Animals vs. Creatures

Animals vs. Creatures is a My Little Pony/Thomas parody of the Thomas and Friends US video, Steamies vs. Diesels. It features four eighth season episodes of Spike the Dragon and Friends and two songs.

Cast

 * Spike as Thomas
 * Shining Armor as Edward
 * Filthy Rich as Henry
 * Big Macintosh as Gordon
 * Cranky Doodle Donkey as James
 * Pipsqueak as Percy
 * Braeburn as Toby
 * Rarity as Emily
 * Discord as Diesel
 * Twilight Sparkle as Mavis
 * Diamond Tiara as Arry (I know, Diamond Tiara is female)
 * Silver Spoon as Bert (I know, Silver Spoon is female)
 * Cheese Sandwich as Salty
 * Angel as Bertie
 * Hoity Toity as Sir Topham Hatt
 * Gummy as Trevor (does not speak)
 * Apple Bloom as Annie (cameo)
 * Sweetie Belle as Clarabel (cameo)
 * Gustave Le Grand as Cranky (cameo)
 * Cherry Jubiliee as The Refreshment Lady (cameo)
 * Burnt Oak as Cyril the Fogman (cameo)
 * Everyone else as Themselves

Episodes

 * 1) Spike To The Rescue
 * 2) Filthy Rich and the Wishing Tree
 * 3) Squeak, Rattle and Roll
 * 4) Pipsqueak's New Whistle

Songs

 * 1) Sounds
 * 2) Animal Roll Call

Spike To The Rescue
Narrator: "It was busy, bustling day in Ponyville. All over the town, animals were happily working together.

Hoity Toity came to see Spike."

Hoity Toity: "The Quarry has an important order to fill."

Narrator: "Said Hoity Toity."

Hoity Toity: "I need an animal that is both useful and reliable."

Spike: "I won't let you down, Sir!"

Narrator: "Whistled Spike proudly."

But when Spike arrived at the quarry, he had a nasty surprise.

Discord: "Oh, it's you."

Narrator: "Oiled Discord."

Discord: "What are you doing here?"

Spike: "I'm here to help Twilight Sparkle."

Narrator: "Puffed Spike proudly."

Discord: "Dragons can't help, not like a draconequus!"

Narrator: "He sniffed."

Spike: "That's not true!

Narrator: "Said Spike crossly, and he began working at once.

But Discord was soon up to his old tricks. First, he pushed Spike under the hopper."

Spike: "Fire and scales!"

Narrator: "Spluttered Spike. Then, when Spike sighed, Discord sniffed loudly."

Discord: "What's that horrible smell?"

Narrator: "He cried."

Discord: "Oh, it's just a stinky old dragon."

Spike: "How rude!"

Narrator: "Exclaimed Spike."

Discord: "No wonder Hoity Toity is thinking of killing dragons."

Spike: "I don't believe you!"

Narrator: "Puffed Spike, but he was upset.

That night, Spike stayed at the quarry, but he couldn't sleep."

Spike: "What if Discord is right?"

Narrator: "Spike said sadly."

Spike: "What if Hoity Toity kills all of us?"

Narrator: "Spike was worried.

The next day, Cheese Sandwich arrived."

Cheese Sandwich: "Ahoy there, me hearties! Fresh Elixir from Appleloosa!"

Narrator: "After he drank the elixir, Discord started to go faster and faster."

Discord: "Ha ha!"

Narrator: "He chuckled."

Discord: "This new elixir makes my feet tingle!"

Spike: "Gems don't make my feet tingle."

Narrator: "Said Spike."

Spike: "I wish I could have fresh elixir."

Narrator: "Even Twilight was excited by the new elixir."

Twilight Sparkle: "Oh, my!"

Narrator: "She said.

Spike was feeling left out.

Soon, Discord was showing off."

Discord: "I'm the fastest creature in the world!"

Narrator: "He boasted."

Discord: "Look at me go!"

