Spike Meets the Queen and Other Stories

Spike Meets the Queen and Other Stories is a My Little Pony/Thomas parody of the Thomas and Friends US video, Thomas Meets the Queen and Other Stories. It features six fourth season episodes of Spike the Dragon and Friends narrated by George Carlin and one song.

Cast

 * Spike as Thomas
 * Shining Armor as Edward
 * Big Macintosh as Henry
 * Chief Thunderhooves as Gordon
 * Cranky Doodle Donkey as James
 * Pipsqueak as Percy
 * Braeburn as Toby
 * Noteworthy as Stepney
 * Gilda as Daisy
 * Woody (from Toy Story) as Skarloey
 * Buzz Lightyear (from Toy Story) as Rheneas
 * Hamm (from Toy Story) as Sir Handel
 * Rex (from Toy Story) as Peter Sam
 * Mr. Potato Head (from Toy Story) as Duncan
 * Randolph as Duke
 * Zecora as Caroline
 * Hoity Toity as Sir Topham Hatt
 * Parcel Post as Tom Tipper
 * Slinky (from Toy Story) as Rusty (does not speak)
 * Soarin as Duck (cameo)
 * Night Light as Donald (cameo)
 * Dr. Whooves as Oliver (cameo)
 * Apple Bloom as Annie (cameo)
 * Sweetie Belle as Clarabel (cameo)
 * Scootaloo as Henrietta (cameo)
 * Tank as Toad (cameo)
 * Featherweight as Terence (cameo)
 * Garble as Bulgy (cameo)
 * Cherry Jubilee as The Refreshment Lady (cameo)
 * Everyone else as Themselves

Episodes

 * 1) Mind That Bike
 * 2) Pony Stops Play
 * 3) Spike Meets the Queen
 * 4) Bulls Eyes
 * 5) Special Head
 * 6) Four Little Toys

Song

 * 1) The Equestria Song

Mind That Bike
Narrator: "If one day you were to travel with Angel the Rabbit, you would run down the winding country road with him, cross over stone-walled bridges, and travel past Spike's route.

Then, you would hear Angel's friendly greeting as he sees one of his friends pass by.

His name is Parcel Post, the Postpony.

Every day, Parcel Post travels cheerfully around Ponyville.

He stops at stations, collecting letters and parcels from Spike and Pipsqueak's mail bags.

Then, he delivers the mail to farms and cottages far and wide.

The animals know that anywhere their roads won't reach, Parcel Post will collect their mail and deliver it safely, come rain or shine.

He's always ready to load mail bags for Spike and Pipsqueak, too."

Pipsqueak: "Thank you, Parcel Post."

Narrator: "Whistles Pipsqueak."

Spike: "Yes, indeed."

Narrator: "Agrees Spike."

Spike: "You're a really useful postpony."

Parcel Post: "Ah,"

Narrator: "Replies Parcel Post."

Parcel Post: "But where would I be without me van? We make a grand pair."

Narrator: "One day, Parcel Post wasn't at the platform. A postman they didn't know dumped the bags on the platform and disappeared."

Pipsqueak: "What happened to Parcel Post?"

Narrator: "Wondered Pipsqueak."

Pipsqueak's Driver: "And his old van?"

Narrator: "Said his driver."

Pipsqueak's Driver: "No wonder the new postman looks cross. Trying to carry mail bags on a bicycle would make anyone miserable."

Narrator: "Next morning, the animals were glad to see Parcel Post back again. But he looked very sad."

Parcel Post: "The postmaster decided my van was too expensive to run. The rounds take longer on my bike. I'm sorry, I can't stop to help you."

Pipsqueak: "I wish I could cheer Parcel Post up."

Narrator: "Sighed Pipsqueak. He was just wondering about how this might be done, when his thoughts were rudely interrupted. A man was shouting at Parcel Post."

Man: "You've got to come back to Hoity Toity's office. He needs you to sign some important papers right away."

