The Friendship Express (Spike and Friends version)

The Spike and Friends version of The Friendship Express is a My Little Pony/Thomas parody of ThomasandMichael's fan-made Thomas and Friends US DVD of the same name. It features four eighteenth season episodes narrated by Mark Moraghan, two segments and two songs.

Cast

 * Spike as Thomas
 * Shining Armor as Edward
 * Filthy Rich as Henry
 * Big Macintosh as Gordon
 * Cranky Doodle Donkey as James
 * Pipsqueak as Percy
 * Braeburn as Toby
 * Soarin as Duck
 * Dr. Hooves as Oliver
 * Snips as Bill
 * Snails as Ben
 * Rarity as Emily
 * Prince Blueblood as Spencer
 * Cherry Fizzy as Porter
 * Shady Daze as Timothy
 * Discord as Diesel
 * Twilight Sparkle as Mavis
 * Cheese Sandwich as Salty
 * Apple Bloom as Annie
 * Sweetie Belle as Clarabel
 * Scootaloo as Henrietta
 * Party Favor, Sugar Belle and Double Diamond as The Slip Coaches
 * Changelings as The Troublesome Trucks
 * Gustave Le Grand as Cranky
 * Hoity Toity as Sir Topham Hatt
 * Train Conductor/Steamer as Mr. Perkins
 * Thunderlane as Stanley (cameo)
 * Mr. Waddle as Hiro (cameo)
 * Rainbow Dash as Belle (cameo)
 * Diamond Tiara as Arry (cameo) (I know, Diamond Tiara is female)
 * Silver Spoon as Bert (cameo) (I know, Silver Spoon is female)
 * Tank as Toad (cameo)
 * Everyone else as Themselves

Episodes

 * 1) Spike the Quarry Dragon
 * 2) Soarin and the Slip Ponies
 * 3) Prince Blueblood's VIP
 * 4) Old Reliable Shining Armor

Segments

 * Steamer's Storytime: Spike Goes Fishing
 * Song: The Best Friends Express
 * Steamer's Postcard: Bridges
 * Song: Animal Roll Call

Spike the Quarry Dragon
Narrator: "At the very end of Spike's route lays the Ponyville Quarry, one of the oldest quarries in Equestria. Twilight Sparkle is the alicorn who works there, arranging changelings with stone."

Twilight Sparkle: "Get in line and get ready. You're all heading off for the docks this afternoon."

Changelings: "Oh, ow, ow!"

Narrator: "It's not an easy job, but Twilight knows how to keep the changelings in line.

One day, there was a big order of stone from the Quarry to the docks. Spike and Discord had been sent to collect it, but they couldn't agree on which of them would be the back animal."

Spike: "It would be better if you to be my back animal, Discord, After all, it is my route."

Discord: "Nonsense, Spike! You should be my back animal. Having a draconquus on your route is bound to improve it."

Spike: "I could take the changelings by myself."

Discord: "Don't make me laugh! Those changelings are much too heavy for one animal, especially a baby dragon like you."

Twilight Sparkle: "You two should stop arguing. You don't know how lucky are you. I work here in the quarry all the time. At least you get to see the rest of Ponyville and the seaside."

Spike: "Would you like to be my back animal, Twilight?"

Twilight Sparkle: "Oh no, Spike. I have too much work to do here. There are more changelings to get ready and,"

Spike: "I'm sure Discord can look after things here until you get back."

Twilight Sparkle: "That does sound nice, if Discord agrees. In fact, it's a lovely idea."

Discord: "Well, I've got a better one. You can be my front animal, Twilight. Magical creatures are new and revolutionary. We'd be two magical creatures working together."

Twilight Sparkle: "Well, I suppose. Please, Spike, can you look after things here until I get back?"

Discord: "Ta-ta Spike! See you later."

Twilight Sparkle: "There are more changelings to get ready. They need to go to the docks by four. But you'll have to mind them, they can be very troublesome."

Spike: (sighs) "I do know how to look after changelings, Twilight."

Narrator: "Spike set to work taking empty changelings to be filled with stone, and shunting full ones into line. But the changelings were very troublesome. They didn't like to be pushed."