Narrator: "Suddenly, Discord coughed, then he started to splutter. Black, smelly smoke billowed from him."

Discord: "I feel sick!"

Narrator: "Wailed Discord. Twilight started billowing smoke, too."

Twilight Sparkle: "So do I!"

Narrator: "She groaned. The quarry manager was upset."

Quarry Manager: "It's the new elixir!"

Narrator: "He cried."

Quarry Manager: "Water must have leaked into the tanks!"

Narrator: "Soon, all the other ponies got sick. Diamond Tiara, Silver Spoon, and even Cheese Sandwich had ground to a halt.

So Hoity Toity called the quarry manager, and the quarry manager came to see Spike."

Quarry Manager: "You are to collect fresh elixir from Sugar Cube Corner."

Spike: "Right away, Sir!"

Narrator: "Whistled Spike, and he ran out of the quarry as fast as he could. At last, he arrived at Sugar Cube Corner."

Spike: "Give me all the fresh elixir you've got!"

Narrator: "Spike cried."

Spike: "This is an emergency!"

Workmen: "We'll soon have you loaded."

Narrator: "Said the Workmen.

Spike was soon given jars filled with elixirs. The jars were very heavy. Spike pushed with all his might. His legs creaked and his feet squeaked, but he kept on going.

Spike trundled all over Ponyville with fresh elixir for everyone.

For Cheese Sandwich...

For Diamond Tiara, and for Silver Spoon.

Spike was feeling very tired, but he still had one more delivery to make.

At the quarry, all work had stopped. Discord was as green as a leaf. Twilight Sparkle was feeling very glum.

Then, they heard a wonderful noise. It was Spike! He walked into the quarry with one final puff."

Spike: "I made it!"

Narrator: "He cried.

Twilight and Discord had all the bad elixir drained out of their systems, and all the good, clean elixir poured in."

Discord: "Marvelous!"

Narrator: "Sighed Discord."

Twilight Sparkle: "Thank you, Spike!"

Narrator: "Purred Twilight.

Soon, the quarry was clattering with the sound of work.

And finally, the important job was done.

Hoity Toity arrived with Pipsqueak."

Hoity Toity: "Well done, Spike!"

Narrator: "Boomed Hoity Toity."

Hoity Toity: "You have saved the day! You are a really useful dragon, and a credit to Ponyville!"

Spike: "Thank you, Sir!"

Narrator: "Said Spike proudly.

And even Discord had to admit that Spike is a very special animal...

...even if he is a dragon."

Filthy Rich and the Wishing Tree
Narrator: "It was summertime in Ponyville.

Big Macintosh pulled the express buffaloes. It was very busy, but Big Mac loved the hustle and bustle.

Filthy Rich hauled wagons in the forest. He loved the peace and quiet. But he didn't see many people. Sometimes working in the forest can be very lonely.

Later, Filthy Rich pulled into the town hall. He was delighted to see all his passengers. But Big Mac was not delighted to see Filthy Rich."

Big Macintosh: "Keep your smelly freight away from my passengers!"

Narrator: "Grumbled Big Mac."

Filthy Rich: "But it's only logs."

Narrator: "Chuffed Filthy Rich."

Big Macintosh: "Passengers and freight do not mix!"

Narrator: "Huffed Big Mac, and he walked away. Filthy Rich watched the express leave the building."

Filthy Rich: "I'd like to pull passengers."

Narrator: "Sighed Filthy Rich."

Filthy Rich: "Just for a change."

Narrator: "Filthy Rich stopped at the water fountain on the edge of the forest. Children were standing by one of the trees."

Filthy Rich: "What are those children doing?"

Narrator: "Filthy Rich asked Spike."

Spike: "That's the old Everfree Wishing Tree."

Narrator: "Said Spike."

Spike: "They must be making a wish."

Filthy Rich: "A wishing tree?"

Narrator: "Gasped Filthy Rich."