Parcel Post: "Oh, dear."

Narrator: "Replied Parcel Post."

Parcel Post: "This is going to make me later still!"

Narrator: "He was in a hurry, and being careless. He propped his bike against Pipsqueak's mail bag and rushed away."

Pipsqueak: "Stop!"

Narrator: "Cried Pipsqueak. But Parcel Post was out of sight. There was worse to come. Pipsqueak's driver hadn't seen the bike and he started away."

Pipsqueak: "Oh, no!"

Narrator: "Cried Pipsqueak."

Pipsqueak: "Now there'll be trouble!"

Narrator: "And there was. Pipsqueak's driver quickly stopped.

Everyone came running to the scene. Parcel Post's bicycle was in pieces!"

Pipsqueak: "I'm sorry, Parcel Post!"

Narrator: "Apologized Pipsqueak."

Parcel Post: "Never mind, Pipsqueak."

Narrator: "Said Parcel Post."

Parcel Post: "It wasn't your fault. But now I've only my legs to get the mail delivered. Whatever will happen next?"

Narrator: "Parcel Post soon found out. Next day, he was waiting happily for Pipsqueak."

Pipsqueak: "Peep peep!"

Narrator: "Whistled Pipsqueak."

Pipsqueak: "Is that a smart new van I see?"

Parcel Post: "It is indeed. That accident did me a good turn, Pipsqueak. My chief decided a new van would do the job, much better than another bike and worth the expense. Now I can always be on time again."

Pipsqueak: "So I did help."

Narrator: "Beamed Pipsqueak."

Pipsqueak: "But by accident, you might say."

Pony Stops Play
Narrator: "Noteworthy the Music Pony was busy talking to the other animals. It was his first visit to their town and he was having a splendid time."

Noteworthy: "You are very lucky animals."

Narrator: "He said."

Noteworthy: "Your town has got everything. It's long enough to give you a good run, and you have plenty of passengers. Then you have a quarry and a mine, so you'll need plenty of changelings. Changelings are fun. I missed them on our line."

Narrator: "Pipsqueak was surprised. All the animals thought changelings were trouble."

Pipsqueak: "You're welcome to take some of mine."

Narrator: "He said."

Pipsqueak: "But you better ask driver first."

Narrator: "They're drivers agreed and the two ponies set off.

Spike and Braeburn were speechless.

Noteworthy took the changelings to the harbor. Then he picked up a load of empty ones and started back.

Ahead was a cricket field. The game had just began. Noteworthy and his driver had to wait at a signal."

Noteworthy's Driver: "Good."

Narrator: "Said his driver."

Noteworthy's Driver: "We can watch the game."

Narrator: "Then, there was trouble. The batsman hit the ball. It flew high in the sky towards Noteworthy. "Clunk" went the signal. "Thump" went a ball onto a changelings. But neither driver nor fireman heard it."

Players: "Stop!"

Narrator: "Yelled the players. But Noteworthy didn't hear them."

Noteworthy: "Come along. Come along."

Narrator: "He puffed to the changelings."

Players: "Our one and only ball."

Narrator: "Cried the players."

Players: "Wake up, Zecora."

Narrator: "They said to their zebra."

Players: "The chase is on."

Narrator: "Zecora coughed crossly and rolled down the road.

Noteworthy wasn't hurrying. Zecora soon came up behind."

Zocora: "Toot. Toot."

Narrator: "She wailed. The players shouted but Noteworthy was still too far for his driver and fireman to see or hear properly. They completely misunderstood."

Noteworthy's Driver: "If those jokers want a race,"

Narrator: "Said the driver."

Notworthy's Driver: "They can have one. Faster, Noteworthy! Faster!"

Narrator: "Poor Zecora wasn't happy at all. She rattled along at twice her usual speed."

Zecora: "I shouldn't be treated like this."

Narrator: "She grumbled."

