The Deputation and Other Stories (RS Mr. Conductor and Friends version)

The Deputation and Other Stories, later re-titled Ghost Boy and Other Stories, is a TV/Thomas parody of the Thomas and Friends UK/AUS video, The Deputation and Other Stories/Ghost Boy and Other Stories. It features ten second season episodes of RS Mr. Conductor the Conductor and Friends narrated by Ringo Starr.

Cast

 * RS Mr. Conductor (from Shining Time Station) as Thomas
 * Edd (from Ed, Edd n Eddy) as Edward
 * Homer (from The Simpsons) as Henry
 * Garfield (from Garfield and Friends) as Gordon
 * Schemer (from Shining Time Station) as James
 * Bart (from The Simpsons) as Percy
 * Grandpa Dave (from Arthur) as Toby
 * Spike (from My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic) as Duck
 * Mario (from Mario) as Donald
 * Luigi (from Mario) as Douglas
 * Tex (from Shining Time Station) as Bill
 * Rex (from Shining Time Station) as Ben
 * Rouge (from Sonic the Hedgehog) as Daisy
 * Roger Baxter (from Littlest Pet Shop (2012)) as BoCo
 * Patty (from The Simpsons) as Annie
 * Selma (from The Simpsons) as Clarabel
 * Lanolin (from Garfield/US Acres) as Henrietta
 * Goombas (from Mario) as Troublesome Trucks
 * Mayor Adam West (from Family Guy) as Sir Topham Hatt
 * Sideshow Bob (from The Simpsons) as The Ffarquhar Statiomaster
 * Sedusa (from The Powerpuff Girls) as The Stationmaster's Wife
 * Ten Cents (from TUGS) as Bertie (does not speak)
 * Budgie (from Budgie the Little Helicopter) as Harold (does not speak)
 * Mr. Nicholas (from Shining Time Station) as Santa Claus/Father Christmas (does not speak)
 * Mr. Burns (from The Simpsons) as Diesel (cameo)
 * Scooby Doo (from Scooby Doo) as Terence (cameo)
 * Sunshine (from TUGS) as Trevor (cameo)
 * Phil (from Rugrats) as Stephen Hatt (cameo)
 * Lil (from Rugrats) as Bridget Hatt (cameo)
 * Eustace (from Courage the Cowardly Dog) as Jeremiah Jobling (cameo)
 * Mrs. Twombly (from Littlest Pet Shop (2012)) as Mrs. Kyndley (cameo)
 * Lazy Luke (from Wacky Races) as Jem Cole (cameo)
 * Reverend Lovejoy (from The Simpsons) as The Vicar of Wellsworth (cameo)
 * Bluenose (from TUGS) as The Policeman (cameo)
 * Ernie the Giant Chicken (from Family Guy) as The Spiteful Breakvan (mentioned)
 * Everyone else as Themselves

Episodes

 * 1) The Deputation
 * 2) RS Mr. Conductor Comes to Breakfast
 * 3) Rouge
 * 4) Bart's Predicament
 * 5) The Mansel
 * 6) Wrong Road
 * 7) Edd's Exploit
 * 8) Ghost Boy
 * 9) Woolly Bear
 * 10) RS Mr. Conductor and the Missing Christmas Tree

The Deputation
Narrator: "Snow came early to TV Land. It was heavier than usual. Most TV Characters hate snow. Mario and Luigi were used to it. Back to back, with a trailer behind them and a shovel for each of them, they set to work. They puffed backwards and forwards, patrolling the paths.

Generally, the snow slipped away easily, but sometimes they found deeper drifts.

Presently, they came to a drift which was larger than most. They charged it, and were just backing for another try, when..."

(Homer whistles)

Luigi: "Lorsh sakes, Mario! It's Homer!

Donna fash yourself, Homer! Wait a while, we'll have you out!"

Narrator: "Homer was very grateful. He saw all was not well. The brother were glum. They told him that Mayor Adam West was returning soon."

Mario and Luigi: "He'll send us back for sure!"

Bart: "It's a shame!"

Narrator: "Said Bart."

Garfield: "A lot of nonsense about a broken signal box."

Narrator: "Grumbled Garfield."

Schemer: "That Ernie the Giant Chicken, too."

Narrator: "Put in Schemer."

Schemer: "Good riddance! That's what I say."

Homer: "They were splendid in the snow."

Narrator: "Added Homer."

Homer: "It isn't fair!"

Narrator: "They all agreed that something must be done, but none knew what.

Bart decided to talk to Edd about it."

Edd: "What you need,"

Narrator: "Said Edd,"

Edd: "Is a deputation."

Narrator: "He explained what that was.

Bart ran back quickly."

Bart: "Edd says we need... a, a disputation!"

Garfield: "Of course."

Narrator: "Said Garfield."

