RS Mr. Conductor Gets Bumped and Other Stories

RS Mr. Conductor Gets Bumped and Other Stories is a TV/Thomas parody of the Thomas and Friends US release, Thomas Gets Bumped and Other Stories. It features one second season episode, and six third season episodes of RS Mr. Conductor the Conductor and Friends narrated by George Carlin.

Cast

 * RS Mr. Conductor (from Shining Time Station) as Thomas
 * Edd (from Ed, Edd n Eddy) as Edward
 * Homer (from The Simpsons) as Henry
 * Garfield (from Garfield and Friends) as Gordon
 * Schemer (from Shining Time Station) as James
 * Bart (from The Simpsons) as Percy
 * Grandpa Dave (from Arthur) as Toby
 * Spike (from My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic) as Duck
 * Mario (from Mario) as Donald
 * Mr. Burns (from The Simpsons) as Diesel
 * Goombas (from Mario) as the Troublesome Trucks
 * Scooby Doo (from Scooby Doo) as Terence
 * Ten Cents (from TUGS) as Bertie
 * Sunshine (from TUGS) as Trevor
 * Budgie (from Budgie the Little Helicopter) as Harold
 * Mayor Adam West (from Family Guy) as Sir Topham Hatt
 * Reverend Lovejoy (from The Simpsons) as The Vicar of Wellsworth
 * Mr. Ratburn (from Arthur) as The Inspector
 * Eustace (from Courage the Cowardly Dog) as Jeremiah Jobling (not named)
 * Lazy Luke (from Wacky Races) as Jem Cole (not named)
 * Peter Perfect (from Wacky Races) as City of Truro (not named; does not speak)
 * Patty (from The Simpsons) as Annie (does not speak)
 * Selma (from The Simpsons) as Clarabel (does not speak)
 * Luigi (from Mario) as Douglas (cameo)
 * Tex (from Shining Time Station) as Bill (cameo)
 * Rex (from Shining Time Station) as Ben (cameo)
 * Phil (from Rugrats) as Stephen Hatt (cameo)
 * Lil (from Rugrats) as Bridget Hatt (cameo)
 * Mrs. Twombly (from Littlest Pet Shop (2012)) as Mrs. Kyndley (cameo)
 * Everyone else as Themselves

Episodes

 * 1) RS Mr. Conductor Gets Bumped
 * Edd, Sunshine and the Really Useful Party
 * 1) Mr. Burns Does It Again
 * 2) Garfield and the Famous Visitor
 * 3) Mario's Duck
 * 4) Bart and the Signal
 * 5) RS Mr. Conductor, Bart and the Mail

RS Mr. Conductor Gets Bumped
Narrator: "Every afternoon, RS Mr. Conductor puffs along his route with Patty and Selma. First, they pass the water mill. Next, they come to a big farm. Then, they can see a bridge with a village nestled either side of it.

This is a special place. Whenever children hear RS Mr. Conductor coming along, they stand on the bridge, waving until he is out of sight.

One day, RS Mr. Conductor was running late. He had stopped at a red light before the bridge to talk to some new children. Bart Simpson was waiting, too."

Bart: "Hurry up, RS Mr. Conductor."

Narrator: "Called Bart, when the light turned green."

Bart: "If you're late, Mayor Adam West might get a new TV character to replace you."

RS Mr. Conductor: "He would never do that!"

Narrator: "Thought RS Mr. Conductor, but he was worried.

Next day, RS Mr. Conductor hurried along the path. Just ahead was the goods yard. There, on the platform, was an inspector waving a red flag.

Next, RS Mr. Conductor saw some children. They were waving too."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Something must be wrong."

Narrator: "Thought RS Mr. Conductor."

RS Mr. Conductor: "This station's for goods, not passengers."

Children: "Help, RS Mr. Conductor, help! We're glad to see you."

Narrator: "Called the children."

Children: "Please, will you take us home?"

Narrator: "The stationmaster explained to RS Mr. Conductor's driver that the school bus had broken down, and that all the parents would be worried if the children were late.

RS Mr. Conductor waited as the children walked down from the bridge. Then he took the children to the next station, where Ten Cents was waiting to take them home.

When RS Mr. Conductor finished his journey, he was very late. He was worried that Mayor West might be cross with him."

