINK SHE WANTS US TO COME OVER ♪ ♪ MY GIRL WILL LAUGH AT ALL MY JOKES ♪ ♪ BUT TELL IT TO ME STRAIGHT ♪ ♪ SHE'LL RUB MY HEAD WHEN I GET SICK ♪ ♪ AND LET ME PICK OFF OF HER PLATE ♪ ♪ IF LING CAN FIND A GIRL ♪ ♪ WHO LIKES HIS CHOPSTICK NOSE TRICK ♪ ♪ OOH, HE REALLY BETTER JUST PROPOSE QUICK ♪ ♪ WELL, I HAVE TO SAY BASED ON TODAY I'M CRANKY ♪ ♪ I'LL JUST SPEND MY LIFE WITH YOU TWO ♪ ♪ PASS THE HANKY ♪ ♪ AND THERE'S NO ONE THERE TO STEAL MY CHAIR ♪ ♪ AND TWIRL AROUND THE FLOOR ♪ ♪ WISH I HAD A GIRL WORTH FIGHTING FOR ♪ ♪ I WOULD BE TRUE ♪ ♪ TO A GIRL WORTH FIGHTING ♪ ♪ I'D MAKE FONDUE ♪ ♪ FOR A GIRL WORTH FIGHTING ♪ ♪ I'D EVEN KISS YOU ♪ ♪ FOR A GIRL WORTH FIGHTING ♪ [ ALL GRUNTING ] [ Weakly ] ♪ FOR ♪ All: MULAN! GENERAL SHANG! [ CHUCKLES ] IF YOU THREE AREN'T TOO BUSY DISTURBING THE PEACE, I NEED YOU TO JOIN MULAN AND ME ON A MISSION.

TO SAVE CHINA? NATURALLY.

I'LL BE LEAVING BEHIND A FEW BROKEN HEARTS, BUT COUNT ME IN! SIGN ME UP! WHEN DO WE START, GENERAL? TONIGHT.

[ HORSE NEIGHS ] HUH? [ SIGHS ] WE'RE ABOUT TO DEPART, YOUR HIGHNESSES. YOU HAVE MY WORD WE WILL ARRIVE SWIFTLY AND SAFELY.

MY SISTERS AND I THANK YOU, GENERAL SHANG.

PERMIT ME TO INTRODUCE FA MULAN.

IT IS A PRIVILEGE TO MEET THE HERO OF CHINA.

I LEAVE YOU IN HER CAPABLE HANDS.

STAND READY! YOU MIGHT NEED THESE.

IT'S A LITTLE CHILLY.

THANK YOU, FA MULAN.

YOU'RE WELCOME, YOUR HIGHNESS.

SO...YOU'RE GETTING MARRIED.

OH, YES.

TO PRINCES IN QUI GONG.

THAT'S RIGHT.

WELL, THEY MUST BE HANDSOME.

WE DON'T KNOW.

WE'VE NEVER MET THEM.

REALLY? SO YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THEY'RE LIKE...

AT ALL? IT'S ALL RIGHT, FA MULAN.

IT'S OUR HONOR TO SERVE THE EMPEROR.

AND THE MIDDLE KINGDOM. THE WHOLE THING IS SO EXCITING. WE'RE VERY HAPPY... REALLY.

WELL, I'M GLAD TO HEAR THAT.

I'M NOT SURE I COULD GO THROUGH WITH SOME-- Shang: MULAN! PREPARE TO MOVE OUT. UM, TIME TO GET GOING.

[ ALL SIGH ] Shang: MOVE OUT! [ HORSES WHINNY ] IF WE GET TO THE HONSHU PASS BY MIDDAY TOMORROW...

WE'LL HAVE JUST ENOUGH TIME TO MAKE IT TO QUI GONG.

YEAH, JUST ENOUGH TIME TO STOP MULAN FROM MAKING THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY -- I-I MEAN, UH, HER LIFE.

[ HORSE WHINNIES ] [ SIGHS ] WHAT'S THE FACE? WHAT FACE? THAT FACE.

THERE'S NO FACE. THIS IS MY FACE, THAT'S ALL.

YOU KNOW I KNOW YOU BETTER THAN THAT, MULAN. WHAT'S WRONG? [ SIGHS ] I REALIZE OUR DUTY IS TO THE MISSION.

BUT? BUT I HAVE ANOTHER DUTY... TO MY HEART.

OH, MULAN, YOUR ONLY DUTY IS TO THE EMPEROR.

BUT, SHANG, AN ARRANGED MARRIAGE? I KNOW, BUT NOT EVERYONE CAN BE AS LUCKY AS WE ARE.

IN AN IDEAL WORLD, EVERYONE WOULD MARRY FOR LOVE.

[ SIGHS ] BUT THE WORLD ISN'T PERFECT.

I'M JUST GLAD MY WORLD IS.

[ SIGHS ] "MY WORLD" -- TALK ABOUT SELFISH.

YOU KNOW, YOU DON'T HEAR ME BRAGGING ABOUT HOW IT'S MY WORLD, EVEN THOUGH IT PRETTY MUCH IS.

I'M TELLING YOU, CRI-KEE, THE SOONER I BUST THEM APART, THE BETTER THINGS WILL BE FOR MULAN.

AND SO I SAID, "YOU JUST BROKE MY BEST SET OF CHINA." [ LAUGHS ] CHINA, GET IT? DID YOU SEE THE WAY SHE LOOKED AT ME? YOU MEAN WITH DISGUST? [ LAUGHTER ] NO! OW! OUR EYES MET, AND WE SHARED A COSMIC MOMENT.

OH, JUST LIKE WHEN I LOOK AT POTTED PIG'S KNUCKLES. [ LAUGHS ] IT'S LOVE, I TELL YOU! LOVE...

LOVE, SHMOVE -- IT DOESN'T MATTER.

WE'RE ON A MISSION.

NO FRATERNIZING WITH THE PRINCESSES.

ENGAGED-TO-BE-MARRIED PRINCESSES. OH, YEAH.

WOW, CHINA IS SO BIG! ISN'T IT BEAUTIFUL, MEI? MEI? OH, YES.

BEAUTIFUL.

DID YOU SEE THE WAY HE LOOKED AT ME? WHO, THE GORILLA WITH THE BAD EYE? GORILLA? HE'S MORE LIKE A BIG, CUDDLY PANDA BEAR.

BUT YOU DIDN'T EVEN TALK TO HIM.

A TRUE ROMANTIC CAN TELL -- HE MAY BE COARSE ON THE OUTSIDE, BUT ON THE INSIDE...

HE'S GROSS? I MEAN UNDER THAT.

HE SMELLS? OH! I CAN SEE PAST MY NOSE.

DEEP DOWN -- DEEP, DEEP DOWN, WAY DOWN, THERE'S SOMETHING.

OH, TING TING, I THINK SHE'S IN LOVE.

OH, NO. THERE'LL BE NONE OF THAT. REMEMBER, MEI, YOU ARE TO BE MARRIED IN THREE DAYS.

YOU GAVE YOUR SOLEMN OATH.

YOU'RE RIGHT.

Shang: WHOA! [ HORSES NEIGH ] WE'RE STOPPING TO WATER THE HORSES, YOUR HIGHNESSES. MAYBE YOU'D LIKE TO STRETCH YOUR LEGS? ARE THE, UM, GUARD FELLOWS OUT THERE? OH, YES, YOU'RE PERFECTLY SAFE.

