Cranky Learns a Lesson and Other Stories (with George Carlin)

Cranky Learns a Lesson and Other Stories is a My Little Pony/Thomas parody of the Thomas and Friends US video, James Learns a Lesson and Other Stories. It features Eight first season episodes and Three third season episodes from Spike the Dragon and Friends narrated by George Carlin.

Cast

 * Spike as Thomas
 * Shining Armor as Edward
 * Big Macintosh as Henry
 * Chief Thunderhooves as Gordon
 * Cranky Doodle Donkey as James
 * Apple Bloom as Annie
 * Sweetie Belle as Clarabel
 * Buffaloes as The Coaches
 * Changelings as The Troublesome Trucks
 * Featherweight as Terence
 * Angel as Bertie
 * Hoity Toity as Sir Topham Hatt
 * Everyone else as Themselves

Episodes

 * 1) Cranky Learns A Lesson
 * 2) Foolish Changelings
 * 3) A Proud Day for Cranky
 * 4) Spike & The Conductor
 * 5) Spike Goes Fishing
 * 6) Featherweight the Pegasus
 * 7) Spike and Angel's Great Race

Cranky Learns a Lesson
Narrator: "Cranky Doodle Donkey was enjoying his life in Ponyville, but he still had a lot to learn."

Hoity Toity: "You're a special mixed-traffic donkey."

Narrator: "Said Hoity Toity."

Hoity Toity: "You can take buffaloes and changelings quite easily, but you must learn by your mistakes."

Narrator: "Cranky knew what Hoity Toity meant. He could well remember that dreadful accident on his first day."

Shining Armor: "Be careful with the buffaloes, Cranky."

Narrator: "Said kind little Shining Armor."

Shining Armor: "They don't like being bumped."

Narrator: "Everyone came to admire Cranky."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "I'm a really splendid donkey."

Narrator: "He thought, and suddenly kicked some dirt."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Wheesh!"

Narrator: "Some dirt fell on Hoity Toity's hair.

Just then, the conductor blew his whistle, and Cranky thought they had better go."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Go on! Go on!"

Narrator: "He puffed to Shining Armor."

Shining Armor: "Don't push! Don't push!"

Narrator: "Puffed Shining Armor. The buffaloes were grumbling too."

Buffaloes: "Don't go so fast! Don't go so fast!"

Narrator: "But Cranky didn't listen.

When at last, they stopped at the next station, two buffaloes were beyond the platform. They had to go back to drop off their passengers. But no one seemed to know about Hoity Toity's hair, so Cranky felt happier.

Presently, they came to the station where Spike was waiting with his two fillies."

Spike: "Hello, Cranky."

Narrator: "Said Spike."

Spike: "Feeling better? That's good.

Oh, that's my conductor's whistle. I must go. I don't know what Hoity Toity would do without me to run this path."

Narrator: "And he puffed off importantly.

Shining Armor and Cranky passed the field where Cranky had had his accident. The fence was mended and the cows were back again.

They ended their journey, and rested before setting off for home. Cranky was still wondering what Hoity Toity would have to say about his hair.

Next morning, he spoke severely to Cranky."

Hoity Toity: "If you can't behave, I shall take away your brown fur, and have you wear white."

Narrator: "Cranky didn't like that at all.

He was very rough with the grumbling buffaloes as he brought them to the platform."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Don't talk! Come on!

Chief Thunderhooves never has to fetch his own buffaloes,"

Narrator: "He thought to himself."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "And he only has dark gray fur."

Narrator: "To make Cranky even more cross, this time no one came near him."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "I'll show them."

Narrator: "He thought.

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "They think Chief Thunderhooves is the only animal who can take buffaloes.

Hurry, hurry, hurry!"

Narrator: "Puffed Cranky."

Buffaloes: "You're going too fast! You're going too fast!"

Narrator: "Replied the buffaloes. Cranky laughed and tried to go faster, but the buffaloes wouldn't let him."

Buffaloes: "We're going to stop. We're going to stop!"

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "What's the matter?"

Narrator: "Cranky asked his driver."

Cranky Doodle Donkey's Driver: "The buffaloes are on. Scratch on the leg most likely. You've banged the buffaloes enough to make a scratch on anything."

Conductor: "How should we mend it?"

Narrator: "Said the conductor."

Cranky Doodle Donkey's Driver: "We'll do it with newspaper and a leather bootlace."

Narrator: "Replied the driver."

Conductor: "Well, where is the bootlace coming from?"

Narrator: "Asked the conductor."

Cranky Doodle Donkey's Driver: "Ask the passengers."

Narrator: "Said the driver."

Conductor: "You have leather bootlace there."

Narrator: "Said the conductor to a smarty dressed man."

Conductor: "Please give it to me."

Jeremiah Jobling: "I won't."

Conductor: "Then I'm afraid we'll all have to stay where we are."

Narrator: "The passengers all said what a bad land it was. Then they told the man how bad he was instead. Everyone was very cross.

At last, he handed his laces over.

The driver tied a pad of newspaper tightly round the hole in the leg, and Cranky was able to take the buffaloes.

But he was a sadder and wiser Cranky, and took care never to bump buffaloes again."

Foolish Changelings
Narrator: "Cranky Doodle Donkey had not been out to work with buffaloes or changelings around Ponyville for several days. He was feeling miserable."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Oh dear. I wonder how long I shall have to stay in the house. Will anyone see my brown fur again? Why did I go so fast that I made a scratch on one of my buffaloes that had to be mended with, of all things, a passengers' bootlace?"

