Best of Cranky (Spike and Friends release)

Best of Cranky is a My Little Pony/Thomas parody of the Thomas and Friends US video, Best of James. It features three first season episodes, one second season episode and four third season episodes of Spike the Dragon and Friends narrated by George Carlin, and a song.

Cast

 * Spike as Thomas
 * Shining Armor as Edward
 * Big Macintosh as Henry
 * Chief Thunderhooves as Gordon
 * Cranky Doodle Donkey as James
 * Pipsqueak as Percy
 * Braeburn as Toby
 * Soarin as Duck
 * Filthy Rich as BoCo
 * Apple Bloom as Annie
 * Sweetie Belle as Clarabel
 * Buffaloes as The Coaches
 * Changelings as The Troublesome Trucks
 * Gummy as Trevor
 * Hoity Toity as Sir Topham Hatt
 * Snips as Bill (does not speak)
 * Snails as Ben (does not speak)
 * Scootaloo as Henrietta (does not speak)
 * Goldie Delicious as Mrs. Kyndley (cameo)
 * Everyone else as Themselves

Episodes

 * 1) A Proud Day for Cranky
 * 2) Cranky In A Mess
 * 3) Old Iron
 * 4) No Joke for Cranky
 * 5) Cranky Learns a Lesson
 * 6) Pipsqueak, Cranky and the Fruitful Day
 * 7) Cranky Goes Buzz Buzz
 * 8) Time for Trouble

Song

 * Don't Judge a Book By Its Cover

A Proud Day for Cranky
Narrator: "One night, Big Macintosh and Chief Thunderhooves were alone with Cranky Doodle Donkey. Although Hoity Toity was beginning to think well of him, whenever a chance came, the other animals would talk of nothing but bootlaces."

Big Macintosh and Chief Thunderhooves: "Remember when they had to use a bootlace to get you out of trouble, Cranky?"

Narrator: "They would tease. Cranky tried to get back by talking about Big Mac who got shut up in a tunnel and Chief Thunderhooves who got stuck on a hill, but they wouldn't listen."

Chief Thunderhooves: "You talk too much little Cranky."

Narrator: "Said Chief Thunderhooves."

Chief Thunderhooves: "A fine strong buffalo like me has something to talk about. I'm the only animal who can take the express buffaloes. When I'm not there, they need two animals. Think of that? I've taken express buffaloes for years and have never once lost my way. I seem to know the right path by instinct."

Narrator: "Every wise animal knows that the signalman makes sure the animals run on the right path, but Chief Thunderhooves was so proud, he had forgotten."

Chief Thunderhooves: "Wake up, Cranky."

Narrator: "Said Chief Thunderhooves next morning."

Chief Thunderhooves: "It's time for the express. What are you doing? Odd jobs? Ah well, we all have to begin somewhere, don't we? Run along and get my buffaloes. Don't be late."

Narrator: "Cranky went to fetch Chief Thunderhooves' buffaloes. They were all shiny with new fur. He was careful not to bump them, and they followed him smoothly into the station, singing happily,"

Buffaloes: "We're going away, we're going away."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "I wish I was going with you."

Narrator: "Said Cranky."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "I should love to take the express and go flying along the path."

Narrator: "Chief Thunderhooves, with much noise, got ready to back onto the line.

Hoity Toity was with the buffaloes with other important people. And as soon so they heard the conductor's whistle, Chief Thunderhooves started."

Chief Thunderhooves: "Look at me now, look at me now."

Narrator: "He puffed, and the buffaloes glided after him."

Chief Thunderhooves: "Goodbye little Cranky. See you tomorrow."

Narrator: "Cranky watch the line disappear and then went back to work. He pushed some changelings into their proper sidings, and went to fetch the buffaloes for another animal.

Cranky had just brought the buffaloes to the platform when he heard a mournful noise.

There was Chief Thunderhooves trying to sneak into the station without being noticed."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Hello, Chief Thunderhooves. Is it tomorrow?"

Narrator: "Chief Thunderhooves didn't answer, he just kicked at the ground feebly."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Did you lose your way, Chief Thunderhooves?"

Chief Thunderhooves: "No, it was lost for me. I turned off the main path and onto the loop. I had to go all around and back again."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Perhaps it was instinct."

Narrator: "Said Cranky.

Meanwhile, all the passengers were shouting at the ticket window."

Passengers: "We want our money back!"

