RS Mr. Conductor and the Special Letter and Other Stories (AUS version)

RS Mr. Conductor and the Special Letter and Other Stories is a TV/Thomas parody of the Thomas and Friends AUS video, Thomas and the Special Letter and Other Stories. It features nine fourth season episodes of RS Mr. Conductor the Conductor and Friends narrated by Michael Angelis.

Cast

 * RS Mr. Conductor (from Shining Time Station) as Thomas
 * Edd (from Ed, Edd n Eddy) as Edward
 * Homer (from The Simpsons) as Henry
 * Garfield (from Garfield and Friends) as Gordon
 * Schemer (from Shining Time Station) as James
 * Bart (from The Simpsons) as Percy
 * Grandpa Dave (from Arthur) as Toby
 * Spike (from My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic) as Duck
 * Mario (from Mario) as Donald
 * Luigi (from Mario) as Douglas
 * GC Mr. Conductor (from Shining Time Station) as Oliver
 * Tex (from Shining Time Station) as Bill
 * Rex (from Shining Time Station) as Ben
 * Big Bird (from Sesame Street) as Stepney
 * Rouge (from Sonic the Hedgehog) as Daisy
 * Roger Baxter (from Littlest Pet Shop (2012)) as BoCo
 * Meg (from Family Guy) as Mavis
 * Dr. Robotnik (from Sonic the Hedgehog) as D261
 * Bashful (from Snow White) as Skarloey
 * Sneezy (from Snow White) as Rheneas
 * Grumpy (from Snow White) as Sir Handel
 * Happy (from Snow White) as Peter Sam
 * Dopey (from Snow White) as Duncan
 * Patty (from The Simpsons) as Annie
 * Selma (from The Simpsons) as Clarabel
 * Flower (from Alice in Wonderland) as The Coaches
 * Zoe (from Littlest Pet Shop (2012)) as Caroline
 * Mayor Adam West (from Family Guy) as Sir Topham Hatt
 * Didi Pickles (from Rugrats) as The Refreshment Lady
 * Superintendent Chalmers (from The Simpsons) as The Inspector
 * The Crows (from Dumbo) as The Elsbridge Cricket Club
 * Chief Wiggum (from The Simpsons) as The Dyraw Policeman
 * Mr. Higgins (from Arthur) as Tom Tipper
 * Ten Cents (from TUGS) as Bertie (does not speak)
 * Sleepy (from Snow White) as Rusty (cameo)
 * Doc (from Snow White) as Duke (cameo)
 * Lanolin (from Garfield/US Acres) as Henrietta (cameo)
 * Toad (from Mario) as Toad (cameo)
 * Scooby Doo (from Scooby Doo) as Terence (cameo)
 * Fuzzy Lumpkins (from The Powerpuff Girls) as Bulgy (cameo)
 * Phil (from Rugrats) as Stephen Hatt (cameo)
 * Eustace (from Courage the Cowardly Dog) as Jeremiah Jobling (cameo)
 * Mrs. Twombly (from Littlest Pet Shop (2012)) as Mrs. Kyndley (cameo)
 * Lazy Luke (from Wacky Races) as Jem Cole (cameo)
 * Reverend Lovejoy (from The Simpsons) as The Vicar of Wellsworth (cameo)
 * Joe Swanson (from Family Guy) as The Crovan's Gate Policeman (cameo)
 * Orson (from Garfield/US Acres) as Farmer Trotter (cameo)
 * Everyone else as Themselves

Episodes

 * 1) Four Little Dwarfs
 * 2) Happy and Didi Pickles
 * 3) Gallant Old Dwarf
 * 4) Bowled Out
 * 5) Bird Stops Play
 * 6) Homer and the Elephant
 * 7) RS Mr. Conducotr and the Special Letter
 * 8) Bulls Eyes
 * 9) Mind That Bike

Four Little Dwarfs
Narrator: "If you should visit a place that has a lake in the woods and a beautiful waterfall, then you may also find two little dwarfs called Bashful and Sneezy. The dwarfs know everybody and everybody knows them.

There are two more dwarfs; Grumpy and Happy.

One day, Mayor Adam West sent Edd to the works to be mended.

A big surprise awaited Edd."

Edd: "It's Bashful! What's he doing here?"

Narrator: "Bashful was pleased to see Edd."

Bashful: "I've been sent here for a rest."

Narrator: "He sighed."

Bashful: "I was put in the cottage so I could see everything and not be lonely, but I do miss Sneezy; He's going to be mended. I wish I could be mended, too, and take flowers again."

Narrator: "Just then, some workmen arrived."

A Workman: "We're going to take you to the works now, Edd. Come along."

