Mr. Conductor Meets Ed, Edd 'n' Eddy

Based on the Mr. Conductor’s Adventure Movies and all those Mr. Conductor’s Adventure Series, Mr. Conductor Meets Ed, Edd n Eddy is a series featuring George Carlin as Mr. Conductor. Each episode will have 2 Thomas stories. Only Thomas stories from Seasons 1-7 can be used. No stories from Season 8-present allowed.

Minor Guest Stars

 * Schemer
 * Mr. Conductor (Ringo Starr)

Thomas Stories

 * 1) Thomas Gets Tricked (The Ed-Touchables)
 * 2) Edward Helps Out (Nagged To An Ed)

Thomas Stories

 * 1) Percy Takes The Plunge (Pop Goes The Ed)
 * 2) The Trouble With Mud (Over Your Ed)

Trivia

 * "Percy Takes The Plunge" is restored

Thomas Stories

 * 1) Thomas Meets The Queen (Sir Ed-A-Lot)
 * 2) A Big Day For Thomas

Quotes

 * Sarah: Bye Bye!
 * Eddy: Ed! Get me out!
 * (Mr. Conductor appears)
 * Mr. Conductor: You really like being a queen, don't you, Sarah?
 * Jimmy: AAAHHHH!!!!!! A little man!!!!!
 * Mr. Conductor: Relax, Jimmy. I am not going to hurt you. Let me properly introduce myself. Mr. Conductor at your service.
 * Jimmy: H-hi, Mr. Conductor. How did you know my name?
 * Mr. Conductor: My friends, the Eds told me about you.
 * Sarah: And me?
 * Mr. Conductor: Absolutely, I remember you when I first arrived at Peach Creek and I have a friend named Thomas The Tank Engine along with many others on the Island Of Sodor.
 * Jimmy: Ooh... I want to hear about him!
 * Mr. Conductor: Well, I heard the other day, Thomas had met the queen.
 * Jimmy: Thomas met the queen?!
 * Eddy: I bet that queen wasn't a spoiled brat like Sarah!
 * Sarah: I HEARD THAT, STUPID!
 * Eddy: (groans)
 * Sarah: Tell me and Prince Jimmy about the queen, Mr. Conductor.
 * Edd: Yes, please tell us about it, Mr. Conductor.
 * Mr. Conductor: Oh yes.... (Blows whistle and "Thomas Meets The Queen" begins)

Trivia

 * Some of the scenes come from the Shining Time Station episode, "Queen For A Day"

Thomas Stories

 * 1) Mind That Bike (George Carlin, Read All About Ed)
 * 2) Something in the Air (Alec Baldwin, Quick Shot Ed)

Quote 1

 * (Mr. Conductor appears)
 * Edd: Why hello, Mr. Conductor.
 * Mr. Conductor: Hello, Edd! What's with all of these newspapers?
 * Eddy: We're trying to deliver all of these papers.... for jawbreakers!!!!!!
 * Mr. Conductor: Sounds like a fine idea. Do you know who you'd be good friends with, Thomas and Percy's friend, Tom Tipper.
 * Edd: Is Tom Tipper an engine, too?
 * Mr. Conductor: My, no! Tom Tipper is a postman. He loved helping the 2 engines deliver the mail, but the other day, Tom thought he wouldn't deliver the mail as soon as it used to be.
 * Edd: My! Did Tom Tipper develop any sort of dilemmas?
 * Eddy: Much like my luck.
 * Mr. Conductor: Well, he had a little problem with Percy's train. Let me show you what I mean by that. (Blows whistle and "Mind That Bike" begins)

Quote 2

 * Mr. Conductor: Taking pictures of others seems rather underhanded, Eddy.
 * Eddy: Ah, what could happen, Mr. C?
 * Mr. Conductor: Well for one, the trouble you'd cause for them might come back at you. For instance, you could end up as bad as Henry The Big Green Engine. Just the other night on the Island Of Sodor, Henry ignored Thomas' warning about danger on the rails, and he ended up in a rather nasty accident.
 * Edd: What happened to poor Henry?
 * Eddy: Did Henry get his picture taken?
 * Ed: Ooh! Ooh! Was Henry added to a calendar?!
 * Edd: Please!
 * Mr. Conductor: No, but he was all fogged up you might say. Come along and you'll find out. (Blows whistle and "Something In The Air" begins)
 * (After Story)
 * Edd: At least Thomas forgave Henry after he rudely ignored him about danger. I don't think the kids will ever forgive Eddy after what kind of melee that he'll cause for them.
 * Eddy: (scoff) Yeah, more like Kevin.
 * Ed: I want to be a green whale!!!!

Thomas Stories

 * 1) Mavis (An Ed Too Many)
 * 2) One Good Turn (Ed N Seek)

Quotes

 * Mr. Conductor: Sarah's very fond of you all of a sudden, Edd.
 * Edd: I only wish to be given my space, Mr. Conductor.
 * Eddy: Yeah! And I want to focus on my scam without her messing it up!
 * Mr. Conductor: Well you know she'd be good friends with? Mavis.
 * Ed: Who is she, Mr. C?
 * Eddy: I'll bet she wasn't as big of a pain as Sarah.
 * Mr. Conductor: Well, Mavis wasn't always the way she used to be. Let me tell you guys about her. (blows whistle and "Mavis" begins)

Thomas Stories

 * 1) Pop Goes The Diesel (Look into my Eds)
 * 2) Toad Stands By (Tag Yer Ed)

Quote 1

 * Mr. Conductor: You get quite a laugh out of hypnotizing people, Eddy. Reminds me of Diesel's mishap on his 1st workday on the Island of Sodor.
 * Edd: Who's Diesel and what's so comical about a mishap?
 * Mr. Conductor: Let me explain. (Blows whistle and "Pop Goes The Diesel" begins)

Quote 2

 * Mr. Conductor: Wrestling can be quite brutal, but I believe if you have faith in yourself, you can pull through. I remember Toad helped get rid of a nasty freight car S.C Ruffey and what a dreadful time he gave to poor Oliver.
 * Edd: Who are those 3, Mr. Conductor? I've never known anybody named Toad.
 * Eddy: Yeah, Mr. C. Ain't toads that kind of frog?
 * Mr. Conductor: Well Toad isn't "a" toad, but a breakvan named Toad. I'll tell you the story now, this will be much needed inspiration for you. (Blows whistle and "Toad Stands By" begins)

Thomas Stories

 * 1) Saved From Scrap (George Carlin, Dawn of the Eds)
 * 2) Thomas, Percy and Old Slow Coach (Alec Baldwin, Virt-Ed-Go)

Quotes

 * Eddy: Did you save our fellow space outlaw?
 * Ed: Yes, he was most grateful.
 * Mr. Conductor: Well done, Ed! You were quite brave and thought like a hero would. Edward would be proud. After all, he did rescue Trevor from scrap.
 * Edd: Who is Trevor? I'm quite unfamiliar.
 * Mr. Conductor: He's a traction engine only he goes on roads instead of rails. Here's what happened. (blows whistle and "Saved From Scrap" begins)
 * (After Story)
 * Eddy: If Edward was with us now, he'd be an honorary space outlaw too.
 * Mr. Conductor: I'll be sure to give him that compliment when I next go to the Island of Sodor.

Quote 2

 * Mr. Conductor: Bulding a treehouse isn't as easy as you think is it, guys?
 * Eddy: Tell me about it. It's a pain!
 * Mr. Conductor: Well you know where you guys could have a clubhouse? In Old Slow Coach.
 * Ed: Huh?
 * Eddy: Say what?
 * Edd: Would Old Slow Coach be the name of a carriage from the Island of Sodor?
 * Mr. Conductor: Right you are, Edd. (blows whistle and "Thomas, Percy and Old Slow Coach" begins)
 * (After Story)
 * Eddy: If those darn firemen weren't living that coach, I'd make quite the clubhouse out of it!

Thomas Stories

 * 1) Percy, James and the Fruitful Day (Who, What, Where, Ed!)
 * 2) Henry's Forest (Keeping up with the Eds)

Quote 1

 * Mr. Conductor: All this trouble for an egg is setting us far behind and this task is one that could end up badly. Doesn't it sorta remind you of James and Percy?
 * Edd: I'm afraid I don't follow you on that one Mr. Conductor. As illogical as it is, I can't see James and Percy trying to trade for an egg.
 * Eddy: Were they ever given a bigger job as this?
 * Mr. Conductor: Why yes, Eddy. Come along and I'll tell you Eds all about it. (Blows whistle and "Percy, James And The Fruitful Day" begins")

Quote 2

 * Edd: That'll take weeks.


 * Eddy: Not with what I got. C'mon, Frankenstein.


