Discord's Ghostly Christmas (Cheese Sandwich and Friends episode)

Discord's Ghostly Christmas is a double-length episode from the nineteenth season of Cheese Sandwich the Earth Pony and Friends. It is a parody of the Thomas and Friends episode, Diesel's Ghostly Christmas.

Part One

 * Cheese Sandwich as Thomas
 * Sonic (from Sonic) as Edward
 * Pinkie Pie as Emily
 * Discord as Diesel
 * Niblet (from Pound Puppies) as Salty
 * Silver Shill as Paxton
 * Cranky Doodle Donkey as Cranky
 * Princess Celestia as Sir Topham Hatt
 * Flash Sentry as James (cameo)
 * Spike as Percy (cameo)
 * Dr. Hooves as Toby (cameo)
 * Diamond Tiara as Annie (cameo)
 * Silver Spoon as Clarabel (cameo)

Part Two

 * Cheese Sandwich as Thomas
 * Gizmo as Whiff
 * Lickety Split as Scruff
 * Discord as Diesel
 * Silver Shill as Paxton
 * Princess Celestia as Sir Topham Hatt
 * Spike as Percy (does not speak)
 * Bulk Biceps as Rocky (does not speak)
 * Flash Sentry as James (cameo)
 * Pinkie Pie as Emily (cameo)
 * Niblet (from Pound Puppies) as Salty (cameo)
 * Diamond Tiara as Annie (cameo)
 * Silver Spoon as Clarabel (cameo)
 * Doc Top as Mr. Percival (cameo)
 * Mayor Mare as Dowager Hatt (cameo)
 * Princess Luna as Lady Hatt (cameo)

Part One
Narrator: "Christmas is the busiest time of the year for the animals of Ponyville. There are more passengers, and more deliveries than at any other time of the year."

Sonic: "Merry Christmas, Cheese Sandwich! All ready for Star Swirl the Bearded's grand Christmas lunch tomorrow?"

Cheese Sandwich: "Not yet, Sonic. I have to take these singers to their rehearsal, and then, take all those changelings up to the castle."

Sonic: (Chuckles) "You are busy, Cheese Sandwich."

Cheese Sandwich: "Oh dear. Hello, sir. Merry Christmas!"

Princess Celestia: "I'm afraid I'm not feeling very merry at the moment, Cheese Sandwich. I'm suppose to be at the docks. But I twisted my ankle, so I can't drive. Oh! Would you be able to take me instead?"

Cheese Sandwich: "Oh. I'd love to help, princess. But I have to take the singers to their rehearsal, and then changelings up to..."

Princess Celestia: "Oh, well. Don't mind me, then."

Cheese Sandwich: "But if one of my friends can help me, princess, I'm sure I can help you."

Princess Celestia: "Whooaa!" (Falls down onto a cart)

Cheese Sandwich: "Merry Christmas, Discord!"

Discord: "Huh! What reason have we to be merry?"

Cheese Sandwich: "I was wondering if you'd help me."

Discord: "No, Cheese Sandwich! I can't help you. I'm busy."

Cheese Sandwich: (Sighs) "Discord is as helpful as a chocolate firebox."

Pinkie Pie: (Humming Deck the Halls)

Cheese Sandwich: "Pinkie Pie!"

Narrator: "Luckily, Pinkie Pie was happy to help Cheese Sandwich. So he was able to take Princess Celestia to the docks."

Cranky: "Hurry up with that cart, Niblet! These chains are coming loose."

Niblet: "Arr! My body's frozen. I can't make it to you in time."

Cranky: "Whoa! Discord, help me! You need to push that cart under that path."

Discord: "I don't need to do anything. I've got enough jobs to do without helping you do yours!"

Cranky: "Whoa!"

Niblet: "Arr! Shiver me timbers! The tree!

Arr!"

(Tree falls on Niblet)

Discord: "Whoops!"

Cranky: "If you've been bothered to help, Discord, this never would have happened."

Discord: "That's not my problem."

Niblet: "But Discord, Christmas is a time for good will."

Discord: "Huh, Bah Humbug!"

Narrator: "At last, the huge Christmas tree was loaded onto a cart for Silver Shill to deliver to the castle."

Silver Shill: "Oh, that's a big one. I think I might need some help."

