Spike and His Friends' Excellent Stories

Spike and His Friends' Excellent Stories is a My Little Pony/Thomas parody of the fan-made Thomas and Friends US video, Thomas and His Friends' Excellent Stories. It features three fourth season episodes, six fifth season episodes and one sixth season episode of Spike the Dragon and Friends narrated by George Carlin and Alec Baldwin.

Note: Since this is a MLP/Thomas parody of a fan-made Thomas video, it will not go under the Spike and Friends video releases category.

Cast

 * Spike as Thomas
 * Shining Armor as Edward
 * Big Macintosh as Henry
 * Chief Thunderhooves as Gordon
 * Cranky Doodle Donkey as James
 * Pipsqueak as Percy
 * Braeburn as Toby
 * Soarin as Duck
 * Night Light as Donald
 * Hondo Flanks as Douglas
 * Dr. Whooves as Oliver
 * Snips as Bill
 * Snails as Ben
 * Noteworthy as Stepney
 * Caramel as Harvey
 * Filthy Rich as BoCo
 * Tirek as D261
 * Trouble Shoes as Derek
 * Hamm (from Toy Story) as Sir Handel/Falcon
 * Rex (from Toy Story) as Peter Sam/Stuart
 * Slinky (from Toy Story) as Rusty
 * Mr. Potato Head (from Toy Story) as Duncan
 * Randolph as Duke
 * Matilda as Old Slow Coach
 * Changelings as The Troublesome Trucks
 * The Mutant Toys (from Toy Story) as The Narrow Gauge Trucks
 * Angel as Bertie
 * Rover as Lorry 1
 * Fido as Lorry 2
 * Spot as Lorry 3
 * Owlowiscious as Harold
 * Gustave Le Grand as Cranky
 * Hoity Toity as Sir Topham Hatt
 * Goldie Delicious as Mrs. Kyndley
 * Parcel Post as Tom Tipper
 * Woody (from Toy Story) as Skarloey (does not speak)
 * Garble as Bulgy (does not speak)
 * Royal Riff as Butch (does not speak)
 * Lightning Dust as Tiger Moth (I know, Lightning Dust is female) (does not speak)
 * Cheese Sandwich as Salty (cameo)
 * Apple Bloom as Annie (cameo)
 * Sweetie Belle as Clarabel (cameo)
 * Cherry Jubilee as The Refreshment Lady (cameo)
 * Everyone else as Themselves

Episodes

 * 1) Spike, Pipsqueak and Matilda
 * 2) Mr. Potato Head Gets Spooked
 * 3) Mind That Bike
 * 4) You Can't Win
 * 5) Make Someone Happy
 * 6) Something in the Air
 * 7) Bowled Out
 * 8) Double Teething Troubles
 * 9) Caramel To The Rescue
 * 10) Horrid Diamond Dog

Spike, Pipsqueak and Matilda
Narrator: "Spike, Pipsqueak and Cranky were looking at the early morning sky."

Spike: "Everyone's so much happier when springtime comes."

Narrator: "Said Spike happily."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Everyone except Hoity Toity."

Narrator: "Grumbled Cranky."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "He seems to be working us harder that ever. I'm tire of these coastal runs."

Pipsqueak: "He just wants everything to be ready for the holidays."

Narrator: "Replied Pipsqueak."

Pipsqueak: "Anyway, salty air makes me all cheerful in my body."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Pah!"

Narrator: "Snorted Cranky."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "It's the countryside that really gets me fired up, it's the only place to be!"

Narrator: "And he puffed away to collect his fuel drums from the docks.

Spike and Pipsqueak had to take some changelings to the scrap yards.

In a siding, they saw an old donkey. She looked very sad."

Pipsqueak: "What are you doing here?"

Matilda: "My name is Matilda, but they told me I wasn't useful anymore. Now I only have mice for company."

Spike: "Well, you may be dusty, but you look in perfect shape."

Narrator: "The yard manager appeared."

Yard Manager: "Come along, I have changelings for you to take away."

Pipsqueak's Driver: "Excuse me,"

Narrator: "Said Pipsqueak's Driver,"

Pipsqueak's Driver: "Can you tell us about this donkey?"

Yard Manager: "Matilda; she's been here for years. She'll be broken up when we find the time."

Narrator: "The animals were most dismayed."

Spike: "We'll try and help you."

Narrator: "Said Spike. But he didn't know how.

Meanwhile, Cranky was enjoying himself."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "This is the life!"

Narrator: "He chortled, but he was heading for trouble. One of the fuel drums was leaking, and suddenly, it caught fire."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Oh, help!"

Narrator: "Cried Cranky.

They reached a siding, and his driver gave the alarm."

Cranky Doodle Donkey's Driver: "It's fuel, and it's dangerous."

Narrator: "As Spike and Pipsqueak approached the junction, they saw the smoke, and a guard waving a red flag."

Guard: "Sparks from Cranky have set the drums ablaze."

Narrator: "He called."

Guard: "The fire's under control, but it's quite a mess."

Pipsqueak: "You said the countryside run got you all 'fired up', Cranky."

Narrator: "Said Pipsqueak."

Pipsqueak: "But I didn't think you meant it in this way."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Pah!"

Narrator: "Snorted Cranky."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "It was the stupid drums' fault, not mine."