Changelings: "Oh, stop that!"

Narrator: "And they didn't like to be pulled."

Changelings: "Oh, stop! Leave us alone!"

Narrator: "Spike started to get very impatient. He was ready for Twilight and Discord to come back."

Spike: (sighs)

Twilight Sparkle: "Oh, I do love to be by the seaside!"

Cheese Sandwich: "Ah, you're an alicorn after me own heart, Twilight."

Twilight Sparkle: "Thanks for letting me work with you, Discord. But we really do have to get back."

Discord: "What's the rush? We could do another job together. These changelings need to go to the yards. Come on!"

Spike: "Ah ha, here they are at last.

You're not Twilight and Discord."

Braeburn: "I never said we were, did I?"

Scootaloo: "I would have noticed it if you had."

Spike: "But these changelings need to get to the docks, and I need a back animal to take them. Would you like to work with me, Braeburn? You can be my back animal."

Braeburn: "That's too many changelings for me, Spike. And besides, I need to take the workers home for their supper."

Scootaloo: "Just be patient, Spike. I'm sure Twilight and Discord will be back very soon."

Narrator: "Twilight and Discord had delivered the changelings to the yards. Now Twilight was ready to get back to the quarry."

Twilight Sparkle: "I've had a great time, Discord. But I really do need to get back now."

Discord: "But, there are more changelings that need to be taken to the Everfree Forest, Twilight. We make a good time, you and me.

You'd get to see the Ponyville Bridge."

Narrator: "Spike was still waiting and getting very impatient."

Spike: "Hoity Toity will be very cross if these changelings don't get to the docks on time. But, he would be very happy it I took them myself. That's it! I'll show that revolutionary Discord I don't need a back animal after all."

Narrator: "The changelings thought that was a great idea."

Changelings: "Yes, Spike. Do it. We won't push, and we won't hold back. We'll be on our very best behavior." (Laugh)

Narrator: "The changelings were heavy and hard to pull without a back animal. But once they were rolling, they went very well.

Until they reached the first hill."

Changelings: "Hold back, hold back!" (Laugh)

Narrator: "Without a back animal to push from behind, it was very hard to pull the heavy changelings up the hill."

Spike: "Oh! You said you were going to be good."

Changelings: (Giggle) "Sorry, Spike. We forgot. We won't hold you back anymore." (Laugh)

Spike: "What? No! Help!"

Changelings: "On, on! Faster, faster!" (Laugh)

Narrator: "Without a back animal to pull back from behind, it was very hard to slow down, and Spike's trailer wasn't strong enough to stop the heavy changelings."

Changelings: (Laugh) "Faster, faster!"

Spike: "Oh no! Braeburn, look out!"

Narrator: "Luckily, a signalman switched him on a siding."

(CRASH!)

Changelings: (Laugh)

Twilight Sparkle: "Spike, what happened?"

Spike: "You two were taking so long, I decided not to wait and take the changelings by myself."

Twilight Sparkle: "Without a back animal?"

Spike: "Not a good idea. I know."

Discord: "Sorry, Spike. I did tell Twilight a number of times that we should get back to the quarry."

Twilight Sparkle: "What? You never said... Oh!"

Hoity Toity: (Clears throat)

Narrator: "Twilight and Discord helped to get Spike and the changelings back onto the path."

Hoity Toity: "I know naughty Discord and Twilight Sparkle left you all on your own, Spike, but you should never have taken those changelings without a back animal."

Spike: "I'm sorry, sir. I was trying to be useful."

Narrator: "Hoity Toity sent Twilight Sparkle back to the quarry to do what she does best. But he also realized that now and then, it was nice for her to take changelings down to the docks, and take makes Twilight a very happy alicorn, indeed."

Twilight Sparkle: "Oh! I do like to be beside the seaside." (Cheese Sandwich joins in) "Oh! I do like to be beside the sea. Oh! I do like to stroll along the Prom, Prom, Prom. Where the brass bands play:" (Gustave joins in) "Tiddely-om-pom-pom!" (Spike joins in) "Oh! I do like to be beside the seaside." (Cherry Fizzy joins in) "Oh! I do like to be beside the sea. When I'm down beside the sea. I'm beside myself with glee. Beside the seaside! Beside the sea!"

