Spike Breaks the Rules and Other Stories (with George Carlin)

Spike Breaks the Rules and Other Stories is a My Little Pony/Thomas parody of the Thomas and Friends US video, Thomas Breaks the Rules and Other Stories. It features three first season episodes, five second season episodes and two third season episodes of Spike the Dragon and Friends narrated by George Carlin.

Cast

 * Spike as Thomas
 * Shining Armor as Edward
 * Big Macintosh as Henry
 * Chief Thunderhooves as Gordon
 * Cranky Doodle Donkey as James
 * Pipsqueak as Percy
 * Braeburn as Toby
 * Soarin as Duck
 * Owlowiscious as Harold
 * Hoity Toity as Sir Topham Hatt
 * Gummy as Trevor
 * Daisy Jo as Bluebell the Cow
 * The Changelings as the Troublesome Trucks
 * The Buffaloes as the Coaches
 * Apple Bloom as Annie
 * Sweetie Belle as Clarabel (does not speak)
 * Scootaloo as Henrietta (does not speak)
 * Princess Celestia as Lady Hatt (does not speak)
 * Everyone else as Themselves

Episodes

 * 1) Spike Breaks the Rules
 * 2) A Cow on the Line
 * 3) Old Iron
 * 4) Double Trouble
 * 5) Cranky in a Mess
 * 6) Soarin Takes Charge
 * 7) Pipsqueak Proves a Point
 * 8) Chief Thunderhooves Takes A Dip
 * 9) Shining Armor, Gummy and the Really Useful Party
 * 10) Time for Trouble

Spike Breaks the Rules
Narrator: "There's a path to a quarry at the end of Spike's route. It goes for some distance along the road. Spike was very careful to whistle here in case anyone was coming.

Early one morning, a large policeman was sitting close to the path. Spike liked policemen. He had been a great friend of the officer who had just retired."

Spike: "Peep, peep!"

Narrator: "He whistled."

Spike: "Good morning!"

Narrator: "Spike expected the new officer would be friendly too, but was sorry to see that he didn't looked friendly at all. He was red in the face and very cross."

Policeman: "Disgraceful!"

Narrator: "He spluttered."

Policeman: "I didn't sleep a wink last night. It was so quietly, and now dragons come whistling suddenly behind me."

Spike: "I'm sorry, sir."

Narrator: "Said Spike."

Spike: "I only said good morning."

Narrator: "The policeman pointed to Spike."

Policeman: "Where's your cow catcher?"

Narrator: "He asked."

Spike: "But I don't catch cows, sir."

Policeman: "Don't be funny!"

Narrator: "Snapped the policeman. He looked at Spike's chest."

Policeman: "No vest either!"

Narrator: "And he wrote in his notebook."

Policeman: "Animals going on public roads must wear a vest and have a lasso, but stop cows if they escape.

You haven't so you are dangerous!"

Spike's Driver: "Rubbish!"

Narrator: "Said Spike's driver."

Spike's Driver: "We've been along here hundreds of times and never had an accident."

Policeman: "That makes it worst!"

Narrator: "The policeman answered. He wrote 'Regular Law Breaker' in his book. Spike puffed sadly away.

Hoity Toity was having breakfast. He was eating toast and marmalade. The butler came in."

Butler: "Excuse me, sir. You are wanted on the telephone."

Hoity Toity: "Bother that telephone!"

Narrator: "Said Hoity Toity."

(Phone chattering)

Hoity Toity: "I'm sorry, my dear."

Narrator: "He said to Princess Celestia."

Hoity Toity: "Spike is in trouble with the police and I must go at once."

Narrator: "As the station, Spike's driver told Hoity Toity what had happened."

Hoity Toity: "Dangerous to the public indeed? We'll see about that."

Narrator: "Hoity Toity spoke to the policeman, but however much he argued with him, it was no good."

Policeman: "The law is the law!"

Narrator: "He said."

Policeman: "And we can't change it!"

Narrator: "Hoity Toity felt exhausted."

Hoity Toity: "I'm sorry, driver."

Narrator: "He said."

Hoity Toity: "It's no use arguing with policemen. We will have to make that vest thing for Spike I suppose."

Spike: "Everyone will laugh, sir."

Narrator: "Said Spike."

Spike: "They'll say I look like an earth pony."

Narrator: "Hoity Toity stared, then he laughed."

Hoity Toity: "Well done, Spike! Why didn't I think of it before? We need an earth pony. When I was on my holiday, I met a nice little earth pony called Braeburn. He takes changelings from the farms, but the trucks are taking over most of his work and he needs a change. He has a vest and a lasso. I'll write to his superintendent at once."

Narrator: "A few days later, Braeburn arrived."

Hoity Toity: "That's a good pony."

Narrator: "Said Hoity Toity."

Hoity Toity: "I see you brought your filly, Scootaloo."

Braeburn: "You don't mind, do you, sir?"

Narrator: "Asked Braeburn."

Braeburn: "The stationmaster wanted to use her as a hen house, and that would never do."

