GBoK Mythology

Cabbage Mythology
Mythology is a part of any cult. The Order of Cabbage has their own Mythology section, found in the |Green Book of Knowledge.

Cabbage Mythology, By Ionzeal
In the beginnings of days, whence only the Overbeing resided within all the vast emptiness of space, he longed for Life, and Life wouldst he have. Henceforth the Overbeing Created the Orbs as the Orbs could suThe History of the Gods, and their creation, Kahbahgee. stain life He so desired. With one hand He held on the point of His finger the essence of what He dubbed "Earth". With his other hand He Spun the essence so that it formed the planets.

But, these planets where lifeless, even as the void was. And the Overbeing Spake to all that he had created. "Be!" and there was. For each planet he created Five other beings, of less stature than Himself. These beings where called "Gods" and it was good.

Eventualy, it was realized that the Overbeing could not join all of what he made in a single instant, and the Gods where dismayed. So each of the Five Gods on every Orb created creatures and where called "Mortals" and they where pleased well with them, as they where of good intent towards Gods, and knew no will.

On the Orb of Gleinor there where Five Gods, even as the other planets. There was Saradonim, Zamorack, Cralashankas, Zaros, and Avlic. They lived in peace and harmony for eons and Created the first "Sentient Mortals". Saradonim created the "Humans" who could do anything they set their mind to, as they where very versatial and adapted well.

When the other Four Gods saw these first "Sentient Mortals" they where spiteful of the Mortals devotion to Saradonim, so each God took to creating his own Mortal. This took many years and they where soon finished.

Avlic created the "Dwarves". They where a sturdy race, who could craft anything from their hands. Soon the dwarves realized that many materials for they're skills could be found Under the surface of the Earth. They short stature was to their advantage underground, as it saved them digging large hallways. They where the creaters of the pick, wich helped them gain powerful metals, wich they used in the art of Metalwrought to make more stable structures under the ground.

Zaros created the Ogres, who where not as Smart as their fellow mortals, but where much larger and stronger. The society never branched out and had But one village. Zaros saw that he could gain followers also by taking the minds of other mortals, and so he silently subverted many Humans to his realm, so that they could marry with the Ogers and create the Giants, who where a bit smarter than the Ogres.

Cralashanka created the Elves. The Elves took to the forests, and became the most Scholarly race. They where long and slender, with pointed ears and Nightsight. Cralashanka created few elves, only near one thousand. They lived in complete bliss with theyre god, and withdrew like the Ogres, from others, but for different reasons.

Zamorack, not to be outdone by any of the Gods, created the Daemons. Grotescely large, taller than an ogre, but shorter than a giant. Stronger than any dwarf. As cunning as the elves. And a bit less adaptable than a Human. They where bright red, with horns, sharp teeth, and claws, so they did not have to rely on tools to get food. They lived in caves.

Word of the "Sentient Mortals" got around the Cosmos. One planet carried it to extremes and created a race that in many ways, where far more powerful than any God. This race Rebelled against their Gods, and the Overbeing went over countless distance to put a stop to it.

The Beings combined their will, and set themselves against the might of the Overbeing, and subdued the Gods as well to fight The Overbeing. When it was clear that they oculd not stop the endless power of the Overbeing, they decided that they would, not even in death, accept him. They destroyed themselves for the purpose of unleashing their power towards the Overbeing. But the power that was unleashed destroyed a neighboring planet as well, and that planets power destroyed another planet, and this repeated in a clataclismic fall of many beings. The overbeing was caught directly in the middle of this and was henceforth eradicated from existance, and then doubled the power of the wave of energy spreading in all directions. This destroyed nearly 80 thousand planets, and spared only a few thousand, scattered abouts.

Gleinor Survived this most epic of disasters. In that instant Zamorack steeled himself from trust, and did the opposite ; hated. His hate led him to his evil. Saradonim wept for many generations and became a melancholy God. Cralashankas left his race, the Elves, and gave them the gift of "Kahbahgee" so that the elves wouldst remember him through that food. Zaros took the same path as Zamorack, and then suddenly disapeared, but was not sought, as the Gods where to greif stricken. Avlic wept even as Saradonim did.

Generations past, as generations have a tendancy to do, ans slowly the Gods came out of morning, though Zamos did not come back and Cralashankas still remained in suclusion. All was going well, if not happily.

Then Zamos reamerged with a bang. He had been in the realm of hell, the underworld, and had braught back with him the hordes of the undead, pure evil. Quickly Zamorack raised his own army, the army of chaos, and the first war in the universe began, and with it began the Age of Doom. The battles where incredible and unending.

