Schemer and the Elevator (a 'Shining Time Station' and 'The Simpsons' crossover parody)

Schemer: "I push the button! I push it! I push it again! I push it again and again and again and again!"

Officer Eddie: "Hey, young man, that elevator is not a play toy."

Schemer: "Outta my way, joker, I got some buttons to push, and nobody's gonna stop me!"

(Just as the elevator reaches the 1st floor, Dan and Becky are onboard the elevator, they are both dizzy and Dan's face turns pale green with motion sickness, and Becky is wearing a new $27 t-shirt she just bought.)

Dan: "If i'd have known the elevator would've been malfunctioning today, I wouldn't have eaten that 2nd mushroom swiss burger."

Becky: "Barf all over my new t-shirt, and you're paying for the dry cleaning."

Dan: "Oh no, not that crazy man again."

Becky: "No wonder this thing was bouncing us around like popcorn in a microwave."

Schemer: "Hey, children, clear the way, this elevator's as good as mine."

Becky: "No it's not, It's the shopping mall's, all of the customers who wanna buy stuff from this shopping mall need to use this to get to and from their department stores, didn't you notice the t-shirt I just bought? it cost me $27.00, and it's not worth every single penny if you make queasy little boy over there barf all over it."

Schemer: "My elevator, not your elevator, my elevator, mot your elevator, mine!"

Becky: "Give it a rest, Schemer, you're not 5 and 1/2 anymore, you're 49-years-old right now, and it's time you began acting like a grown man, not a kindergartener, you're embarrassing everybody, including your own team mates, what would Stacy say if she saw you throwing a tantrum like a kindergartener and being extremely rude to the other customers?"

Schemer: "My turn, not your turn, I push the buttons!"

Becky: "It's just not worth our while to wait for him to learn his lesson, come on, Dan, let's get outta here, if he's gonna use that elevator, I'd rather keep this t-shirt clean."

Dan: "You know, Becky, I'd be just fine if I had some antacid, or even a trip to the little men's room."