Thomas/The Pond Parody Transcripts: Big Mouth Diesel Railcar

These are some transcripts of one of the Thomas/The Pond parody episodes.

Transcript (Episode Version)

 * (Thomas and Percy are playing ping-pong.)
 * Thomas: Take that!
 * (The ball falls onto the main line.)
 * Thomas: Ha! 20 19!
 * Percy: Great playing, my friend. This is the best I've ever played, and I still might lose.
 * Thomas: I was a tad best. Not bad when you remember tank engines shunt thousands of trucks at a time.
 * (Thomas and Percy look at the ping-pong ball.)
 * Percy: Hey, I have an idea, you get this one.
 * Thomas: Oh no, I'm not going there. Grab another.
 * Percy: She's got the others. She's got all our toys.
 * Thomas: Well, you know the rules: you lost the points, you go get the ball, and better hurry.
 * Percy: Not a chance! I forfit!
 * Thomas: Let's go know we're running short on time here! No forfitting!
 * Percy: It's too dangerous!
 * Thomas: Come on!
 * Percy: Sorry, my friend. No game is worth risking what lurks on the seemingly empty main line.
 * Thomas: If that were a chocolate cupcake?
 * Percy: I would fall into the smelting pit. But not a ball. Not a ball without frosting anyway.
 * Thomas: Ehh...
 * (Thomas chuffs on the main line.)
 * Thomas: I'll win the match legitimatelly, even if I lose some buffers in the process.
 * Percy: (worried) I shouldn't have let him go on there.
 * (When Thomas chuffs towards the ball, a green diesel zooms past him.)
 * Thomas: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!
 * Percy: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!
 * Thomas: Why does she do that?
 * (The diesel pushes the ball into her shed.)
 * Percy: I guess there's no winner today.
 * Thomas: I beg to differ. What else can we play with?
 * Percy: She has all the ping pong balls.
 * Thomas: Got any hot candy?
 * Percy: Candy is not a toy! I would rather eat a ping pong ball than play with candy. You know, a ping pong ball dipped in chocolate doesn't sound half bad. But she still has them all.
 * James: I'm next! Who won?
 * Percy: Hi, James.
 * James: Hi, Percy!
 * Thomas: I won!
 * Percy: You were ahead. Barely.
 * Thomas: But the ball went on the line.
 * James: She got it?
 * Thomas: Yes. Nearly got my bufferbeam this time too.
 * James: Guys, we need to try to talking to her. It's only right. I mean, maybe she takes our toys because she needs them.
 * Thomas: For some truck orphanage?
 * James: My point is, we can't just complain about someone without going to them.
 * Percy: James has got a point. It's only right.
 * Thomas: You go right ahead, James. Talk to her.
 * James: I can't. I'm a steam engine. I can't breathe in the scent of diesel oil while trying to hold reasonable conversations.
 * Thomas: That's okay. I don't think she does reasonable.
 * Percy: I'm not talking to her! She scares me!
 * Thomas: She scares us all.
 * James: It's gotta be you, Thomas. You're the best talker in the bunch.
 * Thomas: No way!
 * James: You see, I can go without ping-pong. I like to read books.
 * Percy: I like dessert. I don't need to compete. Dessert fills that need.
 * Thomas: This is not working! Much.
 * James: I lose in games all the time anyway. This will be a nice break from humiliation.
 * Percy: Thomas beats me nine times out of ten.
 * James: Well, that's over now.
 * Percy: Phew! I think I like this new life.
 * Thomas: Alright! I'm going!
 * James: You are?
 * Thomas: I am. I've had enough. If I'm not back in five minutes, have your driver throw a toy on the main line. She'll leave me alone if she thinks she can get it.
 * (Thomas puffs onto the main line.)
 * James: He's crazy.
 * Percy: Yeah, but he's our crazy.
 * (Thomas got to the diesel's shed. The diesel was Daisy, and she wasn't happy at all.)
 * Daisy: Well, what do we have here?
 * Thomas