High Scale/Transcript

(The episode starts at Lilly's house)

Lilly: Gee. I haven't seen Sam in days. (to Fuzzy) Fuzzy, you don't look so good today. (Fuzzy sighs)

Fuzzy: Here we go again. (cut to Vet) Would it be easier to buy a dinner?

Lilly: Can I help you hold your stethoscope?

Sam: Lilly, there's nothing wrong with Fuzzy.

Fuzzy: See, he knows!

Sam: Nothing except his weight, of course.

Garfield: What do you know?

Sam: Which reminds me, I better see what he's doing in that department. (carries Fuzzy) 2 more pounds and we'll need a forklift to do this.

Fuzzy: Eh, Sarcastic remarks are my job! (they go to the scale)

Sam: You're going to inaugurate my new state-of-the-art animal scale, Fuzzy. Lilly, would you turn the dial to "Portly FurryPet"?

Lilly: (turns to dial) "Portly Furrypet" just as you asked! (Fuzzy was carried and stand on the scale)

Fuzzy: Huh?

Scale: YEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOWWWWW! (Fuzzy gets scared) Get off me, you overweight skinny furry and glue! (Fuzzy jumps up)

Fuzzy: Yikes! That thing talked! And it screamed at me! And it's rude!

Sam: Oh, I forgot to tell you, this is a talking scale.

Scale: Come back here, you bucket of lard! I'm wasn't finished with you!

Sam: But Fuzzy's heavier that he thought. It says he needs to lose two pounds right away by the end of the week, if possible.

Lilly And if he doesn't?

Sam: Then I think we have no choice to send him to the Furry Spot.

Garfield: Furry Spot? That sounds great. Massages, long naps, more massages, more long naps...

Sam: They'll put him on a strict low fat diet.

Fuzzy: (realizes) Strict low-fat diet?! (he climbs on Lilly) This low-fat diet, can I still eat brownies and pizza and porked fried rice and bacon wrapped with bacon, right?

Sam: Here's the video of the place I had in mind.

Narrator: Welcome to Samantha's Furry Spot. The world's leading health resort for lazy, overweight cats with attitude.

Sarah O'Connor: When we brought Hector to Samantha's Furry Spot, He was eating 12 meals a day.

Old Man: Well, when he got so fat, he had to walk to the living room from the kitchen, He took a cab!

Sarah: But thanks to Samantha's Furry Spot, this will all be hard to show.

Old Man: Well, look at Hector now! Doesn't he look positive and look healthy and alert? (Hector groans, Lilly and Fuzzy are shocked)

Narrator: At Samantha's Furry Spot, your beloved pet will be placed on a strict regalement of exercise and diet. (Hector groans after he eats food, the video ends)

Lilly: But, Fuzzy can't go to that place!

Fuzzy: Yeah, Listen to Lilly, she's right for a change!

Sam: Either he loses 2 pounds at the end of the week, or it's the Furry Spot for him. (Lilly and Fuzzy get scared and shudder) Here, take the scale home with you so you can monitor his process.

Lilly: I'll do my best to send him down. Do you think you can do that, Fuzzy? FUZZY?! (she sees Fuzzy eat a sandwich) FUZZY! That's Sam's lunch!

Fuzzy: Well, watching all that exercise made me...hungry. (he nervously laughs; cut to his house)

Lilly: Fuzzy! Dinner's ready!

Fuzzy: I want brownies and snails and chinese food and chocolate cream pie and roast beef, and a side of roast beef, and a third helping of my second helpings and... (he sees his dinner is a lettuce leaf) Hey. What's this?

Lilly: Enjoy your lettuce leaf, Fuzzy.

Fuzzy: (he examines it, tastes it and eats it, but doesn't like it) Gee. I was expecting food. (he looks in the fridge to get food)

Lilly: (calling Sam) I put him on that strict diet you recommended, Sam. (she sees Fuzzy with the leaf covered with food)

Fuzzy: You know these things aren't half bad when you cover it in whipped cream and chocolate sauce.

Jon: Uh, I'll call you back, Liz. (to Garfield) Let's see where we stand now. (Garfield on the scale)

Scale: Hey, you gained another pound! Ha! Nice going, ratso! A few more ounces and you'll be qualified for your own zipcode!

Lilly: See, Now you have to lose 3 Pounds!

Fuzzy: I'll worry about it in the morning. (he goes upstairs)

Lilly: I don't know what have to happen to take this seriously. (cut to Fuzzy in bed, is nighttime) (sighing)

Fuzzy: Man! Lilly, won't send me to that furry pet place. (he begins to sleep) Even if I did, it wouldn't be so bad...wouldn't be so bad...(cut to cat spa; black and white but Fuzzy is still blue, but in jail) Hey! Let me out! Please! Let me out! I don't belong here! It's all a big mistake, I tell you! I'm not overweight! I just have a big very big of fur!

Hector: I wouldn't do that if I were you. Nurse Psycho doesn't like it when we scream in terror.

Fuzzy: NURSE PSYCHO?!

Hector: You don't wanna know what she did to the last fat, obese cat that complained!

Fuzzy: What did she do?

Hector: (shivers) Let's put it this way. It was me.

Fuzzy: No! No! No! Lilly! Would there be someone else compliant! HELP! Wait. I have to get a grip. Nurse Psycho can't possibly be that bad. (She arrives)

Nurse Psycho: WHERE'S THE NEW FURRY MONSTER?

Fuzzy: Oh yeah, she can possibly be that bad.

Nurse Psycho: Oh, There you are. Have you been screaming in terror?!

