Thomas the Tank Engine's Mighty Jolly Jokes

"Hello I'm Thomas the Tank Engine. I have found over 100 jokes at least. Here are my jokes and other engines had jokes too"

My jokes

T: I seem to have a blue tank, sir

ST: Is there any blue tack in there?

Q:What do you get if you cross my name with a ship?

A: The same name!

Q: What do you get if you cross an engine with an enemy?

A: Enegine! It sounds like energy which all steamies have!

Q: What do you call a train that eats toffee?

A: A chew, chew train.

Q: My brother has the same name as my colour and I took away the 'l' so what's his name?

A: Boo! Does he scare me to death?

Harold's Jokes

Q: What wobbles when it flies?

A: A jellicopter!

Q: Why are many helicopters called Hellie?

A: Hellie was a name named after HELLIEcopters!

Duck's Jokes

D: Sir, I think I got some ducks in my tanks!

ST: Ala orange, I'll eat your tanks.

Q: Why are Oliver and I so great?

A: We're so GREAT Western!

Q: What do you get if you cross me with water?

A: Duckpond

The Fat Controller's Jokes

Q: Which jam can't I put on my bread?

A: Traffic jam!

ST: Toasty marshmellows on camping!

T: Did you put them on toast?

ST: Good news, honey!

LH: What are you talking about? You can't eat me!

Diesel's Jokes (very rude)

D: Would you blame someone for something they hadn't done?

ST: Of course not!

D: Good, I haven't done my dirty work!

Q: Why did Winnie the Witch stick her head down the toilet?

A: To look for her brother Winnie the Pooh!

Q: Why did Winnie the Witch stick her head up Winnie the Pooh's bottom?

A: To scrape all the poo out so his name was just called Winnie!

T: I found out about the bloody tower were they cut your head off!

D: Shut up! You're swearing!

D: Hello Gordon!

G: Shut up Diesel!

D: I can't shut up, I'm not a door!

Toby's Jokes

Q: What do you get if you cross a toe with a bee?

A: Toby!

D: I didn't know bees had toes!

T: I don't think they do!

D: You're a bee and you have toes because your name is Toby!

Edward's Jokes

Q: Why did the one hand man cross the road?

A: To get to the second hand shop!

E: I'm probably second hand!

Q: What do you get if you cross my name with an egg?

A: Eggward!

Duke's Jokes

Dun: Why is ya name so juicy?

D: What are you talking about?

Dun: Ya name is Juke!

D: It starts with D!