Narrator: "But Hoity Toity climbed onto a cart, and blew the conductor's whistle so loudly that they all stopped to look at him. Then he promised them a new animal at once."

Hoity Toity: "Chief Thunderhooves can't do it. Will you take it for us, Cranky?"

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Yes, sir. I'll try."

Narrator: "So Cranky was hooked up, and everyone got on."

Hoity Toity: "Do your best, Cranky."

Narrator: "Said Hoity Toity."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Come along, come along."

Narrator: "Said Cranky."

Buffaloes: "You're pulling us well, you're pulling us well."

Narrator: "Sang the buffaloes."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Hurry, hurry, hurry."

Narrator: "Puffed Cranky.

Bridges and stations flashed by, the passengers cheered and they soon reached the station. Everyone said 'Thank you' to Cranky, and Hoity Toity was very impressed."

Hoity Toity: "Well done! Would you like to take the express sometimes?"

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Yes, please!"

Narrator: "Answered Cranky.

Next day, when Cranky came by, Chief Thunderhooves was pushing changelings."

Chief Thunderhooves: "I like some quiet work for a change."

Narrator: "He said."

Chief Thunderhooves: "I'm teaching these changelings manners. You did well with those buffaloes I hear. Good, we'll show them."

Narrator: "And he gave his changelings a bump.

Cranky and Chief Thunderhooves are now good friends. Cranky sometimes takes the express to give Chief Thunderhooves a rest. Chief Thunderhooves never talks about bootlaces, and they are both quite agreed on the subject of changelings."

Cranky In A Mess
Narrator: "Braeburn and Scootaloo were enjoying their new job in Ponyville, but they do look old fashioned and need new coats.

Cranky Doodle Donkey was very rude whenever he saw them."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Yech! What dirty objects!"

Narrator: "He would say.

At last, Braeburn lost patience."

Braeburn: "Cranky,"

Narrator: "He asked."

Braeburn: "Why are you brown?"

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "I am a splendid donkey."

Narrator: "Answered Cranky."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Ready for anything. You never see me dirty."

Braeburn: "Oh,"

Narrator: "Said Braeburn innocently."

Braeburn: "That's why you once needed bootlaces to be ready, I suppose."

Narrator: "Cranky went redder than ever and snorted off. It was such an insult to be reminded of the time a bootlace had been used to mend a hole in his buffaloes.

At the end of the line, Cranky left his buffaloes and got ready for his next train. It was a slow freight, stopping at every station to pick up and set down changelings. Cranky hated slow freight runs."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Dirty changelings from dirty sidings.

Yech!"

Narrator: "Starting with only a few, he pickled up more and more changelings at each station, till he had a long line.

At first, the changelings behaved well, but Cranky bumped them so crossly, that they were determined to get back at him.

Presently, they approached the top of Chief Thunderhooves' hill. Heavy freight animals halt here to set their brakes. Cranky had had an accident with changelings before, and should have remembered this."

Cranky Doodle Donkey's Driver: "Wait, Cranky, wait!"

Narrator: "Said the driver, but Cranky wouldn't wait. He was too busy thinking what he'd say to Braeburn when they next met.

The changelings' chance had come."

Changelings: "Hurrah! Hurrah!"

Narrator: "They laughed, and banging each other, they pushed him down the hill."

Changelings: "On! On!"

Narrator: "Laughed the changelings."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "I've got to stop! I've got to stop!"

Narrator: "Groaned Cranky.

Disaster lay ahead."

(CRASH!)

"Something sticky splashed all over Cranky. He had run into two tar barrels, and was black from head to toe. He was more dirty than hurt, but the tar barrels and some changelings were all to pieces.

Braeburn and Pipsqueak were sent to help, and came as quickly as they could."

Braeburn: "Look here, Pipsqueak,"

Narrator: "Exclaimed Braeburn."

Braeburn: "Whatever is that dirty object?"

Pipsqueak: "That's Cranky Doodle Donkey, didn't you know?"

Braeburn: "It's Cranky's shape,"

Narrator: "Said Braeburn."

Braeburn: "But Cranky is a splendid donkey, and you never see him dirty."

Narrator: "Cranky pretended he hadn't heard.

Braeburn and Pipsqueak cleared away the unhurt changelings, and helped Cranky home.

Hoity Toity met them."

Hoity Toity: "Well done, Pipsqueak and Braeburn!"

