Troublesome Goombas and Other Stories

Troublesome Goombas and Other Stories, later retitled RS Mr. Conductor Goes Fishing and Other Stories, is a TV/Thomas parody of the Thomas and Friends UK video, Troublesome Trucks and Other Stories/Thomas Goes Fishing and Other Stories. It features nine first season episodes from RS Mr. Conductor the Conductor and Friends narrated by Ringo Starr.

Cast

 * RS Mr. Conductor (from Shining Time Station) as Thomas
 * Edd (from Ed, Edd n Eddy) as Edward
 * Homer (from The Simpsons) as Henry
 * Garfield (from Garfield and Friends) as Gordon
 * Schemer (from Shining Time Station) as James
 * Bart (from The Simpsons) as Percy
 * Patty (from The Simpsons) as Annie
 * Selma (from The Simpsons) as Clarabel
 * Scooby Doo (from Scooby Doo) as Terence
 * Ten Cents (from TUGS) as Bertie
 * Mayor Adam West (from Family Guy) as Sir Topham Hatt
 * Principal Skinner (from The Simpsons) as The Inspector
 * Flowers (from Alice in Wonderland) as The Coaches
 * Goombas (from Mario) as The Troublesome Trucks
 * Mrs. Twombly (from Littlest Pet Shop (2012)) as Mrs. Kyndley (cameo)
 * Sally Acorn (from Sonic the Hedgehog) as The Storyteller (cameo)
 * Eustace (from Courage the Cowardly Dog) as Jeremiah Jobling (not named; mentioned)
 * Everyone else as Themselves

Episodes

 * 1) Troublesome Goombas
 * 2) Schemer and the Express
 * 3) RS Mr. Conductor and the Guard
 * 4) RS Mr. Conductor Goes Fishing
 * 5) RS Mr. Conductor, Scooby Doo and the Snow
 * 6) RS Mr. Conductor and Ten Cents
 * 7) Big TV Characters and Turntables
 * 8) Trouble in the House
 * 9) Bart Runs Away

Troublesome Goombas
Narrator: "Schemer had not seen Mayor Adam West for several days. He was left alone for being naughty and was not even allowed out to work with flowers or goombas in the yard."

Schemer: "Oh dear!"

Narrator: "He thought."

Schemer: "I shall have to stay in here for always and no one will see my splendid clothes again all because I went so fast that I made a hole in one of my flowers that had to be mended with, of all things, a passenger's bootlace."

Narrator: "At last, Mayor West arrived."

Mayor Adam West: "I see you are sorry, Schemer."

Narrator: "He said."

Mayor Adam West: "I hope now you will be a better man. You have given me a lot of trouble. People are laughing at my land and I don't like that at all."

Schemer: "I'm very sorry, sir."

Narrator: "Said Schemer."

Schemer: "I will try hard to behave."

Mayor Adam West: "That's a good man."

Narrator: "Said Mayor West."

Mayor Adam West: "I want you to take some goombas for me."

Narrator: "Schemer was delighted and puffed away."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Here are your goombas, Schemer."

Narrator: "Said RS Mr. Conductor."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Have you got some bootlaces ready?"

Narrator: "And he ran off laughing."

Goombas: "Uh-oh! Oh!"

Narrator: "Said the goombas."

Goombas: "We want a proper TV Character. Not a big monster."

Narrator: "Schemer took no notice and started as soon as the guard was ready."

Schemer: "Come along, come along."

Narrator: "He puffed."

Goombas: "We won't, we won't!"

Narrator: "Screamed the goombas. But Schemer didn't care and pull the screeching goombas sternly out of the station.

The goombas tried hard to make him give up, but he still kept on. Sometimes, they'd come to a standstill. And sometimes their feet would run hot. And each time, the trouble had to be put right. And each time, Schemer would start again determined not to let them beat him."

Goombas: "Give up, give up! You can't pull us! You can't, you can't!"

Narrator: "Called the goombas."

Schemer: "I can and I will! I can and I will!"

Narrator: "Puffed Schemer. Slowly but surely, he pulled them along the path.

At last they saw Garfield's Hill."

Schemer's Driver: "Look out for trouble, Schemer."

Narrator: "Warned his driver."

Schemer's Driver: "We'll go fast and get them up before they know it. Don't let them stop you."

Narrator: "So Schemer went faster and soon they were half way up."

Schemer: "I'm doing it, I'm doing it!"

Narrator: "He panted."

Schemer: "Will the top never come?"

Narrator: "Then, with a sudden jerk, it all came easier."

Schemer: "I've done it, I've done it!"

Narrator: "He puffed."

Schemer: "Hooray! It's easy now."

Narrator: "But he driver shut off steam."

