Andrew-bloop

Bloopers

1. NAP GUTIERREZ INTERVIEWING MANILYN REYNES IN MOVIE MAGAZINE

NAP: Saan ka movie outfit nakakontrata?

MANILYN: So far, hindi ko naman pinoproblema ang mga wardrobes ko kasi ex-deal naman eh.

2. JULLIE YAP DAZA GUESTING ON VILMA!

JULLIE: O Vi nag-guest na ko dito sa show. Ikaw,kailan ka naman mag-ge-guest sa show ko?

VILMA : Alam mo naman Tita Jullie, busy kami ni Ralph sa pag-a-arrange ng kasal namin. Siguro pagkatapos na lang ng marriage!

3. If I were to compare the stars of my era with the star discoveries of Dr. Rey delaCruz, it would be like placing the Taj Majal of India side by side with a Volkswagen. * CELIA RODRIGUEZ

4. RITA GOMEZ AS A JUDGE IN A BB. PILIPINAS PAGEANT, ASKING A CANDIDATE A QUESTION DURING THE Q AND A (CANDIDATE INCIDENTALLY IS MARIA ISABEL LOPEZ)

RITA: Here's your question, hija: Are you still a virgin?

MARIA ISABEL: If I say I still am, can I bring home the crown tonight?

RITA: Good answer!

MARIA ISABEL: What about you Ma'am, are you still a virgin?

RITA: Hija I have 5 children with 5 different fathers,what do you call that, Immaculate Conception???

5. Ang ganda ng gospel number na yon, napaka-enlighting. Teka magpupunas lang ako, I'm sweatening.*VILMA SANTOS

6. Thank you, Lucky for the flowers...where did they came from? *VILMA SANTOS

7. Being Miss Universe is like having a birthstone, you may lose it. Being a Filipina is like having a birthmark, it's forever. *MARGIE MORAN DURING THE Q AND A PORTION OF THE 1973 MISS UNIVERSE, ASKED WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN BEING MISS UNIVERSE AND BEING A FILIPINA

8. Salamat po sa Board of Judges. Ito na ho yata ang pinakamaligaya kong pasko at manigong bagong taon sa inyong lahat. * MELANIE MARQUEZ'S ACCEPTANCE SPEECH FOR WINNING BEST ACTRESS IN A METRO FILMFEST

9. Successful naman ang libing ng nanay ko. *BABETTE VILLARUEL

10. "Sa t ingin ko ang pinaka-asset ko sa mukha ko ay ugali!Mabait kasi ako eh" *MR. POGI CONTESTANT'S ANSWER TO THE QUESTION: ANO SA MUKHA MO ANG PINAKA-ASSET MO?

11. Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen! I am Ma. Rosario Liboon, I come from the beautiful city of Pangasinan...City! *SHE'S GOT THE LOOK CONTESTANT

12. Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen! I am Carmelita HErnandez, I come from Pasay City and I want to be a medicine! *ANOTHER SHE'S GOT THE LOOK CONTESTANT DURING THE PARADE OF CONTESTANTS

13. BOY A: O Melanie, do you have any message to your mother-in-law in casenanonood siya ngayon!

MELANIE: You know what Kuya Boy, I have to speak in English cause she cannot understand Tagalog. "You know what Mrs. Dee...I've long been wanting to tell you this... Ang labo mo!"

14. EDU: So who's to blame?

VILMA: Excuse me, it's not my fault anymore. It's your fault anymore!

15. OVERHEARD FROM A GIRL NA GALIT SA KARARATING NA BOYFRIEND SA STARBUCKS.

GIRL : My God you're so late. Where did you...Where have you...Where do you... saan ka ba galing???

16. HOST : WHICH DO YOU PREFER: BLONDE OR DUMB?

GIRL : DUMB NA LANG AT LEAST HINDI AKO MAPAGKAKAMALANG BLONDE!