Narrator: "He turned to Cranky."

Hoity Toity: "Fancy letting your changelings run away, I am surprised. You're not fit to be seen, you must be cleaned at once!

Braeburn shall have a new coat."

Braeburn: "Please, sir, can Scootaloo have one, too?"

Narrator: "Said Braeburn."

Hoity Toity: "Certainly, Braeburn."

Braeburn: "Oh, thank you, sir. She will be pleased!"

Narrator: "All Cranky could do was watch Braeburn as he ran off happily with the news."

Old Iron
Narrator: "One day, Cranky Doodle Donkey had to wait at the station till Shining Armor and his buffaloes came in. This made him cross."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Late again!"

Narrator: "Shining Armor laughed, and Cranky fumed away.

After Cranky had finished his work, he went back to the yard and puffed onto the turntable. He was still feeling very bad tempered."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Shining Armor is impossible."

Narrator: "He grumbled to the others."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "He clanks about like a lot of old iron, and he is so slow he makes us wait!"

Narrator: "Spike and Pipsqueak were indignant."

Pipsqueak: "Old iron? Slow?"

Spike: "Why, Shining Armor could beat you in a race any day!"

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Really!"

Narrator: "Said Cranky."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "I should like to see him do it!"

Narrator: "Next morning, Cranky's driver was suddenly taken ill. He could hardly stand, so the fireman unhooked Cranky ready for shunting. Cranky was impatient."

Suddenly, the signalman shouted. There was Cranky running away down the road."

Signalman: "All traffic halted!"

Narrator: "Called the signalman. Then he told the fireman what had happened."

Signalman: "Two boys were standing nearby Cranky fiddling with him."

Cranky Doodle Donkey's Fireman: "Phew!"

Signalman: "They ran off when Cranky started."

(Phone rings)

Narrator: "The signalman answered the telephone."

Signalman: "Yes. He's here. Right. I'll tell him.

The inspector's coming at once. He wants a shunter's pole and a coil of wire rope."

Cranky Doodle's Donkey's Fireman: "What for?"

Narrator: "Wondered the fireman."

Signalman: "Search me! But you'd better get them quickly."

Narrator: "The fireman was ready when Shining Armor arrived. The inspector saw the pole and the rope."

Inspector: "Good man. Jump on."

Shining Armor: "We'll catch him, we'll catch him."

Narrator: "Said Shining Armor. Cranky was laughing."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "What a lark! What a lark!"

Narrator: "He chuckled to himself.

Suddenly he was going faster and faster. He realized that he had no driver."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "What shall I do? I can't stop! Help! Help!"

Shining Armor: "We're coming! We're coming!"

Narrator: "Called Shining Armor.

Shining Armor was panting up behind with every once of strength he had. At last he caught up with Cranky."

Shining Armor's Driver: "Steady, Shining Armor!"

Narrator: "Called his driver. The inspector stood in front of Shining Armor, holding a noose of rope in the crook of the shunter's pole. He was trying to slip it over Cranky. The animals swayed and lurched.

At last!"

Inspector: "Got him!"

Narrator: "He shouted. He pulled the noose tight. Gently braking, Shining Armor's driver checked the unicorn's speed, and Cranky's fireman scrambled across and took control."

Shining Armor: "So the old iron caught you after all."

Narrator: "Chuckled Shining Armor."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "I'm sorry."

Narrator: "Whispered Cranky."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Thank you for saving me. You were splendid, Shining Armor."

Shining Armor: "That's all right."

Narrator: "Replied Shining Armor. The animals arrived at the station side by side. Hoity Toity was waiting."

Hoity Toity: "A fine piece of work."

Narrator: "He said."

Hoity Toity: "Cranky, you can rest and then take your load. I'm proud of you, Shining Armor. You shall go to the hospital and have your worn parts healed."

Shining Armor: "Oh, thank you, sir."

Narrator: "Said Shining Armor."

Shining Armor: "It'll be lovely not to clank."

No Joke for Cranky
Narrator: "Cranky is a mixed-traffic donkey. He can take both changelings and buffaloes. He's proud of his smart brown fur and blonde wig, and so is his driver."

Cranky Doodle Donkey's Driver: "Everyone says you brighten up their day, Cranky."

Narrator: "One morning, Cranky whistled loudly at the other animals."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Look at me! I am the smartest, most useful animal on the path!"