Schemer's Driver: "They've done it again. We've left our tail behind. Look."

Narrator: "The last goombas were running backwards down the hill. The rope had snapped. But the guard stopped the goombas and got out to warn approaching TV Characters."

Schemer: "That's why it was easy."

Narrator: "Said Schemer, as he back the other goombas carefully down."

Schemer: "What silly things goombas are! There might had been an accident."

Edd: "Shall I help you, Schemer?"

Narrator: "Called Edd."

Schemer: "No, thank you."

Narrator: "Answered Schemer."

Schemer: "I'll pull them myself."

Edd: "Good. Don't let them beat you. You're doing well."

Narrator: "Whistled Edd, as Schemer slowly struggled up the hill."

Schemer: "I can do it, I can do it!"

Narrator: "He puffed. He pulled and puffed as hard as he could."

Schemer: "I've done it, I've done it!"

Narrator: "He panted.

They reach the station safely and Schemer was resting when Edd pulled up."

Edd: "Peep, peep!"

Narrator: "He whistled. Then, Schemer saw Mayor West."

Schemer: "Oh dear! What will he say?"

Narrator: "He asked himself.

But Mayor West was smiling."

Mayor Adam West: "I was with Edd and I saw everything."

Narrator: "He said."

Mayor Adam West: "You made the most troublesome goombas on the path behave. After that, you deserve to keep your favorite clothes."

Schemer and the Express
Narrator: "One night, Homer and Garfield were alone with Schemer. Although Mayor Adam West was beginning to think well of him, whenever a chance came, the other TV Characters would talk of nothing but bootlaces."

Homer and Garfield: "Remember the time one had to be used to get you out of trouble, Schemer?"

Narrator: "They would tease. Schemer tried to get his own back by talking about TV Characters who got shut up in tunnels and stuck on hill, but they wouldn't listen."

Garfield: "You talk too much little Schemer."

Narrator: "Said Garfield."

Garfield: "A fine strong cat like me has something to talk about. I'm the only TV Character who can take the express flowers. When I'm not there, they need two TV Characters. Think of that? I've taken express flowers for years and have never once lost my way. I seem to know the right path by instinct."

Narrator: "Every wise TV Character knows of course that the signalman makes the TV Characters run on the right path, but Garfield was so proud, he had forgotten."

Garfield: "Wake up, Schemer."

Narrator: "Said Garfield next morning."

Garfield: "It's nearly time for the express. What are you doing? Odd jobs? Ah well, we all have to begin somewhere, don't we? Run along and get my flowers. Don't be late."

Narrator: "Schemer went to fetch Garfield's flowers. They were all shiny with new petals. He was careful not to bump them, and they follow him smoothly into the station, singing happily,"

Flowers: "We're going away, we're going away."

Schemer: "I wish I was going with you."

Narrator: "Said Schemer."

Schemer: "I should love to take the express and go flying along the path."

Narrator: "Garfield, with much noise, got ready to back down onto the line.

Mayor West was with the flowers with other important people. And as soon so they heard the guard's whistle, Garfield started."

Garfield: "Look at me now, look at me now."

Narrator: "He puffed, as the flowers glided after him."

Garfield: "Goodbye little Schemer. See you tomorrow."

Narrator: "Schemer watch the line disappear and then went back to work. He pushed some goombas into their proper sidings, and went to fetch the flowers for another TV Character.

Schemer had just brought the flowers to the platform when he heard a mournful noise.

There was Garfield trying to sidle into the station without being noticed."

Schemer: "Hello, Garfield. Is it tomorrow?"

Narrator: "Asked Schemer. Garfield didn't answer, he just kicked at the ground feebly."

Schemer: "Did you lose your way, Garfield?"

Narrator: "Said Schemer."

Garfield: "No, it was lost for me. I turned off the main path and onto the loop. I had to go all around and back again."

Schemer: "Perhaps it was instinct."

Narrator: "Said Schemer.

Meanwhile, all the passengers hurried to the booking office."

Passengers: "We want our money back!"

Narrator: "They shouted. But Mayor West climbed onto a trolley, and blew the guard's whistle so loudly that they all stopped to look at him. Then he promised them a new TV Character at once."

Mayor Adam West: "Garfield can't do it. Will you take it for us, Schemer?"

Schemer: "Yes, sir. I'll try."

Narrator: "So Schemer was hooked up, and everyone got on."

Mayor Adam West: "Do your best, Schemer."

Narrator: "Said Mayor West."

Schemer: "Come along, come along."

Narrator: "Said Schemer."

Flowers: "You're pulling us well, you're pulling us well."

Narrator: "Sang the flowers.

Bridges and stations flashed by, the passengers cheered and they soon reached the station. Everyone said 'Thank you' to Schemer, and Mayor West was very impressed."

Mayor Adam West: "Well done!"

Narrator: "He said."

Mayor Adam West: "Would you like to take the express sometimes?"

Schemer: "Yes, please!"

Narrator: "Answered Schemer.

Next day, when Schemer came by, Garfield was pushing goombas."

Garfield: "I like some quiet work for a change."

Narrator: "He said."

Garfield: "I'm teaching these goombas manners. You did well with those flowers I hear. Good, we'll show them."

Narrator: "And he gave his goombas a bump.

Schemer and Garfield are now good friends. Schemer sometimes takes the express to give Garfield a rest. Garfield never talks about bootlaces, and they are both quite agreed on the subject of goombas."

RS Mr. Conductor and the Guard
Narrator: "RS Mr. Conductor is very proud of his route. He thinks it's the most important part of TV Land. His two sisters-in-law, Patty and Selma agree with him.

Patty can only take passengers, but Selma can take passengers, luggage and the guard. They are both old need new clothes, but RS Mr. Conductor loves them very much.

As they run backwards and forwards along the path, they sing songs to each other. When RS Mr. Conductor starts from a station, he sings,"

RS Mr. Conductor: "Oh, come along, we're rather late, oh, come along, we're rather late."

Narrator: "And the sisters-in-law sing,"

Patty and Selma: "We're coming along, we're coming along."

Narrator: "They don't mind what RS Mr. Conductor sings to them because they know he is trying to please Mayor Adam West. And they know too that if RS Mr. Conductor is cross, he's not cross with them.

One day, they had to wait for Homer's passengers, which made RS Mr. Conductor very cross."

RS Mr. Conductor: "How can I run my route properly if Homer's always late? He doesn't realize that Mayor West depends on me."

Narrator: "RS Mr. Conductor whistled impatiently. He wanted to leave, but he had to wait for Homer's passengers.

At last, Homer came."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Where have been lazybones?"

Narrator: "Asked RS Mr. Conductor."

Homer: "Oh dear, my body is out of order. No one understands my case. You don't know what I suffer."

Narrator: "Moaned Homer."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Rubbish!"

Narrator: "Said RS Mr. Conductor."

RS Mr. Conductor: "You're too fat! You need exercise!"

Narrator: "The guard blew his whistle, and RS Mr. Conductor started so quickly that he left him behind. The guard waved his red flag to stop RS Mr. Conductor, but he was well on his way hurrying out of the station."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Come along, come along."

Narrator: "Puffed RS Mr. Conductor. But Selma didn't want to come."

Selma: "I've lost my nice guard, I've lost my nice guard."

Narrator: "She sobbed.

Patty tried to tell RS Mr. Conductor what had happened."

Patty: "We haven't a guard, we haven't a guard!"

Narrator: "But he was hurrying and wouldn't listen. Patty and Selma tried to stop, but they couldn't without the guard."

Patty and Selma: "Where is our guard? Where is our guard?"

Narrator: "They cried. But RS Mr. Conductor didn't stop till they came to a signal."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Bother that signal!"

Narrator: "Said RS Mr. Conductor."

RS Mr. Conductor: "What's the matter?"

RS Mr. Conductor's Driver: "I don't know."

Narrator: "Said his driver."

RS Mr. Conductor's Driver: "The guard will tell us in a minute."

Narrator: "They waited and waited, but the guard didn't come."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Peep, peep, peep! Where is the guard?"

Narrator: "Whistled RS Mr. Conductor."

Patty and Selma: "We've left him behind."

Narrator: "Sobbed Patty and Selma together.

Everyone looked, and there was the guard running as fast as he could along the path with his flags in one hand and his whistle in the other. He was very hot. So he had a drink, and told them all about it."

RS Mr. Conductor: "I'm very sorry, Mr. Guard."

Narrator: "Said RS Mr. Conductor."

Guard: "It wasn't your fault, RS Mr. Conductor."

Narrator: "He replied."

Guard: "Look, the signal is down. We can go. Let's make up for lost time."

Narrator: "Patty and Selma were so pleased to have their guard again that they sang,"

Patty and Selma: "As fast as you like, as fast as you like."

Narrator: "To RS Mr. Conductor all the way.

They reached the end of the route quicker than ever before."

RS Mr. Conductor Goes Fishing
Narrator: "When RS Mr. Conductor walked along his path, he always looked forward to something special...the sight of the river. As he rumbled over he bridge, he would see people fishing. RS Mr. Conductor often wanted to stay and watch. But his driver said,"

RS Mr. Conductor's Driver: "No. What would Mayor Adam West say if we were late?"

Narrator: "Every time he met another TV Character, he would say,"

RS Mr. Conductor: "I want to fish."