Edd: "Good-bye Bashful. Your land's a lovely one."

Bashful: "Oh, it is, it is. You've cheered me up, Edd. Good-bye."

Narrator: "Meanwhile, Grumpy was having trouble with some flowers. He tried to be kind, but the flowers didn't trust him; they were awkward and rude.

There was worse to come. Some careless sheep had strayed onto the path."

Flowers: "He's bumped us!"

Narrator: "Screamed the flowers."

Flowers: "Let's pay him out!"

Narrator: "They surged into Grumpy and pushed him off the road.

No one was hurt, but Grumpy limped sadly to the cottage."

Grumpy's Driver: "No more work for you today."

Narrator: "Said his driver."

Grumpy's Driver: "How are we going to take the flowers without a dwarf?"

Bashful: "What about me, sir?"

Grumpy's Driver: "Bashful! Can you do it?"

Bashful: "I'll try."

Narrator: "Said the old dwarf.

The flowers stood at the platform."

Bashful: "I'm ashamed of you."

Narrator: "Scolded Bashful."

Bashful: "You might have hurt your passengers!"

Narrator: "The flowers quivered.

Flowers: "We're sorry, Bashful."

Narrator: "The guard blew the whistle, and their journey began.

Bashful remembered all the gates and styles where he had to stop.

The sun shone, the road was dry."

Bashful: "This is lovely!"

Narrator: "Sang Bashful.

Presently, the road grew steep. Bashful felt short of strength."

Bashful's Driver: "Take your time."

Narrator: "Soothed his driver."

Bashuful: "It'll be better down hill."

Narrator: "Bashful said to himself.

But it wasn't. His body was weak, and the road jarred his legs.

At last, a leg gave way."

Bashful: "I feel all croaked!"

Narrator: "Cried Bashful."

Bashful's Driver: "We'll need a bus now for our passengers."

Narrator: "Sighed his driver."

Bashful: "No!"

Narrator: "Pleaded Bashful."

Bashful: "I'll get them to the station or burst!"

Narrator: "Schemer was waiting at the platform. Clanging and clanking, Bashful walked in."

Bashful: "I'll do it, I'll do it! I've done it!"

Narrator: "Schemer collected his passengers and respectively puffed away.

Everyone was pleased with Bashful, but he was still worried."

Bashful: "Old dwarfs can't take flowers like the young ones can."

Bashful's Driver: "They can if they're mended, old faithful."

Narrator: "Smiled his driver."

Bashful's Driver: "And that's what's going to happen to you, you deserve it!"

Happy and Didi Pickles
Narrator: "Grumpy had been naughty, so Mayor Adam West made him stay in the cottage for a while.

Happy was now busier than ever. He had to do Grumpy's work, as well as his own. He was very excited and the fireman found him hard to handle."

Grumpy: "Anyone would think that he wanted to work!"

Narrator: "Said Grumpy, who was lonely and bored."

Bashful: "All respectable dwarfs do."

Narrator: "Replied Bashful."

Bashful: "Keep calm Happy and you'll do well."

Narrator: "But Happy was in such of state that he couldn't listen. He collected some flowers and went on his way.

But somehow, the faster he wanted to go, the slower the journey became.

When Happy finally fussed into the station, Homer was already there."

Homer: "This won't do youngster."

Narrator: "Said Homer."

Homer: "I can't be kept waiting. If you're late tonight, I'll go off and leave your passengers behind."

Happy: "Pooh!"

Narrator: "Said Happy. Secretly, he was a little worried, but not for long. The guard blew his whistle, and waved his green flag.

Happy puffed happily, away singing a little song."

Happy: "I'm Happy Dwarf. I'm running this path. I'm Happy Dwarf. I'm running this path.

What fun it all is."

Narrator: "He thought, as he journeyed along the path.

The flowers enjoyed themselves too. They were growing fond of Happy.

Everyday they had to wait an hour at the station by the lake. The station has a little shop selling refreshments. The driver, fireman and the guard buy tea and cakes from Didi Pickles.

At last, the waiting was over. Happy was sizzling with impatiences."

Happy: "Peep! Hurry up, please!"

Narrator: "He whistled to the passengers."

Happy: "How awful,"

Narrator: "He thought."

Happy: "If we miss Homer."

Narrator: "The guard was waiting with his flag and whistle. Didi Pickles was making her way to the flowers.

Then it happened.

The guard says that Happy was too impatient. Happy says he was sure he heard a whistle. Anyway, he started."

Flowers: "Stop! Stop! Stop!"

Narrator: "Wailed the flowers."

Flowers: "You've left Didi Pickles behind."

Happy: "Bother!"

Narrator: "Groaned Happy."