17.DESSA AFTER SINGING A SPOT NUMBER IN A REGINE VELASQUEZ CONCERT. DESSA APPARENTLY SANG A VERY VOCALLY CHALLENGING SONG AND AS EXPECTED, ENDED iT WITH A THROAT BREAKING NOTE. REGINE ENTERS.

DESSA : O kala mo ikaw lang ang mataas ang boses.Kaya mo yun?

REGINE : Eh ano ngayon, maganda ka ba?

18. SABRINA M. MAKES TARAY TO OSANG IN A TALK SHOW.

SABRINA M: At least hindi naman ako katulad ng iba diyan na retokado ang boobs.

OSANG : Hoy Sabrina, oo nga itong boobs ko retokado. Pero at least ang ngipin ko hindi pustiso tulad ng sa yo! Ooops huwag kang magagalit baka malaglag yan sa sahig!

19. "I am inviting all the televiewers to watch our movie "14 Going Steady" on the twenty-twoth of November.... " (HAY NAKU, O SIYA....) -Nadia Montenegro

20. "Sana po'y panoorin natin ang The Life Story Of Julie Vega...alam kong masaya si Julie ngayon dahil it's just around the corner. (GAWIN DAW BANG CHRISTMAS SPIRIT SI JULIE?) -Nadia Montenegro

21. "I am not an addict. I am the victims!" (WALA TALAGA SIYANG PAGOD,NO?)-Melanie Marquez

22. Host: "Ano ba ang pinaka-favorite mong movie lately, Melanie?"

Melanie:"Maganda yung kay Emma Thompson at Kate Winslet, yung "Simple and Simplicity". -it’s supposed to be Sense and Sensibility

23. "Magandang Tanghali po, ako po si Luzviminda Cortez mula sa Camarines Sur, sumalangit na po ang inyong kaluluwa!" -Miss Gay Philippines candidate during the parade of candidates

24. Bb. Filipina contestant was asked by Apa Ongpin which of the five senses she could do without, she answered "my eyes." Apa asked, why her eyes? She replied, "Because I've got beautiful eyes." (with matching sultry look)

25. When asked what place in the Philippines she would boast about, Calendar girl contestant replied: "Bocaue" Intrigued hosts ask, "What about Bocaue? What's in it to boast about?" Girl replied: "Why, the Bocaue rice terraces of course."

26. A reporter complimented Mark Anthony Fernandez: "Mark Anthony, ang cute cute mo, you've got rosy cheeks just like your mom!" To which he replied: "Syempre, it runs to the blood e."

27. melanie marquez and boy abunda:

boy: o melanie, paano na ang showbiz career mo ngayong nagmo-mormon ka na?

melanie: a okay lang yan boy kasi matagal na rin akong semi-retarded.

28. super sireyna contest:

emcee: anong masasabi mo sa death penalty?

bading; a ano po yun toot por toot, eye por eye.

emcee: paki-eksplika nga?

bading: ganito po yun: kung pinatay mo ang nanay ko, dapat, patayin din ang nanay mo!

29. little miss phiippines contest

emcee: anong gusto mong maging paglaki mo? little miss contestant: maging lalaki po.

30. little miss phiippines contest

emcee (to boy consort, inaalaska): okay 'tong suot mo boy, a!

boy consort: 'TANG INA MO!

31. mr. world philippines contest

emcee: what do you think should a man possess to be successful?

contestant: i think, that for a man to be successful, he should be a responsible, because if he should not be a responsible, he will not have a successful. that is all. i thank you.

32. kuya germs, interviewing the boygroup, 98 degrees

kuya germs: are you already married?

98 member: no, i'm still single.

kuya: WOW! imagine that! what a koynseedense! three years ago, you are here, you are single. i am here, i am single. now, three years after, you are still here, you are still single. i am still here, i am still

single! it's anbeeleebabol!

33. hetero talent scout, sighting a super gorgeous girl, and trying to score points

talent scout: excuse me. are you a commercial? (after five milliseconds and realizing booboo). model?

the weird part of this story is that, kumagat ang girl. at magsyota na sila ni mr. booboo. baka mas malala pa ingles ni girl kasi.

