Sesame Street nail polish/If You Were Gay (from Avenue Q)

Cast

 * I Love Trash as Nicky
 * Go Grover! as Rod

Lyrics
Go Grover!: Aah, an afternoon alone with My favorite book, "Broadway Musicals of the 1940s." No roommate to bother me. How could it get any better than this?

I Love Trash: Oh, hi Go Grover!!

Go Grover!: Hi I Love Trash.

I Love Trash: Hey Go Grover!, you'll never Guess what happened to Me on the subway this morning. This guy was smiling at me and talking to me

Go Grover!: That's very interesting.

I Love Trash: He was being real friendly, And I think he was coming on to me. I think he might've thought I was gay!

Go Grover!: Ahem, so, uh, why are you telling me this? Why should I care? I don't care. What did you have for lunch today?

I Love Trash: Oh, you don't have to get All defensive about it, Go Grover!...

Go Grover!: I'm NOT getting defensive! What do I care about some gay guy you met, okay? I'm trying to read.

I Love Trash: Oh, I didn't mean anything by it, Go Grover!. I just think it's something we should be able to talk about.

Go Grover!: I don't want to talk about it, I Love Trash! This conversation is over!!!

I Love Trash: Yeah, but...

Go Grover!: OVER!!!

I Love Trash: Well, okay, but just so you know — If you were gay That'd be okay I mean 'cause, hey I'd like you anyway Because you see If it were me I would feel free To say that I was gay (But I'm not gay.)

Go Grover!: I Love Trash, please! I am trying to read.... What?!

I Love Trash: If you were queer

Go Grover!: Ah, I Love Trash!

I Love Trash: I'd still be here

Go Grover!: I Love Trash, I'm trying to read this book.

I Love Trash: Year after year

Go Grover!: I Love Trash!

I Love Trash: Because you're dear to me

Go Grover!: Argh!

I Love Trash: And I know that you

Go Grover!: What?

I Love Trash: Would accept me too

Go Grover!: I would?

I Love Trash: If I told you today "Hey! Guess what I'm gay!" (But I'm not gay.) I'm happy Just being with you

Go Grover!: High Button Shoes, Pal Joey...

I Love Trash: So what should it Matter to me What you do in bed With guys?

Go Grover!: I Love Trash, that's GROSS!

I Love Trash: No it's not! If you were gay I'd shout hooray!

Go Grover!: I am not listening!

I Love Trash: And here I'd stay

Go Grover!: La la la la la!

I Love Trash: But I wouldn't get In your way.

Go Grover!: Aaaah!

I Love Trash: You can count on me To always be Beside you every day To tell you it's okay You were just born That way And, as they say It's in your DNA You're gay!

Go Grover!: BUT I'M NOT GAY!

I Love Trash: If you were gay.

Go Grover!: Argh!