Ernest the Engine & Others

Ernest the Engine & Others is a parody on Thomas the Tank Engine & Friends on the Australian Comedy Inc which features a Cart Engine named Ernest who works with his friends Stevie the Steam Train, who stutters badly at inaproppriate moments and Gail the Guard's Compartment.

Season 1 (Reagan Needs Help Version)

 * 1) Fat Controller - April 2, 2001
 * 2) Ernest the Search Engine - April 3, 2001
 * 3) Broken Silence - April 11, 2001
 * 4) Road Rage - April 12, 2001
 * 5) Gale's Time of the Month - April 17, 2001
 * 6) Dating - April 24, 2001
 * 7) Gale Wants A Pet - April 25, 2001
 * 8) It Takes Two - April 20, 2001
 * 9) Smoking - April 27, 2001
 * 10) Ernest Brags To Gail - April 30, 2001
 * 11) Ernest Thinks Stevie is a Nazi - May 29, 2001

Season 2

 * 1) Going to Kill Again - June 26, 2001
 * 2) Truck People - July 3, 2001
 * 3) Drugs - July 10, 2001
 * 4) Stevie Didn't Get the Job - July 17, 2001
 * 5) Revolution - July 24, 2001
 * 6) Masturbation - July 31, 2001
 * 7) Sick of the Passengers - August 7, 2001
 * 8) Sexual Descrimination - August 14, 2001
 * 9) Dreams - August 21, 2001
 * 10) Sexism - September 11, 2001
 * 11) Pregnancy - October 8, 2002

Ernest the Engine Cart
Ernest is a yellow diesel engine car who is always shown in the sheds next to Stevie the Steam Train. He is the only character that is not seen moving.

Ernest once gets the Idea to become a search engine to become a Dot Com Millionaire in order to beat Google so people can download Hard Core pornography. He is the main character who appears in the Logo beginning pulling some Trucks. He also wants to date Gale the Guards Compartment and asked Stevie who had dated her once saying that he tried to "Fuckher-Fuckher.... Forget all About it". He is also racist against trucks and black people.

He is a parody of Diesel.

Gail the Guard's Compartment
Gail is a diesel-powered guard's compartment who usually appears on Ernest's left side next to the shed. She is the only one seen to leave the shed.

Stevie once dated her claiming that she has a very loose Arsenal souvenir collection and Arsenal computer site (all which his stutter was mistaken for her having a very loose Ass). She once was having that time of the month where she needed a new coat of paint (a joke on having a period) and stated that "guard's compartment" is just another word for "rear end". Stevie tries to calm her by saying that if she was a big fat ass there would be no gap in between the station platform which really didn't help. Ernest also tries to calm by asking her if she's trying on a shed which distracted her. She was once caught posessing high grade heroin. Since then, she has steered clear of drugs, and formed an anti-drug support group: Carriages United Not Taking Substances, whom for obvious reasons rarely use their acronym. Ernest wants to date her.

She is a parody of Mavis.

Stevie the Steam Train
Stevie as his name suggests is a steam train who stutters at the most inappropriate times. (Told by the Narrator in every episode except Broken Silence.)

He usually calls the Fat Controller "the Fat Cunt...the Fat Cunt...the Fat Controller" though when he wants to be called The Big Controller he calls him "the Big Cunt...the Big Cunt...the Big Controller". His stuttering always gives people the wrong impression of what he's saying such as when Ernest asks him about when he went on a date with Gale the Guard's Compartment or when Gale was having her time of the month. Stevie is Ernest's best friend who Ernest will usually go to for help. He is the only character which remains on the same track in the series.

He is a parody of Thomas.

Stevie's Most Famous Stutters
What's the Fat Cont--- the Fat Cont--- the Fat Controller complaining about this time?

We can't call the Fat Cont--- the Fat Cont--- the Fat controller--- a Fat Cont--- the Fat Cont--- The Fat Controller anymore.

Now what do we suppose to call the Fat Cont--- The Fat Cont--- The Fat Controller.

Where Suppose to call the Fat Cont--- The Fat Cont--- The Fat Controller--- The Big Cont--- The Big Cont--- The Big Controller.

I hurt McCock--- I hurt McCock--- I hurt McCock--- I hurt McCocksis.

The Fat Cont--- The Fat Cont--- The Fat Cont--- The Fat Controller would be very happy about this.

Sountd to me just we can replace the Fat Controller with a Complete Dick--- A Complete Dick--- A Complete Dick--- A Complete Dick Data.

Ernest is adic--- is adic--- is adic--- is addicted alright.

But You're A Bit Ch--- You're A Bit Ch--- You're A Bit Cheekey Lecturing Us On Drugs

What you need is a big black cock---  a big black cock---  a big black cock---  a big black cockerspaniel.