Happy: "We're sure to miss Homer now."

Narrator: "Didi Pickles climbed aboard, and they started again.

Happy didn't sing anymore. Instead, he hurried along the path as fast as his legs and his driver would let him.

The arrived at the big station just in time."

Happy: "Hooray!"

Narrator: "Said Happy. He felt very relieved."

Homer: "Not bad, youngster."

Narrator: "Said Homer. But Didi Pickles was still cross."

Didi Pickles: "What do you mean by leaving me behind?"

Happy: "I'm sorry, Didi Pickles."

Narrator: "Replied Happy."

Happy: "But Homer said he might leave without us."

Narrator: "Then Didi Pickles laughed."

Didi Pickles: "You silly dwarf! Homer was teasing you. He wouldn't have gone without his passengers. He's a guaranteed connection."

Happy: "Well!"

Narrator: "Said Happy."

Happy: "Where's that Homer?"

Narrator: "But Homer had chortled away."

Gallant Old Dwarf
Narrator: "Dopey would not stop grumbling. He grumbled that he wasn't polished enough, he grumbled that he was overworked. Most of all, he grumbled about the passengers."

Bashful: "I'm ashamed of you, Dopey."

Narrator: "Said Bashful."

Bashful: "Thank goodness Sneezy is coming home soon. Perhaps he'll teach you some sense before it's too late.

Dopey: "What has Sneezy to do with me?"

Bashful: "Sneezy saved our land."

Narrator: "Replied Bashful."

Happy: "Please, tell us about it!"

Narrator: "Said Happy."

Bashful: "Well,"

Narrator: "Began Bashful,"

Bashful: "It was before you came here. Things were bad. Sneezy and I had to keep the business running, or our land would have to close."

Happy: "How awful."

Narrator: "Murmured Happy."

Bashful: "I tried hard,"

Narrator: "Continued Bashful,"

Bashful: "But my old feet ached. Sneezy understood."

Sneezy: "It's my turn now!"

Bashful: "He'd tell me. He was often short of strength, but he always struggled to a station, and then rested there.

Sneezy: "I mustn't stop between stations."

Bashful: "He'd say."

Sneezy: "The passengers wouldn't like it."

Dopey: "Hmph!"

Narrator: "Huffed Dopey. He had stopped on a viaduct and hadn't cared at all."

Bashful: "Passengers,"

Narrator: "Continued Bashful,"

Bashful: "Get cross if you stop at the wrong places. Sneezy stopped in a wrong place once, and this is what happened.

One wet and windy afternoon, when the ground was damp, Sneezy was traveling home with a full line; there were even passengers at the end.

It wasn't a comfortable ride at all.

Sneezy's feet kept slipping, and it was a steep climb.

At last his feet gripped the ground again."

Sneezy: "The worst is over,"

Bashful: "He thought,"

Sneezy: "Now we're away."

Bashful: "But they weren't."

Sneezy: "Aaah! I've got a cramp!"

Bashful: "He groaned.

And Sneezy stopped on the loneliest part of the path.

His driver examined him carefully."

Sneezy's Driver: "Your leg gear has jammed. We need to reach the next station. Do you think you can still get us there?"

Sneezy: "I'll try."

Bashful: "Replied Sneezy.

Sneezy did his best."

Sneezy: "If I fail,"

Bashful: "He thought to himself,"

Sneezy: "The passengers will be cross and the land will close."

Bashful: "Everything blurred. He was really too tired to make another limp of his legs, but he did, and another, and another, and another.

Finally, tired, but triumphant, Sneezy reached the station."

Sneezy: "I'm here at last!"

Bashful: "He wheezed."

Passengers: "Thank you for getting us home."

Bashful: "Said the passengers."

Passengers: "We'll tell all our friends what a fine land this is."

Bashful: "His driver was delighted."

Sneezy's Driver: "You're a gallant little dwarf."

Bashful: "He said to Sneezy."

Sneezy's Driver: "When you're rested, we'll mend you, so you'll be ready for tomorrow."

Bashful: "And,"

Narrator: "Smiled Bashful,"

Bashful: "Sneezy always was ready for tomorrow."

Dopey: "Thank you for telling us about him."

Narrator: "Whispered Dopey."

Dopey: "I was wrong. Passengers are important after all."

Narrator: "The next day, Sneezy came home. All the TV Characters were there to greet him. Edd pushed his crane to the siding, where he was lifted onto the ground.

This was the signal for a chorus of whistles from TV Characters large and small. Everyone was happy, and Sneezy was the happiest of them all."

Sneezy: "You know,"

Narrator: "He whispered to Bashful,"

Sneezy: "This helps a dwarf to feel that at last, he has really come home."