Bart: "I warned RS Mr. Conductor."

Narrator: "Puffed Bart to Schemer."

Bart: "He's been late one time too many. He'll be in trouble now."

Narrator: "But next morning, when RS Mr. Conductor came to pick up his passengers, Mayor West was nowhere to be seen."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Thank goodness."

Narrator: "Sighed RS Mr. Conductor.

RS Mr. Conductor knows every part of his route. But just ahead was a stretch where the hot sun had bent the road."

RS Mr. Conductor's Driver: "Careful, RS Mr. Conductor!"

Narrator: "Called his driver. But it was too late."

RS Mr. Conductor's Driver: "That's done it!"

Narrator: "Said his driver."

RS Mr. Conductor's Driver: "We shan't get any further today!"

RS Mr. Conductor: "But what about my passengers?"

Narrator: "Asked RS Mr. Conductor."

RS Mr. Conductor's Driver: "Don't worry, they'll be looked after."

Narrator: "Replied his driver.

While workmen repaired the road, RS Mr. Conductor had to work with goombas in the yard. Ten Cents came to see him."

Ten Cents: "I understand you need my help again."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Yes, Ten Cents."

Narrator: "Replied RS Mr. Conductor sadly."

RS Mr. Conductor: "I can't run without my road."

Narrator: "Ten Cents set off to collect RS Mr. Conductor's passengers."

Passengers: "Hello, Ten Cents."

Narrator: "They said."

Passengers: "We're glad you're here."

Narrator: "Ten Cents ran along the river by the path. He stopped at each station along the path. Sometimes he stopped between stations to let people off closer to their homes. RS Mr. Conductor felt miserable."

RS Mr. Conductor: "I've lost my passengers to Ten Cents. They'll like him better than me."

Narrator: "Mayor Adam West arrived."

Mayor Adam West: "Your route is repaired. I'm going to change your timetable so that you and Ten Cents can work together more."

Narrator: "When RS Mr. Conductor reached the station, there, to his relief, were all his passengers."

Passengers: "Ten Cents is a good tug, but we missed our rides with you."

Narrator: "They said.

Later, RS Mr. Conductor spoke to Ten Cents."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Thank you for looking after my passengers."

Ten Cents: "That's all right, RS Mr. Conductor. I like to make new friends, but I'm glad to share them with you."

RS Mr. Conductor: "You're a good friend, indeed."

Narrator: "Replied RS Mr. Conductor."

RS Mr. Conductor: "And always will be."

Edd, Sunshine and the Really Useful Party
Narrator: "Sunshine the Star Tug is old-fashioned, but he doesn't care. He knows that he is really useful, like his friend Edd.

Early one morning, Sunshine was chuffing about the vicarage orchard. He had important news for Edd."

Sunshine: "Reverend Lovejoy says the not all children are able to have holidays by the sea, so he's having a garden party to raise money for a seaside trip. I'm going to be the star attraction."

Narrator: "Chattered Sunshine."

Sunshine: "Giving rides to all the visitors. Reverend Lovejoy is putting up posters all about it."

Edd: "I'd like to help too."

Narrator: "Sighed Edd."

Edd: "But without my road, I wouldn't be much good at a garden party."

Narrator: "It was a beautiful day, but Edd was worried."

Edd: "I wish there were something I could for the party."

Narrator: "He said."

Edd: "I'd like to be helpful like Sunshine."

Narrator: "Edd's driver laughed."

Edd's Driver: "You're helpful in your own way, and that's in TV Land."

Narrator: "Next day, it was Sunshine's turn to look disappointed. He had bad news."

Sunshine: "Reverend Lovejoy's been so busy that he forgot to put up the posters. Now no one will know about the party."

Narrator: "But Edd had an idea."

Edd: "Don't worry."

Narrator: "He said."

Edd: "Everything is going to be all right."

Narrator: "Then he explained to his driver."

Edd: "Reverend Lovejoy can paste his posters and me and my flowers, so wherever I go, they'll go too."

Edd's Driver: "Well done, Edd."

Narrator: "Said his driver."

Edd's Driver: "I'm sure Mayor Adam West will agree."

Narrator: "As indeed he did.

Edd walked happily through the stations collecting his passengers."