34. leonardo litton and rodel velayo, guesting on keep on dancing

charlene gonzales: hi leonardo, hi rodel, welcome to keep on dancing!

leonardo litton: welcome din po!

35. boy abunda and anabel rama

boy: anabel, anong masasabi mo sa mga insinuation ni isabel, na para bang, bugaw ka?

anabel: eekskyus me no, buuy!!?? kaldiro lang ang binibinta ko nuun, sa istayts!!! hinde ako nagbibinta ng pikpik!!!

36. TV patrol coverage by JV Villar, of an old and ugly transvestite hooker, CANDY, reporting to police the alleged homicide attack on him/her by SAID ALAA, a Palestinian "client." This was shot just outside Said's

prison cell, and Saad and Candy are standing side by side.

Candy: But him and me, we are already decisioning. That I will decision to not anymore demand a case to him.

(off-cam voice): paano mangyayari na hindi mo na siya kakasuhan.

Candy: That him and me, he will marry me.

Natawa na lang si Saad at dumeretso sa selda niya.

37. Eat Bulaga husband and wife compatability contest (a la New Married game)

Host: Misis, ano ang nilalagay ni Mister sa kanyang itlog tuwing umaga??

Misis: Johnson's Baby Powder!

38. Seen and Heard on Lunch Date...

Randy Santiago: I would like to thank Monakiki for my clothes. Sa Monakiki, may Mona ka na...

(Ruffa Guttierrez butts in) May Kiki ka pa!

(She realizes her blooper and gives the mike to somebody)

39. Alma Moreno wrapping up the conversation with guest Joey Albert in her now defunct show Rated A. Joey de Leon was the co-host.

Alma: So Joey, paki ulit muli yung concert mo sa University of Belt.

Joey de leon : Ness naman eh, kaya tayo pinagtatawanan eh, University Belt

40. Eto bloopers sa now defunct game show na GoBingo!

Question: Saan sinusuot ang basketball jersey?

Answer: Sa paa

Question: Anung Nationality ng sanggol na may amang Filipino Catholic at Protestanteng Ina?

Answer: American

Question: Ano ang ginagamit ng mga Eskimo sa halikan?

Answer: Dila

Question: Ilan ang paa ng pilay na pusa?

Answer: Tatlo

Question: Hindi ito boob, hindi ito tube, pero tinatawag ng iba na boob tube. Ano ito?

Answer: Bra

Question: Anong bukol ang makikita sa leeg ng mga lalaki

Answer: Kiss mark

Question: Ano sa Tagalog ang asul?

Answer: Blue

Question: May dalawang baboy sa kulungan. Tumalon ang isa. Ilan ang paa ng isang baboy?

Answer: Dalawa pa rin

Question: Sa anong bansa nakatira ang mga Hindu?

Answer: Hindunesia

Question: Ano ang isinusuot ng taong walang buhok?

Answer: Kalbo

Question: Ano ang kasunod ng kidlat?

Answer: Sunog

Question: Para saan ang anti-dandruff shampoo?

Answer: Kuto

Question: Kung manicure sa kamay, ano ang sa paa?

Answer: Kuko

Question: Ano ang nasa gitna ng donut? Answer: Palaman

=
=================================

MOVIES THEY WOULDN'T SHOW IN PINOY BLOCKBUSTER CHANNEL:

Umaga Na Nang Hinugot (Ang Kurdon Ng Plantsa)

Lulunin Mo Kung Mahal Mo Ako (Ang Lahat Ng Pasakit)

Lumandi Ka, Lola

Ang Tikoy Masarap

Ang Tikoy, Matigas Na

Kagatin Mo ang Biko

Ang Sumo'y Mabigat

Agiw Lang Ang Pagitan

Bata, Bata, Gawa Tayong Bata!