Filthy Rich: "How wonderful! Do you think it could make my wish come true?"

Narrator: "Asked Filthy Rich."

Spike: "It might."

Narrator: "Said Spike, and he puffed away. Filthy Rich rolled up to the wishing tree. He took a deep breath, and made a wish as hard as he could."

Filthy Rich: "I wish... I wish I could pull the express instead of Big Mac."

Narrator: "He said.

That evening, Hoity Toity came to see Filthy Rich."

Hoity Toity: "Tomorrow, you will pull the express."

Narrator: "He said."

Filthy Rich: "Thank you, sir!"

Narrator: "Said Filthy Rich happily. His wish had come true.

The next morning, Filthy Rich chuffed cheerfully into the town hall. When his passengers were on board, Filthy Rich whistled, and pulled out of the building. But Filthy Rich puffed to quickly."

Filthy Rich's Driver: "Go gently!"

Narrator: "Called his driver."

Filthy Rich's Driver: "You can bump freight, but you can't bump passengers."

Filthy Rich: "Sorry!"

Narrator: "Puffed Filthy Rich.

Filthy Rich puffed proudly through the countryside."

Filthy Rich: "Pulling passengers is a grand job!"

Narrator: "He said.

Big Macintosh was in the hospital. His back was being bandaged. But Big Mac felt lonely. He was missing his passengers.

The passengers were missing Big Macintosh too. They were having the bounciest, bumpiest ride they had ever had.

When Filthy Rich got back to the library, Hoity Toity was waiting for him."

Hoity Toity: "They have been complaints."

Narrator: "He said sternly."

Hoity Toity: "Passengers are not like logs. You must be gentle."

Filthy Rich: "Yes, sir."

Narrator: "Said Filthy Rich sadly. Being gentle was very difficult. Then Filthy Rich saw Big Mac. He was looking miserable."

Filthy Rich: "My wish has made Big Mac go to the hospital!"

Narrator: "Gasped Filthy Rich. This made Filthy Rich feel very bad.

The next day, Filthy Rich had to collect the dining trailer. He tried his best to be gentle. But he shunted the dining trailer so hard, everything flew into the air. They were more complaints than ever. Filthy Rich didn't want to pull passengers anymore. He wanted to wish everything back to normal.

But when he arrived at the forest, Filthy Rich couldn't remember which tree was the wishing tree."

Filthy Rich: "Oh, no!"

Narrator: "Cried Filthy Rich."

Filthy Rich: "Which one could it be?"

Narrator: "Filthy Rich didn't know. So he decided to wish on all the trees."

Filthy Rich: "I wish I could pull freight again."

Narrator: "He puffed. Then he moved to the next tree, and he wished again."

Filthy Rich: "I wish I could pull freight again."

Narrator: "Hoity Toity arrived with Spike."

Hoity Toity: "What are you doing, Filthy Rich?"

Narrator: "Asked Hoity Toity."

Hoity Toity: "You are causing confusion and delay!"

Narrator: "Filthy Rich told him all about the wishing tree."

Hoity Toity: "Wishing trees don't run towns!"

Narrator: "Said Hoity Toity."

Hoity Toity: "That's my job! Big Mac just needed some healing, he'll be back tomorrow."

Narrator: "Filthy Rich was delighted.

The next day, Big Macintosh came back to work. He looked as good as new. The passengers were so pleased to see him. They cheered, and cheered, and cheered. Big Mac beamed happily for the rest of the day.

Filthy Rich was happy to be back in the peace and quiet of the forest. At the end of the day, he stopped near the wishing tree. And even Hoity Toity had told him trees don't run towns, Filthy Rich wished he would never have to pull passengers ever, ever again, just in case."

Sounds
"All Aboard!" and "Close the doors!"

