Mr. Oldman Sketch 8

This is Mr. Oldman Sketch #8 from The Amanda Show.

Transcript

 * (Redhead sits on the couch, then picks up the phone and starts dialing)
 * (Mr. Oldman's phone rings)
 * Mr. Oldman: The earth minus children equal happier times. (picks up the phone and answers)
 * Mr. Oldman: (inhales) Hello?!
 * Redhead: Thank you for calling. Your credit card will now be charged.
 * Mr. Oldman: My credit card? But I didn't buy anything. *You* called *me!*
 * Redhead: That'll be $40.00, sir.
 * Mr. Oldman: Forty dollars?! For what?
 * Redhead: For English, press 1. For Japanese, press 2.
 * Mr. Oldman: But I don't speak the Japanese.
 * Redhead: Then press 1!
 * Mr. Oldman: Ohh, I don't wanna press any... all right (presses the #1 button) There, I pressed the 1 button. #1. Do I do now?
 * Redhead: Oh-
 * Mr. Oldman: Where's the English?
 * Redhead: O-tend to be O-medato.
 * Mr. Oldman: I tell ya, I don't understand the sounds of Japan! You have the wrong number!
 * Redhead: Soono-mono, Taeki-maeki.
 * Mr. Oldman: Ohh. (grunts and presses the other buttons) I pressed more buttons. Now will you *please* speak of the English?
 * Redhead: For potato salad, press your nose and say Beep.
 * Mr. Oldman: But... well, I do enjoy the potato salad. (he looks right, then left and pushes his nose) Beep! There, I pressed my nose and beeped at ya! Where's my potato salad?
 * Redhead: It's a type of salad, sir. With potatoes.
 * Mr. Oldman: I *know* what potato salad is. I just don't have any fortune to sume.
 * Redhead: