Tell All Your Gods I Want To Speak To Their Fathers

The Hotdog Man
On our campus, just past the student center, locked away in little room with only one window that faces the back quad, there lives what I can only refer to as "The Hotdog Man" (I don't know his real name, otherwise I could refer to him by that). But there he dwells, day-in and day-out, twenty four hours a day -- between the hours of 9am and 6pm. But it's only there you can find him, and only those brave enough to peer through his tiny window who can beckon him. But be weary, fore if you beckon him without the proper knowledge of his most peculiar procedure, then it can hold up the line and thus become very awkward.

The procedure is as follows: You will lean in towards his dirty, ancient, month old window and speak softly the greeting, "Hey..." and he will slowly turn to you with those moderately beady, moderately piercing eyes and speak to you in his ancient language of English, "Yeah, what can I get you?" (or something along those lines). And you will answer "one (or two!) hotdogs" He will then nod and retreat into his room to begin the hotdog grilling procedure and then extend his open hand out to you and if you're brave enough... You'll place $3 into his hand. Then you must wait, patient as a monk, for a minute or so until he retrieves your hotdog for you. And as you walk away and dress your hotdog to prepare for the fruits of your labor, you know you've truly won.

The Library Fortress
Guarding the South side of San Francisco State University is a futuristic compound standing six or seven stories tall. They refer to it as the Library, and what was a beautiful, idealistic place in theory, is now a fuming cold hearted dystopia. A complete brick of a tower, held together with concrete and misery. And inside... It only gets worse. Young faces, once starved for knowledge, slump back in chairs now starving for exits. But exits are near impossible to find; buried behind the endless stacks of old volumed books stripped of any pictures of an outside world. The students locked away, prisoners, bound to their assignments and forced into silence--stripped of their amendment rights (1st AND 2nd).

And the keepers of the library? Well, they're none other than the cyborgs originally designed to assist the knowledge seeking. Now they are the key masters, and the keepers of voices--the keepers of misery. Something must have gone wrong with their programming, unfortunately, nobody who enters can keep consciously focused long enough to find out. It can only be said to everyone to beware the treacherous fortress of "Library".

SFSU Library

The MySpace & Facebook Lounges
Throughout campus, the school has set up numerous different computer labs so that at any time of the day, students can keep tabs on their myspaces and their facebooks. All one needs is to be a registered student to be granted access to one of these satellite myspace/facebook computers. The school has made things truly convinent for all of its students. Of course, it can't keep eyes on every computer, and sometimes freeloaders will slip in through the cracks. Vandals using these myspace and facebook computers to work on school assignments like essays or editing projects. It's amazing how disrespectful some students can be with taking computers away from true and diligent myspace and facebookers. The Dean is currently in work of a project to ban these "school-aholics" once and for all, in an effort to win back the computers for their true intention-- to provide to the second notification of 'new picture comments' and 'pokes'.

Myspace

Facebook