Fuzzy: Oh, me? Ah, no. I was practicing my yodeling. Listen. (yodels, then was carried)

Nurse Psycho: We're going to get you into shape. (cut to cafeteria) First, dinner.

Fuzzy: Dinner's good.

Nurse Psycho: I hope you like "pea".

Fuzzy: Peas? Sure, I like peas.

Nurse Psycho: No. Pea. (serves a plate with a single pea) One pea. (Garfield looks at the pea with a glass of water, but only a drop of water)

Fuzzy: Gee. That's a pretty small pea. (to Audience) Would you all please turn away? (sniffs) I don't wanna cry when my fans are watching.

Nurse Psycho: Eat it!

Fuzzy: Can I eat half now? And take the rest home in a doggie bag?

Nurse Psycho: EAT IT! You'll start to exercise as soon as you're finished.

Fuzzy: As soon as I finish it. Ok. Well, here it goes. (he lifts the pea and throws it in his mouth and chews on it) Mmm-mmm.(Nurse Psycho pounds the table with her fist, making Fuzzy swallowing the pea and belches loudly) Oh, my compliments to the chef!

Nurse Psycho: Now, it's time for your workout.

Fuzzy: Wait. I need time to digest my huge meal. (smiles, but does gymnastics)

Nurse Psycho: Up. Down. Up. Down. Up. Down. Now repeat for the rest of all eternity.

Fuzzy: No. I must've lost 2 pounds by now. (he goes to the scale)

Scale: Sorry, Pal. You're still fat.

Garfield: WHAT?! (he was dragged by Nurse Psycho, doing jogs and laps)

Nurse Psycho: FASTER! My grandmother came faster than that.

Garfield: Help! Her grandmother makes me do this to her! I must've lost weight by now. (he goes to the scale again)

Scale: Didn't you hear me, jumbo?! You're still fat. (Garfield gasps, but is dragged by Nurse Psycho, he does pushups)

Nurse Psycho: FASTER!

Fuzzy: (Groans), Oh boy!

Nurse Psycho: FASTER! (he does it) FASTER! (he gives up) We don't like slackers around here!

Fuzzy: What am I doing here? Why are you doing this to me?! And why is everything black-and-white?! I must've lost my weight by now! (Garfield goes to the scale once more)

Scale: Guess what, nerdy? (Fuzzy sees his true unveiled form and gasps; beep sound)

Fuzzy: Eek!

Mutant Spider Scale: That's right. You're fatter than ever. Even your flab is fat. (it's voice changes) You're so fat that when you sit around the house! YOU SIT AROUND THE HOUSE!!!

Fuzzy: Knock off the insults!

Mutant Spider Scale: You're so fat that when you step on a scale, it says one at a time, please. (Fuzzy closes the doors on him) You're so fat that you need to watch on each wrest one for each time zone! (he appears in front of Fuzzy; he screams) Among friend, Fuzzy. You're among friends now. I fact, ALL your friends ARE HERE! (Fuzzy looks around, flinchingly)

Garfield: But I don't see any friends.

Mutant Spider Scale: Here are your friends, Fuzzy. (the food comes out of nowhere) Pizza, ice cream, pie, cake, cheese, roast beef, and of course, lasagna! They're ALL your friends!

Talking Food: (all together) We're your friends, Fuzzy!

Fuzzy: Whoa!! Get away from me! (the food pleas to be Fuzzy's friend, and the scale evilly laughs) I have to lose weight! (he backs away from them until he falls down) '''AAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!! '''(Everything turns silent, Fuzzy wakes up; gasps; is dizzy from his dream) I have to lose weight! I have to lose weight!

Lilly: I don't know what to do, Sam. I can't get him to exercise! (he sees Fuzzy jogging with Plaqueo as his coach)

Plaqueo: Huh?

Garfield: 1,2,1,2,1,2,1,2...

Sam: Lilly? Lilly? There something wrong? (he then sees Fuzzy doing exercises and Plaqueo follows him blowing a whistle)

Fuzzy: I'll do situps after I finish my aerobics!

Lilly: Uh, I have to call you back, Sam. I seem to be having hallucinations. (she hangs up, and sees Fuzzy) Fuzzy, I'm so impressed! (Plaqueo comes in) I'm sure you lost at least 2 pounds! (Fuzzy gets on the scale)

Fuzzy: She better not insult me.

Scale: You still need to lose 2 pounds. Fuzzy is shocked by this, the scale laughs, and Fuzzy loses his mind, realzing it was from his nightmare, who instulted him)

Fuzzy: I cant understand it! You must've lost weight, you must have! (looks) OH! I see what the problem is. I was going to set it on "Portly Fuzz Monster", and by accident, I put it to "Pintsize Parakeet"! (Fuzzy grimaces this, Lilly turns the dials, making sure he lost weight) You're fine! In fact, you didn't have to lose 2 pounds in the first place! (Fuzzy gets mad at her) But isn't it good to drop a few pounds, Garfield? (He scares Lilly) Fuzzy? Why do you look so mad?! Fuzzy! (He flees) Please leave me alone! Don't hurt me! HELP! HELP! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

Fuzzy: I should go after her, but I have some more important things to do. (cut to zoo) Let's see what you weigh, jumbo! (An elephant puts one foot on the scale)

Scale: What are you? An elephant?! You really need to lose weight! You need to lose... (Powering Down).

Fuzzy: Yeah, I know it's cruel. But there's some things in this world you just can' forgive and making me exercise is most of them.

(Episode ends)