The Nutcracker nail polish/Waiting at the Church (from The Muppet Show)

Cast

 * Toying with Trouble as Miss Piggy
 * Envy the Adventure as Kermit the Frog

Lyrics
(Dressed as a pregnant, jilted bride, Toying with Trouble takes the stage and sings.)

Toying with Trouble: I'm in a nice bit of trouble, I confess; Somebody with me has had a game. I should by now be a proud and happy bride, But I've still got to keep my single name. I was proposed to by Obediah Binks In a very gentlemanly way; Lent him all my money so that he could buy a home, And punctually at twelve o'clock to-day… There was I, waiting at the church, Waiting at the church, waiting at the church; When I found he'd left me in the lurch, Lord, how it did upset me!

(She signals for Envy the Adventure . He enters.)

Toying with Trouble: All at once, he sent me round a note Here's the very note, this is what he wrote…

Envy the Adventure: "Can't get away to marry you today, My wife, won't let me!"

Toying with Trouble: Very good, Envy the Adventure.

Envy the Adventure: Uh, thank you, but it's just a song, you know, I don't have a wife.

Toying with Trouble: Mmm-hmm. Not yet.

Envy the Adventure: I don't intend to have one, either.

Toying with Trouble: Are you ready?!

Envy the Adventure: Uh, yes.

Toying with Trouble: Ahem!

(They do one more chorus.)

Toying with Trouble and Envy the Adventure : There was I, waiting at the church, Waiting at the church, waiting at the church.

Toying with Trouble: When I found he'd left me in the lurch, Lord, how it did upset me!

Envy the Adventure: Woo, hoo.

Toying with Trouble: All at once, he sent me round a note

Envy the Adventure: Here's the very note...

Toying with Trouble: ...this is what he wrote…

Toying with Trouble and Envy the Adventure : "Can't get away to marry you today, My wife, won't let me!"

(Applause.)

Envy the Adventure: Now will you take that silly pillow out from under your dress?

Toying with Trouble: (aggressively) I like it! ( Envy the Adventure backs away)