Mr. Oldman Sketch 1

This is Mr. Oldman Sketch #1 from Season 1 of The Amanda Show.

Transcript

 * (Redhead sits on the couch, then picks up the phone and dials)
 * (Mr. Oldman's phone rings)
 * Mr. Oldman: You kids stay out of my yard! (picks up the phone and answers) Hello?
 * Redhead: Yeah, uh, this is Mrs. Lemon-Lemon-Lemon, I'm, uh, with The Cheese Company?
 * Mr. Oldman: The Cheese Company? Who do you wanna talk to, Mrs. Lemony-ominee?
 * Redhead: Uh, sir, what time can I drop some cheese by your house?
 * Mr. Oldman: Cheese? I didn't order any cheese.
 * Redhead: Sir, what color socks are you wearing?
 * Mr. Oldman: Well, they're a lovely blue, but what happened to our discussion of the cheeses?
 * Redhead: Sir, there's a bug on your shoulder!
 * Mr. Oldman: A bu--? (hits his shoulders with the phone thinking there's a bug) Ahh! Ahh! Ahh! Ahh! Ahh! Ahh! All right.
 * Redhead: Sir, what time would you like your cheese delivered?
 * Mr. Oldman: I tell ya, I didn't order and chee-- You have the wrong number!
 * Redhead: Uh, sir, can I borrow your car?
 * Mr. Oldman: Car? What happened to our discussion of the socks, and the cheeses and items?
 * Redhead: Duck!
 * Mr. Oldman: Ahh! (gets down, then stands back up again) All right, I ducked. But what was I trying to avoid?
 * Redhead: May I help you?
 * Mr. Oldman: You called me! You have the wrong number!
 * Redhead: Please hold for 3 hours.
 * Mr. Oldman: Hold for 3 hours?! Uh, all right. (looks at his wrist and holds for 3 hours) You have the wrong number! (Redhead makes funny faces) Hello? You have the wrong number! There's nothing right about it. The dented you dialed are inaccurate. I can't feel my feet. Hello? I'm damp and cold, and you have the wrong number! The number's wrong!