Garfield: "The question is.."

Homer: "What is a... desperation?"

Narrator: "Asked Homer."

Bart: "It's when TV Characters tell Mayor West something's wrong."

Narrator: "Said Bart."

Spike: "Did you say 'Tell Mayor West?'"

Narrator: "Asked Spike thoughtfully.

There was a long silence."

Garfield: "I propose,"

Narrator: "Said Garfield."

Garfield: "That Bart be our... um... disputation."

Bart: "I?"

Narrator: "Squeaked Bart."

Bart: "I can't!"

Homer: "Rubbish, Bart!"

Narrator: "Said Homer."

Homer: "It's easy.

Garfield: "That's settled, then."

Narrator: "Grumbled Garfield.

Poor Bart wished it wasn't."

Mayor Adam West: "Hello, Bart. It's nice to be back."

Narrator: "Bart jumped."

Bart: "Uh, uh, yes sir, yes sir, please sir."

Mayor Adam West: "You look nervous, Bart. What's the matter?"

Bart: "Please sir, uh, they've made me a desperation, sir. To speak to you, sir. I don't like it, sir."

Narrator: "Mayor West pondered."

Mayor Adam West: "Do you mean a deputation, Bart?"

Bart: "Yes, sir, please, sir. It's Mario and Luigi, sir. They say, sir, that if you send them away, sir, well, they'll be killed, sir. That would be dreadful, sir. Uh, please, sir, don't send them away."

Mayor Adam West: "Thank you, Bart. That will do."

Narrator: "Later, Mayor West spoke to the TV Characters."

Mayor Adam West: "I've had a... deputation. I understand your feelings, but I do not approve of interference."

Narrator: "He paused impressively."

Mayor Adam West: "Mario and Luigi, I hear that your work in the snow was good. You shall each have some new clothes."

Narrator: "The brothers were surprised."

Mario and Luigi: "Thank you, sir."

Mayor Adam West: "But your clothes will have your names printed on them. We'll have no more mistakes."

Mario and Luigi: "Thank you, sir. Does this mean that the both of us..."

Narrator: "Mayor West smiled."

Mayor Adam West: "It means..."

Narrator: "But the rest of his speech was drowned in a delighted chorus of cheers and whistles."

(All the TV Characters cheer and whistle)

Narrator: "The brothers were here to stay."

RS Mr. Conductor Comes to Breakfast
Narrator: "RS Mr. Conductor the Conductor has worked his route for many years, and knows it very well."

RS Mr. Conductor's Driver: "You know just where to stop, RS Mr. Conductor."

Narrator: "Laughed his driver."

RS Mr. Conductor's Driver: "You could almost manage it without me."

Narrator: "RS Mr. Conductor had become conceited. He didn't realize his driver was joking.

Later, he boasted to the others."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Driver says I don't need him now."

Bart: "Don't be so daft!"

Narrator: "Snorted Bart."

Grandpa Dave: "I'd never go without my driver."

Narrator: "Said Grandpa Dave, earnestly."

Grandpa Dave: "I'd be frightened."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Puh!"

Narrator: "Boasted RS Mr. Conductor."

RS Mr. Conductor: "I'm not scared!"

Grandpa Dave: "You'd never dare!"

RS Mr. Conductor: "I would then, you'll see."

Narrator: "Next morning, the firelighter came. RS Mr. Conductor drowsed comfortably, and the warmth spread through his body.

Bart and Grandpa Dave were still asleep. RS Mr. Conductor suddenly remembered;"

RS Mr. Conductor: "Silly stick-in-the-muds!"

Narrator: "He chuckled."

RS Mr. Conductor: "I'll show them. Driver said I could manage without him. I'll just go out, then I'll stop and WHEESH! That'll make them jump."

Narrator: "RS Mr. Conductor thought he was being clever. Really, he was only moving because a careless cleaner had meddled with his body. He soon found his mistake. He tried to wheesh, but he couldn't. He tried to stop, but he couldn't. He just kept rolling along. He didn't dare look at what was coming next; there was Sideshow Bob's house. Sideshow Bob was just about to have breakfast."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Horrors!"

Narrator: "Cried RS Mr. Conductor, and shut his eyes."

(CRASH!)

"The house rocked, broken glass tinkled, plaster was everywhere. RS Mr. Conductor had collected a bush on his travels. He peered into the room through its leaves. He couldn't speak.

Sideshow Bob was furious. Sedusa picked up her plate."

Sedusa: "You miserable conductor!"

Narrator: "She scolded."

Sedusa: "Just look what you've done to our breakfast! Now I shall have to cook some more!"

Narrator: "She banged the door.

More plaster fell. This time, it fell on RS Mr. Conductor. RS Mr. Conductor felt depressed.