Narrator: "At last, Hoity Toity arrived."

Hoity Toity: "I know you are sorry, Cranky."

Narrator: "He said."

Hoity Toity: "And I know too that you want to be a useful donkey. People are laughing at my town and I don't like that at all."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "I will try hard to do my best."

Narrator: "Said Cranky."

Hoity Toity: "That's a good donkey. There's nothing like determination. I want you to take some changelings for me."

Narrator: "Cranky was delighted and puffed away."

Spike: "Here are your changelings, Cranky."

Narrator: "Said Spike."

Spike: "Have you got some bootlaces ready?"

Narrator: "And he ran off laughing."

Changelings: "Oh, no!"

Narrator: "Said the changelings."

Changelings: "We want a proper animal. Not a brown monster."

Narrator: "Cranky took no notice and started as soon as the conductor was ready."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Come along, come along."

Narrator: "He puffed."

Changelings: "We won't, we won't!"

Narrator: "Screamed the changelings. But Cranky didn't care and pull the screeching changelings sternly out of the station.

The changelings tried hard to make him give up, but he still kept on. Sometimes, they'd come to a standstill. And sometimes their hooves would run hot. And each time, the trouble had to be put right. And each time, Cranky would start again determined not to let them beat him."

Changelings: "Give up, give up! You can't pull us! You can't, you can't!"

Narrator: "Called the changelings."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "I can and I will! I can and I will."

Narrator: "Puffed Cranky, and slowly but surely, he pulled them along the path.

At last they saw Chief Thunderhooves' hill."

Cranky Doodle Donkey's Driver; "Look out for trouble, Cranky."

Narrator: "Warned his driver."

Cranky Doodle Donkey's Driver: "We'll go fast and get them up before they know it. Don't let them stop you."

Narrator: "So Cranky went faster and soon they were half way up."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "I'm doing it, I'm doing it!"

Narrator: "He panted."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Will the top never come?"

Narrator: "Then, with a sudden jerk, it all came easier."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "I've done it, I've done it!"

Narrator: "He puffed."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Hooray! It's easy now."

Narrator: "But he driver shut off steam."

Cranky Doodle Donkey's Driver: "They've done it again. We've left our tail behind. Look."

Narrator: "The last changelings were running backwards down the hill. A rope had snapped. But the conductor stopped the changelings and got out to warn approaching animals."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "That's why it was easy."

Narrator: "Said Cranky, as he back the other changelings carefully down."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "What silly things changelings are! There might have been an accident."

Shining Armor: "Shall I help you, Cranky?"

Narrator: "Called Shining Armor."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "No thank you."

Narrator: "Answered Cranky."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "I'll pull them myself."

Shining Armor: "Good. Don't let them beat you. You're doing well."

Narrator: "Whistled Shining Armor, as Cranky slowly struggled up the hill."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "I can do it, I can do it!"

Narrator: "He puffed. He pulled and puffed as hard as he could."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "I've done it, I've done it!"

Narrator: "He panted.

Cranky was resting when Shining Armor pulled up."

Shining Armor: "Peep, peep!"

Narrator: "He whistled. Then Cranky saw Hoity Toity."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Oh dear! What will he say?"

Narrator: "He asked himself.

But Hoity Toity was smiling."

Hoity Toity: "I was with Shining Armor and I saw everything."

Narrator: "He said."

Hoity Toity: "You made the most troublesome changelings in town behave. After that performance, you deserve to keep your brown fur."===A Proud Day for Cranky=== Narrator: "One night, Big Macintosh and Chief Thunderhooves were alone with Cranky Doodle Donkey. Although Hoity Toity was beginning to think well of him, whenever a chance came, the other animals would talk of nothing but bootlaces."

Big Macintosh and Chief Thunderhooves: "Remember when they had to use a bootlace to get you out of trouble, Cranky?"

Narrator: "They would tease. Cranky tried to get back by talking about Big Mac who got shut up in a tunnel and Chief Thunderhooves who got stuck on a hill, but they wouldn't listen."

Chief Thunderhooves: "You talk too much little Cranky."

Narrator: "Said Chief Thunderhooves."

Chief Thunderhooves: "A fine strong buffalo like me has something to talk about. I'm the only animal who can take the express buffaloes. When I'm not there, they need two animals. Think of that? I've taken express buffaloes for years and have never once lost my way. I seem to know the right path by instinct."

Narrator: "Every wise animal knows that the signalman makes sure the animals run on the right path, but Chief Thunderhooves was so proud, he had forgotten."

Chief Thunderhooves: "Wake up, Cranky."

Narrator: "Said Chief Thunderhooves next morning."

Chief Thunderhooves: "It's time for the express. What are you doing? Odd jobs? Ah well, we all have to begin somewhere, don't we? Run along and get my buffaloes. Don't be late."

Narrator: "Cranky went to fetch Chief Thunderhooves' buffaloes. They were all shiny with new fur. He was careful not to bump them, and they followed him smoothly into the station, singing happily,"

Buffaloes: "We're going away, we're going away."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "I wish I was going with you."

Narrator: "Said Cranky."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "I should love to take the express and go flying along the path."

Narrator: "Chief Thunderhooves, with much noise, got ready to back onto the line.

Hoity Toity was with the buffaloes with other important people. And as soon so they heard the conductor's whistle, Chief Thunderhooves started."

