Trashland

Trashland is the way that Rachele explains the world of Earth and it's reality. In her words, "Everything sucks here. nothing that i do is ever enough.  i am constantly in a game where appearances matter and people are eating one another." well, trashland is a place that rachele tried to explain to John. it's like this. you reach the end of the odyssey and you want more. where is my more? and so, perfection is boring. john called rachele a fool. trashland is the world of no more. more is there as in more to do. maybe trashland is not so bad if one thinks that there is a project one by one. there is never an end. there is work even in heaven. maybe life is about pleasurable work.

mindless work
but what about mindless work? work that i am not really into? what about when i worked at jack in the box? i didnt like my job. it was repetitive. i dont like work that i dont feel i am progressing or learning in. i like to use my head and not just my hands. but not too much of my head. i dont understand philosophy when the writing is too technical that it gets boring. i dont have patience for anything. which brings me to motivation.

lack of motivation
becuase trashland is so full of trash it is not unusual to fall asleep after doing something for a short period of time although i have just started doing it and just ended a nap from something horrifically boring before. i dont know why boring things make me so tired but they do! am i hot enough? am i rough enough? i love that song. things that are good energize rachele. things that are boring tire her.

clothes
in trashland clothes is a big issue. what she wears tells people that she is conservative. one said it looks like she would have clean room. rachele does not like cleaning her room. but it could be that there is too much clothes on her floor that she does not want anymore. when rachele walks into a store she does not know what to get. would that look good on me? i dont know she would think. she would try it on. and would probably not like it. more trashy clothes? probably. but the places she likes to buy clothes at is narrowing down! and getting more expensive. what happened to some less expensive clothes that is immaculately made with elaborate designs? because the clothes rachele likes is so expensive she has to quit shopping as often as she does to save for the few outfits she can get throughout the year. but then when she gets it she doesnt know how to take care of it and it gets wrinkled and trampled on her floor of her room. she does not care about clothes either! then what does she care about?

what to care about in trashland
there is not much to care about. there is family. but she does not get along with them. they are always treating her like a child. telling her what to do and never enter a real conversation where what the parents believe are not god's rules. there is no disagreeing with rachele's parents for rachele or anyone in rachele's world. this depresses her for they do not like Paul her drama professor. and she does. he makes her feel alive. he is so different from normal people. and some say that rachele is an eccentric. so what does rachele do every day? she journals a fantasy away from trashland and into a realm of the mind where fantasy reigns. she imagines being with her beloved Robert and what they would do together if they were ever in that world for in Trashland Robert and Rachele will never be together because robert does not like her. maybe that is why the world seems like trash.

appearances
is it true that trashland is only trash because robert is not in rachele's world except for in her imagination? she will never know for she was once friends with robert on myspace but he blocked her letters and put his profile on private after she gave him a cat balloon since he likes cats and a cat card and gave it to one of his good friends Seth who is shyer than robert is.

the results of trashland on rachele
rachele is really depressed. i just cant believe that this is what reality is all about and how people can go on in it. maybe people dont like me. my psychologist said that i am beautiful and smart but then why do i have no friends? they dont answer their phones but text message me. i thought a lot about suicide and thinking back in the box of trashland makes me depressed once again. i cant handle this world. i must go away to my heavenly fantasy. where everything i think rules rightly. there i can dream of cascades and beauty not trash.