Zecora: "This pace it too hot for me. It'll fuse all of my body."

Narrator: "Suddenly, Noteworthy was nowhere to be seen."

Zecora: "Yahoo! That silly pony has run into a hole so we can't catch it. I can go home now."

Narrator: "But she couldn't. Her driver pounded Zecora on up the steep hill, and then down the other side towards the station. Noteworthy was already there and Zecora cluttered in."

Players: "We need our ball back."

Narrator: "Cried the players and explained everything.

The ball was with the third changeling from the end of the line."

Player: "We found it."

Narrator: "Cried a player."

Noteworthy's Driver: "We're sorry."

Narrator: "Said the driver."

Player: "Ah, you couldn't help it."

Narrator: "Replied the player."

Player: "Now, we must get back quickly."

Noteworthy's Driver: "You'll be lucky."

Narrator: "Said the driver."

Noteworthy's Driver: "Zecora looks worn out."

Narrator: "And she was. The driver spoke to the stationmaster and the signalman and they all agreed on the plan.

Soon they put Zecora onto a wagon and a trailer coupled behind. The players crowded inside and Noteworthy took them back to the playfield.

Everyone enjoyed watching the game. Even Zecora was pleased."

Noteworthy: "She doesn't think ponies silly now."

Zecora: "They have their uses. They can save the wear on a poor zebra's foot."

Spike Meets the Queen
Narrator: "Chief Thunderhooves the Buffalo and Spike the Dragon walked together back home. It had been a busy day.

First, Spike had teased Chief Thunderhooves about the time the big buffalo had slid into a ditch.

Then, Spike fell down a mine. And Chief Thunderhooves came to his rescue."

Chief Thunderhooves: "Remember Spike,"

Narrator: "Called Chief Thunderhooves grandly."

Chief Thunderhooves: "United we stand, together we fall. You help me, and I'll help you."

Spike: "I'll remember."

Narrator: "Replied Spike."

Spike: "But I hope Hoity Toity forgives us soon."

Narrator: "Suddenly, they noticed something. As the two animals whistled into the sheds, everywhere they look, they saw paint pots and painters."

Spike: "Bust my scales!"

Narrator: "Said Spike."

Spike: "What's happening?"

Pipsqueak: "Shhh."

Narrator: "Whispered Pipsqueak."

Pipsqueak: "Hoity Toity is going to tell us now."

Hoity Toity: "Ladies and gentlemen and animals, I am honor to inform you that her majesty, the Queen herself is coming here to visit us. Now, on with the preparations."

Narrator: "The animals wondered who would pull the royal cart."

Shining Armor: "I'm too old to pull important carts."

Narrator: "Said Shining Armor."

Chief Thunderhooves: "I'm in disgrace."

Narrator: "Sighed Chief Thunderhooves."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "He'll choose me, of course."

Narrator: "Boasted Cranky."

Big Macintosh: "You?"

Narrator: "Snorted Big Macintosh."

Big Macintosh: "You can't climb hill! He'll ask me to pull the cart, and I'll have some new fur."

Narrator: "Then, the rain came.

Big Mac's driver and fireman covered up to keep dry. A painter was on the ladder above the road. Big Mac's dust blew high into the air. The painter couldn't see. Both and the painter pot fell all over Big Mac.

Poor Big Mac."

Painter: "Well, you're not a pretty picture!"

Narrator: "Sneered the painter.

Hoity Toity spoke next."

Hoity Toity: "You look like an iced cake, Big Mac. That won't do for the royal cart. I must make other arrangements."

Narrator: "Chief Thunderhooves and Spike were waiting for him."

Chief Thunderhooves and Spike: "Please, sir."

Hoity Toity: "One at a time."

Narrator: "Replied Hoity Toity."

Hoity Toity: "Yes, Chief Thunderhooves?"

Chief Thunderhooves: "May Spike have his route again?"

Hoity Toity: "Hmmm.