Narrator: "But they all had the same answer."

Schemer: "Conductors don't go fishing."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Silly stick-in-the-muds."

Narrator: "Thought RS Mr. Conductor.

One day he stopped as usual to get a drink of water at the station by the river."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Out of order! Bother!"

Narrator: "Said RS Mr. Conductor."

RS Mr. Conductor: "I'm thirsty."

RS Mr. Conductor's Driver: "Never mind."

Narrator: "Said his driver."

RS Mr. Conductor's Driver: "We'll get some water from the river."

Narrator: "They found a bucket and some rope, and went to the bridge.

Then the driver let the bucket down to the water. The bucket was old and had five holes. So they had to fill it, pull it up and give it to RS Mr. Conductor as quickly as they could several times over.

They finished at last."

RS Mr. Conductor: "That's good. That's good."

Narrator: "Puffed RS Mr. Conductor. And Patty and Selma ran happily behind.

Suddenly RS Mr. Conductor began to feel a pain in his body. Gold dust began to come from him in an alarming way."

RS Mr. Conductor's Driver: "There's too much gold dust."

Narrator: "Said his driver."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Oh dear!"

Narrator: "Groaned RS Mr. Conductor."

RS Mr. Conductor: "I'm going to burst! I'm going to burst!"

Narrator: "They fanned away the gold dust and struggled on."

RS Mr. Conductor: "I've got such a pain. I've got such a pain."

Narrator: "RS Mr. Conductor hissed.

They stopped just outside the last station, unhooked Patty and Selma, and ran RS Mr. Conductor, who was still hissing fit to burst, on a siding right out of the way.

Then, while the guard telephoned for a conductor inspector, the driver found notices in large letter which he hung on RS Mr. Conductor in front and behind.

DANGER. KEEP AWAY.

Soon Principal Skinner and Mayor West arrived."

Mayor Adam West and Principal Skinner: "Cheer up, RS Mr. Conductor."

Narrator: "They said."

Mayor Adam West and Principal Skinner: "We'll soon put you right."

Narrator: "The driver told them what had happened."

Principal Skinner: "So his stomach is too full."

Narrator: "Said Skinner."

Principal Skinner: "I'll just look inside."

Narrator: "He peered inside. Then he turned to Mayor West."

Principal Skinner: "Excuse me, sir. Please look inside and tell me what you see."

Mayor Adam West: "Certainly, Skinner."

Narrator: "Replied Mayor West. He looked in and nearly fell down in surprise."

Mayor Adam West: "Skinner,"

Narrator: "He whispered."

Mayor Adam West: "Can you see fish?

Gracious goodness me. How did the fish get there, driver?"

RS Mr. Conductor's Driver: "We must have fished them from the river with our bucket."

Narrator: "Replied RS Mr. Conductor's driver."

Mayor Adam West: "Well, RS Mr. Conductor. So you and your driver have been fishing. But fish don't suit you. We must get them out."

Narrator: "They all took turns at fishing in RS Mr. Conductor while Mayor West looked on and told them how to do it. When they had caught all the fish, they had a lovely picnic supper of fish and chips."

Mayor Adam West: "Hmmm. That was good."

Narrator: "Said Mayor West."

Mayor Adam West: "But fish don't suit you, RS Mr. Conductor. So you mustn't do it again."

RS Mr. Conductor: "No sir, I won't."

Narrator: "Said RS Mr. Conductor sadly."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Conductors don't go fishing. It's too uncomfortable."

RS Mr. Conductor, Scooby Doo and the Snow
Narrator: "Autumn had come to TV Land. The fields were changing from yellow stubble to brown earth, and a dog was hard at work as RS Mr. Conductor puffed along.

Later, RS Mr. Conductor saw the dog close by."

Scooby Doo: "Hello."

Narrator: "Said the dog."

Scooby Doo: "I'm Scooby Doo. I'm plowing."

RS Mr. Conductor: "I'm RS Mr. Conductor. My sisters-in-law and I are taking passengers. What ugly feet you've got."

Scooby Doo: "They're not ugly! They're paws."

Narrator: "Said Scooby Doo."

Scooby Doo: "I can go anywhere. I don't need the road."

RS Mr. Conductor: "I don't want to go anywhere."

Narrator: "Said RS Mr. Conductor."

RS Mr. Conductor: "I like my road, thank you."

Narrator: "Winter came with dark clouds full of snow."

RS Mr. Conductor's Driver: "I don't like it."

Narrator: "Said RS Mr. Conductor's Driver."

RS Mr. Conductor's Driver: "A heavy fall is coming. I hope it doesn't stop us."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Puh!"