Chief Thunderhooves: "Look at me now, look at me now."

Narrator: "He puffed, and the buffaloes glided after him."

Chief Thunderhooves: "Goodbye little Cranky. See you tomorrow."

Narrator: "Cranky watch the line disappear and then went back to work. He pushed some changelings into their proper sidings, and went to fetch the buffaloes for another animal.

Cranky had just brought the buffaloes to the platform when he heard a mournful noise.

There was Chief Thunderhooves trying to sneak into the station without being noticed."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Hello, Chief Thunderhooves. Is it tomorrow?"

Narrator: "Chief Thunderhooves didn't answer, he just kicked at the ground feebly."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Did you lose your way, Chief Thunderhooves?"

Chief Thunderhooves: "No, it was lost for me. I turned off the main path and onto the loop. I had to go all around and back again."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Perhaps it was instinct."

Narrator: "Said Cranky.

Meanwhile, all the passengers were shouting at the ticket window."

Passengers: "We want our money back!"

Narrator: "But Hoity Toity climbed onto a cart, and blew the conductor's whistle so loudly that they all stopped to look at him. Then he promised them a new animal at once."

Hoity Toity: "Chief Thunderhooves can't do it. Will you take it for us, Cranky?"

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Yes, sir. I'll try."

Narrator: "So Cranky was hooked up, and everyone got on."

Hoity Toity: "Do your best, Cranky."

Narrator: "Said Hoity Toity."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Come along, come along."

Narrator: "Said Cranky."

Buffaloes: "You're pulling us well, you're pulling us well."

Narrator: "Sang the buffaloes."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Hurry, hurry, hurry."

Narrator: "Puffed Cranky.

Bridges and stations flashed by, the passengers cheered and they soon reached the station. Everyone said 'Thank you' to Cranky, and Hoity Toity was very impressed."

Hoity Toity: "Well done! Would you like to take the express sometimes?"

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Yes, please!"

Narrator: "Answered Cranky.

Next day, when Cranky came by, Chief Thunderhooves was pushing changelings."

Chief Thunderhooves: "I like some quiet work for a change."

Narrator: "He said."

Chief Thunderhooves: "I'm teaching these changelings manners. You did well with those buffaloes I hear. Good, we'll show them."

Narrator: "And he gave his changelings a bump.

Cranky and Chief Thunderhooves are now good friends. Cranky sometimes takes the express to give Chief Thunderhooves a rest. Chief Thunderhooves never talks about bootlaces, and they are both quite agreed on the subject of changelings."

Spike & The Conductor
Narrator: "Spike the Dragon is very proud of his route. He thinks it's the most important part of Ponyville. His two fillies, Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle agree with him.

Apple Bloom can only take passengers, but Sweetie Belle can take passengers, baggage and the conductor. They are both old need new fur, but Spike loves them very much.

As they run backwards and forwards along the path, they sing songs to each other. When Spike starts from a station, he sings,"

Spike: "Oh, come along, we're rather late, oh, come along, we're rather late."

Narrator: "And the fillies sing,"

Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle: "We're coming along, we're coming along."

Narrator: "They don't mind what Spike sings to them because they know he is trying to please Hoity Toity. And they know too that if Spike is cross, he's not cross with them.

One day, they had to wait for Big Macintosh's passengers, which made Spike very cross."

Spike: "How can I run my route properly if Big Mac's always late? He doesn't realize that Hoity Toity depends on me."

Narrator: "Spike whistled impatiently. He wanted to leave, but he had to wait for Big Mac's passengers.

At last, Big Mac came."

Spike: "Where have been lazybones?"

Narrator: "Asked Spike."

Big Macintosh: "Oh dear, my body is out of order. No one understands my case. You don't know what I suffer."

Narrator: "Moaned Big Mac."

Spike: "Rubbish!"

Narrator: "Said Spike."

Spike: "You're too slow! You need exercise!"

Narrator: "The conductor blew his whistle, and Spike started so quickly that he left him behind. The conductor waved his red flag to stop Spike, but he was well on his way hurrying out of the station."

Spike: "Come along, come along."

Narrator: "Puffed Spike. But Sweetie Belle didn't want to come."

Sweetie Belle: "I've lost my nice conductor, I've lost my nice conductor."

Narrator: "She sobbed.

Apple Bloom tried to tell Spike what had happened."

Apple Bloom: "We haven't a conductor, we haven't a conductor!"

Narrator: "But he was hurrying and wouldn't listen. Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle tried to stop, but they couldn't without the conductor."

Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle: "Where is our conductor? Where is our conductor?"

Narrator: "They cried. But Spike didn't stop till they came to a signal."

Spike: "Bother that signal!"

Narrator: "Said Spike."

Spike: "What's the matter?"

Spike's Driver: "I don't know."

Narrator: "Said his driver."

Spike's Driver: "The conductor will tell us in a minute."

Narrator: "They waited and waited, but the conductor didn't come."

Spike: "Peep, peep, peep! Where is the conductor?"

Narrator: "Whistled Spike."

Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle: "We've left him behind."

Narrator: "Sobbed Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle together.

Everyone looked, and there he was running as fast as he could along the path with his flags in one hand and his whistle in the other. He was very hot. So he had a drink, and told them all about it."

Spike: "I'm very sorry."

Narrator: "Said Spike."

Conductor: "We all make mistakes."

Narrator: "Replied the conductor."

