Star vs. the Forces of Evil/Mulan 2/Transcript

[Chinese music plays]

Mr. Haggins: Oh, savior of China... You have Ennobled the house of Butterfly. In gratitude, we honor you. All veneration to you, mighty...

Rusty: Say it. Say my name.

Mr. Higgins: Rusty.

Rusty: Now, that's what I'm talkin' 'bout. Hey, how you doin' up there, man? Thanks for the intro.

[Mr. Higgins Growls]

Rusty: [Bell ringing] And now I think I'd like to visit my beloved Peadestal.

[Up-tempo music plays]

Ancestors: [Sigh] Let's get it over with. [All groaning, grumbling]

Rusty: Ceremonial robe of honor.

Rusty: Ooh, if Star could see me now. [Laugh]

Gwen: [Sigh] Star saves China one time, and now he thinks he's the emperor.

Rusty: I'm climbing a stairway to heaven.

Rusty: Whoo! top floor!

Rusty: Pedestal, perks, and props!

Rusty: Ceremonial bath of honor.

Mr Higgins: Ugh!

Ancestors :Ohh!

Rusty: Ooh, yeah! Y'all better take a deep breath, now, 'cause I ain't leaving my Pedestal for the next thousand years.

Ancestors: [All groaning]

Rusty: Let the whirpool begin.

Rusty: Oh, yeah.

[Gong Crashes and chinese music plays and the words Walt Disney Pictures present and then Star vs. the Forces of Evil/Mulan 2 and the dragon symbol appear.]

Carl Fredricksen: [Humming] According to this chart, I put the coins here.

Carl Fredricksen: Relax, child. The spirit tell me Claire will arrive and propose to Owen before the sun sets. There's still time to get in on the pool.

[Harper gulps loudly]

Ivor: Father...

Harper: Gambling in like playing mah-jongg with blank tiles. No one really wins.

Carl Fredricksen: I'm enriched by your presence, my daughter.

Harper: Hmm? I...Think I'll go pray.

[Knock on door]

Ivor: Hello, Kevin.

Kevin McCallister: Is Owen Grady here?

Ivor: Why, he's out in the field.

Carl Fredricksen: [Laughing] Yeah, doing his chores.

Kevin McCallister: Oh... I'll go help him! Uh, thank you.

Ivor: [Sigh] The children all love Owen.

Carl Fredricksen: And why not? He's strong, He's brave, He's handsome. [Laughs] He'a a chip off the old block.

Owen Grady: [Grunting] Hyah!

Angie: Hyah!

Boys: Hyah! W-Whoa! Hiya.

[Jenna Barking]

Owen Grady: It's okay, Jenna.

Owen Grady: What's going on here?

Kevin McCallister: We want to be like you, Owen Grady. Hyah! Hyah! Hyah! Unh! [Other boys laughing]

Owen Grady: But I'm still learning myself.

Boys: Please? [All talking at onec]

Owen Grady: Okay, I guess I can show you a few moves.

Kevin McCallister: Owen's gonna teach us how to kick butt.

[The other boys are cheering and laughing]

Owen Grady: Hold it. Calm down. That's lesson number tow. The first and most important lesson is to be gentle at the same teme we're being tough.

Kevin McCallister: How can you be tough and gentle?

A little boy: Yeah! I want to be tough!

Boys: Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

Owen Grady: I know it does sound a little funny, huh? but the world is full of opposites, and so are you. To be a good warrior, you must bring it all into balance.

Owen Grady: Hmm, let's see if this helps. Earth, sky, day, night. Sound and silence, dark and light.

[A little boy gigles]

Owen Grady: ♪ One alone is not enoug ♪ ♪ You need both together ♪ ♪ Winter, summer, moon, and sun ♪ ♪ Lesson number one ♪

Boys: Wow!

Owen Grady: ♪ Like a rock, huh, huh ♪ ♪ You must be hard, huh, huh ♪ ♪ Like an oak, mmh ♪ ♪ You must stand firm, huh, huh ♪ ♪ Cut quick ♪ ♪ Like my blade ♪ ♪ Think fast, huh, huh ♪ ♪ Unafraid ♪

Angie: Yeah.

Boys: ♪ Like a rock, huh, huh ♪ ♪ You must be hard, huh, huh ♪ ♪ Like an oak, mmh ♪ ♪ You must stand firm, huh, huh ♪ ♪ Cut quick ♪ ♪ Like my blade ♪ ♪ Think fast, huh, huh ♪ ♪ Unafraid ♪

Kevin McCallister: Okay, Owen, I'm ready.

Owen Grady: Uh-huh. But you're still out of balance. You're only halfway there.

Owen Grady: ♪ Like a cloud ♪ ♪ You are soft ♪ ♪ Like bamboo ♪ ♪ You bend in the wind ♪ ♪ Creeping slow, you're at peace ♪ ♪ Because you know ♪ ♪ It's okay to be afraid ♪

Boys: Like a cloud ♪ ♪ You are soft ♪ ♪ Like bamboo ♪ ♪ You bend in the wind ♪ ♪ Creeping slow, you're at peace ♪ ♪ Because you know ♪ ♪ It's okay to be afraid ♪

[Jenna is barking]

Chorus:♪ One alone is not enoug ♪ ♪ One alone is not enoug ♪ ♪ You need both together ♪ ♪ You need both together ♪ ♪ Winter, summer, moon, and sun ♪ ♪ Winter, summer, moon, and sun ♪ ♪ Lesson number one ♪ ♪ Like a rock ♪ ♪ Like ♪ You must be hard ♪ ♪ Like an oak ♪ ♪ Like an oak ♪ ♪ I must stand firm ♪ ♪ You can fly ♪ ♪ ♪ It's okay to be afraid ♪ ♪ ♪ I'm not afraid ♪ ♪ You have begun ♪ ♪ ♪ Lesson number one, Lesson number one ♪ ♪ Lesson number one ♪ [Neigh] [Gasps]

Kevin McCallister: It's General Claire!

Boys: General Claire! General Claire! General Claire! [Boys laughing] [Owen shouting happily] [Claire chuckling]

Claire Dearing: Hello, little warriors.

Owen Grady: The new uniform suits you, General.

Claire Dearing: Oh, the uniform -- yes. [Clears throat] now I just have to live up to it.

Owen Grady: Of course you will. You're very brave.

Claire Dearing: Oh, right. brave. Yes, well... [Clears throat] Owen, I haven't known you for very long, but I feel that doesn't matter so much when a woman is in...

Kevin McCallister: [Ding! Ding, Ding, Ding,!]

Claire Dearing: When a woman is in...

[Boys are giggling]

Claire Dearing: Is there someplace private we can talk?

Kevin McCallister: We can go to my house.

[Boys are gigglig continues]

Owen Grady: Okay, everybody, time to be like the river and flow home.

Boys: Oh, No! Oh, No! Oh, No! Oh, No! Bye, Claire. Bye, Claire. Bye, Owen.

Claire Dearing: Could you take care of this for me?

[Kevinr gasps and squeals, lauging]

Owen Grady: You know, you're never gonna get that back.

[Claire chuckles]

[Owen screams]

[Both laughing]

Carl Fredricksen: [Laughs] Oh, He said yes!

[Ivor sighs]

Harper: When one's heart is overfilled with joy, some may spill from the eyes.

Carl Fredricksen: You can say that again! I win the pot! [Laughs]

Harper: Actually, you bet she would propose before sundown. I bet she would propose before noon.

Ivor: But you don't gamble.

Harper: Betting against my father is not a gamble. It's an investmen.

Carl Fredricksen: Oh...

Sandy Cheeks: [Sobbing] Ooh, what a happy, happy day! My little baby's getting married.

Owen Grady: Shh, Sandy, someone will hear you.