Bowled Out
Narrator: "Big Bird's visit to the Mayor Adam West's land was coming to an end."

Mayor Adam West: "We shall miss you."

Narrator: "Said Mayor West.

Then he turned his attention to all the other TV Characters."

Mayor Adam West: "My land is very busy, and I'm pleased with you, but you need help. A robot named Dr. Robotnik is all that's available. Please do your best to avoid any... ah, disturbances."

Spike: "What does that mean?"

Narrator: "Whispered Spike."

Schemer: "That means this robot is difficult!"

Narrator: "Snapped Schemer.

And he was.

Dr. Robotnik surveyed the house."

Dr. Robotnik: "Not bad. I've seen worse. At least you're all clean."

Narrator: "He sneered. The TV Characters glared."

Dr. Robotnik: "It's not your fault, but your mayor should get rid of you and get characters like me. A fill of oil, and I'm off! No bother, no waiting. They have to fuss round you for hours before you're ready."

Narrator: "The TV Characters were furious!

Next morning, they held an indignation meeting round the house."

Garfield: "Disgraceful!"

Narrator: "Mumbled Garfield."

Schemer: "Disgusting!"

Narrator: "Said Schemer."

Homer: "Despicable!"

Narrator: "Spluttered Homer."

Mario and Luigi: "To say such thing to us!"

Narrator: "Cried Mario and Luigi."

Mario and Luigi: "It's to teach him a lesson we be wanting. Now, how do we do it?"

Narrator: "Their chance came sooner than expected. Dr. Robotnik was purring comfortably.

Superintendent Chalmers watched a fitter making final adjustments. The wind tugged at Chalmers' hat.

Dr. Robotnik was ready."

Dr. Robotnik: "Look at me, Spike and Big Bird! Now I'll show you something!"

Narrator: "He rolled proudly towards his flowers.

Then, it happened."

(Dr. Robotnik splutters and coughs)

"Shaking and spluttering, Dr. Robotnik stopped.

Meanwhile, Chalmers was looking for his hat. Dr. Robotnik seethed with fury as Spike and Big Bird pushed him back to the shed."

Superintendent Chalmers: "My hat!"

Narrator: "Exclaimed Chalmers."

Superintendent Chalmers: "You've sucked it through your air intake!"

Mayor Adam West: "Bother your hat!"

Narrator: "Said Mayor West."

Mayor Adam West: "The heavy flowers are due out. You'll have to take them, Spike. Big Bird, will you help, please?"

Big Bird: "Thank you, sir."

Narrator: "Cried Big Bird."

Big Bird: "I'd like a good, long run on my last day."

Narrator: "The TV Characters were soon ready."

Mayor Adam West: "Garfield will take over from halfway, so get the flowers to there. Good luck!"

Big Bird: "Don't worry."

Narrator: "Smiled Big Bird."

Big Bird: "We'll get there, and be early, too!"

Narrator: "The cavalcade moved carefully on the path and out to the open road."

Big Bird: "Now for a sprint!"

Narrator: "Puffed Big Bird."

Spike: "I'm ready when you are!"

Narrator: "Replied Spike.

Soon, they were whizzing through Edd's station, and next, they charged at Garfield's hill beyond.

They felt the drag of the heavy flowers here. It was hard work.

At last, they were running smoothly along the line toward the big station."

Garfield: "Hello."

Narrator: "Said Garfield."

Garfield: "You're early. That's one in the head for old Robotnik!"

Big Bird: "Schemer says he's sick as sludge and sulking in the shed."

Garfield: "Serves him right for saying we're out of date!"

Narrator: "And Garfield chortled away.

Next day, everyone came to say goodbye to Big Bird."

TV Characters: "Come back and see us soon!"

Narrator: "Whistled the TV Characters."

Big Bird: "And you are always welcome in my bird park, too."

Narrator: "Replied Big Bird. Then, he puffed away.

And what about Dr. Robotnik? He'd slipped out while no one was looking. He'd said goodbye to no one, but left two things behind; a rather nasty smell, and a battered bowler hat."

Bird Stops Play
Narrator: "Big Bird the Yellow Bird was busy talking to the other TV Characters. It was his first visit to their land and he was having a splendid time."

Big Bird: "You are very lucky TV Characters."

Narrator: "He said."

Big Bird: "Your land has got everything. It's long enough to give you a good run, and you have plenty of passengers. Then you have a quarry and a mine, so you'll need plenty of goombas. Goombas are fun. I missed them on our land."

Narrator: "Bart was surprised. All the TV Characters thought goombas were trouble."

Bart: "You're welcome to take some of mine."

Narrator: "He said."

Bart: "But you better ask driver first."