The elves where in the way of the two armies though, as they resided in the Midlulands, between the Daemon land of Glothdmire and the Undead land of Shovogin. quickly the Elven ones took to their ships, but not quickly enough. most where eradicated, but few manage to sail to distant lands. This brought Cralashankas out of mouring and went to the Aid of Avlic, who was using his dwarves talent with metal to construct defensive shells, wich dwarves called "Alglovth" or "Armour"

The armour was given to the humans, who had nothing to protect them. The dwarves needed no armour, because they had the protection of the earth in their tunnels.

But then, Cralashankas decided that the mortals shouldst not be brought into the struggle, and so then he joined hands with Avlic and went to confront Zaros head on. Even as the ancient race that had killed the Overbeing did, the two Gods realized that they could not defeat Zaros now that he had infused himself with the evil spirits of Death, and Aflic and Cralashankas threw their combined wills at Zaros and by obliterating themselves,obliterated him.

In that explosion, the world was torn usunder, and a new God was formed to take the Place of the three destroyed Gods. This new God was Guthix, God of balance. And since nothing more of great Import has happened, although the Spirit of Zaros may be stirring once more...

History of the Green Menace, By SoutenNoBalmung
Now, some of you may be asking, Who the hell is the Blue Menace? You see, kiddies, it all started back at Cabbagepalooza #1

Yours truly, the former Trimmed Man, was attending for the hell of it. Then, as you may or may not know, the dreaded Cabbage Fiend struck(See the History of Cabbage Fiend topic for more info). It was my duty to protect the simple-minded people at the event, so I lashed out into battle. I was stopped by a strange looking creature. He was almost human-like in appearance, but his face resembled a blue demon. We quarreled a while before deciding to team up and defeat the Cabbage Fiend together. During the fight, I dubbed my sidekick, the Blue Menace. He seemed to like it. Anyway, that is the Blue Menace, if you didn't know him. One of the saviors of Cabbagepalooza #1.

Now, for the good part, The History of the Blue Menace:


 * screen fades to black*

Our tale brings us back in time, against the laws of all we know to be true

Back in the day, before the Order of Cabbage was even founded, the gods blessed the land with their mighty presence. Life fluttered all over the land. From the majestic seas, the never-ending plains, the world was truly great. However, in life, there are always two sides to the coin. The god of destruction and evil, Zamorak, "blessed" the world with corruption and demons. I guess you could say we got out just desserts, for nothing can be too good, or too bad, just a balance. But on one of these days, very strong monsters appeared from strange portals, that sprouted like weeds across the world. These monsters seemed normal, but there was something strange about them. For example, from a distance, you would probably say a red monster with horns was a Lesser Demon, however, when you got closer, it had strange markings on its body. It was strange, almost like some sort of writing covered these monsters, that emitted an eerie, green glow. These monsters, which we'll refer to as fiends from now on, wreaked havoc all over the place. From Varrock, to Falador, nothing was safe.

It was decided that Zamorak was behind this. Almost unbeatable fiends prowled the lands, causing pain, fear, and destruction to where ever they went. Saradomin and the greatest dwarven blacksmith of all time, banded together. They saw the corruption, and seeked to bring it to an end. Saradomin used his godly powers, and the Dwarven blacksmith used all aspects of metalworking known to him, to bring forth powerful masks.

These masks resembled the faces of demons (So it would be easier to deceive the fiends, and get close to them), and were even colored like some of them. The purpose of them was to have a very strong fighter wear the mask, then he or she would then be given unbelievable power. The downside was, that so the masks would not fall into the wrong hands, it would make the wielder a fiend themselves(In time). Many of the masks were made, and many people wore them. The fiends soon receded to the portals from whence they came. After time, the saviors of the world, did become fiends, and they had the urge to destroy. Then, a very brave man came forth. No one knows his name, or what he looks like(He is rumored to be some sort of a powerful mage or priest), but he helped the saviors of the world. One by one, he used a special skill, which forcibly liberated mask and wielder. He then destroyed the masks, so no one could ever use them again.

After liberating one particular mask, the man smashed it up into many pieces (As he always did). But something strange happened,the pieces...Reassembled to form the mask again! It levitated up into the air and spoke:

''It is good of you to stop the newly created fiends. However, the world needs to be balanced. It can not be all good, or all bad. This is where I must intervene.''

The mask then propelled itself onto the man's face!! Then slowly, but surely, blue robes covered the man's body. Next, an amulet appeared, and it threw itself onto the man's chest. He screamed in pain, but nothing could help assuage the pain. Finally, a very powerful staff appeared (named Ludicrous), and the man instinctively grabbed it.

From that point onward, he was a fiend-human hybrid. A creation used to balance the world. His power was immense, and he put it to use. It is said that he decimated an entire town in the far eastern corner of the world.