Sandy Cheeks: I can't help it. You know squirrels are very emotional. Oh, It seems like just last month you and I were saving china.

Owen Grady: It was last month.

Sandy Cheeks: How time flies... You know, baby, this must be a magical moment for you.

Owen Grady: It's not every day I get engaged.

Sandy Cheeks: No, I meant telling me you're engaged.

Angie: Oh...

Sandy Cheeks: Oh! After all, you know, I'm the gal that gave you and pretty girl the hookup. Am I a guardian, or Am I a guardian?

Owen Grady: Oh, you're more than that, Sandy. You're my most trusted friend.

Sandy Cheeks: [Voice breaking] Oh, that did it! [Sniffles]

Owen Grady: Are you crying again?

Sandy Cheeks: No, I just got some exfoliating cream in my eye. Of course I'm crying, boy! What you think?! Oh, Owen, I'm just so happy for me.

Owen Grady: You? uh...

Sandy Cheeks: Hmm? This wedding business is a big status boost for me. When those ancestors look up the career ladder, all they're gonna see is my behind.

Owen Grady: So glad my getting married is helping you out, Sandy.

Sandy Cheeks: All right, I Get you, Mr. Misty. But you know I'm thinking about you, too. In fact, I'm gonna plan your wedding. First I gotta work me up a theme. You know, theme is everything. How about "rainbow of memories"? Huh? no, That's too "junior prom." I've got it! the theme is "think pink." You know, blue is the new blue, guy. It's simple. it says it. Now watch my smoke.

[Owen laughs]

Sandy Cheeks: Angie, to the fabric store!

[Owen laughs]

Claire Dearing: Owen? Seems your grandpa invited someone to help us celebrate the engamement.

Owen Grady: Really? Who?

Claire Dearing: China.

Crowd: Congratulations! [Cheers and applausee]

Carl Fredricksen: Isn't it wonderful? sorry it's sort of slapdash. It took us by surprise, You know.

[Owen and Claire chuckle]

Carl Fredricksen: Make way for the happy couple.

[Gong crashes]

Claire Dearing: Now, this is a battlefield.

Owen Grady: What's our strategy, General?

Claire Dearing: Divide and conquer.

[Both laugh]

Sandy Cheeks: All right, all right, all right, wikiwiki, dead people. We've got work to do, so let's move with purpose.

[Ancestors groaning]

Sandy Cheeks: I've got an important announcement to make. Hold on to you ectoplasm, now. Owen's getting married!

[Ancestors cheering]

Sandy Cheeks: All right, all right, all right, simmer down. I know just how you feel. But time is a-wasting, people, so let's move, move, move! The theme is blue. I want to see blue flowers, blue bibbons, blue bows. I'm not talking about dolphin. don't show me no grey-blue. I mean blue as water.

An Ancestor: How about a blue slip?

Sandy Cheeks: Excuse me? Don't nobody want to see your drawers, Prunehilda.

Gwen: Actually, he meant this.

Sandy Cheeks: Hey, this look like a for-real blue slip. You know, like a "you're fired" blue slip.

An Ancestor: Oh, it is.

Sandy Cheeks: Say What? Oh!

An Ancestor: The blue slip is for you.

Gwen: It is written, once a man marries, His wife's ancestors take over the duty of guardianship. [Laughing]

Sandy Cheeks: No, no, no, y-your scroll must have a-a typo. That -- That can't be.

An Ancestor: Oh, but it is. You're out of a job...

An Ancestor: Out of a pedestal...

An Ancestor: And Out of our hair... Fool!

Sandy Cheeks: Aah! Oh, no, no, no, no, no, I ain't going out like this. It took me 500 years to get this pedestal back, and I ain't about to give it up.

Gwen: Hear me, you lazy lounge mouse. The moment Owen Grady is married, you've got your old job back. [Gulps] Remember gong duty? Perhaps this will ring a bell.

[Air whistles, crash and laugher]

Ancestors: Sandy's on her way out! Sandy's on her way out! Sandy's on her way out! Sandy's on her way out! Sandy's on her way out!

[Sandy sighs]

Ancestors: Sandy's on her way out!

Sandy Cheeks: What am I gonna do?

Ancestors: Sandy's on her way out! Sandy's on her way out! [Fading] Sandy's on her way out!

[Owen laughs]

A Man: So, tell me, will it be a big wedding?

Owen Grady: Absolutely.

Claire Dearing: Oh, no, absolutely not.

A Man: Children?

Claire Dearing: As many as possible.

Owen Grady: Oh, maybe one or two.

Claire Dearing: We'll have to think about it.

Owen Grady: Right away.

Claire Dearing: Pink.

Owen Grady: Blue.

Claire Dearing: Mild.

Owen Grady: Spicy.

Claire Dearing: Yes.

Owen Grady: No!

Ivor: Oh, dear, did you hear that?

Harper: Not exactly a harmonious comuple, are they?

Ivor: What should we do?

Harper: Perhaps we should give our gift to the children now.

[Crash, horse neigh and crowd shouting]

Kevin McCallister: MAMA!

Soldier: General Claire, Owen Grady, orders from her majesty, the Queen.

Claire Dearing: Is there trouble?

Soldier: Yes, lady. Report to the imperial palace.

Claire Dearing: We'll leave at once.

Claire Dearing: This must be pretty important for the Queen to want both of us.

Owen Grady: She knows a winning team when she sees one.

Sandy Cheeks: [Scoff] Since when are they the winning team? The ink ain't even dry on my blue slip, and I'm being replaced.

Angie: Because you are selfish, Sandy.

Sandy Cheeks: Yeah, I now. You're right. How could I have been so selfish? Look at them. Those two clearly got it going on. Angie, I've made a decision. I gotta kiss my pedestal goodby, 'cause my boy's happiness comes first.

Angie: Good, Sandy.

[Blue roars]

Owen Grady: Mum, Dad.

Harper: We were just admiring the mudan tree.

Owen Grady: It's so lovely this year.

Harper: The blossoms reach for the sunlight above, yet, unseen, the roots reach for the rainwater below.

Owen Grady: Sun and rain -- So different,yet only by working together do they create harmony and life.

Owen Grady: I know, Mum -- The lesson of Yin and Yang.

Harper: And to help you remember that lesson...

Owen Grady: Mother, father, our necklaces.

Ivor: Not Ours -- Our great-great-grandparents.

Harper: And now...yours.

Claire Dearing: Thank you, lady.

Owen Grady: Oh, They're so beautiful.

Harper: But you'll be surprised how heavily they can weigh. To share the burden, you must work together, like the sun and rain.

Sandy Cheeks: Wait a minute. Old woman Harper Grady got a point, now. Owen and Claire are as different as sun and rain. And when the infatutation wears off, their tree of life's gonna wind up with root rot.

Angie: But Sandy, Owen seems Happy.

Sandy Cheeks: Oh, yeah, sure, he seems happy. That's the real tragedy here! The guy don't even realize how miserable he is.

Angie: But why Sandy?

Sandy Cheeks: That's why I gotta nip this thing in the bud.

Angie: Because about your pedestal.

Sandy Cheeks: This is not about my pedestal. This is about Owen making the biggest mistake of my -- Uh, I mean, his life.

Angie: Don't do that.

Sandy Cheeks: Man, how could I have been so selfish? Owen's a boy worth fighting for. And, after all, I am the guy's guardian. Angie, I'm gonna break them ! uo

Angie: AAAARGH!

Sandy Cheeks: Ooh, so I guess that means you're on board.

Sandy Cheeks: Uh, Owen, could you smooth out the ride a little bit? Oh, I'm getting raptor-sick. [groans]

Owen Grady: Sandy, what are you doing here?

Sandy Cheeks: Hey, whither thou go, I goeth, boy. remember, teamwork isn't Tabout ego. it's about "we go."

