Stranded Sketch 1

This is Stranded Sketch #1 from Season 2 of The Amanda Show.

Transcript

 * Narrator: This is a 1971 luxury convertible. We locked six strange people in this car stranded in the middle of a parking lot in Downtown, Oklahoma. These strange people are: Tony Pajamas, Mr. Gullible, Debbie, Judge Trudy, The Bailiff, and a Dancing Lobster. [the agents force the people in the car] The rules: you leave the car, you lose. The prize goes to the last person remaining in the car. [the cash register rings] $1,000,000. [an agent slaps Tony Pajamas' hand] Now, let's see how long these strange people can stand each other in a locked car... [one of the agents puts the case in the trunk and the Stranded logo appears] stranded. Day 1.
 * [Judge Trudy bangs her gavel behind the windshield]
 * Judge Trudy: I hearby call this competition to order.
 * Tony Pajamas: Hey, this ain't no courtroom and you ain't judge here.
 * Debbie: I like eggs.
 * Tony Pajamas: Who gives a rat's hat?
 * Mr. Gullible: My name is Mr. Gullible. I bet ya I'll win the $1,000,000.
 * Tony Pajamas: Hey, Gullible. Go fetch me a soda.
 * Mr. Gullible: But if I exit the vehicle, I lose.
 * Tony Pajamas: Oh, no, no, no. Uh, they changed the rules.
 * Mr. Gullible: Really?
 * All: Yeah.
 * Mr. Gullible: Oh. Well, if that's what the rules say, then I'd be happy to fetch you a soda. [unlocks the door and gets out, but the siren wails and the agents take him away] Wait, no, but they didn't change the rules! What? I'm angry with all of you!
 * Tony Pajamas: [takes his toothpick out] One down.
 * Narrator: With Mr. Gullible gone, [Mr. Gullible's name gets taken down] only five participants remain. Day 7.
 * The Bailiff: Man, I gotta get something to eat.
 * Tony Pajamas: Me too. I'm starvin' over here.
 * Dancing Lobster: [mumbles]
 * Tony Pajamas: [points to the lobster] I'm gonna eat this lobster.
 * The Bailiff: Not if I eat him first.
 * [they tackle him and he falls out of the car. the siren wails and he runs away, but the agents take him away]
 * Agent #1: Come on, you're coming with us.
 * The Bailiff: Two down.
 * Narrator: [the Dancing Lobster's name gets taken down] Only four participants remain.
 * Debbie: I like eggs. I like eggs. Eggs, I like. I like the eggs.
 * Judge Trudy: Look, kumquat. Unless you got some eggs, I suggest you shut your headhole before you let stupid juice all over the place.
 * Debbie: I like eggs.
 * Judge Trudy: That's it! [tries to tackle her but The Bailiff and Tony Pajamas stop her]
 * Narrator: They're hungry, they're tired and now on day 20, it's time to vote one of their own out of the car. Who will it be?
 * Debbie: I like eggs. I like eggs. I like eggs. [Judge Trudy holds up a "Debbie" sign] I like eggs. I like eggs. [Tony Pajamas holds up a "Debbie" sign with a "Y" at the end] I like eggs. [The Bailiff holds up a "Debbie" sign] I like eggs. [holds up an "eggs" sign and the siren wails] I like eggs. [the agents open the door and take her out] I like eggs. I like eggs. [she gets taken away]
 * Judge Trudy: Three down.
 * [Debbie's name gets taken down]
 * The Bailiff: You know, I like eggs too.
 * Judge Trudy: [bangs her gavel] Silence!
 * The Bailiff: Excuse me.
 * Narrator: Day 34, three contestants remain. They've eaten nothing yet over a month. They don't smell good. [The Bailiff chews on the seat] They're desperate for food. They resort to eating parts of the car. [Tony Pajamas eats part of the steering wheel and Judge Trudy eats one part] No one expected what happened next.
 * Tony Pajamas: So say a friend of mine steals this kid's bicycle, right? But nobody see me, I mean that sees him do it. But I mean that he is my friend. Get in trouble for this or what?
 * Judge Trudy: You disgust me.
 * [police siren wails]
 * Tony Pajamas: That don't answer my question.
 * Policeman: Tony Pajamas.
 * Tony Pajamas: Pa-jah-mahs.
 * Policeman: [open the door and Tony Pajamas almost falls out] You're under arrest for stealing out bicycle.
 * Tony Pajamas: Who squealed on me?
 * Policeman: You did. We were watching the show.