 * Edd: Oh, Mr. Conductor. I could only say that whatever Eddy does, he makes things worse!


 * Mr. Conductor: Well, maybe Eddy will surprise you and everything will pan out. In fact, didn't it work out for Henry and his forest?


 * Edd: Henry's Forest? I've no memory of that.


 * Mr. Conductor: You mean I've never told you about Henry and his forest? How Sad (Blows Whistle and "Henry's Forest" begins)

Quote 3

 * Thomas: But What? We can't mend broken trees.


 * (then the steam filled up the screen returning us to Edd's backyard)


 * Edd: Mr. Conductor, why have you stopped? What's to become of the forest?


 * Mr. Conductor: I'm afraid it will have to wait. You and I should get to work on repairing the backyard.


 * Edd: Right-O!


 * Mr. Conductor: Well, shall we get to work?

Quote 4

 * Ed: Sarah's fine.


 * Mr. Conductor: You know Ed, you were just as concerned about Sarah the same way as Henry when a storm damaged his forest.


 * Ed: What happened?


 * Mr. Conductor: I'll tell you about it.


 * Eddy: Yeah yeah yeah, just hurry up and tell, I've got jawbreakers to buy.


 * Mr. Conductor: Patience Eddy, please. Now where was I... oh yes! Henry's Forest. (Blows whistle and continues telling "Henry's Forest")

Trivia

 * 2nd time a Thomas story is put in 2 parts. The 1st being was in "Mr. Conductor & Elmo saves Christmas"

Thomas Stories

 * 1) No Joke for James (Fool on the Ed)
 * 2) Tender Engines (A Boy and his Ed)

Quote 2

 * Mr. Conductor: You know, Eddy. Being nice to Kevin might not work out to sneak yourselves some jawbreakers.
 * Eddy: Aw, come on, Mr. C! Haven't the engines on that railway ever tricked each other to get something they always wanted before?
 * Mr. Conductor: Indeed they have. Duck tricked Henry about getting extra tenders but somehow, Duck didn't impress Henry at all.
 * Edd: Who is Duck, Mr. Conductor.
 * Ed: Does he quack?!
 * Eddy: Ha, ha! A train named Duck! What kind name is that for a train?! (chuckles)
 * Edd: Please! Pay attention!
 * Mr. Conductor: Montague is his real name but he likes to be called Duck. Let me tell you about him. (Blows whistle and "Tender Engines" begins)

Thomas Stories

 * 1) Thomas & The Conductor (It's Way Ed)
 * 2) The Runaway (Laugh Ed Laugh)

Quote 1

 * Mr. Conductor: You know, Eddy the way the kids change from fad to fad is setting you guys far behind. In fact, at times such as this, being ahead or caught up with others isn't easy. Like the other day on the Island of Sodor when Thomas was in a rush and forgot the conductor at the station.
 * Edd: Why, how careless of him!
 * Mr. Conductor: Yes, indeed, my friend. Come along with me and I'll tell you all about it. (blows whistle and "Thomas and the Conductor" begins)
 * (After Story)
 * Edd: I'm actually glad that the conductor forgave Thomas after he apologized to him for leaving him at the station.
 * Mr. Conductor: And of course, Thomas learned from his mistake. He now knows that being impatient does not always keep things on time.
 * Eddy: Yeah, but I don't think the stupid kids will learn after leaving us behind!!!!

Quote 2

 * Mr. Conductor: Eddy's gone as out of control as Thomas did when he returned from the works!
 * Edd: Was Thomas out of control from the lack of working on his branch line? I know I'd go crazy without my usual routine.
 * Mr. Conductor: No, something else was wrong. Harold and the railway inspector had to think of a way to stop the little engine.
 * Ed: Harold?
 * Edd: Is Harold another steam locomotive, Mr. Conductor?
 * Mr. Conductor: My, no! Harold is a helicopter. He hovers around to make sure everyone is safe. I'll tell you how he saved Thomas. This will help us think of a way to catch Eddy. (Blows whistle and "The Runaway" begins)
 * (After Story)
 * Edd: So Harold did save Thomas! What can we use to catch Eddy?
 * Mr. Conductor: Well, we can't use a helicopter! Something different. Hmmm....

Thomas Stories

 * 1) Diesel's Devious Deed (Eds-Aggerate)
 * 2) Foolish Freight Cars (Oath to an Ed)

Quotes

 * Eddy: Kev's such a sap! Muckey boys.
 * Mr. Conductor: I don't think that was a very good idea, Eddy.
 * Eddy: It's just a fib, Mr. C. Kevin would kill me if he knew what really happened.
 * Edd: No, Mr. Conductor's right, Eddy. The truth should've been revealed.
 * Mr. Conductor: Indeed. In fact, some lies had been going around on the Island Of Sodor.
 * Edd: You mean even the engines have lied?
 * Mr. Conductor: Well, let me tell you. It's a story about.... telling stories! (Blows whistle and "Diesel's Devious Deed" begins)

Thomas Stories

 * 1) Fish (A Glass of Warm Ed)
 * 2) Whistles and Sneezes (Flea Bitten Ed)

Quote 1

 * Eddy: You were great! You ate everything, including Jimmy!
 * Ed: OH, NO! Jimmy, don't tell Sarah! Guys help me!
 * Mr. Conductor: Eddy's just joking, Ed. But with an appetite like that, you could've very well eaten a huge train of fish Duck crashed into on Sodor!
 * Edd: Duck? You mean the engine who tricked Henry about tenders, right?
 * Mr. Conductor: Exactly. I'll tell you all about it.
 * Ed: It's storytime, Jimmy.
 * Eddy: Shut up, Ed.
 * Mr. Conductor: (Blows whistle and "Fish" begins)
 * (After Story)
 * Edd: That's was pretty interesting, Mr. Conductor.
 * Eddy: Yeah! I bet Lumpy could eat the whole train in one bite!

Quote 2

 * Eddy: HE'S GONNA BLOW!!!!! RUN FOR IT!!!!!!
 * Ed: ACHOO!!!!
 * (Mr. Conductor appears right after Ed sneezes)
 * Mr. Conductor: Wow! That was quite a sneeze, Ed.
 * Ed: Double Doctor-D?
 * Edd: You seem to be allergic to rabbits, Ed.
 * Mr. Conductor: Well at least somebody doesn't have "Antarctic Fever" like I do.
 * Edd: And what exactly is that Mr. Conductor?
 * Mr. Conductor: I came down with this illness after playing with my penguin friends at the South Pole.
 * Eddy: The South Pole?! I would rather have Kevin beat me to a pulp than go there!
 * Mr. Conductor: Well at least that is not worse than what happened to Henry The Big Green Engine the other day.
 * Eddy: Whatever happened to that green whale anyway?
 * Mr. Conductor: Well... Henry had quite some trouble with Gordon and some boys.
 * Edd: Please tell us about it, Mr. C.
 * Mr. Conductor: Okay, but I gotta warn you, like Ed, it has some sneezing in it so stand back! (Blows whistle and "Whistles & Sneezes" begins)
 * (After Story)
 * Mr. Conductor: Sometimes a sneeze can come in handy.
 * Eddy: (scoff) Yeah, like turn yourself into a blimp!

Trivia

 * After Ed sneezed, Mr. Conductor appears in his box from the "Shining Time Station" episode, "Achoo!".
 * When Eddy mentioned "green whale", he referred when Mr. C told the Eds "Something In The Air".

Thomas Stories

 * 1) Special Funnel (Button Yer Ed)
 * 2) All at Sea (Avast Ye Eds)

Quote 1

 * Mr. Conductor: At least Eddy won't need a new voice. I remember my friend, Peter Sam had an accident and needed a new funnel.
 * Ed: Who?
 * Edd: Who exactly is Peter Sam, Mr. Conductor?
 * Mr. Conductor: Peter Sam is a small green tank engine, sort of like Percy, but he lives on another part of the Island Of Sodor known as the narrow-gauge railway. I'll tell you about it. (Blows whistle and "Special Funnel" begins)
 * (After Story)
 * Edd: Well, that was a splendid ending for Peter Sam. However, Eddy couldn't just get a new voice if his old one never returned.
 * Mr. Conductor: True, but right now Eddy must cope the best he can with his bell.
 * Rolf: Rolf enjoys good food and a memorable story! Thank you, Mr. Conductor!
 * Mr. Conductor: My pleasure, Rolf.

