TV/Thomas Parody 12: Hisses & Sneezes

Cast

 * B.J. (from Barney & Friends) as Henry
 * Cartman (from South Park) as Gordon
 * Yoshi (from Mario) as Percy
 * Barney (from Barney & Friends) as Edward
 * Sir Handel (from Thomas & Friends) as Henry's Driver
 * Peter Sam (from Thomas & Friends) as Henry's Fireman (cameo)
 * Mr. Marsh (from South Park) as Sir Topham Hatt

Transcript

 * Narrator: Eric Cartman was cross.
 * Cartman: Why should BJ have a brighter yellow color?
 * Narrator: He grumbled.
 * Cartman: A color good enough for me is good enough for him. He goes gallivanting off to the hospital, leaving u to do his work, and comes back saying how happy he feels. It's disgraceful. And there's another thing: BJ hisses too much. No respectable TV character ever hisses loudly at stations. It isn't wrong, but we just don't do it.
 * Narrator: Poor BJ didn't feel happy anymore.
 * Yoshi: Never mind.
 * Narrator: Whispered Yoshi.
 * Yoshi: I'm glad you're home again. I like your whistling.
 * Cartman: Goodbye, BJ.
 * Narrator: Called Cartman.
 * Cartman: We're glad to have you with us again. But remember what I said.
 * Narrator: Later, BJ stopped at Barney's station.
 * Barney: Hello, BJ.
 * Narrator: Said Barney.
 * Barney: You look splendid. I was pleased to hear your happy whistle yesterday.
 * BJ: Thank you, Barney.
 * Narrator: Smiled BJ.
 * BJ: (hears hisses) Shh, shh. Can you hear something?
 * Barney: It sounds like Eric Cartman.
 * Narrator: Said Barney.
 * Barney: And it ought to be Cartman. But Cartman never hisses like that.
 * Narrator: It was Cartman. He came rushing down the street of a tremendous rate. He didn't look at BJ and he didn't look at BJ. He screamed straight through the station and disappeared.
 * Barney: Well.
 * Narrator: Said Barney.
 * BJ: It isn't wrong.
 * Narrator: Chuckled BJ.
 * BJ: But we just don't do it.
 * Narrator: And he told Barney what Cartman had said.
 * Narrator: Meanwhile, Cartman screeched along the road. The noise was awful.
 * Narrator: At the station, everyone covered their ears. Randy Marsh covered his ears too.
 * Randy Marsh: Take him away!
 * Narrator: He bellowed.
 * Randy Marsh: And stop that noise!
 * Narrator: Cartman walked sadly away. But he wouldn't stop hissing until two fitters climbed up and slapped him gently.
 * Narrator: That night, Cartman slunked into the house. He was glad it was empty.
 * BJ: It isn't wrong.
 * Narrator: Murmured BJ to no one in particular.
 * BJ: But we just don't do it.
 * Narrator: No one mentioned whistles.
 * Narrator: Next morning, BJ was enjoying himself enormously.
 * BJ: I feel so well, I feel so well.
 * Narrator: He sang.
 * Carts: Trickety-trock, trickety-trock.
 * Narrator: Hummed his carts.
 * Narrator: Then he saw some boys on a bridge.
 * BJ: (whistles) Hello.
 * Narrator: He whistled.
 * BJ: Ohh.
 * Narrator: He called. The boys didn't wave and take his hat. They thought it fun to drop stones on him instead.
 * Cat: They've broken our fronts, they've broken our fronts.
 * Narrator: Sobbed the carts.
 * Narrator: The passengers weren't hurt, but they were cross.
 * Passengers: Call the police!
 * Sir Handel: No.
 * Narrator: Said Sir Handel.
 * Sir Handel: Leave it to BJ and me.
 * Passengers: What will you do?
 * Narrator: They asked.
 * Passengers: Can you keep a secret?
 * BJ: Yes, yes.
 * Sir Handel: Well then.
 * Narrator: Said Sir Handel.
 * Sir Handel: BJ is going to sneeze at those boys.
 * Narrator: Lots of people were at the station just before the bridge. They wanted to see what would happen.
 * Sir Handel: BJ has plenty of ashes.
 * Narrator: Said Sir Handel.
 * Sir Handel: Please keep all windows shut until we haved passed the bridge. BJ's is excited as we are. Aren't you, old fellow?
 * Narrator: BJ felt more stuffed up than excited. Soon, they could see the boys. And they all had stones.
 * Sir Handel: Are you ready, BJ?
 * Narrator: Said Sir Handel.
 * Sir Handel: Sneeze hard when I tell you.
 * Sir Handel: Now.
 * Narrator: He said.
 * BJ: Ah-choo, shoo.
 * Sir Handel: Well done, BJ.
 * Narrator: Laughed Sir Handel.
 * Narrator: BJ went home, very pleased with himself. He had taught Cartman and some silly boys a lesson, with a hiss and a sneeze.