Thomas/Whip-Smart (by Liz Phair)

Cast

 * Emily as Liz Phair

Lyrics
Emily: I'm gonna tell my son to grow up pretty as the grass is green and Whip-smart as the English Channel's wide. And I'm gonna tell my son to keep his money in his mattress And his watch on any hand between his thighs.

And I'm gonna lock my son up in a tower 'til I write my whole life story On the back of his big brown eyes. When they do the double dutch, that's them dancing. [x4]

And I'm gonna tell my son to join a circus so that death is cheap and Games are just another way of life. And I'm gonna tell my son to be a prophet of mistakes because for Every truth, there are half a million lies.

And I'm gonna lock my son up in a tower 'Til he learns to let his hair down far enough to climb outside. When they do the double dutch, that's them dancing. [x4]