Fireman: "It's safe to proceed now."

Narrator: "Called a fireman.

Spike and Pipsqueak now felt sorry for Cranky.

It wasn't long before they reached the station.

Later, as they were having a long drink, they suddenly heard a commotion."

Spike: "What's the matter?"

Narrator: "Spike asked."

Spike's Driver: "It's another fire at the Workmen's hut."

Narrator: "Replied Spike's driver."

Spike's Driver: "We better see what we can do."

Narrator: "The fire engines had a big problem."

Fireman: "We are completely out of water!"

Narrator: "Cried a fireman."

Fireman: "We can't use sea water cause it clogs our works. We'll just have to let that building burn."

Narrator: "Then Spike had an idea."

Spike: "Why don't you use the water in our bodies? We've just refilled them."

Narrator: "The firemen wasted no time."

Spike and Pipsqueak's Drivers: "You're very clever animals."

Narrator: "Chuckled their drivers.

Soon, the fire was out, but the hut where the workmen lived was destroyed."

Foreman: "The men can't sleep on the beach."

Narrator: "Said the foreman."

Pipsqueak: "What about Matilda? She would be perfect for the workmen."

Spike: "Comfy, too."

Narrator: "Added Spike."

Pipsqueak's Driver: "What a good idea, Pipsqueak."

Narrator: "Said his driver.

They phoned Hoity Toity, who agreed."

Hoity Toity: "She'll be spic and span by the time you collect her."

Narrator: "And she was, and very happy too."

Matilda: "I can't thank you enough. I feel splendid."

Narrator: "The animals took her hooves, and she set off for her new home.

Everyone agreed there was nothing old or slow about Matilda, and she will always be really useful indeed."

Mr. Potato Head Gets Spooked
Narrator: "The toys were busy clearing their roads of leaves and broken branches.

Rex and Slinky often worked together. One day, Slinky helped Rex to a water fountain.

Rex felt much better after his long drink, but the mutant toys were bored.

Mutant Toys: "Let's break away!"

Narrator: "Their loads were heavy, and the chains old. One snapped!"

Mutant Toys: "Faster! Faster!"

Narrator: "Shouted the mutant toys. A sign read 'Slow steep bends and ravine ahead', but the silly mutant toys never saw it.

Then, it was too late.

Rex arrived at the scene of the disaster. His driver sighed."

Rex's Driver: "This was our fault; we didn't secure them properly. We'll have to get help to pull them up.

Hoity Toity will be very annoyed."

Narrator: "And he was."

Hoity Toity: "You will work in the yards until I can trust you again."

Narrator: "Mr. Potato Head was delighted with Rex's dilemma."

Mr. Potato Head: "Fancy not securing your mutant toys on a hill. They'll come back to spook you and your special hat. Whoo!"

Slinky: "And who's to say you're not afraid of ghosts?"

Narrator: "Snapped Slinky."

Mr. Potato Head: "Ghosts? Things that go bump in the night? Rubbish."

Slinky: "Well, I'll tell you a story that will make your hat quiver!"

Narrator: "Slinky Said."

Slinky: "A long time ago, a little toy was returning home. It was a misty moonlit night. Suddenly, the toy lost control and plunged over the side into the swamps below.

He was never found again, but many a workmen will tell you that when the moon is full, they have seen the little toy trying to get home, but he never reaches the other side.

So what do you think of that, Potato Head?"

Mr. Potato Head: "Rubbish!"

Narrator: "Replied Mr. Potato Head."

Slinky: "Never mind him, Rex. He'd be frightened if he really saw a ghost."

Narrator: "This gave Rex's driver an idea."

Rex's Driver: "Let's play a trick on Mr. Potato Head!

Narrator: "The next day, he spoke to Mr. Potato Head's driver and fireman, who agreed.

Mr. Potato Head's Crew: "We'll do it tonight!"

Narrator: "Mr. Potato Head had to bring mutant toys to the slate mines, and then bring mutant toys back.

Mr. Potato Head's driver decided, as part of the plan, to cross the old iron bridge."

Mr. Potato head: "Haunted bridge, rubbish"!

Narrator: "Snorted Mr. Potato Head."

Mr. Potato Head: "It's as tame as a pet rabbit!"

Narrator: "But all the same, he kept thinking about Slinky's story.

When dusk fell, he was keen to leave."

Mr. Potato Head: "If we don't go now, Woody will take my favorite place it the room."

Mr. Potato Head's Driver: "We have to collect our mutant toys first."

Narrator: "His driver replied.

He could see his plan was working, because Mr. Potato Head was nervous.

When night fell, they set off.

The mists were rising around the old iron bridge.

Mr. Potato Head whistled, and the sound echoed everywhere.

Then, ahead, he saw flickering lights. His driver knew they were only insects that shine brightly at night, but to Mr. Potato Head, they looked like a toy!

Next, his driver secretly threw a rock into the ravine below."

Mr. Potato Head: "It's the ghost! Take me back! Take me back, please!"

Narrator: "When Mr. Potato Head reached the safety of his room, he closed his eyes tightly."

Mr. Potato Head's Driver: "Spooked, are you, Potato Head?"

Narrator: "Laughed his driver."

Mr. Potato Head: "No, I'm asleep!"

Narrator: "And Mr. Potato Head refused to open his eyes.