Angie: Hello Owen.

Sandy Cheeks: Angie! What are you doing here?

[Owen laughs]

Angie: I protect Owen from you.

Sandy Cheeks: Protect Owen from me? I'm his guardian! Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're his lucky fish. You're lucky I don't cook you on spit.

Queen Elizabeth: As we stand here, mongol forces are moving closer to our border. The threat of attack is growing every day. As it is, our army's hopelessly outnumbered.

Claire Dearing: Your majesty, let me lead my forces in a pre-emptive strike. Each of my warriors will fight like 10 mongols.

Queen Elizabeth: No, General. I plan to defeat this enemy without the use of force. Instead, you will forge A union so strong, the mongol hordes won't dare attack. An alliance with the Kingdom of Qui Gong. We will become united through marriage. You will escort three princes to Qui Gong. There, they will marry Ruby Deagle's daughters

Owen Grady: What?

Queen Elizabeth: and seal this critical alliance.

Claire Dearing: Yes, your majesty.

Queen Elizabeth: My advisors tell me the charts are clear. If this wedding does not take place in three days, the alliance will crumble and the mongols will destroy us. Mark my words, General -- Three days.

Claire Dearing: Not a moment more, your majesty.

Queen Elizabeth: I know that face, Owen Grady. What troubles you?

Owen Grady: Your majesty, an arranged marriage?

Queen Elizabeth: Rest assured, child, my sons know exactly what they're doing.

Owen Grady: Your sons?

Queen Elizabeth: They consider it an honor to marry in the cause of peace.

Owen Grady: Your majesty, I, uh... I...

Queen Elizabeth: Apology accepted. General, how many troops do you estimate you will need to accomplish this mission?

Claire Dearing: Three.

Queen Elizabeth: Three companies.

Claire Dearing: Three women.

Queen Elizabeth: You surprise me, general. These are my children.

Claire Dearing: This mission does notcall for force, but finesse. We must become one with the countryside.

Queen Elizabeth: As queen, I trust you. As a mother, I implore you to choose your three soldiers wisely.

Claire Dearing: I know just the women. Fearless...

Owen Grady: Loyal...

Claire Dearing: And disciplined.

Owen Grady: China's most honorable and noble soldiers.

Gilbert Huph: And stay out!

[All grunting]

Gilbert Huph: I've found husbands for hundreds of women, but the Golden Dragon of Unity herself couldn't make love matches for you three! Come back when you get personalities!

Petra: Aah!

Merida: Well, that's a fine way to treat China's greatest -- Oh! [Muffled] heroes.

Petra: What's his problem? All I asked for was a boy who would worship the dirt I walk on.

Mavis: I simply asked for someone who would cook for me morning, noon, and night.

Merida: I just wanted a boy who likes to laugh... And thinks I'm a god.

Mavis: Perhaps we weren't specific enough.

Merida: Oh, forget that Napoleon complex. The only ones who can find boys worthy of us...Is us.

Petra: Yeah.

Merida: ♪ Well, I don't need him ♪ ♪ To be all smug and snooty ♪

Petra, Merida and Mavis: Pbht! Pbht! Pbht!

Petra: ♪ I got a plaque right here ♪ ♪ That says I kicked hun booty ♪

Mavis: ♪ We have everything we reamed we'd find ♪ ♪ When we came back from war ♪

Petra, Merida and Mavis: ♪ Yeah, everything but ♪ ♪ A boy worth fighting for ♪

Petra: ♪ Hey, suck in your gut ♪

Petra, Merida and Mavis: ♪ There's a boy worth fighting for ♪

Merida: ♪ And I think he wants us to come over ♪ ♪ My boy will laugh at all my jokes ♪ ♪ But tell it to me straight ♪

Petra: ♪ He'll rub my head when I get sick ♪

Mavis: ♪ And let me pick off of his plate ♪ ♪ If Merida can find a boy ♪ ♪ Who likes her chopstick nose trick ♪

Petra: ♪ Ooh, she really better just propose quick ♪

Merida: ♪ Well, I have to say based on today I'm cranky ♪

Mavis: ♪ I'll just spend my life with you two ♪

Petra: ♪ Pass the hanky ♪

Merida: ♪ And there's no one there to steal my chair ♪

Petra: ♪ And twirl around the floor ♪

Petra, Merida and Mavis: ♪ Wish I had a boy worth fighting for ♪ ♪ I would be true ♪

Merida: ♪ To a boy worth fighting ♪

Petra, Merida and Mavis: ♪ I'd make fondue ♪

Mavis: ♪ For a boy worth fighting ♪

Petra, Merida and Mavis: ♪ I'd even kiss you ♪

Petra: ♪ For a boy worth fighting ♪

All: [Gruting] [Weakly] ♪ For ♪ Owen! General Claire!

Claire Dearing: [Chuckles] If you three aren't too busy disturbing the peace, I need you to join Owen and me on a mission.

Merida: To save China?

Owen Grady: Naturally.

Petra: I'll be leaving behind a few broken hearts, but count me in!

Merida: Sing me up!

Mavis: When do we start, general?

Claire Dearing: Tonight.

[Horse neighs]

Petra: Huh? [Sighs]

Claire Dearing: We're about to depart, your highnesses. You have my word we will arrive swiftly and safely.

Radar: My brothers and I thank you, General Claire.

Claire Dearing: Permit me to introduce Owen Grady.

Jesse: It is a privilege to meet the hero of China.

Claire Dearing: I leave you in his capable hands. Stand ready!

Owen Grady: You might need these. It's a little chilly.

Radar: Thank you, Owen Grady.

Owen Grady: You're welcome, your higness. So...you're getting married.

Jesse: Oh, yes.

Owen Grady: To princesses in Qui Gong.

Radar: That's right.

Owen Grady: Well, they must be beautiful.

Jonathan: We don't know. We've never met them.

Owen Grady: Really? So you have no idea what they're like...at all?

Radar: It's all right, Owen Grady. It's our honor to serve the Queen.

Jesse: And The Middle Kingdom.

Jonathan: The whole thing is so exciting. we're very happy... really.

Owen Grady: Well, I'm glad to hear that. I'm not sure I could go through with some--

Claire Dearing: Owen! Prepare to move out.

Owen Grady: Um, time to get going.

[Radar, Jonathan and Jesse sigh]

Claire Dearing: Move out!

[Horses whinny]

Owen Grady: If we get to the Honshu Pass by midday tomorrow...

Claire Dearing: We'll have just enough time to make it to Qui Gong.

Sandy Cheeks: Yeah, just enough time to stop Owen from making Tthe biggest mistake of my -- I-I mean, uh, his life.

[Horse whinnies]

[Owen sighs]

Claire Dearing: What's the face?

Owen Grady: What face?

Claire Dearing: That face.

Owen Grady: There's no face. This is my face, That's all.

Claire Dearing: You know I know you better than that, Owen. What's wrong?

Owen Grady: [Sighs] I realize our duty is to the mission.

Claire Dearing: But?

Owen Grady: But I have another duty... to my heart.

Claire Dearing: Oh, Owen, your only duty is to the Queen.

Owen Grady: But, Claire, an arranged marriage?

Claire Dearing: I know, but not everyone can be as lucky as we are. In an ideal world, everyone would marry for love.

[Owen sighs]

Claire Dearing: But the world isn't perfect. I'm just glad my world is.

Sandy Cheeks: [Sighs] "My world" -- Talk about selfish. You know, you don't hear me bragging about how it's my world, even though it pretty much is. I'm telling you, Angie, the sooner I bust them apart, the better things will be for Owen.

Merida: And so I said, "You just broke my best set of China." [Laughs] China, get it?

Petra: Did you see the way he looked at me?