Spike: "Rubbish!"

Narrator: "Replied Spike."

Spike: "We're all useful! Hoity Toity says so, and he's head of the whole town."

Pipsqueak: "You know what, Cranky?"

Narrator: "Added Pipsqueak."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "What?"

Narrator: "Replied Cranky."

Pipsqueak: "You're getting all puffed up."

Narrator: "Cranky huffed away.

Later, he was still boasting."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "I'm the pride of the path."

Chief Thunderhooves: "I saw you taking changelings."

Narrator: "Snorted Chief Thunderhooves."

Chief Thunderhooves: "You're only a goods donkey."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "I take buffaloes too!"

Chief Thunderhooves: "Not as mush as I do."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "But Hoity Toity has plans for me."

Narrator: "Cranky was only making this up, but Chief Thunderhooves believed him."

Chief Thunderhooves: "What plans?"

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Ah, wait and see.

Oh dear."

Narrator: "He thought."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Now what'll I do?"

Narrator: "Spike was arranging shiny new buffaloes."

Spike: "Good morning, Cranky."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Are those buffaloes for me?"

Narrator: "Asked Cranky hopefully."

Spike: "No. These are for Chief Thunderhooves' express. I'll fetch your changelings next."

Narrator: "But Cranky was going to play a trick on the other animals."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Actually, Spike, I'm taking the buffaloes. Hoity Toity asked me to tell you."

Spike: "What about the changelings?"

Narrator: "Asked Spike."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Ah, give them Chief Thunderhooves."

Spike's Driver: "Come on, Spike."

Narrator: "Said his driver."

Spike's Driver: "Orders are orders."

Narrator: "So when Cranky's driver returned, Cranky was hooked up to the buffaloes and he puffed away.

Spike returned with the changelings, and a few minutes later, Chief Thunderhooves arrived."

Chief Thunderhooves: "Where's the express?"

Narrator: "Spike told him about Cranky."

Spike: "And so here are your changelings."

Narrator: "Chief Thunderhooves was very cross, and so was his driver."

Chief Thunderhooves' Driver: "Wait till Hoity Toity hears about this!"

Narrator: "Meanwhile, Cranky was enjoying himself enormously."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "What a clever plan, what a clever plan!"

Narrator: "He chuffed.

Then he saw Hoity Toity."

Hoity Toity: "Some jokes are funny, but not this one Cranky. You have caused confusion!"

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Yes, sir."

Narrator: "Said Cranky."

Hoity Toity: "You will now stay in your house until you are wanted!"

Narrator: "The other animals teased Cranky."

Chief Thunderhooves: "I wonder who'll be pulling the express today."

Narrator: "Said Chief Thunderhooves

Big Macintosh: "I expect it'll be you."

Narrator: "Replied Big Macintosh."

Big Macintosh: "Cranky is stuck in his house for being silly."

Narrator: "Cranky felt sad.

Next morning, he went back to work."

Spike: "Hello."

Narrator: "Whistled Spike."

Spike: "Good to see you out and about again."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "I'm sorry I tricked you."

Narrator: "Said Cranky."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Are these my changelings?"

Spike: "Yes."

Narrator: "Replied Spike kindly."

Spike: "They are pleased to have you back."

Narrator: "Cranky set off to the harbor with his line of changelings. He bustled about all day, pushing and pulling them into place."

Cranky Doodle Donkey's Driver: "Time to go home now, Cranky."

Narrator: "Said his driver at last."

Cranky Doodle Donkey's Driver: "No changelings or passengers, just we two."

Narrator: "But his driver was wrong."

Jeremiah Jobling: "Excuse me."

Narrator: "Called a man."

Jeremiah Jobling: "I have a meeting with Hoity Toity and I mustn't be late. May I come back with you?"

Cranky Doodle Donkey's Driver: "Of course."

Narrator: "Replied Cranky's driver. Then he whispered to Cranky."

Cranky Doodle Donkey's Driver: "This gentleman is a town inspector."

Narrator: "Cranky was most impressed.

He walked along the path as smoothly and quickly as he could

Hoity Toity was waiting on the platform, and the town inspector greeted them warmly."

Jeremiah Jobling: "This clever donkey gave me a splendid walk. You must be proud of him."

Hoity Toity: "Yes, indeed. Once again you are a Really Useful Donkey."