Mabuteng Kabute

Mabulunan Man Ako

---

People wonder why they get paid so much for just being on the phone. Take a look:

Tech Support: 'I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.'

Customer: ' Ok.'

Tech Support: 'Did you get a pop-up menu?'

Customer: 'No.'

Tech Support: 'Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?'

Customer: 'No.'

Tech Support: 'Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this

point?'

Customer: 'Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'.'



Customer: 'I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting

the same error message.'

Tech Support: 'Did you install the update?'

Customer: 'No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?'



Customer:: 'I'm having trouble installing Microsoft Word.'

Tech Support:: 'Tell me what you've done.'

Customer: 'I typed 'A:SETUP'.'

Tech Support:: 'Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me what it says.'

Customer:: 'It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk'.'

Tech Support:: 'Insert the MS Word setup disk.'

Customer:: 'What?'

Tech Support: 'Did you buy MS word?'

Customer: 'No...'



Customer:: 'Do I need a computer to use your software?'

Tech Support:: ?!%#$



Tech Support:: 'Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see

the 'OK' button displayed?'

Customer: 'Wow. How can you see my screen from there?'



Tech Support:: 'What type of computer do you have?'

Customer:: 'A white one.'



Tech Support: 'Is your computer on a separate telephone line?'

Customer: 'No.' (clicks the button to log on to our (service))

Tech Support:: 'Well then we can't-'

Customer:: 'It says 'no dial tone'.'

Tech Support: 'That's because you're on the line with me right now. You

need to- '

Customer:: 'No, that's not it. It does this all the time. I just have to

try a few times, and it will let me through.'

Tech Support:: 'No, ma'am. It's not even trying to dial right now because

you're on the phone with me.'



Tech Support: What's on your screen right now?

Customer: A stuffed animal that my boyfriend got me at the grocery

store.



Tech Support:: What operating system are you running?

Customer: Pentium.



Customer: My computer's telling me I performed an illegal abortion.



Customer: I have Microsoft Exploder.



Customer: How do I print my voicemail?



Customer: 'You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print a

document, but the computer won't boot properly.

Tech Support: What does it say?

Customer: Something about an error and non-system disk.

Tech Support: Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?

Customer: No, but there's a sticker saying there's an Intel inside.



Tech Support: Just call us back if there's a problem. We're open 24

hours.

Customer: Is that Eastern time?



Tech Support:: What does the screen say now?

Customer: It says, Hit ENTER when ready

Tech Support:: Well then... what's the problem?

Customer: How do I know when it's ready?



Tech Support:: Type A:\ at the prompt.

Customer:: How do you spell that?

Now you know.... Why they get paid high... for just being

on phone...

_______________________________________________________

hope this will make you laugh! :)

ENGLISH MOVIES YOU SHOULD NEVER

TRANSLATE TO TAGALOG

1. black hawk down - ibong maitim sa

ibaba

2. dead man's chest - dodo ng patay

3. i know what you did last summer -

uyy... aminin!

4. love, actually - sa totoo lang, pag-

ibig

5. million dollar baby - 50 million

pisong sanggol (it

depends on the

exchange rate of the country)

6. the blair witch project - ang

proyekto ng bruhang

si blair

7. mary poppins - si mariang may putok

8. snakes on a plane - nag-ahasan sa

ere

9. the postman always rings twice -

ang kartero kapag

dumutdot laging

dalawang beses

10. sum of all fears - takot mo, takot

ko, takot

nating lahat

11. swordfish - talakitok

12. pretty woman - ganda ng lola mo

13. robin hood, men in tights - si

robin hood at ang

mga felix bakat

14. four weddings and a funeral -

kahit 4 na beses ka

pang

magpakasal,

mamamatay

ka rin

15. the good, the bad and the ugly -

ako, ikaw, kayong

lahat

16. harry potter and the sorcerer's

stone - adik si

harry, tumira ng

shabu

17. click - isang pindot ka lang

18. brokeback mountain - may nawasak

sa likod ng

bundok ng tralala

/bumigay

sa bundok

19. the day of the dead - ayaw tumayo

(ng mga patay)