He did though, when he thought his driver wasn't looking, just to make sure that he was still there."

Mind That Bike
Narrator: "If one day you were to travel with Angel the Rabbit, you would run down the winding country road with him, cross over stone-walled bridges, and travel past Spike's route.

Then, you would hear Angel's friendly greeting as he sees one of his friends pass by.

His name is Parcel Post, the Postpony.

Every day, Parcel Post travels cheerfully around Ponyville.

He stops at stations, collecting letters and parcels from Spike and Pipsqueak's mail bags.

Then, he delivers the mail to farms and cottages far and wide.

The animals know that anywhere their roads won't reach, Parcel Post will collect their mail and deliver it safely, come rain or shine.

He's always ready to load mail bags for Spike and Pipsqueak, too."

Pipsqueak: "Thank you, Parcel Post."

Narrator: "Whistles Pipsqueak."

Spike: "Yes, indeed."

Narrator: "Agrees Spike."

Spike: "You're a really useful postpony."

Parcel Post: "Ah,"

Narrator: "Replies Parcel Post."

Parcel Post: "But where would I be without me van? We make a grand pair."

Narrator: "One day, Parcel Post wasn't at the platform. A postman they didn't know dumped the bags on the platform and disappeared."

Pipsqueak: "What happened to Parcel Post?"

Narrator: "Wondered Pipsqueak."

Pipsqueak's Driver: "And his old van?"

Narrator: "Said his driver."

Pipsqueak's Driver: "No wonder the new postman looks cross. Trying to carry mail bags on a bicycle would make anyone miserable."

Narrator: "Next morning, the animals were glad to see Parcel Post back again. But he looked very sad."

Parcel Post: "The postmaster decided my van was too expensive to run. The rounds take longer on my bike. I'm sorry, I can't stop to help you."

Pipsqueak: "I wish I could cheer Parcel Post up."

Narrator: "Sighed Pipsqueak. He was just wondering about how this might be done, when his thoughts were rudely interrupted. A man was shouting at Parcel Post."

Man: "You've got to come back to Hoity Toity's office. He needs you to sign some important papers right away."

Parcel Post: "Oh, dear."

Narrator: "Replied Parcel Post."

Parcel Post: "This is going to make me later still!"

Narrator: "He was in a hurry, and being careless. He propped his bike against Pipsqueak's mail bag and rushed away."

Pipsqueak: "Stop!"

Narrator: "Cried Pipsqueak. But Parcel Post was out of sight. There was worse to come. Pipsqueak's driver hadn't seen the bike and he started away."

Pipsqueak: "Oh, no!"

Narrator: "Cried Pipsqueak."

Pipsqueak: "Now there'll be trouble!"

Narrator: "And there was. Pipsqueak's driver quickly stopped.

Everyone came running to the scene. Parcel Post's bicycle was in pieces!"

Pipsqueak: "I'm sorry, Parcel Post!"

Narrator: "Apologized Pipsqueak."

Parcel Post: "Never mind, Pipsqueak."

Narrator: "Said Parcel Post."

Parcel Post: "It wasn't your fault. But now I've only my legs to get the mail delivered. Whatever will happen next?"

Narrator: "Parcel Post soon found out. Next day, he was waiting happily for Pipsqueak."

Pipsqueak: "Peep peep!"

Narrator: "Whistled Pipsqueak."

Pipsqueak: "Is that a smart new van I see?"

Parcel Post: "It is indeed. That accident did me a good turn, Pipsqueak. My chief decided a new van would do the job, much better than another bike and worth the expense. Now I can always be on time again."

Pipsqueak: "So I did help."

Narrator: "Beamed Pipsqueak."

Pipsqueak: "But by accident, you might say."

You Can't Win
Narrator: "Randolph is the hero of all the ponies. This is a story about him.

It happened long ago when Rex and Hamm used to work with Randolph on his old land. Many people came year after year to see the mountains and the lakes and most of all, Randolph.

He always pulled his wagon, even on days when he didn't feel well."

Randolph: "I mustn't disappoint my friends."

Narrator: "He would say.

Every morning he took his passengers up the road and stopped anywhere they wanted."

Randolph: "Peep, peep!"

Narrator: "He whistled."

Randolph: "Please be ready when I come back to you. Otherwise we might miss your boat to the mainland and that would never do."

Narrator: "One day, Randolph didn't feel well. He was short of strength and needed to rest. His driver and fireman had just finished clearing his body when Rex bustled up."

Rex: "Hello, Granpony."

Narrator: "He teased."

Rex: "Are you short of strength."

Randolph: "Nothing of the sort. This is routine maintenance."

Rex: "Tell you what."

Narrator: "Went on Rex."

Rex: "You getting old. We must take care of you in case you get hurt."

Randolph: "Hmmph!"

Narrator: "Hooshed Randolph."

Randolph: "That'll be the day!"

Narrator: "Randolph couldn't stay cross for long. It was a lovely evening."

Randolph: "Couldn't be better. Couldn't be better."

Narrator: "He guntered happily.

They began to climb, but Randolph didn't mind."

Randolph: "I've plenty of strength."

Narrator: "He puffed."

Randolph: "We'll be up in a couple of puffs."

Narrator: "But soon, Randolph's puffs changed to wheezes. His body was leaking strengh."