Passengers: "Look."

Narrator: "They said."

Passengers: "Reverend Lovejoy's is holding a party. We must go to that."

Narrator: "Later, Sunshine was resting at the orchard dock when Ten Cents rolled by."

Ten Cents: "Hello, Sunshine. Why are you dozing there like an old stick-in-the-mud?"

Sunshine: "I'm not dozing. I'm resting."

Narrator: "Replied Sunshine. Then he told Ten Cents about Reverend Lovejoy's party."

Ten Cents: "I'll be there too."

Narrator: "Boasted Ten Cents."

Ten Cents: "I'm not sure if people will want to ride on a little tug after traveling with a smart tug like me."

Narrator: "The party day arrived. It had rained heavily during the night, and the orchard ground was soaked."

Sunshine: "Rain and mud won't spoil my day."

Narrator: "Said Sunshine."

Lazy Luke: "No, indeed."

Narrator: "Agreed his driver."

Lazy Luke: "We'll stay on the river, then we won't get bogged down."

Narrator: "Sunshine was soon busy trundling up and down the quiet country river, carrying lots of laughing children.

He was just turning a corner when he heard Ten Cents."

Ten Cents: "Hello, old-timer. I'm taking everyone to the party. People have come from all over the land."

Narrator: "Sunshine gave Ten Cents a cheerful whistle and turned back towards the orchard.

Then there was trouble."

Ten Cents: "Help, I'm stuck!"

Narrator: "Shouted Ten Cents. His hull had sunk deep in the mud patch. Scooby Doo the Dog arrived just in time."

Scooby Doo: "I'm the one who helps plow fields."

Narrator: "Laughed Scooby Doo."

Scooby Doo: "We'd better get you out."

Narrator: "Using strong ropes, Scooby Doo and Sunshine pulled Ten Cents clear of the mud."

Sunshine: "This will teach Ten Cents a thing or two."

Narrator: "Sunshine chuffered to himself.

At last, Ten Cents was on the river again."

Ten Cents: "Thank you, Sunshine. You're not a stick-in-the-mud at all."

Sunshine: "No."

Narrator: "Smiled Sunshine."

Sunshine: "But you were, just for a little while."

Narrator: "That evening, Reverend Lovejoy arrived to see Edd and his driver."

Reverend Lovejoy: "Thanks to your good idea about the posters, hundreds of people paid to come to the party. We've raised lots of money for the children."

Narrator: "Edd was very pleased, and Sunshine fell happily asleep thinking of all the children who would now get to the seaside at last."

Mr. Burns Does It Again
Narrator: "Spike and Bart enjoy their work at the harbor, pulling and pushing goombas with cargo to and from the quay.

But one morning, the TV characters were exhausted. The harbor was busier than ever.

Mayor Adam West promised that another character would be found to help them."

Batt: "Huh! It's about time."

Narrator: "Said Bart."

Spike: "I ache so much I can hardly get my feet to move."

Narrator: "Agreed Spike. They waited for the character to arrive.

It came as a shock when he did."

Mr. Burns: "Good morning."

Narrator: "Squirmed Mr. Burns in his oily voice. The two TV characters had not worked with Mr. Burns for a long time."

Spike: "What are you doing here?"

Narrator: "Gasped Spike."

Mr. Burns: "Your worthy West, ah, Mayor Adam West sent me. I hope you are pleased to see me again. I am to arrange some dreadfully tiresome goombas."

Bart: "Arrange where?"

Narrator: "Said Bart suspiciously."

Mr. Burns: "Where? Why from here to there."

Narrator: "Purred Mr. Burns."

Mr. Burns: "And then again from there to here. Easy, isn't it?"

Narrator: "With that, Mr. Burns, as if to make himself quite clear, bumped some goombas hard."

Goombas: "Ooooh!"

Narrator: "Screamed the goombas."

Mr. Burns: "Grrrrrh!"

Narrator: "Growled Mr. Burns.

Bart and Spike were horrified. They did not trust Mr. Burns at all. They refuse to work and would not leave their house.

Mayor West was enjoying his tea and iced bun when the telephone rang."

Mayor Adam West: "So there's trouble in the harbor yard? I'll be there right away."