Saradomin, noting that the man(Not yet known as the Blue Menace) had grown too strong (The masks were to balance the evil and good against the fiends, but now the man himself had become too strong of a fiend, probably an error made by the Dwarven blacksmith). Saradomin sent a being to stop the man. However, the same error wouldn't be made, this new being would die after his purpose was fulfilled.

The new being bore the resemblance of a human. He had slicked back brown hair, and his body was covered in a green and blue war paint. He also carried a large sword with him. The new being battled the cursed man, but it was even all the way through. The being then destroyed himself. If the man saw self sacrifice, something he had never seen before, it was possible that it would wake up the human part of him. The being succeeded, and the man had regained his mind again, but, his body was no longer what it was. He had the face of a demon, and his body was covered in an endless sea of blue. This was the new way that the mask would balance the world. The man would had regained his mind, but when people saw him, it created fear, racism, hate, and segregation in their hearts.

The man's purpose became clear. He was to be hated and feared for the rest of his life(So people would have a taste of both worlds). Knowing this, the man wandered for many years on end. But, through his travels, the man met people who did not fear him (They did not care about physical appearances, only what was inside of him). He thought that maybe he could get on everyone's good side again. The man did good deeds, sometimes he was thanked, other times he was chased away. Either way, the man did what he could to better the world. He did this for a few years, until that fateful day, when he sensed the Cabbage Fiend's presence at Cabbagepalooza. If many people saw him save innocent people from the Cabbage Fiend, it was possible that the man did not have to hide anymore! It was possible he did not have to wander anymore. It was possible he could return to his normal life.

The History of the Cabbage Fiend, By SoutenNoBalmung
Hello, boys and girls. You can see that my name is Souten no Balmung, but if you attended Cabbagepalooza #1, you may know of the Trimmed Man, and his faithful sidekick, The Blue Menace. It's time you people knew. *Puts on a Rune Large(t)* Yes, I am Trimmed Man. And you know Blue Menace to be *dun dun dun* Aqua/Iron Gorilla(I can't remember which one it was tongue.gif) Anyway, we are experts in the field, when it comes to the Cabbage Fiend.

As you may, or may not know, the Cabbage Fiend is a vile creature. He is covered in dark, emerald scales, all over his torso and legs. However, (A mutation probably) his arms and wings are made from a much smoother substance. We are not sure what, after researching him for 20 years. Now, we move to the head of Cabbage Fiend. It is truly a gut-wrenching site. Most people have gone blind by even looking at him, while some have died, just by smelling him. CF(Cabbage Fiend) has two, pearl colored, monstrous horns on the left, and right side of his head. He has pitch black eyes, and chalk, colored fangs. They are rumored to carry a Cabbage infecting virus.

Truly a menace to society. It was a mere 20 years ago, that CF appeared. It was a sunny day, in the Cabbage field south of Falador. The farmer attending those fields had just jumped the stile, to harvest his green gold. He mananged to pick all the cabbage except for one. Well, being a good natured farmer, he took a pitch fork, and stabbed it. What happened next, surprised him. The suposed head of cabbage rose out the ground. Next, it morphed into the monster you see above. Frightened, the farmer ran for the White Knights. Tis a shame he didn't make it. I was an eye-witness. I tried to help the farmer, but Cabbage Fiend overpowered me. To this day, I still own the scars from that fateful encounter.

Some wonder, why did the cabbage head, change into CF? We do not know. But Blue Menace hypothesizes that it was a failed attempt by a noob wizard, to summon the undead. We can only go by this for now. For a while, Blackbane has been picking many cabbages. This excited the CF. I was there to make sure no one got hurt(At Cabbagepalooza #1, and a little at #2). It was there I met Blue Menace. He made a costume similar to CF, to attract him, so we could slay him once and for all. It was the day we have been waiting for. CF appeared and started to ransack the defenseless cabbage. I, Trimmed Man, and Blue Menace rushed to stop him. He was a fast one...he eventually overpowered us. But, Blue Menace was bitten by CF. He was infected with a virus that clouded his thoughts, and he failed to follow my orders. I luckily hit him over the head with a cabbage, and he came back to normal. *sigh* CF evaded us another time. But, I started eating Cabbage during a fight, and it seemed to weaken the monster.

I have retired for RuneScape, and the Blue Menace has given up his title. Tis a new day and age. Another Trimmed Man and Blue Menace needs to rise again. We may be gone, but we will be there in spirit. Its the beginnig of a legend for someone out there. Protect Cabbagepalooza #3, and slay that Cabbage Fiend for me...

The uniform of the Trimmed Man: Full rune(t) and kite(t). Grey boots, gold gloves, diamond amulet of power, and a Blue cape. Also, a Rune battle axe.

The uniform of the Blue Menace: Blue mask, Blue Wizard's robe, and Blue skirt. A sapphire amulet of magic, and a staff(Help me out Blue Menace, I forgot what you wore)

Blackbane is our future for cabbagepicking. Protect him at all costs. CF took a liking to Blackbane, because of all the cabbage he smelled on him. With that in mind, stop the Cabbage Fiend. End his attack on people and cabbage alike.