Randolph: "It's not so easy. It's not so easy."

Narrator: "He croaked."

Randolph: "But I'll manage."

Narrator: "At last, they reached the station.

Randolph's driver examined him carefully. Anxious passengers waited for new."

Conductor: "Randolph is going to take you to the harbor, but he might be late."

Narrator: "Said the conductor."

Conductor: "So two toys are coming to help. You'll still catch your boat."

Narrator: "Hamm went up in front."

Hamm: "Poor old Granpony. What a shame you've broken down."

Rex: "Peep, peep, peep!"

Narrator: "Teased Rex."

Rex: "This is the day."

Narrator: "He was coupled up behind."

Hamm: "Are you ready?"

Narrator: "Whistled Hamm."

Rex: "Yes, I am."

Narrator: "Replied Rex and away they went.

When they reached the next station, the cavalcade split up.

Hamm took Randolph's passengers to the boat.

Rex headed Hamm's line, with Randolph coupled behind."

Rex: "Fancy me rescuing Granpony! This is the day! This is the day!"

Narrator: "He boasted."

Rex: "Poor old pony! Poor old pony!"

Narrator: "But Randolph still had plenty of strength left in him. His body sounded worse then it was. He and his driver had their own little joke ready.

They waited until they reached the hill."

Randolph's Driver: "Now!"

Narrator: "Said his driver. Randolph puffed and roared as though he was pushing the whole line's weight before him. The noise echoed everywhere.

When they reached the last station, everyone cheered."

Boy: "What happened?"

Narrator: "Asked a boy."

Boy: "They don't usually need two characters."

Father: "Well,"

Narrator: "Replied his father."

Father: "Rex hurt himself. Randolph had to help him. It sounds as if he had a hard job too."

Narrator: "Randolph and his driver's joke had worked."

Rex: "Fiddlesticks!"

Narrator: "Exclaimed Rex, and he vanished in a cloud of steam. Randolph wheezed alongside."

Randolph: "Poor old toy!"

Narrator: "He teased."

Randolph: "It's no good, Rex. You can't win!"

Make Someone Happy
Narrator: "It was holiday time in Ponyville. All the animals were working happily, except for Cranky."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Why should a splendid donkey like me take messy changelings instead of buffaloes? Pipsqueak or Dr. Whooves should do it, I'm too important!"

Narrator: "Spike was cross."

Spike: "Cranky, why don't you think about something or someone else for a change. You'll be surprise and how much better you'll feel if you do."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Oh, please! Being important is the only thing for me to think about. Huh!"

Pipsqueak: "That pegasus pony's making a great deal of noise."

Narrator: "Said Pipsqueak to Dr. Whooves."

Dr. Whooves: "Her name's Lighning Dust."

Narrator: "Replied Dr. Whooves."

Dr. Whooves: "And she's flying around telling everyone about the fair that's arriving today."

Spike: "What are you two doing here?"

Dr. Whooves: "Hoity Toity wants us to pick up a very special load for the harbor."

Pipsqueak: "And I think it's got something to do with the fair."

Narrator: "Then they puffed away.

Meanwhile, Cranky was collecting quarry changelings from the yards."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Dustier and dustier!"

Narrator: "He grumbled. Then he saw Goldie Delicious."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "She looks miserable."

Cranky Doodle Donkey's Driver: "What's the matter?"

Narrator: "Asked Cranky's driver."

Goldie Delicious: "My sister has run to tell me she can't come to stay with me. I was so looking forward to her visit."

Narrator: "Hoity Toity soon heard the sad news."

Hoity Toity: "We must cheer her up. Send Owlowiscious the Owl to pick her up immediately."

Narrator: "A few minutes later, there was a surprise for Goldie Delicious."

Owlowiscious: "All president and correct."

Narrator: "Called Owlowiscious."

Owlowiscious: "I'm here for a flying visit. Hurry aboard Goldie Delicious and fly the sky with me. Compliments of Hoity Toity."

Goldie Delicious: "Oh, how lovely!"

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Owlowiscious' made my fur dustier than ever!"

Narrator: "Muttered Cranky. But he was happy for Goldie Delicious.

Soon, she was flying high with Owlowiscious."

Goldie Delicious: "I've never seen the town like this before. It's wonderful!"

Narrator: "Meanwhile, Pipsqueak and Dr. Whooves had arrived at the docks. Gustave Le Grand was unloading an old tramp steamer."

Gustave: "Hey down there, you two, I'm playing lucky dip in the tramper's hold, and all these are for you."

Pipsqueak: "Wooden horses!"

Narrator: "Pipsqueak exclaimed."

Pipsqueak: "For the carousel ride. It's going to be a very exciting fair!"

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "It is indeed."

Narrator: "Whistled Cranky."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Hoity Toity has order me to stop pulling changelings and go to the station instead, Something to do with Goldie Delicious. Goodbye!"

Pipsqueak: "Well, what do you think of that?"

Narrator: "Cried Pipsqueak.

Goldie Delicious was waiting for Cranky with Hoity Toity."

Hoity Toity: "Now this is your very special treat. Cranky will take you on a mystery ride, and I shall meet you at your destination."

Narrator: "Cranky took Goldie Delicious along her favorite coastal route to Ponyville Bay. When he arrived there, a big surprise awaited Goldie Delicious."