Narrator: "Mr. Burns was working loudly and alone. Cargo lay on the quay. Ships and passengers were delayed. Everyone was complaining about Mayor West's land.

Bart and Spike were sulking in their house."

Mayor Adam West: "What's all this?"

Narrator: "Demanded Mayor West."

Bart: "We're on strike, sir."

Narrator: "Said Bart nervously."

Spike: "Yes."

Narrator: "Added Spike."

Spike: "Beg pardon, sir, but we won't work with Mr. Burns, sir. You said you sent him packing, sir."

Mayor Adam West: "I have to give Mr. Burns a second chance."

Narrator: "Replied Mayor West."

Mayor Adam West: "I'm trying to help you by bringing Mr. Burns here. Now you must help me. He was the only character available."

Narrator: "Bart and Spike went sadly back to work.

Next morning, things were no better. Mr. Burns' driver had not set his feet up properly and Mr. Burns started to move. He went bump straight into Bart."

Mr. Burns: "Wake up there, Bart."

Narrator: "Scowled Mr. Burns."

Mr. Burns: "You have work to do."

Narrator: "He didn't even say he was sorry to Bart.

Later, Mr. Burns bumped the goombas so hard that the loads went everywhere."

Bart: "What will Mayor West say?"

Narrator: "Gasped Bart."

Spike: "He won't like it."

Narrator: "Said Spike."

Mr. Burns: "So who's going to tell him, I wonder? Two little goody-goody tattle-tales like you, I suppose."

Narrator: "Bart and Spike did not want to be tattle-tales, so they said nothing.

Mr. Burns, thinking he could get away with his bad behavior, was ruder than ever. Next day, he was arranging goombas with china clay. He banged the goombas hard into the buffers, but the buffers weren't secure.

The silly goombas were sunk.

Soon, Mayor Adam West heard the news.

The goombas were hoisted safely from the sea, but the clay was lost.

Mayor West spoke severely to Captain Hook."

Mayor Adam West: "The harbor master has told me everything. Things worked much better here before you arrived. I shall not be inviting you back.

Now, Spike and Bart, I hope you won't mind having to handle the work by yourselves again."

Bart and Spike: "Oh no, sir. Yes, please, sir."

Narrator: "Replied the TV characters. Whistling cheerfully, they puffed back to work while Mr. Burns sulked slowly away."

Garfield and the Famous Visitor
Narrator: "It was an important day in the yard. Everyone was excited, making notes and taking photographs. A special visitor had arrived, and was now the center of attention."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Who's that?"

Narrator: "Whispered RS Mr. Conductor to Spike."

Spike: "That,"

Narrator: "Said Spike proudly,"

Spike: "Is a celebrity."

Bart: "A what?"

Narrator: "Asked Bart."

Spike: "A celebrity is a very famous character."

Narrator: "Replied Spike."

Spike: "Driver says we can talk to him soon."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Oh,"

Narrator: "Said RS Mr. Conductor."

RS Mr. Conductor: "He's probably too famous to even notice us."

Narrator: "Just then, Garfield arrived."

Garfield: "Pah!"

Narrator: "Said Garfield."

Garfield: "Who cares? A lot of fuss about nothing, if you ask me."

Narrator: "And he steamed away.

Later that night, the TV Characters found that the visitor wasn't conceited at all. He enjoyed talking the TV Characters, till long after the stars came out.

He left early next morning. Garfield was still complaining."

Garfield: "Good riddance!"

Narrator: "He grumbled."

Garfield: "Chattering all night. Who is he, anyway?"

RS Mr. Conductor: "Spike told you,"

Narrator: "Said RS Mr. Conductor."

RS Mr. Conductor: "He's famous."

Garfield: "As famous as me? Nonsense."

RS Mr. Conductor: "He's famouser than you. He went 100 miles an hour before you were even thought of."

Garfield: "Huh! So he says,"

Narrator: "Huffed Garfield."

Garfield: "But I didn't like his looks. He's got no tail. Never trust tailless racers. They're not respectable. I never boast, but I'd say that 100 miles an hour would be easy for me. Goodbye!"

Narrator: "Spike took some goombas to Edd's station."

Edd: "Hello."

Narrator: "Called Edd."

Edd: "That famous racer came through this morning. He waved to me. Wasn't he kind?"

