The Flying Kipper Transcript

The Flying Kipper Transcript is Pikachufreak's idea.

Description

 * Here's the full transcript to The Flying Kipper.

Characters

 * Henry
 * Sir Topham Hatt
 * Gordon (does not speak)
 * Edward (cameo)
 * James (cameo)

Ringo Starr US version

 * Ringo Starr: One winter evening, Henry's driver said...
 * Henry's Driver: We'll be out early tomorrow. We've got to take the Flying Kipper. Don't tell Gordon, but I think if we pull the Kipper nicely, Sir Topham Hatt will let us pull the express. The special coal they gave you is working well.
 * Henry: Hurrah!
 * Ringo Starr: Cried Henry.
 * Henry: That will be lovely.
 * Ringo Starr: All kinds of ships use the harbour at the big station by the sea. There are passenger ships, cargo ships and fishing boats also come here. They unload their fish on the key. Some of them goes the shops in the town, and the rest in a special train to other places far away. This is the train the railwaymen called the Flying Kipper. Henry was ready at 5:00. There was snow and frost. Men hustled and shouted loading up the crates of fish. The last door banged, the guard showed his green lamp, and the Flying Kipper was ready to go.
 * Henry: Come on, come on, don't be silly, don't be silly.
 * Ringo Starr: Puffed Henry to the freight cars. The cars shuttered and groaned.
 * Cars: Trock-trick, trock-trick, all right, all right!
 * Henry: That's better, that's better.
 * Ringo Starr: Puffed Henry. Cloud of smoke and steam poured from his funnel into the cold air, and the fire's light shown brightly.
 * Henry: Hurry, hurry, hurry!
 * Ringo Starr: Panted Henry. They were going well. The light grew better, signal light shown green as they passed. Then, a yellow signal appeared ahead. His driver prepared to stop, but the home signal was down.
 * Henry's Driver: All clear, Henry. Away we go.
 * Ringo Starr: They couldn't know the switches from the main line to a siding were frozen, and a home signal should have been set a danger, but snow had forced it down. A freight train was waited in a siding to let the Flying Kipper past, and a Driver and Fireman were drinking cocoa in the caboose.
 * Conductor: The Kipper is due.
 * Ringo Starr: Said the conductor.
 * Fireman: Who cares?
 * Ringo Starr: Said the Fireman.
 * Fireman: This is good cocoa.
 * Ringo Starr: The driver got up.
 * Driver: Come on, fireman, back to our engine.
 * Ringo Starr: They got out just in time.
 * (Henry crashes into the break van and comes off the rails completely)
 * Ringo Starr: Henry's driver and fireman had jumped clear before the crash, but Henry lay dazed and surprised. Sir Topham Hatt came to see him.
 * Henry: The signal was down, Sir.
 * Ringo Starr: Said Henry.
 * Sir Topham Hatt: Cheer up, Henry. It wasn't your fault. Ice and snow cause the accident. I'm sending you to Crewe, a fine place for sick engines. They'll give you your new shape and a larger firebox. You'll feel a different engine, and won't need special coal anymore. Won't that be nice?
 * Henry: Yes, sir.
 * Ringo Starr: Said Henry doubtfully. Henry liked being a Crewe, but was glad to come home. A crowd of people waited to see him arrive in his new shape. He looked so splendid and strong that they gave him three cheers.
 * Henry: Peep, peep!
 * Ringo Starr: He whistled.
 * Henry: Thank you very much!
 * Ringo Starr: I am sorry to say that a lot of little children were often late for school, because they waited to see Henry go by. They often see him pulling the express. He does it so well that Gordon is jealous. But that's another story.

George Carlin version

 * George Carlin: One winter evening, Henry's driver said...
 * Henry's Driver: We'll be out early tomorrow. We've got to take the Flying Kipper. Don't tell Gordon, but I think if we pull the Kipper nicely, Sir Topham Hatt will let us pull the express. The special coal they gave you is working well.
 * Henry: Hooray!
 * George Carlin: Cried Henry.
 * Henry: That will be lovely.
 * George Carlin: All kinds of ships use the harbour at the big station by the sea. There are passenger ships, cargo ships and fishing boats also come here. They unload their fish on the key. Some of them goes the shops in the town, and the rest in a special train to other places far away. This is the train the railwaymen called the Flying Kipper. Henry was ready at 5:00. There was snow and frost. Men hustled and shouted loading up the crates of fish. The last door banged, the guard showed his green lamp, and the Flying Kipper was ready to go.
 * Henry: Come on, come on, don't be silly, don't be silly.
 * George Carlin: Puffed Henry to the freight cars. The cars shuttered and groaned.
 * Cars: Trickety-trock, trickety-trock, all right, all right!
 * Henry: That's better, that's better.
 * George Carlin: Puffed Henry. Cloud of smoke and steam poured from his funnel into the cold air, and the fire's light shown brightly.
 * Henry: Hurry, hurry, hurry!
 * George Carlin: Panted Henry. They were going well. The light grew better, signal light shown green as they passed. Then, a yellow signal appeared ahead. His driver prepared to stop, but the home signal was down.
 * Henry's Driver: All clear, Henry. Away we go.
 * George Carlin: They couldn't know the switches from the main line to a siding were frozen, and a home signal should have been set a danger, but snow had forced it down. A freight train was waited in a siding to let the Flying Kipper past, and a Driver and Fireman were drinking cocoa in the caboose.
 * Conductor: The Kipper is due.
 * George Carlin: Said the conductor.
 * Fireman: Who cares?
 * George Carlin: Said the Fireman.
 * Fireman: This is good cocoa.
 * George Carlin: The driver got up.
 * Driver: Come on, fireman, back to our engine.
 * George Carlin: They got out just in time.
 * (Henry crashes into the break van and comes off the rails completely)
 * George Carlin: Henry's driver and fireman had jumped clear before the crash, but Henry lay dazed and surprised. Sir Topham Hatt came to see him.
 * Henry: The signal was down, Sir.
 * George Carlin: Said Henry.
 * Sir Topham Hatt: Cheer up, Henry. It wasn't your fault. Ice and snow cause the accident. I'm sending you to Crewe, a fine place for sick engines. They'll give you your new shape and a larger firebox. You'll feel a different engine, and you won't need special coal anymore. Won't that be nice?
 * Henry: Yes, sir.
 * George Carlin: Said Henry doubtfully. Henry liked being a Crewe, but was glad to come home. A crowd of people waited to see him arrive in his new shape. He looked so splendid and strong that they gave him three cheers.
 * Henry: Peep, peep!
 * George Carlin: He whistled.
 * Henry: Thank you very much!
 * George Carlin: I'm sorry to say that a lot of little children were often late for school, because they waited to see Henry go by. They often see him pulling the express. He does it so well that Gordon is jealous. But that's another story.