Whistle blows and the engine roars

Spinning wheels beginning to grip

These are the sounds as we start our trip

Rattling rails and cheerful chuffs

Clattering carriages huffs and puffs

With a "Whiss" on the whistle

And a "Wheesh" on the brakes

These are the sounds that the Friendship Express makes

Chugga-chugga (Wheesh)

Chugga-chugga (Wheesh)

Chugga-chugga (Wheesh)

These are the sounds that the Friendship Express makes

Happy hoots as the fields rush by

Shovelling coal how the time does fly

Proudly race full steam ahead

Screeching brakes when the lights go red

A wheesh of steam and clanking joints

Shuddering doors and clattering points

With a 'Whiss' on the whistle

And a 'Wheesh' on the brakes

These are the sounds that the Friendship Express makes

Chugga-chugga (Wheesh)

Chugga-chugga (Wheesh)

Chugga-chugga (Wheesh)

These are the sounds that the Friendship Express makes

Chugga-chugga (Wheesh)

Chugga-chugga (Wheesh)

Chugga-chugga (Wheesh)

These are the sounds that the Friendship Express makes

Squeak, Rattle and Roll
Narrator: "Big Macintosh is big and red, and the fastest horse in all of Ponyville. He loves pulling the express buffaloes. Big Mac thinks it makes him the most important animal in the town.

One day, Big Mac was pulling the express out of Ponyville Docks, but Discord was on the same path."

Big Macintosh: "Out of my way!"

Narrator: "Sniffed Big Mac."

Big Macintosh: "Express buffaloes coming through!"

Narrator: "Discord had to back off. This made him cross."

Discord: "You animals are old and clapped out!"

Narrator: "He sneered."

Discord: "When Hoity Toity realizes this, you'll all be scrapped."

Big Macintosh: "Scrapped?!"

Narrator: "Scoffed Big Mac."

Big Macintosh: "Pah! I'm as fast as I ever was."

Narrator: "And he chuffed proudly out of the docks.

Big Macintosh was speeding through the beautiful countryside. He was having a wonderful day. But then he heard a horrible squeaking noise. Big Mac was upset. Squeaking could only mean one thing; something was wrong."

Big Macintosh: "What if Discord's right?"

Narrator: "He thought."

Big Macintosh: "What if Hoity Toity scraps me?"

Narrator: "Big Mac squeaked sadly up the hill. The hill was steep, and Big Mac had to slow down. The slower he went, the quieter the squeak became. Big Mac was delighted."

Big Macintosh: "Aha!"

Narrator: "He said."

Big Macintosh: "If I go slowly, no one will hear me squeak."

Narrator: "And he chuffed slowly back to Golden Oak Library.

That evening, Hoity Toity came to see Big Mac."

Hoity Toity: "Tomorrow is a very special day."

Narrator: "He said."

Hoity Toity: "I am taking some village children on a boat trip. You, Big Mac, are to take us to Ponyville Docks. The boat leaves at 9:00, so you must not be late."

Narrator: "The next morning, Big Mac waited for everyone to go. Then he puffed slowly away, so no one would hear his squeak.

Once out of the library, he started to pick up speed. His legs pumped, and his tail swung, and he began to squeak again."

Big Macintosh: "Oh, my!"

Narrator: "Said Big Mac. Then he heard something even worse. It was a rattle."

Big Macintosh: "Oh, dear! Oh, dear!"

Narrator: "He cried."

Big Macintosh: "Discord was right! I'm falling apart! What will Hoity Toity say?"

Narrator: "So Big Mac slowed down.

Big Macintosh crawled slowly into the station to collect the children. Big Mac's heart sank. If he went slowly, the children would miss their boat trip. But if he went quickly, Hoity Toity would hear his squeak and his rattle. He'd know Big Mac was wearing out and send him to the scrapyard. With the children safely on board, Big Mac pulled slowly out of the station.

Big Mac chuffed slowly through the countryside. He thought things were going well. But Hoity Toity was very cross. He spoke sternly to Big Mac."

Hoity Toity: "Why are you fooling around, Big Mac?"