Spike: "He's the finest racer in the world."

Narrator: "Replied Spike, then he told Edd what Garfield had said."

Edd: "Take no notice."

Narrator: "Soothed Edd."

Edd: "He's just jealous. He thinks no TV character should be famous, but him. Look, he's coming now."

Narrator: "Garfield was running fast. His feet pounded the road."

Garfield: "He did it, I'll do it. He did it, I'll do it!"

Narrator: "Garfield's line rocketed past, and was gone."

Spike: "He'll knock himself to bits!"

Narrator: "Chuckled Spike.

Garfield's driver eased him off."

Garfield's Driver: "Steady, Garfield. We aren't running a race."

Garfield: "We are, then."

Narrator: "Said Garfield, but he said it to himself.

Suddenly, Garfield began to feel a little strange."

Garfield: "My back end seems funny."

Narrator: "He thought."

Garfield: "It feels as if something is loose! I'd better go slower."

Narrator: "But it was too late.

On the viaduct, they met the wind. It was a teasing wind that blew suddenly at hard puffs. Garfield thought it wanted to push him off the bridge."

Garfield: "No, you don't!"

Narrator: "He said firmly.

But the wind had other ideas. It curled round his body, crept under his loose tail, and lifted off and away into the valley below.

Garfield was most uncomfortable. The cold wind was whistling through his body where his tail should be and he felt silly without it.

At the big station, the goombas laughed at him."

(Goombas laugh)

Narrator: "Garfield tried to shoo them away,"

(Goombas continue laughing)

Narrator: "But they crowded round, no matter what he did.

On the way back home, Garfield wanted his driver to stop and fetch his tail."

Garfield's Driver: "We'll never find it now."

Narrator: "Said the driver."

Garfield's Driver: "You'll have to go to the workshop for a new one."

Narrator: "Garfield was very cross."

Garfield: "I hope the house is empty tonight."

Narrator: "He huffed to himself. But all the TV characters were there waiting."

A Voice: "Never trust tailless racers."

Narrator: "Said a voice from somewhere behind him."

A Voice: "They aren't respectable."

Mario's Duck
Narrator: "Spike the Dragon worked hard in the yard at the big station.

Sometimes he worked with flowers, sometimes he worked with goombas. But whatever the work, Spike got the job done without fuss.

One day, Spike was resting in the house when Mayor Adam West arrived."

Mayor Adam West: "Your work in the yard has been good. Would you like to have a route for your own?"

Spike: "Yes, please sir."

Narrator: "Replied Spike.

So Spike took charge of his own route. The responsibility delighted him.

The route runs along the coast by sandy beaches till it meets a port where big ships come in.

Spike enjoyed exploring every curve and corner of the line. Sea breezes swirled his smoke high into the air, and his scales glistened in the sunlight."

Spike: "This is just like being on holiday."

Narrator: "He puffed."

Spike's Driver: "Well, you know what they say."

Narrator: "Laughed his driver."

Spike's Driver: "A change is as good as a rest."

Narrator: "Soon Spike was busier than ever.

Mayor West was building a new station at the port. Spike pushed the goombas wherever they were needed.

Ten Cents looked after Spike's passengers, and the other TV Characters helped too, but the work took a long time.

Noise and dust filled the air."

Grandpa Dave: "Don't worry."

Narrator: "Whistled Grandpa Dave."

Grandpa Dave: "The station's nearly finished."

Spike: "And on time too."

Narrator: "Said Spike thankfully.

Spike felt his responsibility deeply and talked endlessly about it."

Spike: "You don't understand, Mario, how much Mayor West relies on me."

Mario: "Och aye."

Narrator: "Muttered Mario sleepily."

Spike: "I'm a dragon and I..."

Mario: "Quack, quack, quack!"

Spike: "What?"

Mario: "Ye heard. Quack, quack ye go. Sounds like you'd an egg laid. Now wheesht and let a plumber sleep."

Spike: "Quack yourself!"

Narrator: "Said Spike indignantly.

Later he spoke to his driver."

Spike: "Mario says I quack as if I'd laid an egg."

Spike's Fireman: "Quack, do you?"

Narrator: "Pondered his fireman. He whispered something to Spike and his driver. They were going to play a joke on Mario and pay him back for teasing Spike.