I think you are both sorry and deserve a treat. Shining Armor will go in front to clear the road, Spike will look after the carts and Chief Thunderhooves will pull the royal cart."

Narrator: "The great day came. All the animals worked hard bringing people to the town.

Spike sorted out their carts in the yard.

Shining Armor walked in."

Shining Armor: "Peep! The queen is here!"

Narrator: "Then, Chief Thunderhooves whistled as he approached the station. Everyone knew that sound.

The queen's cart glided into the station. Chief Thunderhooves was spotless, and his horns shown brightly.

Hoity Toity stood to attention."

Hoity Toity: "Welcome ma'am."

Narrator: "The queen thanked him for a splendid run, and asked to see all the animals."

Pipsqueak and Braeburn: "Peep, peep!"

Narrator: "Whistled Braeburn and Pipsqueak."

Big Macintosh and Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Shhh!"

Narrator: "Hissed Big Mac and Cranky. But Braeburn and Pipsqueak didn't care."

Pipsqueak and Braeburn: "Three cheers for the queen!"

All the Animals: "Peep, peep!"

Narrator: "Whistled the animals.

When it was time to leave, the queen spoke specially to Spike, who fetch her cart, then to Shining Armor, and finally to Chief Thunderhooves, who took her away.

No animals ever felt prouder than those in Hoity Toity's town."

Bulls Eyes
Narrator: "Braeburn the earth pony has a lasso. It helps to stop animals if they escape.

Gilda thought Braeburn's lasso was silly."

Gilda: "You're afraid of getting hurt yourself."

Narrator: "She flounced."

Braeburn: "I'm not!"

Narrator: "Huffed Braeburn."

Gilda: "Yes, you are! I don't have a stupid lasso, but I'm not frighten! I just roar, and they all come to me."

Braeburn: "But they don't."

Narrator: "Said Braeburn."

Gilda: "They would with me. Animals always listen if you roar and look them in the eye."

Braeburn: "Even bulls?"

Gilda: "Even bulls."

Narrator: "Said Gilda.

Gilda had never met a bull, but she purred away quite unconcerned

She roared at a farm crossing, and a horse and cart halted while she went by."

Gilda: "Pooh!"

Narrator: "She said."

Gilda: "It's easy. I just roar, and they all listen. Poor little Braeburn. I'm sorry he's frightened."

Narrator: "At the next station, a policeman was waiting."

Policeman: "There's a bull on the road."

Narrator: "He warned."

Policeman: "Please persuade it to return to the farmer."

Narrator: “Gilda was excited.”

Gilda: “Now,”

Narrator: “She thought.”

Gilda: “I’ll show Braeburn how to manage bulls.”

Narrator: “Champion isn’t really a fierce bull, but this morning he was cross. He'd strayed from his field, crash through a fence, slithered down a slope and now he didn’t know where he was.

Suddenly, he saw some grass.”

Champion: “Now for my breakfast.”

Narrator: “He thought.”

Gilda: “Grrrrr!”

Narrator: “Roared Gilda.”

Gilda: “Go on!”

Narrator: “Champion was too busy chomping to take any notice.”

Gilda: “Grrrrr!”

Narrator: “Said Gilda again. Champion kept grazing.”

Gilda: “This is all wrong.”

Narrator: “Thought Gilda.”

Gilda: “How can I look him in the eye if he won’t turn around?”

Narrator: “At last, he did.”

Champion: “Moo!”

Narrator: “Said Champion.”

Gilda: “Oh, oh, uh!”

Narrator: “Murmured Gilda.”

Gilda: “Why doesn't he run away?”

Gilda’s Driver: “Go on, Gilda!”

Narrator: “Said her driver.”

Gilda’s Driver: “He's harmless.”

Gilda: “Yes.”

Narrator: “Said Gilda unhappily.”

Gilda: “You know he’s harmless, and I know he's harmless. But does he know? Look at his horns. If I bump into him, he might hurt me, uh, them. Uh, the farmer wouldn’t like that.”