Steamer's Storytime: Spike Goes Fishing
Steamer: "My favorite lunch. Oh, I can't wait.

Oh, hello there. I'm one of the drivers on the railway in Equestria. I'm on my break. So I've come to Mr. Edwards' signalbox to eat my lunch.

I've got fish and chips. And they're still hot. (Eats one of the fries) Oh! A bit too hot actually. I think I better leave them to cool down.

That reminds me of a story? Do you remember when Spike had fish and chips? Or rather he didn't. His driver did.

Here we are. Spike Goes Fishing:

Spike's route had a station by a river. As he rumbled over he bridge, he would see people fishing. Spike thought it would be lovely to stop by the river.

Every time he met another animal, he would say,"

Spike: "I want to fish."

Steamer: "They all answered 'Dragons don't go fishing'.

One day, Spike stopped to drink water at the station by the driver. His driver turned the tap, but it was out of order, and no water came."

Spike's Driver: "Never mind."

Steamer: "Said his driver."

Spike's Driver: "We'll get some water from the river."

Steamer: "They found a bucket and some rope, and went to the bridge. The bucket was old and had five holes. So they had to fill it, pull it up and give it to Spike as quickly as they could."

Spike: "That's good. That's good."

Steamer: "Puffed Spike, as he started along the valley.

But then, he began to feel a pain in his body, and smoke began to come from him."

Spike: "Oh dear!"

Steamer: "Groaned Spike."

Spike: "I'm going to burst! I'm going to burst!"

Steamer: "They fanned away the smoke and struggled on.

Just outside the last station, they ran Spike on a siding right out of the way. And his driver wrote notices in large letters 'DANGER. KEEP AWAY'.

Soon, the inspector and Hoity Toity arrived. The inspector looked inside Spike."

Inspector: "Excuse me, sir."

Steamer: "He said to Hoity Toity."

Inspector: "Please look inside and tell me what do you see."

Hoity Toity: "Gracious goodness me!"

Steamer: "Said Hoity Toity."

Hoity Toity: "How did the fish get in there?"

Steamer: "Spike's driver told him about the bucket. Hoity Toity laughed."

Hoity Toity: "Well, Spike. So you and your driver have been fishing. But fish don't suit you, and we must get them out."

So the driver and fireman fetched rods and nets and took turns fishing in Spike. Then, they all had a lovely picnic supper of fish and chips beside the path."

Hoity Toity: "That was good."

Steamer: "Said Hoity Toity."

Steamer: "But you mustn't do it again."

Spike: "I won't."

Steamer: "Said Spike sadly."

Spike: "Dragons don't go fishing. It's too uncomfortable."

Steamer: "Poor Spike. But at least they had a lovely picnic supper of fish and chips, like me.

Hmmm. Lovely."

Soarin and the Slip Ponies
Narrator: "It was high summer and the busiest time of the year in Ponyville. Holidaymakers from the mainland flocked to the beach and other attractions. The animals were busier than they'd ever been before."

Spike: "Bust my scales, what a day! I've never seen so many passengers."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "I don't mind. All the more people to admire my shine brown fur."

Narrator: "At this time of years, Hoity Toity would often worry about getting everyone to their destinations on time."

Hoity Toity: All aboard! Come on, Cranky. There's no time for dillydallying. Chop-chop. We can't have any delays." (Inflatable toy flies onto his head) "Oh. What's this? Oh, my!"

Spike and Cranky Doodle Donkey: (Laugh)

Hoity Toity: "That's enough of that, thank you, Spike and Cranky. Off you go."

Spike and Cranky Doodle Donkey: (Chuckle)

Spike: "Yes, sir."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Right, sir."

(Whistles toot)

Hoity Toity: "Oh!"

Narrator: "That night, Soarin stayed at the library so he could help with all the extra passengers in the morning."

Soarin: "Evening, all."

Spike: "Hello, Soarin. Nice to see you."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Oh no! Not that old fuddy-duddy."