Quote 2

 * Mr. Conductor: Ahhh... Floating down the water is quite relaxing. This is just like the cruises on the Island of Sodor.
 * Jimmy: The Island of Sodor has cruises?
 * Mr. Conductor: Yes, indeed. The boats from the harbour also bring people if there should be any emergency.
 * Johnny: Have the trains ever gone on cruises?
 * Mr. Conductor: Well, Duck wanted to go to sea.
 * Johnny: Plank wants to know if he did, Mr. Conductor.
 * Mr. Conductor: Well...why don't I tell you what happened, and then you will find out.(Blows whistle and "All at Sea" begins)
 * (After Story)
 * Edd: I'm really glad that Duck received that flag from the regatta. He deserved it.
 * Johnny: Plank says "Why don't we sail to the regatta?!".
 * Eddy: Yeah, yeah, yeah. The regatta.

Thomas Stories

 * 1) Thomas Breaks the Rules (Know it all Ed)
 * 2) A New Friend for Thomas (Dear Ed)

Quote 1

 * Mr. Conductor: You know, Eddy, the way you try to keep the kids in order reminds me of the time Thomas got in trouble with the police.
 * Edd: Gracious! Thomas in trouble with the police?
 * Eddy: Did Thomas have to pay a fine too?
 * Mr. Conductor: Well, Let me tell you about it (blows whistle and "Thomas Breaks the Rules" begins)

Quote 2

 * Mr. Conductor: You know, Johnny making new friends isn't all bad even...unless that person doesn't look or act right.
 * Johnny: What do you mean, Mr. C?
 * Mr. Conductor: You see, making a friend helps you to get to know somebody, especially to show what you can do. My friend, Thomas was impressed when his new friend, Trevor showed him a thing or two.
 * Johnny (sadly): Who's Trevor?
 * Mr. Conductor: Cheer up, Johnny. Trevor is a traction engine who was saved from scrap by Edward the Blue Engine. I'll tell you all about it. (blows whistle and "A New Friend for Thomas" begins)

Thomas Stories

 * 1) No Sleep for Cranky (Knock, Knock Who's Ed?)
 * 2) Gordon and the Gremlin (One + One = Ed)

Trivia

 * Gordon & the Gremlin will have a crazy effect style to go with One + One = Ed

Thomas Stories

 * 1) Percy and the Signal (Eeny,Meeny, Miney, Ed)
 * 2) Gordon and the Famous Visitor (Ready, Set...Ed!)

Quote 1

 * Ed: Oh no! Not Eddy! Take me Lizard Man!
 * Mr. Conductor: Ed, Eddy's playing a trick. Nobody's being turned into bugs.
 * Ed: You can't fool me! How do I know Double-D hasn't turned into a bug?!
 * Mr. Conductor: I think I've just the way to prove it so you'll believe me and realize none of what Eddy's said is real...A Thomas Story.
 * Mr. Conductor: Did the choo choos get turned into bugs too?!
 * Mr. Conductor: Of course they didn't. This is a story about when Percy was being cheeky the same way as Eddy and playing tricks (blows whistle and "Percy and the Signal" begins)
 * (After Story)
 * Mr. Conductor: So after Gordon and James showed Percy what it's like to be tricked, Percy thought twice about playing jokes.
 * Ed: I hope the Lizard Man doesn't get Percy the green choo choo!
 * Edd: Why are Eddy's clothes on my floor? Is he running around naked again?!

Quote 2

 * Eddy: NOT KNITTING!!!! We move to Plan B...knitting please.
 * Mr. Conductor: Good luck with that, Eddy. Let's just hope you have a better endgame than Gordon did. He was acting the same way towards a famous engine and had a bad outcome.
 * Eddy: Fill me in on it, Mr. C. I'm game to hear.
 * Mr. Conductor: As you wish, Eddy. (blows whistle and "Gordon and the Famous Visitor" begins)
 * (After Story)
 * Edd: Well, Gordon certainly learned his lesson after that mishap. Hopefully Eddy will learn a lesson too.
 * Mr. Conductor: You're absoultely right, Edd. Jealousy is one thing you don't want to practice.
 * Eddy: Well I'm going to practice my scam.
 * Mr. Conductor: Good luck, Eddy! And don't end up blowing your dome off!!!!! (disappears)

Thomas Stories

 * 1) Elizabeth the Vintage Lorry (Hands Across Ed)
 * 2) Dunkin' Duncan (Floss Your Ed)

Quotes

 * Mr. Conductor: Losing a tooth requires a lot of patience, Eddy.
 * Eddy: PATIENCE?! If I don't yank that tooth out by tonight, I'm jawbreakerless!!!!
 * Mr. Conductor: Being impatient does not always fix the problem. Doesn't it sort of remind you of Duncan?
 * Eddy: Who the heck's Duncan?!
 * Mr. Conductor: Duncan is a narrow gauge engine. He works hard, but has a nasty attitude.
 * Edd: Sounds just like our Eddy
 * Eddy: (angrily) Really, Mr. C! What did Duncan ever do that was as profitable as Ed's tooth?!
 * Mr. Conductor: Well, Duncan was trying to get his work done faster. Let me tell you about it. (Blows whistle and "Dunkin Duncan" begins)

Thomas Stories

 * 1) Lady Hatt's Birthday Party (Alec Baldwin, In Like Ed)
 * 2) Thomas and Stepney (George Carlin, Who Let the Ed In?)

Thomas Stories

 * 1) Sir Topham Hatt's Holiday (Alec Baldwin, Home Cooked Eds)
 * 2) Oliver Owns Up (George Carlin, Rambling Ed)

Quotes

 * Ed: I'm a cowboy! Bang Bang!
 * (Mr. Conductor appears in a cloud of gold dust)
 * Mr. Conductor: Hi Rolf. Everything going fine with the Eds?
 * Rolf: A Burden has been placed on Rolf.
 * Mr. Conductor: Sometimes it takes time to get used to having new company around. Take the story of Oliver-
 * Rolf: A store of olives? No thank you. I am not hungry.
 * Mr. Conductor: No, I mean the story of Oliver The Great Western Engine, when he was still new to The Island Of Sodor. Well, You can't take it unless I give it to you. Right? (Blows whistle and "Oliver Owns Up" begins)

Thomas Stories

 * 1) Thomas, Percy and the Squeak (Alec Baldwin, To Sir with Ed)
 * 2) Wrong Road (George Carlin, Key to my Ed)

Quotes

 * Jimmy: Too tight! Too tight! Sarah!
 * Mr. Conductor: That key doesn't seem to fit inside anything.
 * Eddy: Tell me about it, Mr. C! This key's useless!
 * Mr. Conductor: Well, I think somebody probably misplaced this key.
 * Edd: Mr. Conductor's right, Eddy. That key should be returned to it's rightful owner because that person who misplaced it made a big mistake.
 * Mr. Conductor: Edd has a point. A lot of people make mistakes, even railroad people. Remember that mix-up with Gordon and Edward?
 * Edd: I'm afraid we don't remember hearing that, Mr. Conductor.
 * Mr. Conductor: Well, you will when I tell you about it. (Blows whistle and "Wrong Road" begins)
 * (After Story)
 * Edd: I don't blame Gordon for such mistake. It was his driver who made him start too soon.
 * Mr. Conductor: Indeed, and when the 2 twin engines tricked him, Gordon made things worse because Gordon has what you can call a bad attittude.

Thomas Stories

 * 1) Percy and the Haunted Mine (Alec Baldwin, Honor Thy Ed)
 * 2) Thomas Goes Fishing (George Carlin, Scrambled Ed)

Thomas Stories

 * 1) Double Trouble [S2] (Urban Ed)
 * 2) Duck Takes Charge (Stop, Look and Ed)

Quote 1

 * Johnny: Mr. Conductor! Have you seen Plank?
 * Mr. Conductor: I'm afraid that I haven't seen him. How could he escape from you?
 * Johnny: I don't know, but I hope he'll be all right.
 * Mr. Conductor: I'm sure Plank didn't mean to frighten you by running off. Reminds me of when Thomas accused Percy of getting his paint dirty on purpose.
 * Johnny: Will you tell me it, Mr. Conductor? Maybe I'll calm down a bit.
 * Mr. Conductor: Certainly, Johnny. Here goes. (Blows whistle and "Double Trouble" begins)

Quote 2

 * Mr. Conductor: Well, Eddy, you've certainly spread the No Rules Rule word to the other kids.
 * Edd: At least you and I know best to follow rules and regulations, Mr. Conductor.
 * Eddy: Oh well, Looks like you guys will miss out on skating in the wet cement rink.
 * Mr. Conductor: You know, Eddy, rules and regulations have to be followed in order to keep us safe and in order. On the Island Of Sodor, there are many rules and regulations that must be obeyed, and when the engines forget that, things can go very wrong. Take the story of Duck's first workday on the Island Of Sodor.
 * Edd: I don't think we ever heard that one, Mr. Conductor.
 * Mr. Conductor: You mean I didn't tell you about when Duck first arrived in the yard? How sad. (Blows whistle and "Duck Takes Charge" begins)