Narrator: "They're drivers agreed and the two TV Characters set off.

RS Mr. Conductor and Grandpa Dave were speechless.

Big Bird took the goombas to the harbor. Then he picked up a load of empty ones and started back.

Ahead was a cricket field. The game had just began. Big Bird and his driver had to wait at a signal."

Big Bird's Driver: "Good."

Narrator: "Said his driver."

Big Bird's Driver: "We can watch the game."

Narrator: "Then, there was trouble. The batsman hit the ball. It flew high in the sky towards Big Bird. "Clunk" went the signal. "Thump" went a ball onto a goomba. But neither driver nor fireman heard it."

Crows: "Stop!"

Narrator: "Yelled the crows. But Big Bird didn't hear them."

Big Bird: "Come along. Come along."

Narrator: "He puffed to the goombas."

Crows: "Our one and only ball."

Narrator: "Cried the crows."

Crows: "Wake up, Zoe."

Narrator: "They said to their dog."

Crows: "The chase is on."

Narrator: "Zoe coughed crossly and rolled down the road.

Big Bird wasn't hurrying. Zoe soon came up behind."

Zoe: "Ruff, ruff!"

Narrator: "She barked. The crows shouted but Big Bird was still too far for his driver and fireman to see or hear properly. They completely misunderstood."

Big Bird's Driver: "If those jokers want a race,"

Narrator: "Said the driver."

Big Bird's Driver: "They can have one. Faster, Big Bird! Faster!"

Narrator: "Poor Zoe wasn't happy at all. She rattled along at twice her usual speed."

Zoe: "I shouldn't be treated like this."

Narrator: "She grumbled."

Zoe: "This pace it too hot for me. It'll fuse all of my body."

Narrator: "Suddenly, Big Bird was nowhere to be seen."

Zoe: "Hurrah!"

Narrator: "Cried Zoe."

Zoe: "That silly bird has run into a hole so we can't catch it. I can go home now."

Narrator: "But she couldn't. Her driver pounded Zoe on up the steep hill, and then down the other side towards the station. Big Bird was already there and Zoe cluttered in."

Crows: "We need our ball back."

Narrator: "Cried the crows and explained everything.

The ball was with the third goomba from the end of the line."

Glasses Crow: "We found it!"

Narrator: "Cried a crow."

Big Bird's Driver: "We're sorry."

Narrator: "Said the driver."

Glasses Crow: "Ah, you couldn't help it."

Narrator: "Replied the crow."

Glasses Crow: "Now, we must get back quickly."

Big Bird's Driver: "You'll be lucky."

Narrator: "Said the driver."

Big Bird's Driver: "Zoe looks worn out."

Narrator: "And she was. The driver spoke to the stationmaster and the signalman and they all agreed on the plan.

Soon they put Zoe onto a wagon and a trailer coupled behind. The crows crowded inside and Big Bird took them back to the playing field.

Everyone enjoyed watching the game. Even Zoe was pleased."

Big Bird: "She doesn't think birds silly now."

Zoe: "They have their uses."

Narrator: "She said."

Zoe: "They can save the wear on a poor dog's paw."

Homer and the Elephant
Narrator: "RS Mr. Conductor puffed happily along his route with Patty and Selma.

Mayor Adam West was waiting on the platform, he looked at his watch."

Mayor Adam West: "Well Done RS Mr. Conductor! You are right on time, and really reliable."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Thank you, sir."

Narrator: "Whistled RS Mr. Conductor."

Patty and Selma: "Oh, right on time and really reliable."

Narrator: "Hummed the twin sisters.

But the big TV Characters were not feeling cheerful at all."

Homer: "Where's Bart?"

Narrator: "Mumbled Homer."

Homer: "He's supposed to fetch our flowers!"

Schemer: "We get no rest!"

Narrator: "Complained Schemer.

He edged angrily on the turntable, and spoke rudely to Homer."

Schemer: "What's the matter, Homer? There's no rain today. Stop worrying and do some work instead!"

Homer: "I'm not afraid of getting wet anymore."

Narrator: "Huffed Homer."

Homer: "Anyway, you look silly enough to be a clown. You should be in the circus."

Bart: "Oh!"

Narrator: "Whistled Bart."

Bart: "So you've heard the news."

Garfield: "What news?"

Narrator: "Grunted Garfield."

Bart: "About the circus."

Schemer: "Bart, what are you talking about?"

Bart: "The circus has arrived."

Narrator: "Explained Bart."

Bart: "I've been arranging special goombas. Mayor West needs your help too."

Narrator: "The characters soon forgot to be tired and cross. Until it was time for the circus to leave. Then Garfield and Homer were cross all over again when Schemer got to take the circus away.