The Adventures of Blackbane
From the Journals of Ignite, Acolyte of the OoC, End of the First Age.

Cabbage picking Blacky Bane was walking down the road,

Collecting all his cabbages, large loads after load.

His head held up a chefs hat,

Though he would not cook,

All the little cabbages from the patch he took.

He’d always pass Diango

As well an Imp you’d find!

He’d insult them always;

And kick ‘em all the time.

“Well not this day,” he said.

For he was in a hurry.

“An order I shall start,

And pick cabs so I must scurry!”

So off he set out quickly,

Without any a care,

For he knew he’d find insanity,

Waiting for him there.

He soon found Drag of Air,

Jfp two-two-one,

Woad and Boot and Mummi

who was sitting on his bum

Blackbane sat himself

Down up on the stile.

Told them of his dream

Which of course took quite a while

“We’ll Go!” They all cried out,

as they jumped up off their seats.

So delighted they were, yes,

that Boot came off of feets.

They continued on their way

Further down Cab field,

Were they found new members,

To Blackbane they appealed.

Soon he found some more friends,

Too many to name them all,

They set HQ, at Cab field,

And there they’d have a ball.

They picked and picked and picked,

And when their goal was reached...

Cabbagepalooza was its name,

But something near had screeched.

Out from out of nowhere,

With scales all em’rald green,

Two horns he had upon his head

For he was Cabbage Fiend.

Terrorizing cabbages

And charging t’wards Blackbane

For cabbage was what he wanted;

And that was Blackbane’s game.

All seemed lost till bright light shone

And down from up the heavens.

Trimmed Man came crashing down

And Cabbage Fiend was gone.

“He’ll be back,” the Trimmed Man said

(Souten if you must know)

“For cabbage fiend is not yet dead

And he’s a mighty foe.”

He left them now in peaceful peace,

And Blue Menace too,

But still he lies in shadows,

For the Fiend they had not slew.

More time had passed since then,

OOC still would grow,

Events they held and had,

And Cab bombs they would blow.

They picked them one by one,

For pleasure and for fun.

The cabbage had united.

That, Blackbane had done.

Falters and Fellowships
From the Journals of Ignite, Acolyte of the Ooc, End of the First Age.

Our cabbage picking company continued on our quest,

Gathering the kah-bah-gee; doing what was best.

All kingdoms’ land was covered, with vast numbers of green gold.

We’d see our numbers escalate and watch our fate unfold.

Darkness overcame us.

New members came too fast.

None of them were devoted,

Like members in the past.

Winter came upon us, as Cabbage fell asleep.

Coldness went over us and duties we cold not keep.

Our bodies froze in ice, but our souls set out to wander,

For what reason did we dream of other worlds I ponder.

Warmth came about, our icy cage thawed out.

We looked around in horror and we gave a frightened shout.

We’d slept for far too long; Our Kingdom almost gone.

No one seen was happy, no dancing and no song.

We went to Blackbane’s chamber, filled with much despair.

Only to find out, that our leader wasn’t there.

We rushed out of the building, for no head wore the crown

But he who once was king, was nowhere to be found.

Our realm began to crumble; some began to falter,

The great Sacred Stile, no longer their altar.

Some members left, the fellowships broken.

Some of them left without ‘farewell’ spoken.

All seemed lost, all hope was gone.

But a shout was heard as it neared dawn.

Acolytes raised heads, looked ‘twards the light.

“We shall not loose, for we shall fight.”

With Mummi, Blah and others

Along with g k 8

We gather sisters, brothers

For we’d improve our fate.

Together we took council

Shared ideas and our thoughts

Decided what to do;

The cans from the cannots.

Soon the land we lived on

Was gradually rebuilt

Our trust pulled us together

Blade returned to hilt.

But where was Blackbane you might ask?

Well he is far from dead.

We found a letter on his desk

And this is what it said...

“Kah Bah Gee to everyone. I’ll see you in next Age.

I leave for you all to write the cult’s next page.

Feel free to organize the cult, as how you would desire,

Choose your own fellows to lead this Cab Empire.

I fear I must stay low,

For places I must go.

I’m sorry I cannot lead

For now I must recede.

You may wait for my return

Then maybe luck will turn.

Though things won’t be the same,

Good bye friends from Blackbane”

...So once again we started

To pick cabs where we were

Picking up the cabbages,

Helping land prosper.

Though right now he cannot lead us

His spirit is still with us

Cause cabbage is his thing.

We wait for our great King

With the cult reformed

We’ll contunue on our quest,

Gathering the kah-bah-gee,

Doing what is best.