Cranky Learns a Lesson
Narrator: "Cranky Doodle Donkey was enjoying his life in Ponyville, but he still had a lot to learn."

Hoity Toity: "You're a special mixed-traffic donkey."

Narrator: "Said Hoity Toity."

Hoity Toity: "You can take buffaloes and changelings quite easily, but you must learn by your mistakes."

Narrator: "Cranky knew what Hoity Toity meant. He could well remember that dreadful accident on his first day."

Shining Armor: "Be careful with the buffaloes, Cranky."

Narrator: "Said kind little Shining Armor."

Shining Armor: "They don't like being bumped."

Narrator: "Everyone came to admire Cranky."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "I'm a really splendid donkey."

Narrator: "He thought, and suddenly kicked some dirt."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Wheesh!"

Narrator: "Some dirt fell on Hoity Toity's hair.

Just then, the conductor blew his whistle, and Cranky thought they had better go."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Go on! Go on!"

Narrator: "He puffed to Shining Armor."

Shining Armor: "Don't push! Don't push!"

Narrator: "Puffed Shining Armor. The buffaloes were grumbling too."

Buffaloes: "Don't go so fast! Don't go so fast!"

Narrator: "But Cranky didn't listen.

When at last, they stopped at the next station, two buffaloes were beyond the platform. They had to go back to drop off their passengers. But no one seemed to know about Hoity Toity's hair, so Cranky felt happier.

Presently, they came to the station where Spike was waiting with his two fillies."

Spike: "Hello, Cranky."

Narrator: "Said Spike."

Spike: "Feeling better? That's good.

Oh, that's my conductor's whistle. I must go. I don't know what Hoity Toity would do without me to run this path."

Narrator: "And he puffed off importantly.

Shining Armor and Cranky passed the field where Cranky had had his accident. The fence was mended and the cows were back again.

They ended their journey, and rested before setting off for home. Cranky was still wondering what Hoity Toity would have to say about his hair.

Next morning, he spoke severely to Cranky."

Hoity Toity: "If you can't behave, I shall take away your brown fur, and have you wear white."

Narrator: "Cranky didn't like that at all.

He was very rough with the grumbling buffaloes as he brought them to the platform."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Don't talk! Come on!

Chief Thunderhooves never has to fetch his own buffaloes,"

Narrator: "He thought to himself."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "And he only has dark gray fur."

Narrator: "To make Cranky even more cross, this time no one came near him."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "I'll show them."

Narrator: "He thought.

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "They think Chief Thunderhooves is the only animal who can take buffaloes.

Hurry, hurry, hurry!"

Narrator: "Puffed Cranky."

Buffaloes: "You're going too fast! You're going too fast!"

Narrator: "Replied the buffaloes. Cranky laughed and tried to go faster, but the buffaloes wouldn't let him."

Buffaloes: "We're going to stop. We're going to stop!"

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "What's the matter?"

Narrator: "Cranky asked his driver."

Cranky Doodle Donkey's Driver: "The buffaloes are on. Scratch on the leg most likely. You've banged the buffaloes enough to make a scratch on anything."

Conductor: "How should we mend it?"

Narrator: "Said the conductor."

Cranky Doodle Donkey's Driver: "We'll do it with newspaper and a leather bootlace."

Narrator: "Replied the driver."

Conductor: "Well, where is the bootlace coming from?"

Narrator: "Asked the conductor."

Cranky Doodle Donkey's Driver: "Ask the passengers."

Narrator: "Said the driver."

Conductor: "You have leather bootlace there."

Narrator: "Said the conductor to a smarty dressed man."

Conductor: "Please give it to me."

Jeremiah Jobling: "I won't."

Conductor: "Then I'm afraid we'll all have to stay where we are."

Narrator: "The passengers all said what a bad land it was. Then they told the man how bad he was instead. Everyone was very cross.

At last, he handed his laces over.

The driver tied a pad of newspaper tightly round the hole in the leg, and Cranky was able to take the buffaloes.

But he was a sadder and wiser Cranky, and took care never to bump buffaloes again."

Pipsqueak, Cranky and the Fruitful Day
Narrator: "It was a splendid morning in Ponyville.

Cranky Doodle Donkey was feeling very pleased with himself. His brown fur gleamed in the sunshine as he sped along the path. He reached the junction just as Pipsqueak puffed in with some changelings. Cranky was surprised to see him.

