Jonathan M. Sweet

Jonathan M. Sweet, born September 13, 1975, in Chicago, is an American horror author. He credits as his influences Stephen King, Gelett Burgess, and Roger Hargreaves, as well as The Three Stooges, Tex Avery, He-Man, and the Whammy. His acerbic and often darkly comedic writing has been likened to that of Robert Bloch and Joe Lansdale.

His screen name comes from a Pinky and the Brain short, "Puppet Rulers", in which Brain, posing as a kiddie-show host, called himself, "The Iconoclast, an unconventional eccentric who marches to the beat of a different drummer".

The College Years == == A graduate of Arkansas State University, he was a psychology and English major, a member of the honor society Pi Gamma Mu, and a staffer for The Herald. On February 5, 1997, he was accused by a copy editor for allegedly stealing column material for a piece he wrote on the TV ratings system, and summarily was terminated from his position. Sweet has never forgiven his old bosses, whom he has lambasted viciously in his novels, stories, comics, and blog. 

Post-College== == Sweet currently lives in the Missouri Bootheel with his family, the pastoral Southern setting which inspires his work. Many of his stories are rooted in his experiences as a columnist and a college student, his personal relationships, and his psych studies, with an emphasis on severely disturbed characters. A theme his fiction frequently visits is the loss of a parent. This is not surprising, as his father died of a heart attack on December 17, 1997. Sweet's girlfriend Ashleigh Bainks dropped out of his life a few weeks later after he told her about his dad's death, owing to him unwittingly offending her Catholic beliefs about death. She came back to him, but their reconciliation was short-lived, and ultimately she left for good. This breakup was responsible for instilling in him much anger and a massive sense of guilt. He wrote a fictionalized account of it in "Smitten With Her" in 1999, and has stated in a 2004 interview that losing her "made me feel like less of a man". Several of Sweet's pieces express strong anti-Catholic and anti-rich sentiment, since Ashleigh was a member of both groups; many of his critics consider this a major flaw in his otherwise sparkling and well-written prose. Other short stories--"Eve Bade Adam Eat", "The Kestron Lenses"--are set at college publications unapologetically based on The Herald.

The Works
Many short stories have appeared over the years, often self-published by the author or in online magazines. Clark College was mentioned or was the main setting in two other pieces: a novel called Postcards of the Hanging, and Virago, another commercial failure first released by the author as an e-book, then as a free download at his website. '''CAUTION: This section may contain spoilers. Do not progress lest you have read the stories or can handle major disenchantment.'''

Almasheol (2002)
Sweet put out a collection of fiction in 2003 which was made up of commercial failures, calling it Almasheol. It includes the stories "Beautiful Dreamer", "Eve Bade Adam Eat", "Good Friday 1865", and his bitter and unapologetically Catholic-bashing "Smitten With Her", which was written during the same period as most of the selections. Another story called "I Have Heard the Mermaids Singing Each to Each", about a man who goes crazy after having a radioactive isotope implanted in his ear to treat his partial deafness, was included in an early draft, but cut for length. It is now considered a "lost" story, as the original was lost in a computer crash and no known copies exist. Also in the book are a poem, "In Fame, Me" and a new story written just for the anthology, "Dark Hunger".

Beautiful Dreamer
Sweet's first commercial effort was "Beautiful Dreamer", written in summer 1999. The story is about a successful Atlanta advertising executive named Albert Watson (inspired by the names of the psychologist and the patient in the famous Little Albert experiment). Watson credits his success to his very vivid dreams--he bases his commercials on what he sees. After losing his job over plagiarism charges, he murders his boss and several members of a rival firm, but does not remember doing so. He is later diagnosed with disassociative fugue; however, he is ruled to be fully in control of himself, is found guilty, and sentenced to prison. It is often hard to separate Sweet from his characters, and this story perfectly illustrates this. Watson's writing method is very much like Sweet's; he is an avowed Freudian who has credited his inspiration to dreams. The story was obviously a thinly-disguised telling of his own life story; Sweet even employed two actual nightmares of his (the Pepsi-drinking Josef Stalin that opens the story, and one of being trapped in the back of a moving car). It symbolically describes his problems with The Herald through the screen of a hapless protagonist persecuted for a crime that isn't his fault and a series of villains who are cardboard caricatures of certain people in power at ASU.