Hoity Toity: "No, indeed."

Narrator: "Said Hoity Toity."

Hoity Toity: "We couldn't allow that."

Narrator: "Braeburn made the silly changelings behave even better than Spike did."

(Braeburn rings his bell)

Policeman: "Hey you!"

Narrator: "At first, Spike was jealous. But he was so pleased when Braeburn ranged his bell and frightened the policeman, they've been firmed friends ever since."

A Cow on the Line
Narrator: "Shining Armor was getting old. His body was worn and he clanked as he walked along. He was taking empty changelings to a market town. The sun shone, birds sand, but Shining Armor was heading for trouble."

Shining Armor: "Come on, come on."

Narrator: "He puffed."

Changelings: "Oh! Oh!"

Narrator: "Screamed the changelings."

Narrator: "Shining Armor puffed and clanked. The changelings rattled and screamed.

Some cows were grazing nearby. They were not used to unicorns. The noise disturbed them.

As Shining Armor clanked by, they broke through the fence and ran across the road. A changeling let go and some were left behind.

Shining Armor felt a jerk but didn't take much notice. He was used to changelings."

Shining Armor: "Bother those changelings."

Narrator: "He thought."

Shining Armor: "Why can't they come quietly!"

Narrator: "He was at the next station before either he or his driver realized what had happened.

When Chief Thunderhooves and Big Macintosh heard about the accident, they laughed and boasted.

Big Macintosh and Chief Thunderhooves: "Fancy allowing cows to break your load. They wouldn't dare do that to us. We'd show them."

Narrator: "Braeburn was cross."

Braeburn: "You couldn't help it, Shining Armor. They've never met cows. I have, and I know the trouble they are."

Narrator: "Some days later, Chief Thunderhooves rushed through Shining Armor's station."

Chief Thunderhooves: "Mind the cows! Hurry, hurry!"

Narrator: "Puffed Chief Thunderhooves."

Buffaloes: "Don't make such a fuss. Don't make such a fuss."

Narrator: "Grumbled his buffaloes. A long path was ahead. In the distance was a bridge. It seemed to Chief Thunderhooves that there was something on the bridge. His driver thought so too."

Chief Thunderhooves' Driver: "Whoa, Chief Thunderhooves."

Narrator: "He said."

Chief Thunderhooves: "Pooh!"

Narrator: "Said Chief Thunderhooves."

Chief Thunderhooves: "It's only a cow. Shoo! Shoo!"

Narrator: "He moved slowly onto the bridge, but the cow would shoo. She had lost her calf and felt lonely."

Daisy Jo: "Moo!"

Narrator: "She said sadly. Everyone tried to send her away, but she wouldn't go. Big Macintosh arrived."

Big Macintosh: "What's this? A cow. I'll soon settle her. Be off! Be off!"

Daisy Jo: "Moo!"

Narrator: "Big Mac backed away nervously."

Big Macintosh: "I don't want to hurt her."

Narrator: "At the next station, Big Mac's conductor told them about the cow and warned the signalman that the line was blocked."

The Porter: "That must be Daisy Jo."

Narrator: "Said the porter."

The Porter: "Her calf is here, looking for her mother. Pipsqueak will take her along."

Narrator: "At the bridge, Daisy Jo was very pleased to see her calf again, and the porter led them away."

Big Macintosh and Chief Thunderhooves: "Not a word. Keep it secret."

Narrator: "Whispered Chief Thunderhooves and Big Mac to each other. They felt rather silly. But the story soon spread."

Shining Armor: "Well, well, well."

Narrator: "Chuckled Shining Armor."

Shining Armor: "Two big animals afraid of a cow."

Chief Thunderhooves: "Afraid? Rubbish!"

Narrator: "Said Chief Thunderhooves."

Chief Thunderhooves: "We didn't want to poor thing to hurt herself by running up against us. We stopped so as not to excite her. You see what I mean, my dear Shining Armor."

Shining Armor: "Yes, Chief Thunderhooves."

Narrator: "Said Shining Armor. Chief Thunderhooves felt somehow that Shining Armor saw only too well."

Old Iron
Narrator: "One day, Cranky Doodle Donkey had to wait at the station till Shining Armor and his buffaloes came in. This made him cross."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Late again!"

Narrator: "Shining Armor laughed, and Cranky fumed away.

After Cranky had finished his work, he went back to the yard and puffed onto the turntable. He was still feeling very bad tempered."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Shining Armor is impossible."

Narrator: "He grumbled to the others."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "He clanks about like a lot of old iron, and he is so slow he makes us wait!"

Narrator: "Spike and Pipsqueak were indignant."

Pipsqueak: "Old iron? Slow?"

Spike: "Why, Shining Armor could beat you in a race any day!"

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Really!"

Narrator: "Said Cranky."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "I should like to see him do it!"

Narrator: "Next morning, Cranky's driver was suddenly taken ill. He could hardly stand, so the fireman unhooked Cranky ready for shunting. Cranky was impatient."