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "What are you doing here, Pipsqueak? You should be at the station by now."

Pipsqueak: "I know."

Narrator: "Sighed Pipsqueak."

Pipsqueak: "These changelings have been troublesome all morning."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "That's no excuse, Pipsqueak. Nothing should stop us. Hoity Toity relies on us to be on time. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll be on my way."

Narrator: "And Cranky puffed importantly away."

Pipsqueak: "Bossy Hoof!"

Narrator: "Muttered Pipsqueak.

Cranky arrived at the harbor. It was market day. The harbor yard was filled with the sweet smell of fruit from faraway lands. The fruit was delivered in big ships. Cranky watched the strawberries, oranges, melons, and bananas were carefully loaded into his changelings. Then he set off to the station on the main road.

On the way, he met Spike."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Really reliable, that's me!"

Narrator: "Panted Cranky."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Pity the same can't be said for Pipsqueak. Goodbye!"

Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle: "What was all that about?"

Narrator: "Gasped Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle."

Spike: "That was trouble. Trouble for Cranky. Just wait and see."

Narrator: "Pipsqueak was back in the yard, and busy tackling. He had the changelings in good order, and was making up for lost time.

But the stationmaster had bad news.

Pipsqueak's Driver: "What's happened?"

Narrator: "Asked Pipsqueak's Driver."

Stationmaster: "Cranky's hooves have jammed. We need Pipsqueak's help right away."

Narrator: "Pipsqueak quickly set off to the rescue.

Cranky was stuck on the path, and looking glum. Pipsqueak couldn't help laughing."

Pipsqueak: "Got yourself in a jam, eh, Cranky? A sticky situation?"

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Be quiet! It's not funny having jammed hooves."

Pipsqueak: "And not very reliable, either. I'm surprised you let it happen, Cranky. Nothing should stop us animals."

Pipsqueak's Driver: "That's enough, Pipsqueak."

Narrator: "Said the driver."

Pipsqueak's Driver: "Can you push these changelings?"

Pipsqueak: "Of course I can. There's no time to lose. Cranky's done too much of that already."

Narrator: "Cranky angrily hissed steam as Pipsqueak was coupled to the changelings."

Pipsqueak: "Off we go!"

Narrator: "Said Pipsqueak."

Pipsqueak: "I'll have to go fast to get there in time. Those big donkeys are so unreliable."

Pipsqueak's Driver: "Be careful, Pipsqueak."

Narrator: "Called his driver, but Pipsqueak was in a hurry.

He didn't see that the sign had failed, and that he had been diverted into a siding.

Pipsqueak's Driver: "Look out, Pipsqueak!"

Narrator: "Shouted his driver, and applied the brakes, but it was too late!

(CRASH!)

The driver and fireman had jumped clear, but squashed fruit squirted all over Pipsqueak.

Hoity Toity arrived."

Hoity Toity: "Pipsqueak, you are not to blame for the sign failure, but I do not run a jam factory!"

Pipsqueak: "Yes sir, no sir!"

Narrator: "And Pipsqueak squelched sadly away.

That night, the library was silent. Cranky and Pipsqueak felt very sorry for themselves. At last, Spike spoke."

Spike: "You know,"

Narrator: "He said to no one in particular,"

Spike: "There's more than one way to get jammed. We all learned that today."

Narrator: "Still, there was silence."

Spike: "What's more. We also learned that sometimes when animals help each other out of a..'jam', things can still go wrong.

Narrator: "'So?', said a voice."

Spike: "So, that means we learned a lot today. And there for..."

Narrator: "Then came a chorus."

Other Animals: "We're really useful animals after all!"

Cranky Goes Buzz Buzz
Narrator: "Gummy the Alligator was enjoying his work in the vicarage orchard. Birds were singing, and apples were ripening on the trees. It was a lovely day."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Hello, Gummy."

Narrator: "Said Cranky."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "You look as bright and cheerful as my brown fur."

Gummy: "Oh, I am."

Narrator: "Replied Gummy."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "What's that noise?"

Gummy: "It's the bees."

Narrator: "Laughed Gummy."

Gummy: "They're all in these boxy things called beehives. I'm taking them to the station. The vicar says his bees make good honey, and he's giving some of them to his friends."

Narrator: "Just then, Filthy Rich the Rich Pony hummed in."

Filthy Rich: "Take care, you two. Don't make the bees angry. They might sting you."

