The League of Pastry-Girls Extended Version

This is the extended version of The League Of Extraordinary Girls Ever!!!!!

Transcript

 * Opening credits a la The Land Before Time)
 * (Words scroll up "in the not too distant future, three billion kilowatts and lightyears from Strawberryland")
 * (Masterpiece Theatre set - Simon and Theodore sit in a chair by a fire)
 * Simon: Good evening, there.
 * Theodore: Welcome to this historic tale ever. Buckle up, you young pumpkins.
 * Simon: Grab some popcorn, turn down the lights and get ready for...
 * Simon and Theodore: THE BIGGEST FISH STORY OF ALL TIME!
 * (Pan down to the Light Factory palace)
 * Simon Narrating: What a glorious feeling at the Light Factory palace. The people there are particularly nice to us.
 * Cockney Guard 1: It's those popstar blokes!
 * (Alvin, Simon and Theodore approach into the palace)
 * Simon: Wow!
 * Alvin: Believe it or not, in this palace; we're famous!
 * Theodore: Here comes the city officials to greet us!
 * Simon: Hello there.
 * City Official: We got some suckers. Send them to the astonishing contraption of burning!
 * (Bags are pulled off their faces. Alvin is flipped upside down, Simon and Theodore are both tied)
 * City Official: Their punishment - the astonishing contraption of burning!
 * (People laugh)
 * (Alvin, Simon and Theodore break the ropes and they meet Buccaneers Lunt and Larry)
 * Alvin: Hey, Buccaneers Lunt and Larry.
 * Buccaneer Larry: How's it going?
 * Buccaneer Lunt: Hey, what's up?
 * Simon: What are you doing here?
 * Theodore: Remember that time when you were cheese curl celebrities of all Nineveh?
 * Alvin: Umm.... no.
 * Buccaneer Larry: Well, we've got the perfect manual for a machine.
 * (A few people, including Kyle, hop in)
 * Kyle: What's all the commotion?
 * Buccaneer Lunt: We've rented the DVD instruction manual from the library before.
 * (The people build the machine. Buccaneer Lunt holds blueprints of the machine)
 * Buccaneer Larry: Looks cool.
 * ("I Won't Go to Beans!" plays)
 * (They take the machine out of the palace.)
 * (Meanwhile...)
 * Simon N.: The next day, we arrived at Ninaborough.
 * Construction Worker: Looks like someone showed up with a couch.
 * Alvin: Really? (Lies down)
 * (Buccaneer Larry carries in Strawberry)
 * (A baseball flies past Alvin and out of the stadium.)
 * Simon: Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for your timeless angerness.
 * Police Chief: Who is that guy?
 * Sheriff: She was handing out berries yesterday.
 * Police Chief: That sounds fishy. Think ya took 'em.
 * Sheriff: I'm gonna throw up on some Skittles.
 * Police Chief: We gotta keep our eyes on her.
 * (A few people stay behind after some leave)
 * (Strawberry puts up some boards)
 * Strawberry: I never said that someone blew up and the city official was mad.
 * Police Chief: All cruise guests don't like to think of their friends are mad.
 * (Sheriff throws up on some Skittles)
 * (Strawberry shows a board showing Buccaneer Lunt's ageline)
 * Molly: "How old is Buccaneer Lunt?"
 * Strawberry: Why don't we come back to that?
 * Milli: Sounds pretty good.
 * Gil: "How smart does Captain Pa think he is?"
 * Police Chief: That's smart of him to think about how smart he is.
 * Geo: Who's Captain Pa?
 * Molly: Move along.
 * Gil: Nothing to see here.
 * Geo: "How much does Buccaneer Larry look?"
 * Gil: He looks so charming.
 * (Strawberry texts Buccaneer Larry)
 * Sheriff: I used to have a cellphone like that. It's the same one Strawberry used. My brother downloaded too many apps and sent too many mean text messages so I killed him and took that cellphone to the dump.
 * Milli: Really?