The TV Characters were busy for the rest of the day and nothing more was said, not even a quack.

But when at last Mario was asleep, Spike's driver and fireman popped something into his pocket.

Next morning, when Mario stopped for water, he found that he had an unexpected passenger with him. A small white duckling popped out of his pocket."

Mario: "Na doot who's behind this."

Narrator: "Laughed Mario.

The duckling was tame. She shared the fireman's sandwiches, and rode on Mario. The other TV Characters enjoyed teasing Mario about her.

Presently, she grew tired of traveling and hopped off at a station, and there she stayed.

That night, Mario's driver and fireman got busy, and in the morning when Spike's crew arrived to look him over, they laughed and laughed."

Spike's Driver: "Look, Spike! Look what's behind you. It's a nest box with an egg in it!"

Narrator: "Mario opened a sleepy eye."

Mario: "Well, well, well. You must have laid it in the night, Spike. All unbeknownst."

Narrator: "Then Spike laughed too."

Spike: "You win, Mario. It'd take a clever TV Character to get the better of you."

Narrator: "There's a pond near the duckling's station. Here she often swims and welcomes the TV Characters as they pass by. The stationmaster calls her Dilly, but to everyone else, she is always Mario's Duck."

Bart and the Signal
Narrator: "Bart works in the yard at the big station.

He loves playing jokes, but they can get him into trouble.

One morning, he was very cheeky indeed."

Bart: "Hurry up, Garfield, the flowers are ready!"

Narrator: "Garfield thought he was late."

Bart: "Ha ha ha!"

Narrator: "Laughed Bart, and showed him a line of dirty goombas.

Garfield thought how to get back at Bart for teasing him.

Next, it was Schemer's turn."

Bart: "Stay in the house today, Schemer. Mayor Adam West will come and see you."

Schemer: "Ah,"

Narrator: "Thought Schemer."

Schemer: "Mayor West knows I'm a fine man. He wants me to deliver a special."

Narrator: "Schemer's driver and fireman could not make him move. The other TV Characters grumbled dreadfully. They had to do Schemer's work as well as their own.

At last, Mr. Ratburn arrived."

Mr. Ratburn: "Show a leg, Schemer. You can't stay here all day."

Schemer: "Mayor West told me to stay here. He sent a message this morning."

Mr. Ratburn: "He did not. How could he? He's away for a week."

Schemer: "Oh!"

Narrator: "Said Schemer."

Schemer: "Oh! Where's Bart?"

Narrator: "Bart had wisely disappeared.

When Mayor West came back, he was cross with Schemer and Bart for causing so much trouble.

But the very next day, Bart was still being cheeky.."

Bart: "I say, you TV Characters, I'm to take some goombas to RS Mr. Conductor's junction. Mayor West chose me especially. He must know I'm a really useful boy."

Schemer: "More likely, he wants you out the way."

Narrator: "Grunted Schemer.

Garfield looked across to Schemer. They were going to play a trick on Bart."

Garfield: "Schemer and I were just speaking about signals at the junction. We can't be too careful about signals, but then, I needn't say that to a really useful boy like you, Bart."

Narrator: "Bart felt flattered."

Schemer: "We have spoken of backing signals."

Narrator: "Put in Schemer."

Schemer: "They need extra special care, you know. Would you like me to explain?"

Bart: "No thank you, Schemer."

Narrator: "Said Bart."

Bart: "I know all about signals."

Narrator: "Bart was a little worried."

Bart: "I wonder what backing signals are."

Narrator: "He thought."

Bart: "Never mind, I'll manage."

Narrator: "He puffed crossly to his goombas, and felt better.

He came to a signal."

Bart: "Bother! It's at 'Danger'."

Narrator: "The signal moved to show 'Line Clear'. Its arm moved up, instead of down. Bart had never seen that sort of signal before."

Bart: "Down means 'Go', and up means 'Stop', so upper still must mean 'Go Back'. I know! It's one of those backing signals."

Bart's Driver: "Come on, Bart!"

Narrator: "Said his driver."

Bart's Driver: "Off we go. Stop! You're going the wrong way!"

Bart: "But it's a backing signal!"