Narrator: "Soarin liked to talk about the old days when he worked in Cloudsdale. Cranky thought he was a bit annoying."

Soarin: "You know, days like today remind me of summers back in Cloudsdale."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Oh, here we go."

Soarin: "We carried so many holidaymakers, they used to call it 'The Sunshine Route'. In those days, I used to work with slip ponies, ponies which could be unhooked without even stopping.

(People cheering)

Soarin: "That way, we always ran on time, and there were never any delays."

Spike: "Wow! I've never heard of slip ponies before."

Soarin: "You had to be careful, though. Go too slow in the stations, and they'd bump into the back of you! It took a lot of skill and expert timing."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Pah! Sounds easy to me. Silly old wonderbolt stories."

Soarin: "There are two ways of doing things, Cranky; the wrong way or the Wonderbolt Way."

(Rarity arrives and sees that library is full)

Rarity: "Oh."

Hoity Toity: "Tomorrow is going to be our busiest day ever in Ponyville. I just don't know how we'll get everyone to their destinations on time."

Narrator: "When Cranky heard what Hoity Toity said, it gave him an idea."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "I know what would help deliver all the passengers on time, sir. They're called slip ponies."

Hoity Toity: "Slip ponies? Go on, Cranky."

Narrator: "And Cranky told Hoity Toity all about the slip ponies and how they help avoid delays."

Spike: "Oh, wow!"

Shining Armor: "Oh, look at that!"

Big Macintosh: "Most impressive!"

Filthy Rich: "They're incredible!"

Spike: "Amazing!"

Pipsqueak: "That's wonderful!"

Soarin: "My old slip ponies! I don't believe it! Coo-ee hello!"

Hoity Toity: "Settle down please, animals. Now to avoid confusion and delay on this very busy day, I have brought some special slip ponies named Party Favor, Sugar Belle and Double Diamond across from the mainland. But it wasn't my idea. It was Cranky's!"

Soarin: "What?"

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "That's right, sir. Thanks to me, there will be no delays in Ponyville today."

Spike, Shining Armor, Filthy Rich, Big Macintosh and Pipsqueak: "Hooray! Oh, yeah, Cranky!"

Hoity Toity: "Ha-ha! Quite right, Cranky. Off you go, all of you."

Soarin: "But, I told Cranky about the slip ponies. It was my idea."

Narrator: "But no one was left to listen to Soarin. Feeling rather sad, he steamed away."

Soarin: "Ohh."

Hoity Toity: "Passengers, pay attention. Make sure you get onto the right pony, the one that's stopping at your station."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "All aboard! I'll get you there on time with my brand new slip ponies."

Narrator: "Cranky was very pleased with himself. He liked it when people waved at him."

People: "Hooray!"

Narrator: "He thought he was very clever for working with the slip ponies."

Party Favor: "Do you think Cranky knows what he's doing?"

Sugar Belle: "I don't know."

Double Diamond: "I hope so."

Narrator: "Cranky was approaching his first stop. Soarin was sad that it wasn't him working with the slip ponies."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Prepare to unhook the rear pony."

Soarin: "Don't slow down too much in the station, Cranky, or Double Diamond will bump into the back of you."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Yes, yes. Thank you, Soarin. I know what to do. Release the pony!"

Narrator: "But Cranky liked everyone to see his shiny brown fur and blond wig, so he slowed down."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Hello, everybody. Glad to be of service."

Double Diamond: "Ooh!"

Narrator: "Double Diamond couldn't stop and bumped into the back of the other slip ponies."

Soarin: (Gasps)

Narrator: "Luckily, no one was hurt, but after that, Party Favor, Sugar Belle and Double Diamond refused to move."

Party Favor: "We won't go with Cranky!"

Sugar Belle: "He doesn't know how to use slip ponies!"

Double Diamond: "No, not at all!"

Narrator: "That was when Hoity Toity arrived and found the passengers all complaining and saying what a bad place Ponyville was."

Hoity Toity: "Oh, Cranky. What have you done? These slip ponies were a terrible idea."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "But, sir, they just take a bit of getting used to. That's all."