Suddenly, the signalman shouted. There was Cranky running away down the road."

Signalman: "All traffic halted!"

Narrator: "Called the signalman. Then he told the fireman what had happened."

Signalman: "Two boys were standing nearby Cranky fiddling with him."

Cranky Doodle Donkey's Fireman: "Phew!"

Signalman: "They ran off when Cranky started."

(Phone rings)

Narrator: "The signalman answered the telephone."

Signalman: "Yes. He's here. Right. I'll tell him.

The inspector's coming at once. He wants a shunter's pole and a coil of wire rope."

Cranky Doodle's Donkey's Fireman: "What for?"

Narrator: "Wondered the fireman."

Signalman: "Search me! But you'd better get them quickly."

Narrator: "The fireman was ready when Shining Armor arrived. The inspector saw the pole and the rope."

Inspector: "Good man. Jump on."

Shining Armor: "We'll catch him, we'll catch him."

Narrator: "Said Shining Armor. Cranky was laughing."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "What a lark! What a lark!"

Narrator: "He chuckled to himself.

Suddenly he was going faster and faster. He realized that he had no driver."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "What shall I do? I can't stop! Help! Help!"

Shining Armor: "We're coming! We're coming!"

Narrator: "Called Shining Armor.

Shining Armor was panting up behind with every once of strength he had. At last he caught up with Cranky."

Shining Armor's Driver: "Steady, Shining Armor!"

Narrator: "Called his driver. The inspector stood in front of Shining Armor, holding a noose of rope in the crook of the shunter's pole. He was trying to slip it over Cranky. The animals swayed and lurched.

At last!"

Inspector: "Got him!"

Narrator: "He shouted. He pulled the noose tight. Gently braking, Shining Armor's driver checked the unicorn's speed, and Cranky's fireman scrambled across and took control."

Shining Armor: "So the old iron caught you after all."

Narrator: "Chuckled Shining Armor."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "I'm sorry."

Narrator: "Whispered Cranky."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Thank you for saving me. You were splendid, Shining Armor."

Shining Armor: "That's all right."

Narrator: "Replied Shining Armor. The animals arrived at the station side by side. Hoity Toity was waiting."

Hoity Toity: "A fine piece of work."

Narrator: "He said."

Hoity Toity: "Cranky, you can rest and then take your load. I'm proud of you, Shining Armor. You shall go to the hospital and have your worn parts healed."

Shining Armor: "Oh, thank you, sir."

Narrator: "Said Shining Armor."

Shining Armor: "It'll be lovely not to clank."

Double Trouble
Narrator: "It was a beautiful morning in Ponyville. Spike the Dragon's purple coat sparkled in the sunshine as he walked happily along his path with Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle. He was feeling very pleased with himself."

Pipsqueak: "Hello, Spike."

Narrator: "Whistled Pipsqueak."

Pipsqueak: "You look splendid."

Spike: "Yes, indeed."

Narrator: "Boasted Spike."

Spike: "Purple is the only proper color for an animal."

Braeburn: "Oh, I don't know. I like my yellow fur."

Narrator: "Said Braeburn."

Pipsqueak: "I've always been white. I wouldn't want to be any other color either."

Narrator: "Added Pipsqueak."

Spike: "Well, well, anyway,"

Narrator: "Huffed Spike."

Spike: "Purple is the only color for a - for a really useful dragon. Everyone knows that."

Narrator: "Pipsqueak said no more. He just grinned at Braeburn.

Later, Spike was resting when Pipsqueak arrived. A large hopper was giving his changelings coal. Spike was still being cheeky."

Spike: "Careful."

Narrator: "He warned."

Spike: "Watch out with those silly changelings."

Changelings: "Go on, go on!"

Narrator: "Muttered the changelings."

Spike: "And by the way,"

Narrator: "Went on Spike."

Spike: "Those buffers don't look very safe to me."

Narrator: "The last load poured down."

Spike: "Help, help!"

Narrator: "Cried Spike."

Spike: "Get me out!"

Narrator: "Pipsqueak was worried, but he couldn't help laughing. Spike's smart purple coat was covered in coal dust from head to toe."

Pipsqueak: "Ha, ha!"

Narrator: "Chuckled Pipsqueak."

Pipsqueak: "You don't look really useful now, Spike. You look very disgraceful."

Spike: "I'm not disgraceful!"

Narrator: "Choked Spike."

Spike: "You did that on purpose. Get me out!"

Narrator: "It took so long to clean Spike that he wasn't ready in time for his next run. Braeburn had to take Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle."

Apple Bloom: "Poor Spike."

Narrator: "Whispered Apple Bloom to Sweetie Belle. They were most upset.

Spike was grumpy in the library that night. Braeburn thought it a great joke, but Pipsqueak was cross with Spike for thinking he had made his coat dirty on purpose."

Pipsqueak: "Fancy a really useful dragon like Spike becoming a disgrace to Hoity Toity's land."

Narrator: "Next day Spike was feeling more cheerful as he watched Pipsqueak bring his changelings from the junction. The changelings were heavy and Pipsqueak was tired."