Narrator: "Said RS Mr. Conductor."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Soft stuff. Nothing to it."

Narrator: "And he puffed on, feeling cold but confident.

They finished their journey safely, but by now, the country was covered."

RS Mr. Conductor's Driver: "You'll need your snow boots for the next journey, RS Mr. Conductor."

Narrator: "Said his driver."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Puh! Snow is silly soft stuff. It won't stop me."

Narrator: "The snow boots were heavy and uncomfortable and made RS Mr. Conductor cross. He shook them, and he banged them, and when he got back, they were so damaged that the driver had to take them off."

RS Mr. Conductor's Driver: "You're a very naughty conductor!"

Narrator: "He said to RS Mr. Conductor.

Next morning, RS Mr. Conductor's driver and fireman came early, and worked hard to mend the snow boots, but they couldn't make them fit.

RS Mr. Conductor was pleased."

RS Mr. Conductor: "I shan't have to wear them! I shan't have to wear them!"

Narrator: "He puffed to Patty and Selma. But they were rather worried."

Patty and Selma: "I hope it's all right. I hope it's all right."

Narrator: "They whispered to each other.

The driver was worried, too."

RS Mr. Conductor's Driver: "It's not bad here,"

Narrator: "He said to the fireman."

RS Mr. Conductor's Driver: "But it's sure to be deep in the valley!"

RS Mr. Conductor: "Silly soft stuff."

Narrator: "Puffed RS Mr. Conductor."

RS Mr. Conductor: "I didn't need those stupid things yesterday, and I shan't today. Snow can't stop me!"

Narrator: "He rushed into a tunnel, thinking how clever he was, but there was trouble ahead."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Gold dust and whistles!"

Narrator: "Said RS Mr. Conductor."

RS Mr. Conductor: "I'm stuck!"

Narrator: "And he was.

RS Mr. Conductor's Driver: "Back, RS Mr. Conductor, back!"

Narrator: "Said his driver.

RS Mr. Conductor tried, but his feet spun and he couldn't move.

The guard went back for help, while everyone else tried to dig the snow away. But as fast as they dug, more snow slid down until RS Mr. Conductor was nearly buried."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Oh my legs and hands! I shall have to stop here till' I'm frozen. What a silly conductor I am!"

Narrator: "And RS Mr. Conductor began to cry.

At last, a tug came to rescue the passengers, and then, who should come to RS Mr. Conductor's rescue but Scooby Doo! Snow never worries him.

He pulled the sisters-in-law away, then came back for RS Mr. Conductor.

RS Mr. Conductor's feet were clear, but still spun when he tried to move.

Scooby Doo tugged and slipped and slipped and tugged, and at last dragged RS Mr. Conductor clear of the snow, ready for the journey home."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Thank you, Scooby Doo. Your paws are splendid."

Narrator: "Said RS Mr. Conductor."

RS Mr. Conductor's Driver: "I hope you'll be sensible now, RS Mr. Conductor."

Narrator: "Said his driver."

RS Mr. Conductor: "I'll try."

Narrator: "Said RS Mr. Conductor, and he puffed humbly away."

RS Mr. Conductor and Ten Cents
Narrator: "RS Mr. Conductor was waiting at a junction when a tug arrived."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Hello,"

Narrator: "Said RS Mr. Conductor."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Who are you?"

Ten Cents: "I'm Ten Cents. Who are you?"

RS Mr. Conductor: "I'm RS Mr. Conductor. I run this route."

Ten Cents: "So you're RS Mr. Conductor, eh? I remember now. You got stuck in the snow. I took your passengers and Scooby Doo the Dog pulled you out. I've come to help you with your passengers today."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Help me?"

Narrator: "Said RS Mr. Conductor."

RS Mr. Conductor: "I can go faster than you."

Ten Cents: "You can't."

Narrator: "Said Ten Cents."

RS Mr. Conductor: "I can!"

Narrator: "Huffed RS Mr. Conductor."

Ten Cents: "I'll race you."

Narrator: "Said Ten Cents.

Their drivers agreed to the race going ahead.

The stationmaster said,

Stationmaster: "Are you ready? Go!"

Narrator: "RS Mr. Conductor never could go fast at first, and Ten Cents drew in front.

Patty and Selma: "Why don't you go fast? Why don't you go fast?"

Narrator: "Called Patty and Selma."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Wait and see, wait and see."

Narrator: "Hissed RS Mr. Conductor."

Patty and Selma: "He's a long way ahead!"

Narrator: "They wailed.

But RS Mr. Conductor didn't mind. He'd remembered the level crossing.

There was Ten Cents, waiting at the gates, while they sailed gaily through."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Goodbye, Ten Cents!"

Narrator: "Called RS Mr. Conductor.

