Thomas Breaks The Rules Transcript

Thomas Breaks The Rules Transcript is Pikachufreak's idea.

Description

 * Here's the full transcript to Thomas Breaks The Rules.

Characters

 * Thomas
 * Toby
 * Sir Topham Hatt
 * Henrietta (does not speak)
 * Lady Hatt (does not speak)
 * James (cameo)
 * Annie and Clarabel (cameo)

Ringo Starr US version

 * Ringo Starr: There's the line to a quarry at the end of Thomas' branch. It goes to some distance along the road. Thomas was very careful to whistle here in case anyone was coming. Early one morning, a large policeman was sitting close to the line. Thomas liked policemen. He had been a great friend of the officer who had just retired.
 * Thomas: Peep! Peep!
 * Ringo Starr: He whistled.
 * Thomas: Good morning.
 * Ringo Starr: Thomas expected that the new officer would be friendly too. But was sorry to see that he didn't look friendly at all. He was red in the face and very cross.
 * Policeman: Disgraceful!
 * Ringo Starr: He spluttered.
 * Policeman: I didn't sleep a wink last night. It was so quiet, and now engines come whistling suddenly behind me.
 * Thomas: I'm sorry, sir.
 * Ringo Starr: Said Thomas.
 * Thomas: I only said good morning.
 * Ringo Starr: The policeman pointed to Thomas.
 * Policeman: Where's your cowcatchers?
 * Ringo Starr: He asked.
 * Thomas: But I don't catch cows, sir.
 * Policeman: Don't be funny.
 * Ringo Starr: Snapped the policeman. He looked at Thomas' wheels.
 * Policeman: No side plates either.
 * Ringo Starr: And he wrote in his notebook.
 * Policeman: Engines going on public roads must have their wheels covered and a cowcatcher in front to protect people and animals from being dragged under the wheels if they stray under the line. You haven't so you are dangerous.
 * Driver: Rubbish.
 * Ringo Starr: Said Thomas' driver.
 * Driver: We've been along here hundreds of times and never had an accident.
 * Policeman: That makes it worse.
 * Ringo Starr: The policeman answered. He wrote Regular Law Breaker in his book. Thomas puffed sadly away. Sir Topham Hatt was having breakfast he was eating toast and marmalade. The butler came in.
 * Butler: Excuse me, sir, you're wanted on the telephone.
 * Sir Topham Hatt: Bother that telephone!
 * Ringo Starr: Said Sir Topham Hatt.
 * (Phone chattering)
 * Sir Topham Hatt: I'm sorry, my dear.
 * Ringo Starr: He said to his wife.
 * Sir Topham Hatt: Thomas is in trouble with the police and I must go at once.
 * Ringo Starr: At the station, Thomas' driver told Sir Topham Hatt what had happened.
 * Sir Topham Hatt: Dangerous to the public indeed. We'll see about that.
 * Ringo Starr: Sir Topham Hatt spoke to the policeman. But however much he argued with him it was no good.
 * Policeman: The law is the law.
 * Ringo Starr: He said.
 * Policeman: And we can't change it.
 * Ringo Starr: Sir Topham Hatt felt exhausted.
 * Sir Topham Hatt: I'm sorry, driver.
 * Ringo Starr: He said.
 * Sir Topham Hatt: It's no use arguing with the policeman. We will have to make those cowcatcher things for Thomas I suppose.
 * Thomas: Everyone will laugh, sir.
 * Ringo Starr: Said Thomas.
 * Thomas: They say I look like a tram.
 * Ringo Starr: Sir Topham Hatt stared, then he laughed.
 * Sir Topham Hatt: Well done, Thomas. Why didn't I think of it before? We want a tram engine. When I was on my holiday, I met a nice little engine called Toby. He takes freight cars from the farms but the trucks have taken most of his work and he needs a change. He has cowcatchers and sideplates. I'll write to this superintendent at once.
 * Ringo Starr: A few days later, Toby arrived.
 * Sir Topham Hatt: That's a good engine.
 * Ringo Starr: Said Sir Topham Hatt.
 * Sir Topham Hatt: I see you brought your coach Henrietta.
 * Toby: You don't mind, do you, sir?
 * Ringo Starr: Asked Toby.
 * Toby: The stationmaster wanted to use her as a hen house, and that would never do.
 * Sir Topham Hatt: No indeed.
 * Ringo Starr: Said Sir Topham Hatt.
 * Sir Topham Hatt: We couldn't allow that.
 * Ringo Starr: Toby made the silly cars even better than Thomas did.
 * Policeman: Oi you!
 * Ringo Starr: At first, Thomas was jealous, but he was so pleased when Toby rang his bell and frightened the policeman, they've been firmed friends ever since.