I THINK A LEG STRETCH WOULD BE VERY NICE.

[ GIGGLES ] [ YAO HUMMING ] OOPS. UH...

THANK YOU FOR HELPING ME WITH MY SLIPPER.

OW! MAY I KNOW YOUR NAME? UH, NOW, DOW, COW! BAO? NO, YOU MUST EAT.

IT MUST BE EXHAUSTING GUARDING US DAY AND NIGHT.

OH, NO.

WELL, YES, BUT I'M STRONG AND MARCHING.

YES, I SUPPOSE ALL THAT TRAINING DOES MAKE IT SECOND NATURE.

BUT I THINK, UH, YOU AND PRINCESS WITH, UH...

OH, I COULD NEVER.

BUT IT IS OUR DUTY AND OUR HONOR, ALTHOUGH IT CAN BE A BURDEN.

OH, I'VE SAID TOO MUCH.

YOU ARE VERY EASY TO TALK TO, YAO.

PERMIT ME TO ECHO YOUR PRAISE, YOUR HIGHNESS.

I FIND YOUR PRESENCE ENGAGING AND YOUR CONVERSATION SPARKLING.

THANK YOU.

[ INHALES DEEPLY ] [ GRUNTING SOFTLY ] WHOA! [ GIGGLES ] HMM. [ GASPS ] WELL, HELLO THERE.

I AM LING.

I AM PRINCESS TING TING.

WELL, IF YOU EVER NEED ME, JUST GIVE ME A TING-A-LING! [ LAUGHS ] [ GROANS ] COME ON, YOUR HIGHNESS. YOU DON'T WANT TO LET YOUR GUARD DOWN.

GET IT? GUARD...DOWN? THANK YOU! [ LAUGHS ] [ GROANS ] YOU KNOW, I'VE GOT SOME BLUE BLOOD MYSELF.

MANY HAVE CALLED ME A ROYAL PAIN! THANK YOU! OH! YOU'VE BEEN A GREAT CROWD! [ SIGHS ] [ GIGGLES ] TING TING, LOOK! ISN'T THIS FRUIT LOVELY? CHIEN-PO GOT IT FOR ME.

HE'S SO SWEET.

Cast
Gidget as Mulan

Duke as Yao

Buddy as Mushu

Max as Shang

Roxanne (Megamind) as Ting Ting

Oona (Bubble Guppies) as Su

Chloe as Ling

Snowball as Cri-Kee

Tiberius as Chien Po

Pops as Emperor

King Triton (The Little Mermaid) as Lord Chin

JUST GET YOUR POMEGRANATES IN THE CARRIAGE.

[ LAUGHS ] FA MULAN? YOUR HIGHNESS.

IS ANYTHING WRONG? NO, NO, NOT AT ALL.

ARE YOU...SURE? UH...

I JUST WANTED TO COMPLIMENT YOU.

YOU WERE SO BRAVE TO TAKE YOUR FATHER'S PLACE IN THE ARMY.

OH, WELL, THANK YOU.

YOUR DUTY WAS TO STAY HOME, BUT YOUR HEART TOLD YOU TO BREAK THE RULES. HOW DID YOU DECIDE BETWEEN DUTY AND HEART? UH...OH! WELL, IT WASN'T EASY, BUT, UH, BY FOLLOWING MY FEELINGS, I WOUND UP DOING THE RIGHT THING.

I GUESS I LEARNED THAT MY DUTY IS TO MY HEART.

MY DUTY IS TO MY HEART.

YES, THAT MAKES SENSE.

THAT'S MARVELOUS! THANK YOU, FA MULAN! THANK YOU! YOU'RE WELCOME...

I GUESS.

Shang: LET'S GET BACK ON THE ROAD! HA HA...

THAT'S MY CUE TO PUT "OPERATION SHANG" INTO ACTION.

PRETTY BOY'S GONNA LOOK SO BAD, IT'LL SEND MULAN RUNNING FOR THE HILLS.

THIS IS GONNA BE DELICIOUS.

AH...

HMM...

MNH-MNH-MNH.

WATCH THIS.

UNH! OH! HEY! WHAT -- WHAT -- [ MUMBLING ] AAH! GOOD CATCH, SHANG.

[ LAUGHING ] [ GROWLS ] AH! [ LAUGHS EVILLY ] OH! [ SMOOCHES, LAUGHS ] [ GRUMBLING ] [ NICKERS ] [ SNORTS ] AAH! OHH! [ WHIMPERING ] OH...SHANG? UNH! OH! [ BOTH LAUGH ] AAH! [ GROANING ] [ GASPS ] [ NEIGHS ] OHH! OHH! AAH! OH! OH! OH! [ AIR WHISTLING ] HEY! MMM...TASTY! [ GROWLS ] [ NEIGHS ] AAH! [ SHOUTING ] [ GROANING WEAKLY ] [ GRUNTS ] I TRY AND I TRY.

I PUT MY HEART AND SOUL INTO BUSTING THEM UP.

AND WHAT DO I HAVE TO SHOW FOR IT? [ LAUGHING ] A CRICKET LAUGHS IN MY FACE.

OH, I JUST CAN'T DO IT ANYMORE! OH, GREAT ANCESTORS, I THROW MYSELF AT YOUR MERCY.

MY PEDESTAL IS ALL BUT A DISTANT MEMORY.

GREAT SPIRITS, TAKE ME NOW! AAH! [ SQUEAKING ] [ MUFFLED SHOUTING ] [ PRINCESSES SHOUTING ] HOLD ON, LADIES.

OHH! WE'LL SAVE YOU! LOOK OUT -- A CLIFF! THEY'RE HEADED FOR THE CLIFF. COME ON! HYAH! HYAH! HYAH! TIME TO GO, LADIES.

TING TING, OVER HERE! GO! OH! YOU NEXT, SU! NO, NO, NO! ALLEY-OOP! TAKE MY ARM! LING! [ GASPS ] TING TING'S STUCK! MULAN, THE ROPE! HYAH! [ HORSE NEIGHS ] AAH! AAH! AAH! HANG ON! [ ALL SCREAMING ] [ COUGHING ] [ ALL GASPING, BREATHING HEAVILY ] AAH! UNH! IS EVERYONE ALL RIGHT? MEI, I'LL SAVE YOU! I SAVED THE FOOD.

AND I SAVED YOU.

[ GASPS ] MULAN! [ COUGHING ] WHAT HAPPENED? I DON'T KNOW. I WASN'T NEAR THE CARRIAGE.

YAO, LING, SAVE THE SUPPLIES.

KEEP PADDLING.

[ GASPING ] OH, LOOK HOW GREAT YOU'RE DOING.

WHO'S THE BIG BOY? THANK YOU.

[ SQUEAKING ] MY FAULT? THIS WASN'T MY PLAN.

WAGON'S BUSTED, COLD AND MISERABLE -- EVERYTHING'S RUINED.

OR MAYBE NOT.

OLD SHANG'S STEAMING LIKE A FRESH PORK BUN.

[ LAUGHS ] I BET HE AND MULAN ARE TWO NASTY WORDS AWAY FROM AN ALL-OUT FEUD! OH, CRI-KEE, THINGS ARE BRIGHTENING UP AFTER ALL! OH... [ SQUEAKS ] [ SQUEAKS ] I'VE SEEN HAPPIER PRINCESSES.

