Unused emails



Strong Bad explains what happens to all the unused emails he gets every week.

Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, The Cheat, Bubs, Strong Mad

Places: Computer Room, The Stick, Strong Mad's Room

Computer: Compy 386

Date: Monday, March 3, 2003

Running Time: 1:38

Page Title: Compy 386!

DVD: strongbad_email.exe Disc Two

Transcript
STRONG BAD: Oooh! Check it out! Another one of those...sbemails!

{reading} Hey Strong Bad, I was wondering what you do with the emails that don't get showed on the weekly email.

Dan Chase, Aurora, Illinois''{Strong Bad stops and says "Hey!" after reading "Hey Strong Bad," and pronounces Illinois as "Illi-nwah" (in other words, with a French accent)}''

STRONG BAD: Ahh... {typing} Wha-hoah, Dan. You mean what do I do with the thousands and thousands of near unreadable emails I get every day? I like to mix it up!

{Cut to The Cheat carrying some papers, organizing them into huge stacks}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Sometimes I give them to The Cheat for filing. And archiving.

''{The Cheat sticks an email in the Medium category. Strong Bad sticks his head in the screen.}''

THE CHEAT: {The Cheat noises}

<p style="margin-top: 0.9em; margin-right: 0em; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0em; line-height: 1.5em; font-family: verdana, geneva, arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; ">STRONG BAD: No man, that's a short.

<p style="margin-top: 0.9em; margin-right: 0em; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0em; line-height: 1.5em; font-family: verdana, geneva, arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; ">''{The Cheat shrugs, and attempts to retrieve the email, but is too short to reach the top of the pile. Cut to Strong Bad and Bubs standing at the stick, facing away from each other. Strong Bad has a CD labeled "The Goods", Bubs has a bag of cash labeled "The Payoff".}''

<p style="margin-top: 0.9em; margin-right: 0em; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0em; line-height: 1.5em; font-family: verdana, geneva, arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; ">STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Or if I'm strapped for cash, I'll sell the email addresses to Bubs for use in his free weekly spamvertisements.

<p style="margin-top: 0.9em; margin-right: 0em; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0em; line-height: 1.5em; font-family: verdana, geneva, arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; ">{Strong Bad drops the CD}

<p style="margin-top: 0.9em; margin-right: 0em; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0em; line-height: 1.5em; font-family: verdana, geneva, arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; ">STRONG BAD: Oops! Lookit that! I dropped a CD of five-thousand email addresses!

<p style="margin-top: 0.9em; margin-right: 0em; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0em; line-height: 1.5em; font-family: verdana, geneva, arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; ">{Bubs throws the bag of money on the ground}

<p style="margin-top: 0.9em; margin-right: 0em; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0em; line-height: 1.5em; font-family: verdana, geneva, arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; ">BUBS: Whoops! I dropped a quarter for each one!

<p style="margin-top: 0.9em; margin-right: 0em; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0em; line-height: 1.5em; font-family: verdana, geneva, arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; ">{Cut to Strong Mad crumpling up papers}

<p style="margin-top: 0.9em; margin-right: 0em; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0em; line-height: 1.5em; font-family: verdana, geneva, arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; ">STRONG BAD: {voiceover} And sometimes I give them to my big brother Strong Mad, for the Japanese art of paper-folding.

<p style="margin-top: 0.9em; margin-right: 0em; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0em; line-height: 1.5em; font-family: verdana, geneva, arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; ">{Strong Bad walks on screen}

<p style="margin-top: 0.9em; margin-right: 0em; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0em; line-height: 1.5em; font-family: verdana, geneva, arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; ">STRONG BAD: So, how are your origamis? Is that one the crane?

<p style="margin-top: 0.9em; margin-right: 0em; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0em; line-height: 1.5em; font-family: verdana, geneva, arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; ">STRONG MAD: {holds up one crumpled ball of paper} THIS IS A LOTUS FLOWER! {holds up another} THIS IS A PRAYING MANTIS!

<p style="margin-top: 0.9em; margin-right: 0em; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0em; line-height: 1.5em; font-family: verdana, geneva, arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; ">STRONG BAD: Oh yeah, that's great, man. {sniffs} Incredible likeness.

<p style="margin-top: 0.9em; margin-right: 0em; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0em; line-height: 1.5em; font-family: verdana, geneva, arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; ">{Cut back to Strong Bad in front of the computer}

<p style="margin-top: 0.9em; margin-right: 0em; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0em; line-height: 1.5em; font-family: verdana, geneva, arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; ">STRONG BAD: {typing} But mostly the emails I don't use just get... {stops typing and stands up, backing up slowly} A-digga...a-digga...a-digga-digga...a-digga...a-diggity... {starts running back toward the desk} DIGGITY DIGGITY DIGGITY DIGGITY A-DELETEEEEEED!!!!!! {jumps and does an elbow drop on the keyboard, breaking the desk in half.} DELETED!!<p style="margin-top: 0.9em; margin-right: 0em; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0em; line-height: 1.5em; font-family: verdana, geneva, arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; ">STRONG BAD: Ohhhhh...I think I broke my clavicus...majorus.

<p style="margin-top: 0.9em; margin-right: 0em; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0em; line-height: 1.5em; font-family: verdana, geneva, arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; ">{The Paper comes down.}