Soarin: "Maybe I could help, sir?"

Narrator: "Party Favor, Sugar Belle and Double Diamond were overjoyed to see their old friend, Soarin."

Party Favor, Sugar Belle and Double Diamond: "Hello, Soarin!"

Soarin: "Hello slippies!"

Hoity Toity: "Do you mean to say you know these slip ponies, Soarin?"

Soarin: "Of course. I used to work with them in Cloudsdale, as I was telling Cranky last night."

Narrator: "Suddenly, Hoity Toity understood. Cranky had only pretended to know about slip ponies. Really, it was all Soarin's idea."

Hoity Toity: "Soarin, perhaps you would like to take the slip ponies around Ponyville, it that's alright with them, of course."

Party Favor: "Yay, Soarin!"

Sugar Belle: "Of course it is!"

Double Diamond: "Capital idea!"

Narrator: "So, Soarin took over working with Party Favor, Sugar Belle and Double Diamond.

And even though it was the busiest day Ponyville had ever seen, thanks to Soarin and the slip ponies, everyone reached their destinations on time, and all the passengers agreed it was a very good town indeed."

Soarin: "Evening, all."

Hoity Toity: "Three cheers for Soarin and the slip ponies! Hip-hip!"

Everyone (except Cranky): "Hooray!"

Hoity Toity: "Hip-hip!"

Everyone (except Cranky): "Hooray!"

Hoity Toity: "Hip-hip!"

Everyone (except Cranky): "Hooray!"

Soarin: "It just goes to show there really are only two ways of doing things; the wrong way or..."

Everyone (except Cranky and Rarity): "The Wonderbolt way!" (Laugh)

The Best Friends Express

 * All aboard the Best Friends Express
 * The sun will shine, let Spike do the rest


 * Come on board the Best Friends Express
 * Adventure time from north, south, east and west


 * A special day with all your friends
 * Seems like it will never end


 * Oh yeah!


 * So much to do, best friends with you
 * Make you smile when you're feeling blue


 * We can go anywhere
 * Come on Spike and take us there


 * All aboard the Best Friends Express
 * The sun will shine, let Spike do the rest


 * Yeah!


 * Come on board the Best Friends Express
 * Adventure time from north, south, east and west


 * We can go anywhere
 * Come on Spike and take us there


 * All aboard the Best Friends Express
 * The sun will shine, let Spike do the rest


 * Hey!
 * Come on board the Best Friends Express
 * Adventure time from north, south, east and west

Prince Blueblood's VIP
Narrator: "It was early morning, and Spike and his friends were just waking up when Hoity Toity came to see them."

Hoity Toity: "I want you all to be on your very best behavior today. A VIP is coming to Ponyville."

Pipsqueak: "What's a V-eyed pea?"

Spike: "A VIP means a very important passenger, Pipsqueak."

Hoity Toity: "That's right, Spike, and this VIP is a deputy minister who's presenting me with an award for..." (Clears throat) "services to Ponyville."

Spike, Shining Armor, Filthy Rich, Big Mac, Cranky, Pipsqueak and Rarity: (Cheer)

Big Macintosh: "Perhaps you would like me to collect this deputy minister, sir."

Hoity Toity: "I'm sorry, Big Macintosh, but Prince Blueblood is already bringing him."

Big Macintosh: "Prince Blueblood?! Oh, I might have known."

Prince Blueblood: "I'll have you there ahead of schedule, sir. I do know how important it is to be on time."

Deputy Minister: "Thank you, Prince Blueblood. Just keep your eyes on the path, please."

(Prince Blueblood races through a station)

Man: "Oh, my hat! My hat!"

Narrator: "Prince Blueblood was going so fast trying to get the deputy minister to the town hall on time,"

Prince Blueblood: "Out of the way, slow coach!"

Narrator: "He forgot to pay attention to any of the signals."

Shining Armor: "Oh, such a show-off!"

Narrator: "At the junction, the signalman had set the points to send Shining Armor along the branch line, but Prince Blueblood arrived first. So Prince Blueblood was sent onto the branch line by mistake."