After that, the path left the river, so they couldn't see Ten Cents.

Then, they had to stop at the station to let off passengers."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Peep peep peep! Quickly, please!"

Narrator: "Called RS Mr. Conductor, and off they went again."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Come along, come along!"

Narrator: "Sang RS Mr. Conductor."

Patty and Selma: "We're coming along, we're coming along!"

Narrator: "Sang Patty and Selma."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Hurry, hurry, hurry!"

Narrator: "Panted RS Mr. Conductor, then he looked ahead. There was Ten Cents, tooting triumphantly on his whistle."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Oh, dearie me. Oh, dearie me."

Narrator: "Groaned RS Mr. Conductor."

RS Mr. Conductor's Driver: "Steady, RS Mr. Conductor."

Narrator: "Said his driver."

RS Mr. Conductor's Driver: "We'll beat Ten Cents yet."

Patty and Selma: "We'll beat Ten Cents yet, we'll beat Ten Cents yet."

Narrator: "Echoed Patty and Selma."

RS Mr. Conductor: "We'll do it, we'll do it."

Narrator: "Panted RS Mr. Conductor."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Oh, bother! There's a station."

Narrator: "Then, he heard Ten Cents."

Ten Cents: "Goodbye, RS Mr. Conductor! You must be tired. Sorry I can't stop. We tugs have to work, you know. Good-bye."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Oh, dear."

Narrator: "Thought RS Mr. Conductor."

RS Mr. Conductor: "We've lost."

Narrator: "But he felt better after a drink.

The signal dropped."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Hurrah, we're off! Hurrah, we're off!"

Narrator: "Puffed RS Mr. Conductor.

As they crossed the bridge, they heard an impatient 'Toot! Toot!'.

There was Ten Cents, waiting at the traffic lights.

He started with a roar, and chased on after RS Mr. Conductor again.

Now, RS Mr. Conductor reached his full speed. Ten Cents tried hard, but RS Mr. Conductor was too fast.

Whistling triumphantly, he plunged into the tunnel, leaving Ten Cents far behind."

RS Mr. Conductor: "I've done it! I've done it!"

Narrator: "Panted RS Mr. Conductor."

Patty and Selma: "We've done it, hooray! We've done it, hooray!"

Narrator: "Chanted Patty and Selma, as they whooshed into the last station.

Everyone was there to celebrate RS Mr. Conductor's victory, but they gave Ten Cents a big welcome, too."

Ten Cents: "Well done, RS Mr. Conductor!"

Narrator: "Said Ten Cents."

Ten Cents: "That was fun. But to beat you over that hill, I should have to grow wings and be an airplane!"

Narrator: "They now keep each other very busy. They often talk about their race. But Ten Cents' passengers don't like being bounced like peas in a frying pan, and Mayor Adam West has warned RS Mr. Conductor not to race at dangerous speeds, so although, between you and me, they would like to have another race, I don't think they ever will, do you?"

Big TV Characters and Turntables
Narrator: "Homer and Garfield were lonely when RS Mr. Conductor left the yard to run his route. They missed him very much. They had more work to do and had to fetch their own flowers. They didn't like that.

Schemer grumbled too."

Homer, Garfield and Schemer: "We get no rest, we get no rest!"

Narrator: "They all complained, but the flowers only laughed."

Flowers: "You're lazy and slack, you're lazy and slack."

Narrator: "They answered.

All together, the TV Characters were causing Mayor Adam West a great deal of trouble.

The big stations at both ends of the route each have a turntable. Mayor West had made them so that the big TV Characters can be turned around, because it is dangerous for them to go fast backwards.

Little TV Characters, like RS Mr. Conductor, don't need turntables. They can go just as well backwards as forwards. But to hear Garfield talk, you would have thought that Mayor West had made him big just to show how important he was."

Garfield: "You don't understand, little RS Mr. Conductor. We big TV Characters have a position to keep up. It doesn't matter where you go, but we are important. And for Mayor West to make us arrange goombas, fetch flowers and go on some of those dirty sidings. It's... it's... well, it's not the proper thing."

Narrator: "RS Mr. Conductor chuckled, and went off with Patty and Selma."

Garfield: "Disgraceful!"

Narrator: "Garfield hissed, as he went backwards to the turntable.

The turntable was in a windy place close to the sea. And if he was not on it just right, he put it out of balance and made it difficult to turn. Today, Garfield was in a bad temper, and the wind was blowing fiercely. His driver tried to make him stop in the right place, but Garfield wasn't trying. The fireman tried to turn the handle, but Garfield's weight and the strong winds prevented him."

Garfield's Driver and Fireman: "It's no good."

Narrator: "They said at last."

