SpongeBob and Patrick Story (Transcript)

This article is a transcript of the first SpongeBob SquarePants and Finding Nemo Crossover film, "SpongeBob and Patrick Story", which aired on September 8, 2012.
 * Narrator: Ah, the first day of spring Bikini Bottom. The flowers of grooming. The rainbows are... bowie. The jellyfish are buzzing (flowers goes on SpongeBob's house) and it's time for the tradition...
 * SpongeBob: SPRING CLEANING!! Guess what time of year it is Gary?
 * Gary: Meow! (Gary meowing in pain)
 * (SpongeBob singing while using Gary as a vacuum cleaner to clean up his house)
 * SpongeBob: Thanks for your help Gar!
 * Gary: Meow!
 * Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob!
 * SpongeBob: Hi, Patrick. How's your spring cleaning going?
 * Patrick: It's spring cleaning day?? Why didn't anybody tell me?? (Patrick runs through his pile of junk to get ab ear cleaner) Found it! Thanks for the reminder, SpongeBob! (Patrick cleans his belly button) See ya again next spring. Whatcha got in your trash can? Huh! You're throwing this away!!?? The wrapper of the gum I gave you yesterday!!??
 * SpongeBob: Oh yeah..
 * Patrick: Gosh! Some people just don't understand santimental value. (Patrick gasps) You're throwing away Pete!!?? You can't part with a keepsake! That's why you keep them for pete's sake!! I'm disgusted! It's time to revalue your priorities. (Patrick walks away)
 * SpongeBob: Hmm? Maky Patrick is right ass of these do hold precious memorys..
 * (scene cuts to the Krusty Krab)
 * SpongeBob: (singing) Mop, mop, mop, mopping, mopping, mopping, moooopping moooopping mooppinng!
 * Squidward: SpongeBob! (Frank comes in and brings him a dollar) Why don't you mop you way over the kitchen. We need another Krabby Patty.
 * SpongeBob: Sure thing. (SpongeBob walks to make a Krabby Patty. He puts a patty in a tomato and he adds too much mustard on it. Mr. Krabs opens the hot shelter and smells mustard.)
 * Mr. Krabs: What's that?
 * SpongeBob: (puts on the last bun) Perfection.
 * Mr. Krabs: I don't think so. (He grabs a Krabby Patty and sees mustard.) You use too much mustard!
 * SpongeBob: But, Mr. Krabs I...
 * Mr. Krabs: You obciously you didn't use hydronic mustard gage. (Mr. Krabs uses a spoon and scoops some mustard. Mr. Krabs gasps and is only 101% seeds. You think mustard grows from seeds!!?? Oh, and this list all me broken... 411 years!
 * SpongeBob: Really?
 * Mr. Krabs: Your skills are rusty, you're not uses your sharpself! Did you have breakfast this morning?
 * SpongeBob: Yes, I had a cup of sea kelp and a neptune muffin.
 * Mr. Krabs: Hmm... what would about sleep, young man. Did you get enough sleep?
 * SpongeBob: I did go to bed 2 minutes later usual.
 * Mr. Krabs: That's it!! You're insomniac!!!
 * SpongeBob: Insomni-what?
 * Mr. Krabs: You're a person who can't sleep and you can't get enough sleep! Your mind starts to go! (SpongeBob gasps) Here. (takes SpongeBob the grabs him to the grill) Come on! Now, cook! (SpongeBob starts to flip patties, but Mr. Krabs caught him flipping a patty.) I knew it!!! You lift it a patty from one side, instead of straight up! What are you trying to do, sabotage me?! (takes a spatula and puts him outside) Now, you go home and get some rest!
 * SpongeBob: Oh, but sir I can't work miss work at the Krusty Krab.
 * Mr. Krabs: Miss work?! If you keep making mistakes like that, boyo and will be no Krusty Krab!
 * SpongeBob: No Krusty Krab??!!
 * Mr. Krabs: That's right! Now, get!
 * SpongeBob: Yes, sir. (walks away)
 * Mr. Krabs: Come back for sake tomorrow, after a good night sleep!
 * (scene cuts to SpongeBob crying)
 * Patrick: There, there, SpongeBob. No need to cry.
 * (SpongeBob pops off Patrick's shoulder)
 * SpongeBob: Yes there is, Patrick. Sandy's been gone for 2 whole days!
 * Patrick: 2 whole days?! (tears pour out of his eyes like a hose as he begins to wail)
 * SpongeBob: Oh, why'd she have to go to that science convention in Texas?
 * Patrick: Texas!
 * SpongeBob: (sniffles, looks at his watch) She won't be back for 1 more hour, 26 minutes and 47 seconds.
 * Patrick: Oh, 47 seconds! (SpongeBob and Patrick cry tears in each other faces) I miss Sandy so much. Her tentacles, the way she plays clarinet - her massive nose! (a nose like Squidward's pop onto his face)
 * SpongeBob: Patrick, that's Squidward. (Patrick's Squidward-like nose disappears) He's not gone, he right here. (pan over to Squidward planting a flower)
 * Squidward: No, I'm not. (drops the flower into the ground and walks into his home, slamming the door behind him)
 * SpongeBob: I sure do miss that squirrel. Her karate chopping, that ten gallon glass dome over her dome. And who can forget those buck teeth? (his buck teeth show sparkling) After Sandy gets back, we're gonna let her known just how much we miss her!
 * Patrick: Yeah!
 * SpongeBob: Onward... to Squidward's house.
 * Squidward: Go away!
 * SpongeBob: To Sandy's house. (scene cuts to Sandy's house) Hey, Sandy, you gotta see this. (bunch of inventions are torn up inside the treedome) Sandy? What's going on here? Sandy, are you okay? (Sandy shudders) What's wrong Sandy?
 * Sandy: They're coming. They're coming. The chimps are coming.
 * SpongeBob: Who?
 * Sandy: My bosses. They're coming for an inspection.