20. waterworld - basang-basa

21. there's something about mary - may

kwan sa ano ni

maria

22. employee of the month - ang sipsip

23. resident evil - ang biyenan

24. kill bill - kilitiin sa bilbil

25. the grudge - lintik lang ang

walang ganti

26. nightmare before christmas -

binangungot sa noche

buena

27. never been kissed - pangit kasi

28. gone in 60 seconds - 1 round, tulog

29. the fast and the furious - ang

bitin, galit

30. too fast, too furious - kapag

sobrang bitin,

sobrang galit

31. dude, where's my car - dong, anong

level ulit tayo

nag-park?

32. beauty and the beast - ang asawa

ko at ang nanay

nya

33. the lord of the rings - ang alahero

___________________________________________

People wonder why they get paid so much for just being on the phone. Take a look:

Tech Support: 'I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.'

Customer: ' Ok.'

Tech Support: 'Did you get a pop-up menu?'

Customer: 'No.'

Tech Support: 'Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?'

Customer: 'No.'

Tech Support: 'Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this

point?'

Customer: 'Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'.'



Customer: 'I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting

the same error message.'

Tech Support: 'Did you install the update?'

Customer: 'No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?'



Customer:: 'I'm having trouble installing Microsoft Word.'

Tech Support:: 'Tell me what you've done.'

Customer: 'I typed 'A:SETUP'.'

Tech Support:: 'Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me what it says.'

Customer:: 'It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk'.'

Tech Support:: 'Insert the MS Word setup disk.'

Customer:: 'What?'

Tech Support: 'Did you buy MS word?'

Customer: 'No...'



Customer:: 'Do I need a computer to use your software?'

Tech Support:: ?!%#$



Tech Support:: 'Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see

the 'OK' button displayed?'

Customer: 'Wow. How can you see my screen from there?'



Tech Support:: 'What type of computer do you have?'

Customer:: 'A white one.'



Tech Support: 'Is your computer on a separate telephone line?'

Customer: 'No.' (clicks the button to log on to our (service))

Tech Support:: 'Well then we can't-'

Customer:: 'It says 'no dial tone'.'

Tech Support: 'That's because you're on the line with me right now. You

need to- '

Customer:: 'No, that's not it. It does this all the time. I just have to

try a few times, and it will let me through.'

Tech Support:: 'No, ma'am. It's not even trying to dial right now because

you're on the phone with me.'



Tech Support: What's on your screen right now?

Customer: A stuffed animal that my boyfriend got me at the grocery

store.



Tech Support:: What operating system are you running?

Customer: Pentium.



Customer: My computer's telling me I performed an illegal abortion.



Customer: I have Microsoft Exploder.



Customer: How do I print my voicemail?



Customer: 'You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print a

document, but the computer won't boot properly.

Tech Support: What does it say?

Customer: Something about an error and non-system disk.

Tech Support: Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?

Customer: No, but there's a sticker saying there's an Intel inside.



Tech Support: Just call us back if there's a problem. We're open 24

hours.

Customer: Is that Eastern time?



Tech Support:: What does the screen say now?

Customer: It says, Hit ENTER when ready

Tech Support:: Well then... what's the problem?

Customer: How do I know when it's ready?



Tech Support:: Type A:\ at the prompt.

Customer:: How do you spell that?

Now you know.... Why they get paid high... for just being

on phone...

____________________________________________________________

ANO ANG DAPAT GAWIN KUNG TINATAMAD KANG MAGTRABAHO ?

Sa buhay empleyado merong dalawang pagpipilian kung tinatamad kang magtrabaho.

A. Una ay umabsent.

1. Kapag umiikot na kaagad sa katawan mo ang katamaran pagkagising pa lang sa umaga ay mag-isip ka na kaagad ng palusot kung bakit ka aabsent. Paalala: dapat ay memoryado mo ang mga dahilang nagamit mo na dati (tip: gumawa ng isang logbook) ng sa gayon ay hindi ka parang sirang plakang nag-uulit lang lagi ng rason ng di pagpasok. Alalahanin na tuso din ang mga bossing.

