The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975)/Dora the Disaster

Cast (Version 1 by SunsetShimmerFan) (Do not delete, edit, or add any characters)
Columbia as Dora

Magenta as Boots

Dr. Frank N Furter as Swiper

Eddie as Diego

The Transylvanians as The Fiesta Trio

Riff Raff as the Grim Reaper

Script (Version 1 by SunsetShimmerFan) (Do not delete, edit, or add any characters)
(Columbia and Magenta are climbing up a Mount Everest-like mountain in a strong blizzard.)

Columbia: My name is Columbia, and I fear this mountain will be my grave.

(Columbia and Magenta come across a snowman in their path.)

Magenta: A snowman? I love snowmen!

Columbia: Is there anything you don’t love, Boots?

Magenta (thinking): Tell her, man. Tell her her hair looks like Javier Bardem in No Country for Old Men. This is your chance, Magenta. Don’t chicken out. (to Columbia): Nope! (thinking): You idiot.

(Columbia and Magenta walk on, passing the snowman. His black eyes suddenly pop off, and he collapses, and is in fact Dr. Frank N Furter. Frank proceeds to swipe something from Magenta, but Columbia quickly sees him.)

Columbia: Frankie, no swiping! Frankie, no swiping! Frankie, no swiping!

Frank N Furter: Uh, but Columbia, I’m dying! I have severe altitude sickness!

Columbia (pulls down her scarf to reveal her face a toothy grin and points to it): See this face?

Frank N Furter: Y-Yes?

Columbia: This is my “not giving a [BEEP] face!"

(Columbia pulls up her scarf, and the two continue on, leaving Frank behind.)

(Columbia comes upon two different paths with a sign with two arrows. One arrow says “Easy” and the other says “Hard”. The “Easy” arrow points to a wide path around a large drop. The “Hard” arrow points to a very narrow bridge made of ice going right over the drop.)

Columbia (to the viewers): Which way should I go?

(The computer mouse arrow appears and clicks on the “Hard” arrow, and the bridge path and the sign light up in green.)

Columbia: Right! Good choice!

(She proceeds to go towards the “Easy” way, but the same arrow prevents her from going, demanding her to go down the “Hard” way.)

Columbia: Huh? No, I’m pretty sure you said this way. (points to the “Easy” path)

(The arrow clicks on her from behind, pushing her towards the bridge.)

Columbia: Oh, you didn’t?

(The arrow clicks on her again, pushing closer to the bridge.)

Columbia: Well, maybe in just this one instance, I could ignore your advice?

(The arrow clicks on her again.)

Columbia: Fine!

(Columbia carefully takes one step onto the icy bridge, but it collapses and she falls down with it, and she climbs back up.)

Columbia: Here’s another choice for you: guess which finger? (holding up her gloved hand) I hope you guessed the one that means "[BEEP] you!"

(Columbia and Magenta make it across the drop via a zip line. Magenta climbs onto the other side when Eddie appears on the opposite one.)

Eddie: Columbia! Magenta!

Columbia: Eddie!

Eddie: I’m coming, too!

(Eddie jumps and clings onto the rope halfway between the two sides. The pole that holds one side of the rope suddenly begins to break off due to his weight.)

Eddie: Wh-what was that?

(The pole starts to break off a bit more.)

Eddie: Columbia!

Columbia: Where is your safety harness?

(Frank appears on the other side of the drop and has apparently swiped Eddie’s harness.)

Frank N Furter: Payback’s a witch.

Eddie: Help!

Columbia: I’m coming, Eddie!

(A condor lands onto the rope right near him.)

Eddie: I rescued some condors once! Are you here to return the favor?

(The condor pecks several times onto his right hand, causing him to lose his grip.)

Eddie: Why didn’t we learn from the Crocodile Hunter? Columbia!

(Eddie’s left hand finally loses grip and he let goes of the rope, but Columbia manages to quickly grab him just in time.)

Columbia: I can’t…hang…on!

Eddie: It’s okay, Columbia. It’s time for me to go… to Heaven!

(Eddie let goes of Columbia’s hand, and falls to his death.)

Columbia (screaming): EDDDIEEEEEEE!

(Columbia and Magenta finally make it to the top of the mountain.) 

Columbia: We did it!

(Three Transylvanian party guests jump up from nowhere and celebrate with them, but suddenly get totally frozen! Columbia grabs one of the members and eats him, and Magenta gasps in horror.)

Columbia: I’m an explorer. Food is food.

(She grabs another one and eats him as Magenta watches in shock.)

(Columbia and Magenta walk back down the mountain and see Frank right where they left him. Frank is now shivering, and frostbitten all over.)

Frank N Furter (shivering): H-H-Help…m-m-me…

Columbia (whispers): Gotcha something.

(Frank puts a gun in Frank's hand with it pointing to his head. He pulls the trigger twice, but the gun just clicks.)

Frank N Furter (whispers): You witch!

(Columbia pulls her scarf down and smirks at him. She and Magenta walk on, again leaving Frank all alone. He looks off into the distance and sees Riff Raff coming towards him through the blizzard.)

Frank N Furter: R-R-Riff Raff, no r-r-reaping… R-R-Riff Raff, no reaping… Riff Raff—

(Riff Raff walks closer to him.)

Riff Raff: Doink! (He touches him with one finger, and Frank immediately dies as Riff Raff chuckles in happiness.)