Trivia

 * Schemer guest stars hosting his radio show again from "Is Anybody There?" as part of a City Attraction in "Urban Ed"

Thomas Stories

 * 1) Thomas Comes To Breakfast [told by George Carlin] (Rent A Ed)
 * 2) Bye George! [told by Alec Baldwin] (Shoo Ed)

Quotes
Quote 2
 * Mr. Conductor: Now think about this first, Eddy. After all, You and Ed have caused alot of damage today.
 * Eddy: Ah, What could happen?
 * Mr. Conductor: Well for one, You could end up as bad as Thomas. He didn't think and he had quite an accident. Well, Let me tell you about it. (Blows Whistle and "Thomas Comes To Breakfast" Begins)
 * Mr. Conductor: This plan of getting rid of Johnny from others sounds rather underhanded, Eddy. In fact, Johnny's just as big of a bother as George.
 * Edd: George? Would that be the one who failed to deliver the controller to his wife's party?
 * Mr. Conductor: Yes indeed. But I'm afraid he's caused the engines alot of trouble. (blows whistle and "Bye George!" begins)

Thomas Stories

 * 1) Thomas and the Jet Engine (Ed in a Half Shell)
 * 2) A Better View for Gordon (Mirror, Mirror on the Ed)

Quotes

 * Mr Conductor: You'd be surprised by how others can learn. Jimmy could be as twice as good at the skill as you.
 * Eddy: Say What?
 * Edd: Have the engines on Sodor ever learned or done something as well as the other?
 * Mr. Conductor: Indeed they have. Thomas once outran Gordon with help from his special and it's quite a story. I'll never forget it. Neither will he. I'll tell you about it. (blows whistle and "Thomas and the Jet Engine" begins)

Quote 2

 * Rolf: What goes on with the Ed boys, Mr. Conductor?
 * Mr. Conductor: They've dared each other to act like the other. I just hope this change doesn't get too confusing or causes trouble. I remember Gordon wanted a change too for his view at a new station and that's just what he got. Well...Let me tell you about it. (blows whistle and "A Better View for Gordon" begins)
 * (After Story)
 * Rolf: Ho Ho Ho! Rolf can very much relate to stories like that from his old country.

Thomas Stories

 * 1) Special Attraction (George Carlin, Hot Buttered Ed)
 * 2) Emily's New Coaches (Michael Angelis, High Heeled Ed)

Quote 1

 * Mr. Conductor: You know Eddy, being angry that Kevin took your spot doesn't always fix the problem. Bulstrode was acting the same way with the freight cars until he was taught a lesson.


 * Eddy: Who the heck is Bulstrode?!


 * Edd: And what kind of name is Bulstrode, Mr. Conductor? I've never known somebody named Bulstrode.


 * Mr. Conductor: He's a very impatient and ill-tempered barge. Percy soon found that out for himself. I'll tell you about it.


 * Edd: And PLEASE Mr. Conductor, make it quick! I must find more sunscreen!


 * Mr. Conductor: Patience, Edd. Just try to calm down. Now where was I? (Blows Whistle and "Special Attraction" Begins)

Quote 2

 * (Mr. Conductor's Cousin Appears)


 * Mr. Conductor: Hello, Jimmy.


 * (Jimmy screams)


 * Jimmy: Who are you?!


 * Mr. Conductor: Relax, Jimmy. I'm not going to hurt you. Allow me to properly introduce myself. My name is Ringo but you may call me Mr. Conductor.


 * Jimmy: I have a friend named Mr. Conductor, too!


 * Mr. Conductor: Well, he is my cousin. He went go-karting with your other lads. Unfortunately, he has to watch the lads race together because he is much too short to drive.


 * Jimmy: Mr. Conductor, why do you have a butterfly net?


 * Mr. Conductor: I'm going to catch some butterflies. And by the way, you get along with Sarah and Nazz very well. My friend Thomas most recently got along with his new friend Emily.


 * Jimmy: Gee wilikers, Mr. C! Who is Emily?


 * Mr. C: She is a very beautiful engine. I'll tell you about her. And by the way, Jimmy, never beat a golden monarch butterfly in a game of cards. They get angry! (Blows whistle and "Emily's New Coaches" begins)

Quote 3

 * (Mr. Conductor's cousin appears)
 * Eddy: Mr. C?
 * Mr. Conductor: Hello lads.
 * Ed: (laughs) You talk funny, Mr. C!
 * Eddy: You ain't the Mr. C I know!
 * Mr. Conductor: Well, I'm his cousin. He asked me to check up on you lads while he went to watch the other lads go-karting. I just met your lad Jimmy and he's quite the fellow.
 * Edd: Mr. Conductor, we're on a safari observing girls in their habitat. Anything you might know?
 * Mr. Conductor: Well, ladies enjoy being treated with respect.
 * Eddy: How useless, We're right back where we started...

Trivia

 * Mr. Conductor (Ringo Starr) guest stars in "High Heeled Ed".

Thomas Stories

 * 1) Thomas' Christmas Party (Fa-La-La-La-Ed)
 * 2) Rusty helps Peter Sam (Cry Ed)

Quote 2

 * Eddy: O.K! I'm hurt now!
 * Edd: This isn't how you crave for attention, Eddy.
 * Mr. Conductor: Edd's right, Eddy. Faking being hurt won't get you attention. Sir Handel pretended that he was ill and Peter Sam was the one who ended up being hurt.
 * Edd: (loud gasp) What happened to Peter Sam?! I-is he okay.
 * Eddy: (to himself) Here we go....
 * Mr. Conductor: Well, I thought you'd never ask! (Blows whistle and "Rusty Heps Peter Sam" begins)
 * (After story)
 * Edd: How awful....
 * Eddy: Wow! I wish I had evil freight cars pounding on me! That'll definitely bring the kids running back!!!!
 * Edd: He's so stubborn!!!!

Thomas Stories

 * 1) Salty's Secret (Alec Baldwin, Wish You Were Ed)
 * 2) Trouble for Thomas (George Carlin, Momma's Little Ed)

Thomas Stories

 * 1) Granpuff (George Carlin, Once Upon An Ed)
 * 2) Gordon Takes A Tumble (Alec Baldwin, For Your Ed Only)

Quote 1

 * Johnny: Boy, this story stinks!
 * (Mr. Conductor appears)
 * Johnny: Hey, Mr. Conductor, you know any good story that Plank and I would like?
 * Mr. Conductor: What story would you like?
 * Johnny: Plank and I want a real story like Dr. Octopus' Gardens, Silver Hammers, and Mr. Kite! Ooh! Even a story on the Island Of Sodor!
 * Eddy: Really?! What does the Island Of Sodor have to do with a jawbreaker bank?!
 * Edd: Hush, Eddy. Mr. Conductor's going to tell us a story.
 * Eddy: (groans)
 * Mr. Conductor: Well, we got a big audience tonight.
 * Johnny: Oh, I'm so excited, Plank!
 * Mr. Conductor: This is a story about a story. (Blows whistle and "Granpuff" begins)

Quote 2

 * Mr. Conductor: Edd's right, Eddy. Ignoring the warnings on Sarah's diary could stir up trouble.
 * Eddy: At last! My revenge!!!! (laughs)
 * Ed: If Sarah finds out the diary's missing, she'll tell mom and mom will tell dad and he'll say "Not now, I just got home from work."!
 * Eddy: Quit whining, Ed!
 * Mr. Conductor: No, Ed's right, Eddy. Reading Sarah's diary is bad, but it can't be any worse than what happened to Gordon The Big Blue Engine.
 * Edd: What exactly happened to Gordon anyway?
 * Mr. Conductor: Well... Gordon was acting disobedient towards Salty.
 * Edd: Much like our Eddy.
 * Mr. Conductor: Indeed, in fact, Gordon ended up in a huge accident.
 * Eddy: Was Gordon planning revenge on Salty?!
 * Mr. Conductor: Not exactly, but he was going too fast for the freight cars. Let me show you what I mean by that. (Blows whistle and "Gordon Takes A Tumble" begins)
 * (After Story)
 * Edd: I guess Gordon really did learn his lesson.
 * Mr. Conductor: Indeed, and pretty soon, Eddy will learn his lesson as well.
 * Ed: Will Eddy fall off the tracks, Mr. C?