Pipsqueak's Driver: "Have a drink."

Narrator: "Said his driver."

Pipsqueak's Driver: "Then you'll feel better."

Narrator: "The water fountain stood at the end of the siding with the unsafe buffers. Suddenly, Pipsqueak found he couldn't stop. The buffers didn't stop him either."

Pipsqueak: "Ooh."

Narrator: "Wailed Pipsqueak."

Pipsqueak: "Help!"

Narrator: "The buffers were broken and Pipsqueak was hoof deep in coal. It was time for Spike to leave. He had seen everything."

Spike: "Now Pipsqueak has learned his lesson too."

Narrator: "He chuckled to himself.

That night the two animals made up their quarrel."

Pipsqueak: "I didn't cause your accident on purpose, Spike."

Narrator: "Whispered Pipsqueak."

Pipsqueak: "You do know that, don't you?"

Spike: "Of course."

Narrator: "Replied Spike."

Spike: "And I'm sorry I teased you. Your white fur looks splendid again too. In future, we'll both be more careful of coal."

Cranky In A Mess
Narrator: "Braeburn and Scootaloo were enjoying their new job in Ponyville, but they do look old fashioned and need new coats.

Cranky Doodle Donkey was very rude whenever he saw them."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Yech! What dirty objects!"

Narrator: "He would say.

At last, Braeburn lost patience."

Braeburn: "Cranky,"

Narrator: "He asked."

Braeburn: "Why are you brown?"

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "I am a splendid donkey."

Narrator: "Answered Cranky."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Ready for anything. You never see me dirty."

Braeburn: "Oh,"

Narrator: "Said Braeburn innocently."

Braeburn: "That's why you once needed bootlaces to be ready, I suppose."

Narrator: "Cranky went redder than ever and snorted off. It was such an insult to be reminded of the time a bootlace had been used to mend a hole in his buffaloes.

At the end of the line, Cranky left his buffaloes and got ready for his next train. It was a slow freight, stopping at every station to pick up and set down changelings. Cranky hated slow freight runs."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Dirty changelings from dirty sidings.

Yech!"

Narrator: "Starting with only a few, he pickled up more and more changelings at each station, till he had a long line.

At first, the changelings behaved well, but Cranky bumped them so crossly, that they were determined to get back at him.

Presently, they approached the top of Chief Thunderhooves' hill. Heavy freight animals halt here to set their brakes. Cranky had had an accident with changelings before, and should have remembered this."

Cranky Doodle Donkey's Driver: "Wait, Cranky, wait!"

Narrator: "Said the driver, but Cranky wouldn't wait. He was too busy thinking what he'd say to Braeburn when they next met.

The changelings' chance had come."

Changelings: "Hurrah! Hurrah!"

Narrator: "They laughed, and banging each other, they pushed him down the hill."

Changelings: "On! On!"

Narrator: "Laughed the changelings."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "I've got to stop! I've got to stop!"

Narrator: "Groaned Cranky.

Disaster lay ahead."

(CRASH!)

"Something sticky splashed all over Cranky. He had run into two tar barrels, and was black from head to toe. He was more dirty than hurt, but the tar barrels and some changelings were all to pieces.

Braeburn and Pipsqueak were sent to help, and came as quickly as they could."

Braeburn: "Look here, Pipsqueak,"

Narrator: "Exclaimed Braeburn."

Braeburn: "Whatever is that dirty object?"

Pipsqueak: "That's Cranky Doodle Donkey, didn't you know?"

Braeburn: "It's Cranky's shape,"

Narrator: "Said Braeburn."

Braeburn: "But Cranky is a splendid donkey, and you never see him dirty."

Narrator: "Cranky pretended he hadn't heard.

Braeburn and Pipsqueak cleared away the unhurt changelings, and helped Cranky home.

Hoity Toity met them."

Hoity Toity: "Well done, Pipsqueak and Braeburn!"

Narrator: "He turned to Cranky."

Hoity Toity: "Fancy letting your changelings run away, I am surprised. You're not fit to be seen, you must be cleaned at once!

Braeburn shall have a new coat."

Braeburn: "Please, sir, can Scootaloo have one, too?"

Narrator: "Said Braeburn."

Hoity Toity: "Certainly, Braeburn."

Braeburn: "Oh, thank you, sir. She will be pleased!"

Narrator: "All Cranky could do was watch Braeburn as he ran off happily with the news."

Soarin Takes Charge
Pipsqueak: "Do you know what?"

Narrator: "Asked Pipsqueak."

Chief Thunderhooves: "What?"

Narrator: "Grunted Chief Thunderhooves."

Pipsqueak: "Do you know what?"

Chief Thunderhooves: "Silly!"

Narrator: "Said Chief Thunderhooves."

Chief Thunderhooves: "Of course I don't know what if you don't tell me what what is!"

Pipsqueak: "Hoity Toity says that the work in the yard is too heavy for me. He's getting bigger pony to help me."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Rubbish!"