(Elephant trumpeting and animals chattering)

Deputy Minister: "Shouldn't we have reach the town hall by now, Prince Blueblood?"

Prince Blueblood: "Perhaps I should put on more speed, sir."

Narrator: "But Prince Blueblood was no longer on the main line to the town hall. Prince Blueblood was on the branch line that let to the clay pits."

Prince Blueblood: "But how did I..."

Shady Daze: "Hello, Prince Blueblood. What are you doing here?"

Prince Blueblood: "I don't know. There's been some mistake. Uh, sorry, sir, but we seemed to have ended up on the wrong path."

Snips: (Laughs) "Don't you want to take some clay changelings with you, Prince Blueblood?"

Snips and Snails: (Laughing)

Snails: "That would be really useful."

Snips and Snails: (Laughing)

Narrator: "By the time Prince Blueblood finally arrived at the town hall, he was very late indeed."

Deputy Minister: "I came here to present you with a Ponyville award, Hoity Toity, but I'm not very impressed with my transport so far, and I will not travel back to the mainland with this unicorn."

Big Macintosh: "Not to worry. I can take you back to the mainland, sir."

Hoity Toity: "Thank you, Big Mac, but I'll decide who's taking the deputy minister back at the end of the day."

Spike: "Maybe I'll be the one who takes the deputy minister back."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "You'll be lucky. Surely Hoity Toity will pick me!"

Big Macintosh: "Nonsense! You're both much too slow."

Spike and Cranky Doodle Donkey: "We can go just as fast as you!"

Narrator: "That day, all the animals hurried about their work, trying to show how quick they could be. They all wanted to chosen to take the deputy minister back to the mainland. Prince Blueblood watch the other animals rush about. He was feeling very sorry for himself"

Prince Blueblood: "If only I hadn't been in such a hurry. If only I had tried to get my job done properly without showing off."

Narrator: "But it was the other animals who were showing off now."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: (Laughs) "Sugar Cube Corner! Right on time."

(Cranky stops so quickly)

Passengers: (Murmuring frightfully)

Big Macintosh: "Oh, ho-ho! Oh, Cranky, your poor passengers. You mustn't stop so quickly."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Well, at least my passengers can step onto the platform, Big Mac."

Big Macintosh: "Oh."

Narrator: "By trying so hard to be fast, the animals were causing confusion and delay."

Soarin: "Dr. Hooves, what are you doing on my path?"

Dr. Hooves: "Your path? Who said this is your path?"

Soarin: "There are two ways of doing things, Dr. Hooves. The Wonderbolt way and..."

Dr. Hooves: "The wrong way. I know, and you're doing it the wrong way!"

Narrator: "All the animals were making silly mistakes, but Spike's mistakes were the silliest of all."

Apple Bloom: "Spike! What are you doing?"

Sweetie Belle: "Fillies don't need gems!"

Spike: "Sorry!"

Narrator: "At the end of the day, Hoity Toity was very disappointed with his animals."

Hoity Toity: "Everyone makes mistakes, but when you are showing off and in a hurry, you make far more mistakes than usual, and you have all been showing off! I don't think any of these animals deserve to take you home to the mainland, sir. Perhaps I can lend you my car."

Big Macintosh: "Oh, the indignity!"

Prince Blueblood: "Perhaps you'd let me take the deputy minister home after all."

Hoity Toity: "You, Prince Blueblood?"

Prince Blueblood: "I can learn from my mistakes, sir. I just need to be given one more chance."

Deputy Minister: "Prince Blueblood is right. Everyone deserves a second chance. I will forget what happened today, and maybe tomorrow I can come back and see how Ponyville really runs."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Yes, sir."

Spike: "Thank you, sir!"

Narrator: "So the next day, the deputy minister did come back, and all of Hoity Toity's animals showed him just how well Ponyville could be run."

Deputy Minister: "Excellent, Hoity Toity! You run a very fine town indeed."

Hoity Toity: "I told you they were really useful animals."

Spike, Prince Blueblood, Cranky Doodle Donkey and Pipsqueak: "Hooray!"

