Open Sesame/Rubber Duckie (Bert's version) (from Sesame Street)

Cast

 * Big Bird's Yellow Book as Bert
 * Grover's Orange Book as Ernie

Lyrics
Big Bird's Yellow Book: Oh, these are beauties. Oh, I love spending time alone with my paperclip collection.

Grover's Orange Book: Oh, there you are, Big Bird's Yellow Book. Hey, Big Bird's Yellow Book. I need your help, Big Bird's Yellow Book.

Big Bird's Yellow Book: What is it, Grover's Orange Book?

Grover's Orange Book: Well, I need for you to sing the "Rubber Duckie" song to my rubber duckie.

Big Bird's Yellow Book: Oh, Grover's Orange Book, please, I'm busy.

Grover's Orange Book: But, Big Bird's Yellow Book. It's important, Big Bird's Yellow Book.

Big Bird's Yellow Book: (heavy sigh) Grover's Orange Book, what is so important? Huh? What is so important about singing to your duck?

Grover's Orange Book: Well, I'll tell you, Big Bird's Yellow Book.

Big Bird's Yellow Book: Is it more important than my paperclips?

Grover's Orange Book: Well, Big Bird's Yellow Book, I was just thinking.

Big Bird's Yellow Book: Do I ask you to sing to my paperclips?

Grover's Orange Book: Big Bird's Yellow Book. Big Bird's Yellow Book, I was thinking.

Big Bird's Yellow Book: (sighs)

Grover's Orange Book: I was thinking, what if I should have to go away somewhere? And what if I can't bring Rubber Duckie with me and there's no one to sing to Rubber Duckie?

Big Bird's Yellow Book: Where would you possibly go?

Grover's Orange Book: Well, gee, what if I suddenly had to go around the world, Big Bird's Yellow Book, or something like that, Big Bird's Yellow Book? And Rubber Duckie would get so sad, Big Bird's Yellow Book. Rubber Duckie would get so sad, Big Bird's Yellow Book.

Big Bird's Yellow Book: All right.

Grover's Orange Book: And he needs somebody to sing to him, Big Bird's Yellow Book, right? Right, Big Bird's Yellow Book? See there, Big Bird's Yellow Book? Look. Just thinking about it, Big Bird's Yellow Book. Just thinking about it has made him so sad, Big Bird's Yellow Book.

Big Bird's Yellow Book: Grover's Orange Book.

Grover's Orange Book: But what if I had to go around the world, Big Bird's Yellow Book?

Big Bird's Yellow Book: Grover's Orange Book.

Grover's Orange Book: You could sing to him, Big Bird's Yellow Book.

Big Bird's Yellow Book: Grover's Orange Book.

Grover's Orange Book: Hmm?

Big Bird's Yellow Book: All right.

Grover's Orange Book: You'll do it?

Big Bird's Yellow Book: You win.

Grover's Orange Book: Great!

Big Bird's Yellow Book: Fine.

Grover's Orange Book: Mm-hmm?

Big Bird's Yellow Book: Okay?

Grover's Orange Book: Okay.

Big Bird's Yellow Book: (heavy sigh)

Grover's Orange Book: Now, all you have to do is just practice, Big Bird's Yellow Book.

Big Bird's Yellow Book: All right, what do I do?

Grover's Orange Book: I think this will be a great time to practice.

Big Bird's Yellow Book: All right, fine. Let's get it over with, okay?

Grover's Orange Book: Okay.

Big Bird's Yellow Book: I'll sing the "Rubber Duckie" song, but just one time, Grover's Orange Book. And then that is it. I'm going back to my paperclip collection, okay?

Grover's Orange Book: Sure, Big Bird's Yellow Book. Now sing.

Big Bird's Yellow Book: (heavy sigh)

Grover's Orange Book: Big Bird's Yellow Book, Big Bird's Yellow Book, sing from the heart, Big Bird's Yellow Book.

Big Bird's Yellow Book: All right, all right.

Grover's Orange Book: Okay, sing it to Rubber Duckie.

Big Bird's Yellow Book: (sighs) (rushed singing) Rubber Duckie, you're the one. You make bath time lots of fun. Rubber Duckie, I'm awfully fond of you.

Grover's Orange Book: Bo-bo-bo-di-oh.

Big Bird's Yellow Book: Do I have to do that?

Grover's Orange Book: Bo-bo-bo-di-oh.

Big Bird's Yellow Book: (singing) Bo-bo-bo-di-oh. (spoken) All right?

Grover's Orange Book: Okay, Big Bird's Yellow Book, Big Bird's Yellow Book, that was not bad for a first time, Big Bird's Yellow Book. But we need more feeling, Big Bird's Yellow Book, Big Bird's Yellow Book.

Big Bird's Yellow Book: (sighs)

Grover's Orange Book: He's a very sensitive little duck.

Big Bird's Yellow Book: Rubber Duckie, joy of joys. When I squeeze you, you make noise. Rubber Duckie, you're my very best friend. It's true.

Grover's Orange Book: Okay, Big Bird's Yellow Book, now let 'er rip!

Big Bird's Yellow Book: Oh! Rubber Duckie, you're so fine. ( Grover's Orange Book: Oh, yeah! ) And I'm glad that you are mine! ( Grover's Orange Book: Yes! ) Rubber Duckie, I'm awfully fond of you!

Grover's Orange Book: Okay, Big Bird's Yellow Book, now give us a big finish!

Big Bird's Yellow Book: (spoken) Hey, stand back! ( Grover's Orange Book: Come on, Big Bird's Yellow Book! ) (singing) Rubber duckie, ( Grover's Orange Book: Yeah! ) you're so fine. Yes, sir! And I'm lucky that you're mine! ( Grover's Orange Book: Oh, yeah! ) Rubber Duckie, I'd like a whole pond of... Rubber Duckie, I'm awfully fond...( Grover's Orange Book: Bring it home, Big Bird's Yellow Book! ) ...of you! (laughing)

Grover's Orange Book: Oh, oh, Big Bird's Yellow Book. Big Bird's Yellow Book, that was great, Big Bird's Yellow Book. Oh, oh. Yes, Big Bird's Yellow Book. Big Bird's Yellow Book, Big Bird's Yellow Book, that was so great. I think you touched his little duckie heart, Big Bird's Yellow Book.

Big Bird's Yellow Book: Oh, yeah. You know what, Grover's Orange Book? I really enjoyed that. It was fun. I feel like singing to your Rubber Duckie again. Okay, here we go.

Grover's Orange Book: Uh...

Big Bird's Yellow Book: (singing) Rubber Duckie...

Grover's Orange Book: Big Bird's Yellow Book, Big Bird's Yellow Book.

Big Bird's Yellow Book: What? What?

Grover's Orange Book: Wait a second, Big Bird's Yellow Book. We can't do that, Big Bird's Yellow Book, because Rubber Duckie and I have to return a book to the library.

Big Bird's Yellow Book: Well, leave Rubber Duckie here. I'll sing to him.

Grover's Orange Book: No, no, no.

Big Bird's Yellow Book: (singing) Rubber Duck...

Grover's Orange Book: Big Bird's Yellow Book, Big Bird's Yellow Book, Big Bird's Yellow Book.

Big Bird's Yellow Book: What? What?

Grover's Orange Book: I don't think so, Big Bird's Yellow Book. You see, I'm not really ready to leave my Rubber Duckie with anyone else. See ya, Big Bird's Yellow Book.

Big Bird's Yellow Book: Wait, wait, wait, wait. Come back. I liked singing to your duckie. We established a relationship. (sad sigh)