Narrator: "He boomed."

Hoity Toity: "You must go quickly, or the children will miss the boat. And that will never do!"

Big Macintosh: "Yes, sir."

Narrator: "Said Big Mac sadly."

Hoity Toity: "Remember,"

Narrator: "Added Hoity Toity."

Hoity Toity: "You are the fastest horse in the town!"

Narrator: "This made Big Mac feel proud."

Big Macintosh: "This might be my last trip."

Narrator: "He said."

Big Macintosh: "But I'll get the children to their boat on time."

Narrator: "His hooves ran faster. His body pumped harder."

Big Macintosh: "Must be on time, must be on time."

Narrator: "He puffed. Soon he began to squeak, and rattle too. And then he heard another noise; a knocking noise. But Big Mac didn't care. If this was his last trip, he was going to go as fast as he possibly could.

Big Mac squeaked and rattled and knocked all the way to Ponyville Docks. Cheese Sandwich and Filthy Rich were surprised. They had never heard a horse make such awful noises."

Discord: "Sounds like another animal ready for the scrapyard!"

Narrator: "Sneered Discord. But Big Mac didn't care about Discord. He had made good time, and the children would catch their boat."

Big Macintosh: "I made it!"

Narrator: "He cried proudly."

Children: "Thank you, Big Mac!"

Narrator: "Shouted the children happily."

Hoity Toity: "I knew you could do it!"

Narrator: "Said Hoity Toity."

Hoity Toity: "But why haven't you been to the hospital?"

Big Macintosh: "The hospital?"

Narrator: "Gasped Big Mac."

Hoity Toity: "You have been making lots of noises."

Narrator: "Said Hoity Toity."

Hoity Toity: "You need to have your body looked at."

Big Macintosh: "So you're not going to scrap me?"

Hoity Toity: "Scrap Big Mac?"

Narrator: "Boomed Hoity Toity."

Hoity Toity: "The fastest horse in Ponyville? Who would pull the express buffaloes?"

Narrator: "Big Mac beamed with pride.

Big Mac spent the next day having his hooves polished and his legs well cleaned. At last, he didn't make any more funny noises.

Big Macintosh was as good as new, and he felt even better."

Pipsqueak's New Whistle
Narrator: "It was winter. A thick blanket of snow lay over Ponyville. All the animals were busy carrying passengers and goods from station to station.

Sometimes they need to warn people they are coming.

So animals blow their whistles. And creatures blow their air horns.

One day, Pipsqueak took some changelings to the smelters' yard. He whistled hello to Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon. But Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon laughed."

Silver Spoon: "Call that a whistle?"

Narrator: "Mocked Silver Spoon."

Silver Spoon: "Just listen to this." (Blows air horn)

Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon: "Creatures can do everything better than animals."

Narrator: "They sneered."

Pipsqueak: "My whistle's as good as your horns."

Narrator: "Puffed Pipsqueak crossly."

Pipsqueak: "Just you wait and see."

Narrator: "Pipsqueak practiced loud whistling. He blew louder, and louder, and louder. At last, he was ready to surprise Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon.

Later, Pipsqueak went back to the quarry. He rolled up behind Diamond Tiara and Silver, took an extra big breath and blew as loudly as he could."

Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon were surprised."

Pipsqueak: "I told you my whistle is as good as your silly old horns!"

Narrator: "Laughed Pipsqueak.

Now that he had a super loud whistle, Pipsqueak couldn't wait to use it again.

When he saw Spike in the sidings, he took a big breath, and blew as loud as he could. Spike was cross."

Spike: "That wasn't funny!"

Narrator: "He sniffed. Pipsqueak didn't notice. He was too busy having fun.

Pipsqueak saw Angel the Rabbit. He took another big breath and blew. Angel skidded all over the road."

Angel: "Pipsqueak!"

Narrator: "He cried crossly."

Angel: "You nearly caused an accident!"

