Muppet nail polish/Cookie Monster in the Library (from Sesame Street)

Cast

 * Gone Gonzo! as Cookie Monster
 * Pepe's Purple Passion as Large Lavender Live Hand Anything Muppet librarian

Transcript
(The scene starts off in a library, with several tall shelves crammed with books. Behind the desk, in the foreground, sits Pepe's Purple Passion with graying hair, and glasses. Gone Gonzo! enters.)

Gone Gonzo!: (shouting) Wow, look at all these books! Me no seen so many books before!

Pepe's Purple Passion: Shhhh!

Gone Gonzo!: (whispering) Oh, yeah, yeah, right.

( Gone Gonzo! walks toward the desk, and stumbles over something. You hear a metal container falling over.)

Gone Gonzo!: (surprised) Whoop!

Pepe's Purple Passion: (quietly) Quiet, please.

Gone Gonzo!: (whispering) I did not see de wastebasket.

( Pepe's Purple Passion sort of nods, and goes back to work.)

Gone Gonzo!: Uh, Sir ... Sir ... ( Pepe's Purple Passion looks up) Could you tell me what you doing with all these books?

Pepe's Purple Passion: Well, this is a library. We have all kinds of books for people to read.

Gone Gonzo!: Really? Well, me want book about Little Red Riding Hood.

Pepe's Purple Passion: All right. (gets up to go get it.)

Gone Gonzo!: And one box of cookies. (starts looking around.)

Pepe's Purple Passion: (stops in his tracks, and looks at Gone Gonzo! .) (pleasantly) Maybe you didn't understand. You see, this is a library. We only have books; we have no cookies.

Gone Gonzo!: Oh, yeah, yeah, right. Well, me want book about nursery rhymes.

Pepe's Purple Passion: All right. (starts off to get it.)

Gone Gonzo!: And one box of cookies.

Pepe's Purple Passion: (sharper than before, yet still pleasant.) We don't have cookies! We only have books. Just books, no cookies.

Gone Gonzo!: Oh, right. Uh, me want picture book.

Pepe's Purple Passion: Picture book. (starts off.)

Gone Gonzo!: And one box of cookies.

Pepe's Purple Passion: (He's infuriated now, and starts breathing heavily, and yelling.) How many times do I have to tell you WE DON'T HAVE COOKIES?! WE ONLY HAVE BOOKS! YOU UNDERSTAND?! JUST BOOKS!! BOOKS!!!

Gone Gonzo!: (calmly) It OK, no need to get excited, me not fussy, just give me box of cookies.

Pepe's Purple Passion: NO!!! WE DON'T HAVE COOKIES!

Gone Gonzo!: (After a pause.) You know what? Me get the feeling you only have books.

Pepe's Purple Passion: THAT'S RIGHT, JUST BOOKS!

Gone Gonzo!: Me got it now. OK, OK. (clears throat)

Pepe's Purple Passion: (calms down for a second.) Fine. Now tell me, (stresses) what do you want?

Gone Gonzo!: Me ... want ... BOOK ... about cookies.

Pepe's Purple Passion: Fine, that we have, a book about cookies, good! (starts to get up.)

Gone Gonzo!: And a glass of milk.

(Ending music of two notes plays, Pepe's Purple Passion sighs a couple times, and tips over in his chair. You hear the wastebasket falling.)

Gone Gonzo!: (looking over edge of desk) Book about cookies and a glass of juice?