Family Guy Tall Stories

Family Guy Tall Stories is the season 9 premiere of Family Guy.

Plot
Chris gathers the Griffins around for his Imagine-what-will-life-be-look-like Machine.

Raiders of the Lost Griffin
First it's Peter's turn. Shortly after returning to America to the college where he teaches archeology, Peter is informed by two Army intelligence agents that the Nazis, in their quest for occult power, are searching for his old mentor, Abner Ravenwood. Ravenwood is in possession of the headpiece of an artifact called the Staff of Ra and is the leading expert on the ancient Egyptian city of Tanis. Peter deduces that the Nazis are searching for the Ark of the Covenant, the biblical chest built by the Israelites to contain the fragments of the Ten Commandments, that is said to grant the power of God to whoever holds it. The Staff of Ra, meanwhile, is the key to finding the Well of Souls in Tanis, which is where the Ark is buried. The agents subsequently authorize Indiana to recover the Ark with the promise of displaying it in a museum. Indiana travels to Ravenwood's tavern in Nepal for the headpiece, only to find that he has died and that the headpiece is in the possession of his daughter and Peter's embittered former lover, Marion. The tavern is suddenly raided by a group of thugs commanded by Nazi agent Major Toht. The tavern is burned down in the ensuing fight, during which Toht burns his hand on the searing hot headpiece as he tries to grab it. Peter and Marion escape with the headpiece, with Marion declaring she will accompany Peter in his search for the Ark so she can repay his debt.

Peter and Marion travel to Cairo where they learn from Sallah, Peter's friend and a skilled digger, that the Nazis are currently digging for the Well of Souls with the aid of Belloq and a replica of the headpiece modeled after the scar on Toht's hand. In a bazaar, Nazi operatives kidnap Marion and fake her death in front of Peter, which strengthens his resolve to find the Ark. That evening, while deciphering the markings on the headpiece, Peter and Sallah realize that the Nazis have miscalculated where to dig for the Well of Souls (only the front side of the headpiece was burned into Toht's hand, so the Nazis did not know about the markings on its back side). Using this to their advantage, Peter and Sallah infiltrate the Nazi dig and use the Staff of Ra to correctly determine the location of the Well of Souls. Shortly afterward, Peter gathers a small group of diggers and uncovers the Well of Souls, which is filled with venomous snakes. After Indiana obtains the Ark, Belloq and the Nazis arrive to take it for themselves. They proceed to toss Marion, who is alive, but had refused to reveal any information to the Nazis, down into the well with Indiana and seal them both in. However, Peter and Marion manage to navigate the underground temple and escape. After a grueling fist fight with a huge German mechanic, blowing up a flying wing ready for shipping the treasure to Germany and chasing down a convoy of trucks holding the Ark, Peter manages to take it back before it can be shipped to Berlin.

Peter and Marion leave Cairo to escort the Ark to England on board a tramp steamer. The next morning, their boat is boarded by the Nazis who once again steal the Ark and kidnap Marion. Indiana stows away on the Nazis' U-boat and follows them to an isolated island where Belloq and the Nazis plan to test the power of the Ark before presenting it to Adolf Hitler. Peter reveals himself and threatens to destroy the Ark with a rocket launcher, but Belloq calls his bluff for, as archaeologists, they both want to see it opened.

Peter surrenders and is tied to a post with Marion as Belloq performs a ceremonial opening of the Ark, which appears to contain nothing but sand; possibly the ruined remnants of the Ten Commandments. Suddenly, spirits emerge from the Ark; aware of the supernatural danger of looking at the opened Ark, Indiana warns Marion to close her eyes. The apparitions suddenly morph into demonic creatures. Lightning bolts begin flying out of the ark, killing the Nazis. The fires rise into the sky, then fall back down to Earth and the Ark closes itself with a crack of thunder.

Back in Washington, D.C., the Army intelligence agents tell a suspicious Peter that the Ark "is someplace safe" to be studied by "top men". In reality, the Ark is sealed in a wooden crate labeled "top secret" and stored in a giant government warehouse (later revealed in Crystal Skull to be located at Area 51) filled with countless similar crates.

Chucky
It's Stewie's turn to ask. While being chased by Detective Mike Norris (Chris Sarandon), Charles Lee "Chucky" Ray, a serial killer known as "The Lakeshore Strangler" (Brad Dourif), is shot and mortally wounded. Before dying, Charles takes cover inside a toy store, finding boxes of "Good Guy" dolls and uses a voodoo ritual to transfer his soul into one of the dolls. The store is then struck by lightning and it burns to the ground.

Later that morning, 6-year-old Andy Barclay (Alex Vincent) tells his widowed mother Karen Barclay (Catherine Hicks) that he wants a Good Guy doll for his birthday after watching a TV commercial for it. Unable to afford the full price, Karen buys a stolen doll from a street peddler, which is the same doll into which Chucky had earlier transferred his soul.