Thomas Stories

 * 1) Rusty and the Boulder (Alec Baldwin, It Came From Outer Ed)
 * 2) Home At Last (George Carlin, 3 Squares And An Ed)

Quotes

 * Edd: Mr. Conductor, perhaps you can aid me in figuring out what Ed expects to accomplish with this scam and what it's all about?
 * Mr. Conductor: I wish I knew, Edd. But Ed's scam with rocks, Q's, and the way Eddy's dressed has got me stumped. This reminds me a lot of the time Rusty thought he was being watched.
 * Edd: Rusty? Being watched? By who? Or what if I may ask?
 * Mr. Conductor: You won't believe it when I tell you. (blows whistle and "Rusty and the Boulder" begins)
 * (After the Story)
 * Edd: Gracious. I would never have imagined a diesel like Rusty believe he was being watched by an inanimate object. Although I'd rather move heavy rocks than a boulder.

Quote 2

 * Eddy: I know a way to get Ed outta here so that even he won't know he's missing.
 * Mr. Conductor: Oh, I don't think that's a very good idea, Eddy. Ed will get into even more trouble, you and even Edd will, too.
 * Eddy: Aw, C'mon, Mr. C! Haven't the trains on that railway ever busted each other out in situations like this?
 * Mr. Conductor: Indeed, they have. Duncan was very naughty for getting stuck in a tunnel, and Skarloey had to help him out.
 * Edd: Excuse me, Mr. Conductor, but how could being trapped inside a tunnel be considered a misdemeanor? Unless It was due to irresponsibility.
 * Mr. Conductor: Well, it's about time you found out. (Blows whistle and "Home At Last" begins)
 * (After Story)
 * Edd: My.... I didn't know that engines could misbehave by getting stuck in a tunnel, and I thought Duncan was very careless to do such a thing like that.
 * Mr. Conductor: Well, Sir Topham Hatt gave Duncan severe consequences. And If Eddy tries to break Ed out, he'll get severe consequences as well.
 * Eddy: *scoff* yeah, right.

Thomas Stories

 * 1) Twin Trouble (Alec Baldwin, Dim Lit Ed)
 * 2) James Learns a Lesson (George Carlin, Dim Lit Ed)

Quotes

 * Mr. Conductor: Edd's right, Eddy. You and Ed must learn. Lessons can be really useful and teach you stuff as well as help you learn from past mistakes. Just like the lesson James learned.
 * Eddy: Did he crash into tar again? I'd learn better than to let that happen to me twice.
 * Ed: I forget what that stuff is.
 * Edd: I'll remind you in a while, Ed. Now what exactly happened to James, Mr. Conductor?
 * Mr. Conductor: I was just about to tell you. (blows whistle and "James Learns a Lesson" begins)

Thomas Stories

 * 1) Jack Jumps In (Michael Angelis, Will Work For Ed)
 * 2) James and the Red Balloon (Alec Baldwin, Ed, Ed And Away)

Quote 1

 * Edd: Why hello, Mr. Conductor. I hear Eddy wants to work.
 * Eddy: What happened to that other puny conductor anyway?
 * Mr. Conductor: Well first, please be respectful of our height and 2nd, my cousin is counting tickets at Shining Time Station.
 * Eddy: Does he get paid? I'd love if I got paid for counting tickets so that I can buy jawbreakers!
 * Mr. Conductor: Well, I'm afraid not. He does it because he loves helping out and caring for people.
 * Eddy: (groans)
 * Mr. Conductor: But don't worry lad, a little work can get you far in life. But be careful my friend, my friend Jack jumped in where he didn't belong and he ended up in a nasty accident.
 * Edd: Much like Ed's first day.
 * Eddy: Who the heck's Jack?!
 * Mr. Conductor: Jack is a front loader who's very eager to work.
 * Edd: Please tell us about it, Mr. C.
 * Mr. Conductor: All right then, come along. (Blows whistle and "Jack Jumps In" begins)
 * (After Story)
 * Edd: At least Jack's friends cheered him up after his mistake. If only Ed heard that story.
 * Mr. Conductor: Well, Jack will get his 2nd chance. My cousin will tell you the rest of the story as he was there at the time. Now if you'll excuse me Eds, I must attend to important matters. (Disappears)

Trivia

 * Mr. Conductor's Cousin (Ringo Starr) guest stars in Will Work For Ed

Thomas Stories

 * 1) James Goes Buzz Buzz (X Marks The Ed)
 * 2) Steamroller (From Here To Ed)

Quotes

 * Mr. Conductor: You really hate Kevin, don't you Eddy.
 * Eddy: Yeah, I do, Mr. C! That square-headed jerk owes me a lot of money! I'm gonna get rid of him once and for all!!!!
 * Mr. Conductor: Well getting rid of somebody isn't as easy as you think, Eddy. After all, Sir Handel found it hard to vanquish George The Steamroller. Somehow, George ended up getting back at the little engine.
 * Eddy: I bet I could show that squirt of a steamroller what for!
 * Mr. Conductor: Sir Handel thought the same, but it ended quite bad for him. (Blows whistle and "Steamroller" begins)

Thomas Stories

 * 1) Daisy (Boys Will Be Eds)
 * 2) Thomas and Bertie's Great Race (Ed or Tails)

Quotes

 * Eddy: Does that answer your question? You won't impress Nazz with chickens!
 * Ed: I won't?
 * Mr. Conductor: Well, impressing people isn't always easy. At least Nazz isn't stubborn like Daisy.
 * Edd: Pardon me, Mr. Conductor, but who is Daisy?
 * Mr. Conductor: Remember Thomas' accident crashing into the stationmaster's house? This was that diesel railcar. Come along with me and I'll tell you all about it. (blows whistle and "Daisy" begins)
 * (After Story)
 * Edd: My, Daisy IS stubborn. I'm glad to know Nazz rather than that lazy diesel.
 * Eddy: Yeah, but I bet Nazz would love to see a strong man like me pull something as heavy as a milk truck.
 * Ed: I'll carry a gravy truck!!!!
 * Edd: Please.

Thomas Stories

 * 1) Busy Going Backwards (Alec Baldwin, Gimme Gimme Never Ed)
 * 2) Heroes (George Carlin, My Fair Ed)

Quote 1

 * Johnny: Plank says "Let's talk cash!".
 * Eddy: I'm listening!
 * Johnny: Plank says "You need a breathmint, Eddy."
 * Mr. Conductor: You know Johnny, this next ride could take long for Edd to build. How would you like to hear about a wild ride Toad went for on the Island Of Sodor?!
 * Johnny: A toad went on a ride?! Far out!
 * Mr. Conductor: Well it isn't "a" toad... but a breakvan named Toad. (Blows whistle and "Busy Going Backwards" begins)

Thomas Stories

 * 1) The Old Bridge (Michael Brandon, Rock-A-bye-Ed)
 * 2) Oliver's Find (Alec Baldwin, O-Ed-Eleven)

Quotes

 * Mr. Conductor: Fear is usually hard to handle. Reminds me of when Skarloey was afraid to cross an Old Bridge, and Rheneas had to do most of his work.
 * Edd: Perhaps Ed would like to hear it.
 * Eddy: Was Skarloey afraid the bridge was going to eat him?!
 * Mr. Conductor: I wouldn't say that, but Skarloey almost ended up in serious danger. (Blows whistle and "The Old Bridge" begins)

Thomas Stories

 * 1) Trust Thomas (Is There An in the House?)
 * 2) A Proud Day for James (An Ed is Born)

Quote 1

 * Mr. Conductor: You know Sarah, faking being ill won't get you anywhere. In fact, your fib could get the best of you.
 * Sarah: How would it, Mr. Conductor?
 * Mr. Conductor: Well for one, you could lead somebody into quite despair. Just the other day on the Island Of Sodor, James The Red Engine pretended he was ill and he led Thomas into such despair!
 * Sarah: I'll have to see it to believe it!
 * Mr. Conductor: All right then. (Blows whistle and "Trust Thomas" begins)
 * (After Story)
 * Mr. Conductor: So you see Sarah, James felt guilty for what he and Gordon had done and the 2 engines will now think twice about faking illnesses.

