T.V. Medley (Family Guy)/Barney

T.V. Medley (Family Guy)/Barney is a parody with T.V. Medley music for Track 9 on this album and Barney and Friends sounds.

Cast

 * Stewie Griffin as Jason (from TV Series)
 * Brian Griffin as Kenneth
 * Meg Griffin as Min
 * Chris Griffin as BJ
 * Lois Griffin as Tosha

Lyrics
Jason: ♪Now the world don't move♪


 * ♪To the beat of just one drum.♪
 * ♪What might be right for you.
 * ♪May not be right for some.♪

Kenneth: ♪A man is born,♪


 * ♪He's a man of means.♪
 * ♪Then along come two.♪
 * ♪They've got nothing but their jeans.♪

Jason: But Kenneth, ♪They've got Different Strokes♪


 * ♪It takes Different Strokes♪
 * ♪It takes Different Strokes to move the world.♪

Kenneth: That's true, but you know, Jason,


 * ♪Everybody's got a special kind of story♪

Jason: ♪Everybody finds a way to shine.♪

Kenneth: ♪But no matter that you got not a lot.♪

Jason: So what?

Kenneth: ♪They'll have theirs and you'll have yours and I'll have mine.♪

'Kenneth and 'Jason: ♪And together we'll be fine.♪

Jason: ♪'Cause it takes Different Strokes to move the world.♪

Kenneth: Yes it does.

Jason: ♪It takes Different Strokes to move the world.♪

{Applause}

Jason: Hey, hey, why the frown, Kenneth?

Kenneth: Ah, I finished my drink.

Jason: Oh, no.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">Kenneth: Yeah it's empty, that always gets me depressed.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">Jason: Oh come on, Kenneth, why don't you


 * ♪Show me that smile again♪

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">Kenneth: Oh, I don't know.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">Jason: ♪Don't waste another minute on your crying.♪

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">Kenneth: Mmm...

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">Jason: ♪We're nowhere near the end.♪

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">Kenneth: That sucks.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">Jason: ♪The best is ready to begin.♪ Ooo-ooo-ooo-oooh!

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">Kenneth: ♪As long as we got each other♪

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">Jason: Right you are.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">Kenneth: ♪We got the world spinning right in our hands.♪


 * ♪Baby you and me♪

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">Jason: We've got to be...

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">'Kenneth and 'Jason: ♪The luckiest dreamers who never quit dreamin'.♪


 * ♪As long as we keep on giving.♪

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">Jason: We can take any crap that comes our way.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">Kenneth: ♪Baby rain or shine♪

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">Jason ♪All the time♪

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">'Kenneth and 'Jason: ♪We got each other♪


 * ♪Sharin' the laughter♪
 * ♪And love.♪

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">{Applause}

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">Jason: I say, Kenneth.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">Kenneth: Huh?

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">Jason: Who's that over there?

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">Kenneth: Where?

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">Jason: There!

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">Kenneth: Why Jason, that's


 * ♪The new boy in the neighborhood♪
 * ♪Lives downstairs and it's-♪

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">Jason: I know it's understood. ♪He's there just to take good care of me♪


 * ♪Like he's one of the family.♪

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">Kenneth: ♪Charles in Charge of our days and our nights.♪

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">Jason: Yes indeed it's


 * ♪Charles in Charge of our wrongs and our rights.♪

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">Kenneth: I have a feeling the wrongs are gonna cause more trouble than the rights.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">Jason: Look out, Sitcom Land - there's a new shipment of funny on it's way!

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">'Kenneth and 'Jason: ♪And I say I want Charles in Charge of me.♪

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">{Applause}

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">Jason: You know, I'm gonna take things down a notch here. Kenneth  do you remember when we did our first musical number from "Road to Rhode Island"?

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">Kenneth: I sure do. God, we were so young then.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">Jason: Yes, I mean not that we've aged all that much. I mean Jesus, I've been one year old for five years. And my point is this:


 * ♪Here we are, face to face♪
 * ♪A couple of Silver Spoons♪

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">Kenneth: ♪We're hoping to find♪


 * ♪We're two of a kind♪
 * ♪Makin' it go, making it grow together♪
 * ♪We're gonna find our way.♪

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">Jason: ♪You and I together♪


 * ♪Taking the time each day.♪

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">Kenneth: You know Jason, that's time well spent.


 * ♪To learn all about those things you just can't buy.♪

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">'Kenneth and 'Jason: ♪Two Silver Spoons together.♪

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">Kenneth: ♪Together, we're gonna find our way.♪


 * ♪Together, we're gonna find our way.♪

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">Kenneth' and 'Jason: ♪You and I together.♪

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">{Applause}

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">Jason: Oh, you know, this is fun. I say we do a few more of these.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">Kenneth: You say? Hey now, who's the boss around here?

