Compliment

=Compliment Wiki= Mark Twain once said, "I could live for a week on a compliment." We all enjoy getting complements. Studies have shown that compliments boost our self-esteem, increase our confidence, and improve relationships. People are perceived as being more popular and well-liked when they give compliments So why is it so impossible to give them? Many books and articles over the years have tried to tackle this question, without coming to any sort of resolution or even consensus. This Wichita is designed to be a hub for all research on the science and art of compliments. Our end goal is to come up with a comprehensive list of instructions and techniques that can be used to teach anyone how to improve the quality of their lives through giving honest, sincere, heart-felt compliments to those live and work with.

The Prime Directive of Compliment-giving
When similar Wikis have been created in the past, they were almost universally rejected for teaching people give superficial, insincere, contrived compliments that were neither accurate nor honest. These types of 'compliments' have been proven to harm relationships because they are artificial and contrived. And so we have come up with the Compliment Prime Directive: [i]"All compliments must be sincere, accurate and honest."[/i] This axiom is considered to be the most important rule of compliment-giving because if it is not followed, compliments will come off sounding superficial, insincere and artificial, and in the end will ultimately harm the relationships they take place in. Although we wish to emphasize the importance of this directive, we do not want to make it seem overly complicated or difficult to follow. Another way of stating it would be to say that we should "mean what you say and say what you mean." Compliments can be powerful expressions that can enhance any relationship, but they must be sincere to be effective.

Major Issues in Compliment-giving
There are many barriers that keep people from giving sincere, honest compliments to those around them. A few are listed below: Lack of creativity: Sincere compliments require a high level of creativity, which not everyone has access to. Timing: Many heart-felt compliments are 'spoiled' because the are given at the wrong time. Machismo: Social norms dictate that men should not give compliments to other men or else they will sound effeminate. Norms also dictate that men should not give compliments to women unless they are attempting to express sincere romantic interest. Obliviousness: Some of us go through life being completely unaware of all the skilled, talented people who improve out lives on a daily basis. One of the first steps to giving compliments involves becoming aware of your environment.

Anatomy of a Compliment
The process of giving compliments begins long before they are verbalized. Below are the basic components of a compliment, in chronological order: [b]Awareness:[/b] Before a person can give a compliment, they need to be aware of the talents and positive attributes of those around them. [b]Recognition:[/b] Compliments begin to take shape when the complimenter recognizes a positive attribute in another person. [b]Refinement:[/b] Before a compliment makes the journey of a few inches from the brain to the mouth, it must be revised and refined until it is appropriate for the setting and the relationship. [b]Delivery:[/b] Finally, after a compliment has been formed and refined, it can now be expressed. Compliments ought to be expressed only at appropriate times in the conversational process. [b]Follow-up:[/b] Most compliments do not end once they are expressed. After a compliment is given, the person giving the compliment must maintain a level of consistency that shows that the compliment expressed was sincere and not just something that was made up on the spur of the moment.

Types of Compliments
Conversational Compliments: The first and most basic type of compliment takes place during the course of an ordinary conversation. After it is given it may become the focus of the conversation, or it may be acknowledged and then passed over. Stand-alone Compliments: A stand-alone compliment is one that is given at a time when a conversation is not taking place. These types of compliments can often generate an atmosphere of awkwardness, but if properly executed can be very effective. Drive-by Compliments: In the course of a normal conversation, people will sometimes throw out a compliment, and then continue on with the conversation as if nothing had happened. These types of compliments can be effective in expressing sincere appreciation and admiration without the added burden of having to defend and justify the sincerity of the compliment.