2. Kapag nakaisip ka na ng magandang dahilan ay agad mag-text o tumawag sa bossing mo, the earlier the better. Kung ayaw mo ng madaming tanong e mag-text ka at kung nais mo namang tumawag ay siguraduhin mong magaling kang umarte kagaya ng kung ikaw ay kunwaring me sakit ay umubo ka ng paunti-unti habang kinakausap ang bossing mo.

3. Matapos mag-text/tumawag ay bumalik sa higaan at magplano ka na ng gusto mong gawin sa buong araw. Malaking posibilidad na magtutulog ka lang buong araw. Sya nga pala, kapag tumawag ang opisina sa kalagitnaan ng araw, laging tandaan ang rasong ginamit (consistent ka dapat), maaari namang i-off mo na lang ang phone mo para hindi ka maistorbo buong araw.

BABALA: Siguraduhing regular ka na sa kumpanyang pinagtratrabahuhan kung ikaw ay mag-aabsent.

B. Pangalawa ay pumasok

Eto ang dapat gawin ng mga empleyado kapag tinatamad magtrabaho pero ayaw umabsent. Ang mga taong ito ay nuknukan ng kapal ng mukha. Ang mga sumusunod na instructions ay napakasimple pero effective. Meron ding oras na nakatakda, magsisismula ng alas ocho ng umaga at magtatapos ng alas singko ng hapon.

1. Pumasok ng sakto sa oras. Huwag kang male-late at huwag ka din namang excited masyado. 8:00

2. Pagdating mo sa opisina ay ilapag mo lang kaagad ang gamit mo sa lamesa at magtungo kaagad sa pantry. Magtimpla ng kape o kung anuman ang iniinom mo pag umaga. Habang nasa loob ay makipag-usap sa mga tao doon, patagalin mo ang usapan (tip: pag-usapan ang mga headline ngayong araw o mga nangyari kahapon sa loob ng opisina). Kung walang tao sa pantry ay mag-yaya ka ng kasama bago pa man pumasok doon. 8:00-8:30

3. Matapos sa pantry ay magtungo na sa lamesa mo dala-dala pa din ang kape, ito ay para hindi ka antukin buong araw. Buksan ang computer. Matapos nito ay buksan ang mailbox mo. Basahin ang mga email…mapabago man o luma. Buksan lahat ng pedeng buksang attachments, makakabuti ito sa pagpapatagal ng oras. O kaya naman ay mag-email ka sa mga kakilala mong matagal mo ng di nakakamusta. Kapag di ka pa nakuntento ay gawing chat ang email (ito ay sa kadahilanang banned na ang halos lahat ng messengers sa mga kompanya…pati google talk di pinalagpas, mga hayop na IT yan). Pano? Mag-email ka sa kakilala mong alam mong merong access sa internet sa mga oras na yon tapos antayin ang reply…wholla! Instant chat session. Sya nga pala, habang ginagawa ang mga nasa taas ay huwag makakalimot inumin ang kape..lalamig ito. 8:30-9:30

3. Matapos ang makabuluhag paggamit ng computer ay magdala ng mga papel-papel at magtungo sa kung saan mo man nais. Mas maganda kung mukha kang aborido hawak ang mga props mo habang papaalis ng lamesa, ito ay para sabihin ng bossing mo sampu ng kasamahan mo sa trabaho na busy ka lagi. Magtungo sa ibang department na me kakilala at makipag-usap ng kung anu-ano. 9:30-10:00

4. Tignan mo nga naman. Alas dies na! Break time na ulit! Pagkatapos mag-lamyerda sa ibang department ay magtungo ulit sa puwesto at ibaba ang mga scratch paper na props. Dalhin ang tasa sa pantry at magtimpla ulit ng panibagong kape, libre ang kape kaya magtimpla ka lang ng magtimpla. Magtungo sa labas kung ikaw ay nag-yoyosi kung di naman ay manatili sa pantry at makipag-usap ka na lang sa mga tao doon. 10:00-10:15