Merida: You mean with disgust?

[Merida and Mavis laughter]

Petra: No!

Merida: Ow!

Petra: Our eyes met, and we shared a cosmic moment.

Mavis: Oh, just like when I look at potted pig's knuckles.

[Merida laughs]

Petra: It's love, I tell you! Love...

Merida: Love, shmove -- It doesn't matter. We're on a mission. No fraternizing with the princes.

Mavis: Engaged-to-be-married princes.

Petra: Oh, yeah.

Jonathan: Wow, China is so big! Isn't it beautiful, Jesse? Jesse?

Jesse: Oh, yes. Beautiful. Did you see the way she looked at me?

Radar: Who, The grumpy red haired gal?

Jesse: Grumpy? She's more like a big, cuddly panda bear.

Jonathan: But you didn't even talk to her.

Jesse: A true romantic can tell -- She may be coarse on the outside, but on the inside...

Radar: She's gross?

Jesse: I mean under that.

Jonathan: She smells? Oh!

Jesse: I can see past my nose. Deep down -- Deep, Deep down, way down, there's something.

Jonathan: Oh, Radar, I think he's in love.

Radar: Oh, no. There'll be none of that. Remember, Jesse, you are to be married in three days. You gave your solemn oath.

Jesse: You're right.

Claire Dearing: Whoa! [Horses neigh]

Owen Grady: We're stopping to water the animals, your highnesses. Mayde you'd like to stretch your legs?

Jesse: Are the, um, guard fellows out there?

Owen Grady: Oh, yes, you're perfectly safe.

Jesse: I think a leg stretch would be very nice.

[Jonathan giggles]

Petra: [Humming] Oops. uh...

Jesse: Thank you for helping me with my shoe.

Petra: Ow!

Jesse: May I know your name?

Petra: Uh, now, dow, cow! Bao?

Jesse: No, you must eat. It must be exausting guarding us day and night.

Petra: Oh, no. Well, yes, but I'm strong and marching.

Jesse: Yes, I suppose all that trainning does make it second nature.

Petra: But I think, un, you and prince with, uh... Oh, I could never.

Jesse: But it is our duty and our honor, although it can be a burden. Oh, I've said too much. You are very easy to talk to, Petra.

Petra: Permit me to echo your praise, your highness. I find your presence engaging and your conversation sparkling.

Jesse: Thank you.

Jonathan: [Inhales deeply and grunting softly] Whoa!

[Mavis and Jonathan giggles]

Radar: Hmm. [Gasps]

Merida: Well, hello there. I am Merida.

Radar: I am Prince Radar.

Merida: Well, if you ever need me, just give me a Ting-a-Ling! [Laughs]

[Radar groans]

Merida: Come on, your higness. You don't want to let your guard down. Get it? Guard...down? thank you! [Laughs] [Radar groans]

Merida: You know, I've got some blue blood myself. Many have called me a Royal Pain! Thank you!

Radar: Oh!

Merida: You've been a great crowd! [Sighs]

Jonathan: [Giggles] Radar, look! Isn't this fruit lovely? Mavis got it for me. She's so sweet.

Radar: Just get your pomegranates in the carriage.

[Jonathan laughs]

Jesse: Owen Grady?

Owen Grady: Your highness. Is anything wrong?

Jesse: No, no, not at all.

Owen Grady: Are you...sure?

Jesse: Uh... I just wanted to compliment you. You were so brave to take your mother's place in the army.

Owen Grady: Oh, well, thank you.

Jesse: Your duty was to stay home, but your heart told you to break the rules. How did you decide between duty and heart? Uh...oh!

Owen Grady: Well, it wasn't easy, but, uh, by following my feelings, I wound up doing the right thing. I guess I learned that my duty is to my heart.

Jesse: My duty is to my heart. Yes, that makes sense. That's marvelous! Thank you, Owen Grady! Thank you!

Owen Grady: You're welcome...I guess.

Claire Dearing: Let's get back on the road!

Sandy Cheeks: Ha ha...That's my cue to put "operation Claire" into action. Pretty girl's gonna look so bad, it'll send Owen running for the hills. This is gonna be delicious. Ah...

Claire Dearing: Hmm... Mnh-mnh-mnh. Watch this. Unh! Oh! Hey! What -- What -- [Mumbling] Aah!

Owen Grady: Good catch, Claire.

[Claire Laughing]

Sandy Cheeks: [Growls] Aah! [Laughs evilly]

Claire Dearing: Oh!

[Owen Smooches her and laughs]

[Sandy is grumbling]

[Blue nickers and snorts at Sandy]

Claire Dearing: Aah! Ohh! [Whimpering]

Owen Grady: Oh...Claire? Unh! Oh!

[Both laugh]

Sandy Cheeks: AAH! [Groaning] [Gasps]

[Blue roars]

Claire Dearing: Ohh! Ohh! Aah! Oh! Oh! Oh!

[Air whistling]

Owen Grady: Hey! Mmm...Tasty!

[Sandy Growls]

[Blue roars and chews Sandy then she spits her out]

Sandy Cheeks: Aah! [Shouting and groaning weakly]

Sandy Cheeks: [Grunts] I try and I try. I put my heart and soul into busting them up. And what do I have to show for it?

[Angie laughing at Sandy]

Sandy Cheeks: A fish laughs in my face. Oh, I just can't do it anymore! Oh, great ancestors, I throw myself at your mercy. My pedestal is all but a distant memory. Great Spirits, take me now! Aah!

Angie: Sandy I coming!

[Sandy is muffled shuting]

[Princes are shuting]

Petra: Hold on, gentlemen. Ohh! We'll save you! Look out -- a cliff!

Claire Dearing: They're headed for the cliff. Come on!

Owen Grady: Hyah! Hyah! Hyah!

Claire Dearing: Time to go, gentlemen.

Merida: Radar, over here!

Radar: Go!

Jesse: Oh!

Radar: You next, Jonathan!

Jonathan: No, no, no! Alley-oop!

Claire Dearing: Take my arm!

Claire Dearing: Merida!

[Radar gasps]

Merida: Radar's stuck!

Claire Dearing: Owen, the rope!

Owen Grady: Hyah!

[Blue roars]

All: Aah! Aah! Aah!

Owen Grady: Hang on!

[All screaming]

[All counghing, gasping and breathing heavily] Aah! Unh!

Claire Dearing: Is everyone all right?

Petra: Jesse, I'll save you!

Jonathan: I saved the food.

Mavis: And I saved you.

[Owen gasps]

Claire Dearing: Owen!

[Owen coughing]

Claire Dearing: What happened?

Owen Grady: I don't know. I wasn't near the carriage.

Claire Dearing: Petra, Merida, save the supplies.

Jesse: Keep paddling.

[Petra gasping]

Jesse: Oh, look how great you're doing. Who's the big girl?

Petra: Thank you.

Angie: It's all your fault, Sandy!

Sandy Cheeks: My fault? This wasn't my plan. Wagon's busted, cold and miserable -- everything's ruined. or maybe not. Old Claire's steaming like a fresh pork bun. [Laughs] I bet she and Owen are two nasty words away from an all-out feud! Oh, Angie, things are brightening up after all!

Sandy Cheeks: Oh...

Angie: Hm? Hmm...

Owen Grady: I've seen happier princes.

Claire Dearing: That's the least of our problems. Oh! There's a mountain pass between here and Qui Gong. It takes us through Bandit Country, but it's the only way.

Owen Grady: Why not just follow the river?

Claire Dearing: Because the river's not on the map.

Owen Grady: It's bound to go past a town, and where there's a town, there's a road.

Claire Dearing: There's no town on the map.

Owen Grady: Well, then, maybe we should just forget the map and wing it.

Claire Dearing: We can't wing it. We need a new plan. We have three days. What if we get lost?