Steamer's Postcards: Bridges
Steamer: "Oh, hello again. We get a lot of letters in Ponyville. People write to ask questions about the town, or to say hello to the animals, or sometimes because they have something to complain about. This letter is from a Mrs. Parsnip. She's a bit cross because her ride was delayed due to works on the paths. So Hoity Toity has asked me to write to her to explain. I'm going to send her this postcard of the bridges of Equestria. That outta cheer her up a bit.

Dear Mrs. Parsnip,

I'm sorry your ride was delayed due to bridge work being carried out onto the branch route. This just goes to show you how important most bridges are. There are many bridges in Equestria. Stone bridges, metal bridges and even bridges made of wood. Some bridges are for animals to go over, and some bridges are for animals to go under. And they're all there to help animals get where they want to go as quickly as possible. Without the suspension bridge, animals would have to wind slowly all the way down one side of the valley and up the other side again. That would take much longer. Without the rolling bridge, there would be no quick way to travel back and forth to the mainland. Passengers would have to wait to catch the ferry instead. Without the road and rail bridges, animals and engines would have to stop and wait at level crossings all the time. So you can see how important the bridges are, but it is also important to keep the railway safe. So sometimes, maintenance work be done for both on the path and on the bridges. And unfortunately, that could mean journeys would take longer. But it only goes to remind us how really useful bridges are.

Yours sincerely,

Steamer.

Right. Better get this in the post quickly. I'll put it in the postbox as soon as I get back to the town hall. See you again soon. Goodbye."

Old Reliable Shining Armor
Narrator: "Shining Armor is one of the older unicorns in Ponyville. He is a mixed-traffic unicorn, which means sometimes he takes buffaloes, and sometimes he takes changelings.

He's not the smallest animal, but he's not the big either. Some of the bigger animals like to tease Shining Armor, especially Big Macintosh."

Big Macintosh: "It's a shame you're such an old unicorn, Shining Armor. You're not very reliable."

Shining Armor: "What do you mean?"

Big Macintosh: "You know, getting injured all the time."

Shining Armor: "I haven't been injured in ages."

Big Macintosh: "Oh, really?"

Narrator: "Hoity Toity knows that Shining Armor is a really useful unicorn. And that is why he's given him is own route; the route that runs to the Crystal Empire.

One day, Big Mac was taking the express buffaloes up Big Mac's Hill, when he thought he saw a red flag blowing beside the path."

Big Macintosh: "Oh no. That's a danger signal. I'd better stop.

That's not a danger signal, those are red..."

Narrator: "It was a pair of pants that had blown off a washing line.

Then there was trouble. Big Mac couldn't start up again on the steep hill with his long heavy express buffaloes."

Big Macintosh: "Oh."

Narrator: "Shining Armor had just arrived at Sugar Cube Corner when the stationmaster stopped him."

Stationmaster: "Big Mac is stuck on his hill. He needs a banker animal to give him push."

Shining Armor: "Not again. And he says I'm the one that's unreliable. Honestly."

Narrator: "Big Mac was waiting very impatiently for Shining Armor when Rarity came along."

Rarity: "Having a rest, are you, Big Mac?"

Big Macintosh: "I wish Shining Armor would get here and give me a push before anymore animals see me."

Spike: "Oh dear, Big Mac." (Laughs) "I see you got stuck on your hill again."

Big Macintosh: "It wasn't my fault, Spike. There were some red pants by the path, and they looked like a danger signal."

Spike: "Red pants? Danger signal?"

Spike, Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle: (Laugh)

Big Macintosh: "Humph!"

Narrator: "By the time Shining Armor arrived, Big Mac was rather cross."

Big Macintosh: "You took your time, Shining Armor! You're so old and slow, I'm surprise Hoity Toity keeps you on!"

Spike: "You're not moving very quickly yourself, Big Mac."

Narrator: "Big Mac was still fuming as Shining Armor pushed him up the hill."

Shining Armor: (Grunting)

Big Macintosh: "Express coming through!"

Shining Armor: "Aren't you even gonna say 'thank you'?

Why is Big Mac so ungrateful? He doesn't even say 'thank you' when I give him a push. He only says how old and unreliable I am."

