Dr. Bob - Saves the Day

Two Klaymen are playing with their toys when their annoying friend starts choking! Unfortunately for them, Dr. Bob is there to help!

Cast (in order of appearance):Red Klayman, Blue Klayman, Green Klayman (Bill), Dr. Bob'''

Transcript
(Closeup of the table, a Red Klayman pushes a Blue Toy Klay Car on screen.)

Red Klayman: I'm just an innocent car, I'm not gonna hurt anyone, I'm just driving through!

(A Blue Klayman waves a Toy Red Klayman on screen)

Blue Klayman: I don't think so, I'm going to kill you!

Red Klayman No!

Blue Klayman: Yeah

Red Klayman: No!

Blue Klayman: Uh-huh, I'm going to kill you, because I am the... the... car... the-the Road Master! I'm the Road Master and...

(The Red Klayman shoves the Blue Klay Car into the Toy Red Klayman)

Blue Klayman:Ow, you ki.. you hit me with the car! Now...

(Zoom out to a full shot of the Klayman playing)

Red Klayman: Hey, your guy can't talk when he's dead! That's not fair! He's dead!

Blue Klayman: No, no, he's not dead!

Red Klayman: Yeah, he is.

Blue Klayman: No, he's not dead, he's just injured! Just because you get hit by a car doesn't mean...

Red Klayman: (interrupting) Yeah, I'm not gonna play with you anymore, you don't, you don't even play right!

Blue Klayman: I don't care, whatever, I'll just play by myself! Whatever, I don't care

(Enter Green Klayman holding a can Cocoa Cola in one hand and a slice Bologna in the other. He notices the two Klaymen)

Green Klayman: Huh?

Blue Klayman: Oh god, here comes Bill

Bill: Hey guys! Walks closer Hey guys! ...Guys? You want some Coco Cola? Hey, you want some.. you want to drink... I see you over there, you want to drink some Coco Cola? Drink it?

Blue Klayman: No!

Bill: Why?

Blue Klayman:No, because I.. I'm fat! I'm on a diet, I-I-I'm fat.

Bill: (Holds up Bologna) What about some Bologna? You want some Bologna? (close up of Bologna) You wanna eat the bologna?

Blue Klayman: No, I don't want to eat the bologna

Bill: Are you sure?

Blue Klayman: I don't want bologna!

(Bill starts eating the bologna, smacking it loudly in his mouth)

Blue Klayman: Can you stop that? (Bill continues smacking) Can you stop smacking?

(Bill starts choking)

Blue Klayman: Hey, can you shut up? I don't want to listen to that...

(Camera zooms in on the Red Klayman and starts shaking wildly)

Red Klayman: Don't tell him to shut up, he's choking!

(Camera zooms in on the Blue Klayman and continues shaking wildly)

Blue Klayman: Oh no, I didn't know he was choking!!

(Camera zooms in on Bill and continues shaking wildly Bill is choking even more)

(Camera focuses on both the Red and Blue Klaymen and shakes wildly between the two, despite this, the Klaymen talk with a calm tone)

Blue Klayman: So, what do you want to do?

Red Klayman: I dunno, the guy's choking

Blue Klayman: Well, I guess we better get some help.

Red Klayman: Yeah.

Bill: BUUUUHHHHHH

(Enter Dr. Bob)

Dr. Bob: Oh my god, that guy's in trouble! Don't you worry! Dr. Bob is coming to the rescue!

(Bill is standing next to the Red Klayman coughing in his face)

Red Klayman: God, no! Don't do that- Don't do that in my face!

(Bill stops coughing and turns away. However he faces the Red Klayman and starts coughing in his face again)

Red Klayman: Oh! (Punches Bill off screen) Get away from me!

(Bill is hit into Dr. Bob who punches him to the floor)

Dr. Bob: Get off me, you freak! I don't care if you're in trouble or not, you don't touch me that way!

Bill: (Strained) I'm choking! Can you help...?

Dr. Bob: (Wields a scalpel) You're gonna need an operation. Okay?

Bill: Oh... What?!

(Dr. Bob kicks Bill)

Dr. Bob: Trust me, I'm a professional. Okay? Now here comes the Choo-choo Train. Here comes the Choo-Choo train!

(Camera focuses on the Red and Blue Klaymen as the operation is heard off screen)

Blue Klayman: Are you sure he needs an operation? I mean, he's just choking.

Dr. Bob: Hey, do you guys have like a screwdriver? Like, this big? (Gestures the size) It has to be this big.

(The two Klaymen look at each other, then to Dr. Bob)

Red Klayman: Uh... No?

Dr. Bob: Oh... well, like a screwdriver that's this big? (closeup of Dr. Bob's hands) I mean, if it's not this big it's not going to work, so it has to be this big.

Bill: (with a normal voice) What's going on?

Dr. Bob: Hey, you need to shut up.

Bill: Wh-Where's my bologna at? I want my bologna! (pan left to reveal bologna) It's all the way over there, and I can't get my bologna! (Bill tries to get it, but it's about one arm length too far away) Let me have it! My Cocoa Cola! Where's my Coco Cola?!

Dr. Bob: (Holding the Cocoa Cola) I'm drinking your Coco Cola, now shut up! I'm trying to do an operation! (Throws the empty can at Bill's head, knocking him out) I can't do it when you're moving! Okay?

(Camera focuses on Red and Blue Klaymen)

Blue Klayman: (Touches the Red Klayman) Hey. (Red Klayman doesn't respond, he tries it again) Hey. (tries again) Hey!

Red Klayman: (Spazzes out) Wha-wha-wha-wha-what!? Cut it out! What do you want?

Blue Klayman: I wanna go play Halo!

Red Klayman: Screw Halo! Our friend's in an operation right now!

Blue Klayman: (Starts whining) I just wanna go play Halo!

(Bills dismembered arm lands in from off screen, Dr. Bob retrieves it)

Red Klayman: No, our...

Blue Klayman: (crying) I wanna play Halo...

Red Klayman: No, screw Halo, after our friend's done with the operation.

Dr. Bob: Well guys, the operation is complete. And apparently, he was choking on this piece of bologna. (Holds it up) But I couldn't save him. I did all I could.

(Camera shows Bill, who's been literally torn to pieces)

Dr. Bob: I least I can say that. He was a great man... I guess, he learned alot. (Walks up behind Red and Blue Klaymen) let's go get something to eat, guys!

(Dramatic zoom in on Dr. Bob's face)

Dr. Bob: Oh- Oh my god!

(Dramatic zoom in on the Klaymen's toys)

Dr. Bob: That guy was hit by a car! Why didn't you guys tell me about this?! Get out of my way, freaks! (shoves the two Klaymen out of the way)

(The Red Klayman slides along the ground, while the Blue Klayman tumbles quite violently)

Dr. Bob: (Examining the toys) Hey buddy? Hey buddy are you okay? You okay? Get out of my way, you stupid car! (slides the car away) You okay? ...This guy's dead.

Red Klayman: See, I told you he'd be dead if he got hit by a car!

Blue Klayman: Dangit! Just because you get hit by a car, it doesn't mean you have to be dead, Dr. Bob!

(A car drives over the blue Klayman's head. He dies)

Dr. Bob: Wow... Well, I saved the day, I guess it's safe to say! (chuckles)

Red Klayman: How did you save the day?

Dr. Bob: Uh... (Pulls out a gun and shoots the Red Klayman in the head, killing him) I just did. Th-That's all. I saved the day.

Easter Eggs
Right click and play once the movie ends. Instead of replaying, the following pulsing text will appear: If you find this... you are special if you dont... then you suck 12-18-87