5. Pagkatapos ng break ay bumalik sa lamesa at humarap sa computer (huwag ng magdala ng kape sa lamesa…tama na ang nainom mo, sisikmurain ka na sa sobrang gahaman). Tapos ka na sa mga emails mo, ngayon naman ay mag-internet ka na lang ng kung anik-anik. Pero bago mag-internet ay magbukas ka muna ng office document kahit wala kang balak gawin ang mga ito, makakatulong ang documentong ito mamya. Tapos ay mag-internet ka na. Paalala: dapat ay alerto ka sa mga tao sa paligid mo, kapag alam mong me padating pindutin ang ALT at TAB ng sabay. Ito ay para makapunta sa office document na binuksan mo kanina. Kung mabagal ang iyong reflexes ay dapat mabilis ka sa paggamit ng mouse para ma-click mo agad sa taskbar ung documentong nasabi. Kapag na-master mo na ang technique na ito ay di na mapapansin ng bossing mo na nag-iinternet ka lang sa mga oras na ito. 10:15-12:00

6. Tama na muna ang computer. Lunch break na! Alam mo na ang dapat gawin. 12:00-1:00

7. Pagkatapos kumain ay gawin ulit ang #5. Habang gingawa ito ay maglabas ulit ng mga scratch papers na para bang me hinahanap. Tandaan na dapat seryoso ang mukha mo habang gingawa ang mga ito (tip: ikunot ang noo para makakuha ng mukhang seryoso). 1:00-3:00

8. Break time na ulit. Ang bilis nga naman ng oras. Hala..punta na ulit sa pantry. Maaari ka na ulit mag-kape at makipag-chikahan. 3:00-3:15

9. Bumalik sa lamesa at guluhin ito sa pamamagitan ng paglabas ng sandamakmak na mga papel. Tapos ay gawin ulit and #5. Tignan ang oras sa computer mo. Kung 4:30 na ay simulan mo ng ayusin ang ginulong lamesa. Mag-ayos ayos ka na din ng sarili. Kung kasing kapal ng adobe ang mukha mo ay magtungo ka ulit sa pantry para mag-kape (tandaan na dapat me kasama sa pantry) o kaya naman ay gawin ang #3. Matapos ang lahat ng ito ay umuwi ka na, para mo ng awa…wala ka na ngang silbi ay nangdadamay ka pa ng iba sa katamaran mo. 3:15-5:00

BABALA: Wag mong ipapabasa ito sa bossing mo kung ayaw mong mawalan ka ng trabaho.

________________________________________________________________________

The Top Ten Ways To Complete The Sentence, "Ano, Gusto Mo Anuhin Ko Yang Ano Mo?"