THAT'S THE LEAST OF OUR PROBLEMS.

OH! THERE'S A MOUNTAIN PASS BETWEEN HERE AND QUI GONG.

IT TAKES US THROUGH BANDIT COUNTRY, BUT IT'S THE ONLY WAY.

WHY NOT JUST FOLLOW THE RIVER? BECAUSE THE RIVER'S NOT ON THE MAP.

IT'S BOUND TO GO PAST A TOWN, AND WHERE THERE'S A TOWN, THERE'S A ROAD.

THERE'S NO TOWN ON THE MAP.

WELL, THEN, MAYBE WE SHOULD JUST FORGET THE MAP AND WING IT.

WE CAN'T WING IT.

WE NEED A NEW PLAN. WE HAVE THREE DAYS.

WHAT IF WE GET LOST? THEN WE PULL OVER AND ASK DIRECTIONS.

WE DON'T NEED TO PULL OVER AND ASK DIRECTIONS.

WE HAVE A MAP! WHAT IS IT WITH MEN AND ASKING DIRECTIONS? WHAT IS IT WITH WOMEN AND MAPS? OH, YOU'RE SAYING WOMEN CAN'T READ MAPS? I'M SAYING THAT WOMEN WILL ASK DIRECTIONS MEN FOLLOW DIRECTIONS BUT THEY WON'T FOLLOW DIRECTIONS.

EVEN WHEN THERE ARE NO DIRECTIONS BECAUSE THEY REFUSE MEN FOLLOW DIRECTIONS TO ASK DIRECTIONS.

SO THEY DON'T NEED TO ASK FOR DIRECTIONS.

GENERAL, I -- OH...

AM I INTERRUPTING? WHAT IS IT, YAO? SCOUT REPORT.

I FOUND A VILLAGE AND A PATH TO IT THROUGH THE FOREST.

Together: A...FOREST PATH? GREAT.

[ BOTH CHUCKLE ] SHOW US.

SEE? IF IT WERE A SNAKE, IT WOULD HAVE BIT YOU.

THERE'S BOUND TO BE A ROAD DOWN THERE THAT'LL LEAD US TO QUI GONG.

GOOD WORK, YAO.

THANK YOU, SIR.

SHANG, I'M SORRY.

YOU'RE IN CHARGE OF THE MISSION.

NO, I'M THE ONE WHO'S SORRY.

A GOOD LEADER IS OPEN TO NEW IDEAS.

FORGIVE ME? THERE'S NOTHING TO FORGIVE.

MMM...

OH! [ BOTH CHUCKLE ] UM, I BETTER GO.

I'VE GOT THE FIRST WATCH... GENERAL.

BUT...

[ SQUEAKING ] PBHT! ARE YOU BUGGING? LOOK AT HER GO.

SHE CAN'T WAIT TO GET AWAY FROM HIM.

[ SQUEAKING ANGRILY ] THAT'S NO SMILE.

THAT'S A MASK OF PAIN.

[ Squeaking ] UH-OH.

YEAH, WELL, THAT WAS JUST PHASE ONE OF MY NEW 18-PHASE MASTER PLAN.

NOW, JUST WATCH PHASE TWO WHEN I GET UP CLOSE...

[ SCREECHES ] ...AND PERSONAL.

[ POUNDING ] [ GRUNTS ] [ SIGHS ] EXCUSE ME. YOUR HIGHNESS? I FOUND YOUR FAN.

IT JUST NEEDED A LITTLE DRYING OUT.

OH, THANK YOU, LING.

NORMALLY, I WOULD SAY, "I'M YOUR BIGGEST FAN." [ LAUGHS ] BUT, UH...

I'LL JUST GO AWAY NOW... AGAIN.

OH! SORRY.

[ BOTH CHUCKLING ] I'LL RE-- I'LL REPLACE THAT.

OH! [ MUMBLING ] OF COURSE SHE DOESN'T LIKE YOU.

YOU'RE SUCH A DING-A-LING.

HE LIKES YOU. IT WOULD SEEM SO.

AND YOU LIKE HIM...

WELL, I...APPRECIATE THAT HE'S A GOOD SOLDIER.

HOW CAN YOU DO THAT?! HOW CAN YOU LOOK RIGHT AT SOMEONE, REALIZE YOU SHARE A SPECIAL CONNECTION, AND THEN JUST -- I KNOW WHERE MY DUTY LIES, MEI.

DO YOU? [ GASPS ] [ SIGHS ] "AND SO, MY DEAR FATHER, I CANNOT COMPLETE THIS MISSION.

I HAVE COME TO REALIZE THAT MY DUTY IS TO MY HEART." WHAT ARE YOU DOING? [ GASPS ] [ GASPS ] SHE'S RUNNING AWAY! MEI, WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?! I CAN'T COMPLETE THIS MISSION.

I KNOW THAT NOW.

WHY -- BECAUSE YAO HAS GIVEN YOU HIS HEART? NO! IT'S NOT ABOUT HIS HEART.

IT'S ABOUT MINE.

MEI, WE'VE DISCUSSED THIS.

A PRINCESS MUST MAKE EVERY SACRIFICE FOR HER COUNTRY.

IT'S OUR DUTY.

[ SOBBING ] ♪ THE LIFE OF A PRINCESS ♪ ♪ FROM HER BIRTH IS WELL-DEFINED ♪ [ SOBBING CONTINUES ] ♪ SHE MUST HUMBLY SERVE HER COUNTRY ♪ ♪ PLAY THE PART SHE'S BEEN ASSIGNED ♪ ♪ SHE GUARDS THE HOPES OF HER PEOPLE ♪ ♪ WEAK AND MIGHTY, RICH AND POOR ♪ ♪ WHO COULD EVER ASK FOR MORE? ♪ ♪ WHO COULD EVER ASK FOR... ♪ ♪ WHO COULD EVER ASK FOR... ♪ Together: ♪ MORE? ♪ [ GRUNTING ] ♪ I WANT TO BE LIKE OTHER GIRLS ♪ ♪ CLIMB UP A TREE LIKE OTHER GIRLS CAN ♪ Together: ♪ JUST TO BE FREE LIKE OTHER GIRLS ♪ ♪ GET TO BE ♪ MEI! SU! ♪ TO SLOUCH WHEN I SIT ♪ ♪ TO EAT A WHOLE CAKE ♪ ♪ FEEL THE SUN ON MY FEET ♪ ♪ GET DIRTY ♪ ♪ ACT SILLY ♪ ♪ BE ANYTHING I WANT TO BE ♪ ♪ DANCE AROUND ♪ ♪ IN MY UNDERWEAR ♪ ♪ TO RUN REALLY FAST ♪ ♪ TO GET RID OF THIS FAN ♪ ♪ TO EAT A WHOLE CAKE ♪ ♪ GET CRAZY ♪ ♪ WITH FROSTING ♪ ♪ NO ESCORTS, NO NURSEMAIDS ♪ ♪ NO MANNERS ♪ ♪ NO WORRIES, NO HANDS FOLDED PERFECT ♪ ♪ LIKE HOLDING A LILY ♪ ♪ NO PINCHY SHOES? ♪ [ ALL GIGGLING ] ♪ I WANT TO BE LIKE OTHER GIRLS ♪ ♪ SCRAPE UP MY KNEE LIKE OTHER GIRLS CAN ♪ ♪ JUST TO BE FREE LIKE OTHER GIRLS ♪ ♪ GET TO BE ♪ ♪ TO SPEAK FOR MYSELF ♪ ♪ TO SING WAY OFF-KEY ♪ ♪ MARRY SOMEONE I'VE MET WHO LOVES ME FOR ME ♪ ♪ NO ESCORTS, NO "MANNERS" ♪ ♪ NO NURSEMAIDS, NO WORRIES ♪ ♪ NO HANDS FOLDED PERFECT ♪ ♪ LIKE HOLDING A LILY ♪ ♪ NO PINCHY SHOES ♪ ♪ I WANT TO BE LIKE OTHER GIRLS ♪ ♪ CLIMB UP A TREE LIKE OTHER GIRLS CAN ♪ ♪ JUST TO BE FREE LIKE OTHER GIRLS ♪ ♪ GET TO BE ♪ [ ALL GIGGLING ] OH.