Conductor: "Look, the signal is down. We can go. Let's make up for lost time."

Narrator: "Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle were so pleased to have their conductor again that they sang,"

Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle: "As fast as you like, as fast as you like."

Narrator: "To Spike all the way.

They reached the end of the route quicker than ever before."

Spike Goes Fishing
Narrator: "When Spike walked along his path, he always looked forward to something special...the sight of the river. As he rumbled over he bridge, he would see people fishing. Spike often want to stay and watch. But his driver said,"

Spike's Driver: "No. What would Hoity Toity say if we were late?"

Narrator: "Every time he met another animal, he would say,"

Spike: "I want to fish."

Narrator: "But they all had the same answer."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Dragons don't go fishing."

Spike: "Silly stick-in-the-muds."

Narrator: "Thought Spike.

One day he stopped as usual to get a drink of water at the station by the river."

Spike: "Out of order! Bother!"

Narrator: "Said Spike."

Spike: "I'm thirsty."

Spike's Driver: "Never mind."

Narrator: "Said his driver."

Spike's Driver: "We'll get some water from the river."

Narrator: "They found a bucket and some rope, and went to the bridge.

Then the driver let the bucket down to the water. The bucket was old and had five holes. So they had to fill it, pull it up and give it to Spike as quickly as they could several times over.

They finished at last."

Spike: "That's good. That's good."

Narrator: "Puffed Spike. And Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle ran happily behind.

Suddenly Spike began to feel a pain in his body. Smoke began to come from him in an alarming way."

Spike's Driver: "There's too much smoke."

Narrator: "Said his driver."

Spike: "Oh dear!"

Narrator: "Groaned Spike."

Spike: "I'm going to burst! I'm going to burst!"

Narrator: "They fanned away the smoke and struggled on."

Spike: "I've got such a pain. I've got such a pain."

Narrator: "Spike hissed.

They stopped just outside the last station, unhooked Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle and ran Spike, who was still hissing fit to burst, on a siding right out of the way.

Then, while the conductor telephoned for a dragon inspector, the driver found notices in large letter which he hung on Spike in front and behind.

DANGER. KEEP AWAY.

Soon the inspector and Hoity Toity arrived."

Hoity Toity and Inspector: "Cheer up, Spike."

Narrator: "They said."

Hoity Toity and Inspector: "We'll soon put you right."

Narrator: "The driver told them what had happened."

Inspector: "So his stomach is too full."

Narrator: "Said the inspector."

Inspector: "I'll just look inside."

Narrator: "He peered inside. Then he turned to Hoity Toity."

Inspector: "Excuse me, sir. Please look inside and tell me what you see."

Hoity Toity: "Certainly, inspector."

Narrator: "Replied Hoity Toity. He looked in and nearly fell down in surprise."

Hoity Toity: "Inspector,"

Narrator: "He whispered."

Hoity Toity: "Can you see fish?

Gracious goodness me. How did the fish get there, driver?"

Spike's Driver: "We must have fished them from the river with our bucket."

Narrator: "Replied Spike's Driver."

Hoity Toity: "Well, Spike. So you and your driver have been fishing. But fish don't suit you. We must get them out."

Narrator: "They all took turns at fishing in Spike while Hoity Toity looked on and told them how to do it. When they had caught all the fish, they had a lovely picnic supper of fish and chips."

Hoity Toity: "Hmmm. That was good."

Narrator: "Said Hoity Toity."

Hoity Toity: "But fish don't suit you, Spike. So you mustn't do it again."

Spike: "No sir, I won't."

Narrator: "Said Spike sadly."

Spike: "Dragons don't go fishing. It's too uncomfortable."

Featherweight the Pegasus
Narrator: "Autumn had come to Ponyville. The fields were changing from yellow stubble to brown earth, and a pegasus pony was hard at work as Spike puffed along.

Later, Spike saw the pegasus close by."

Featherweight: "Hello."

Narrator: "Said the pegasus."

Featherweight: "I'm Featherweight. I'm plowing."

Spike: "I'm Spike. My cutie mark crusaders and I are taking passengers. What ugly arms you've got."

Featherweight: "They're not ugly. They're wings."

Narrator: "Said Featherweight."

Featherweight: "I can go anywhere. I don't need the road."

Spike: "I don't want to go anywhere."

Narrator: "Said Spike."

Spike: "I like my road, thank you."

Narrator: "Winter came with dark clouds full of snow."

Spike's Driver: "I don't like it."

Narrator: "Said Spike's Driver."

Spike's Driver: "A heavy fall is coming. I hope it doesn't stop us."

Spike: "Puh."

Narrator: "Said Spike."

Spike: "Soft stuff. Nothing to it."

Narrator: "And he puffed off, feeling cold but confident.

They finished their journey safely, but by now, the country was covered."

Spike's Driver: "You'll need your boots for the next journey, Spike."

Narrator: "Said his driver."

Spikes: "Puh! Snow is silly soft stuff. It won't stop me."

Narrator: "The boots were heavy and uncomfortable and made Spike cross. He shook them, and he banged them, and when he got back, they were so damaged that his driver had to take them off."

Spike's Driver: "You're a very naughty dragon!"

Narrator: "He said to Spike.

Next morning, Spike's driver and fireman came early, and worked hard to mend the boots, but they couldn't make them fit.

Spike was pleased."

Spike: "I shan't have to wear them! I shan't have to wear them!"