Narrator: "Said Cranky."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Any animal can do it! If you work more and chatter less, this yard would be a sweeter, a better and a happier place!"

Narrator: "Pipsqueak went off to fetch some buffaloes."

Pipsqueak: "That stupid old signal!"

Narrator: "He thought. He was remembering the time he missed understood a signal and gone backwards instead of forwards."

Pipsqueak: "No one listens to me now. They think I'm a silly little filly and order me about. I'll show them, I'll show them."

Narrator: "But he didn't know how.

But the end of the afternoon, he felt tired and unhappy. He brought some buffaloes to the station."

Hoity Toity: "Hello, Pipsqueak."

Narrator: "Said Hoity Toity."

Hoity Toity: "You look tired."

Pipsqueak: "Yes, sir. I am sir. I don't know if I'm standing on my head or my hooves."

Hoity Toity: "You look the right way up to me."

Narrator: "Laughed Hoity Toity."

Hoity Toity: "Cheer up. The new pony is bigger than you and can probably do the work alone. Would you like to help build my new harbor? Spike and Braeburn will help too."

Pipsqueak: "Oh yes, sir. Thank you, sir."

Narrator: "The new pony arrived."

Hoity Toity: "What's your name?"

Narrator: "Asked Hoity Toity."

Soarin: "Montague, sir, but I'm usually called Soarin. They say I soar like a bird. I don't really, sir, but I like Soarin better than Montague."

Hoity Toity: "Good. Soarin it shall be.

Here, Pipsqueak, show Soarin around."

Narrator: "The two ponies went off together. Soon, they were very busy.

Cranky, Chief Thunderhooves and Big Mac watched Soarin quietly doing his work."

Big Macintosh: "He seems a simple sort of pony."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "We'll have some fun and order him about."

Big Macintosh, Chief Thunderhooves and Cranky Doodle Donkey: (Bird tweeting noises) "Wheesh!"

Narrator: "Smoke billowed everywhere.

Pipsqueak was cross, but Soarin took no notice."

Soarin: "They'll get tired of it soon. Do they tell you to do things, Pipsqueak?"

Pipsqueak: "Yes, they do."

Narrator: "Answered Pipsqueak."

Soarin: "Right!"

Narrator: "Said Soarin."

Soarin: "We'll soon stop that nonsense."

Narrator: "He whispered something."

Soarin: "We'll do it later."

Narrator: "Hoity Toity was look forward to hot buttered toast for tea at home. Suddenly, he heard an extraordinary noise."

Big Macintosh, Chief Thunderhooves and Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Wheesh!" (Snorting noises)

Hoity Toity: "Bother!"

Narrator: "He said, and hurried to the yard.

Soarin and Pipsqueak sat outside the library refusing to let the animals in. Chief Thunderhooves, Cranky and Big Mac were furious."

(Chief Thunderhooves, Cranky and Big Mac shout and call out loudly)

Hoity Toity: "Stop that noise!"

Narrator: "Bellowed Hoity Toity."

Chief Thunderhooves: "They won't let us in!"

Narrator: "Hissed Chief Thunderhooves."

Hoity Toity: "Soarin, explain this behavior."

Soarin: "Beg pardon, sir, but I'm a Wonderbolt Pony. We do our work without fuss, but begging your pardon, sir. Pipsqueak and I would be glad if you would inform these, um, animals that we only take orders from you."

(Cranky and Chief Thunderhooves call out loudly)

Hoity Toity: "Quietly!"

Narrator: "Said Hoity Toity."

Hoity Toity: "Pipsqueak and Soarin, I am please with your work today, but not with your behavior tonight. You have caused a disturbance!"

Narrator: "Chief Thunderhooves, Big Mac and Cranky sniggered."

Hoity Toity: "As for you!"

Narrator: "Thundered Hoity Toity."

Hoity Toity: "You've been worse! You made the disturbance! Soarin is quite right. This is my town, and I give the orders."

Narrator: "After Pipsqueak went away, Soarin was left to manage alone. He did so, easily."

Pipsqueak Proves a Point
Narrator: "Pipsqueak worked hard at the new harbor. The workmen needed stone for their building. Braeburn helped, but sometimes the loads of stone were too heavy, and Pipsqueak had to fetch them for himself. Sometimes he'd see Spike."

Spike: "Well done Pipsqueak. Hoity Toity is very pleased with us."

Narrator: "A bird park was close by. Pipsqueak heard the birds flying overhead all day. The noisiest of all was an owl."

Pipsqueak: "Stupid thing!"

Narrator: "Said Pipsqueak."

Pipsqueak: "Why can't it go and fly somewhere else?"

Narrator: "One day, Pipsqueak stopped at the bird park."

Pipsqueak: "Hello."

Narrator: "Said Pipsqueak."

Pipsqueak: "Who are you?"

Owlowiscious: "I'm Owlowiscious. Who are you?"

Pipsqueak: "I'm Pipsqueak. What great wings you've got."

Owlowiscious: "They're nice wings."