Mushu: SHE DEFIED YOU. SHE INSULTED YOU. MAN, SHE LAUGHED AT YOUR MAP.

[ Sleepily ] MY MAP...

AND IF SHE'S LAUGHING TO YOUR FACE, IMAGINE WHAT SHE'S SAYING BEHIND YOUR BACK! MY BACK...

OH, OH...

SHE'S A LOOSE CANNON.

SHE'S OUT OF CONTROL! SHE'S OUT OF CONTROL.

I MEAN, WHO'S IN CHARGE HERE -- YOU...OR MULAN? I'M IN CHARGE. I'M IN CHARGE.

MULAN...MULAN! MULAN! HUH? [ SIGHS, YAWNS ] [ LIPS SMACKING ] [ CLEARS THROAT ] GENERAL SHANG? [ CLEARS THROAT ] THAT'S NOT IT. [ High-pitched ] GENERAL SHANG? HELLO? IT'S ME -- MULAN.

GENERAL SHANG. [ CLEARS THROAT ] [ Imitating Mulan ] SHANG? SHANG? SHANG? [ Normal voice ] OOH, I GOT IT.

[ Imitating Mulan ] GENERAL SHANG? GENERAL HARDHEAD, THAT'S WHAT THEY SHOULD CALL HIM. EVERYTHING'S GOT TO HAVE A STRATEGY. MULAN? THE MAN WON'T BRUSH HIS TEETH WITHOUT A BACKUP PLAN. WHAT? HUH? I BLAME MYSELF. I FELL FOR THOSE BROAD SHOULDERS.

I DIDN'T REALIZE THERE WASN'T MUCH SITTING ON TOP OF THEM.

[ GASPS ] [ POP! ] OH, EXCEPT FOR THAT GARLIC BREATH.

[ Normal voice ] OOH-WEE, THAT BOY CAN PEEL PAINT! OOPS.

[ GASPS ] THAT'S ENOUGH! WHERE IS SHE? [ LAUGHS ] I AM GOOD! MULAN! WHY, HELLO, GENERAL. OUT ON NIGHT MANEUVERS? GENERAL HARDHEAD? BRUSHING MY TEETH? UM...SOMETHING WRONG? I HEARD YOU, MULAN -- EVERY WORD.

EVERY...WORD OF WHAT? DON'T PLAY COY! I SAW YOU OUTSIDE MY TENT.

WHAT? I HAVEN'T LEFT MY POST.

AND I SUPPOSE YOU WEREN'T GOSSIPING ABOUT ME WITH THE PRINCESSES.

SHANG, DID THAT DIP IN THE RIVER GET YOU WATERLOGGED? AND WHY ARE YOU TALKING WITH YOUR HAND OVER YOUR MOUTH? I WOULDN'T WANT TO PEEL YOUR PAINT! CHANGING OF THE GUARD.

AND NEXT TIME, DON'T LEAVE YOUR POST! HMM! WHAT'S WITH HIM? OHH! WHAT'S WITH HER? WHO AM I TALKING TO? OH! HOW COULD HE NOT BELIEVE ME? [ SQUEAKING ] I DON'T KNOW, GIRLFRIEND, BUT I DO KNOW THIS -- WITHOUT TRUST... THERE CAN BE NO RELATIONSHIP.

AND THAT MAN DON'T TRUST YOU.

MAYBE HE WAS JUST CONFUSED.

OH, PLEASE. FIRST YOU FUSSED ABOUT THE ARRANGED MARRIAGE.

THEN YOU FOUGHT ABOUT WHICH WAY TO QUI GONG.

NOW Y'ALL FEUDING OVER NOTHING. IT SEEMS PRETTY CLEAR TO ME.

YOU'RE RIGHT. [ SIGHS ] MUSHU, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.

OH, I DO. IT'S SIMPLE. DROP THAT BOY LIKE A HOT POT STICKER.

KICK HIM TO THE CURB! BURN HIS LETTERS, AND DANCE AROUND THE FIRE, YELLING, "HAPPY DAYS ARE HERE AGAIN!" YOU KNOW, YOU HAVE A POINT. IF THIS IS THE REAL LI SHANG, I DON'T LIKE WHAT I'M SEEING.

I HOPE THE TEA IS STILL WARM.

[ INDISTINCT WHISPERING ] AFTER YOU.

NO, AFTER YOU.

NO, AFTER YOU.

AFTER YOU.

I SAID AFTER YOU! UNH! [ ALL GRUNTING ] AAH! [ ALL GASP ] [ GRUNTS ] YOU -- I'M GONNA -- Mei: YAO! HUH? IS EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT? NO.

I MEAN, YES.

YOU SEE, CHIEN-PO HERE HAS ALWAYS HAD A DREAM.

A DREAM? A DREAM? A DREAM.

BUT I DON'T -- OOH! OH, THAT DREAM.

A DREAM OF SEEING A SMALL VILLAGE IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE BY THE MOONLIGHT.

HOW CAN WE HELP? WELL, IF YOUR HIGHNESSES WOULD CONSENT TO COME WITH US TO THE VILLAGE, WE COULD STILL GUARD YOU, AND CHIEN-PO COULD HAVE HIS DREAM.

MY ONE CHANCE TO BE LIKE OTHER GUYS.

CAN WE? TING TING, CAN WE, PLEASE? OH! OH, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE. TING TING, PLEASE! SOUNDS LIKE FUN.

[ ALL CHEERING ] Shh! OOH, WE'RE SORRY. [ GIGGLES ] WE'RE OFF! I NEVER NOTICED WE WERE SO DIFFERENT.

HUH? IT'S LIKE I DON'T EVEN KNOW HIM. WELL, WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT? I MEAN, I KNOW HE'S "BY THE BOOK," BUT DOESN'T THE MAN EVER BEND A RULE? AND, UH, SPEAKING OF BENDING RULES -- YOU KNOW, RELATIONSHIPS ARE EASY WHEN EVERYTHING RUNS NICE AND SMOOTH.

OH, BUT -- MULAN...

Cast
Gidget as Mulan

Max as Shang

Mel as Yao

Duke as Ling

Chloe as Mushu

Sweet Pea as Cri-Kee

Katie as Mei

Tiberius as Chien Po

Roxanne (Megamind) as Ting Ting

Oona (Bubble Guppies) as Su

NICE AND SMOOTH JUST RAN OUT OF CAMP.