Narrator: "Bart protested, and told him about Garfield and Schemer. The driver laughed, and explained."

Bart: "Oh, dear."

Narrator: "Said Bart."

Bart: "Let's start quickly before they see us."

Narrator: "He was too late. Garfield saw everything.

That night, the big TV Characters talked about signals.

They thought the subject was funny. Bart thought they were being very silly."

RS Mr. Conductor, Bart and the Mail
Narrator: "At night, when the other TV characters are tucked away in the houses, you can still hear the faraway call of a TV character, and the sound of feet moving.

This is the sound of the mail delivery. One set of mail is delivered by RS Mr. Conductor, and the other by Bart, as the loads are too heavy for one TV character to do the work alone. The mail is given to goombas at the harbor, and the TV characters pull their line through the silent stations delivering their precious loads.

On a clear night, a big shiny moon brightens their journey, but often RS Mr. Conductor and Bart can't even see the stars. But whatever the weather, lamps along the path always light their way.

One night, Bart was waiting at the junction. The main path line was late. At last, Homer arrived."

Homer: "Sorry."

Narrator: "He puffed."

Homer: "The mail boat from the mainland was delayed."

Bart's Driver: "Come on, Bart."

Narrator: "Said his driver."

Bart's Driver: "Let's make up for lost time."

Narrator: "Bart puffed along as quickly as he could, but the sun was already rising as he finished his work."

Bart: "Never mind."

Narrator: "Thought Bart."

Bart: "It's nice to be up and about when it's the start of a new day and there's no one else around."

Narrator: "Bart was not alone for long."

Bart: "Bother!"

Narrator: "Thought Bart."

Bart: "It's that dizzy thing, Budgie."

Budgie: "Good morning."

Narrator: "Whirled Budgie."

Budgie: "I always said roads were out of date, but you're so slow with the mail. You should give everyone their stamps back."

Narrator: "Bart was too tired to explained."

Bart: "Bird brain!"

Narrator: "He muttered."

Spike: "Good morning, Bart."

Narrator: "Called Spike."

Spike: "You're up early this morning."

Bart: "No, you're wrong."

Narrator: "Sighed Bart."

Bart: "I'm back tired and late."

Narrator: "He rolled into the house and fell asleep almost before his back touched the bed.

His driver decided to set off early that evening. RS Mr. Conductor was waiting at the station."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Thank goodness I have a chance to speak to you. Driver says that the person in charge of the mail has complained to Mayor Adam West about the delay last night."

Bart: "But that wasn't my fault."

Narrator: "Replied Bart."

RS Mr. Conductor: "I know."

Narrator: "Said RS Mr. Conductor."

RS Mr. Conductor: "And so does Mayor West, but this mail person wouldn't listen. Tonight, we'll just have to be quicker than ever before."

Narrator: "The TV characters were just leaving when they heard a familiar buzzing."

Budgie: "I say you two, there's news flying about."

Bart: "Where?"

Narrator: "Puffed Bart crossly."

Budgie: "All over the place. They're going to scrap your mail deliveries and use me instead. Wings work wonders, you know. Always."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Rubbish!"

Narrator: "Huffed RS Mr. Conductor.

That night, everything ran like clockwork. RS Mr. Conductor and Bart went through the stations, making good time everywhere they went.

At a station, RS Mr. Conductor saw a man looking cold and worried. He had missed his ride home."

RS Mr. Conductor's Driver: "We can give you a ride."

Narrator: "Said RS Mr. Conductor's driver."

RS Mr. Conductor's Driver: "But it'll be rather uncomfortable."

Eustace: "Thank you."

Narrator: "Said the man."

Eustace: "Anything's better than sitting here."

Narrator: "The next afternoon, Bart past the airfield and saw Budgie."

Bart: "Hello, lazy wings. Are you too tired to fly today?"

Budgie: "The wind's too strong."

Narrator: "Grumbled Budgie."

Budgie: "I've been grounded."

Bart: "You need roads."

Narrator: "Laughed Bart."

Bart: "They work wonders, you know. Always."

Narrator: "That night, Mayor Adam West showed the two TV characters a letter. It was from the man who missed his ride."

Mayor Adam West: "He thinks you are both splendid, and everyone says that the mail delivery is the pride of the path."