Narrator: "He puffed to Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle. But they were rather worried."

Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle: "I hope it's all right. I hope it's all right."

Narrator: "They whispered to each other.

The driver was worried, too."

Spike's Driver: "It's not bad here,"

Narrator: "He said to the fireman,"

Spike's Driver: "But it's sure to be deep in the valley!"

Spike: "Silly soft stuff."

Narrator: "Puffed Spike."

Spike: "I didn't need those stupid things yesterday, and I shan't today. Snow can't stop me!"

Narrator: "He rushed into a tunnel, thinking how clever he was, but there was trouble ahead."

Spike: "Fire and scales!"

Narrator: "Said Spike."

Spike: "I'm stuck!"

Narrator: "And he was.

Spike's Driver: "Back, Spike, back!"

Narrator: "Said his driver.

Spike tried, but his feet spun and he couldn't move.

The conductor went for help, while everyone else tried to dig the snow away. But as fast as they dug, more snow slid down until Spike was nearly buried."

Spike: "Oh my legs and tail! I shall have to stop here till' I'm frozen. What a silly dragon I am!"

Narrator: "And Spike began to cry.

At last, a rabbit came to rescue the passengers, and then, who should come to Spike's rescue but Featherweight! Snow never worries him.

He pulled the empty cutie mark crusaders away, then came back for Spike.

Spike's feet were clear, but still spun when he tried to move.

Featherweight tugged and slipped and slipped and tugged, and at last dragged Spike clear of the snow, ready for the journey home."

Spike: "Thank you, Featherweight. Your wings are splendid."

Narrator: "Said Spike."

Spike's Driver: "I hope you'll be sensible now, Spike."

Narrator: "Said his driver."

Spike: "I'll try."

Narrator: "Said Spike, and he puffed slowly away."

Spike and Angel's Great Race
Narrator: "Spike was waiting at a junction when a rabbit arrived."

Spike: "Hello,"

Narrator: "Said Spike."

Spike: "Who are you?"

Angel: "I'm Angel. Who are you?"

Spike: "I'm Spike. I run this path."

Angel: "So you're Spike, eh? I remember now. You got stuck in the snow. I took your passengers and Featherweight the Pegasus pulled you out. I've come to help you with your passengers today."

Spike: "Help me?"

Narrator: "Said Spike."

Spike: "I can go faster than you."

Angel: "You can't."

Narrator: "Said Angel."

Spike: "I can!"

Narrator: "Huffed Spike."

Angel: "I'll race you."

Narrator: "Said Angel.

Their drivers agreed to the race going ahead.

The stationmaster said,

Stationmaster: "Are you ready? Go!"

Narrator: "Spike never could go fast at first, and Angel drew in front.

Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle: "Why don't you go fast? Why don't you go fast?"

Narrator: "Called Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle."

Spike: "Wait and see, wait and see."

Narrator: "Hissed Spike."

Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle: "He's a long way ahead!"

Narrator: "They wailed.

But Spike didn't mind. He'd remembered the level crossing.

There was Angel, waiting at the gates, while they sailed gaily through."

Spike: "Goodbye, Angel!"

Narrator: "Called Spike.

After that, the paths left each other, so they couldn't see Angel.

Then, they had to stop at the station to let off passengers."

Spike: "Peep peep peep! Quickly, please!"

Narrator: "Called Spike, and off they went again."

Spike: "Come along, come along!"

Narrator: "Sang Spike."

Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle: "We're coming along, we're coming along!"

Narrator: "Sang Apple Bloom and Sweetie."

Spike: "Hurry, hurry, hurry!"

Narrator: "Panted Spike, then he looked ahead. There was Angel, whistling triumphantly."

Spike: "Oh, dearie me. Oh, dearie me."

Narrator: "Groaned Spike."

Spike's Driver: "Steady, Spike."

Narrator: "Said his driver."

Spike's Driver: "We'll beat Angel yet."

Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle: "We'll beat Angel yet, we'll beat Angel yet."

Narrator: "Echoed Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle."

Spike: "We'll do it, we'll do it."

Narrator: "Panted Spike."

Spike: "Oh, bother! There's a station."

Narrator: "Then, he heard Angel."

Angel: "Goodbye, Spike! You must be tired. Sorry I can't stop. We rabbits have to work, you know. Good-bye."

Spike: "Oh, dear."

Narrator: "Thought Spike."

Spike: "We've lost."

Narrator: "But he felt better after a drink.

The signal dropped."

Spike: "Hurrah, we're off! Hurrah, we're off!"

Narrator: "Puffed Spike.

As they crossed the bridge, they heard an impatient whistle.

There was Angel, waiting at the traffic lights.

He started with a roar, and chased on after Spike again.

Now, Spike reached his full speed. Angel tried hard, but Spike was too fast.

Whistling triumphantly, he plunged into the tunnel, leaving Angel far behind."

Spike: "We've done it! We've done it!"

Narrator: "Panted Spike."

Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle: "We've done it, hooray! We've done it, hooray!"

Narrator: "Chanted Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle, as they whooshed into the last station.

Everyone was there to celebrate Spike's victory, but they gave Angel a big welcome, too."

Angel: "Well done, Spike!"

Narrator: "Said Angel."

Angel: "That was fun. But to beat you over that hill, I should have to grow wings and be an airplane!"

Narrator: "They now keep each other very busy. They often talk about their race. But Angel's passengers don't like being bounced like peas in a frying pan, and Hoity Toity has warned Spike not to race at dangerous speeds, so although, between you and me, they would like to have another race, I don't think they ever will, do you?"