George Carlin version

 * George Carlin: There's the line to a quarry at the end of Thomas' branch. It goes to some distance along the road. Thomas was very careful to whistle here in case anyone was coming. Early one morning, a large policeman was sitting close to the line. Thomas liked policemen. He had been a great friend of the officer who had just retired.
 * Thomas: Peep! Peep!
 * George Carlin: He whistled.
 * Thomas: Good morning.
 * George Carlin: Thomas expected that the new officer would be friendly too. But was sorry to see that he didn't look friendly at all. He was red in the face and very cross.
 * Policeman: Disgraceful!
 * George Carlin: He spluttered.
 * Policeman: I didn't sleep a wink last night. It was so quiet, and now engines come whistling suddenly behind me.
 * Thomas: I'm sorry, sir.
 * George Carlin: Said Thomas.
 * Thomas: I only said good morning.
 * George Carlin: The policeman pointed to Thomas.
 * Policeman: Where's your cowcatchers?
 * George Carlin: He asked.
 * Thomas: But I don't catch cows, sir.
 * Policeman: Don't be funny.
 * George Carlin: Snapped the policeman. He looked at Thomas' wheels.
 * Policeman: No side plates either.
 * George Carlin: And he wrote in his notebook.
 * Policeman: Engines going on public roads must have their wheels covered and a cowcatcher in front to protect people and animals from being dragged under the wheels if they stray under the line. You haven't so you are dangerous.
 * Driver: Rubbish.
 * George Carlin: Said Thomas' driver.
 * Driver: We've been along here hundreds of times and never had an accident.
 * Policeman: That makes it worse.
 * George Carlin: The policeman answered. He wrote Regular Law Breaker in his book. Thomas puffed sadly away. Sir Topham Hatt was having breakfast he was eating toast and marmalade. The butler came in.
 * Butler: Excuse me, sir, you're wanted on the telephone.
 * Sir Topham Hatt: Bother that telephone!
 * George Carlin: Said Sir Topham Hatt.
 * (Phone chattering)
 * Sir Topham Hatt: I'm sorry, my dear.
 * George Carlin: He said to his wife.
 * Sir Topham Hatt: Thomas is in trouble with the police and I must go at once.
 * George Carlin: At the station, Thomas' driver told Sir Topham Hatt what had happened.
 * Sir Topham Hatt: Dangerous to the public indeed. We'll see about that.
 * George Carlin: Sir Topham Hatt spoke to the policeman. But however much he argued with him it was no good.
 * Policeman: The law is the law.
 * George Carlin: He said.
 * Policeman: And we can't change it.
 * George Carlin: Sir Topham Hatt felt exhausted.
 * Sir Topham Hatt: I'm sorry, driver.
 * George Carlin: He said.
 * Sir Topham Hatt: It's no use arguing with the policeman. We will have to make those cowcatcher things for Thomas I suppose.
 * Thomas: Everyone will laugh, sir.
 * George Carlin: Said Thomas.
 * Thomas: They say I look like a tram.
 * George Carlin: Sir Topham Hatt stared, then he laughed.
 * Sir Topham Hatt: Well done, Thomas. Why didn't I think of it before? We need a tram engine. When I was on my holiday, I met a nice little engine called Toby. He takes freight cars from the farms but the trucks have taken most of his work and he needs a change. He has cowcatchers and sideplates. I'll write to this superintendent at once.
 * George Carlin: A few days later, Toby arrived.
 * Sir Topham Hatt: That's a good engine.
 * George Carlin: Said Sir Topham Hatt.
 * Sir Topham Hatt: I see you brought your coach Henrietta.
 * Toby: You don't mind, do you, sir?
 * George Carlin: Asked Toby.
 * Toby: The stationmaster wanted to use her as a hen house, and that would never do.
 * Sir Topham Hatt: No indeed.
 * George Carlin: Said Sir Topham Hatt.
 * Sir Topham Hatt: We couldn't allow that.
 * George Carlin: Toby made the silly cars even better than Thomas did.
 * Policeman: Hey you!
 * George Carlin: At first, Thomas was jealous, but he was so pleased when Toby rang his bell and frightened the policeman, they've been firmed friends ever since.