Workmen propped up the house with strong poles, and laid a path through the garden.

Meanwhile, Mario and Luigi arrived."

Mario and Luigi: "D'n' fess yourself, RS Mr. Conductor, we'll soon have you back on the path!"

Narrator: "They laughed.

Mario and Luigi, working hard, managed to haul RS Mr. Conductor back to safety. Bits of fencing, a bush, and a broken window frame festuned his front, which was badly twisted. The brothers laughed and left him.

RS Mr. Conductor was in disgrace.

There was worse to come."

Mayor Adam West: "You are a very naughty conductor!"

RS Mr. Conductor (muffled): "I know, sir. I'm sorry, sir."

Narrator: "RS Mr. Conductor's voice was muffled behind his bush."

Mayor Adam West: "You must go to the workshop and have your front mended, it will be a long job."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Yes, sir."

Mayor Adam West: "Meanwhile, a bat will do your work."

RS Mr. Conductor: "A B-b-bat, sir?"

Narrator: "RS Mr. Conductor spluttered."

Mayor Adam West: "Yes, RS Mr. Conductor. Bats always stay in their houses until they are wanted. Bats never galavant off to breakfast in sideshow people's houses."

Rouge
Narrator: "Bart and Grandpa Dave were worried. RS Mr. Conductor's recent accident had caused a great deal of trouble, and Mayor Adam West was waiting for them with important news."

Mayor Adam West: "Here,"

Narrator: "He said."

Mayor Adam West: "Is Rouge, the Bat who has come to help while RS Mr. Conductor is... indisposed."

Bart: "Please, sir,"

Narrator: "Asked Bart."

Bart: "Will she go, sir, when RS Mr. Conductor comes back, sir?"

Mayor Adam West: "That depends."

Narrator: "Said Mayor West."

Mayor Adam West: "Meanwhile, however long she stays, I hope you will both make her welcome and comfortable."

Bart and Grandpa Dave "Yes, sir. We'll try, sir."

Narrator: "Said the TV Characters."

Mayor Adam West: "Good. Run along now and show her the shed. She will want to rest after her journey."

Narrator: "Rouge was hard to please. She shuddered at the shed."

Rouge: "This is dreadfully smelly. I'm highly sprung, and anything smelly is bad for my swerves."

Narrator: "Next, they tried the carriage shed."

Rouge: "This is better,"

Narrator: "Said Rouge,"

Rouge: "But whatever is that rubbish?"

Narrator: "The 'rubbish' turned out to be Patty, Selma and Lanolin, who were most offended."

Patty, Selma and Lanolin: "We won't stay here to be insulted!"

Narrator: "They fumed.

Bart and Grandpa Dave had to take them away and spend half the night soothing their hurt feelings.

The TV Characters woke next morning, feeling exhausted. Rouge, on the other hand, felt bright and cheerful."

Rouge: "Oooh! Oooh!"

Narrator: "She tooted, as she came out of the yard and back to the station."

Rouge: "Look at me,"

Narrator: "She purred to the passengers."

Rouge: "I'm the latest bat; highly sprung and right up to date. You won't want RS Mr. Conductor's bumpy old Patty and Selma now."

Narrator: "The passengers waited for Rouge to start, but she didn't.

She saw that a milk churn was about to be handed to her, and was most indignant."

Rouge: "Do they expect me to carry that?"

Rouge's Driver: "Surely,"

Narrator: "Said her driver,"

Rouge's Driver: "You can carry one churn."

Rouge: "I won't!"

Narrator: "Said Rouge."

Rouge: "Bart can do it! He loves messing about with goombas."

Narrator: "She began to shudder violently."

Rouge's Driver: "Nonsense!"

Narrator: "Said her driver."

Rouge's Driver: "Come on now, back down!"

Narrator: "Rouge lurched backwards. She was so cross, that she blew a fuse."

Rouge: "Told you!"

Narrator: "She said, and stopped.

Everyone argued with her, but it was no use."

Rouge: "It's fitter's order."

Narrator: "She said."

Passengers: "What is?"

Rouge: "My fitter's a very nice man. He comes every week, and examines me carefully. 'Rouge', He says, 'Never, never carry. You're highly sprung, and carrying is bad for your swerves.'

So that's how it is!"

Narrator: "Finished Rouge."

Stationmaster: "Stuff and nonsense!"

Narrator: "Said the stationmaster."

Shunter: "I can't understand."

Narrator: "Said the shunter."

Shunter: "Whatever made Mayor West send us such a feeble..."

Rouge: "Feeble? Feeble?!"

Narrator: "Spluttered Rouge."

Rouge: "Let me..."

Passengers: "Stop arguing!"

Narrator: "Grumbled the passengers."

Passengers: "We're late already."

Narrator: "So they took away the churn, and Rouge felt very pleased with herself. She could now enjoy her journey."