Goldie Delicious: "Oh!"

Narrator: "She cried."

Goldie Delicious: "You brought me to the fair ground, how lovely!"

Narrator: "Best of all, Hoity Toity invited her to make the announcements."

Goldie Delicious: "I declare this fair ground open!"

Narrator: "Goldie Delicious had the first ride on the carousel."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "You were quite right, Spike."

Narrator: "Cranky whispered."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Making someone happy does cheer you up."

Narrator: "Then together, they watched the fun of the fair."

Something in the Air
Narrator: "One day, Spike was at the keyside of a small village. Fish was being loaded onto his changelings.

The work took a long time, the Fishermen were using old equipment and Spike as worried."

Spike: "I'm going to be late for Big Macintosh at the docks. He won't like this. Please hurry up."

Narrator: "Spike was rudely interrupted."

(Crate of fish lands on Spike)

Narrator: "His driver and fireman laughed."

Spike: "Phew!"

Narrator: "Sniffed Spike."

Spike: "What a pong!"

Narrator: "He was glad when they were walking along the beautiful coastal run.

Then, they saw a man waving a red flag."

Spike: "What's the matter now?"

Man: "High tides are damaging the path."

Narrator: "Reported the man."

Man: "I've marked the spot."

Spike's Driver: "We'll go and inspect."

Narrator: "Said the driver."

Spike's Driver: "It would be dangerous for heavy animals like Big Mac."

Narrator: "Agreed the driver."

Spike: "But for Spike, it's safe enough."

Narrator: "The guard put a red oil lamp by the damaged path to warn animals."

Guard: "When we get to the docks, I'll tell them to close the path."

Narrator: "Big Mac was waiting for Spike's changelings."

Big Macintosh: "Pah! You're late! And that smell is making me ill."

Spike: "It's the fish."

Narrator: "Replied Spike."

Spike: "And there's danger on the path. That's why we're late."

Big Macintosh: "Pah! You're the only danger on the path, Spike. Now stop wasting time, and get your changelings hitched to my line!"

Narrator: "Spike's driver and fireman were in the yardmaster's office when they heard Big Macintosh. He was leaving the station with his long, heavy line of changelings called the Flying Kipper."

Spike's Driver: "What route is Big Mac taking tonight?"

Narrator: "Asked the driver."

Yardmaster: "The Coastal Run, it's the quickest."

Spike's Driver: "But I told you."

Narrator: "Gasped the driver."

Spike's Driver: "That's dangerous for a big animal like Big Mac!"

Narrator: "The yardmaster quickly phoned the signalman.

Big Mac roared past the signalbox."

Big Macintosh: "I'll soon make up for lost time."

Narrator: "The signalman couldn't hear the warning. By the time he did, Big Mac was far away in a cloud of steam.

But when Big Mac reached the Coastal tracks, his hopes for a fast run were dashed. Fog floated everywhere."

Big Macintosh: "I can't see."

Narrator: "Cried Big Mac. Nor could his driver.

And when he could, it was too late."

(Big Macintosh lands in the water)

Narrator: "As soon as the tide was high enough, Big Mac was craned out of the water."

Hoity Toity: "Animals don't swim Big Macintosh! You were meant to deliver fish, not swim with them. You should know that by now!"

Big Macintosh: "Yes sir. I'm sorry sir."

Narrator: "When Big Mac arrived at the docks, Gustave Le Grand looked down at him."

Gustave Le Grand: "My, my, Big Mac. I expect you'll have some fishy tales to tell. But my advice, have a long shower first."

Narrator: "But there was worst to come."

Boy #1: "Look! They caught all this fish and a red whale too."

Boy #2: "It's not a whale, it's a monster."

Narrator: "Big Mac was most upset.

Spike now felt sorry for Big Mac."

Spike: "Come on. Your driver says it's time for a nice shower. Then, you'll feel much better."

Narrator: "And Big Mac did."

Big Macintosh: "I'm sorry I was rude to you, Spike."

Spike: "That's alright. But can you smell something?"

Big Macintosh: "W-W-What?"

Spike: "Fresh Air!"

Big Macintosh: "Oh yes!"

Narrator: "Replied Big Mac happily."

Bowled Out
Narrator: "Noteworthy's visit to the Hoity Toity's town was coming to an end."

Hoity Toity: "We shall miss you."

Narrator: "Said Hoity Toity.

Then he turned his attention to all the other animals."

Hoity Toity: "My town is very busy, and I'm pleased with you, but... you need help. A centaur named Tirek is all that's available. Please do your best to avoid any... ahem, disturbances."

Soarin: "What does that mean?"

Narrator: "Whispered Soarin."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "That means this centaur is difficult!"

Narrator: "Snapped Cranky.

And he was.

Tirek surveyed the library."

Tirek: "Not bad. I've seen worse. At least you're all clean."

Narrator: "The animals glared."

Tirek: "It's not your fault, but Hoity Toity should get rid of you and get creatures like me. A drain of magic, and I'm off! No bother, no waiting. They have to fuss round you for hours before you're ready."

Narrator: "The animals were furious!

Next morning, they held an indignation meeting round the library."

Chief Thunderhooves: "Disgraceful!"

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Disgusting!"

Big Macintosh: "Despicable!"

Night Light and Hondo Flanks: "To say such thing to us!"