Cheese Sandwich: "Oh, maybe Discord can help you. He doesn't have anymore changelings."

Discord: "Oh! I told you I'm busy!"

Cheese Sandwich: (Sighs) "Discord!"

Narrator: "Silver Shill set off for the castle. But the huge tree was rolling around so much, the chains were coming loose. And with no back animal to see what was happening, there was nobody to warn Silver Shill."

Silver Shill: "Ahhh!"

(Crash!)

Silver Shill: "Ow!"

Children: "Merry Christmas!"

Discord: "Bah Humbug!"

Silver Shill: "Discord, you came to help after all."

Discord: "No I didn't! One of those other animals that likes being helpful will be along soon enough."

Silver Shill: "But... but... ah."

Cheese Sandwich: "Silver Shill, are you okay?"

Silver Shill: "Yes, I'm fine. Just a bit off the path, that's all."

Cheese Sandwich: "That path looks like it'll need some repairs. But, was that Discord who just went by?"

Silver Shill: "Yes, but I think Discord must be very busy today, Cheese Sandwich."

Cheese Sandwich: "I'd like to find a way to teach that unhelpful Discord just what being helpful is all about."

Narrator: "That evening, when Discord returned, he found the creature works mysteriously deserted."

Discord: "Hello? Hello? Where is everybody?

Okay, you can stop messing around now."

(Light comes on)

Discord: "Ahh! What's that?"

Pinkie Pie (In a ghostly voice): "Oooooooh!"

Discord: "Ahhhh! Who's there?"

Pinkie Pie (In a ghostly voice): "Oooooooh! I'm a wise ghost. And I'm here to warn you to stop being such an unhelpful draconequus."

Cheese Sandwich (Whispering): "I think we need more steam."

Discord: "Just go away!"

Pinkie Pie (In a ghostly voice): "You shall be visited by three more ghosts before Christmas. Oooooooh! Princess Celestia says she needs you to go to the docks tonight, or you'll be in big trouble."

Discord: "Big trouble?"

Pinkie Pie: (Giggles) "This plan of yours is a great plan, Cheese Sandwich."

Cheese Sandwich: (Giggles)

Narrator: "Discord raced quickly into the docks. He had been scared by the ghost, and didn't like the sound of being in even more trouble."

Discord: "Sir? Are you here, sir?"

Cranky: (Snores)

Discord: "Ahh! Cranky, was that you?"

Cranky: (Snores)

Discord: (Gulps)

Niblet: "Whoooooo!

Whoooooo! I am the Ghost of Christmas Past!"

Discord: "I, I should go. I think Cheese Sandwich needs my, my help at the yards."

Niblet: "Arrr! You help Cheese Sandwich? When was the last time you helped someone, Discord?"

Discord: "Well..."

Niblet: "Arrr! Let's go back and see, shall we? Whoooooo! Arrr!

You weren't helpful that time you pushed those changelings into the sea, were you?

And, you weren't helpful when you spilled milk on Princess Celestia either.

And, you definitely were not helpful when you refused to move the cart yesterday. Poor old Niblet! Poor old Niblet!"

Discord: (Screams)

Niblet: "So, how did poor old Niblet do? Whooooo!"

Cranky: "Spooooky."

Niblet and Cranky: (Laugh)

Niblet: "Spooky indeed!"

Part Two
Discord: "Come on, Discord. You must have been hearing things. There's no such things as..."

Silver Shill: "Oooooooh! Oooooooh!"

Discord: "Ghosts. Oh no!"

Silver Shill: "Oooooooh! Oooooooh! Oooooooh! I am the Ghost of Christmas Present."

Discord: "No, you're not! There's no such things as ghosts."

Silver Shill: "Then I must be good at pretending.

You shouldn't be hiding, Discord. You should be out there enjoying the extra jobs Christmas brings."

Discord: "Huh! Enjoying? Why would I enjoy doing extra work?"

Silver Shill: "Because that's the way to make others happy, of course. Close your eyes, Discord, and think."

Discord (while closing his eyes): "Hmm."

Silver Shill: "Think of the smiles on people's faces when they see the twinkling lights and sing Christmas songs.

And think of the laughter and fun as they enjoy their presents.

Oooooooh! And think of the face of Princess Celestia as she eats her Christmas pudd...

Discord?"