Rouge: "That's a good story."

Narrator: "She chuckled."

Rouge: "I'll do just what work I choose, and no more!"

Narrator: "But she said it to herself."

Bart's Predicament
Narrator: "Rouge the Bat's work in the countryside was full of surprises. She was frightened of bulls and cows, and she remained very lazy and stubborn.

One day, Grandpa Dave brought Lanolin to the station where Bart was grumpily shunting."

Grandpa Dave: "Hello, Bart. I see Rouge's left the milk behind again."

Bart: "I'll have to make a special journey with it, I suppose. Anyone would think I'd nothing to do!"

Narrator: "Grumbled Bart."

Grandpa Dave: "Tell you what,"

Narrator: "Replied Grandpa Dave."

Grandpa Dave: "I'll take the milk, you fetch my goombas."

Narrator: "The drivers and stationmaster agreed.

Bart had never been to the quarry before. He began ordering the goombas about."

Bart: "Hurry along!"

Narrator: "He said.

The goombas grumbled to each other."

Goombas: "This is Grandpa Dave's place! Bart's got no right to poke his head in here and push us around."

Narrator: "They whispered and passed the word.

Goombas: "Pay Bart out! Pay Bart out!"

Bart: "Come along,"

Narrator: "Said Bart."

Bart: "No nonsense!"

Goombas: "We'll give him nonsense!"

Narrator: "Giggled the goombas.

But they followed so quietly, that Bart thought they were under control.

Suddenly, they saw a notice ahead;

All TV Characters stop to pin down brakes."

Bart: "Peep peep! Brakes, guard, please!"

Narrator: "But before he could check them, the goombas surged forward."

Goombas: "On! On!"

Narrator: "They cried."

Bart: "Help! Help!"

Narrator: "Whistled Bart.

The man on duty rushed to warn traffic with his red flag, but was too late to switch Bart to the runaway siding.

Frantically trying to grip the road, Bart slid into the yard."

Bart: "Peep peep! Look out!"

(CRASH!)

Narrator: "Bart's driver and fireman had jumped clear, but Bart was stranded.

Next day, Mayor Adam West arrived. Grandpa Dave and Rouge had helped to clear the wreckage, but Bart remained on his perch of goombas."

Mayor Adam West: "We must now try,"

Narrator: "Said Mayor West,"

Mayor Adam West: "To run the road with Grandpa Dave and a bat. You have put us in an awkward predicament, Bart."

Bart: "I am sorry, sir."

Narrator: "Said Bart."

Mayor Adam West: "You can stay there til we are ready. Perhaps it will teach you to be careful with goombas."

Narrator: "Bart sighed. The goomba groaned beneath his feet. He quite understood about awkward predicaments.

Mayor West spoke severely to Rouge, too."

Mayor Adam West: "My TV Characters work hard. I send lazy TV Characters away."

Narrator: "Rogue was ashamed."

Mayor Adam West: "However, Grandpa Dave says you worked hard after Bart's accident, so you shall have another chance."

Rouge: "Thank you, sir."

Narrator: "Said Rouge."

Rouge: "I will work hard. Grandpa Dave says he'll help me."

Mayor Adam West: "Excellent. What Grandpa Dave doesn't know about road problems isn't worth knowing. Our Grandpa Dave's an experienced man."

Narrator: "Next day, RS Mr. Conductor came back, and Bart was sent to be mended.

Patty and Selma were delighted to see RS Mr. Conductor again, and he took them for a run at once.

All are now friends, and Grandpa Dave has taught Rouge a great deal. She shooed a cow off the line the other day all by herself. That shows you, doesn't it?"

The Mansel
Narrator: "Tex and Rex are cowboy twins. Each has a hat, a red outfit and white shoes. Their goombas help them deliver china clay. It is needed for pottery, paper, paint and many other things.

The twins are now kept busy, taking the goombas for TV Characters on the main line, and for ships in the harbor.

One morning, they arranged some goombas, and went away for more.

They returned to find them all gone. The twins were most surprised.

Their drivers examined a footprint."

Drivers: "That's a man."

Narrator: "They said."

Tex: "It's a what-ll?"

Narrator: "Asked Tex."

Rex: "A mansel, I think."

Narrator: "Replied Rex."

Rex: "There's a notice about them in our jukebox."

Tex: "Coughs and sneezes spread mansels."

Rex: "You had a cough in your head yesterday. It's your fault the mansel came."

Tex: "It isn't!"

Rex: "It is!"

Drivers: "Stop arguing, you two."

Narrator: "Laughed their drivers."

Drivers: "Let's go and rescue our goombas."

Narrator: "Tex and Rex were horrified."

Tex and Rex: "But the mansel will magic us away, like the goombas!"

Drivers: "He won't magic us."