Owen Grady: Then we pull over and ask directions.

Claire Dearing: We don't need to pull over and ask directions. We have a map!

Owen Grady: What is it with women and asking directions?

Claire Dearing: What is it with men and maps?

Owen Grady: Oh, you're saying men can't read maps?

Claire Dearing: I'm saying that men will ask directions.

Owen Grady: Women follow directions but they won't follow directions.

Owen Grady: Even when there are no directions because they refuse women follow directions to ask directions.

Claire Dearing: So they don't need to ask for directions.

Petra: General, I -- oh... Am I interrupting?

Claire Dearing: What is it, Petra?

Petra: Scout report. I found a village and a path to it through the forest.

Owen Grady and Claire Dearing: A...forest path?

Claire Dearing: Great.

[Owen and Claire clhuckle]

Claire Dearing: Show us.

Petra: See? If it were a snake, it would have bit you.

Owen Grady: There's bound to be a road down there that'll lead us to Qui Gong.

Claire Dearing: Good work, Petra.

Petra: Thank you, lady.

Owen Grady: Claire, I'm sorry. You're in charge of the mission.

Claire Dearing: No, I'm the one who's sorry. A good leader is open to new ideas. Forgive me?

Owen Grady: There's nothing to forgive.

Owen Grady and Claire Dearing: Mmm... oh! [Chuckle]

Owen Grady: Um, I better go. I've got the first watch... General.

Claire Dearing: But...

Angie: I told you, Sandy. Pbht!

Sandy Cheeks: Are you bugging? Look at him go. He can't wait to get away from her.

Angie: OWEN AND CLAIRE SMILED.

Sandy Cheeks: That's no smile. That's a mask of pain.

Angie: Uh-oh.

Sandy Cheeks: Yeah, well, that was just phase one of my new 18-phase master plan. Now, just watch phase two when I get up close...

Angie: Aaah!

Sandy Cheeks: ...and personal.

[Pounding]

[Petra grunts] [Jesse sighs]

Merida: Excuse me. Your hignness? I found your book. It just needed a little drying out.

Radar: Oh, thank you, Merida.

Merida: Normally, I would say, "I'm your biggest fan." [Laughs] But, uh... I'll just go away now... again. Oh! sorry.

[Jesse and Radar chuckling]

Merida: I'll re-- I'll replace that. Oh! [Mumbling] Of course he doesn't like you.You're such a Ding-A-Ling.

Jesse: She likes you.

Radar: It would seem so.

Jesse: And you like her...

Radar: Well, I...appreciate that she's a good soldier.

Jesse: How can you do that?! How can you look right at someone, realize you share a special connection, and then just --

Radar: I know where my duty lies, Jesse. Do you?

Jesse: [Gasps and sighs] "And so, my dear mother, I cannot complete this mission. I have come to realize that my duty is to my heart."

Radar: What are you doing?

[Jesse gasps]

Jonathan: [Gasps] He's running away!

Radar: Jesse, what are you thinking?!

Jesse: I can't complete this mission. I know that now.

Radar: Why -- because Petra has given you her heart?

Jesse: No! It's not about her heart. It's about mine.

Radar: Jesse, we've discussed this. A prince must make every sacrifice for his country. It's our duty.

[Jesse is sobbing]

Radar: ♪ The life of a prince ♪ ♪ From his birth is well-defined ♪ [Jesse's sobbing continues] ♪ He must humbly serve his country ♪ ♪ Play the part he's been assingned ♪ ♪ He guards the hopes of his people ♪ ♪ weak and mighty, rich and poor ♪ ♪ Who could ever ask for more? ♪

Jonathan: ♪ Who could ever ask for... ♪

Radar: ♪ Who could ever ask for... ♪

Radar and Jonathan: ♪ more? ♪

Jesse: [Grunting] ♪ I want to be like other boys ♪ ♪ Climb up a tree like other boys can ♪

Jesse and Jonathan: ♪ Just to be free like other boys ♪ ♪ Get to be ♪

Radar: JesseI! Jonathan!

Jesse: ♪ To slouch when I sit ♪

Jonathan: ♪ To eat a whole cake ♪

Jesse: ♪ Feel the sun on my feet ♪

Jonathan: ♪ Get dirty ♪

Jesse: ♪ Act silly ♪

Jesse and Jonathan: ♪ Be anything I want to be ♪

Jesse: ♪ Dance around ♪

Jonathan: ♪ In my underwear ♪

Jesse and Jonathan: ♪ To run really fast ♪

Jesse: ♪ To get rid of this book ♪

Jonathan: ♪ To eat a whole cake ♪

Jesse: ♪ Get crazy ♪

Jonathan: ♪ With frosting ♪

Jesse: ♪ No escort ♪

Jonathan: ♪ No nursemaid ♪

Jesse: ♪ No manners ♪

Jesse and Jonathan: ♪ No worries, no hands folded perfect ♪ ♪ Like holding a lily ♪

Radar: ♪ No pinchy shoes? ♪

[All giggling]

Radar, Jonathan and Jesse: ♪ I want to be free like other boys ♪ ♪ Scrape up my knee like other boys can ♪ ♪ Just to be free like other boys ♪ ♪ Get to be ♪

Jesse: ♪ To speak for myself ♪

Jonathan: ♪ To sing way off-key ♪

Radar, Jonathan and Jesse: ♪ Marry someone I've met who loves me for me ♪

Radar: ♪ No escort, no "manners" ♪ ♪ No manners ♪

Radar, Jonathan and Jesse: ♪ No worries ♪ ♪ No hands folded perfect ♪ ♪ Like holding a lily ♪ ♪ No pinchy shoes ♪ ♪ I want to be free like other boys ♪ ♪ Climb up a tree like other boys can ♪ ♪ Just to be free like other boys ♪ ♪ Get to be ♪ [Giggling]

Mavis: Oh.

Sandy Cheeks: He defied you. He insulted you. Man, he laughed at your map.

Claire Dearing: [Sleepily] Mm map...

Sandy Cheeks: And if he's laughing to your face, imagine what he's saying behind your back!

Claire Dearing: My back...

Sandy Cheeks: Oh, oh... He's a loose cannon. He's out of control!

Claire Dearing: He's out of control.

Sandy Cheeks: I mean, who's in charge here -- You...or Owen?

Claire Dearing: I'm in charge. I'm in charge.

Sandy Cheeks: Owen...OWEN!

Claire Dearing: Owen! Huh? [Sighs, yawns] [Lips smacking]

[Sandy maked a robot whitch stand on it the three prince's puppet and an Owen robot suit]

Sandy Cheeks: [Clears throat] General Claire? [Clears throat] That's not it. [In deep voice] General Claire? Hello? It's me -- Owen. General Claire. [Clears throat] [Imitating Owen] Claire? Claire? Claire? [Normal voice] Ooh, I got it. [Imitating Owen] General Claire? General hardhead, That's what they should call her. Everything's got to have a strategy.

Claire Dearing: Owen?

Sandy Cheeks: The woman won't brush her teeth without a backup plan.

Claire Dearing: What? Huh?

Sandy Cheeks: I blame myself. I fell for those slim shoulders. I didn't realize there wasn't much sitting on top of them.

[The robot's head popped off]

[Sandy gasps and put the robot in magnet mode and put back its head]

Sandy Cheeks: Oh, except for that garlic breath. [Normal voice] Ooh-wee, that girl can peel paint! Oops.

Claire Dearing: [Gasps] That's enough! Where is he?

Sandy Cheeks: [Laughs] I am good!

Claire Dearing: Owen!

Owen Grady: Why, hello, General. Out on night maneuvers?

Claire Dearing: General Hardhead? Brushing my teeth?

Owen Grady: Um...something wrong?