Discord: "Ghosts aren't real! Ghosts aren't real! Ghosts aren't real!" (Screams) "Ghosts aren't real!"

Narrator: "Discord was in such a hurry that he didn't see the damage road where Silver Shill had come off."

Discord: (Screams)

(Crash)

Discord: "Help! Help! Help! Help!"

Cheese Sandwich: (Gasps)

Discord: "Cheese Sandwich, is that you? Have you come to help me?"

Cheese Sandwich: "Sorry, Discord, but I'm far too busy. It's nearly morning, and I have lots of jobs to do. Today is Star Swirl's grand Christmas lunch."

Discord: "Cheese Sandwich, wait."

Gizmo: "Are you sure about this, Cheese Sandwich?"

Cheese Sandwich: "Yes. Pile it on, Gizmo!"

(Garbage falls on Cheese Sandwich)

Lickety Split: (Chuckles) "I can't tell it's you."

Cheese Sandwich: "Perfect! That's the idea." (Chuckles)

Discord: (Sniffs) "What's that, that smell?"

Cheese Sandwich: "Ooooooh!"

Discord: "Help! Somebody! Anybody!"

Cheese Sandwich (In a ghostly voice): "I am the Ghost of Christmas Future!"

Discord: (Cries) "Oh no! This is the worst Christmas ever!"

Cheese Sandwich (In a ghostly voice): "If you think this is the worst Christmas, let me tell you what your future Christmases will be like.

If you don't start helping others, others will stop helping you. And you'll be left alone! Alone forever! Forever!"

Discord: "Help.

Help. I don't want to be left alone."

Narrator: "Meanwhile, up at the castle, Star Swirl was getting ready for all the guests to arrive."

Star Swirl the Bearded: "Merry Christmas, Spike! Presents over there, please.

The choir is here. Marvelous!

Fa la la la la la la la la!

And the food for the lunch. But where are all the guests?"

Discord: "Cheese Sandwich, have you come to help?"

Cheese Sandwich: "Yes, Discord. Of course I have. I couldn't just abandoned a creature who had just come off the path."

Discord: "Oh, thank you, Cheese Sandwich! Thank you! Thank you!

I'm as light as a feather. I'm as merry as a school boy!"

Cheese Sandwich: (Laughs)

Discord: "If there's anything I could do to help you, just let me know and I'll do it."

Cheese Sandwich: "Really? Do you honestly mean that, Discord?"

Discord: "Yes, Cheese Sandwich, I do mean it, I do." (Gasps) "I could take Bulk Biceps back to the rescue center."

Cheese Sandwich: "Thanks, Discord. That would really help. I'm already late to take the guests to Star Swirl's Christmas lunch."

Narrator: "Finally, Cheese Sandwich arrived at the town hall to pick up the passengers. He was in such a race to get to the castle that one important passenger got left behind."

Princess Celestia: "Huh? Wait for me!"

Narrator: "Discord had taken Bulk Biceps back to the search and rescue center, and was feeling very pleased with himself."

Discord: "I never thought I'd say it, but it feels good to be helpful. Yes, it feels..."

Princess Celestia: "Ohhhhh!"

Discord: "Oh no! Not another ghost!"

Hotiy Toity: "Ohhhhh! My ankle."

Discord: "Princess? Shouldn't you be at the castle?"

Princess Celestia: "Yes, but I have no way of getting there."

(Discord has an idea)

Choir: "Oh what fun it is to ride in a one horse open sleigh, hey! Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way! Oh what fun it is to ride in a one horse open sleigh!"

Star Swirl the Bearded: "Cheese Sandwich!"

Cheese Sandwich: "Merry Christmas, sir!"

Star Swirl the Bearded: "Welcome to my grand Christmas lunch! But where's Princess Celestia?"

(Discord arrives with Princess Celestia)

Princess Celestia: "Room for one more?"

Star Swirl the Bearded: "Let the grand Christmas lunch begin!"

(Everyone cheers)

Discord: "Those ghosts were right. It is quite nice to be helpful, and see everyone happy."

Silver Shill: "Well done, Cheese Sandwich! Your plan worked. Discord is now a really helpful draconequus."

Cheese Sandwich: "Merry Christmas, Discord!"

Discord: "Merry Christmas, Cheese Sandwich! Merry Christmas, everyone!"

(Everyone laughs)