Narrator: "Cranky didn't like being told what to do by a rich pony, and he buzzed away."

Filthy Rich: "Goodbye, Gummy."

Narrator: "Called Filthy Rich, and set off to see Soarin at the next station.

Snips and Snails, the unicorns, were busy arranging changelings, but they scampered off when they saw Filthy Rich."

Filthy Rich: "I remember the first time I met those two."

Narrator: "Laughed Filthy Rich."

Filthy Rich: "They nearly made my eyes pop out. Shining Armor soon put a stop to their games."

Soarin: "Shining Armor is the only one who can keep Snips and Snails in order."

Narrator: "Chuckled Soarin."

Soarin: "I sometimes call them 'The Bees'."

Filthy Rich: "A good name."

Narrator: "Replied Filthy Rich."

Filthy Rich: "They're terrors when they start buzzing around."

Narrator: "Cranky bustled in."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "What's that, Soarin? Are you afraid of bees? They're only insects, after all, so don't let that buzzbox pony tell you different."

Soarin: "His name is Filthy Rich, and he didn't. We..."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "I wouldn't care if hundreds were swarming around. I'd just blow at them and make them buzz off."

Soarin: "Buzz buzz buzz."

Narrator: "Retorted Soarin.

The next morning, Cranky arrived at the station to collect his buffaloes. The passengers were excited, and keen to get on board. The platform was crowded, and the porter was in a hurry."

The Porter: "Mind your backs."

Narrator: "He shouted.

Then, there was trouble. The beehive fell and broke open.

The station cleared like magic.

Cranky heard a familiar buzzing. The bees were too cold to be cross, so they buzzed around his fireman, hoping he'd mend their hive, but he didn't understand, nor did his driver, so the bees turned to Cranky. His body was nice and warm."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Buzz off! Buzz off!"

Narrator: "Hissed Cranky.

One bee burnt his foot."

Bee: "Ooh, aah, ooh! ooh!"

Narrator: "The bee thought Cranky burnt him on purpose.

So it stung Cranky right back on the nose."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "EEEE!"

Narrator: "Whistled Cranky. He had had enough. So had his fireman and driver.

They didn't notice till too late that they had left all of their buffaloes behind. They tried everything to get rid of the bees.

First, they spun around on the turntable, but to no avail.

They tried washing them off, but the bees clung harder to Cranky's warm body.

Then they tried smoking them off by going through a long tunnel, but still, the bees wouldn't go away."

Cranky's Driver: "It's no good, Cranky."

Narrator: "Said his driver."

Cranky's Driver: "We'll just have to go back to the orchard, and fetch another hive."

Narrator: "Cranky's reply was drowned by the sound of buzzing.

The vicar was waiting anxiously for Cranky.

When he arrived, the bees swarmed straight into their new home."

Cranky's Driver: "Come on, Cranky."

Narrator: "Said his driver."

Cranky's Driver: "What you need now is a good hose-down."

Narrator: "Later that day, Cranky was resting in his house, when the vicar came to see him."

The Vicar: "Thank you for saving my bees."

Narrator: "He said."

The Vicar: "It's a pity it's not Christmas; then we could call you Cranky the Red-Nosed Donkey."

Narrator: "Everyone laughed, even Cranky. But instead, they decided to call Cranky "The Bee's Knees", which means they thought he was more useful than ever."

Time for Trouble
Narrator: "Ponyville had many visitors, and Hoity Toity had scheduled more lines of buffaloes. Chief Thunderhooves, the proud buffalo, had to work harder than ever before."

Chief Thunderhooves: "Come on!"

Narrator: "He called to the other buffaloes."

Chief Thunderhooves: "Come on, come on, come on! The passengers rely on me to be on time."

Narrator: "Whenever Chief Thunderhooves finished one journey, it was time for another to begin."

Chief Thunderhooves: "Never mind."

Narrator: "He puffed."

Chief Thunderhooves: "I like a long run to stretch my legs."

Narrator: "Even so, Hoity Toity decided that Chief Thunderhooves needed a rest."

Hoity Toity: "Cranky Doodle Donkey shall do your work."

Narrator: "He said kindly. Cranky was delighted. He liked to show off his smart brown hair and was determined to be as fast as Chief Thunderhooves."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "You know, little Braeburn."

Narrator: "He boasted."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "I'm an important donkey; everyone knows it. I'm as regular as clockwork. Never late, always on time. That's me."