WHAT?! SAY, DID YOU KNOW THAT ALMONDS, RICE, AND MILK ARE PART OF A COMPLETE BREAKFAST? MUSHU! I'M JUST TRYING TO TELL YOU THE PRINCESSES WENT A.W.O.L., THAT'S ALL.

WHERE ARE THE GUARDS? OHH! UH, SHOWING THEM THE WAY.

THEY'RE TOGETHER?! MM-HMM.

TOGETHER TOGETHER? DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND CHINESE? OH! HEY, WHAT ABOUT OLD SHANG-HI? I THINK I BETTER HANDLE THIS ONE ON MY OWN.

SHANG'S ON A SHORT FUSE AS IT IS.

JUST MAKE SURE NOTHING WAKES HIM UP.

[ LAUGHS ] YOU CAN COUNT ON ME.

[ LOUD MUSIC PLAYING ] [ SNORING ] [ GROWLS ] [ LAUGHS ] [ SQUEAKS ] [ CRASH ] AAAH! [ SQUEAKS ] WHERE ARE THE GUARDS? THE PRINCESSES! OH! "MY DUTY IS TO MY HEART"? AAAH! MULAN! [ NEIGHS ] GET YOUR TICKET, CRICKET. THE SHOW'S ABOUT TO BEGIN.

[ SQUEAKS ] OW! OH! [ CHINESE MUSIC PLAYS ] [ SHOUTING AND CHEERING ] WOW! LOOK AT ALL THE FOOD! [ SNIFFS ] MMM! WE JUST GOT IN SOME EXCELLENT GINGER.

[ SNIFFS ] AH, GINGER.

THAT GOES VERY WELL WITH DUMPLINGS.

DID YOU SAY "DUMPLINGS"? [ LAUGHS ] MMM.

HOW ABOUT SOME FRESH GINSENG? THAT MAKES A WONDERFUL ACCOMPANIMENT TO SOYBEANS.

ONE ORDER OF SOYBEANS.

[ CRUNCHES ] MMM.

HYAH! OH! OH! OOH! HE'S DONE! GET HIM OFF! OH, MY! WHO WILL BE NEXT TO CHALLENGE THE UNDEFEATED SHI RONGKAI? [ GROWLS ] OH! STEP ASIDE.

YAO! OH, NO! Man: YOU'LL GET KILLED, LITTLE MAN. [ GROWLS ] OH! OH! OH! [ GASPS ] [ LAUGHS ] [ GASPS ] [ CHEERING ] SO, WHERE'D HE GO? OHHH! [ LAUGHTER ] YAO! YOU'RE MY HERO! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] Man: PICK A PRIZE, ANY PRIZE. [ SIGHS ] WHICH ONE DO YOU WANT, SIR? GIVE ME THAT ONE.

[ LAUGHS ] [ LAUGHING ] OH, YEAH! OKAY, OKAY. OKAY, HOW ABOUT THIS ONE? WHAT DOES ATTILA SAY WHEN HE WALKS THROUGH THE DOOR? "HUN, I'M HOME!" [ LAUGHING ] [ SIGHS ] I GIVE UP.

I GUESS I'M NOT AS FUNNY AS I THINK.

[ POPPING ] AAAAH! AAAAAAH! UHH. [ SIGHS ] [ CHUCKLES ] [ LAUGHS, SNORTS ] OH.

HUH? [ LAUGHING ] WHAT A CUTE LAUGH.

OH, NO. I-I HATE MY LAUGH.

WHAT? IT'S ADORABLE! [ SNORTING ] I THOUGHT YOU DIDN'T HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR.

NO SENSE OF HUMOR? AHHH! [ LAUGHING ] [ SNORTS ] [ LAUGHING AND SNORTING ] [ PRINCESSES SIGH ] IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL. YEAH.

IT'S THE SAME MOON WE SEE FROM THE PALACE.

NO, THIS ONE IS ENTIRELY DIFFERENT.

YOU'RE RIGHT.

Mulan: I KNOW I'VE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE IT. MULAN! OH! OH! MULAN! I'M LISTENING.

WE -- THAT IS -- UH, ALL OF US -- OH, BOY.

FA MULAN, IT'S LOVE.

YAO AND MYSELF, CHIEN-PO AND SU...

AND MYSELF AND LINGY BEAR -- I-I MEAN, LING...

[ SQUEALS ] [ LAUGHTER ] GROUP HUG! [ GROANS ] OH, I'M SO HAPPY FOR ALL OF YOU.

[ HORSE NEIGHS ] HUH? HUH? HUH? HUH? GENERAL SHANG? OH! OH! OH! OH! GENERAL SHANG? OH, BOY.

OHH.

EXCUSE ME.

EXCUSE ME. EXCUSE ME.

DON'T WORRY. I'LL HANDLE THIS.

I'M SO SORRY TO BREAK UP YOUR LITTLE PARTY.

OOH, THIS IS GONNA BE GOOD.

SHANG, BEFORE YOU JUMP TO CONCLUSIONS, LET ME EXPLAIN THE SITUATION.

FINE! WHY DON'T WE START WITH THIS? [ GASPS ] THAT'S MINE. ALL YOURS, OR DID YOU HAVE HELP? "AND SO, MY DEAR FATHER, "I CANNOT COMPLETE THIS MISSION. "I HAVE COME TO REALIZE THAT MY DUTY IS TO MY HEART." NOW, WHO DOES THAT SOUND LIKE? MEI NEVER MEANT TO SEND THAT LETTER. YOUR HIGHNESSES, YOU SWORE A VOW TO BE MARRIED IN QUI GONG.

IF YOUR FATHER SAW YOU NOW, BREAKING THAT VOW, WHAT WOULD HE SAY? OH.

YOU THREE ARE TO ESCORT THEIR HIGHNESSES BACK TO THEIR TENTS IMMEDIATELY.

YOU ARE TO GUARD THEM.

YOU ARE NOT TO ENTER THEIR TENTS.

YOU ARE NOT TO SPEAK TO THEM -- NOT A WORD EVER. AM I UNDERSTOOD? YES, SIR! YES, SIR! YES, SIR! [ ALL SIGH ] SHANG, THE PROBLEM ISN'T AS BAD AS IT SEEMS.

THE PROBLEM, MULAN, IS YOU! WHAT? YOU PLACE YOUR OWN FEELINGS ABOVE EVERYTHING. DUTY, OBLIGATION, TRADITION -- IT ALL MEANS NOTHING TO YOU.

IT MEANS EVERYTHING TO ME! MY HEART TELLS ME MY DUTY, AND I FOLLOW IT.

OH! YOU'RE A BRILLIANT WARRIOR, SHANG.

[ SIGHS ] YOU'RE BRAVE. YOU'RE LOYAL.

BUT YOU DON'T TRUST YOUR HEART.

SOMETIMES I WONDER IF YOU EVEN HAVE ONE.

[ GASPS ] THIS ASSIGNMENT HAS MADE IT CLEAR WE ARE VERY DIFFERENT PEOPLE.

MAYBE TOO DIFFERENT.

FINE! [ NEIGHS ] WE HAVE A MISSION TO COMPLETE.

FINE.

[ SLOW MUSIC PLAYS ] [ YAWNS ] ISN'T IT A GREAT DAY? [ FLUTE MUSIC PLAYING ] I SEE PRETTY BOY ISN'T TALKING TO YOU, AND YOU'RE NOT TALKING TO PRETTY BOY.