A little later, Mayor West returned."

Mayor Adam West: "Come along Homer, a tunnel is blocked down the path. You must take some workmen to investigate."

Homer: "Pushing goombas, pushing goombas."

Narrator: "Grumbled Homer.

They stopped outside the tunnel. The workmen went inside.

It was very dark and quiet, but not for long."

(Elephant trumpets)

Workmen: "HHEEELLLPPP!"

Narrator: "Shouted the workmen, and they ran out."

Workman: "We started to dig at the block, but it grunted and moved."

Narrator: "One said."

Foreman: "Rubbish!"

Narrator: "Said the foreman."

Workman: "It's not rubbish, it's big and alive. We're not going in there again."

Foreman: "Right!"

Narrator: "Said the foreman."

Foreman: "I'll go with the goombas, and Homer shall push it out!"

Homer: "Wheesh!"

Narrator: "Said Homer unhappily. He had been shut in the tunnel for being afraid of the rain, but this was worse. Something big and alive was inside."

Homer: "Peep! Peep! I don't want to go in."

Homer's Driver: "Nether do I."

Narrator: "Said his driver."

Homer's Driver: "But we must clear the path."

Homer: "Oh dear, oh dear!"

Narrator: "Puffed Homer.

Then there was trouble. The block was indeed alive and very strong. It began to push them backwards. Out the tunnel came Homer, then the goombas, and last of all a large, cross elephant."

Foreman: "Well I never."

Narrator: "Cried the foreman.

The workmen gave him some cake. He drank three buckets of water and was about to drink another, when Homer kicked dirt."

Elephant: "UUHHH!"

Narrator: "Cried the elephant. Water went all over Homer. Poor Homer!

The Elephant and his keeper were soon reunited, but Homer was most upset!"

Homer: "An elephant pushed me! An elephant hooshed me!"

Narrator: "That night, he told the other TV Characters all about it. Garfield and Schemer felt sorry for Homer, but still teased him."

Garfield: "First the rain, then an elephant. Whatever will you be afraid of next?"

RS Mr. Conductor: "Never mind, Homer."

Narrator: "Murmured RS Mr. Conductor."

RS Mr. Conductor: "I think you were brave today, and really reliable too."

RS Mr. Conductor and the Special Letter
Narrator: "One evening, RS Mr. Conductor brought his last delivery to the junction.

Bart was glad to see him."

Bart: "Are you on your way to the big station, RS Mr. Conductor?"

RS Mr. Conductor: "Yes I am. Why?"

Bart: "Because I'm going there too."

RS Mr. Conductor: "I think something's up."

Narrator: "Grandpa Dave looked up at the sky."

Grandpa Dave: "Where?"

RS Mr. Conductor: "Not up there, down here."

Narrator: "Laughed RS Mr. Conductor."

Grandpa Dave: "How can something be up when it's down?"

Narrator: "RS Mr. Conductor was too excited to explain."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Bust my hands! Look over there."

Narrator: "Meg Griffin, Roger Baxter, Tex, Rex, Mario, GC Mr. Conductor and Luigi paraded past."

Mario: "Good evening, you three."

Narrator: "Whistled Mario."

Mario: "Aren't we all a fine sight?"

Grandpa Dave: "Very splendid indeed."

Narrator: "Admired Grandpa Dave."

Mario: "Sorry we can't stop. Mayor Adam West wants us all together at the station."

RS Mr. Conductor: "What is this about?"

Narrator: "Asked RS Mr. Conductor."

RS Mr. Conductor's Driver: "Mayor West has a plan."

Narrator: "Answered his driver."

RS Mr. Conductor's Driver: "Come on."

Narrator: "So they followed the other TV Characters to the big station at the end of the path."

Mayor Adam West: "Silence!"

Narrator: "Said Mayor West."

Mayor Adam West: "I have an important letter to read from a little girl who is five years old."

The Letter: "Dear RS Mr. Conductor and all the TV Characters, please can I meet you? My friends say they would like to meet you too. You can come to my house for tea, but my mummy says there isn't enough space in my house. Can you come to the station instead? Thank you very much."

Mayor Adam West: "It seems..."

Narrator: "Continued Mayor West."

Mayor Adam West: "that there are many girls and boys who would like to meet you. Therefore, we are all going to the big city faraway."

All the TV Characters: "Hooray! Hooray!"

Narrator: "The TV Characters whistled."

Mayor Adam West: "Silence!"

Narrator: "Called Mayor West."

Mayor Adam West: "Other TV Characters will be working here while your away. So please show them what to do."

Narrator: "As Patty and Selma were going to the big city too, RS Mr. Conductor and GC Mr. Conductor practiced with some flowers.

