"Old" Nick

"He's alright I guess... but I'm way better"

- Rick Nitchick

"Yeah, he's cool, but his computer is slow as hell, mines fast as hell... no offense or anything"

- EX-General (Ryan) Price

""I sharwed my fwitos wit him at lwunch""

- Randall

Sir Admiral Marshal Doctor Professor Nick, better known as "Old Nick" or Kal El. Has been called an evil, moronic, time traveling alien from another dimension. Periodically he has shown up in popular media: MTV, the INTERNET, and even on 8-tracks.

Nick is labeled as a minor villain, and has been know for is love of Thompson submachine guns, flashy watches and pinstripe suits... and Bentley S1's of course. He is also known to be a notable author, director, Powerpoint maker, and a devout Catholic.

Name: Sir Admiral Marshal Doctor Professor Nick Place of Birth: Jupiter Species: Jupitorian Gender: Male Height: Depends on the amount of Plasma Weight: 135 lbs. Political Party: Communist Party Most Notable quotes:

"Are you insulting my intelligence?": Said just before the lens popped out of his glasses.

"Perhaps...": Usually followed by a request, such as: "we can make a deal"

"This Tim should not be here... he should not be about... her should not be here while Ms. Chambers it out." Usually followed by Tim saying: Quiet, you bumbling Babbling, Baffoon!!

Early Life--

As a pure blood Jupitorian, not a Martian or a Saturanian, he felt inclined to be the one to lead his planet and all of its inhabitants on an assault upon Earth and it "Humans". Just as he got there on a scouting mission, he soon realized that he was far too early... so early, that he found nothing on the earth except for dinosaurs and a robot. The robot was just a floppy disk at that point, but he later saw him in 'Nam. Nick nobly fought in all of the wars, always on the losing side.