1. Mnemonic/Mike’s Bloggerhappy - "Ano, gusto mo palamanan ko yang monay mo?"

2. Shining - "Ano, gusto mo galitin ko yang alaga mo?"

3. Mimi - "Ano, gusto mo galawin ko yang myspace mo?"

4. SPY Shadow - "Ano, gusto mo papakin ko yang sushi mo?"

5. Oinkreptile - "Ano, gusto mo babuyin ko yang baboy mo?"

6. LOipogi - "Ano, gusto mo kurutin ko yang kutchinta mo?"

7. Awsom/Jedi Mster - "Ano, gusto mo amuyin ko yang mani mo?"

8. Margarito/Oinkreptile - "Ano, gusto mo himasin ko yang pussy cat mo?"

9. Joeshred/Carlomagno - "Ano, gusto mo salatin ko yang peklat mo?"

10. Filthy Rich Beggar/Vi - "Ano, gusto mong araruhin ko yang bukid mo?"

11. LOipogi - "Ano, gusto mo biyakin ko yang buko mo?"

12. Awsom/Ate Germs - "Ano, gusto mo himayin ko yang tilapia mo?"

13. Racer- "Ano, gusto mo tirahin ko yang pinya mo?"

14. Jose de Vengenge - "Ano, gusto mo hugasan ko yang pechay mo?"

15. Vi - "Ano, gusto mo patungan ko ng itlog yang hotdog mo?"

16. Joeshred/Cheyenne - "Ano, gusto mo kamayin ko yang bulalo mo?"

17. YñaKì - "Ano, gusto mo kamutin ko yang kati mo?"

18. Menthol - "Ano pare, gusto mo punasan ko yang dibdib mo?"

19. Frederique/Joel Paul - "Ano, gusto mo sisirin ko yang hito mo?"

20. Espeks - "Ano, gusto mo buksan ko yang tahong mo?"

21. St. J - "Ano, gusto mo foot spa-hin ko yang mukha mo?"

22. SPY Shadow - "Ano, gusto mo soundcheck-in ko yang mikropono mo?"

23. Sugalero - "Ano, gusto mo i-moderate ko yang greed mo?"

24. Espeks - "Ano, gusto mo chukchakin ko yang chenes mo?"

25. Jedi Mstr/Kid Bukid/iboi - "Ano, gusto mo hipan ko yang bird mo?"

26. Jose de Vengenge - "Ano, gusto mo kalkalin ko yang kweba mo?"

27. Frederique - "Ano, gusto mo pulbusan ko yang pecs mo?"

28. Joeshred - "Ano, gusto mo silindruhin ko yang manga mo?"

29. Frederique - "Ano, gusto mo upuan ko yang mighty meaty mo?"

30. Chammy/Tuna Belly/Empog -"Ano, gusto mo lawayan ko yang bibingka mo?"

31. Council/Hatchi’s bf/Sugarrush - "Ano, gusto mo papulahin ko yang itlog mo?"

32. NurseJP - "Ano, gusto mo i-blow ko yang trumpet mo?"

33. SPY Shadow - "Ano pare, gusto mo brokeback-in ko yang mountain mo?"

34. Chammy - "Ano, gusto mo itlugan ko yang pugad mo?"

__________________________________________________________________

Maybe. . we were supposed to meet the wrong people before meeting the right one so that, when we finally meet the right person, we will know how to be grateful for that gift.

Maybe. . when the door of happiness closes, another opens; but, often times, we look so long at the closed door that we don't even see the new one which has been opened for us.

Maybe. . it is true that we don't know what we have until we lose it, but it is also true that we don't know what we have been missing until it arrives.

Maybe. .. the happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.

Maybe. . the brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; after all, you can't go on successfully in life until you let go of your past mistakes, failures, and heartaches.

Maybe. . there are moments in life when you miss someone -- a parent, a friend, a child, your husband/wife -- -- so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real, so that once they are around you appreciate them more.

Maybe. . the best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch and swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had.

Maybe. . you should always try to put yourself in others' shoes. If you feel that something could hurt you, it probably will hurt the other person,too.

Maybe. . giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they will love you back. Don't expect love in return; just wait for it to grow in their heart; but if it doesn't, be content that it grew in yours.

Maybe. . happiness waits for all those who cry, all those who hurt, all those who have searched, and all those who have tried, for only they can appreciate the importance of all the people who have touched their lives.

Maybe. . you shouldn't go for looks; they can deceive; don't go for wealth; even that fades away. Go for someone with sense of humor, someone who makes you smile, because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright. Find the one who makes your heart smile.

Maybe. . you should hope for enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, and enough hope to make you happy.

Maybe. . you should try to live your life as the best you can because when you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling, but when you die, you can be the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.

Maybe. . you could give this message to those people who mean something to you, to those who have touched your life, to those who can and do make you smile when you really need it, to those who make you see the brighter side of things when you are really down, and to all those whom you want to know that you appreciate them and their friendship

____________________________________________________________________