Narrator: “Champion sniffed at Gilda.”

Gilda: “Ew!”

Narrator: “Said Gilda, and that was that. Gilda did no more.

Braeburn was bemused and amused to see her back at the station so soon.”

Braeburn: “Bulls always listen if you roar and look them in the eye, eh Gilda?”

Narrator: “Gilda stayed silent.”

Braeburn: “Ah, well.”

Narrator: “Continued Braeburn.”

Braeburn: “We can live and learn. I'd better chase him away for you I suppose.”

Narrator: “He clanked away to find Champion.

Braeburn ranged his bell and blew his whistle, but Champion took no notice.

Then Braeburn kicked the ground loudly. That did the trick. Braeburn kicked a little more. And now breakfast over, Champion chuntered away to join the farmer.

Gilda was feeling exhausted. She was glad when her day's work was over. Some boys were on the platform.”

Boy: “Look Gilda!”

Narrator: “One teased.”

Boy: “I've got some sweets, they’re called Bulls Eyes. I like them, do you?”

Gilda: “Ah, keep your own bulls eyes!”

Narrator: “And Gilda scuttled to her house.”

Special Head
Narrator: "It was winter in Ponyville. Rex puffed nervously along the road. The top of his head had never been the same since his accident with some mutant toys. Now the biting wind was trying to blow it away."

Rex: "My head feels wobbly."

Narrator: "He complained."

Rex: "I wish manage would hurry up with my new one. He says it would be something special."

Woody, Buzz Lightyear, Hamm, Mr. Potato Head and Randolph: "You and your special head."

Narrator: "Laughed the others. They were fond of Rex, but his special head had become quite a joke.

The winter wind grew worst. The rain came too, turning hillside streams into torrents, which threatened to wash the road away.

Slinky, the slinky dog, worked hard carrying workmen up and down the road. They were removing branches and leaves so water could flow away.

But one morning, Slinky's driver brought bad news."

Slinky's Driver: "There's been a washout near the tunnel. The road has been swept away. We must repair the damage immediately."

Narrator: "The important work took longer than expected. As days went by, the weather changed. It became frosty and much colder."

The workmen finished at last. Rex was most careful as he took the morning fillies over the mended bit of road.

Soon, they approached the tunnel. It was short and curved. So his driver could not see right through it. Rex was heading for trouble."

Rex's Driver: "There's something hanging from the roof."

Narrator: "Shouted his driver. Rex came out of the tunnel a different looking toy. He no longer had the top of his head."

Conductor: "Here's what hit you, Rex."

Narrator: "Called the conductor. And he produced a thick, cold icicle. They set off again, but without the top of his head, the journey was very difficult.

Then, his fireman saw an old box lying beside the road."

Rex's Fireman: "We'll use that instead of the top of your head. At least, it'll help you."

Narrator: "Rex finished his journey with the box wired to his body.

The others laughed, and Hamm sang a song about it."

Hamm: "Rex said again and again, his new head will put ours to shame. Went into a tunnel and lost his old head. Now his famous new head's a box!"

Narrator: "The teasing continued until at last the day came when his new head arrived.

Hoity Toity proudly presented it."

Rex: "Oh dear! Someone's squashed it."

Narrator: "Said Rex. But Hoity Toity laughed."

Hoity Toity: "Don't worry, Rex. This head is something special indeed. You'll soon see."

Narrator: "Rex's new head had special pipes, which made pulling much easier."

Rex: "I feel stronger than ever before!"

Narrator: "He hummed. Even Hamm was impressed."

Hamm: "I can't understand it. Rex just seems to stroll along the road. He makes work look so easy."

Narrator: "The others don't laugh at Rex's head now. They wished they had one like it."

Four Little Toys
Narrator: "If you should visit a place that has a big play room and a beautiful waterfall, then you may also find two little toys called Woody and Buzz Lightyear. The toys know everybody and everybody knows them.

