Birthdayface

Transcript
Nathan Explosion Ladies and gentlemen, on bass guitar, William Murderface.

(Crowd chants: Muderface!)

(Murderface pulls down his pants and proceeds to play a bass solo with his penis)

(A fan gets too close, Murderface headbutts him into submission)

Cut to Dethklok's domain

(A hooded servant pours a bowl of coins into Murderface's pants)

Murderface: Right, pour it in, just... easy, easy!

Skwisgaar: Hey, Pickles, tell Murderface what you just told me about that guy... Hilarious.

Pickles: Oh right, that dude that you headbutted? The guy was a Danish prince. Can you believe that? Skwisgaar: Pfft, the Dutch.

Pickles: Oh check it out, he's got a brain contusion, and a fractured skull, oh, and he's last in line for the Danish royalty, that is messed up dude.

Murderface: Well, that's what you get for going after my hog.

Pickles: Awesome.

Skwisgaar: Dude, I would have done the same thing. Dutch.

Pickles: Yeah, well, it's official, I mean, you getting... really... good at headbutting.

Toki: Hey, look at this!

Nathan Explosion: God, E-vites. A birthday party for murderface?

Skwisgaar: Where is it going to be, in a toilet? in a bus station?

Toki: That's brutal.

Skwisgaar: Can you believe, right off the top of my head, just making up, like this...

Pickles: Wait a minute, the guy's a nihlist! What does he want a birthday for?

Murderface E-vite: Inside, outside, up or down, show up if you want, who gives a piss?

Nathan Explosion: Aw, f*** me, we're going to have to get him a gift!

{ Theme Song Plays}

News Anchor: It seems that William Murderface's birthday has thousands of fans rioting in the streets of Paris. Apparantly Murderface made some disparaging remarks about the Who...

(Channel changes)

Murderface: 30'000 pieces of art and whaddya know, they all stink like Shi...

(Channel changes)

French Kid: (French littered with swears)

(Channel chamges back to news anchor)

News Anchor: Fires are raging in the south as four fans celebrate William Murderface's birthday...

(channel changes)

Sniper: Dethklok rules! Happy birthday murderface! yeaahhh woohoo!

(Camera zooms out to reveal war room)

Speaker: We've censored the media since these fans have decided that mass destruction would make a wonderful birthday gift. I believe we're all in great danger.

General: Military's on alert, you have nothing to worry about.

Speaker: Recent polls indicate that half the military are rabid Dethklok fans. Now, if you'll please turn your attention to our birthday expert, Doctor Gibbets.

Gibbets: Yes, William Murderface's charts indicate a deep seated rage, which is split off and repressed at its core. His self-loathing is expressed most publically and unequivically through bodily mutilation, tatooing, alcohol abuse and copraphilia. He blames others for his anger. He displaces his rage and its roots. He seeks punishment, castigation and excommunication! This self destruction is the only way to validate powerful voices he internalized as a child! This, combined with his immense wealth and populatiry, should make for a monumentally horrific birthday.

Cut to Dethklok (minus Murderface) in a board room with their manager

Pickles: How are we supposed to get him a gift? All he wants is morbid crap and he's just about everything, look!

Murderface: (On a screen) ????

(Group mumbles)

Pickles: Can't we just give him some cash? What's the big deal?

Toki: not like purchase anything, like, make something...

Nathan Explosion: And the birthday cake! It's gotta be totally metal. got it?

Skwisgaar: Or maybe like we, get him an endangered species, and then, we could kill it? That'd be cool. I just read about this thing online, you can buy a star and name it, like, what if we named it like, Muhammed Ali, the black prize fighter, that would be his gift... F*** you.

Nathan Explosion: Wait a minute! I got it! We'll give him the blackest, most meaningless gift of all.

Cut to line of cars waiting to get into Dethklok's domain, then inside domain.

Hooded Servant: The queen of Denmark, with her son, Prince Henry.

Queen of Denmark: This is an original manuscript From Pieter Corneliszoon Hooft, Denmark's most famous poet!

Murderface: Was he murdered?

