Yoda's Naughty Tales

A series of mini-episodes in which Yoda misbehaves.

Episode I: Driving the Gunship
Obi-Wan: Good morning, Yoda. Did you sleep well?

Yoda: Of course, Mr. Kenobi. I was dreaming that I drove the gunship. Ooh, that gives me an idea. I really want to drive.

Obi-Wan: Well, you're too old, Yoda. You're only 862 years old.

Yoda: I don't care! (gets into the gunship)

Obi-Wan: (gasps) Yoda, what are you doing?! You can't drive the gunship!

Yoda: Yes, I can, Mr. Kenobi! I'll be real careful today! (drives off)

Obi-Wan: Yoda, come back here NOW!!! Anakin, come quick! Yoda's driving the gunship!

(Yoda drives to Jar Jar's house)

Jar Jar: Ohhh, Yoda! Mesa know you're driving the gunship!!

Yoda: But I couldn't cause a lot of damage, Mr. Jar Jar... (sighs)

(back at Obi-Wan's house...)

Obi-Wan: See what I really mean, Anakin Skywalker?!? Yoda drove off in his favorite gunship... AND I TOLD HIM NOT TO DO IT!!!

Anakin: Oh, no...

(back at Jar Jar's house...)

Yoda: Do not worry, Jar Jar Binks. I know a billion rules of driving.

Jar Jar: (yelling in crazy agony) NO, YOU DON'T, MASTER YODA!!!!

Yoda: (quietly) Yes... I do. I always stick to the road. (reverses into Jar Jar's house, causing a lot of damage) Oopsie...

Jar Jar: GAH!! MY HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yoda: I have forgotten to put the gearstick was in reverse, silly. (chuckles)

(Obi-Wan and Anakin arrive in Bail Organa's starship and scream at the whole sight)

Obi-Wan and Anakin: YODA!!!

Yoda: I guess I'm so grounded for 50 years, and no lightsabers for three weeks.

Obi-Wan: You're right, Master Yoda. Now come here.

(Yoda gets out of the gunship)

Yoda: I'm sorry I drove in my favorite gunship, you guys.

Anakin: That's it! Go to your room when we get home!

(end)

Episode II: At McDonald's
Obi-Wan: What food do you want at McDonald's, Yoda?

Yoda: 800 big macs, 250 large fries, and 60 large cokes, please.

Obi-Wan: That was too expensive and unhealthy for you. How about two cheeseburgers, one small fries, and six small cokes?

Yoda: Oh, yeah?! (throws an extremely violent tantrum) BWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAHHHH!!!! OBI-WAN, I WANT 800 BIG MACS, 250 LARGES FRIES, AND 60 LARGE COKES!!!!!!!!! YOU'RE THE WORST JEDI MASTER WITH AN ORANGE BEARD THAT I REALLY HATE YOU THIS TIME, BUT YOU NEVER LET ME HAVE A LOT OF FOOD AT MCDONALD'S!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Yoda continues his loud screaming tantrum as the people stare at him)

Obi-Wan: THAT'S IT, YODA!!! YOU'RE VERY, VERY GROUNDED FOR LIFE!!! NOW GET UP OFF THE FLOOR RIGHT NOW!!!!!

(Yoda resumes to scream tearfully and howl loudly, Obi-Wan has had enough)

Obi-Wan: FINE THEN!!! WE'LL JUST GO HOME AND WE WON'T HAVE EVERYTHING FOR LUNCH OR DESSERT!!!!!!! HOW WOULD YOU LIKE THAT?!?!??????????!!!!!

(Obi-Wan drags Yoda out of McDonald's, he cries all the way home)

(later...)

Yoda: I'm sorry I threw a tantrum at McDonald's, Mr. Kenobi. I promise...

Obi-Wan: Well? You could go out and play, Master Yoda. Go ahead right now.

Yoda: YAAAAAYYYY!!!! (runs outside)

(end)

Episode III: Using the Internet
Yoda: Boy, I love the internet! Now to go on YouTube to watch "Cartoons Scream (Dr. Giggles version)" by strongdrew941.

(but then...)

Yoda: (stares at the sign saying "This video is removed by the user. Sorry about that.") WHAAAAAT?!?!!

Obi-Wan: I've removed this YouTube video, so you couldn't go on any sites that are unsafe, Yoda.

Yoda: No, silly! But strongdrew941 still has some screaming videos.

Obi-Wan: Oh, dear. Enough is enough, Master Yoda. But don't use the internet at all! (leaves)

Yoda: Good thing I have Dragon Tales on the PBS Kids website!

(Yoda goes on Dragon Tales on the PBS Kids website, but...)

Yoda: (stares at the sign saying "WHOOPS! The Dragon Tales site doesn't live on the PBS Kids website anymore.") NOOOOOOO!!! STUPID DRAGON TALES!!!! THOUGH I WANT TO BRING IT BACK!!!!!!!!

Obi-Wan: If you scream one more time, you'll be banned from the computer! How would you like that, Master Yoda?!

Yoda: Okay, Mr. Kenobi! (Obi-Wan leaves again) Wait! I got an idea!

(Yoda goes onto the settings to change the parental controls so they don't block websites, but it requires a password, and this sets Yoda off)

Yoda: ARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGHHHHH, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! STUPID PASSWORD THAT REQUIRES!!! AND THIS REALLY SETS ME OFF AGAIN!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Obi-Wan: THAT'S IT, MASTER YODA!!!! YOU'RE EXTREMELY OFF FROM THIS INTERNET!!!!!!! NOW GO TO YOUR ROOM AND GO TO SLEEP FOR 400 YEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Yoda runs upstairs)

(later...)

Obi-Wan: If you don't misbehave all night long, I'll deleted the parental controls, remember?

Yoda: Okay, Mr. Kenobi. I promise.

(Yoda tries to be good all night long, Obi-Wan deletes the parental controls)

Yoda: Thanks, Mr. Kenobi! You're the best Jedi Master there is!

Obi-Wan: You're welcome, Yoda!

(end)