 * Molly: I'm gonna go kiss him someday! That will be efficient.
 * Hipster Carrot: I dig efficiency. Watchin' my carbon hoofprint. (Drinks coffee)
 * (Hipster Carrot's body parts fall off and he dies)
 * (People lay on top of him)
 * Police Chief: If that is settled, (cut to him on an iceberg) I'd rather sit on an iceberg.
 * Milli: Aww... Buccaneer Lunt looks cute as a baby.
 * ("You Girls are all brave thieves and bandits and naives and destroyers and robbers!" plays)
 * Townspeople: Kind Norrius, Kind Norrius, her exploits ever glorious! Oh, Norrius; Kind Norrius, returns again victorious! She bests the people with her might. Her strength cannot be matched. She brought victory upon this day and claimed the biggest laugh. KIND NORRIUS.
 * Townsperson: She's the big bad wolf afraid of.
 * Townspeople: Kind Norrius! She... lifts us all for the world to see. She dreams of clever pranks and pulls 'em brilliantly.
 * Captain Pa: I am the rightful captain of anything.
 * Alvin: Have no fear.
 * Simon: If there's a sign of them around...
 * Theodore: We'll bring 'em in.
 * Captain Pa: I'm goin' back to Bathroom Town tomorrow.
 * Lady: Ooh-la-la! I live here now.
 * Simon Narrating: They knew that girl lied. The Marigolds' name meant business.
 * (Pirates climb onto balcony)
 * Buccaneer Lunt: Ahoy!
 * Martin: Pirates? In my office? You're getting me fired.
 * ("Dudes, He Ate My Cake" plays)
 * Buccaneer Larry: What was I saying?
 * Strawberry: Hey guys. What's up?
 * Buccaneer Lunt: I don't want to die becoming a slave.
 * Captain Pa: Me neither.
 * Buccaneer Larry: I don't want to become a slave, too.
 * (Later that evening...)
 * Simon Narrating: Well, never before; she gotten a message that she really wanted to deliver. She didn't know what to do.
 * (A factory is destroyed)
 * (Strawberry runs into a cruise sign which read "See the World - Friends and Family Cruise")
 * Ticket Man: Ticket please, ma'am. There's nothing like a cruise to clean the sand outta wicket, eh?
 * Strawberry: I'm goin' to Tarship.
 * Ticket Man: Ha-ha! It's the other end of the world.
 * Strawberry: Awesome.
 * Ticket Man: If ya had all the money, no one around here will sail all the way to Tarship. Not even those girls over there.
 * (Mysterious music plays as a silhouette of an elegant pirate ship sails into view)
 * (Transition to people jumping on board with Alvin, Simon and Theodore as the boat leaves)
 * Simon Narrating: Even though they never sailed before, they took it like a fish to water.
 * Strawberry: It's gonna be champagne wishes and caviar dreams from now on!
 * Ginger Snap: Money is no object.
 * (people sit around a table)
 * Person 1: The Pirates gotta get some money.
 * League: (except Strawberry) What do they need money for?
 * Person 2: Operations.
 * Simon: Cool.
 * Simon Narrating: Once we were finally out to sea, Strawberry went below deck to rest a bit.
 * Painter Carrot: What?
 * Woman on Voice: The police man is behind the billboard.
 * Painter Carrot: Oh, that loser again?
 * (Policeman holds a box. He opens it and three pirates stand in.)
 * Pirate Impostor: I don't think this is good.
 * Pirate Impostor 2: I think I'm gonna be sick!
 * Pirate Impostor 3: My heart will explode!
 * Police Chief: Come on, you guys. (Sings first lines of Pirates who don't do anything song)
 * Painter Carrot: It's kinda weird though that a man would say he wants to stay home and lie around. I have dinner to go to.
 * Simon Narrating: It was too late. Buccaneer Larry caught the painter carrot and the impostors.
 * Buccaneer Larry: You're coming with me.