Narrator: "Replied their drivers."

Drivers: "We'll more likely magic him. Listen, he doesn't know your twins, so we'll take away your names and numbers, and then this is what we'll do."

Narrator: "Puffing hard, the twins set off on their journey to find the man.

They were looking forward to playing tricks on him.

Creeping into the yard, they found the man on a siding with the missing goombas. Rex hid behind, but Tex went boldly alongside.

The man looked up."

Roger Baxter: "Do you mind?"

Tex: "Yes."

Narrator: "Said Tex."

Tex: "I do. I want my goombas, please."

Roger Baxter: "These are mine."

Narrator: "Said the man."

Roger Baxter: "Go away!"

Narrator: "Tex pretended to be frightened."

Tex: "You're a big bully."

Narrator: "He whimpered."

Tex: "You'll be sorry!"

Narrator: "He ran back and hid behind the goombas on the other side.

Rex now came forward."

Rex: "Goomba stealer!"

Narrator: "Hissed Rex. He ran away, too. Tex took his place.

This went on and on until the man's eyes nearly popped out."

Roger Baxter: "Stop! You're making me giddy!"

Narrator: "The two cowboys gazed at him."

Roger Baxter: "Are there two of you?"

Tex and Rex: "Yes, we're twins."

Roger Baxter: "I might have known it!"

Narrator: "Just then, Edd bustled up."

Edd: "Tex and Rex, why are you playing here?"

Tex: "We're not playing!"

Narrator: "Protested Tex."

Rex: "We're rescuing our goombas."

Narrator: "Squeaked Rex."

Rex: "Even you don't take our goombas without asking, but this mansel did."

Edd: "There's no cause to be rude."

Narrator: "Said Edd severely."

Edd: "This man is the father of a pet shop helper."

Narrator: "The twins were abashed."

Tex: "We're sorry, Mr., uh..."

Roger Baxter: "Never mind."

Narrator: "The man smiled."

Roger Baxter: "Call me Roger. I'm sorry I didn't understand about the goombas."

Edd: "That's all right, then."

Narrator: "Said Edd."

Edd: "Now off you go, Tex and Rex. Fetch Roger's goombas, then you can take this lot.

There's no real harm in them,"

Narrator: "He said to Roger."

Edd: "But they're maddening at times."

Narrator: "Roger chuckled."

Roger Baxter: "Maddening,"

Narrator: "He said."

Roger Baxter: "Is the word."

Wrong Road
Narrator: "RS Mr. Conductor's route is important and so is Edd's. But their paths and bridges are not so strong as those on the main road. Mayor Adam West does not allow the heavier TV Characters like Garfield to walk on them.

But one day, the way Garfield was talking, you would have thought Mayor West had given this order for quite another reason."

Garfield: "It's not fair!"

Narrator: "Grumbled Garfield."

Edd: "What isn't fair?"

Narrator: "Ask Edd."

Garfield: "Letting men do cat work."

Edd: "Never mind, Garfield. I'm sure Roger Baxter will let you take his goombas sometimes."

Narrator: "Garfield spluttered."

Garfield: "I won't take Roger's dirty goombas! I won't walk on branch roads!"

Edd: "Why not? It would be a nice change."

Garfield: "Mayor West would never approve."

Narrator: "Huffed Garfield."

Garfield: "Branch roads are vulgar!"

Narrator: "Garfield puffed away. Edd chuckled and followed him to the train station.

Every evening the two TV Characters took two sets of fast flowers from the station. Garfield always leaves first with an express for the main road. Edd follows five minutes later with his flowers for the branch road. Usually everything runs like clockwork. But tonight, there was trouble. A lady in a green floppy hat was saying goodbye to a friend. It was nearly time for Garfield to start. The fireman looked back towards the back of the line and saw something green waving."

Garfield's Fireman: "Right away, mate!"

Narrator: "He thought the guard had waved his flag. Garfield started. Leaving luggage, his passengers and the guard all standing on the platform. Everyone was very surprised and cross.

To make matters worse, by the time Garfield had been stopped and brought back, Edd was already late with his flowers. So now, he set off first.

But the signalman at the junction wasn't told about the change. By mistake, he sent Edd along the main road. Garfield was sent along the branch, and arrived cold and cross on one of the sidings near the harbor.

Next morning, Tex and Rex peeped into the yard. There were no goombas for them but they didn't mind that. Teasing Garfield would be much better fun."

Tex: "What's that?"

Narrator: "Asked Tex."

Rex: "Shh!"

Narrator: "Whispered Rex."

Rex: "It's Garfield."

Tex: "It looks like Garfield, but it can't be. Garfield never comes on the branch road. He thinks them vulgar."

Narrator: "Garfield pretend he hadn't heard."