Thomas Stories

 * 1) Percy's Predicament (Brother, Can You Spare An Ed?)
 * 2) Thomas, Percy and the Dragon (The Day the Ed Stood Still)

Quote 1

 * Ed:: SARAH!!!! Dog meat!!!!
 * Mr. Conductor: Oh, dear! Oh, dear! Eddy's gotten you into hot water this time!
 * Edd: What are we to do when Sarah finds out?!
 * Eddy: You mean IF she finds out. I got it covered.
 * Mr. Conductor: Well, I wouldn't count on it, Eddy. After all, Percy thought he could keep the cars under control, and he ended up in a predicament as bad as this.
 * Ed: Did Percy get turned into dog meat, Mr. C?!
 * Mr. Conductor: Well.... I'll tell you! (Blows whistle and "Percy's Predicament" begins)

Quote 2

 * Mr. Conductor: You really like monsters, don't you Ed?
 * Ed: Are they any monsters on the Island Of Sodor?!
 * Mr. Conductor: Well, Percy saw more than a monster.
 * Ed: What monster did Percy see?!
 * Mr. Conductor: A dragon!
 * Ed: Oh, gravy! Thomas turned into a dragon with a blood-curdling roar, grabbed Percy and turned him into a marshmallow with his firebreath!
 * Mr. Conductor: Well.... that's a little too dramatic, Ed. Let me tell what REALLY happened. (Blows whistle and "Thomas, Percy, & The Dragon" begins)

Notes:

 * Thomas stories told by George Carlin and Alec Baldwin

Thomas Stories

 * 1) Percy's Ghostly Trick (George Carlin, An Ed in the Bush)
 * 2) Stepney Gets Lost (Alec Baldwin, See No Ed)

Quote 1

 * Johnny: Right on!
 * Jimmy: Jeepers Creepers.
 * (Mr. Conductor appears)
 * Rolf: Ah, Mr. Conductor, what brings you to our campsite?
 * Mr. Conductor: I was with the Eds and I thought I'd see what you guys were up to when I heard mentioning of ghost stories. But I gotta say, ghost stories could be pretty scary.
 * Johnny: Hey, Mr. C! Do they have any ghosts on the Island Of Sodor?!
 * Jimmy: HOLY MACKEREL!!!! Do they really have g-g-ghosts?!
 * Mr. Conductor: Well, Thomas thought he saw a real ghost, let me tell you 3 about it. (Blows whistle and "Percy's Ghostly Trick" begins)
 * (After Story)
 * Johnny: Holy Moley!!!!!! Percy really did scare the boiler outta Thomas!!!!! Far out!!!!
 * Rolf: Ho ho! That was some scary tale you told Mr. Conductor! Rolf would give you a badge if you were part of the Urban Rangers.
 * Mr. Conductor: Thanks Rolf, my pleasure.
 * Johnny: My turn!

Quote 2

 * Kevin: Give me a break. This is all part of some stupid scam!
 * Mr. Conductor: Well, I don't know, Kevin. Going missing for so long doesn't sound like a scam. After all, it wasn't a joke when Stepney got lost and found himself in the scrapyards.
 * Jimmy: Holy smokes!!!! Did Stepney escape?!
 * Rolf: Rolf has heard many tales of little boys and girls who have gone missing, but their whereabouts were uncertain.
 * Johnny: Plank's itching to hear what had happened to Stepney, Mr. C!
 * Kevin: Tell the story so they'll shut up.
 * Mr. Conductor: Very well then. (Blows whistle and "Stepney Gets Lost" begins)
 * (After Story)
 * Johnny: Whoo! What a relief!
 * Nazz: We thought Stepney was a goner!
 * Rolf: Rolf had seen things happen like this back in his old country.
 * Kevin: (scoff) I'm sure those Eds would get caught by those 2 diesels.
 * Mr. Conductor: Oh, I don't know about that, Kevin but I am pretty sure that they're gonna be all right. I'm gonna look for the Eds, now. Goodbye! (Disappears)
 * Kids: Bye, Mr. Conductor.

Notes:

 * Thomas Stories told by George Carlin and Alec Baldwin

Thomas Stories

 * 1) Passengers & Polish (The Luck Of The Ed)
 * 2) Thomas and the Rumors (Ed...Pass It On...)

Quote 1

 * Mr. Conductor: Hi, Eds. What's matter?
 * Eddy: Monobrow forgot where he put my fancy magazines!!!!
 * Edd: Please Eddy, it was just a mistake.
 * Mr. Conductor: Edd is indeed right, Eddy. You can't grumble all the time just because you didn't get what you wanted. Duncan acted the same way when he didn't get polished by Nancy, and Duncan behaved very badly.
 * Eddy: I'll bet Duncan wasn't looking for magazines that someone hid for him!
 * Edd: EDDY!
 * Eddy: (groans)
 * Edd: Pardon me, Mr. Conductor. I know about Duncan for sure, but who is Nancy?
 * Mr. Conductor: Nancy is a conductor's daughter, and she made Duncan upset for sure. Let me explain. (Blows whistle and "Passengers & Polish" begins)
 * (After Story)
 * Edd: I certainly blame Duncan for deliberately stopping on the viaduct. He was ridiculous enough to do that.
 * Mr. Conductor: Indeed. And when Skarloey dragged Duncan back to the station, the passengers were very upset with Duncan.
 * Edd: I don't know if Duncan will ever learn the fact of importance....neither will Eddy.
 * Eddy: Well those magazines ARE important to me! They are one of a kind anniversary issue!!!!!

Trivia

 * This is the Season 3 Finale

Thomas Stories

 * 1) Train Stops Play
 * 2) Bowled Out

Quotes

 * Eddy: Hard to believe he can dress himself ain't it?
 * Mr. Conductor: What we have here is a mystery to solve. Say, did I ever tell you guys about a mystery Stepney had with a ball?
 * Edd: Stepney? You mean the engine who was saved from scrap?
 * Mr. Conductor: Exactly.
 * Eddy: So what happened?
 * Mr. Conductor: Well, it's more of a chase than a mystery. I'll tell you guys the story now. It might help us think of an idea. (blows whistle and "Train Stops Play" begins)
 * (After Story)
 * Edd: Well, that was quite a thrilling story, Mr. Conductor.
 * Eddy: Yeah, yeah, cute. But I'm not sure it'll help with Ed's clue.

Quote 2

 * (Mr. Conductor appears outside the shed with Edd and Eddy)
 * Mr. Conductor: What's going on?
 * Edd: We've reason to believe the perpetraitor is in that shed.
 * Eddy: You go in first Double D.
 * Mr. Conductor: You know, this perpetraitor reminds me of that diesel Stepney met. Only he wasn't so clever.
 * Edd: What diesel?
 * Eddy: Better tell it fast, Mr.C, the kids are probably still after us.
 * Mr. Conductor: I will! (blows whistle and "Bowled Out" begins)
 * (After Story)
 * Eddy: That diesel didn't know what hit him.

Trivia

 * This is the 1st episode of Season 4

Thomas Stories

 * 1) Edward's Exploit (George Carlin, Don't Rain on my Ed)
 * 2) Make Someone Happy (Alec Baldwin, Once Bitten, Twice Ed)

Quote 1

 * Ed: Coochie coochie coo!!!!
 * Eddy: Edd, help me outta here will ya?!
 * Mr. Conductor: We are certainly running into a lot of obstacles around here.
 * Eddy: C'mon, Mr. C! If we don't get to the candy store in time, we're jawbreakerless!!!!!!
 * Ed: Jawbreaker, Mr. C!
 * Mr. Conductor: Well, this race to the candy store reminds me of when Edward struggled with visitors in a rainstorm on the Island Of Sodor.
 * Eddy: C'mon, Mr. C! There's no time for a story!
 * Mr. Conductor: Relax, Eddy. There will be plenty of time. Now where was I? Oh, yes! Edward The Blue Engine! (Blows whistle and "Edward's Exploit" begins)

Thomas Stories

 * 1) The Flying Kipper (George Carlin, One Size Fits Ed)
 * 2) Faulty Whistles (Alec Baldwin, Pain in the Ed)

Quote 1

 * Mr. Conductor: Cheer up, Jimmy. Sometimes changes can be good. Although The shape Eddy's gotten you into might be quite much for sumo wrestling. And as size develops in life, You won't be able to do much of what you want.
 * Jimmy: What do you mean, Mr. Conductor?
 * Mr. Conductor: Well, take Henry, the big Green Engine. He needed special coal until an accident sent him to the works where he was given a new shape. At least he was capable to continue working.
 * Eddy: Here we go...
 * Ed: Was Henry's shape suited for sumo wrestling, Mr. C?! I, ED WOULD WRESTLE HIM!
 * Edd: Ed, it's quite illogical for engines to wrestle. Now, Mr. Conductor, perhaps you could tell us the story?
 * Mr. Conductor: I will. (blows whistle and "The Flying Kipper" begins)

Quote 2

 * Mr. Conductor: Ed's violin is making quite a lot of noise. And noise quite disrupts what others are trying to concentrate on. Doesn't it sort of remind you of Duncan?
 * Eddy: I wish Duncan were here to run over the stupid instrument! Anyway, what did Duncan ever do that was noisy?
 * Mr. Conductor: Well... Let me tell you about it. (blows whistle and "Faulty Whistles" begins)
 * (After Story)
 * Eddy: If I were that Duncan, I would try and drown out Ed's stupid violin!!!!