 * Police Chief: (spits out coffee) What'cha doing!?! You're ruining the billboard, Miss Shortcake!!!! No!!!!! Oh, Lord; why did you let this happen!?! Get your filthy hands off of that carrot, that tomato, that gourd and that asparagus, Miss Shortcake!!!!
 * Simon Narrating: Buccaneer Larry threw them into the slammer. I wonder what (Cut to ship hold) Strawberry is up to...
 * (Strawberry throws down a bag and sits down on a bench)
 * Simon Narrating: That was a very silly surprise. The bag just talked. She threw the bag onto a barrel, and out came... peas!?!
 * Guy with Black Hat: Allow us to introduce ourselves. I am Jude, the smartest one.
 * Karen: I am Karen, the awesomst one.
 * Reuben: And I am Reuben, the chubbiest.
 * Strawberry: Nice to meet ya. Now, where is this ship going?
 * Jude: Tarship.
 * Karen: One time, our uncles were tortured by the city official.
 * Reuben: That's surprising.
 * Karen: i know that.
 * (Strawberry groans)
 * Karen: What's wrong there?
 * Jude: There is a man in that palace. A beautiful young leek? He is waiting there for you.
 * Karen: Would that be either Alvin, Simon or Theodore?
 * Reuben: No, it had something to do with his body shaped like a dog.
 * Jude: You were promised to be married, but your life is now in the way.
 * Karen: The man's mother is the head of an international league of bandits.
 * Jude: So, this day, you sail there and break the back of them which will break the heart of that guy.
 * Karen: Sweet dreams. We can make our plans to do it tomorrow.
 * (White limbo. Strawberry walks across. Everything is mysterious.)
 * Strawberry: Yes. Which way is Tarship.
 * Ticket Man: (Croaking) Right this way. You can't miss it.
 * Strawberry: Thanks.
 * (Dream ends)
 * Ginger Snap: C'mon wake up! We're in a storm like I've never seen before. If we don't do something quick, we're gonna sink!
 * Mr. Malab: (scoffs) Didn't I at least tell you to get off my ship, you lousy leaf-eaters!
 * Karen: Yes, but you see; we're gonna break the back of those bandits. I love crimefighting.
 * Mr. Malab: If it ain't for this, I'll make you walk the plank! We're gonna be fish food if I don't get help.
 * Jude: How do you feel about an indoor pool?
 * Ginger Snap: Somebody up there must be really upset with somebody down here.
 * Simon Narrating: So we casted lots and it fell on the captain.
 * Mr. Malab: So she got on here. I'm afraid the only thing left is to be thrown into the sea.
 * Ginger Snap: Not so fast. I suggest we use a boat motor.
 * (Ginger cranks the motor up and it slides to the side of the boat)
 * Simon Narrating: Then he was pushed into the ocean and the seas were calm again. (A group faint) We tried to pull him back on board. A shark then swallowed him whole. (The group cry)
 * Strawberrry: Yee-haw!
 * (Cut to belly of shark)
 * Simon Narrating: The captain pouted. Then angels came and comforted him.
 * (Cut back to boat)
 * (A montage of silly attempts of going to the light factory palace shows up)
 * Simon Narrating: Then we all knew something strange happening. The shark spit out the captain.
 * Strawberry: (Pulls out book "The Trueness of a Good Leader") "Now, captain, it's perfectly normal that you might stand in breezing occurence. I'm tryna make ya comfortable. I will allow you in the signs of my splendor - such as, answers to unusual questions, major miracles appearing or disappering against your will."
 * Blueberry Muffin: You were, you were...
 * Rainbow Sherbert: Fish food.
 * Simon Narrating: Strawberry dramatically tells everyone about the truth of the Marigolds. We arrived at the palace.
 * Cockney Guard: Who goes there?
 * Simon: I am Simon.
 * Cockney Guard: You're not from here!
 * Alvin: We're from...
 * Cockney Guards: You're strangers!
 * (They arrive in the palace)
 * Alvin: Welcome back.
 * City Official: Arrest them...again!
 * Alvin: Oh no. Not again.
