Muppets/The Grouch Song (from The Adventures of Elmo in Grouchland soundtrack)

Cast

 * Rizzo the Rat as Elmo
 * Zondra as Grizzy
 * Sam the Eagle as Oscar the Grouch

Lyrics
Zondra: (spoken) So, Rizzo, what do you think it takes to be a grouch? Rizzo the Rat: (spoken) Well, Rizzo can sing about it, Zonda. Zondra: (spoken) I can't wait to hear this. Sam the Eagle: (spoken) This could be a mistake.

Rizzo the Rat: If you wake up in the morning mean and grumpy And you frown at ev'rybody that you see

Zondra: If you like your oatmeal nice and cold and lumpy

Rizzo the Rat: (spoken) Not Rizzo!

Zondra and Sam the Eagle: Then you're a grouch like me

Rizzo the Rat: Oh, what's else, Zondra?

Zondra: If you love it when it's wet and cold and raining

Rizzo the Rat: (spoken) Oh, Rizzo does!

Zondra: And the music that you like is all off key! La, la, la!

Rizzo the Rat: If you're happiest whenever you're complaining

Sam the Eagle: Oh, brother!

Zondra and Sam the Eagle: Then you're a grouch like me

Rizzo the Rat: (spoken) Like Zondra. (singing) If you hate it when your grandma kisses you

Sam the Eagle: (spoken) Eeewww!!!!

Rizzo the Rat: You know what?

Sam the Eagle: (spoken) What?

Rizzo the Rat: Rizzo too.

Sam the Eagle: (spoken) Mmmmm.

Zondra: If you love to see a garbage truck roll by

Rizzo the Rat: (spoken) Oh, yeah.

Zondra: You know what, kid?

Rizzo the Rat: What?

Zondra: So do I!

Sam the Eagle: (spoken) Me too.

Rizzo the Rat: And if you think a great big pile of trash is pretty

Sam the Eagle: (spoken) Pretty awful.

Zondra: And that ice cream is yucchy as can be

Rizzo the Rat: Yuck, yuck, yuck!

Sam the Eagle: If you just can't stand a cuddly little kitty. Heh, heh, heh!

Zondra and Sam the Eagle: Then you're a grouch like me

Rizzo the Rat: (spoken) And Sam!

Sam the Eagle: (spoken) Heh, heh, heh, heh!

Rizzo the Rat: (spoken) Yes, yes!

Zondra: (spoken) You know, Rizzo, I think you're getting the hang of it, but I don't think you could be a grouch.

Rizzo the Rat: (spoken) Why not?

Zondra: (spoken) Well, look at you! You're so sweet!

Sam the Eagle: (spoken) Yeah!

Zondra: (spoken) And cute! Oh, Sam. Look at this. He's dancing.

Sam the Eagle: (spoken) He's dancing?

Zondra: (spoken) Yeah, dancing.

Sam the Eagle: (spoken) Stop dancing!

Zondra: And if you think a great big pile of trash is pretty

Sam the Eagle: (spoken) Pretty disgusting.

Rizzo the Rat: And that ice cream is yucchy as can be

Sam the Eagle: (spoken) Blech!

Rizzo the Rat and Sam the Eagle: And if you can't stand a cuddly little kitty

Zondra: (spoken) Bleah!

Sam the Eagle: And you'd like to chase her up the nearest tree

Rizzo the Rat: (spoken) Sam!

Zondra and Sam the Eagle: Then you're a grouch like me

Rizzo the Rat: (spoken) Sam, what did you think of Rizzo's grouchiness?

Sam the Eagle: (spoken) Why, it was awful!

Rizzo the Rat: (spoken) Thank you, Sam! A grouch like Rizzo! Have a rotten day! Heh, heh, heh, heh!

Sam the Eagle: (spoken) Now that's my boy! Heh, heh, heh, heh!