Rex: If it isn't Garfield,"

Narrator: "Said Rex."

Rex: "It's just a pile of old iron."

Tex: "Which we better take to the scrapyard."

Rex: "No Tex. This lot's useless for scrap. We'll take it to the harbor and dumb it in the sea."

Narrator: "Garfield was alarmed."

Garfield: "I am Garfield! Stop! Stop!"

Narrator: "When Roger suddenly arrived, Garfield thought him the most beautiful site he'd ever seen."

Garfield: "Roger, my dear man, save me."

Narrator: "Roger quickly sized up the situation and threatened to take away the goombas he brought for Tex and Rex. This made the twins behave at once. Garfield thought he was wonderful."

Garfield: "Those little demons. How do you do it?"

Roger Baxter: "Ah, well."

Narrator: "Said Roger."

Roger Baxter: "It's just a knack."

Narrator: "Garfield still believes that Roger saved his life. But we know the twins were only teasing. Don't we?"

Edd's Exploit
Narrator: "Ten Cents the Tug was giving some visitors a tour of TV Land.

It was their last afternoon, and Edd was preparing to take them to meet Tex and Rex. He found it hard to start the heavy flowers."

Homer: "Did you see him straining?"

Narrator: "Asked Homer."

Schemer: "Positively painful."

Narrator: "Remarked Schemer."

Garfield: "Just pathetic!"

Narrator: "Grunted Garfield."

Garfield: "He should give up and be preserved before it's too late."

Spike: "Shut up!"

Narrator: "Burst out Spike."

Spike: "You're all jealous. Edd's better than any of you."

Roger Baxter: "You're right, Spike."

Narrator: "Said Roger."

Roger Baxter: "Edd's old, but he'll surprise us all."

Edd: "I've done it! We're off! I've done it! We're off!"

Narrator: "Said Edd, as he finally puffed out of the station.

Tex and Rex were delighted to see the visitors. They loved being photographed. Later, they took the party to the jukebox in a trailer special.

Everyone had a splendid time, and the visitors were most impressed.

Then, Edd took the visitors home.

On the way, the weather changed. Wind and rain buffeted Edd. His sand box failed, and his fireman went in front dropping sand on the road by hand.

Suddenly, Edd's feet slipped fiercely, and with a shrieking crack, something broke. The crew inspected the damage. Repairs took some time."

Edd's Driver: "One of your shoes broke, Edd."

Narrator: "Said his driver."

Edd's Driver: "We've taken your other shoe off. Now you're like an old-fashioned kid. Can you get these people home? They must start back tonight."

Edd: "I'll try, sir."

Narrator: "Promised Edd. Edd puffed and pulled his hardest, but his feet kept slipping and he could not start the heavy flowers. The passengers were anxious. The driver, fireman and guard went along the line making adjustments between the flowers."

Edd's Driver: "We've loosened the couplings, Edd. Now you can pick your flowers up one by one, just as you do with goombas."

Edd: "That'll be much easier."

Narrator: "Said Edd."

Edd: "Come on!"

Narrator: "He puffed, and moved cautiously forward. The first flower moving helped to start the second, and the second helped the third."

Edd: "I've done it! I've done it!"

Narrator: "Puffed Edd."

Edd's Driver: "Steady, boy!"

Narrator: "Warned his driver."

Edd's Driver: "Well done, boy! You've got them! You've got them!"

Narrator: "And he listened happily to Edd's steady beat as he forged slowly but surely ahead.

At last, battered, weary, but unbeaten, Edd steamed in. Homer was waiting for the visitors with the special flowers."

Edd: "Peep! Peep!"

Narrator: "Mayor Adam West angrily pointed to clock, but excited passengers cheered and thanked Edd, his driver and fireman.

Spike and Roger saw to it that Edd was left in peace. Garfield and Schemer remained respectfully silent."

Ghost Boy
Bart: "And every year on a date of the accident, it runs again as a warning to others plunging into the gap, shrieking like a lost soul."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Bart, what are you talking about?"

Bart: "The ghost boy. Driver saw it last night."

RS Mr. Conductor and Grandpa Dave: "Where?"

Narrator: "Asked RS Mr. Conductor and Grandpa Dave."

Bart: "He didn't say. Ooh, it makes my feet wobble to think of it."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Huh!"

Narrator: "Said RS Mr. Conductor."

RS Mr. Conductor: "You're just a silly little boy. I'm not scared!"

Bart: "RS Mr. Conductor didn't believe in your ghost."

Narrator: "Said Bart next morning. His driver laughed."

Bart's Driver: "Neither do I. It was a pretend ghost on television."

Narrator: "Bart was disappointed. That evening, he came back from the harbor.

Bart knew where he was, even in the dark."

Bart: "Crowe's farm crossing. We shan't be long now."