Garfield's Driver and Fireman: "You upset the balance. If you were a nice little TV Character, you'd be alright. Now, you'll have to take the next line of flowers backwards."

Boys: "Look!"

Narrator: "Called some boys."

Boys: "There's a new little TV Character. Oh, it's only Garfield back to front."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Hello."

Narrator: "Called RS Mr. Conductor."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Playing little TV Characters? Sensible cat. Take my advice, lose some weight and have a nice conductor outfit."

Narrator: "Garfield said nothing.

Even Schemer laughed when he saw him."

Garfield: "Take care."

Narrator: "Hissed Garfield."

Garfield: "You might stick too."

Schemer: "No fear."

Narrator: "Chuckled Schemer."

Schemer: "I'm not so fat as you.

I mustn't stick."

Narrator: "Thought Schemer. He stopped on just the right place to balance to the table. It could now swing easily.

Garfield arrived in time to see everything.

Schemer turned much too easily. The wind puffed him round like a top. He couldn't stop."

Garfield: "Well, well."

Narrator: "Said Garfield."

Garfield: "Are you playing roundabouts?"

Narrator: "Poor Schemer, feeling quite giddy, rolled off into the house without a word.

That night, the three TV Characters had an indignation meeting."

Garfield: "It's shameful to treat big TV Characters like this! Garfield has to go backwards and people think he's a little TV Character, Schemer spins round like a top and everyone laughs at us. And to add to that, Mayor West makes us all arrange in dirty sidings. Ugh!

Listen,"

Narrator: "Said Garfield. He whispered something to the others."

Garfield: "We'll do it tomorrow. Mayor West will look silly!"

Narrator: "The TV Characters had decided to go on strike."

Trouble in the House
Narrator: "Mayor Adam West sat in his office listening to the noise outside. The passengers were angry. The stationmaster came in."

Stationmaster: "There's trouble in the house, sir. Homer is sulking, there are no flowers and the passengers are saying this is a bad land."

Mayor Adam West: "Indeed."

Narrator: "Said Mayor West."

Mayor Adam West: "We cannot allow that."

Narrator: "He found Garfield, Schemer and Homer looking very cross."

Mayor Adam West: "Come along, Homer. It's time your flowers are ready."

Garfield: "Homer's not going!"

Narrator: "Said Garfield."

Garfield: "We won't arrange like common TV Characters. That was RS Mr. Conductor's job. We are important big TV Characters. You fetch our flowers, and we will take them. Big TV Characters don't arrange!"

Mayor Adam West: "Oh, indeed!"

Narrator: "Said Mayor West."

Mayor Adam West: "We'll see about that. Characters on my land do as they are told."

Narrator: "And he hurried away to find Edd."

Mayor Adam West: "The yard's never been the same since RS Mr. Conductor left to run his route."

Narrator: "He thought sadly.

Edd was arranging goombas."

Mayor Adam West: "Leave those goombas please, Edd."

Narrator: "Said Mayor West."

Mayor Adam West: "I want you to fetch flowers for me in the yard."

Edd: "Thank you, sir. That will be a nice change."

Mayor Adam West: "That's a good kid. Off you go then."

Narrator: "So Edd found flowers for the big TV Characters and that day the lines ran as usual.

But next morning, Edd looked unhappy. Garfield came clanking past kicking dirt as usual."

Mayor Adam West: "Bless me!"

Narrator: "Said Mayor West."

Mayor Adam West: "What a noise!"

Edd: "They all kicked dirt at me, sir."

Narrator: "Answered Edd."

Edd: "They say big TV Characters don't arrange, and last night, they said I have black shoes. I haven't, have I sir?"

Mayor Adam West: "No, Edd. You have nice blue ones, and I'm proud of you. Big TV Characters do arrange. But all the same, we do need another little TV Character here."

Narrator: "We went to a workshop, and they showed him all sorts of characters.

At last, we saw a nice little boy with a red shirt."

Mayor Adam West: "That's the one."

Narrator: "He thought."

Mayor Adam West: "If I choose you, will you work hard?"

Bart: "Oh, sir. Yes, sir."

Mayor Adam West: "That's a good character. I'll call you 'Bart'."

Bart: "Yes, sir. Thank you, sir."

Narrator: "Said Bart. And Mayor West brought him back to the yard."

Mayor Adam West: "Edd,"

Narrator: "He called."

Mayor Adam West: "Here's Bart. Will you show him everything?"

Narrator: "Bart soon learned what he had to do, and they had a happy afternoon.

Then, Homer came by, kicking as usual."

Bart: "Wheesh!"

Narrator: "Went Bart. Homer jumped and ran back to the house."

Edd: "How beautifully you wheeshed him."

Narrator: "Laughed Edd."