WELL, YOU KNOW YOU CAN ALWAYS TALK TO ME.

HUH.

JUST WAIT TILL SHE REALIZES WHAT I'VE DONE FOR HER.

WILL THAT FROWN TURN UPSIDE DOWN! [ SQUEAKING ANGRILY ] SNAPDRAGON?! HAH! JUST FOR THAT, I'M NOT TALKING TO YOU! [ SQUEAKS ] WE'RE SO SORRY FOR WHAT WE'VE DONE, FA MULAN.

YOU INSPIRED US TO FOLLOW OUR HEARTS, AND WE REPAY YOU BY RUINING YOUR RELATIONSHIP.

NO, YOU JUST OPENED MY EYES TO HOW BROKEN IT WAS. I'M INDEBTED TO YOU, MEI.

KEEP A SHARP EYE. THIS IS BANDIT COUNTRY.

[ HORSE SNORTS ] [ GASPS ] I SURE WISH WE COULD TALK TO THE PRINCESSES, YAO.

WHAT? YOU KNOW WE CAN'T.

OH.

OH, YES, LING, I ALSO WISH WE COULD TALK TO THEM, BUT AS YOU KNOW, ORDERS IS ORDERS.

YES, BUT IF I COULD TALK TO THEM, DO YOU KNOW WHAT I WOULD SAY? NO, LING, WHAT WOULD YOU SAY IF ONLY YOU COULD? I'D TELL TING TING THAT SHE'S THE PRETTIEST...

OH.

FUNNIEST... MOST EXTRAORDINARY GIRL I'VE EVER MET.

I WOULD TELL PRINCESS SU THAT SHE IS LIKE FRESH GINGER ON THE RICE BOWL OF MY LIFE.

[ GIGGLES ] AND I WOULD TELL MEI THAT SHE'S ONE RIGHT BABE. [ GIGGLES ] MULAN, WHAT DO YOU SAY TO A LITTLE PICK-ME-UP? MY FATHER SAID, "DIFFERENCES CAN MAKE YOU STRONGER." HE DIDN'T REALIZE THAT SHANG AND I ARE JUST TOO DIFFERENT.

Mushu: WELL... YOU KNOW YOU -- YOU ALWAYS GOT ME.

THE OLD TEAM, RIGHT?

Mulan: AW. YOU'RE ALWAYS LOOKING OUT FOR ME, MUSHU.

Mush: [ LAUGHS NERVOUSLY ] WELL, JUST DOING THE BEST I CAN.

Mulan: REALLY, I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT I'D DO WITHOUT YOU. YOU'RE THE BEST FRIEND I'VE EVER HAD.

Mushu: [ CHATTERING ] [ GASPING ] [ Sobbing ] AAAAH! OH, I CAN'T STAND IT NO MORE! THE ONLY THING WRONG WITH YOU AND SHANG IS ME! I'M THE ONE THAT GOT BETWEEN YOU.

Mulan: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? IT'S NOT LIKE YOU MADE THE CARRIAGE GO INTO THE RIVER.

Mushu: NOW, THAT WAS AN ACCIDENT. FOLLOWING SEVERAL ATTEMPTS AT "ON PURPOSE."

Mulan: AND IT WASN'T YOU OUTSIDE SHANG'S TENT.

Mushu: [ GULPS ] HEH HEH. YOU KNOW HOW I GAB

Mulan: AND YOU WOKE HIM UP AFTER I LEFT?

Mushu: IT WASN'T EASY, NEITHER. THAT MAN CAN SLEEP!

Mulan: MUSHU, WHAT DID YOU DO?!

Mushu: WELL, I WAS BANGING POTS AND PANS-

Mulan: NO! WHAT DID YOU DO?

Mushu: [ CHATTERING ] YOU WAS GETTING MARRIED! EVERYTHING WAS GONNA CHANGE! I WAS GONNA LOSE YOU! AND MY PEDESTAL!

Mulan: YOU MEAN YOU GOT BETWEEN SHANG AND ME SO YOU COULD KEEP YOUR JOB?!

Mushu: I'M SORRY.

Mulan: WHAT YOU DID WAS UNFORGIVABLE.

Mushu: BUT YOU AND SHANG ARE SO DIFFERENT.

Mulan: WAIT A SECOND. NOT AS DIFFERENT AS I THOUGHT. OH! ALL THOSE PROBLEMS -- THEY WEREN'T US. THEY WERE YOU!

Mushu: OH.

Mulan: OH, I'VE GOT TO TALK TO SHANG, TELL HIM I LOVE HIM. HYAH!

Mushu: MULAN, I-I'LL MAKE IT UP TO YOU. I PROMISE!

Mulan: FORGET IT! YOU'VE HELPED ENOUGH.

Mushu: OH!

Mulan: SHANG! SHANG! AH! IT'S AN AMBUSH! [ NEIGHS ] CLOSE RANKS! SAVE THE PRINCESSES! RUN! RUN! YOU TWO, GET THE GOLD! COME ON.

YOU TWO, COME WITH ME.

I GOT 'EM! SHANG, I'VE GOT YOUR BACK. TAKE MY HAND! OH! UGH! THE PRINCESSES! HOW DARE YOU TOUCH ME! IT WON'T BUDGE! Man: THEN TAKE THE WHOLE PACKAGE! NO! GET YOUR HANDS OFF HER! OH! OH! HELP! NO! MEI! YAO! HOLD THEM OFF! LET'S GO! HELP ME! RUN! MEI! YAO! OH! OH! OH! OH! COME ON! [ BOTH GASP ] OH! OH! OH! OH! AAAH! AAAH! OH! [ GROANS ] LET'S GET OUT OF HERE! [ GASPING ] AAAH! AAAH! OH! SHANG, HANG ON.

IT WON'T HOLD US BOTH.

IT WILL. IT WILL, SHANG. UH! MULAN...

I'M SORRY.

PLEASE! SHANG! SHANG! [ CRYING ] [ MOURNFUL MUSIC PLAYS ] [ THUNDER CRASHES ] SHANG! [ SOBBING ] [ SLOW FLUTE MUSIC PLAYS ] FA MULAN, WE'RE READY TO GO THROUGH WITH THE WEDDING.

NO.

YOUR ORDERS ARE TO TAKE CARE OF EACH OTHER.

BUT...

LOSING SHANG WILL NOT BE MEANINGLESS.

NO MATTER WHAT IT TAKES, I'M FINISHING THIS MISSION.

[ SNORTING ] [ SNIFFING ] [ SNORTS ] [ SNIFFING ] [ NEIGHS ] [ COUGHING ] [ PANTING ] [ NICKERS ] GOOD HORSE.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, THEY ARE GONE? THERE WAS AN ACCIDENT, LORD CHIN.

THE ROYAL CARRIAGE FELL INTO THE RIVER AND WAS DESTROYED.

OH.

A GRAVE LOSS.

[ CLEARS THROAT ] HMM? MNH-MNH.

MNH-MNH.

MNH-MNH.

MNH-MNH.

BUT -- BUT IT DOES NOT ALTER MY AGREEMENT WITH THE EMPEROR! AND UNLESS IT IS HONORED, I WILL SANCTION NO ALLIANCE WITH THE MIDDLE KINGDOM! A MARRIAGE WAS PROMISED! AND A MARRIAGE THERE WILL BE.

