Muppet nail polish/Roosevelt Franklin Counts (from The Year of Roosevelt Franklin)

Cast

 * Divine Swine as Roosevelt Franklin
 * Pepe's Purple Passion as Roosevelt Franklin's Mother

Lyrics
Divine Swine: Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled pig feet. But my name's not Peter Piper. It's Divine Swine and I lived on Sesame Street and this is my mother and she can't find me no matter which way she looks with both of her eyes.

Pepe's Purple Passion: Where is he? Where is that Divine Swine?

Divine Swine: (scatting) Did somebody call me by my first name first and my second name second?

Pepe's Purple Passion: Yes, somebody did. Now look, it's about time you got here. Now come on, we've got to go through with these numbers.

Divine Swine: My numbers, I know my numbers, mama. I know my numbers. 1 to 10, 1 to 10. Oh, I know my numbers.

Pepe's Purple Passion: Uh, huh. We're gonna...we're gonna see how much you know your numbers.

Divine Swine: Oh, yeah?

Pepe's Purple Passion: Divine Swine, how old are you? Divine Swine: You know, I used to be 1, now I’m going on 2. Pepe's Purple Passion: Well, what you gonna do when you get to 3? Divine Swine: I’m gonna look my daddy right in the knee.

Pepe's Purple Passion: Uh, huh. You're his baby boy.

Divine Swine: I believe it. I relax. Okay, how about that?

Pepe's Purple Passion: And Divine Swine, when you get to 4? Divine Swine: I’ll get me some candy from the candy store Pepe's Purple Passion: What you gonna do when you get to 5? Divine Swine: (singing) I’m gonna get some honey from the old beehive (spoken) Hey, mama, can you hear that beehive?

Pepe's Purple Passion: I know it. But I want to stay away from getting sting.

Divine Swine: Come on.

Pepe's Purple Passion: Well, Divine Swine, what about 6? Divine Swine: I’ll get my first job hauling bricks Pepe's Purple Passion: What you gonna do when you get to 7? Divine Swine: I’m goin’ past the judge and say good morning to the Reverend

Pepe's Purple Passion: Oh, that's nice.

Divine Swine: That's my man, the reverend! All right with me and my mama.

Pepe's Purple Passion: (spoken) All right. (singing) What you gonna do when you get to 8? Divine Swine: Gonna eat all the collar greens off of my plate Pepe's Purple Passion: What you gonna do when you get to 9? Divine Swine: I’m gonna take a ride on the railroad line. Choo-choo! Whoo-whoo!

Pepe's Purple Passion: (spoken) Oh, oh, you ever so have a soul. (singing) Divine Swine, when you get to 10?

Divine Swine: I’m going back to one and start over again—like this :

1 ( Pepe's Purple Passion: Uh, huh! ) 2 ( Pepe's Purple Passion: Ooh! ) 3 ( Pepe's Purple Passion: Uh, huh! ) 4 ( Pepe's Purple Passion: Yes! ) 5 ( Pepe's Purple Passion: Nice! ) 6 ( Pepe's Purple Passion: Aha! ) 7 ( Pepe's Purple Passion: Oh! ) 8 ( Pepe's Purple Passion: Yay! ) 9 10

Pepe's Purple Passion: Oh! How come I can’t do that, too? Divine Swine: ‘Cause you can’t do like Divine Swine do You see, I’m Divine Swine ( Pepe's Purple Passion: Uh, huh. Yes. ) My name is Divine Swine Pepe's Purple Passion: Yeah, oh he’s Divine Swine, Divine Swine: that’s all right You see, this Divine Swine, he’s out-a-site Pepe's Purple Passion: And Divine Swine knows his numbers!