Night Light's Bird
Narrator: "Soarin the Wonderbolt Pony worked hard in the yard at the big station.

Sometimes he worked with buffaloes, sometimes he worked with changelings. But whatever the work, Soarin got the job done without fuss.

One day, Soarin was resting in the library when Hoity Toity arrived."

Hoity Toity: "Your work in the yard has been good. Would you like to have a route for your own?"

Soarin: "Yes, please sir."

Narrator: "Replied Soarin.

So Soarin took charge of his own route. The responsibility delighted him.

The route runs along the coast by sandy beaches till it meets a port where big ships come in.

Soarin enjoyed exploring every curve and corner of the line. Sea breezes swirled his breath high into the air, and his blue fur glistened in the sunlight."

Soarin: "This is just like being on holiday."

Narrator: "He puffed."

Soarin's Driver: "Well, you know what they say."

Narrator: "Laughed his driver."

Soarin's Driver: "A change is as good as a rest."

Narrator: "Soon Soarin was busier than ever.

Hoity Toity was building a new station at the port. Soarin pulled the heavy changelings wherever they were needed.

Angel looked after Soarin's passengers, and the other animals helped too, but the work took a long time.

Noise and dust filled the air."

Braeburn: "Don't worry."

Narrator: "Whistled Braeburn."

Braeburn: "The station's nearly finished."

Soarin: "And on time too."

Narrator: "Said Soarin thankfully.

Soarin felt his responsibility deeply and talked endlessly about it."

Soarin: "You don't understand, Night Light, how much Hoity Toity relies on me."

Night Light: "Och aye."

Narrator: "Muttered Night Light sleepily."

Soarin: "I'm a Wonderbolt Pony and I..."

Night Light: "Tweet, tweet, tweet!"

Soarin: "What?"

Night Light: "Ye heard. Tweet, tweet ye go. Sounds like ye'd an egg laid. Now wheesht and let a unicorn sleep."

Soarin: "Tweet yourself!"

Narrator: "Said Soarin indignantly.

Later he spoke to his driver."

Soarin: "Night Light says I tweet as if I'd laid an egg."

Soarin's Fireman: "Tweet, do you?"

Narrator: "Pondered his fireman. He whispered something to Soarin and his driver. They were going to play a joke on Night Light and pay him back for teasing Soarin.

The ponies were busy for the rest of the day and nothing more was said.

Not even a tweet.

But when at last Night Light was asleep, Soarin's driver and fireman popped something into his pocket.

Next morning, when Night Light stopped for water, he found that he had an unexpected passenger with him. A small bird popped out of his pocket."

Night Light: "Na doot who's behind this."

Narrator: "Laughed Night Light.

The bird was tame. She shared the fireman's sandwiches, and rode on Night Light. The other animals enjoyed teasing Night Light about her.

Presently, she grew tired of traveling and hopped off at a station, and there she stayed.

That night, Night Light's driver and fireman got busy, and in the morning when Soarin's crew arrived to look him over, they laughed and laughed."

Soarin's Driver: "Look, Soarin! Look what's behind you. It's a nest box with an egg in it!"

Narrator: "Night Light opened a sleepy eye."

Night Light: "Well, well, well. You must have laid it in the night, Soarin. All unbeknownst."

Narrator: "Then Soarin laughed too."

Soarin: "You win, Night Light. It'd take a clever animal to get the better of you."

Narrator: "There's a birdhouse near the bird's station. Here she often flies around and welcomes the animals as they pass by. The stationmaster calls her Dilly, but to everyone else, she is always Night Light's Bird."===Big Macintosh's Special Medicine=== Narrator: "One morning, Big Macintosh was feeling very sorry for himself. Sometimes he could work, but sometimes he had no strength at all."

Big Macintosh: "I suffer dreadfully and no one cares."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Rubbish, Big Mac!"

Narrator: "Snorted Cranky."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "You don't work hard enough!"

Narrator: "Hoity Toity spoke to him too."

Hoity Toity: "What's wrong with you, Big Mac? You've had lots of new parts and new fur too, but they've done you no good. If we can't make you better, we must get another horse instead of you to do the work."

Narrator: "This made Big Mac, his driver and his fireman very sad.

Hoity Toity was waiting when Big Mac came to the platform. He had taken off his coat and put on overalls.

Big Mac managed to start, but his fireman was not satisfied."

Big Macintosh's Fireman: "Big Mac is a bad puller."

Narrator: "He said to Hoity Toity."

Big Macintosh's Fireman: "I gave him his food, but it doesn't give enough strength."

Narrator: "Big Macintosh tried very hard, but it was no good. He didn't have enough strength, and came to a stop right outside Shining Armor's station."

Big Macintosh: "Oh dear!"

Narrator: "Thought Big Mac."

Big Macintosh: "I shall have to go away. Oh dear, oh dear!"

Narrator: "All he could do was move slowly into a corner and Shining Armor took charge of the buffaloes.

Hoity Toity and the fireman went on discussing Big Mac's troubles."

Hoity Toity: "What do you think is wrong, fireman?"

Narrator: "Asked Hoity Toity."

Big Macintosh's Fireman: "Excuse me, sir."

Narrator: "He said."