Narrator: "Said Owlowiscious."

Owlowiscious: "I can fly high. Don't you wish you could fly?"

Pipsqueak: "Certainly not. I like my road, thank you."

Owlowiscious: "I think roads are slow."

Narrator: "Said Owlowiscious."

Owlowiscious: "They're not much use and quite out-of-date."

Narrator: "He flapped his wings and flew away.

Pipsqueak found Braeburn at the quarry."

Pipsqueak: "I say, Braeburn. That Owlowiscious, that stuck-up old bird, says I'm slow and out-of-date. Just let him wait. I'll show him."

Narrator: "He collected his changelings and started off, still fuming.

Soon they heard a familiar sound."

Pipsqueak's Driver: "Pipsqueak."

Narrator: "Whispered his driver."

Pipsqueak's Driver: "There's Owlowiscious. He not far ahead. Let's race him."

Pipsqueak: "Yes, let's!"

Narrator: "Said Pipsqueak. Pipsqueak pounded along. The changelings screamed and swayed."

Pipsqueak's Driver: "Well, I'll be a ding-dong-danged!"

Narrator: "Said the driver. There was Owlowiscious. The race was on!"

Pipsqueak's Driver: "Go it, Pipsqueak!"

Narrator: "He yelled."

Pipsqueak's Driver: "You're gaining!"

Narrator: "Pipsqueak had never been allowed to run fast before. He was having the time of his life."

Pipsqueak: "Hurry! Hurry! Hurry!"

Narrator: "He panted to the changelings."

Changelings: "We don't want to, we don't want to."

Narrator: "They grumbled. It was not use. Pipsqueak was bucketing along with flying hooves. And Owlowiscious was high and alongside.

The fireman shoveled for dear life."

Pipsqueak's Driver: "Well done, Pipsqueak!"

Narrator: "Shouted the driver."

Pipsqueak's Driver: "We're gaining! We're going ahead! Oh, good boy, good boy!"

Narrator: "A distant signal warned them that the harbor wharf was near."

Pipsqueak: "Peep, peep, peep! Brakes, conductor, please."

Narrator: "The driver carefully checked Pipsqueak's speed.

They rolled under the main road and halted on the wharf."

Pipsqueak: "Oh dear!"

Narrator: "Groaned Pipsqueak."

Pipsqueak: "I'm sure we've lost."

Narrator: "The fireman scrambled to the roof."

Pipsqueak's Fireman: "We've won! We've won!"

Narrator: "He shouted."

Pipsqueak's Fireman: "Owlowiscious is still flying. He's looking for a place to land.

Listen, boys."

Narrator: "The fireman called."

Pipsqueak's Fireman: "Here's a song for Pipsqueak:

''Said Owlowiscious Owl to our Pipsqueak, "You are slow! Your road is out of date, and not much use you know!" But Pipsqueak and his changelings did the trip in record time, And we beat the owl on our old branch line!''"

Narrator: "Pipsqueak loved it."

Pipsqueak: "Oh, thank you!"

Narrator: "He said. He liked the last line best of all and was a very happy pony."

Chief Thunderhooves Takes a Dip
Narrator: "Chief Thunderhooves was resting in a siding. Sometimes he thought,"

Chief Thunderhooves: "It's very tiring to be such a large and splendid buffalo. One does have to keep up appearances so."

Big Macintosh: "Peep, peep, peep, peep! Hello, lazybones!"

Narrator: "Whistled Big Macintosh."

Chief Thunderhooves: "What cheek!"

Narrator: "Spluttered Chief Thunderhooves."

Chief Thunderhooves: "That Big Mac is too big for his hooves. Fancy speaking to me like that. Me, who has never had an accident."

Pipsqueak: "Aren't jammed whistles and pulled muscles accidents?"

Narrator: "Asked Pipsqueak innocently."

Chief Thunderhooves: "No, indeed. High spirits, might happen to any animal. But to come off the path like Big Mac did, well I ask you. Is that right? Is it decent?"

Narrator: "Then it was Big Mac's turned to take the express. Chief Thunderhooves watched him getting ready."

Chief Thunderhooves: "Be careful, Big Mac. You're not pulling the Flying Kipper now. Mind you keep on the path today."

Narrator: "Big Mac went off in a huff, and Chief Thunderhooves yawned and went to sleep. But not for long."

Chief Thunderhooves' Driver: "Wake up, Chief Thunderhooves."

Narrator: "Said his driver."

Chief Thunderhooves' Driver: "A special load's coming and we're to take it."

Chief Thunderhooves: "Is it buffaloes or changelings?"

Chief Thunderhooves' Driver: "Changelings."

Narrator: "Said his driver."

Chief Thunderhooves: "Changelings?"

Narrator: "Said Chief Thunderhooves."

Chief Thunderhooves: "Puh-huh!"

Narrator: "Chief Thunderhooves' body was slow to start. So Shining Armor helped Chief Thunderhooves to the turntable to get him facing the right way."

Chief Thunderhoove: "I won't go, I won't go!"