That night, as Andy is playing with the doll (who has introduced himself as "Chucky" through the talking feature of the doll), Karen's friend, Maggie Peterson (Dinah Manoff), who is babysitting Andy, scolds him for turning on the evening news and placing Chucky in front of the TV. When Andy tries to tell Maggie that he did not put Chucky in front of the TV, she doesn't believe him. Maggie is then viciously struck with a toy hammer and falls out of the apartment window, falling several stories to her death. The killer's identity is left ambiguous. Andy, when questioned, insists that Chucky has revealed himself to be alive and that he killed Maggie, though he defends Chucky's decision by stating that Chucky told him that "Maggie was a real bitch" and that she "got what she deserved".

The next day, Andy, apparently upon Chucky's request, visits the house of Eddie Caputo (Neil Giuntoli), Chucky's accomplice, who had betrayed him and which led Charles Lee Ray to his death. Chucky is revealed as being alive. He sneaks into Eddie's house and blows out the pilot light on the stove and turns up the gas; Eddie, in panicked self-defense, fires his gun and the house explodes, killing him.

Later, authorities place Andy in a psychiatric ward after he is found near the crime scene. Karen believes the doll to be the culprit after she realizes that his batteries had never been put in and she threatens to throw him into the fireplace unless he reveals himself to her. Chucky comes alive in her hands, bites her and runs out of the apartment. She contacts Detective Norris, who is now investigating Maggie's death. Although he initially doubts her story, the homeless man who sold Karen the doll confirms that he retrieved it from the burnt down toy store where Charles Lee Ray was killed. Norris becomes a firm believer after he is attacked by Chucky in his car and survives only by shooting the doll.

Chucky later meets with John Simonsen, his voodoo instructor from years past, and asks why his gunshot wound bled. John, under torture via voodoo doll, informs him that his body is slowly conforming to that of a human's and that he will soon be trapped in the body if he does not transfer his soul into the body of the first person he revealed himself to, which is Andy. Offhandedly remarking that he will "get to be six years old again," Chucky stabs the voodoo doll in the chest and leaves John to die. Karen and Detective Norris, following leads from Charles Lee Ray's case file, find John as he lay dying and receive instructions on how to kill Chucky; although Chucky is a doll, his heart is fully human and vulnerable to fatal injury.

Andy escapes from the psychiatric unit and Chucky brutally kills the head doctor (Jack Colvin) in the process. The authorities believe Andy killed the doctor while escaping. Mike and Karen rush back to the apartment hoping that Andy is there. Chucky reaches the apartment where Andy is and knocks him unconscious with a baseball bat to steal his soul. After a prolonged struggle, Chucky is thrown into the fireplace by Karen and is lit on fire by Andy after he throws the match in the fireplace.

Andy and Karen, thinking Chucky is dead, go to help the injured Mike Norris. After Andy gets the first aid kit from under the sink, he discovers Chucky is gone. Very burnt but alive, Chucky chases after Andy and Karen, who barricade themselves in the bedroom; Karen shoots him several times, missing his heart, but scattering his head, an arm and a leg in the hallway. After Norris' partner, Jack Santos, arrives, the scattered doll parts attempt to attack at the instructions of Chucky's screaming, severed head. Karen, remembering John's last words, tells Mike to shoot Chucky in the heart. Norris does so and makes a direct hit, killing Chucky.

An ambulance arrives to take Mike to the hospital. Karen and Jack help Mike walk out the door, but Andy stays and looks over the remains of Chucky. Karen returns and leads Andy out of the room and turns off the lights. Andy turns to look at Chucky one last time before leaving.

I, Refereniplonerator
At last, it's Brian's turn to ask, The Griffins use reverse fosilisation to turn Brian into a human, Brian grows hair, fingers and toes. After a short period of adaptation, Brian's self-control is overwhelmed by his new senses of taste, touch and emotional responses, and goes on a sensory input binge.

A week later, at the Town Hall judging, Adam West presents Brianwho has become a thousand-pound overweight blob. The committee initially condemns West, but Brian begs them to consider his new lifestyle. The open-minded scientists spend the night in a state of wild hedonism to the tune of Conga. Just before dawn, the committee awards Brian with the Judge prize but discover that Brian died shortly after the party started with a cholesterol level of 40 pounds, a failing liver and a heart pulse of 300 (beats a minute).

Trivia/Goofs

 * The Raiders of the Lost Griffin segement is a parody of Raiders of the Lost Ark.
 * The Chucky segement is based on the Child's Play character by the same name.
 * The I, Refereniplonerator segement is a parody of I, Robot
 * Brian's transforming is a Family Guyized version of the Frankenstein films.
 * The clothes the Human Brian wears (except his remaining collar) is a white t shirt, brown pants and black runners.