Big Macintosh's Fireman: "But the fact is the medicine is wrong. We've had a poor lot lately, and today it's worst. The other animals can manage. They have big stomachs. Big Mac's is small and can't make the strength. With Welsh medicine, he'd be a different horse."

Hoity Toity: "It's expensive."

Narrator: "Said Hoity Toity."

Hoity Toity: "But Big Mac must have a fair chance. Cranky shall go and fetch some."

Narrator: "When the Welsh medicine arrived, Big Mac's driver and fireman were excited."

Big Macintosh's Driver: "Now we'll show them, Big Mac old fellow!"

Narrator: "They carefully gave him his medicine giving him small bits at a time."

Big Macintosh: "You're spoiling my body!"

Narrator: "Moaned Big Mac."

Big Macintosh's Fireman: "Wait and see."

Narrator: "Said the fireman."

Big Macintosh's Fireman: "You'll have a roaring body just when we want it."

Narrator: "The fireman was right. When Big Macintosh reached the platform, his body was good and healthy, and he had to cheer out loud."

Hoity Toity: "How are you, Big Mac."

Big Macintosh: "Peep, peep, peep! I feel fine!"

Hoity Toity: "Have you a good body, driver?"

Big Macintosh's Driver: "Never better, sir, and plenty of strength."

Hoity Toity: "No record breaking."

Narrator: "Warned Hoity Toity."

Hoity Toity: "Don't push him too hard."

Big Macintosh's Driver: "Big Mac won't need pushing, sir. I'll have to hold him back."

Narrator: "Big Mac had a lovely day. He had never felt so well in his life. He wanted to go fast, but his driver wouldn't let him."

Big Macintosh's Driver: "Steady, old fellow."

Narrator: "He would say."

Big Macintosh's Driver: "There's plenty of time."

Narrator: "They arrived early at the station. Spike came in."

Big Macintosh: "Where have you been, lazybones?"

Narrator: "Asked Big Mac."

Big Macintosh: "Oh, I can't wait for dawdling dragons, like you. Goodbye!"

Spike: "Whoosh!"

Narrator: "Said Spike to the fillies."

Spike: "Have you ever seen anything like it?"

Narrator: "Both Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle agreed that they never had."

No Joke for Cranky
Narrator: "Cranky is a mixed-traffic donkey. He can take both changelings and buffaloes. He's proud of his smart brown fur and blonde wig, and so is his driver."

Cranky Doodle Donkey's Driver: "Everyone says you brighten up their day, Cranky."

Narrator: "One morning, Cranky whistled loudly at the other animals."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Look at me! I am the smartest, most useful animal on the path!"

Spike: "Rubbish!"

Narrator: "Replied Spike."

Spike: "We're all useful! Hoity Toity says so, and he's head of the whole town."

Pipsqueak: "You know what, Cranky?"

Narrator: "Added Pipsqueak."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "What?"

Narrator: "Replied Cranky."

Pipsqueak: "You're getting all puffed up."

Narrator: "Cranky huffed away.

Later, he was still boasting."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "I'm the pride of the path."

Chief Thunderhooves: "I saw you taking changelings."

Narrator: "Snorted Chief Thunderhooves."

Chief Thunderhooves: "You're only a goods donkey."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "I take buffaloes too!"

Chief Thunderhooves: "Not as mush as I do."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "But Hoity Toity has plans for me."

Narrator: "Cranky was only making this up, but Chief Thunderhooves believed him."

Chief Thunderhooves: "What plans?"

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Ah, wait and see.

Oh dear."

Narrator: "He thought."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Now what'll I do?"

Narrator: "Spike was arranging shiny new buffaloes."

Spike: "Good morning, Cranky."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Are those buffaloes for me?"

Narrator: "Asked Cranky hopefully."

Spike: "No. These are for Chief Thunderhooves' express. I'll fetch your changelings next."

Narrator: "But Cranky was going to play a trick on the other animals."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Actually, Spike, I'm taking the buffaloes. Hoity Toity asked me to tell you."

Spike: "What about the changelings?"

Narrator: "Asked Spike."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Ah, give them Chief Thunderhooves."

Spike's Driver: "Come on, Spike."

Narrator: "Said his driver."

Spike's Driver: "Orders are orders."

Narrator: "So when Cranky's driver returned, Cranky was hooked up to the buffaloes and he puffed away.

Spike returned with the changelings, and a few minutes later, Chief Thunderhooves arrived."

Chief Thunderhooves: "Where's the express?"

Narrator: "Spike told him about Cranky."

Spike: "And so here are your changelings."

Narrator: "Chief Thunderhooves was very cross, and so was his driver."

Chief Thunderhooves' Driver: "Wait till Hoity Toity hears about this!"

Narrator: "Meanwhile, Cranky was enjoying himself enormously."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "What a clever plan, what a clever plan!"

Narrator: "He chuffed.

Then he saw Hoity Toity."

Hoity Toity: "Some jokes are funny, but not this one Cranky. You have caused confusion!"

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Yes, sir."

Narrator: "Said Cranky."

Hoity Toity: "You will now stay in your house until you are wanted!"

Narrator: "The other animals teased Cranky."

Chief Thunderhooves: "I wonder who'll be pulling the express today."

Narrator: "Said Chief Thunderhooves

Big Macintosh: "I expect it'll be you."

Narrator: "Replied Big Macintosh."

Big Macintosh: "Cranky is stuck in his house for being silly."

Narrator: "Cranky felt sad.

Next morning, he went back to work."

Spike: "Hello."