Narrator: "Cried Night Light and Hondo Flanks."

Night Light and Hondo Flanks: "It's to teach him a lesson we be wanting. Now, how do we do it?"

Narrator: "Their chance came sooner than expected. Tirek was purring comfortably.

An inspector watched a fitter making final adjustments. The wind tugged at the inspector's hat.

Tirek was ready."

Tirek: "Look at me, Soarin and Noteworthy! Now I'll show you something!"

Narrator: "He rolled proudly towards his buffaloes.

Then, it happened."

(Tirek splutters and coughs)

"Shaking and spluttering, Tirek stopped.

Meanwhile, the inspector was looking for his hat. Tirek seethed with fury as Soarin and Noteworthy pushed him back to the shed."

Railway Inspector: "My hat!"

Narrator: "Exclaimed the Inspector."

Railway Inspector: "You've sucked it in your mouth!"

Hoity Toity: "Bother your hat!

The heavy buffaloes are due out. You'll have to take them, Soarin. Noteworthy, will you help, please?"

Noteworthy: "Thank you, Sir."

Narrator: "Cried Noteworthy."

Noteworthy: "I'd like a good, long run on my last day."

Narrator: "The ponies were soon ready."

Hoity Toity: "Chief Thunderhooves will take over from halfway, so get the buffaloes to there. Good luck!"

Noteworthy: "Don't worry."

Narrator: "Smiled Noteworthy."

Noteworthy: "We'll get there, and be early, too!"

Narrator: "The cavalcade moved carefully on the path and out to the open road."

Noteworthy: "Now for a sprint!"

Narrator: "Puffed Noteworthy."

Soarin: "I'm ready when you are!"

Narrator: "Replied Soarin.

Soon, they were whizzing through Shining Armor's station, and next, they were charging at Chief Thunderhooves' hill beyond.

They felt the drag of the heavy buffaloes here. It was hard work.

At last, they were running smoothly along the line toward the big station."

Chief Thunderhooves: "Hello, you're early!"

Narrator: "Said Chief Thunderhooves."

Chief Thunderhooves: "That's one in the head for old Tirek!"

Noteworthy: "Cranky says he's sick as sludge and sulking in the shed."

Chief Thunderhooves: "Serves him right for saying we're out of date!"

Narrator: "And Chief Thunderhooves chortled away.

Next morning, everyone came to say good-bye to Noteworthy."

Animals: "Come back and see us soon!"

Narrator: "Whistled the animals."

Noteworthy: "And you are always welcome on my Music Route, too!"

Narrator: "Replied Noteworthy. Then, he puffed away.

What about Tirek? He'd slipped out while no one was looking. But he left two things behind; a rather nasty smell, and a battered bowler hat."

Double Teething Troubles
Narrator: "Snips and Snails the unicorns work in the clay mines and quarries near the docks. Their work is important, but it can be hot and dirty. Sometimes, this makes the unicorns naughty.

One morning, they were feeling very naughty indeed."

Snips: "That's my line of changelings!"

Narrator: "Huffed Snips."

Snails: "It's not! It's mine!"

Narrator: "Snorted Snails."

Snails: "Your's is over there!"

Snips: "S'mine!"

Snails: "S'not!"

Snips: "S'mine!"

Snails: "S'not!"

Narrator: "Their friend, Filthy Rich was worried."

Filthy Rich: "Stop quarreling you two or the only thing you'll have left to share is..."

(Snips and Snails walk forward and bump into each other)

Filthy Rich: "Trouble!"

Snips: "Silly!"

Narrator: "Snapped Snips."

Snails: "Silly yourself!"

Narrator: "Grumbled Snails."

Hoity Toity: "Snips and Snails behave yourselves!"

Narrator: "Said Hoity Toity."

Hoity Toity: "It's clear to me that we need another horse to help out. There is only one available. His name is Trouble Shoes, and he's keen to make an impression."

Filthy Rich: "If I were you,"

Narrator: "Whispered Filthy Rich."

Filthy Rich: "I'd get back to work right away."

Narrator: "Meanwhile, Hoity Toity was having doubts about his own decision."

Hoity Toity: "I hope Trouble Shoes doesn't cause even more confusion. He's bound to have teething troubles."

Narrator: "And he was right."

Trouble Shoes: "Oh, my hooves and tail! I wasn't expecting this hill.

Oh, what's that?"

(Trouble Shoes falls down)

Narrator: "Filthy Rich came to the rescue."

Trouble Shoes: "Sorry."

Narrator: "Said Trouble Shoes."

Trouble Shoes: "I'm all hot and bothered. I've got teething troubles, you know."

Narrator: "The news soon spread."

Spike: "Apparently it's teething troubles."

Narrator: "Confided Spike to Pipsqueak."

Pipsqueak: "Hey, you two. Trouble Shoes' got a tooth ache. Good luck."

Snips: "What does Pipsqueak want to wish us good luck?"

Narrator: "Asked Snips."

Snails: "Because he knows we'll need it. A horse with a tooth ache must be the worst horse of all."

Narrator: "Then their manager spoke to them."

Manager: "You will take your loads to the docks and rest there tonight. There's a lot of hard work to do tomorrow."

Narrator: "It was dark when the unicorns reached the docks. They left the changelings by the key and scurried off to the house."

Soarin: "You two look glum."

