Character Mix/Tit Willow (from The Muppet Show)

Cast

 * Pepe's Purple Passion (from Muppet nail polish) as Rowlf the Dog
 * Owl (from Winnie the Pooh) as Sam the Eagle

Lyrics
( Pepe's Purple Passion plays the piano. Owl looks over a piece of sheet music.)

Owl: Uh, so what do I do here?

Pepe's Purple Passion: Oh, Owl, you just play the part of the bird. I mean, it's not written for an eagle, but uh …

Owl: Well, is this cultural?

Pepe's Purple Passion: Oh, yeah. This is light opera. Gilbert and Sullivan.

Owl: Mm. Begin.

Pepe's Purple Passion: On a tree by the river, a little tomtit sang … Uh, this is your part, Owl.

Owl: (reading) Willow … tit willow … tit willow.

Pepe's Purple Passion: And I said to him, "Dickeybird …" See, that - that's you, Owl. You play the part of the dickeybird. "Why do you sit, singing …"

Owl: (gives him a blank look) Dickeybird? (nods, sighs) Willow … tit willow … tit willow.

Pepe's Purple Passion: "Is it weakness of intellect, birdie?" I cried … Not meaning you, Owl.

Owl: Mm. Yes, yes.

Pepe's Purple Passion: "Or a rather tough worm in your little inside?" With a shake of his poor little head, he replied …

Owl: Uh, willow … tit willow … tit willow.

Pepe's Purple Passion: Mm-hm. Now I feel just as sure as I'm sure that my name isn't …

Owl: Willow, tit willow, tit willow.

Pepe's Purple Passion: That 'twas blighted affection that made him exclaim…

Owl: (aside) You wanna do this? (catches up) Uh, willow, tit willow, tit willow.

Pepe's Purple Passion: And if you remain callous and obdurate, I …

Owl: What's "obdurate"?

Pepe's Purple Passion: I don't know, Owl. Shall perish as he did, and you will know why. Though I probably shall not exclaim as I die … This is the last one, Owl.

Owl: Willow … tit willow … tit willow. … Why are they laughing?

(laughing)