[ ALL GASP ] HMM? HMM? HMM? HMM? I WOULD BE HONORED TO WED A PRINCE OF QUI GONG.

YOU? MY LORD, FA MULAN -- THE HERO OF CHINA.

OH, A JEWEL IN YOUR CROWN -- FAR MORE DEAR THAN THREE MERE PRINCESSES.

MM-HMM.

MM-HMM.

MM-HMM.

MMM.

THIS IS NOT WHAT WAS AGREED! HOWEVER, THE GOLDEN DRAGON OF UNITY SMILES UPON YOU TODAY.

AND IN VIEW OF THE TRAGEDY, I WILL ACCEPT YOUR OFFER.

YOU WILL MAKE A FINE BRIDE FOR MY ELDEST SON, PRINCE JEEKI.

[ GONG CRASHES ] [ GASPS ] [ LAUGHS NERVOUSLY ] THIS IS HER?! SHE'S SO OLD! [ GROANS ] Yao: MULAN SAID SHE WAS GOING TO FINISH THE MISSION NO MATTER WHAT. BUT HOW CAN SHE WITHOUT US? Shang: BY TAKING YOUR PLACE. [ ALL GASP ] Ling: SHANG'S ALIVE! YAHOO! YAY! YAHOO! [ NEIGHS ] [ LAUGHTER ] MULAN WAS RIGHT.

NO ONE SHOULD MARRY SOMEONE THEY DON'T LOVE.

I'M GOING TO QUI GONG.

WE'RE GOING WITH YOU.

NO, YOU'RE NOT. STAY HERE.

[ NEIGHS ] HMM...WOULD YOU SAY THAT WAS AN ORDER? I WOULD SAY IT WAS A FRIENDLY SUGGESTION.

LET'S GO! [ CHEERING ] LOOKS LIKE WE WON'T BE A TEAM AFTER ALL, MUSHU.

OH, MULAN...

I WOULD GIVE UP A THOUSAND PEDESTALS IF I COULD STOP THIS.

[ SLOW MUSIC PLAYS ] I DOUBT EVEN THE GOLDEN DRAGON OF UNITY COULD STOP THIS NOW.

GOODBYE, MUSHU.

[ CROWD MURMURING ] [ HUMMING ] [ GASPS, GRUNTS ] MY PEOPLE...

THE GOLDEN DRAGON OF UNITY, WHO GUIDES US IN ALL WE DO, TODAY SANCTIFIES A UNION THAT WILL BE A BLESSING FOR ALL OF QUI GONG.

AAH! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] HUH? [ CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY ] [ SQUEAKS ] OF COURSE I WANT TO STOP IT.

BUT WHAT CAN ONE ITTY-BITTY DRAGON DO? WITH THE TYING OF THIS SASH, WE SHALL UNITE NOT ONLY TWO LIVES BUT TWO KINGDOMS.

AAH! IT'S GENERAL LI SHANG! HE'S ALIVE! [ GASPS ] [ HORSE WHINNIES ] [ SQUEAKING ] WHOO-HOO! YEAH! SHANG TO THE RESCUE! LUCKY FOR LORD CHIN, 'CAUSE I WAS ABOUT TO WHIP HIS BUTT.

OH, YOU'RE ALIVE! I COULDN'T LET YOU GET MARRIED WITHOUT ME.

GENERAL! THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS! YOU WILL LEAVE AT ONCE! I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE.

[ GASPS ] What are you doing? I don't know. I'm winging it.

HOW DARE YOU TRAMPLE UPON THIS SACRED CEREMONY? OH, MY GOSH! HE'S GONNA LOWER THE HAMMER ON SHANG! WHERE IS THE DANG DRAGON OF UNITY WHEN YOU NEED HIM? [ SQUEAKING ] OH, DON'T BOTHER ME NOW, CRI-KEE, I -- [ GASPS ] I HAVE AN IDEA! MY LORD, I LOVE MULAN, AND I DON'T CARE WHAT THE RULES SAY.

IF SHE'LL HAVE ME, I INTEND TO MARRY HER RIGHT HERE...

RIGHT NOW.

INSOLENT DOG! SEIZE HIM! SHANG! MULAN! [ INDISTINCT SHOUTING ] Mushu: YO! WHAT'S WITH ALL THIS DRAMA? [ CROWD GASPING ] THE GOLDEN DRAGON OF UNITY -- HE LIVES! MUSHU? [ GASPS, GRUNTS ] [ GONG CRASHES, CROWD MURMURING ] OH, YOU DANG RIGHT I LIVE! SO YOU BEST DROP YOUR DUMPLING-EATING BEHIND ON DOWN AND TELL ME WHY WE AIN'T BUSTING OUT THE VOWS ALREADY, HUH? BUT -- BUT -- BUT, YOUR GREATNESS, GENERAL LI SHANG IS NOT A SON OF QUI GONG.

SILENCE! [ SCREAMING ] I AM THE GOLDEN DRAGON OF UNITY, AND I DECIDE WHOM TO UNIFY. MY ALL-SEEING EYE HAS PEERED INTO THE VERY HEART OF CHINA, AND I'VE NEVER SEEN TWO PEOPLE MORE RIGHT FOR ONE ANOTHER THAN THIS LOVELY COUPLE RIGHT HERE... MULAN AND SHANG. GIVE IT UP FOR THEM, WOULD YOU, PLEASE? [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] NOW I COMMAND YOU TO PROCEED AT ONCE! YES, YOUR GREATNESS. AS YOU COMMAND.

NOW, LET'S GET DOWN TO BUSINESS. MULAN, DO YOU LOVE SHANG? OF COURSE YOU DO.

SHANG, DO YOU LOVE MULAN? YES, VERY MUCH. MOVING ON... BY THE POWER VESTED IN ME, BY ME, I HEREBY PRONOUNCE YOU HUSBAND AND WIFE.

YOU GOT ANYTHING TO SAY, LORD DOUBLE CHIN? [ SCREAMING ] YES -- UH, I MEAN, NO.

I-I MEAN... WHATEVER YOU SAY.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] [ LAUGHING ] AND FURTHERMORE, I HEREBY DECREE THAT THE PRINCESSES OF THE MIDDLE KINGDOM, WHEREVER THEY MAY BE, ARE RELEASED FROM THEIR VOW AND MAY MARRY WHOM-SO-EVER THEY PLEASE... AND WHO PLEASES THEM -- THAT'S VERY IMPORTANT.

[ SQUEAKS ] HONEY-PIE! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] [ SQUEAKS ] [ FIREWORKS WHISTLING ] [ SIGHS ] [ SNIFFLES ] [ SIGHS ] I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M BACK ON WAKE-UP DUTY.

WELL, MULAN IS HAPPY.

AND IF SHE'S HAPPY, I'M HAPPY.

[ SQUEAKS ] WELL, THANK YOU, CRI-KEE.

I DID DO GOOD, DIDN'T I? Head Ancestor: BETTER GET YOUR REST, MUSHU. I HAVE A YOGA SESSION AT DAWN, AND I DON'T WANT TO BE LATE FOR MY GREETINGS TO THE SUN.

AND DON'T FORGET -- I LIKE TO BE AWAKENED FROM MY BEAUTY SLEEP WITH A NICE, LONG FOOT MASSAGE.

[ GAGS ] I THINK I'M GONNA BE SICK.