Queen of Denmark: No.

Murderface: How much did it cost?

Queen of Denmark: This is an original ma...

Murderface: Aw just keep it. I am getting the crappiest gifts. What? Are you jibbing me? A Sharpie for my birthday?

Queen of Denmark: He's asking for your autograph!

Skwisgaar: Here, let me sign.

Prince Henry: (Gasp)... ow.

Skwisgaar: You dutch are scum.

Cut to Dethklok's concert hall

Some guy: What is that, metal frosting? That's amazing!

Jean-Pierre: Please do not sample the frosting. It's made of mercury. You will die.

Skwisgaar: This is a complete, total, you know, sausage festival.

Toki: I love sausage festival!

Skwisgaar: What?

Toki: Like in Vienna!

Skwisgaar: No, Toki, that WAS a sausage festival.

Toki: Yeah, that was good!

Skwisgaar: Yeah. Those Viella pork sausages, yum. No, this means that there is no good looking ladies to put you know what into side of them.

Toki: The sausage?

Skwisgaar: Yeah. Anyway. What were you talking about like a second ago? I just, sorry, I cut you off.

Toki: Oh, I gots to make something for Murderface, I gonna make him a macaroni murderlady.

Skwisgaar: I'm sure he'll hate that. Eh, pardon me.

Band is on stage

Nathan Explosion: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the party. As you well know, No party is complete without a birthday party clown. And we have one of the finest Rock and roll clowns around. So please put.. your hands.. tog... yo, here comes the rock and roll clown.

Dr.Rockzo: Ooooh! du-du-du-du-du-du-du Yeeaaahhhh. I'm Dr.Rockzo, the rock and roll clown! I do cocaine! gigigigi I hear it's somebody's birthday! I do cocaine! Dr.Rockzo gonna make you a balloon bass! (Whispered: Seriously, I do a LOT of cocaine.) Try it out! Wait a minute, I think someone's out of tune! Just a little more. You popped a string! Ahaha *choke*

(Murderface forces the balloon down Rockzo's throat, Rockzo is beaten by hooded servants.)

Murderface: Well what did you expect from ME? Other than the worst party of the history of birth!

Nathan Explosion: Check, check, murder, slash. That's good!

{Birthday/Dethday Plays}

Nathan Explosion: And now, the blackest present for the most brutal of all bass players. NOTHING!

Murderface: Oh, you suck! You all suck!

(Everyone mumbles, Come on! What's wrong?)

Skwisgaar: I want all my records back ????

Pickles: Hey fatso! We got your favourite thing! disappointment!

Murderface goes into his room

Murderface: I guess this is a good time to start my side band, planet piss. I shall send for the rest of my parcels in the morning.

(He climbs out the window, but runs into a helicopter carrying the rest of the band)

Nathan Explosion: Attention, you big baby.

Skwisgaar: Ah, what are you doing, going for a crybaby walk?

Murderface: Hey! Why's everybody wearing camouflage? Joining the marines?

Nathan Explosion: We wanted to, uh, surprise you. The outfits...

Murderface: Like a stupid navy SEAL!

Nathan Explosion: That's part of the surprise.

Murderface: Why?

Nathan Explopsion: Because! It makes us harder to see! That's awesome.

Pickles: Hey douchebag! Happy birthday!

(A car drops from the sky)

Nathan Explosion: Well, what do you think?

Toki: Big fat tires and everything!

Murderface: But I already got like a million limos!

Pickles: Dude, not like this one! This is the limo that Kennedy got his brain smashed open in with a bullet.

Nathan Explosion: It's all souped up, and desacrated.

Skwisgaar: Yeah, dude, and the driver's seat is the chair from like where president Lincoln was shot, and assassinated in

Pickles: And you're entered in the first ever Dethklok Dethmolition Klokama???? Death derby!

Loki: And I made you this macaroni murderlady! What used to be the ??redhots from the blood where I ate them??

Murderface: You mean I get to destroy United States history, literally?! AAAAGGGHHHH! ????

{More of Birthday/Dethday Plays over credits}