Character Mix/Mack the Knife (from The Muppet Show)

Cast

 * Hoots the Owl (from Sesame Street) as Dr. Teeth
 * Archibald Asparagus (from VeggieTales) as Sam the Eagle

Lyrics
( Hoots the Owl plays "Mack the Knife.")

Hoots the Owl: Oh, the shark has pretty teeth, dear And he shows them pearly white Just a jackknife has MacHeath, dear And he keeps it outta sight

( Archibald Asparagus enters, reads some of the sheet music and stops the song.)

Archibald Asparagus: Stop, stop! Stop, stop, stop! This is an appalling song of gore and violence.

Hoots the Owl: Well, uh, maybe you just don't understand it, Archibald. It contains a lotta slang.

Archibald Asparagus: Hm. "A shark has pearly teeth dear" is slang?

Hoots the Owl: Eh, sure. Uh, "shark" is a term for man. Everybody knows that "teeth" is slang for money. (laughs)

Archibald Asparagus: Wh-uh...wh-wh-wh...what about that "jackknife" here, hmm, hmm?

Hoots the Owl: Uh, uh...Cockney rhyming slang!

Archibald Asparagus: ...what?

Hoots the Owl: Jackknife, wife.

Archibald Asparagus: W-wh, all right, all right. But, "when the shark bites with his teeth, dear, scarlet billows start to spread?" Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm?

Hoots the Owl: Let's see, uh..."biting" obviously means buying something. Scarlet billows...sofa pillows!

Archibald Asparagus: ...so, the song, then, is about a man who has a wife for whom he buys...pillows.

Hoots the Owl: Exactly.

( Hoots the Owl resumes the song, as Archibald Asparagus attempts to grove along.)

Hoots the Owl: On the sidewalk, Sunday morning Lies a body oozin' life Someone's sneakin' 'round the corner Is that someone Mack the Knife?!

Archibald Asparagus: I don't fully grasp it, but, I'm sure it's a lovely sentiment.

( Hoots the Owl finishes playing and laughs as Archibald Asparagus exits.)