She tol--- she tol--- she tol---  she told me all about it.

Spiders on any web wide enough to stretch across the whole world are going to be BIG for curs--- BIG for curs--- BIG for curs--- BIG for cursing.

You can go to hel---  go to hel---  you can go to Help Line. They'll give you much better advice than I can give you.

Do you want a Cock---  Cock---  Cock---  Cock Up, Ernest?

8 Much an Old Cunt--- an Old Cunt--- an Old Cunt--- an Old Cunt--- and old Country Boy like me.

Thank god and a Cunt--- and a Cunt--- and a Cunt--- and Cunt--- Thank god of a Country Boy.

Cunt--- Cunt--- Cunt--- Country Man.

Don't Stop you going with your cont--- Your Cont--- Your Cont--- Your Cont--- Your Control.

Three Days always haven't a pool--- Haven't a Pool--- Haven't a Pool--- Haven't a Pool to load faster trains go by.

It's a good thing haven't a quick doug--- A Quick Doug--- A Quick Doug--- I have quick together driver who can skillfuly avoid your accident.

At last a once of week I have full of jees--- Have full of Jees---  Have full of Jesus Freaks, Don't let me think that was a Soil.

Sir Main Cock--- Sir Main Cock--- Sir Main Cock Illeaky

I like to Coming to yor Tick--- Coming to your Tick--- Coming to your Tickety Parade.

Then we Better Sucking Cock--- Sucking Cock--- Sucking Cockly threw a Stray light-away.

Get a Cou--- Get a Cou--- Get a Cou--- Get a Count for your British Children's Literatures foy.

KaKaKaKaKaKaKa! KaKaKaKaKaKa!

I Was Hoping To Forge--- To Forge--- To Forge--- To Forget All About It

I Said "You've Got A Big Arse... Got A Big Arse... A Big Arsenal Football Club Souvenir Collection

I Said "Well Then Just For Coff--- Just For Coff--- Just For Coffee"

Tammy The Tank Girl
Tammy is a Tank Girl who helps with Stevie the Steam Train.

Mallace
Mallace is Ernest' Cousin who helps out.

The Controller
The Controller is the man who runs the railway which Ernest, Stevie and Gale run on. He was originally called the Fat Controller, but he complained to Ernest that he wanted to be called the Big Controller from then on. In recent episodes, he was called the Overweight Controller.

Not much is known about him, but in the drugs episode, it is shown that he has been on ecstacy twice and when he does, he plays duff-duff music over the platform speakers.

He is a parody of Sir Topham Hatt, the Fat Controller.

The Narrator
The Narrator, of course, narrates the episodes. He is not really mentioned in the episodes except for the episode where Gail complains about everybody who can get things done being men. Stevie does not know what he is, always asking when someone mentions him, "What's a narrator?". Ernest thinks that he is even more powerful than the Controller. When Ernest wonders if he said, "and with that, the whiney-leso bitch shunted off back to Whiny-Leso Town where she belonged", Gail would go back to Whiny-Leso Town. And of course, the Narrator said that, and Gail left.

Funding

 * U.S. Department of Education (Reagan Needs Help only)
 * CPB (Reagan Needs Help only)
 * Carnegie Corporation of New York (Reagan Needs Help only) - 2001-2002
 * Park Foundation (Reagan Needs Help only) - 2001-2004
 * The Arthur Vining Davis Foundation (Reagan Needs Help only) - 2001-2002
 * The Charles H. Revson Foundation (Reagan Needs Help only) -  2001-2002
 * Institute for Civil Society (Reagan Needs Help only)
 * Alfred P. Sloan Foundation (Reagan Needs Help only)
 * Ford Foundation (Reagan Needs Help: Fripples only)
 * National Edowment for the Hummanities (Reagan Needs Help: Fripples only)
 * Liberty Mutual (Reagan Needs Help only)
 * Scotts/Miracle Gro. (Reagan Needs Help only)
 * Cheerios (Reagan Needs Help only)
 * Chick-Fil-A (Reagan Needs Help 10/8/2002 only) - October 2002

Parodies

 * 1) Ernest the engine & others/Thomas
 * 2) Ernest the engine & others/TUGS
 * 3) Ernest the engine & others/Superted
 * 4) Ernest the Engine and Others/Young Ones
 * 5) Ernest the Engine and Others/Scooby Doo
 * 6) Ernest the Engine and Others/Bodgy Builder
 * 7) Ernest the Engine and Others/Captain Scarlet
 * 8) Ernest the Engine and Others/Alex the Engine Car and Friends
 * 9) Ernest the Engine and Others/Sesame Park
 * 10) Ernest the Engine & Others/Shining Time Station
 * 11) Ernest the Engine & Others/Sonic