Braeburn: "Says you."

Narrator: "Replied Braeburn. Just then Hoity Toity arrived."

Hoity Toity: "Your parts are worn, Braeburn. So you must go to the hospital to get better."

Braeburn: "Can I take Scootaloo, sir?"

Hoity Toity: "No. What would the passengers do without her?"

Narrator: "Braeburn saw Pipsqueak by the water fountain."

Pipsqueak: "Don't worry, Braeburn. I'll take care of Scootaloo until you get back."

Narrator: "Soon Braeburn was out on the main road. He clanked as he walked again. He's a little pony with small hooves. His body didn't hold much water. He had come a long way and began to feel thirsty. In the distance was a signal."

Braeburn: "Good."

Narrator: "He thought."

Braeburn: "There's a station a head. I can have a nice drink and a rest until Cranky has passed."

Narrator: "Braeburn was enjoying his drink when the signalman came up. He had never seen Braeburn before. Braeburn's driver tried to explain, but the new signalman wouldn't listen."

Signalman: "We must clear the line for Cranky with the express. You'll have to get more water at the next station."

Narrator: "Hurrying used a lot of water, and his body was soon empty. Poor Braeburn was out of stamina and stranded on the main road."

Braeburn's Fireman: "We must warn Cranky."

Narrator: "Said the fireman. Then he saw Pipsqueak and Scootaloo."

Braeburn's Fireman: "Please, take me back to the station. It's an emergency."

Narrator: "Scootaloo hated leaving Braeburn."

Pipsqueak: "Never mind."

Narrator: "Said Pipsqueak."

Pipsqueak: "You're taking the fireman to warn Cranky, that's a big help."

Narrator: "Scootaloo felt much better. Cranky was fuming when he heard the news."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "I'm going to be late."

Signalman: "My fault."

Narrator: "Said the signalman."

Signalman: "I didn't understand about Braeburn."

Cranky Doodle Donkey's Driver: "Now, Cranky."

Narrator: "Said his driver."

Cranky Doodle Donkey's Driver: "You'll have to push Braeburn."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "What, me!"

Narrator: "Snorted Cranky."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Me push Braeburn and pull my buffaloes too?"

Narrator: "Grumbling dreadfully, Cranky set off to find Braeburn. He came up behind Braeburn and gave him a bump."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Get on, you!"

Narrator: "Cranky had to work very hard. When he reached the hospital station, he felt exhausted. Some children were on the platform."

Boy: "Coo, the express is late and it's got two animals. I just Cranky couldn't pull it on his own, so Braeburn had to help him."

Braeburn: "Never mind, Cranky."

Narrator: "Whispered Braeburn."

Braeburn: "They're only joking."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Hah!"

Narrator: "Said Cranky. Braeburn just smiled."

Don't Judge a Book By Its Cover

 * Spike first saw Featherweight the Pegasus
 * Plowing in a field one day
 * And he said, "My oh my, you do look funny.
 * Where are your arms, are your arms, are your arms?
 * How ever do you move along?
 * You really do look funny."


 * "Don't be so rude", said Featherweight the Pegasus
 * "I don't have arms like you
 * Because my wings are so much better.
 * And I can go anywhere, anywhere, anywhere
 * I don't need roads like you.
 * One day I will prove it, show you how I do it
 * Then you will understand...


 * That you don't judge a book by its cover
 * Don't make your mind up too soon
 * Things aren't necessarily
 * Always what they appear to be
 * Don't judge a book by its cover
 * Don't make your mind up too soon
 * Never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never
 * Never judge a book by its cover"


 * Sure enough, one winter's day
 * When the snow lay deep and hard
 * Spike got stuck, he was in trouble
 * And who do you think came along, came along
 * And rescued him that day
 * The snow didn't matter to Featherweight the Pegasus
 * Now Spike understands...


 * That you don't judge a book by its cover
 * Don't make your mind up too soon
 * Things aren't necessarily
 * Always what they appear to be
 * Don't judge a book by its cover
 * Don't make your mind up too soon
 * Never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never
 * Never judge a book by its cover.


 * Don't judge a book by its cover
 * Don't make your mind up too soon
 * Things aren't necessarily
 * Always what they appear to be.
 * Don't judge a book by its cover
 * Just remember the rule
 * Never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never
 * Never judge a book....
 * By its cover!