Fraggle Rock/Money (from The Muppet Show)

Cast

 * Gobo Fraggle as Kermit the Frog
 * Convincing John as Dr. Teeth
 * Philo as Statler
 * Gunge as Waldorf
 * Marjory the Trash Heap as Hilda

Lyrics
(Main stage. Gobo enters to applause.)

Gobo Fraggle: Thank you, thank you, thank you! All right! Here we are once again with another great show for you, with our special guest star, Mr. Sir Blunderbrain. And all of this — all of this is coming to you, by the way, from the Benny Vandergast Memorial Theater. Uh, we on The Fraggle Show owe everything to Benny. Including three months back rent. So in lieu of the rent, here's the fantastic Convincing John with "Money." Yeahhhh!

( Convincing John plays "Money" for the opening number. As the song reaches its climax, Convincing John pulls a lever on the side of his piano, and it acts as a lotto machine, pouring out bills and coins.)

Convincing John: Don't want no loving, don't want no kissing Don't want no girl to call me honey Don't want my name in the hall of fame Just want a big fat pile of money Give me that almighty dollar For that lettuce, hear me holler Give me buckets full of ducats Let me walk around and wallow In mazuma, el dinero Wanna be a millionaire-oh Give me money, money, money, money, money I want that green ammunition That's the stuff for which I'm wishing Fill my closets with deposits I'm a demon in addition Give me shekels, give me pesos, let me see their smiling face-ohs Money, money, money, money, money Wanna get me a suit that's made out of loot And whistle "The Wearing of the Green" I've got that monetary-itis, like to be just like King Midas Want that golden touch is what I mean Give me that old double eagle Want that tender that is legal And financially substantial Any sum I can inveigle Wanna live in regal splendor with that loving legal tender Money, money, money, money, money I'm a greenback collector, I'm a paper-bill inspector I'm a savage for that cabbage Man, to me it's golden nectar Pour that filthy lucre on me Spread those loving germs upon me Money, money, money, money, money And if they ever plant trees of e pluribus unum I wanna be the guy that they send out to prune 'em Oh, give me money, money, Whoo, money, money, money Money!

Philo: They don't write the old songs anymore.

Gunge: Nope. They only write new ones.

Philo: Yeah. Wha?

( Marjory the Trash Heap follows Convincing John past Gobo, carrying the prop money.)

Marjory the Trash Heap: Oh, Convincing John, you are one hip dude.

Gobo Fraggle: Nice number, nice number. Don't lose any of that money though.

Marjory the Trash Heap: Oh, I won't. I won't.