Notes:

 * Thomas stories told by George Carlin and Alec Baldwin

Thomas Stories:

 * 1) Harvey to the Rescue (Alec Baldwin, Ed Overboard)
 * 2) Come Out, Henry! (George Carlin, One of Those Eds)

Thomas Stories

 * 1) Tenders and Turntables (They Call Him Mr. Ed)
 * 2) Old Iron (For the Ed, by the Ed)

Quote 1

 * Mr. Conductor: Eddy, you've got quite a staff working here.
 * Eddy: Just you wait, Mr. C. I'll be beyond up from here.
 * Mr. Conductor: Well, I wouldn't get too confident.
 * Eddy: Why?
 * Mr. Conductor: You see running a company is hard work and if the other kids aren't shown appreciation for it, a lot can go wrong. As for what can go wrong, I have to say, the big engines on the Island of Sodor have really had their share. Let me show you what I mean. (Blows whistle and "Tenders and Turntables" begins)

Quote 2

 * Mr. Conductor: Wow! I didn't know Election Day came so early. What is this election for? I'll be pleased to vote.
 * Edd: King of the Cul-De-Sac, Mr. Conductor.
 * Eddy: Yeah! And I'm gonna win this Election and rub it in Baldy and that useless hunk of wood's faces
 * Mr. Conductor: Well, Eddy, you shouldn't expect what you believe is gonna happen.
 * Eddy: What makes you think that I'm not gonna win, "Mr. Confrontor"?
 * Mr. Conductor: Well for one, Boasting is never good and being doubtful about another sometimes leads them to despair whereas the other benefits. James was doubtful about Edward until he pulled through and saved him.
 * Edd: My. How brave and heroic.
 * Eddy: Yeah right. I'll believe it when I see it.
 * Mr. Conductor: Well, then let me start on the start and begin at the beginning. (Blows whistle and "Old Iron" begins)

Trivia

 * Schemer guest stars in "For the Ed, by the Ed"

Notes:

 * Thomas Stories told by George Carlin

Thomas Stories

 * 1) A Bad Day for Sir Handel (Little Ed Blue)
 * 2) Four Little Engines (A Twist of Ed)

Quote 1

 * Ed: SHUT UP!!!!
 * Eddy: You shut up!!!!
 * Edd: Please! Ed's having a bad day!
 * Mr. Conductor: Edd's right, Eddy. Ed must've been tired or cranky.
 * Edd: After all, Mr. C, Ed did kick everyone out of the house and bellowed at Sarah. I didn't think that Ed 'would' do such a thing like that to his little sister.
 * Eddy: Probably cause she whines at him too much!
 * Mr. Conductor: Oh, I don't think that's the case. Sometimes people don't like to be bothered. Even the engines on the Island Of Sodor don't like to be bothered. Do you know who Ed's reminding me of now, that silly snob of an engine, Sir Handel!
 * Eddy: Did he kick people out and scream at them too?!
 * Mr. Conductor: Well, let me tell you what happened, and then you will find out. (Blows whistle and "A Bad Day for Sir Handel" begins)

Quote 2

 * Mr. Conductor: Let go! I mean it, Robin! Give it back right now! Thank you! Honestly, you're starting to become a real pest!
 * Edd: At least the Kankers haven't caused you any grief or displeasure, Mr. Conductor.
 * Mr. Conductor: Well, I have a pest, myself. Mr. Robin wants to take every snack out my hand like this cookie I was going to give to the squirrels.
 * Edd: I think that Mr. Robin is just of a pest as the Kanker Sisters.
 * Mr. Conductor: You're right, Edd. I think Mr. Robin and the Kankers are so badly behaved that I think they are no better than coaches! If you know what I mean. (Whistle sounds and "Four Little Engines" begins)

Trivia

 * In "A Twist Of Ed" Mr. Conductor does not use his whistle.
 * One of the scenes come from "Wildlife". (Mr. C's Thomas Tales)

Thomas Stories

 * 1) Middle Engine (Alec Baldwin, Your Ed Here)
 * 2) Sleeping Beauty (George Carlin, The Good Ol' Ed)

Quotes

 * Mr. Conductor: Hi, guys, what's up?
 * Edd: Why, we're building our time capsules, Mr. Conductor.
 * Mr. Conductor: Sounds interesting. Time Capsules hold some great surprises in future. Who knows who will discover it and what use they'll make of it? Speaking of surprises and discovery, You guys remember the story about Duke?
 * Eddy: You mean that old coot of a train you told from when we were stuck in Johnny's wall? BLECH! I can still taste Kanker lip!
 * Mr. Conductor: Yes. He was trapped in his shed where the trees and bushes grew around.
 * Edd: I believe I remember that somber story before, Mr. Conductor.
 * Mr. Conductor: Yes, but I'm afraid you didn't hear what happened the other day on the Island Of Sodor.
 * Ed: Ooh! Did Thomas run into a car of gravy?!
 * Eddy: Did Gordon fall into another ditch?
 * Edd: Oh, dear....
 * Mr. Conductor: Don't mind them. Let me-- no, I'll let Thomas remind you of that story so far.  (Blows whistle and "Sleeping Beauty" begins)

Thomas Stories

 * 1) A Scarf for Percy (George Carlin, Thick as an Ed)
 * 2) The Fogman (Alec Baldwin, Sorry, Wrong Ed)

Quote 1

 * Mr. Conductor: Ed's jacket dilemma is getting in the way of the scam, but it can't be as bad as what happened to Percy on the Island Of Sodor.
 * Eddy: I'll bet he wasn't dealing with stinky cheese and jackets!
 * Mr. Conductor: No, but he got into quite of a jam you might say. Come along and I'll tell you about it. (Blows whistle and "A Scarf For Percy" begins)

Quote 2

 * (Mr. Conductor appears)
 * Mr. Conductor: Oh, I've never seen so much done from such an object.
 * Eddy: Mr. C, you know about this phone?
 * Mr. Conductor: Phone? What about it?
 * Edd: Eddy has reason to believe it's cursed. Curses are nothing but mere superstition.
 * Mr. Conductor: Just like the foghorn Sir Topham Hatt ordered on the Island Of Sodor.
 * Ed: What's a foghorn? IS IT A WEAPON USED TO BLIND MONSTERS SO THE HEROES CAN-
 * Eddy: Shut up, Ed!
 * Edd: Eddy. Now, Mr. Conductor, would you be so kind to tell us what happened?
 * Mr. Conductor: Absolutely. (Blows whistle and "The Fogman" begins)

Thomas Stories

 * 1) A Friend in Need (Alec Baldwin, Robbin' Ed)
 * 2) What's the Matter with Henry? (Michael Brandon, A Case of Ed)

Quotes

 * Ed: I'm turning into a werewolf Eddy!
 * Mr. Conductor: I feel very sorry for you, Edd.
 * Edd: Oh, Mr. Conductor. Ed and Eddy don't seem to care about me feeling this way. They just make fun of Kevin instead of taking me to a doctor. (cries)
 * Mr. Conductor: Aw, I understand Edd. Thomas and Percy were acting the same way towards Henry The Big Green Engine when he was feeling under the weather.
 * Edd: Did Henry have the same disease like me?
 * Mr. Conductor: Well, let me tell you about it. (Blows whistle and "What's The Matter With Henry" begins)

Thomas Stories

 * 1) Bulldog (George Carlin, Run for your Ed)
 * 2) Double Teething Troubles (Alec Baldwin, Hand me Down Ed)

Quotes
Quote 2
 * (Mr. Conductor appears)
 * Mr. Conductor: Oh, this is truly terrible!
 * Edd: What appears to be the trouble, Mr. Conductor?
 * Mr. Conductor: I was playing music on my whistle when a boomerang flew by and knocked it out of my hand.
 * Edd: That wouldn't be the same one here on the ground would it?
 * Mr. Conductor: Yes! I recognize it!
 * Edd: Well, it appears to look fine to me.
 * Mr. Conductor: Oh? Well, hear this. (blows whistle sounding off tune) Sounds funny to me. Doesn't it sound funny to you?
 * Mr. Conductor: That boomerang is certainly causing a lot of trouble around here.
 * Eddy: Tell me about it, Mr. C. It turned Rolf into a loudmouth singer, made Sarah act nice, messed up your whistle, who else could be next?!!!!
 * Mr. Conductor: Well, I bet it could help out the diesel who was brought to help Bill and Ben. He had teething troubles you know.
 * Edd: What diesel was this, Mr. Conductor?
 * Eddy: And what the heck are teething troubles?
 * Ed: Is it when your teeth act up?
 * Mr. Conductor: Well, Let me tell you guys about it. (blows whistle still sounding off tune and "Double Teething Troubles" begins)

Trivia

 * In "Hand Me Down Ed" instead of the boomerang changing Mr. Conductor's personality, it knocks his whistle out of his hand and makes it sound off tune.