Claire Dearing: I heard you, Owen -- every word.

Owen Grady: Every...word of what?

Claire Dearing: Don't play coy! I saw you outside my tent.

Owen Grady: What? I haven't left my post.

Claire Dearing: And I suppose you weren't gossiping about me with the princes.

Owen Grady: Claire, did that dip in the river get you waterlogged? And why are you talking with your hand over your mouth?

Claire Dearing: I wouldn't want to peel your paint!

Petra: Changing of the guard.

Claire Dearing: AND NEXT TIME, DON'T LEAVE YOUR POST!

Owen Grady: Hmm!

Petra: What's with her?

Owen Grady: Ohh!

Petra: What's with him? Who am I talking to?

Owen Grady: Oh! How could she not believe me?

Angie: The whole of Sandy's work.

Sandy Cheeks: I don't know, boyfriend, but I do know this -- without trust... there can be no relationship. And that woman don't trust you.

Owen Grady: Maybe she was just confused.

Sandy Cheeks: Oh, please. First you fussed about the arranged marriage. Then you fought about which way to Qui Gong. Now y'all feuding over nothing. It seems pretty clear to me.

Owen Grady: You're right. [Sighs] Sandy, I don't know what to do.

Sandy Cheeks: Oh, I do. It's simple. Drop that girl like a hot pot sticker. Kick her to the curb! Burn her letters, and dance around the fire, yelling, "Happy days are here again!"

Owen Grady: You know, you have a point. If this is the real Claire Dearing, I don't like what I'm seeing.

Radar: I hope the tea is still warm.

[Petra, Merida and Mavis are indistinct whispering]

Merida: After you.

Mavis: No, After you.

Petra: No, After you.

Merida: After you.

Petra: I said after you!

Merida and Mavis: Unh!

[Petra, Merida and Mavis are grunting]

Petra: Aah!

[Radar, Jonathan and Jesse gasp]

Petra: [Grunts] You -- I'm gonna --

Jesse: Petra!

Petra: Huh?

Jesse: Is everything all right?

Petra: No. I mean, yes. You see, Mavis here has always had a dream.

Jonathan: A dream?

Mavis: A dream?

Petra: A dream.

Mavis: But I don't -- Ooh! Oh, that dream.

Petra: A dream of seeing a small village in the middle of nowhere by the moonlight.

Jonathan: How can we help?

Petra: Well, If your highnesses would consent to come with us to the village, We could still guard you, and Mavis could have her dream.

Mavis: My one chance to be like other gals.

Jesse and Jonathan: Can we? Radar, can we, please?

Radar: Oh!

Jesse and Jonathan: Oh, please, please, please. Radar, please!

Radar: Sounds like fun.

[All cheering]

Petra: Shh!

Jonathan: Ooh, we're sorry. [Giggles]

Merida: We're off!

Owen Grady: I never noticed we were so different.

Sandy Cheeks: Huh?

Owen Grady: It's like I don't even know her.

Sandy Cheeks: Well, what do you know about that?

Owen Grady: I mean, I know she's "by the book," but doesn't the woman ever bend a rule?

Sandy Cheeks: And, uh, speaking of bending rules --

Owen Grady: You know, relationships are easy when everything runs nice and smooth. Oh, but --

Sandy Cheeks: Owen... Nice and smooth just ran out of camp.

Owen Grady: What?!

Sandy Cheeks: Say, did you know that almonds, rice, and milk are part of a complete breakfast?

Owen Grady: Sandy!

Sandy Cheeks: I'm just trying to tell you the princes went a.w.o.l., that's all.

Owen Grady: Where are the guards? Ohh!

Sandy Cheeks: Uh, showing them the way.

Owen Grady: They're together?!

Sandy Cheeks: Mm-Hmm.

Owen Grady: Together together?

Sandy Cheeks: Don't you understand chinese? Oh! hey, what about old Clairei?

Owen Grady: I think I better handle this one on my own. Claire's on a short fuse as it is. Just make sure nothing wakes her up.

Sandy Cheeks: [Laugs] You can count on me.

[Sandy is Loud music playing]

[Claire snoring]

[Sandy growls and laughs]

Angie: Sandy, stop it!

[Crash]

Claire Dearing: Aaah!

Angie: Get out there.

Claire Dearing: Where are the guards? The princes! Oh! "My duty is to my heart"? AAAH! Owen!

[Neighs]

Sandy Cheeks: Get your ticket, fishy. The show's about to begin.

Angie: I told you leave her alone!

Sandy Cheeks: Ow! Oh!

[Chinese music plays]

[Shouting and cheering]

Jonathan: Wow! look at all the food!

Mavis: [Sniffs] Mmm!

Vendor Guy: We just got in some excellent ginger.

Mavis: [Sniffs] Ah, ginger. That goes very well with dumplings.

Jonathan: Did you say "dumplings"? [Laughs]

Mavis: Mmm.

Vendor Guy: How about some fresh ginsng?

Mavis: That makes a wonderful accompaniment to soyabeans.

Jonathan: One order of soyabeans.

Mavis: [Crunches] Mmm.

A Wrestler: Hyah! Oh!

Jesse: Oh! Ooh!

Challenger: She's done! Get her off!

Jesse: Oh, My!

Challenger: Who will be next to challenge this undefeated wrestler gal?

[She growls]

Jesse: Oh!

Petra: Step aside.

Jesse: Petra! Oh, no!

A Woman: You'll get killed, little girl.

[Petra growls]

Petra: Oh!

A Wrestler: Oh!

Jesse: Oh! [Gasps]

[A Wrestler laughs and gasps]

[Cheering]

Petra: So, where'd she go?

A Wrestler: Ohhh!

[Laughter]

Jesse: Petra! You're my hero!

[Cheers and applause]

Vendor Woman: Pick a prize, any prize.

[Jesse Sighs]

Vendor Woman: Which one do you want, lady?

Petra: Give me that one.

[Jesse laughs]

Merida: [Laughing] Oh, yeah! Okay, okey. Okay, how about this one? What does Attila say when he walks through the door? "Hun, I'm home!" [Laughing and sighs] I give up. I guess I'm not as funny as I think.

[Popping]

Merida: Aaaah! Aaaaaah! Uhh. [Sighs]

Radar: [Chuckles, laugs and snorts] Oh.

Merida: Huh?

[Radar laughing]

Merida: What a cute laugh.

Radar: Oh, no. I-I hate my laugh.

Merida: What? It's adorable!

[Radar snorting]

Merida: I thought you didn't have a sense of humor.

Radar: No sense of humor?

Merida: Ahhh! [Laughing]

[Radar snorts]

[Merida and Radar Laughing and snorting]

[Princes Sigh]

Jesse: It's so beautiful.

Petra: Yeah.

Radar: It's the same moon we see from the palace.

Jonathan: No, this one is entirely different.

Radar: You're right.

Owen Grady: I know I've never seen anything like it.

All: Owen! Oh! Oh! Owen!

Owen Grady: I'm listening.

Mavis: We -- That is --

Merida: uh, all of us --

Petra: oh, boy.

Jesse: Owen Grady, it's love. Petra and myself, Mavis and Jonathan...

Radar: And myself and Merida bear -- I-I mean, Merida...

[All squeal and laughter]

Mavis: Group hug!

Owen Grady: [Groans] Oh, I'm so happy for all of you.

[Horse neighs]

Owen Grady: Huh?

Jesse: Huh?

Radar: Huh?

Jonathan: Huh?

Mavis: General Claire?

Owen Grady: Oh!

Jesse: Oh!

Radar: Oh!

Jonathan: Oh!

Merida: General Claire?

Petra: Oh, boy.

Mavis: Ohh. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me.

Owen Grady: Don't worry. I'll handle this.