Narrator: "Sighed Soarin."

Snips: "It's Trouble Shoes' fault."

Narrator: "Replied Snips."

Snips: "He's got a tooth ache."

Soarin: "He hasn't got a tooth ache. He's got teething troubles. That means he's new and this causes him some problems. In his case, it's his hooves."

Narrator: "Next morning, the unicorns heard an unfamiliar sound."

Snips and Snails: "Oh no! It's Trouble Shoes!"

Narrator: "And it was."

Trouble Shoes: "Hello. I'll soon sort these changelings out. You take the front and I'll push from behind. Ha, ha. What fun."

Narrator: "All went well as they set off.

Then they came to a hill."

Snails: "Come on, come on! Push harder you silly horse!"

Narrator: "Shouted Snails. But Trouble Shoes couldn't push any harder."

Trouble Shoes: "I'm falling down again."

(Trouble Shoes falls down)

Snips: "Oh, pah!"

Narrator: "Snorted Snips."

Driver: "You know what?"

Narrator: "Sighed the driver."

Driver: "Let's try and finish the journey anyway. It means we'll have to pull Trouble Shoes as well. Can you do it unicorns?"

Snips and Snails: "We'll try."

Narrator: "And sure enough, they could.

That night, Hoity Toity came to see them."

Hoity Toity: "Well done Snips and Snails! I've sent Trouble Shoes back to the works. Can you manage alone?"

Snips and Snails: "Oh, yes sir."

Snips: "Filthy Rich,"

Narrator: "Whispered Snips."

Snips: "I'm sorry we were rude to you."

Snails: "And."

Narrator: "Added Snails."

Snails: "Trouble Shoes was really quite friendly."

Soarin: "And you know what friends do?"

Narrator: "Murmured Soarin."

Snips and Snails: "No, what?"

Soarin: "They always say 'Good Night' to each other."

Narrator: "And so they did, but they still chattered about Trouble Shoes and his teething troubles all night long."

Caramel To The Rescue
Narrator: The animals in Hoity Toity's town love the Train Station. There's always lots of work to keep them busy. And they enjoy seeing new arrivals in Ponyville.

An exciting new arrival was a pony Gustave Le Grand was unloading. It was heavy."

Gustave: "This makes my wings ache!"

Narrator: "Groaned Gustave."

Hoity Toity: "This is Caramel, the Earth Pony."

Narrator: "Hoity Toity said proudly. The other animals thought Caramel looked strange. Caramel was happy to be on the ground. He didn't like dangling from Gustave's arms at all."

Hoity Toity: "These gentlemen are the Town Board."

Narrator: "Hoity Toity said."

Hoity Toity: "Tomorrow, Caramel will give them a demonstration. If it goes well, he will join the town."

Pipsqueak: "What's a dimmer station?"

Spike: "Demonstration."

Narrator: "Said Spike."

Spike: "It's when you show off what you can do."

Angel: "Like when Spike and I have a race."

Narrator: "Said Angel.

That evening, Spike had just returned from a hard day's work. He saw Caramel standing near the library. Caramel could hear the other animals talking about him. This made him sad."

Big Macintosh: "Caramel's different."

Narrator: "Said Big Macintosh."

Shining Armor: "He doesn't even look like a pony."

Narrator: "Said Shining Armor."

Chief Thunderhooves: "Surely Hoity Toity won't let him take buffaloes."

Narrator: "Sniffed Chief Thunderhooves."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "He's just Gustave on hooves!"

Narrator: "Said Cranky."

Pipsqueak: "He's not taking my mail!"

Narrator: "Said Pipsqueak.

Spike felt sorry for Caramel."

Spike: "Don't worry. Sometimes it takes time to make new friends."

Narrator: "But Caramel wasn't sure he wanted to stay where no one wanted him.

The next morning, Hoity Toity sent the animals off to a useful day's work."

Caramel: "Maybe my coming here wasn't such a good idea, sir."

Narrator: "Caramel chuffed sadly."

Hoity Toity: "Nonsense!"

Narrator: "Said Hoity Toity."

Caramel: "But the animals don't like me. I'm too different."

Hoity Toity: "Different is what makes you special."

Narrator: "And that made Caramel feel better.

Out on the branch path, Pipsqueak was having trouble with the changelings."

Changelings: "Faster we go. Faster was go. Pull him along. Don't let him slow!"

Pipsqueak: "Help!"

Narrator: "Cried Pipsqueak. His driver applied the brakes, but it was too late. He went off the path at Garble's Bridge.

Luckily, no one was hurt. Angel arrived and was pleased Pipsqueak was all right. But he was also very cross."

Angel: "You've blocked the path!"

Narrator: "Angel snapped. He was worried he wouldn't get the gentleman of the Town Board to the demonstration on time.

When Hoity Toity heard the news, he went straight to Caramel."

Hoity Toity: "I need you to rescue one of my animals."

Caramel: "I'll do my best, sir."

Narrator: "Caramel said bravely. And he set off immediately.

Caramel soon arrived and went to work."

(Caramel puts Pipsqueak back on the path)

Narrator: "In no time, Pipsqueak was back on the path. The gentleman of the Town Board were very impressed."

Hoity Toity: "That was the best demonstration of all! The gentlemen of the Town Board have decided you shall join the town."