 * (WHACK!)
 * (Bags pulled off their faces)
 * (The league gasps, except Strawberry)
 * Angel Cake: I didn't know to say this, but this is crazy.
 * Simon: I'll say.
 * City Official: Their punishment... THE ASTONISHING CONTRAPTION OF PANTS-BURNING!!!!
 * (People laugh)
 * Simon Narrating: I do not like the sound of this. They demonstrated the contraption. Which you see is a giant lightbulb shooting a laser and turns you into paste. The league, except Strawberry cried.
 * City Official: Ladies and gentlemen, I give you... THE QUEEN!!!!!!!! These are the prepetrators of the heinous act against those popstars.
 * Strawberry: Do you have those guilty parties a chance to let someone speak in their own defense?
 * Queen: You may speak.
 * Strawberry: Alvin, Simon and Theodore are celebrities here.
 * Queen: (frowns) Slap them!
 * Strawberry: You don't understand. I am a kind Rhubarbarian. You shoulda told her about my kindness.
 * City Official: What...did you...say?
 * Strawberry: You shoulda told her about my kindness.
 * (Simon and Theodore rip off their clothes and sing about greed while Alvin plays an accordion)
 * Person in Crowd: You're singing about greed?! Get out of the palace!
 * Alvin: (facepalms) My turn...
 * Simon: Fine!
 * Theodore: You do better.
 * (They walk away)
 * ("Bellybutton" music plays backwards)
 * Person in Crowd: What? (Notices arm pump on Strawberry's waist) That's not your heart pumping, those are cheeks playing.
 * (Police, Buccaneers Lunt and Larry arrive)
 * Police Chief: Freeze!
 * (Alvin grabs a rubber mallet and pounds it to the balcony. The balcony falls.)
 * People: Let's start a riot. (Holds torches and pitchforks)
 * (Buccaneer Larry, Buccaneer Lunt and Alvin carry Strawberry out of the palace)
 * (Strawberry speaks gibberish)
 * Alvin: You have the right to remain silent.
 * (Simon, Captain Pa, and Theodore hold them)
 * (They climb up the cliffside)
 * (Loud bellowing)
 * Strawberry: Whew... I think we lost them.
 * (The boat sails back)
 * (Violin music plays)
 * Baker: I paid to see a guy and a girl getting made.
 * Sheriff: Ya, what a refund!
 * (Violin music transitions to dramatic music)
 * (They throw the Marigolds into the ocean)
 * Chog: All the way from Bethlingham, Cabbageville and Boo-Boo Ville, home of the Bad-baloney's pencils... ALVIN, SIMON AND THEODORE!
 * Ginger Snap: Simon's native town is... Bethlingham!?
 * Angel Cake: Theodore's native town is... Cabbageville?!
 * Orange Blossom: And Alvin's native town is... Boo-Boo Ville?!?!?
 * (Alvin, Simon and Theodore sing the "Pirates Who Don't Do Anything" remix from the video "Jonah Sing-Along Songs and More". As the song picks up, the boat leaves.)
 * (Transition to Strawberry pouting on a bench in the stadium as the people sing with Alvin, Simon and Theodore)
 * Buccaneer Larry: I just heard the news.
 * Alvin: You're a true member of the League.
 * Strawberry: Yep...
 * Buccaneer Lunt: You gotta be...
 * Theodore: ...at least excited.
 * Strawberry: No one told me that!
 * Captain Pa: You always did have a mind of your own.
 * Simon: We always liked that about you.
 * Chog: Alvin, you're a little flat when you sang that. What did you learn there?
 * Alvin: You need to be trustworthy and be loyal to others.
 * Simon: Ya. You need to follow the directions and be kind.
 * Theodore: Even though they don't deserve it.
 * Strawberry: Chog, you're going overboard.
 * Chog: Well, what do you want? A big musical number?
 * Buccaneer Larry: Awesome!
 * ("The Big Musical Number!" plays. As the song picks up, many people and Strawberry fall asleep.)