There are two more toys; Hamm and Rex.

One day, Hoity Toity sent Shining Armor to the works to be mended.

A big surprise awaited Shining Armor."

Shining Armor: "It's Woody! What's he doing here?"

Narrator: "Woody was pleased to see Shining Armor."

Woody: "I've been sent here for a rest."

Narrator: "He sighed."

Woody: "I was put on the shelf so I could see everything and not be lonely, but I do miss Buzz Lightyear; He's going to be mended. I wish I could be mended, too, and take fillies again."

Narrator: "Just then, some workmen arrived."

A Workman: "We're going to take you to the works now, Shining Armor. Come along."

Shining Armor: "Good-bye Woody. Your land's a lovely one."

Woody: "Oh, it is, it is. You've cheered me up, Shining Armor. Good-bye."

Narrator: "Meanwhile, Hamm was having trouble with some fillies. He tried to be kind, but the fillies didn't trust him; they were awkward and rude.

There was worse to come. Some careless sheep had strayed onto the path."

Fillies: "He's bumped us!"

Narrator: "Screamed the fillies."

Fillies: "Let's get back at him!"

Narrator: "They surged into Hamm and pushed him off the road.

No one was hurt, but Hamm limped sadly to the house."

Hamm's Driver: "No more work for you today."

Narrator: "Said his driver."

Hamm's Driver: "How are we going to take the fillies without a toy?"

Woody: "What about me, sir?"

Hamm's Driver: "Woody! Can you do it?"

Woody: "I'll try."

Narrator: "Said the old toy.

The fillies stood at the platform."

Woody: "I'm ashamed of you."

Narrator: "Scolded Woody."

Woody: "You might have hurt your passengers!"

Narrator: "The fillies quivered.

Fillies: "We're sorry, Woody."

Narrator: "The conductor blew the whistle, and the journey began.

Woody remembered all the gates and styles where he had to stop.

The sun shone, the road was dry."

Woody: "This is lovely!"

Narrator: "Sang Woody.

Presently, the road grew steep. Woody felt short of strength."

Woody's Driver: "Take your time."

Narrator: "Soothed his driver."

Woody: "It'll be better down hill."

Narrator: "Woody said to himself.

But it wasn't. His body was weak, and the road jarred his legs.

At last, a leg gave way."

Woody: "I feel all ripped!"

Narrator: "Cried Woody."

Woody's Driver: "We'll need a bus now for our passengers."

Narrator: "Sighed his driver."

Woody: "No!"

Narrator: "Pleaded Woody."

Woody: "I'll get them to the station or burst!"

Narrator: "Cranky Doodle Donkey was waiting at the platform. Clanging and clanking, Woody steamed in."

Woody: "I'll do it, I'll do it! I've done it!"

Narrator: "Cranky collected his passengers and respectively puffed away.

Everyone was pleased with Woody, but he was still worried."

Woody: "Old toys can't take fillies like the young ones can."

Woody's Driver: "They can if they're mended, old faithful."

Narrator: "Smiled his driver."

Woody's Driver: "And that's what's going to happen to you, you deserve it!"

The Equestria Song

 * Picture a land where the sky is so blue
 * A storybook land of wonder
 * A magical land just waiting for you
 * Land of Equestria will make your dreams come true


 * Imagine a place where the sun always smiles
 * The valleys are green as can be
 * The friends that you love are all waiting for you
 * Land of Equestria will make your dreams come true


 * Children follow the dream
 * To the land of make-believe
 * The Land of Equestria
 * A magical land where dreams come true


 * Follow the road that leads to your dream
 * Over the hills and mountains
 * Look for the skies with stars in their eyes
 * Land of Equestria will make your dreams come true


 * Children follow the dream
 * To the land of make-believe
 * The Land of Equestria
 * A magical land where dreams come true


 * The Land of Equestria
 * Magical land where dreams come true