Claire Dearing: I'm so sorry to break up your little party.

Sandy Cheeks: Ooh, this is gonna be good.

Owen Grady: Claire, before you jump to consclusions, let me explain the situation.

Claire Dearing: Fine! Why don't we start with this?

[Owen gasps]

Jesse: That's mine.

Claire Dearing: All yours, or did you have help? "And so, my dear mother, "I cannot complete this mission. "I have come to realize that my duty is to my heart." Now, who does that sound like?

Jonathan: Jesse never meant to send that letter.

Claire Dearing: Your highnesses, you swore a vow to be married in Qui Gong. If your mother saw you now, breaking that vow, what would she say?

Radar, Jonathan and Jesse: Oh.

Claire Dearing: You three are to escort their highnesses back to their tents immediately. You are to guard them. You are not to enter their tents. You are not to speak to them -- not a word ever. Am I understood?

Petra: Yes, lady!

Merida: Yes, lady!

Mavis: Yes, lady!

[All sigh]

Owen Grady: Claire, the problem isn't as bad as it seems.

Claire Dearing: The problem, Owen, is you!

Owen Grady: What?

Claire Dearing: You place your own feelings above everything. Duty, obligation, tradition -- it all means nothing to you.

Owen Grady: It means everything to me! My heart tells me my duty, and I follow it.

Claire Dearing: OH!

Owen Grady: You're a brilliant warrior, Claire. [Sighs] You're brave. You're loyal. But you don't trust your heart. Sometimes I wonder if you even have one.

Claire Dearing: [Gasps] This assignment has made it clear we are very different people.

Owen Grady: Maybe too different.

Claire Dearing: Fine!

[Neighs]

Claire Dearing: We have a mission to complete.

Owen Grady: Fine.

[Slow music plays]

Sandy Cheeks: [Yawns] Isn't it a great day?

[Flute music playing]

Sandy Cheeks: I see pretty girl isn't talking to you, and you're not talking pretty girl. Well, you know you can always talk to me. Huh. Just wait till he realizes what I've done for him. Will that frown turn upside down!

Angie: THAT'S ALL YOUR FAULT, SNAPDSQUIRREL!

Sandy Cheeks: Snapdsquirrel?! Hah! Just for that, I'm not talking to you!

Angie: Fine!

Radar: We're so sorry for what we've done, Owen Grady.

Jesse: You inspired us to follow our hearts, and we repay you by ruining your relationship.

Owen Grady: No, you just opened my eyes to how broken it was. I'm indebted to you, Jesse.

Claire Dearing: Keep a sharp eye. This is bandit country.

[Horse snorts]

Merida: [Gasps] I sure wish we could talk to the princes, Petra.

Petra: What? You know we can't.

Merida: Oh.

Petra: Oh, yes, Merida, I also wish we could talk to them, but as you know, orders is orders.

Merida: Yes, but if I could talk to them, do you know what I would say?

Petra: No, Merida, what would you say if only you could?

Merida: I'd tell Radar that he's the prettiest...

Radar: Oh.

Merida: Funniest... most extraordinary boy I've ever met.

Mavis: I would tell Prince Jonathan that he is like fresh ginger on the rice bowl of my life.

[Jonathan giggles]

Petra: And I would tell Jesse that he's one right guy.

[Jesse giggles]

Sandy Cheeks: Owen, what do you say to a little Pick-Me-Uu?

Owen Grady: My mother said, "differences can make you stronger." She didn't realize that Claire and I are just too different.

Sandy Cheeks: Well... you know you -- you always got me. The old team, right?

Owen Grady: Aw. You're always looking out for me, Sandy.

Sandy Cheeks: [Laughs nervously] Well, just doing the best I can.

Owen Grady: Really, I just don't know what I'd do without you. You're the best friend I've ever had.

Sandy Cheeks: [Chattering, gasping and sobbing ] AAAAH! Oh, I can't stand it no more! The only thing wrong with you and Claire is me! I'm the one that got between you.

Owen Grady: What are you talking about? It's not like you made the carriage go into the river.

Sandy Cheeks: Now, that was an accident. Following several attempts at "on purpose."

Owen Grady: And it wasn't you outside Claire's tent.

Sandy Cheeks: [Gulps] Heh heh. You know how I gab.

Owen Grady: And you woke her up after I left?

Sandy Cheeks: It wasn't easy, neither. That woman can sleep!

Owen Grady: SANDY, WHAT DID YOU DO?!

Sandy Cheeks: Well, I was banging pots and pans-

Owen Grady: NO! WHAT DID YOU DO?

Sandy Cheeks: [Chattering] You was getting married! Everything was gonna change! I was gonna lose you! And my pedestal!

Owen Grady: You mean you got between Claire and me so you could keep your job?!

Sandy Cheeks: I'm sorry.

Owen Grady: What you did was unforgivable.

Sandy Cheeks: But you and Claire are so different.

Owen Grady: Wait a second. Not as different as I though. Oh! All those problems -- they weren't us. They were you!

Sandy Cheeks: Oh.

Owen Grady: Oh, I've got to talk to Claire, tell her I love her. Hyah!

Sandy Cheeks: Owen, I-I'll make it up to you. I promise!

Owen Grady: Forget it! You've helped enough.

Sandy Cheeks: Oh!

Owen Grady: Claire! Claire!

Claire Dearing: Ah!

Owen Grady: It's an ambush!

[Blue roars]

Petra: Close ranks!

Claire Dearing: Save the princes! Run! Run!

a Mugger: You two, get the gold!

a Mugger: Come on.

a Mugger: You two, come with me.

Owen Grady: I got 'em! Claire, I've got your back.

Petra: Take my hand!

Jesse: Oh! Ugh!

Owen Grady: The princes!

Jesse: How dare you touch me!

a Mugger: It won't budge!

a Mugger: Then take the whole package!

Jesse: No!

Petra: Get your hands off him!

Merida and Mavis: Oh!

Radar and Jonathan: Oh!

Jesse: Help! No! Petra!

Claire Dearing: Hold them off! Let's go!

Jesse: Help me!

Owen Grady: Run!

Petra: Jesse!

Jesse: Petra!

Merida: Oh!

Mavis: Oh!

Radar: Oh!

Jonathan: Oh!

a Mugger: Come on!

[Owen and Claire gasp]

Owen Grady and Claire Dearing: Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! AAAH! AAAH! Oh!

[Owen groans]

a Mugger: Let's get out of here!

Owen Grady: [Gasping] Aaah! Aaah! Oh! Claire, hang on.

Claire Dearing: It won't hold us both.

Owen Grady: It will. It will, Claire. Uh!

Claire Dearing: Owen... I'm sorry.

Owen Grady: Please! Claire! CLAIRE! [Crying]

[Mournful music plays]

[Thunder crashes]

Owen Grady: Claire! [Sobbing]

[Slow flute music plays]

Radar: Owen Grady, We're ready to go through with the wedding.

Owen Grady: No. Your orders are to take care of each other.

Mavis: But...

Owen Grady: Losing Claire will not be meaningless. No matter what it takes, I'm finishing this mission.

[The horse is snoring, sniffing, snorts, sniffing, neighs, counghing, pating and nickers]

Claire Dearing: Good horse.

Ruby Deagle: What do you mean, they are gone?

Owen Grady: There was an accident, Mrs. Deagle. The royal carrige fell into the river and was destroyed.

Ruby Deagle: Oh. A grave loss.

Ruby Deagle's scientists: [Clears throat] Hmm? Mnh-mnh. Mnh-mnh. Mnh-mnh. Mnh-mnh.

Ruby Deagle: But -- But it does not alter agreement with the Queen! And unless it is honored, I will sanction no alliance with the Middle Kingdom! A marriage was promised!

Owen Grady: And a marriage there will be.