Spike: "Maybe it's time we taught that big horse a lesson."

Narrator: "That night, in the library, Spike and the other animals were teasing Big Mac about what had happened."

Spike: "And, the only reason he stopped was because he saw some red pants."

Filthy Rich, Pipsqueak, Rarity and Cranky Doodle Donkey: (Laugh)

Shining Armor: "Big Macintosh claims to be fast and reliable, but he still needed my help to get over the hill."

Big Macintosh: "I didn't really need your help, Shining Armor. You just happened to be there. That's all. I'm very reliable and exceedingly fast."

Spike: "Is that so? I'd like to see you go faster than me."

Filthy Rich, Pipsqueak, Rarity and Cranky Doodle Donkey: (Gasp)

Big Macintosh: (Laughs) "Go faster than you? Don't be silly, Spike. That's too easy."

Spike: "Very well. You just try and follow me tomorrow morning."

Big Macintosh: "No problem at all. I'll even give you a 10 minute head start."

Narrator: "The other animals thought Spike was being very silly if you thought he could go faster than Big Mac.

The next morning, Spike met Big Mac at the town hall as agreed."

Spike: "Ready, Big Mac?"

Big Macintosh: "You'd better get going, Spike. I did promise you a 10 minute head start, remember?"

Spike: (Laughs) "I remember."

Apple Bloom: "I do hope you know what you're doing, Spike."

Sweetie Belle: "We don't want to look silly."

Spike: "Don't worry. Everything is under control." (Laugh)

Narrator: "Spike was out ahead on the main path, but he knew Big Mac was going to catch up soon."

Sweetie Belle: "Spike, I can see Big Mac behind us. He's going to pass us."

Spike: "We'll see about that."

(Spike changes paths)

Big Mac: "Pull onto the other path, Spike. Express coming through!"

Spike: "Oh no! That's not what we agreed, Big Mac. You said you'd follow me across the town."

Big Macintosh: "Follow you? But, but... Oh! Can't you go any faster?"

Narrator: "Spike could go faster, but he didn't.

And when they got to Big Macintosh's Hill, Spike started to go even slower."

Big Macintosh: "Speed up, Spike! Speed up! I don't want to get stuck again."

Narrator: "But Spike didn't speed up. He went slower, and slower until..."

Big Macintosh: "No! I'm stuck again!"

Spike: (Laughs) "It looks like I'm going faster than you after all." (Chuckles)

Big Macintosh: "Ohhh!"

Shining Armor: "Hello, Big Mac. Have you given up following Spike already?"

Big Macintosh: "Spike tricked me, Shining Armor. He went too slow."

Shining Armor: "Oh dear. But I must say, you don't seem very reliable always getting stuck on your own hill."

Big Macintosh: "Wait! Shining Armor! You need to give me a push."

Shining Armor: "Oh! But I thought you didn't need any help from me. After all, I'm so old and unreliable."

Big Macintosh: "But I do need your help. I promise not to call you old or unreliable anymore. Please!"

Shining Armor: "Okay, Big Mac. I think you've learned your lesson now.

And what do you say?"

Big Macintosh: "Oh, the indignity."

Shining Armor: "Sorry?"

Big Macintosh: "I mean thank you. Thank you, Shining Armor!"

Shining Armor: "You're welcome, Big Mac. Anytime."

Animal Roll Call
They're two, they're four, they're six, they're eight,

Arranging changelings and carrying freight.

Red and white and brown and purple,

They're the Really Useful crew.

All with different roles to play

'round the Library or far away,

Down the hills and round the bends,

Spike and his friends.

Spike, he's the cheeky one,

Cranky is vain but lots of fun.

Pipsqueak delivers the mail on time,

Big Macintosh thunders down the path.

Rarity really knows her stuff,

Filthy Rich pulls and heaves and hauls.

Shining Armor wants to help and share,

Braeburn, well, let's say, he's yellow.

They're two, they're four, they're six, they're eight,

Arranging changelings and carrying freight.

Red and white and brown and purple,

They're the Really Useful crew.

All with different roles to play

'round the Library or far away,

Down the hills and round the bends,

Spike and his friends.