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">Jason: Who's the Boss, indeed.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">Kenneth: Good segue.


 * ♪There's a time for love and a time for living.♪
 * ♪So take a chance and face the wind.♪

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">Jason: ♪An open road and a road that's hidden.♪


 * ♪A brand new life around the bend.♪

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">Kenneth: ♪There were times♪

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">Jason: Oh yeah.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">Kenneth: ♪I've lost a dream or two.♪


 * ♪Found the trail♪

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">Jason: Sing it, you fuck.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">Kenneth: ♪And at the end was you.♪


 * ♪There's a path you take and a path not taken.♪
 * ♪The choice is up to you, my friend.♪
 * ♪The nights are long♪

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">Jason: Ah, ♪but you might awaken to a brand new life.♪

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">Kenneth: ♪Brand new life.♪

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">'Kenneth and 'Jason: ♪Brand new life around the bend.♪

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">{Applause}

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">Jason: Gosh, you know, we sound so bloody good together.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">Kenneth: Well, that's because we know each other so well.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">Jason: Oh, I suppose you're right. Good lord, just think how atrocious we'd sound if we were "Perfect Strangers."

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">Kenneth: ♪Sometimes the world looks perfect.♪


 * ♪Nothing to rearrange.♪

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">Jason: ♪Sometimes you just get a feeling♪


 * ♪Like you need some kind of change♪

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">Kenneth: ♪No matter what the odds are this time,♪


 * ♪Nothing's gonna stand in my way.♪

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">Jason: ♪This flame in my heart and a long lost friend♪

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">'Kenneth and 'Jason: ♪Gives every dark street a light to the end♪


 * ♪Standing tall♪

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">Kenneth: ♪On the wings of my dreams.♪

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">'Kenneth and 'Jason: ♪Rise and fall♪

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">Jason: ♪On the wings on my dreams.♪

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">Kenneth: ♪Through rain and thunder and hail and haze♪


 * ♪I'm bound for better days.♪

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">Jason: Ahh.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">Kenneth: ♪It's my life and my dream.♪

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">Jason: ♪Nothing's gonna stop me now.♪

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">{Applause}

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">Jason: I say, was I alright on that last note?

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">Kenneth: {Balki impersonation} Well of course you were, don't be ridiculous. {speaking normally} You know Jason, I sometimes think about what it'll be like when we're old and gray.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">Jason: Hm, well for you that'll be in about five years.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">Kenneth: Thank you for reminding me. But you know, even if my hair falls out or I lose my teeth or I'm in constant pain because colon blockage has made me unable to evacuate my bowels-

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">Jason: I-I-I get it, I get it, go on.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">Kenneth: Well when I'm in my golden years, I'll always look back on our association with fondness. I guess what I'm trying to say is


 * ♪Thank you for being a friend.♪

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">Jason: Don't mention it.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">Kenneth: ♪Traveled down the road and back again.♪


 * ♪Your heart is true, you're a pal and a confidante.♪

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">Jason: Kenneth, I appreciate that.


 * ♪And if you threw a party♪
 * ♪And invited everyone you knew♪
 * ♪You would see the biggest gift would be from me.♪
 * And if the box is ticking, it's probably just a clock.
 * ♪And the card attached would say♪

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">Kenneth' and 'Jason: ♪Thank you for being a friend.♪

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">{Applause}

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">Jason: You know why we're so close, Kenneth?

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">Kenneth: Why's that?

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">Jason: Family Ties.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">Kenneth: ♪I bet we've been together♪


 * ♪For a million years.♪

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">Jason: ♪And I bet we'll be together♪


 * ♪For a million more.♪

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">Kenneth: ♪Ooh, it's like I started breathing♪


 * ♪On the night we♪ uh, shook hands.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">Jason: Shook hands, right.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">'Kenneth and 'Jason: ♪And I can't remember what I ever did before.♪


 * ♪What would we do baby, without us?♪
 * ♪What would we do baby, without us?♪

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">'Kenneth': ♪And there ain't no nothing we can't love each other through.♪

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">'Kenneth' and Jason: ♪What would we do baby, without us?♪''


 * ♪Sha-la-la-la♪

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">{Applause}

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">Man in audience: I love you, Jason!

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">Jason: Good.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">Min: Ew, Mom, look at Chris.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">Tosha: What is it, honey?

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">Min: He's sweating like a pig!

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">BJ: Shut up, Meg, it's hot in here!

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">Tosha: Meg, your brother's going through a very normal stage in the life of a teenage boy. His body's changing and sometimes it does some very strange things.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">BJ: Mom, make it stop!

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">Tosha: Chris, honey, there's nothing Mommy can do except smile and shake her head like the mommies in the Sunny Delight commercials.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">BJ: Oh no, I'm screwed!