Narrator: "Whistled Spike."

Spike: "Good to see you out and about again."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "I'm sorry I tricked you."

Narrator: "Said Cranky."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Are these my changelings?"

Spike: "Yes."

Narrator: "Replied Spike kindly."

Spike: "They are pleased to have you back."

Narrator: "Cranky set off to the harbor with his line of changelings. He bustled about all day, pushing and pulling them into place."

Cranky Doodle Donkey's Driver: "Time to go home now, Cranky."

Narrator: "Said his driver at last."

Cranky Doodle Donkey's Driver: "No changelings or passengers, just we two."

Narrator: "But his driver was wrong."

Jeremiah Jobling: "Excuse me."

Narrator: "Called a man."

Jeremiah Jobling: "I have a meeting with Hoity Toity and I mustn't be late. May I come back with you?"

Cranky Doodle Donkey's Driver: "Of course."

Narrator: "Replied Cranky's driver. Then he whispered to Cranky."

Cranky Doodle Donkey's Driver: "This gentleman is a town inspector."

Narrator: "Cranky was most impressed.

He walked along the path as smoothly and quickly as he could

Hoity Toity was waiting on the platform, and the town inspector greeted them warmly."

Jeremiah Jobling: "This clever donkey gave me a splendid walk. You must be proud of him."

Hoity Toity: "Yes, indeed. Once again you are a Really Useful Donkey."

Heroes
Narrator: "One morning, Snips and Snails were busy at the quarry, pushing and pulling changelings into their proper places. The unicorns are cheeky and love playing tricks, but they were growing restless."

Snails: "Listen, Snips."

Narrator: "Said Snails."

Snails: "Can you hear something?"

Snips: "What sort of something?"

Narrator: "Asked Snips."

Snails: "Something different."

Narrator: "Replied Snails."

Snips: "I can't hear anything different."

Narrator: "Said Snips."

Snails: "Exactly."

Narrator: "Huffed Snails."

Snails: "Everything is the same, sounds the same, looks the same. What we need is a surprise."

Snips: "Surprise what?"

Narrator: "Asked Snips. Before Snails could answer, the quarry master arrived."

Quarry Master: "I have just received a message from Hoity Toity. He wants you to go to the station at the harbor."

Snips: "I wonder what we've done wrong this time."

Narrator: "Said Snips anxiously."

Snails: "It must be you."

Narrator: "Replied Snails."

Snips: "Why me?"

Narrator: "Exclaimed Snips."

Snips: "I've not done anything."

Hoity Toity: "Shining Armor is taking the children on a special trip today. I want you to go to the station and look after changelings there."

Snips and Snails: "We'll do our best, sir."

Narrator: "Said the unicorns.

Chief Thunderhooves spoke severely to them."

Chief Thunderhooves: "You must behave here. You're on the main road now."

Snails: "Actually, Chief Thunderhooves."

Narrator: "Giggled Snails."

Snails: "When we saw you, we thought this was the scrapyard."

Narrator: "Chief Thunderhooves was cross."

Chief Thunderhooves: "Just make sure that my buffaloes are ready for my evening run."

Narrator: "And he fumed away. The unicorns laughed and set to work."

Snips and Snails: "This is easy."

Narrator: "They said to each other."

Snips and Snails: "We know all about changelings."

Narrator: "But I'm afraid they didn't."

Changelings: "No need for that."

Narrator: "Shouted the changelings, as the unicorns pushed them into place."

Changelings: "We'll show you around. We want to help."

Snips and Snails: "Thank you very much."

Narrator: "Said Snips and Snails. The changelings giggled and began their tricks.

Evening came. The yard was in a dreadful muddle. The unicorns had let the changelings tell them were to put things.

Chief Thunderhooves and the passengers waited impatiently outside the station while Snips and Snails tried to sort things out.

But by the time Chief Thunderhooves was ready to leave, it was very late, indeed.

Next day, the unicorns were working in the quarry again."

(Rocks start falling)

Snips: "That's a strange noise."

Narrator: "Gasped Snips."

Snips: "I've never heard a noise like that before."

Snips' Driver: "I have."

Narrator: "Whispered his driver nervously."

Snips' Driver: "It sounds like a rock slide to me."

Narrator: "Then came the alarm."

Quarry Master: "Danger! Clear the quarry!"

Narrator: "Shouted the quarry master. Workmen scrambled to the changelings."

Snips and Snails: "Thank goodness we're here."

Narrator: "Said the unicorns.

They were just puffing out of the quarry when,"

Workman: "Help! Wait for me!"

Narrator: "A workman had been left behind. Snails waited as the man climbed quickly on the changelings.

The unicorns left the quarry just in time.

(Rock slide continues)

Everyone was safe, but rubble lay all around."

Snips: "Oh dear!"

Narrator: "Said Snips."

Snips: "This wasn't our fault. I hope Hoity Toity will understand."

Narrator: "And indeed, he did. Next day, he arrived with Shining Armor."

Hoity Toity: "Snips and Snails, you still have a lot to learn about changelings, don't you? But you acted quickly and bravely in an emergency. So three cheers for Snips and Snails, our heroes!"

Hoity Toity and Workmen: "Hip, hip, hooray, hooray, hooray!"

Snips: "Oh thank you, sir."

Narrator: "Said Snips."

Snips: "Being called heroes, well, it's, it's,"

Snails: "It's a very nice surprise."

Narrator: "Laughed Snails."