Narrator: "Grumbled Chief Thunderhooves."

Shining Armor: "Don't be silly, don't be silly."

Narrator: "Puffed Shining Armor.

At last, Chief Thunderhooves was on the turntable. The movement had shaken his body. It was now moving nicely.

Chief Thunderhooves was cross and didn't care what he did. He waited till the table was half way around."

Chief Thunderhooves: "I'll show them, I'll show them!"

Narrator: "He hissed.

He moved slowly forward to jam the table, but he couldn't stop himself and slid into a ditch."

Chief Thunderhooves: "Oosh!"

Narrator: "He hissed."

Chief Thunderhooves: "Get me out, get me out!"

Chief Thunderhooves' Driver and Fireman: "Not a hope."

Narrator: "Said his driver and fireman."

Chief Thunderhooves' Driver and Fireman: "You're stuck you silly great buffalo. Don't you understand that?"

Narrator: "They telephoned Hoity Toity."

Hoity Toity: "So Chief Thunderhooves didn't want to take the load and ran into a ditch?

What's that you say? The special's waiting? Tell Shining Armor to take it, please. And Chief Thunderhooves? Oh, leave him where he is. We'll get him out later."

Narrator: "On the other side of the ditch, some little boys were chattering."

Boys: "Oh, doesn't he look silly? They'll never get him out."

Narrator: "They began to sing."

Boys: "Silly Thunderhooves fell in a ditch, fell in a ditch, fell in a ditch! Silly Thunderhooves fell in a ditch, all on a Monday morning!"

Narrator: "Chief Thunderhooves laid in the ditch all day."

Chief Thunderhooves: "Oh dear!"

Narrator: "He thought."

Chief Thunderhooves: "I shall never get out."

Narrator: "But that evening, they lifted Chief Thunderhooves, and made a roll of sleepers under his hooves to keep him from the mud. Strong ropes were fastened to his back end, and Cranky and Big Mac, pulling hard, managed to bring him to safety.

Late that night, Chief Thunderhooves crawled home, a sadder and wiser buffalo."

Shining Armor, Gummy and the Really Useful Party
Narrator: "Gummy the Baby Alligator is old-fashioned, but he doesn't care. He knows that he is really useful, like his friend Shining Armor the White Unicorn.

Early one morning, Gummy was chuffing about the vicarage orchard. He had important news for Shining Armor."

Gummy: "The vicar says the not all children are able to have holidays by the sea, so he's having a garden party to raise money for a seaside trip. I'm going to be the star attraction."

Narrator: "Chattered Gummy."

Gummy: "Giving rides to all the visitors. The vicar is putting up posters all about it."

Shining Armor: "I'd like to help too."

Narrator: "Sighed Shining Armor."

Shining Armor: "But without my road, I wouldn't be much good at a garden party."

Narrator: "It was a beautiful day, but Shining Armor was worried."

Shining Armor: "I wish there were something I could for the party."

Narrator: "He said."

Shining Armor: "I'd like to be helpful like Gummy."

Narrator: "Shining Armor's driver laughed."

Shining Armor's Driver: "You're helpful in your own way, and that's in Ponyville."

Narrator: "Next day, it was Gummy's turn to look disappointed. He had bad news."

Gummy: "The vicar's been so busy that he forgot to put up the posters. Now no one will know about the party."

Narrator: "But Shining Armor had an idea."

Shining Armor: "Don't worry."

Narrator: "He said."

Shining Armor: "Everything is going to be all right."

Narrator: "Then he explained to his driver."

Shining Armor: "The vicar can paste his posters and me and my buffaloes, so wherever I go, they'll go too."

Shining Armor's Driver: "Well done, Shining Armor."

Narrator: "Said his driver."

Shining Armor's Driver: "I'm sure Hoity Toity will agree."

Narrator: "As indeed he did.

Shining Armor walked happily through the stations collecting his passengers."

Passengers: "Look."

Narrator: "They said."

Passengers: "The vicar is holding a party. We must go to that."

Narrator: "Later, Gummy was resting in the orchard shed when Angel rolled by."

Angel: "Hello, Gummy. Why are you dozing there like an old stick-in-the-mud?"

Gummy: "I'm not dozing. I'm resting."

Narrator: "Replied Gummy. Then he told Angel about the vicar's party."

Angel: "I'll be there too."

Narrator: "Boasted Angel."

Angel: "I'm not sure if people will want to ride on a baby alligator after traveling with a smart white rabbit like me."

Narrator: "The party day arrived. It had rained heavily during the night, and the orchard ground was soaked."

Gummy: "Rain and mud won't spoil my day."

Narrator: "Said Gummy."

Jem Cole: "No, indeed."

Narrator: "Agreed his driver."

Jem Cole: "We'll stay on the road, then we won't get bogged down."

Narrator: "Gummy was soon busy trundling up and down the quiet country lane, carrying lots of laughing children.

He was just turning a corner when he heard Angel."

Angel: "Hello, old-timer. I'm taking everyone to the party. People have come from all of Equestria."