Edd: "I can't wheesh like that."

Bart: "Oh."

Narrator: "Said Bart."

Bart: "That's nothing. You should here them in the workshop. You have to wheesh loudly to make yourself heard."

Narrator: "Next morning, RS Mr. Conductor arrived."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Mayor West sent for me. I expect he wants help."

Narrator: "He said to Edd."

Edd: "Sh. Here he comes."

Narrator: "Replied Edd."

Mayor Adam West: "Well done, RS Mr. Conductor. You've been quick. Listen, Homer, Garfield and Schemer are sulking. They say they won't arrange like common TV Characters. So I have shut them up, and I want you both to run the path for a while."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Common TV Characters, indeed!"

Narrator: "Snorted RS Mr. Conductor."

RS Mr. Conductor: "We'll show them!"

Mayor Adam West: "And Bart will help too."

Bart: "Oh, sir. Yes, sir. Please, sir."

Narrator: "Answered Bart.

Edd and RS Mr. Conductor worked the main path, greeting each other as they pass by. Bart puffed along the branch path. RS Mr. Conductor was anxious about Patty and Selma, but both driver and guard promised to take care of them.

There were fewer lines of flowers, but the passengers didn't mind. They knew that three other TV Characters were having a lesson.

Garfield, Schemer and Homer were cold, lonely and miserable. They wished now they hadn't been so silly."

Bart Runs Away
Narrator: "Homer, Schemer and Garfield were miserable. They had been shut up for several day for being naughty, and long to be let out again.

At last, Mayor Adam West arrived."

Mayor Adam West: "I hope you are sorry."

Narrator: "He said."

Mayor Adam West: "And understand that you are not so important after all. We have a new TV Character called Bart, who helps pull flowers, and RS Mr. Conductor and Edd have worked the main path nicely. But I will let you out now if you promise to be good."

Homer, Garfield and Schemer: "Yes, sir."

Narrator: "Said the three TV Characters."

Homer, Garfield and Schemer: "We will."

Mayor Adam West: "That's right, but please remember that this no arranging nonsense must stop."

Narrator: "He then told Bart, Edd and RS Mr. Conductor that they can go and play on the branch path for a few days. And they ran off happily to find Patty and Selma at the junction.

The two sisters-in-law were so pleased to see RS Mr. Conductor again.

Edd and Bart played with the goombas."

Goombas: "Stop, stop, stop!"

Narrator: "Screamed the goombas, as they were pushed into their proper sidings, but the two TV Characters laughed and went on arranging till the goombas were tightly arranged.

Next, Edd took some goombas to the quarry. Bart was left alone. He didn't mind that a bit. He liked watching TV Characters and being cheeky to them."

Bart: "Hurry, hurry, hurry!"

Narrator: "He would call, and they got very cross.

After a great deal of arranging, Bart was waiting for the signalman to set the path so that he can get back to the yard. He was eager, but was being rather careless and not paying attention. Edd had warned Piglet."

Edd: "Be careful on the main path. Whistle to the signalman you are there."

Narrator: "But Bart didn't remember to whistle, so the busy signalman forgot him.

Bart waited and waited. The path was still against him so he couldn't move. Then he looked along the main path."

Bart: "Peep, peep!"

Narrator: "He whistled in horror, for rushing straight towards him was Garfield with the express."

Garfield: "Ohhh!"

Narrator: "Groaned Garfield."

Garfield: "Get out of my way!"

Narrator: "Bart opened his eyes. Garfield had stopped just a few inches from him. But Bart had began to move."

Bart: "I won't stay here. I'll run away!"

Narrator: "He puffed.

He ran straight through Edd's station, and was so frightened that he ran right up Garfield's hill without stopping.

After that, he was tired, but he couldn't stop. He had no driver to stop him."

Bart: "I want to stop, I want to stop."

Narrator: "He puffed.

The man in the signalbox saw that Bart was in trouble. So kindly, he set the path. Bart puffed wearily onto a nice empty siding, ending in a big bank of earth. He was too tired now to care where he want."

Bart: "I want to stop, I want to stop. I have stopped."

Narrator: "He puffed thankfully."

Workmen: "Never mind, Bart."

Narrator: "Said the workmen, as they dug him out."

Workmen: "You shall have a drink and a snack, and then you'll feel better."

Narrator: "Presently, Garfield arrived."

Garfield: "Well done, Bart. You started so quickly that you stopped a nasty accident."

Bart: "I'm sorry I was cheeky."

Narrator: "Said Bart."

Bart: "You were clever to stop."

Narrator: "Then Garfield helped pull Bart out from the bank.

Bart is still cheeky because he is that sort of TV Character, but he is always most careful when he goes out on the main path."