[ LAUGHTER ] [ ALL GASP ] SHANG, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? WATCH AND SEE.

WHAT IS HE DOING? IT CAN'T BE! HE'S -- HE'S COMBINING THE FAMILY TEMPLES! OH! Mushu: UH, EXCUSE ME. UH, WHAT DOES THAT MEAN, EXACTLY -- YOU KNOW, FOR ME? IT -- IT MEANS...

[ WHIMPERING ] YEAH, WHAT? WHAT? IT MEANS WHAT? UNFORTUNATELY, YOU GET TO KEEP YOUR PEDESTAL. I AM BACK! [ DINGING ] YES! OOPS.
 * Mushu: OH, YEAH! I'M BACK, BABY!

SO THIS IS THE FAMOUS MUSHU.

MM-HMM.

SOMEHOW I PICTURED YOU...

BIGGER.

SAY WHAT? YOU -- YOU TOLD HIM ABOUT ME? ABOUT US?

[ LAUGHS ] I HAVE NO SECRETS FROM MY HUSBAND, MUSHU. I TOLD HIM EVERYTHING.

[ GULPS ] EVERYTHING? EVERYTHING? THAT'S RIGHT, GREAT GOLDEN DRAGON OF UNITY.

[ CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY ] I STILL DON'T GET IT.

WHAT DOES COMBINING OUR TEMPLES DO? IT GIVES ME BACK MY PEDESTAL.

OH...WAIT, BUT CAN YOU DO THIS? AREN'T THERE RULES? OF COURSE, RIGHT NEXT TO THE RULES ABOUT DRESSING UP LIKE A MAN AND JOINING THE ARMY.

[ LAUGHTER ] WELL, WHAT DO YOU KNOW? THIS THING JUST MIGHT WORK OUT AFTER ALL.

[ BOTH CHUCKLE ] HEY, YO, WHERE'S MY MASSEUSE?! SAVING CHINA GIVES ME KNOTS LIKE YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE! OH! AND WHAT ABOUT MY PEDICURE? LET'S GET JAMMING ON THE TOE JAM, PEOPLE.

AND SOMEBODY HEAT UP SOME OIL.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE GONNA DO WITH IT YET, BUT IT'S GONNA BE GOOD.

DOES A HERO DRAGON DESERVE ANYTHING LESS? DRAW MY BATH! WARM MY TOWELS! LET THE PAMPERING BEGIN! [ Driving rock beat ] ♪ I WANT TO BE LIKE OTHER GIRLS ♪ ♪ I WANT TO SEE WHAT OTHER GIRLS SEE ♪ ♪ JUST TO BE FREE LIKE OTHER GIRLS ♪ ♪ GET TO BE ♪ ♪ NA NA-NA, NA NA NA ♪ ♪ NA NA-NA, NA NA NA ♪ ♪ NA NA-NA ♪ ♪ WHO-O-A ♪ ♪ TO WEAR MY OLD JEANS ♪ ♪ TO EAT A WHOLE CAKE ♪ ♪ FEEL THE SUN ON MY FEET ♪ ♪ BE QUIET ♪ ♪ BE CRAZY ♪ ♪ BE ANYTHING I WANT TO BE ♪ ♪ DANCE AROUND IN MY UNDERWEAR ♪ ♪ TO WALK BY MYSELF ♪ ♪ DO NOTHING ALL DAY ♪ ♪ TO EAT A WHOLE CAKE ♪ ♪ BE CRANKY, WITH FROSTING ♪ ♪ NO CAMERAS, NO PRESSURES ♪ ♪ NO PHONIES, NO HAIR GEL ♪ ♪ NO PEOPLE WHO THINK THAT ♪ ♪ THEY KNOW ME BUT DON'T ♪ ♪ NO PLATFORM SHOES ♪ ♪ I WANT TO BE LIKE OTHER GIRLS ♪ ♪ I WANT TO SEE WHAT OTHER GIRLS SEE ♪ ♪ JUST TO BE FREE LIKE OTHER GIRLS ♪ ♪ WHOA, WHOA ♪ ♪ I WANT TO BE LIKE OTHER GIRLS ♪ ♪ I WANT TO SEE WHAT OTHER GIRLS SEE ♪ ♪ JUST TO BE FREE LIKE OTHER GIRLS ♪ ♪ GET TO BE ♪ ♪ NA NA-NA, NA NA NA ♪ ♪ NA NA NA ♪ ♪ NA NA-NA, NA NA NA ♪ ♪ NA NA-NA ♪ ♪ WHO-O-A ♪ ♪ TO STAY IN ONE PLACE ♪ ♪ TO SLEEP UNTIL 3:00 ♪ ♪ TO MEET A NICE GUY ♪ ♪ WHO LIKES ME FOR ME ♪ ♪ NO CAMERAS, NO PRESSURES ♪ ♪ NO PHONIES, NO HAIR GEL ♪ ♪ NO PEOPLE WHO THINK THAT ♪ ♪ THEY KNOW ME BUT DON'T ♪ ♪ NO PLATFORM SHOES ♪ ♪ I WANT TO BE LIKE OTHER GIRLS ♪ ♪ I WANT TO SEE WHAT OTHER GIRLS SEE ♪ ♪ JUST TO BE FREE LIKE OTHER GIRLS ♪ ♪ I WANT TO BE LIKE OTHER GIRLS ♪ ♪ I WANT TO SEE WHAT OTHER GIRLS SEE ♪ ♪ JUST TO BE FREE LIKE OTHER GIRLS ♪ ♪ WHOA, WHOA ♪ ♪ I WANT TO BE LIKE OTHER GIRLS ♪ ♪ I WANT TO SEE WHAT OTHER GIRLS SEE ♪ ♪ JUST TO BE FREE LIKE OTHER GIRLS ♪ ♪ JUST TO BE FREE LIKE OTHER GIRLS ♪ ♪ GET TO BE ♪ [ HAYLEY WESTENRA'S "HERE BESIDE ME" PLAYS ] ♪ I'LL SHOW YOU WORLDS YOU'VE NEVER SEEN ♪ ♪ THE SUN AND MOON AND SHADOWS ♪ ♪ THE RAINBOW'S HEART, THE MOUNTAIN STREAM ♪ ♪ THE SUMMER'S CLOUDS ♪ ♪ AND THE WINTER'S DREAMS ♪ ♪ I'LL PLAY YOU SOUNDS YOU'VE NEVER HEARD ♪ ♪ THE WATERFALL, THE WILLOW ♪ ♪ THE THUNDER OF THE HUMMINGBIRD ♪ ♪ THE WHISPER OF THE SNOW ♪ ♪ WHAT IF YOU NEVER KNOW HOW MUCH YOU CARE ♪ ♪ TILL YOU ARE PARTED BY A STORMY SEA? ♪ ♪ HOW COULD I LET YOU GO? ♪ ♪ HOW COULD I BEAR ♪ ♪ MY LIFE WITHOUT YOU HERE WITH ME? ♪ ♪ THE WORLD'S A DOOR THAT'S OPEN WIDE ♪ ♪ BECAUSE YOU'RE HERE BESIDE ME ♪ ♪ AND WITH THE MOON AND SUN TO GUIDE ME ♪ ♪ NOW MY HEART CAN FLY ♪ ♪ NOW OUR HEARTS ♪ ♪ CAN BE ♪ ♪ FREE ♪