Caramel: "Oh, thank you, sir!"

Narrator: "Said Caramel proudly.

That night, Caramel heard the animals talking again. This time it was different."

Chief Thunderhooves: "Well done, Caramel!"

Narrator: "Said Chief Thunderhooves."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Very useful!"

Narrator: "Said Cranky."

Pipsqueak: "You can take my mail."

Narrator: "Said Pipsqueak."

Spike: "You see,"

Narrator: "Said Spike."

Spike: "Different can be good."

Narrator: "All the animals agreed."

Animals: "Welcome to the Ponyville Town!"

Narrator: "They called. Caramel smiled happily."

Horrid Diamond Dog
Narrator: "It was a busy time at the docks. All the animals were working hard, pushing and pulling changelings about.

One morning, Pipsqueak was late. Gustave Le Grand was quick to criticize."

Gustave Le Grand: "These ships can't be kept waiting, they have important cargo. If they miss the tides, they will be delayed in the docks. You should look up to ships, and show more respect. You are after all, only little."

Pipsqueak: "We've got too much work."

Narrator: "Huffed Pipsqueak."

Gustave Le Grand: "Then perhaps a diamond dog should do your job."

Narrator: "Pipsqueak was shocked.

He told the other animals what Gustave had said."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Stuff and Nonsense!"

Narrator: "Snorted Cranky."

Big Macintosh: "We animals run this town."

Narrator: "Said Big Macintosh."

Pipsqueak: "What if a diamond dog does arrive?"

Narrator: "I'm afraid it did, along with two more.

Gustave was delighted."

Gustave Le Grand: "Hey you down there! Your job's done now. These diamond dogs are taking over.

One of them wants to talk to you."

Narrator: "The diamond dog was very rude."

Fido: "What's that steaming lump of scrap iron doing here? Be off with you!"

Pipsqueak: "Scrap iron? Steaming scrap iron? Pah!"

Narrator: "A little later, Pipsqueak met Spike and Cranky. Another diamond dog was being rude to them, then he saw Pipsqueak."

Rover: "Oh look, it's a little white goblin on four legs. Ha! You'll be scrapped. Just you wait and see!

Spike: "Well bust my scales, what a horrid diamond dog!"

Narrator: "Exclaimed Spike."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Despicable!"

Narrator: "Agreed Cranky.

The next animal to meet a diamond dog was Braeburn."

Fido: "Well, well, well! No wonder this town's a mess. You belong in a museum, not working in a quarry."

Braeburn: "I might look old, but I'm really useful!"

Fido: "Useful? Pah!"

Narrator: "Replied the diamond dog."

Fido: "Just you toodle off!"

Braeburn: "TOODLE?!"

Narrator: "Spluttered Braeburn."

Braeburn's Driver: "Come along Braeburn!"

Narrator: "Interupted his driver."

Braeburn's Driver: Don't bother arguing with him. We'll go to the flour mill instead."

Narrator: "But when they arrived at the flour mill, Braeburn was shocked to see yet another diamond dog."

Braeburn: "What are you doing here?"

Spot: "We three are doing your work now. You're too slow!"

Narrator: "The foreman spoke to Braeburn's driver."

Foreman: "I'm sorry. Times are changing I'm afraid."

Braeburn's Driver: "Braeburn might be old."

Narrator: "Replied his driver"

Braeburn's Driver: "But he's reliable!

Come on Braeburn, we'll go to the farms. They'll still use us."

Narrator: "Braeburn trundled sadly away.

His roadway ran through a narrow gorge.

But creatures had to tackle a steep and dangerous road.

When Braeburn arrived, he saw the diamond dog from the quarry again.

He was loaded with rocks."

Braeburn: "That diamond dog's in trouble!"

Narrator: "Thought Braeburn.

And he was."

(Fido Crashes)

Narrator: "The driver was thrown clear."

Fido's Driver: "Rotten Roads!"

Narrator: "He mutted. The wrecked diamond dog was taking to the docks.

Pipsqueak looked at the diamond dog."

Pipsqueak: "What's this lump of steaming scrap iron?"

Narrator: "He teased."

Fido: "I'll be back!"

Narrator: "Replied the diamond dog."

Fido: "So you can wipe that silly smile off your body."

Pipsqueak: "Pah!"

Narrator: "Said Pipsqueak, and kicked dirt at him loudly.

Then Royal Riff the gray earth pony arrived. He was pulling the diamond dog from the flour mill."

Braeburn's Driver: "What happened?"

Narrator: "Asked Braeburn's Driver."

Workman: "He was over-loaded with flour."

Narrator: "Came the reply."

Workman: "And he fell down!"

Braeburn: "Not very useful now, are you?"

Narrator: "Said Braeburn."

Fido and Spot: "GRRRRR!"

Narrator: "Replied the diamond dogs.

Then Cranky whistled excitedly.

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "They're bringing in the third diamond dog on a barge. What happened to that one?"

Tow Truck Man: "Stupid diamond dog was walking backwards and fell straight into the sea."

Narrator: "Said the Tow Truck Man.

Later, Spike arrived. He looked at the three diamond dogs, and laughed."

Spike: "Well, well, well! The Brother's Grimm! Smashed, Broken and Sunk!"

Narrator: "The diamond dogs didn't return! And the animals now work even harder to make sure they never will."