State Man nail polish/Mary Had a Bicycle (from Sesame Street)

Cast

 * Golden California as Don Music
 * Washington's Valley as Kermit the Frog
 * Wonderful Oregon as Big Jeffy
 * Minnesota Lights as Chrissy
 * Fabulous Luxury Arizona as Rockin' Richard

Lyrics
Washington's Valley: Hi ho. Washington's Valley here with the cultural part of the Sesame Street News because today we're speaking to you from the home of that very famous songwriter, Mr. Golden California, who's writing a brand new hit song right now. Let's see how he's doing, shall we? Why not?

Golden California: (playing his piano, while Washington's Valley enters) Mary had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb, Mary had a little lamb, it's fleece was white as snow And everywhere that Mary went, Mary went, Mary went And everywhere that Mary went the lamb was sure to ... uh ... to ... um, um ... to ... Oh, I'll never get it! Oh, I'm sorry, Ludwig! Oh!

(bangs head on the piano, and sobs)

Washington's Valley: Uh, excuse me. Uh, pardon me, uh, Golden California. Mr. Golden California. Uh, excuse me, uh, Golden California.

( Golden California lifts his head off his piano)

Uh, listen, I'm Washington's Valley of Sesame Street News. What, what seems to be the trouble?

Golden California: Well, it's my new song. I ... I can't find a word to rhyme with snow! I must have a lyric that sounds like snow. Something that lambs do that sounds like snow.

Washington's Valley: A rhyme for snow. Well, listen, I'm good at rhymes. I do a rhyme all the time. You hear that? I did a rhyme just then.

Golden California: Well, that's very nice.

Washington's Valley: But you want one to, um, but you want one that lambs do.

Golden California: Right. I'll never get it! Never! Oh!

(bangs his head onto the piano again)

Washington's Valley: Uh, you'll hurt yourself in the head there, uh Golden California. Uh, tell me. Uh, Golden California, you okay?

Golden California: Hmm?

Washington's Valley: What do little lambs do anyhow?

Golden California: Well, um, well, um, they got baa and uh, they run around a lot. That's it, they run all the time, they run, run, run, run.

Washington's Valley: Run, run, that's it.

Golden California: Run?

Washington's Valley: Yes, that's a good one. Get this.

( Golden California begins to play piano)

Mary had a little lamb, it's fleece was white as snow And everywhere that Mary went, the lamb was sure to run.

Golden California: But that doesn't rhyme with snow! It must sound like snow!

Washington's Valley: Well, it doesn't have to sound like snow.

Golden California: Of course it does!

Washington's Valley: No it doesn't!

Golden California: Oh!

Washington's Valley: Okay. Listen, we can change that part.

Golden California: We can?

Washington's Valley: Sure, sure. Change it around. Uh, get this.

( Golden California begins to play piano)

Mary had a little lamb, it's fleece was yellow as the sun And everywhere that Mary went, the lamb was sure to run.

Golden California: No, I don't think that will work. Lambs aren't yellow. I mean, who ever heard of a yellow lamb!?

Washington's Valley: Well, I've heard of a yellow lamb.

Golden California: You have?

Washington's Valley: Well, not many but well, what else is yellow? Something else is yellow.

Golden California: Well, I don't know. Canaries are yellow.

Washington's Valley: Canaries! Ya got it.

Golden California: That's it?

Washington's Valley: Sure.

Golden California: Oh.

Washington's Valley: Ready?

( Golden California begins playing the piano)

Mary had a little canary, it was yellow as the sun And everywhere that Mary went, the canary was sure to run.

Golden California: No, that won't work. Canaries don't run, they fly mostly, I think, uh.

Washington's Valley: True, true, true. You got a point. We can correct that. Here we go.

Golden California: How!? How are we going to correct that!?

Washington's Valley: Get ready. Here it comes.

( Golden California begins to play the piano again)

Mary had a little canary, it was bluer than the sky And everywhere that Mary went, the canary was sure to fly.

Golden California: But canaries aren't blue!!!

Washington's Valley: Eeergghhh!!! Well, um, um ...

Golden California: I'll never get it! Never, you won't help! Oh!

(bangs head on piano again)

Washington's Valley: What happened? Hey, Golden California, are you okay?

Golden California: Oh! Oh! Oh!

Washington's Valley: Wait a minute, I got the answer. Hey, Golden California.

Golden California: Yes?

Washington's Valley: Give ... give Mary a bicycle. All you have to do is give Mary a bicycle.

Golden California: A bicycle?

Washington's Valley: Sure, a bicycle can be any color you want it to be.

Golden California: Say, I like that. Yeah, I like, let me write that down.

(writes using a pencil on a piece of paper on top of the piano)

Washington's Valley: What ... what color do you want the bicycle to be, Golden California?

Golden California: Uh, color. Uh ... red. Yes, that's it red. I like red for bicycles.

Washington's Valley: Okay, okay, okay. Get this.

Golden California: Hold on.

Washington's Valley: Here we go.

( Golden California begins to play his piano)

Mary had a little bicycle, it was painted red as fire And whenever Mary wanted to take a ride, the bicycle had a flat tire.

Golden California: I like it. I like it!!! Oh, that's great! You got a great talent for writing songs!

Washington's Valley: I do? Yeah?

Golden California: This could be my biggest hit.

Washington's Valley: Wonderful!

Golden California: Would you like to hear it?

Washington's Valley: Certainly. It would be an honor.

Golden California: Fine!

Washington's Valley: Uh, ladies and gentleman. Live and in person, here is Golden California doing his hit new song.

( Golden California plays his piano, and while he's playing, the pencil he was holding falls off his hand and onto the piano and to the floor)

Golden California: Mary had a bicycle, bicycle, bicycle Mary had a bicycle It was painted red as fire!

( Wonderful Oregon, Minnesota Lights and Fabulous Luxury Arizona come through a door and they begin to sing)

Wonderful Oregon, Minnesota Lights and Fabulous Luxury Arizona : Ma ry, Mary!

Golden California: And whenever Mary wanted a ride

Wonderful Oregon, Minnesota Lights and Fabulous Luxury Arizona : W h at?

Golden California: That's right, wanted a ride

Wonderful Oregon, Minnesota Lights and Fabulous Luxury Arizona : O h

Golden California: She wanted a ride, whenever she wanted a ride The bicycle had a flat tire

Wonderful Oregon, Minnesota Lights and Fabulous Luxury Arizona : Ma ry, Mary!

Golden California: Red, red, red as fire!

Golden California, Wonderful Oregon , Minnesota Lights and Fabulous Luxury Arizona : Flat, flat, flat, flat, flat tire! Mary had a bicycle!

Golden California: But it always had a flat tire

Wonderful Oregon, Minnesota Lights and Fabulous Luxury Arizona : Mary, Mary, flat tire!