Thomas Stories

 * 1) Trouble in the Shed (Stiff Upper Ed)
 * 2) Donald's Duck (Here's Mud in your Ed)

Quote 1

 * (Mr. Conductor Appears)


 * Mr. Conductor: What's the matter, Jimmy? You're crying a river of tears.


 * Jimmy: Oh, Mr. Conductor! You're not going to believe it! The Eds tricked me out of my money! (cries loudly)


 * Mr. Conductor: Calm down, Jimmy, Everything's going to be okay. I think the time has come for Eddy to be given a taste of trickery himself!


 * Jimmy: But how, Mr. C? What would Thomas and his friends say to something like this?


 * Mr. Conductor: Now there's a thought. Did I ever tell you about Donald's Duck?
 * Jimmy: Donald's Duck?
 * Mr. Conductor: Now there's a story about trickery if there ever was one. I'll tell you the story now. It might help us think of a tricky idea. (Blows whistle and "Donald's Duck" begins)
 * (Story ends)


 * Jimmy: So they did trick Donald with a duck! But what can I use?


 * Mr. Conductor: Well, you can't use a duck.

Thomas Stories

 * 1) Time for Trouble (Stuck in Ed)
 * 2) Bulgy (Postcards from the Ed)

Quotes

 * Edd: Ed, his room is the last place Eddy would've brought them.
 * Mr. Conductor: Indeed, Edd. Eddy's gotten quite carried away this time. Stealing Plank's parents was quite awful. On the Island of Sodor, a bus did the same stealing passengers and was taught a great lesson.
 * Edd: It wouldn't be Bertie would it, Mr. Conductor?
 * Mr. Conductor: No, this was a different bus. I think it's time I told you about Bulgy. (Blows whistle and "Bulgy" begins)
 * (After Story)
 * Edd: My. Bulgy is quite nasty. I'm glad he was taught a lesson.
 * Mr. Conductor: Pretty soon, Eddy will learn HIS lesson as well

Thomas Stories

 * 1) Henry's Special Coal (George Carlin)
 * 2) Edward the Really Useful Engine (Alec Baldwin)

Quotes

 * Mr. Conductor (Alec Baldwin): Cheer up, Eddy. Being old doesn't have to be all bad. A lesson Gordon learned when Edward proved himself.
 * Eddy: You mean you tell Thomas stories too?
 * Mr. Conductor (Alec Baldwin): Yes. Would you like to hear it?
 * Eddy: Well, alright.
 * Mr. Conductor (Alec Baldwin): Sparkle Sparkle Sparkle! (blows whistle and "Edward the Really Useful Engine" begins)

Trivia

 * This is the Season 4 Finale
 * In Eddy's dream where he and the others are old, he first meets Mr. Conductor (Alec Baldwin) who tells Eddy he filled in for his cousin when he retired from Shining Time Station years ago.

Thomas Stories

 * 1) Snow
 * 2) Jack Frost

Trivia

 * Even though Alec Baldwin tells both stories, George Carlin blows his whistle to start the stories

Goofs

 * In the credits when it shows what episodes the Shining Time Station clips were from, Achoo wasn't listed.

Thomas Stories

 * 1) Thomas, Percy and the Mail Train
 * 2) Rock 'n' Roll

Trivia

 * Throughout the episode Mr. Conductor doesn't get affected by Cupid Sarah & Cupid Jimmy's love arrows & helped Rolf out to stop them

Thomas Stories

 * 1) Toby's Discovery
 * 2) Haunted Henry

Trivia

 * Even though Alec Baldwin tells both stories, George Carlin blows his whistle to start the stories

Thomas Stories

 * 1) Henry to the Rescue (George Carlin, Mission Ed-Possible)
 * 2) Toby's Windmill (Michael Brandon, Every Which Way but Ed)

Trivia

 * This is the 1st episode of Season 5

Thomas Stories

 * 1) Scaredy Engines (Boom Boom Out Goes the Ed)
 * 2) Percy's Chocolate Crunch (Cleanliness is Next to Ed)

Quotes

 * Mr. Conductor: Hi, Edd, What's the matter?
 * Edd: Oh, Mr. Conductor, all I ask for is a shower. But instead I get a shelf of products dumped on me and a swim in the mud!
 * Mr. Conductor: Sounds like a dirty job. And one that can end up badly for everyone. Doesn't it sort of remind you of Percy?
 * Edd: I'm afraid I don't follow, Mr. Conductor. As illogical as it is, I can't see Percy scheduling a shower appointment at Le Jimmy's.
 * Mr. Conductor: No, but he's still got himself in an awful mess. (blows whistle and "Percy's Chocolate Crunch" begins)

Thomas Stories

 * 1) Percy's Promise
 * 2) Peter Sam and the Refreshment Lady

Thomas Stories

 * 1) The Diseasel (I Am Curious Ed)
 * 2) A Cow on the Line (No Speak Da Ed)

Quotes

 * (Mr. Conductor appears)
 * Sarah: Say, Mr. C, You know where babies come from?
 * Mr. Conductor: I wish I could tell you, but I'm afraid I don't know.
 * Jimmy: But Sarah and I must know, Mr. Conductor!
 * Mr. Conductor: The two of you must really be determined to know. From time to time, Whatever you seek is bound to come around. The twin engines, Bill and Ben were seeking where their cars went off to when they met Boco.
 * Sarah: Boco? What the heck kind of name is that?
 * Jimmy: Tell us it, Mr. Conductor! Please!
 * Mr. Conductor: I will. (blows whistle and "The Dieseasel" begins)

Thomas Stories

 * 1) Escape! (George Carlin, Cool Hand Ed)
 * 2) Buffer Bother (Alec Baldwin, Too Smart for His Own Ed)

Quotes

 * Mr. Conductor: Escaping would be be quite difficult. Just the other night on the Island Of Sodor, Douglas helped Oliver The Great Western Engine escape from scrap, and boy that wasn't easy as Douglas thought it would be.
 * Eddy: Aw, c'mon! I could escape quite easier than Douglas and that Olive-train!
 * Mr. Conductor: Well, Douglas thought the same. Let me tell you about it. (Blows whistle and "Escape!" begins)

Thomas Stories

 * 1) Toby Had a Little Lamb (Alec Baldwin, Who's Minding the Ed?)
 * 2) Gordon and Spencer (Michael Angelis, Pick an Ed)

Trivia

 * Mr. Conductor's Cousin (Ringo Starr) guest stars in Pick An Ed

Thomas Stories

 * 1) You Can't Win! (Truth or Ed)
 * 2) Toby's Tightrope (This Won't Hurt an Ed)

Trivia

 * Schemer guest stars in Truth or Ed

Thomas Stories

 * 1) Harold and the Flying Horse (Tinker Ed)
 * 2) Hooray for Thomas (The Good, the Bad and The Ed)

Quotes

 * Mr. Conductor: Jimmy, if you think fairy tales aren't true, you haven't heard about the flying horse on the Island of Sodor.
 * Jimmy: A FLYING HORSE?! WHAT WAS ITS NAME?! DID YOU GET TO RIDE IT?!
 * Mr. Conductor: Well, the horse's name was Pegasus and Harold the Helicopter was the one who gave him a ride. Let me tell you what happened. (blows whistle and "Harold and the Flying Horse" begins)

Thomas Stories

 * 1) Percy Proves a Point (Georgr Carlin, Tight End Ed)
 * 2) Rusty Saves The Day (Alec Baldwin, Tween a Rock and an Ed Place)

Trivia

 * Schemer guest stars in Tight End Ed

Thomas Stories

 * 1) The Spotless Record (Michael Angelis, All Eds are Off)
 * 2) James in a Mess (George Carlin, Smile for the Ed)

Trivia

 * Mr. Conductor's Cousin (Ringo Starr) guest stars in All Eds are Off

Thomas Stories

 * 1) Bertie's Chase (Run Ed Run)
 * 2) Toby the Tram Engine (A Town Called Ed)

Thomas Stories

 * 1) Diesel Does It Again
 * 2) Thomas Gets Bumped

Thomas Stories

 * 1) James and the Trouble with Trees
 * 2) The World's Strongest Engine

Thomas Stories

 * 1) Edward, Trevor and the Really Useful Party (May I Have this Ed?)
 * 2) Terence the Tractor (Look Before you Ed)

Trivia

 * This is the 1st episode of Season 6 as well as the season finale, but the finale to the series is "Mr. Conductor's Adventures in Ed Edd n Eddy's Big Picture Show"