Muppets/I Refuse to Sing Along (from Bert and Ernie Sing-Along)

Cast

 * Sam the Eagle as Bert
 * Rowlf the Dog as Ernie
 * Beard as David
 * Floyd Pepper as Gordon
 * Link Hogthrob as Bob
 * Wanda as Maria
 * Janice as Susan
 * Mary Louise (little girl) as Prairie Dawn
 * Wayne as Luis
 * Pops as Mr. Hooper

Lyrics
Sam the Eagle: Yankee Doodle went to town, Riding on his pony. Oh, I love taking my bath. Peace and quiet. All alone. And call it macaroni. Oh, two, three...

Rowlf the Dog: Hi, buddy Sam.

Sam the Eagle: Oh, hi, Rowlf. Hey, will you close the door, Rowlf? There's a draft.

Rowlf the Dog: Oh, just a second, Sam.

Sam the Eagle: Rowlf, Rowlf. What are you doing? You can't push a piano through the bathroom door.

Rowlf the Dog: Well, sure I can, Sam. Watch!

Sam the Eagle: Aaahhhh!

Rowlf the Dog: See? (laughing)

Sam the Eagle: Rowlf, what are you doing with the piano in the bathroom?

Rowlf the Dog: Well, Sam, I heard you singing in the tubby there.

Sam the Eagle: Yeah?

Rowlf the Dog: And so I thought I would just come in and sing along.

Sam the Eagle: I don't want you to sing along. I want you to get out.

Rowlf the Dog: But you know everybody sounds better singing in the bathroom, you know?

Sam the Eagle: I don't want the piano in here, Rowlf!

Rowlf the Dog: Well, sure, Sam. What's a sing along without a piano?

Sam the Eagle: It's me! That's what it is. Alone!

Rowlf the Dog: Listen to this, Sam.

Sam the Eagle: Stop that playing!

Rowlf the Dog: Doesn't it sound nice?

Sam the Eagle: Stop it right now!

Rowlf the Dog: Doesn't it just make you want to sing along?

Sam the Eagle: It makes me want to see you out of here!

Rowlf the Dog: No, Sam. Listen.

Sam the Eagle: Come on!

Rowlf the Dog: Gee, Sam.

Sam the Eagle: What?

Rowlf the Dog: It's so much fun.

Sam the Eagle: No, it's not!

Rowlf the Dog: I know you'll like it.

Sam the Eagle: I won't like it!

Rowlf the Dog: Once we've begun.

Sam the Eagle: I won't begin! Rowlf, I've gotta wash my hair, I've gotta scrub my toes.

Rowlf the Dog: We, Sam...

Sam the Eagle: What?

Rowlf the Dog: ...Will have a ball.

Sam the Eagle: No way!

Rowlf the Dog: If I can get you to sing at all.

Sam the Eagle: No, I refuse to sing along I won't!

Rowlf the Dog: But Sam.

Sam the Eagle: So please don't ask me if I want to 'cause I don't

Rowlf the Dog: Pretty please.

Sam the Eagle: Although for you I would do almost anything

Rowlf the Dog: Really?

Sam the Eagle: Along is one way which I do not want to sing

Rowlf the Dog: But listen. Ole Buddy, it'll make you happy When you start to sing a snappy Little number that will bounce you right along

Sam the Eagle: No!

Rowlf the Dog: Like "Farmer In The Dell" or "Old McDonald Had A Farm" or maybe "What's The Name Of That Song"

Sam the Eagle: No

Rowlf the Dog: So if you have a lot of choice, You'll love it that you've got a voice And even though the notes you sing are wrong

Sam the Eagle: ROWLF!!

Rowlf the Dog: You'll do a favor for us If you lift your voice in chorus For a swinging sing along song

Sam the Eagle: I refuse to sing along I won't So please don't ask me if I want to 'cause I don't Although for you I would do almost anything Along is one way which I do not want to sing

Rowlf the Dog: Ole Buddy, it'll make you happy When you start to sing a snappy Little number that will bounce you right along Like "Farmer In The Dell" or "Old McDonald Had A Farm" or maybe "What's The Name Of That Song" So if you have a lot of choice, You'll love it that you've got a voice And even though the notes you sing are wrong You'll do a favor for us If you lift your voice in chorus For a swinging sing along song

Sam the Eagle: Rowlf!!!

Rowlf the Dog: Please, Sam.

Sam the Eagle: What?

Rowlf the Dog: You'll like it too.

Sam the Eagle: No, I won't!

Rowlf the Dog: We'll sing together.

Sam the Eagle: AARGH!!

Rowlf the Dog: Just me and you.

Sam the Eagle: No, I refuse to sing along that's it!!!! And in the bathroom it's ridiculous, I quit!! That's that! That's that!

Rowlf the Dog: Gee Sam, that was wonderful!

Sam the Eagle: Oh, Rowlf, come on! Now get out of here! Just take your piano and go away and leave me alone!

Rowlf the Dog: But, Sam.

Sam the Eagle: Rowlf!

Rowlf the Dog: Someone's at the door.

Sam the Eagle: Well, go see who it is and knock yourself out.

Rowlf the Dog: It's open.

Sam the Eagle: Uh, hold it, Rowlf! What are you doing?

Rowlf the Dog: Hi, Beard.

Beard: Hi, you guys are going to have a sing along, right?

Rowlf the Dog: Sure, come on in.

Beard: Okay.

Sam the Eagle: Hey, Beard. Please I'm having...

Beard: Hi, Sam. Oh, look at the suds. How are the suds?

Floyd Pepper: Hi, Rowlf.

Rowlf the Dog: Hey, Floyd.

Floyd Pepper: Hey, uh, will you give me a hand with this bass fiddle here?

Rowlf the Dog: Sure, let me have that bass fiddle there.

Sam the Eagle: Bass fiddle? Hey, Floyd, will you please...

Link Hogthrob: Hi, Rowlf.

Rowlf the Dog: Hi, Link.

Link Hogthrob: La, la, la. Hey, Rowlf. The acoustics are great in here. It's a terrfic place for a sing along. Oh, hi, Sam.

Sam the Eagle: Hey, hey, guys. Uh, Link, could you please...

Rowlf the Dog: Come in!

Wanda: Hi, fellas.

Beard: Hey!

Floyd Pepper: Hi, Mary Louise.

Sam the Eagle: Wait, Rowlf. Put them out!

Rowlf the Dog: Hi, Wanda and Janice. Hey, Wayne.

Sam the Eagle: Hand me a towel, will you, Rowlf?

Link Hogthrob: La, la, la, la, la, la.

Sam the Eagle: Rowlf!

Beard: Hey, hey, wait a second, wait a second. What do we do first?

Sam the Eagle: Are you going to get me a towel?

Janice: Let's start with something easy.

Beard: Okay.

Rowlf the Dog: Hey, everybody know this one?

Sam the Eagle: What's going on?