Family Guy Reboot 2022

Transcript
[Cheery instrumental music] Marcia: Mom, Dad, I found cigarettes in Greg's jacket. Mike: Greg, were you smoking cigarettes? Greg: No, Dad. Mike: He's lying. There's no doubt about that. Greg, I'm afraid your punishment will be four hours in the snakepit. That'll give you time to think about what you did. Greg: Aw Man! Marcia: That'll teach him. Jan, Mike: I'm afraid you've earned a day in the fire chamber... for tattling on your brother. Lois: Ah Smoking. How does a boy like that go so wrong? Peter: Well They live in a crummy neighborhood. Brain: The Bradys? Peter: Oh Hell Yeah. They got robbers, thugs, drug dealers. You name it. Juby Neutron: You folks want some pancakes? Peter: No, thank you. See, that's the worst we got is Jemima's Witnesses. Stewie: Excellent! The mind-control device is nearing completion! Lois: Stewie, I said no toys at the table. Damn you, vile woman! You've impeded my work since the day I escaped from your wretched womb. Chris: Stewie. When you were born... the doctor said you were the happiest looking baby he'd ever seen. Stewie: But, of course. That was my victory day. The fruition of my deeply-laid plans... to escape from that cursed ovarian bastille! Return the device, woman! No toys, Stewie. Stewie: Very well, then. Mark my words, when you least expect it, your uppance will come! [Suspenseful instrumental music] Mom, can I turn the heat up? Don't touch the thermostat, Meg. Your father gets upset. Come on. This thing goes up to 90. Who touched the thermostat? God, how does he always know? Brain implant, Meg. Every father's got one. Peter: Tells you when the kids mess with the dial. Woody: My thing went off! Your thermostat okay? Peter: Yeah, it's all right. Patrick Star: Hey, That's my kid over here? Woody: Forget it! False alarm! Brian: Woah Ass ahoy. Peter, it's 7:00 and you've still got your pants on. What's the occasion? Peter: He's going to a stag party. Lois, I work hard all week to provide for this family. I am the man of the house. As the man, I order you to give me permission to go to this party. Look, at least promise me you won't drink. Alcohol always leads to trouble. Come on. You're worrying about nothing. Brian: Um, Remember when you got drunk off the Communion wine at church?