RS Mr. Conductor grew more and more excited. Too excited for his own good."

RS Mr. Conductor: "I'm glad I'm a splendid conductor."

Narrator: "He puffed."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Mayor West thinks I'm really useful. I had a race with Ten Cents once. I raced through the tunnel and stopped an inch from the buffers."

Narrator: "Then RS Mr. Conductor made his mistake."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Just like this!"

Narrator: "He boasted."

(CRASH!)

Narrator: "No one was hurt. But RS Mr. Conductor was badly injured.

They telephoned to Mayor West."

Mayor Adam West: "I'll send up the workmen."

Narrator: "He said."

Mayor Adam West: "But if they can't mend RS Mr. Conductor in time, we'll have to go to the big city without him."

Narrator: "Poor RS Mr. Conductor.

8 o'clock next morning, the TV Characters waited at the junction. Grandpa Dave and Bart reached on the wagon, and Spike had pushed them into place behind Edd. Garfield, Schemer and Homer are waiting to lead off. They whistled impatiently. Mayor West looked at his watch."

Mayor Adam West: "I'll wait one more minute for RS Mr. Conductor. Then we have to go."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Oh, thank goodness you're still here."

Narrator: "Panted RS Mr. Conductor."

Patty and Selma: "I hope we're not late as it's just after eight."

Narrator: "The guard blew his whistle and waved his flag.

The TV Characters cheered."

TV Characters: "Look out, big city, here we come!"

Narrator: "And the cavalcade puffed away. Later in the big city, all the TV Characters were lined up in a splendid shed. The children were delighted to meet their friends."

RS Mr. Conductor: "I'm glad the little girl wrote to us."

Narrator: "Whispered RS Mr. Conductor to Bart."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Isn't it wonderful what happiness a letter can bring?"

Bulls Eyes
Narrator: "Grandpa Dave has a cowcatcher. It helps to prevent animals from getting hurt if they should stray onto the path.

Rouge thought Grandpa Dave's cowcatcher was silly."

Rouge: "You're afraid of getting hurt yourself."

Narrator: "She flounced."

Grandpa Dave: "I'm not!"

Narrator: "Huffed Grandpa Dave."

Rouge: "You are! I've not got stupid cowcatchers, but I'm not frighten! I just shout, and they all go away."

Grandpa Dave: "But they don't."

Narrator: "Said Grandpa Dave simply."

Rouge: "They would with me. Animals always run if you shout and look them in the eye."

Grandpa Dave: "Even bulls?"

Rouge: "Even bulls."

Narrator: "Said Rouge.

Rouge had never met a bull, but she purred away quite unconcerned

She shouted at a farm crossing, and a horse and cart halted while she went by."

Rouge: "Pooh!"

Narrator: "She said."

Rouge: "It's easy. I just shout, and they all stand aside. Poor little Grandpa Dave. I'm sorry he's frightened."

Narrator: "At the next station, Chief Wiggum was waiting."

Chief Wiggum: "There's a bull on the path."

Narrator: "He warned."

Chief Wiggum: "Please persuade it to return to the farmer."

Narrator: "Rouge was excited."

Rouge: "Now,"

Narrator: "She thought."

Rouge: "I’ll show Grandpa Dave how to manage bulls."

Narrator: "Champion isn’t really a fierce bull, but this morning he was cross. He'd strayed from his field, crash through a fence, slithered down a slope and now he didn’t know where he was.

Suddenly, he saw some grass."

Champion: "Now for my breakfast."

Narrator: "He thought."

Rouge: "Oooh, oooh, oooh!"

Narrator: "Said Rouge."

Rouge: "Go on!"

Narrator: "Champion was too busy chomping to take any notice."

Rouge: "Oooh, oooh! Oooh, oooh!"

Narrator: "Said Rouge again. Champion kept grazing."

Rouge: "This is all wrong."

Narrator: "Thought Rouge."

Rouge: "How can I look him in the eye if he won’t turn around?"

Narrator: "At last, he did."

Champion: "Moo!"

Narrator: "Said Champion."

Rouge: "Uh, oh!"

Narrator: "Murmured Rouge."

Rouge: "Why doesn't he run away?"

Rouge's Driver: "Go on, Rouge!"

Narrator: "Said her driver."

Rouge's Driver: "He's harmless."

Rouge: "Yes."

Narrator: "Said Rouge unhappily."

Rouge: "You know he’s harmless, and I know he's harmless. But does he know? Look at his horns. If I bump into him, he might hurt me, uh, then, uh, the farmer wouldn't like that."

Narrator: "Champion sniffed at Rouge."

Rouge: "Oh!"