Narrator: "But Pipsqueak had already chuffed away.

That evening, Spike told Pipsqueak to stop surprising his friends."

Spike: "You made Angel skid across the road and my wagons got damaged."

Narrator: "Said Spike. Pipsqueak was sorry."

Pipsqueak: "I won't do it again."

Narrator: "He wailed."

Pipsqueak: "I promise."

Narrator: "But the next day, Pipsqueak was bringing the milk from the dairy."

Pipsqueak: "I wish I could have one more loud whistle."

Narrator: "He said to himself. He couldn't see any people or animals. But there was something else Pipsqueak couldn't see.

Gummy was taking food to the farm animals. With snow on the ground, they couldn't find any grass to eat. Pipsqueak took the biggest breath of all and blew.

Gummy was so surprised, his tail hit a pile of logs. A log fell and rolled down the hill. Snow stuck to the log. It turned into a snowball. The snowball got bigger and bigger.

Pipsqueak was enjoying himself until he saw the snowball."

Pipsqueak: "Oh, no!"

Narrator: "Cried Pipsqueak."

Pipsqueak: "Oh, no!"

(Snowball hits Pipsqueak)

Narrator: "Luckily, no one was hurt. But his driver was cross."

Pipsqueak's Driver: "Now I will have to go for help."

Narrator: "He said. Pipsqueak waited in the cold. His head was freezing and his hooves were shivering.

At last Spike arrived with Hoity Toity. He was very cross indeed."

Hoity Toity: "Whistles are for safety."

Narrator: "He told Pipsqueak."

Hoity Toity: "Not for playing games! You must only use your whistle when the time is right."

Pipsqueak: "Yes, sir."

Narrator: "Shivered Pipsqueak, and he promised to use his whistle properly from now on.

The next day, Pipsqueak was a very quiet filly indeed. He didn't use his whistle once.

But as Pipsqueak came out of the tunnel, he gasped. A big snowdrift had slipped onto the path. Pipsqueak heard Spike. He was heading straight for the snowdrift!"

Pipsqueak: "If he did not stop in time, he would have an accident! I must warn him!"

Narrator: "Cried Pipsqueak.

Pipsqueak took the biggest breath he had ever taken, and he blew the loudest whistle he had ever blown."

Spike: "Something must be wrong!"

Narrator: "Cried Spike, and he stopped just in time."

Spike: "Fire and scales!"

Narrator: "He gasped."

Spike: "Thank you, Pipsqueak!"

Narrator: "That evening, Hoity Toity came to the library."

Hoity Toity: "Well done, Pipsqueak!"

Narrator: "He boomed."

Hoity Toity: "You blew your whistle at the right time and saved Spike from an accident. You are a really useful filly, and a safe one."

Narrator: "Pipsqueak was so proud, his tail tingled.

Pipsqueak uses his whistle safely now, and all his friends are glad to see him."

Animal Roll Call
They're two, they're four, they're six, they're eight,

Arranging changelings and carrying freight.

Red and white and brown and purple,

They're the Really Useful crew.

All with different roles to play

'round the Library or far away,

Down the hills and round the bends,

Spike and his friends.

Spike, he's the cheeky one,

Cranky is vain but lots of fun.

Pipsqueak delivers the mail on time,

Big Macintosh thunders down the path.

Rarity really knows her stuff,

Filthy Rich pulls and heaves and hauls.

Shining Armor wants to help and share,

Braeburn, well, let's say, he's yellow.

They're two, they're four, they're six, they're eight,

Arranging changelings and carrying freight.

Red and white and brown and purple,

They're the Really Useful crew.

All with different roles to play

'round the Library or far away,

Down the hills and round the bends,

Spike and his friends.

They're two, they're four, they're six, they're eight,

Arranging changelings and carrying freight.

Red and white and brown and purple,

They're the Really Useful crew.

All with different roles to play

'round the Library or far away,

Down the hills and round the bends,

Spike and his friends.