Narrator: "He liked running at night. The path hummed and the light showed green. But a broken cartload of lyme lay ahead. Sam the farmer had just gone for help.

(CRASH!)

Bart broke the cart to smithereens. Lyme flew everywhere. He puffed quickly to the nearest signal box.

Bart's driver explained what had happened."

Signalman: "I'll see to it."

Narrator: "Said the signalman."

Signalman: "But you better clean Bart, or people will think he's a ghost."

Narrator: "Bart chuckled."

Bart: "Do let's pretend I'm a ghost and scare RS Mr. Conductor. That'll teach him to say I'm a silly little boy."

Narrator: "Grandpa Dave promised to help.

RS Mr. Conductor was getting ready for his evening run."

Grandpa Dave: "Bart's had an accident."

Narrator: "Cried Grandpa Dave."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Poor boy."

Narrator: "Said RS Mr. Conductor."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Botheration! That means I'll be late."

Grandpa Dave: "They've cleared the path for you, but there's something worse."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Out with it, Grandpa Dave! I can't wait all evening."

Grandpa Dave: "I've just seen something."

Narrator: "Said Grandpa Dave."

Grandpa Dave: "It looked like Bart's ghost. It said it was, was coming here t-t-t-to warn us."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Huh! Who cares? Don't be frightened, Grandpa Dave. I'll take care of you."

Bart: "Peep, peep! Pip, pip, pip, peep! Let me in. Let me in."

Narrator: "Wailed Bart."

Grandpa Dave: "No, no. Not by the smoke on my chimney chim chim."

Bart: "I'll chuff, and I'll puff, and I'll break your door in."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Oh dear!"

Narrator: "Exclaimed RS Mr. Conductor."

RS Mr. Conductor: "It's getting late. Oh, I have no idea. Oh, I must find Patty and Selma."

Narrator: "It was morning when RS Mr. Conductor returned."

Grandpa Dave: "Where have you been?"

Narrator: "Asked Grandpa Dave."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Ah, well."

Narrator: "Said RS Mr. Conductor."

RS Mr. Conductor: "I knew you'd be sad about Bart and I, uh, I didn't like to intrude. I slept in the goods shed and...

Oh, sorry. Can't stop. Got to see a flower about a conductor."

Narrator: "Bart was not in the worst for his adventure, and was still enjoying himself enormously. He had heard everything."

Bart: "Well, well, well. What do you know about that?"

Grandpa Dave: "Anyone would think,"

Narrator: "Chuckled Grandpa Dave."

Grandpa Dave: "That our RS Mr. Conductor had just seen a ghost."

Woolly Bear
Narrator: "In summer, the gangers cut the long grass along the road, raking it up for heaps to dry in the sun.

At this time of year, Bart stops where they have been cutting. The men give them to the goombas, and he takes them to the station.

Grandpa Dave then takes them to the hills for the farmers to feed their stock."

Bart: "Wheesh!"

Narrator: "Bart gave a ghostly whistle."

Bart: "Don't be frightened, RS Mr. Conductor!"

Narrator: "He laughed."

Bart: "It's only me!"

RS Mr. Conductor: "Your ugly fizz is enough to frighten anyone!"

Narrator: "Said RS Mr. Conductor."

RS Mr. Conductor: "You're like..."

Bart: "Ugly, indeed! I'm..."

RS Mr. Conductor: "A red caterpillar with blue shorts!"

Narrator: "Continued RS Mr. Conductor firmly."

RS Mr. Conductor: "You crawl like one, too."

Bart: "I don't!"

RS Mr. Conductor: "Who's been late every afternoon this week?"

Bart: "It's the hay!"

RS Mr. Conductor: "I can't help that."

Narrator: "Said RS Mr. Conductor."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Time's time, and Mayor Adam West relies on me to keep it! I can't if you crawl about in the hay till' all hours!"

Bart: "'Red caterpillar' indeed!"

Narrator: "Fumed Bart. He set off to collect some hay to take to the harbor."

Bart: "Everyone says I'm handsome, or at least nearly everyone. Anyway, my shorts ares better than RS Mr. Conductor's hats. RS Mr. Conductor says I'm always late."

Narrator: "He grumbled."

Bart: "I'm never late, or at least only a few minutes. What's that to RS Mr. Conductor? He can always catch up time further on."

Narrator: "All the same, he and his driver decided to start home early.

Then came trouble."

(CRASH!)

"A crate of treacle was upset all over Bart.

Bart was cross.

He was still sticky when he puffed away.

The wind was blowing fiercely."

Bart's Driver: "Look at that!"

Narrator: "Exclaimed the driver.

The wind caught the piled hay, tossing it up and over the road. The line climbed here."

Bart's Driver: "Take a run at it, Bart!"

Narrator: "His driver replied.