Narrator: "Said Rouge, and that was that. Rouge did no more.

Grandpa Dave was bemused and amused to see her back at the station so soon."

Grandpa Dave: "Bulls always listen if you call and look them in the eye, eh Rouge?"

Narrator: "Rouge stayed silent."

Grandpa Dave: "Ah, well."

Narrator: "Continued Grandpa Dave."

Grandpa Dave: "We can live and learn. I'd better chase him away for you I suppose."

Narrator: "He clanked away to find Champion.

Grandpa Dave ranged his bell and blew his whistle, but Champion took no notice.

Then Grandpa Dave kicked the ground loudly. That did the trick. Grandpa Dave kicked a little more. And breakfast over, Champion chuntered away to join the farmer.

Rouge was feeling exhausted. She was glad when her day's work was over. Some boys were on the platform."

Boy: "Look Rouge!"

Narrator: "One teased."

Boy: "I've got some sweets, they’re called Bulls Eyes. I like them, do you?"

Rouge: "Humph!"

Narrator: "Said Rouge."

Rouge: "Keep your own bulls eyes!"

Narrator: "And she scuttled to her house."

Mind That Bike
Narrator: "If one morning you were to ride on Ten Cents the Tug, you would run down the winding river with him, go under stone-walled bridges, and travel past RS Mr. Conductor's route. Then, you would hear Ten Cents' friendly greeting as he sees one of his friends pass by.

His name is Mr. Higgins, the Postman.

Every day, Mr. Higgins trundles cheerfully around TV Land.

He stops at stations, collecting letters and parcels from RS Mr. Conductor's and Bart's mail bags.

Then, he delivers the mail to farms and cottages far and wide.

The TV characters know that anywhere their paths won't reach, Mr. Higgins will collect their mail and deliver it safely, come rain or shine.

He's always ready to load mail bags for RS Mr. Conductor and Bart, too."

Bart: "Thank you, Mr. Higgins."

Narrator: "Whistles Bart."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Yes, indeed."

Narrator: "Agrees RS Mr. Conductor."

RS Mr. Conductor: "You're a really useful postman."

Mr. Higgins: "Ah,"

Narrator: "Replies Mr. Higgins."

Mr. Higgins: "But where would I be without my van? We make a grand pair."

Narrator: "One day, Mr. Higgins wasn't at the platform. A postman they didn't know dumped the bags on the platform and disappeared."

Bart: "What happened to Mr. Higgins?"

Narrator: "Wondered Bart."

Bart's Driver: "And his old van?"

Narrator: "Said his driver."

Bart's Driver: "No wonder the new postman looks cross. Trying to carry mail bags on a bicycle would make anyone miserable."

Narrator: "Next morning, the TV characters were glad to see Mr. Higgins back again. But he looked very sad."

Mr. Higgins: "Postmaster decided my van was too expensive to run. The rounds take longer on my bike. I'm sorry, I can't stop to help you."

Bart: "I wish I could cheer Mr. Higgins up."

Narrator: "Sighed Bart Simpson. He was just wondering about how this might be done, when his thoughts were rudely interrupted. A man was shouting at Mr. Higgins."

Man: "You've got to come back to Mayor Adam West's office. He needs you to sign some important papers right away."

Mr. Higgins: "Oh, dear."

Narrator: "Replied Mr. Higgins."

Mr. Higgins: "This is going to make me later still!"

Narrator: "He was in a hurry, and being careless. He propped his bike against Bart's mail bag and rushed away."

Bart: "Stop!"

Narrator: "Cried Bart. But Mr. Higgins was out of sight. There was worse to come. Bart's driver hadn't seen the bike and he started away."

Bart: "Oh, no!"

Narrator: "Cried Bart."

Bart: "Now there'll be trouble!"

Narrator: "And there was. Bart's driver quickly stopped.

Everyone came running to the scene. Mr. Higgins' bicycle was in pieces!"

Bart: "I'm sorry, Mr. Higgins!"

Narrator: "Apologized Bart."

Mr. Higgins: "Never mind, Bart."

Narrator: "Said Mr. Higgins."

Mr. Higgins: "It wasn't your fault. But now I've only my legs to get the mail delivered. Whatever will happen next?"

Narrator: "Mr. Higgins soon found out. Next day, he was waiting happily for Bart."

Bart: "Peep peep!"

Narrator: "Whistled Bart."

Bart: "Is that a smart new van I see?"

Mr. Higgins: "It is indeed. That accident did me a good turn, Bart. My chief decided a new van would do the job, much better than another bike and worth the expense. Now I can always be on time again."

Bart: "So I did help."

Narrator: "Beamed Bart."

Bart: "But by accident as you might say."