Narrator: "Gummy gave Angel a cheerful whistle and turned back towards the orchard.

Then there was trouble."

Angel: "Help, I'm stuck!"

Narrator: "Shouted Angel. His feet had sunk deep in the orchard mud. Featherweight the Pegasus arrived just in time."

Featherweight: "I'm the one who helps plow fields."

Narrator: "Laughed Featherweight."

Featherweight: "We'd better get you out of here."

Narrator: "Using strong ropes, Featherweight and Gummy pulled Angel clear of the mud."

Grummy: "This will teach Angel a thing or two."

Narrator: "Gummy chuffered to himself.

At last, Angel was on the path again."

Angel: "Thank you, Gummy. You're not a stick-in-the-mud at all."

Gummy: "No."

Narrator: "Smiled Gummy."

Gummy: "But you were, just for a little while."

Narrator: "That evening, the vicar arrived to see Shining Armor and his driver."

The Vicar of Wellsworth: "Thanks to your good idea about the posters, hundreds of people paid to come to the party. We've raised lots of money for the children."

Narrator: "Shining Armor was very pleased, and Gummy fell happily asleep thinking of all the children who would now get to the seaside at last."

Time for Trouble
Narrator: "Ponyville had many visitors, and Hoity Toity had scheduled more train. Chief Thunderhooves, the proud buffalo, had to work harder than ever before."

Chief Thunderhooves: "Come on!"

Narrator: "He called to the other buffaloes."

Chief Thunderhooves: "Come on, come on, come on! The passengers rely on me to be on time."

Narrator: "Whenever Chief Thunderhooves finished one journey, it was time for another to begin."

Chief Thunderhooves: "Never mind."

Narrator: "He puffed."

Chief Thunderhooves: "I like a long run to stretch my legs."

Narrator: "Even so, Hoity Toity decided that Chief Thunderhooves needed a rest."

Hoity Toity: "Cranky Doodle Donkey shall do your work."

Narrator: "He said kindly. Cranky was delighted. He liked to show off his smart brown hair and was determined to be as fast as Chief Thunderhooves."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "You know, little Braeburn."

Narrator: "He boasted. "I'm an important donkey; everyone knows it. I'm as regular as clockwork. Never late, always on time. That's me."

Braeburn: "Says you."

Narrator: "Replied Braeburn. Just then Hoity Toity arrived."

Hoity Toity: "Your parts are worn, Braeburn. So you must go to the hospital to get better."

Braeburn: "Can I take Scootaloo, sir?"

Hoity Toity: "No. What would the passengers do without her?"

Narrator: "Braeburn saw Pipsqueak by the water fountain."

Pipsqueak: "Don't worry, Braeburn. I'll take care of Scootaloo until you get back."

Narrator: "Soon Braeburn was out on the main road. He clanked as he walked again. He's a little pony with small hooves. His body didn't hold much water. He had come a long way and began to feel thirsty. In the distance was a signal."

Braeburn: "Good."

Narrator: "He thought."

Braeburn: "There's a station a head. I can have a nice drink and a rest until Cranky had passed."

Narrator: "Braeburn was enjoying his drink when the signalman came up. He had never seen Braeburn bofore. Braeburn's driver tried to explain, but the new signalman wouldn't listen."

Signalman: "We must clear the line for Cranky with the express. You'll have to get more water at the next station."

Narrator: "Hurrying used a lot of water, and his body was soon empty. Poor Braeburn was out of stamina and stranded on the main road."

Braeburn's Fireman: "We must warn Cranky."

Narrator: "Said the fireman. Then he saw Pipsqueak and Scootaloo."

Braeburn's Fireman: "Please, take me back to the station. It's an emergency."

Narrator: "Scootaloo hated leaving Braeburn."

Pipsqueak: "Never mind."

Narrator: "Said Pipsqueak."

Pipsqueak: "You're taking the fireman to warn Cranky, that's a big help."

Narrator: "Scootaloo felt much better. Cranky was fuming when he heard the news."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "I'm going to be late."

Signalman: "My fault."

Narrator: "Said the signalman."

Signalman: "I didn't understand about Braeburn."

Cranky Doodle Donkey's Driver: "Now, Cranky."

Narrator: "Said his driver."

Cranky Doodle Donkey's Driver: "You'll have to push Braeburn."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "What, me!"

Narrator: "Snorted Cranky."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Me push Braeburn and pull my buffaloes too?"

Narrator: "Grumbling dreadfully, Cranky set off to find Braeburn. He came up behind Braeburn and gave him a bump."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Get on, you!"

Narrator: "Cranky had to work very hard. When he reached the hospital station, he felt exhausted. Some children were on the platform."

Boy: "Coo, the express is late and it's got two animals. I just Cranky couldn't pull it on his own, so Braeburn had to help him."

Braeburn: "Never mind, Cranky."

Narrator: "Whispered Braeburn."

Braeburn: "They're only joking."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Hah!"

Narrator: "Said Cranky. Braeburn just smiled."