NYWiki:Foamy Fan Mail

Episode 13

Foamy recieves e-mails from fans, both valid and horny.

Cast (in order of appearance): Foamy, Cave Dweller

Transcript
{A laptop, a bagel, and a soda lie on a desk.}

Foamy: Okay. This cartoon is going to be dedicated to your fan mail. That’s right! I’ve been getting a lot of fan mail, and sometimes I feel the need to respond, in kind, to some of the nifty comments that I receive. So, let’s start with {holds letter} this one. {reads and speaks} Dear Foamy: Your last cartoon was disappointing. I think you could do a lot better, blah blah blah. Signed, some shmuck. {speaks} Well, here’s my response. {types and speaks} Dear asshole: You can go fuck yourself, because I don’t give two shits what you think. If you got shot in the head today by your own mother, I wouldn’t care. I hope you grow up to have many children, and each one of them has his throat slit and have their guts taken out of their own body and smeared down your throat. How do you like that? What I find disappointing is your lack of creative sentence structure within your e-mail. You are a poor example of a human being. Have a nice day, thank you for watching, and please come again. Sincerely yours, your lord and master, Foamy. {speaks, holds next letter} Next letter! {reads and speaks} Dear Foamy: Your cartoons are funny, and I like that goth chick. {speaks} Okay, well, it’s a short letter, and I appreciate it nonetheless. {types and speaks} Dear short letter writer: Thank you for your kind words. I appreciate it, and I wish nothing bad on you. Thank you, and please come again. Signed, your lord and master, Foamy. {speaks} Next Letter! {squeals} next letter! Oh yeah! {hold next letter} Okay, let’s see what we’ve got here. {reads and speaks} Dear Foamy: Your stories are stupid, I don’t like you, and how come that goth chick in your cartoons is never naked? {speaks} Well... {types and speaks} Dear cock sucker: You are a complete moron for the following reasons. One, you have no sense of humor. Two, you want to see a person naked who doesn’t even really exist. It’s just a few frames of animation. Are you out of your mind? Are you completely stupid? {eyes grow wider} Are you living in a complete fantasy land where all you want to see is naked cartoons? Are you completely out of your mind? {eyes return to normal size} Signed, sincerely, your lord and master, Foamy the squirrel. {speaks} All right, let's see. {holds letter} This one had better be good. I’m getting sick of this. {reads and speaks} Dear Foamy: Let’s see, ya, blah blah blah blah... naked naked... {speaks} Why does everyone want to see this girl naked? Naked, naked, naked, naked, naked, throw out, throw out, {crumples letter and throws off screen} burn, burn, burn, burn, burn... {reads and speaks} Dear Foamy: Um, I live in a cave, and I still manage to see your cartoons via the “inter-web” via satellite, through my cell phone, delivered by camel.

{The view cuts to Cave Dweller in a cave.}

Cave Dweller: {points to laptop, voice echoing} This squirrel is so fucking funny! {The view cuts back to Foamy.} Foamy: {types and speaks} Dear Cave Dweller: I appreciate that you like my cartoons and hope that you find some suitable habitat to dwell in. Thank you for your letter. Your lord and master, Foamy. {speaks} Ah, all right, you know what? I’m done with this shit. You know, you people and your fan mail. You know I can’t please everybody, man! All right? Just leave me alone!

{The Ending screen appears.} Cave Dweller: Oh, praise Allah! He’s written back to me!

Explanations

 * A habitat is a place where a particular species lives and grows.

Remarks

 * Foamy breaks the fourth wall by saying that Germaine "doesn't even really exist" and is "just a few frames of animation".
 * Cave Dweller writes that he sees Foamy's cartoons through his cell phone, yet when he appears, he's watching on a laptop.

Real World References

 * Allah is the Islamic concept of God.