Bart gathered speed. But the hay made the road slippery, and his feet wouldn't grip. Time after time, he stalled with spinning feet and had to wait till' the path ahead was cleared before he could start again.

Everyone was waiting. RS Mr. Conductor seethed impatiently."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Ten minutes late! I warned him! Passengers will complain, and Mayor West..."

(Bart whistles)

Narrator: "Then, they all saw Bart. They laughed and shouted."

(Passengers laugh)

Bart: "Sorry I'm late!"

Narrator: "Bart panted."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Look what's crawled out of the hay!"

Narrator: "Teased RS Mr. Conductor."

Bart: "What's wrong?"

Narrator: "Asked Bart."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Talk about hairy caterpillars!"

Narrator: "Puffed RS Mr. Conductor."

RS Mr. Conductor: "It's worth being late to have seen you."

Narrator: "When Bart came home, his driver showed him what he looked like in a mirror."

Bart: "Ay caramba! No wonder they all laughed. I'm just like a woolly bear! Please clean me before Grandpa Dave comes."

Narrator: "But it was no good. RS Mr. Conductor told Grandpa Dave all about it.

Instead of talking about sensible things like 'playing ghosts', RS Mr. Conductor and Grandpa Dave made jokes about woolly bear caterpillars, and other creatures which crawl about in hay. They laughed a lot, but Bart thought they were being really silly indeed."

RS Mr. Conductor and the Missing Christmas Tree
Narrator: "It was two days before Christmas. Many children were expected in TV Land. All the TV characters were busy with the final preparations. Mayor Adam West wanted this year's carol party to be an extra special celebration.

Mayor West was now waiting impatiently for RS Mr. Conductor."

Mayor Adam West: "Quickly now,"

Narrator: "He said."

Mayor Adam West: "Our Christmas tree has arrived just in time. I want you to fetch it, RS Mr. Conductor. Spike can look after Patty and Selma until you get back."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Will we be able to sing carols, too?"

Narrator: "Asked RS Mr. Conductor."

Mayor Adam West: "We'll see."

Narrator: "Promised Mayor West."

RS Mr. Conductor: "It would be nice to sing carols again."

Narrator: "Sighed RS Mr. Conductor, as he set off on his important mission.

RS Mr. Conductor collected the tree safely, but large snowdrifts lay ahead."

RS Mr. Conductor: "I mustn't be late."

Narrator: "He thought."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Mayor West is relying on me."

Narrator: "Whistling bravely, RS Mr. Conductor tried to move, but he couldn't. There was worse to come!

Poor RS Mr. Conductor was snowed under!

Meanwhile, the other TV characters waited and waited. They were grumbling about RS Mr. Conductor for being late."

Mayor Adam West: "Silence!"

Narrator: "Said Mayor West."

Mayor Adam West: "RS Mr. Conductor left the works safely, but snow has brought the telephone lines down. We must assume he is stranded."

Narrator: "The TV characters now felt sorry for RS Mr. Conductor, and cold but confident, the plumbers set off to the rescue.

Suddenly, they came to a drift that was deeper than the rest."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Help!"

Mario: "Hush!""

Narrator: "Said Mario."

Mario: "I can hear something."

Luigi: "Probably the wind."

Narrator: "Said Luigi."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Help!"

Mario: "No, listen!"

Narrator: "Insisted Mario."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Over here!"

Mario: "Ach! It's RS Mr. Conductor! Come on, the poor wee conductor must be frozen to the skin in there!"

Narrator: "When the workmen arrived, it took some time to decide how to dig away the heavy drifts of snow. RS Mr. Conductor's driver and fireman, who had taken shelter at a nearby cottage, joined the rescue. At last, RS Mr. Conductor and the precious Christmas tree were freed from the snowdrift.

Then, they set off once more to finish their long journey.

Mayor Adam West greeted them warmly."

Mayor Adam West: "As a reward for all your hard work, you may go and enjoy the carols. Be quick now!"

Narrator: "At the big station, all was soon ready."

Mayor Adam West: "One, two, three!"

Narrator: "Suddenly, like magic, the station was flooded with lights."

Mayor Adam West: "Ladies, gentlemen, and children, I give you three cheers for RS Mr. Conductor and all his friends who have made this occasion possible!"

Narrator: "Suddenly, there was a strange whirring sound. Bart and Grandpa Dave smiled. They knew who it was.

With landing lights shining brightly, Budgie the Little Helicopter touched down gently in the snow, bringing the greatest surprise of all; Mr. Nicholas! Everyone cheered, and the party began.

RS Mr. Conductor: "It's no fun getting stuck in the snow,"

Narrator: "Whispered RS Mr. Conductor to Bart,"

RS Mr. Conductor: "But it was worth it for this party. Happy Christmas, Bart, Happy Christmas, everybody!"