Qui Gong civilians and scientists: [All gasp] Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm?

Owen Grady: I would be honored to wed a princess of Qui Gong.

Ruby Deagle: You?

a Scientists: My lady, Owen Grady -- The hero of China. Oh, a jewel in your crown -- far more dear than three mere princes.

Ruby Deagle's scientists: Mm-Hmm. Mm-Hmm. Mm-Hmm.

Ruby Deagle: Mmm. This is not what was agreed! however, the Golden Dragon of Unity simles upon you today. And in view of the tragedy, I will accept your offer. You will make a fine groom for my eldest daughter, Princess Ericka Van Helsing.

[Gong crashes]

Ericka Van Helsing: [Gasps and laughs nervously] This is him?! He's so old!

[Owen groans]

Petra: Owen said he was going to finish the mission no matter what.

Jesse: But how can he without us?

Claire Dearing: By taking your place.

[All gasp]

Merida: Claire's alive!

All: Yahoo! Yay! Yahoo!

[Neighs]

[All laughter]

Claire Dearing: Owen was right. No one should marry someone they don't love. I'm going to Qui Gong.

Radar: We're going with you.

Claire Dearing: No, you're not. stay here.

[Neighs]

Merida: Hmm...Would you say that was an order?

Mavis: I would say it was a friendly suggestion.

Petra: Let's go!

[Cheering]

Owen Grady: Looks like we won't be a team after all, Sandy.

Sandy Cheeks: Oh, Owen... I would give up a thousand pedestal if I could stop this.

[Slow music plays]

Owen Grady: I doubt even The Golden Dragon of Unity could stop this now. Goodbye, Sandy.

[Crowd are murmuring]

[Ericka is humming, gasps and grunts]

Ruby Deagle: My people... The Golden Dragon of Unity who guides us in all we do, today sanctifies a union that will be a blessing for all of Qui Gong.

Ericka Van Helsing: Aah!

[Cheers and applause]

Ruby Deagle: Huh?

[Ericka Chuckles nervously]

Angie: Do you want to stop it?

Sandy Cheeks: Of course I want to stop it. But what can one Itty-BIitty squirrel do?

Ruby Deagle: With the Tying of this sash, we shall unite not only two lives but two kingdoms.

[Claire shots with her gun]

Ruby Deagle: Aah!

a Civilian: It's General Claire Dearing! She's alive!

[Owen gasps]

[Horse Whinnies]

Angie: YES!

Sandy Cheeks: Whoo-Hoo! Yeah! Claire to the rescue! Lucky for Ruby Deagle, 'Cause I was about to whip her butt.

Owen Grady: Oh, You're alive!

Claire Dearing: I couldn't let you get married without me.

Ruby Deagle: General! This outrageous! You will leave at once!

Claire Dearing: I'm not going anywhere.

Owen Grady: [Gasps] What are you doing?

Claire Dearing: I don't know. I'm winging it.

Ruby Deagle: How dare you trample upon this sacred ceremony?

Sandy Cheeks: Oh, my gosh! She's gonna lower the hammer on Claire! Where is the dang Dragon of Unity when you need her?

Angie: Sandy, there is!

Sandy Cheeks: Oh, don't sister me now, Angie, I -- [Gasps] I have an idea!

Claire Dearing: My lady, I love Owen, and I don't care what the rules say. If he'll have me, I intend to marry him right here... right now.

Ruby Deagle: Insolent dog! Seize her!

Owen Grady: Claire!

Claire Dearing: Owen!

[Indistinct shouting]

Sandy Cheeks: Yo! what's with all this drama?

[Crowd gasping]

Ruby Deagle: The Golden Dragon of Unity -- She lives!

Owen Grady: Sandy?

[Mrs. Deagle gasps, grunts]

[Gong crashes and crowd murmuring]

Sandy Cheeks: Oh, you dang right I live! So you best drop your dumpling-eating behind on down and tell me why we ain't busting out the vows already, huh?

Ruby Deagle: But -- But -- But, your greatness, General Claire Dearing is not a daugther of Qui Gong.

Sandy Cheeks: Silence!

[Mrs. Deagle screaming]

Sandy Cheeks: I am The Golden Dragon of Unity, and I decide whom to unify. My all-seeing eye has peered into the very heart of China, and I've never seen two people more right for one anorher than this lovely couple right here... Owen and Claire. Give it up for them, would you, please?

[Cheers and applause]

Sandy Cheeks: Now I command you to proceed at once!

Ruby Deagle: Yes, your greatness. As you command.

Sandy Cheeks: Now, let's get down to business. Owen, do you love Claire? Of course you do. Claire, do you love Owen? Yes, very much. Moving on... By the power vested in me, by me, I hereby pronounce you husband and wife. You got anything to say, Ruby double Deagle?

Ruby Deagle: [Screaming] Yes -- Uh, I mean, no. I-I mean... whatever you say.

[Cheers and applause]

[Mrs. Deagle and Ericka laughing]

Sandy Cheeks: And furthermore, I hereby decree that the princes of The Middle Kingdom, wherever they may be, are released from their vow and may marry whom-so-ever they please... and who pleases them -- that's very important.

Angie: Yeah!

Petra: Honey-pie!

[Cheers and applause]

Angie: Ahh!

[Fireworks whistling]

Sandy Cheeks: [Sighs, sniffles and sighs] I can't believe I'm back on wake-up duty. Well, Owen is happy. And if he's happy, I'm happy.

Angie: Thank you to I be your colleague.

Sandy Cheeks: Well, thank you, Angie. I did do good, didn't I?

Gwen: Better get your rest, Sandy. I have a yoga session at dawn, and I don't want to be late for my greetings to the sun.

an Ancestor: And don't forget -- I like to be awakened from my beauty sleep with a nice, long foot massage.

Sandy Cheeks: [Gags] I think I'm gonna be sick.

[The Ancestors laughter and gasp]

Owen Grady: Claire, what are you doing?

Claire Dearing: Watch and see.

an Ancestor: What is she doing?

an Ancestor: It can't be! She's -- She's combining the family temples!

Gwen: Oh!

Sandy Cheeks: Uh, excuse me. Uh, what does that mean, exactly -- you know, for me?

Gwen: It -- It means...

Sandy Cheeks: [Whimpering] Yeah, what? What? It means what?

Gwen: Unfortunately, you get to keep your pedestal.

Sandy Cheeks: Oh, yeah! I'm back, baby! I am back! [Dingling] Yes! Oops.

Claire Dearing: So this is the famous Sandy Cheeks.

Owen Grady: Mm-hmm.

Claire Dearing: Somehow I pictured you...bigger.

Sandy Cheeks: Say what? You -- You told her about me? About us?

Owen Grady: [Laughs] I have no secrets from my wife, Sandy. I told her everything.

Sandy Cheeks: [Gulps] Everything? Everything?

Claire Dearing: That's right, Great Golden Squirrel of Unity.

[Sandy chuckles nervously]

Owen Grady: I still don't get it. What does combining our temples do?

Sandy Cheeks: It gives me back my pedestal.

Owen Grady: Oh...wait, but can you do this? Aren't there rules?

Claire Dearing: Of course, right next to the rules about dressing up like a woman and joining the army.

Sandy Cheeks: [Laugher] Well, what do you know? This thing just might work out after all.

[Owen and Claire chuckle]

Sandy Cheeks: Hey, yo, where's my masseuse?! Saving China gives me knots like you wouldn't believe!

Gwen: Oh!

Sandy Cheeks: And what about my pedicure? Let's get jamming on the toe jam, people. And somebody heat up some oil. I don't know what we gonna do with it yet, but it's gonna be good. Does a hero Squirrel deserve anything less? Draw my bath! Warm my towels! Let's the pampering begin!

THE END