Eve Bade Adam Eat
The following year Sweet wrote "Eve Bade Adam Eat", which was the first of several stories set in a fictitious school in Clark, Missouri. Scottsborough, a successful lawyer in Buford, Missouri, meets a beautiful woman named Kimberly Mann, with whom he falls in love with and asks to move in with him. However, the details of her past are shadowy and full of worrisome inconsistencies. Through a series of flashback sequences we learn the story of a writer named Henry Church, fired for false plagiarism charges from a campus magazine, who harbors a deep grudge against copy editor Philip Scottsborough (modeled after the man who got Sweet fired). After some incriminating photos of a fellow lawyer running for a state government position turn up on his desk, Phil turns them in and, running on the swell of the scandal, runs for the seat himself. It turns out, though, that the photos are faked, and that Kimberly is really Henry, following a brain transplant in France. Thirty years before Phil had filed charges against Church after a story he had submitted was similar to the plot of a television show which involved time travel and the predestination and grandfather paradoxes. Henry blames Phil for ruining his life nearly thirty years ago and has been waiting for his chance to get revenge. Again, this very disturbing story is extremely close to Sweet's own. It also recalls--both the main narrative and the story-within-the-story--Harlan Ellison's famous dispute against James Cameron over his Terminator screenplay (which was settled fairly amicably out of court, not ruining Cameron's life or reputation at all).

Virago
"Virago" ,written around Y2K, is the story of Jason Powell and Pamela Traff, two private detectives in the town of Clark who are investigating a series of strange deaths in the fictional Roosevelt, Missouri. Several women have died of mysterious power surges in their homes, and have been sent taunting messages on their computers by a person calling himself "Nemesis". Powell believes it is a revenge scheme, but other than their sex, the same last name and the m.o., they have nothing in common. This story is set a few years after the events of "Eve"; a campus police officer reveals he was one of the cops who discovered Phil Scottsborough's body.

The Kestron Lenses
"The Kestron Lenses", another story that drew inspiration from Sweet's newspaper days, dealt with a writer at a fictitious college newspaper in Biloxi, Missouri who, due to his poor eyesight, requires glasses. Xavier Harold Stafford (the name is a pun on "ex-Herald staffer", a reference to the author himself) purchases a cheap pair from a man who sells them out of his garage on the mainland. However, the glass in them is possessed by ancient Chinese demons, and they grant the ability to see the future...provided the glass is annointed with a victim's blood. Every time Harry murders someone, the blood shows him a story, and he writes it and turns it in. Pretty soon he loses control...and to make it worse, Shadrach Hutch, the Champagne Island Dispatch's copy editor, has traced the killings to him and is blackmailing Stafford for a piece of his newfound success. The story seems to be a caution about the perils of overambition and a parable about the journalist's willingness to do whatever it takes to get ahead, even murder. It is also notable that the copy editor is the only staffer cast in a negative light whose illicit behavior is not caused or assisted by supernatural objects; it isn't uncommon for the person holding this post, in Sweet's stories, to be drawn as immoral, conniving or insane. It was written around 2001. Interestingly, one of the stories in Belch Dimension Comics, "Family Ties" (#24), was also set at Fulkes University, suggesting a tenebrous connection between Sweet's "literary" and "comic" worlds. Also, the villain in the piece, Rasputin, first appeared in "Beautiful Dreamer", and Watson is sent to the same prison where Malice Jiggs, a criminal who was sent to the electric chair, was executed in BDC #29.

Postcards of the Hanging (2003)
Postcards of the Hanging--which takes its name from the first line in Bob Dylan's "Desolation Rowð", one of the author's favorite songs--is the story of a teenage girl in the small town of Lemora, Missouri, and takes place mainly during the last autumn before she leaves home to attend school. Following a fight with her mom and storming out of the house, Jessy Gorving meets up with a boy from the nearby town of Canaan, 12-year-old Peter Knowles. The book deals with the two's growing but brief friendship admidst the turbulent background of the late eighties, encompassing a supernatural journey of self-discovery and the Vonnegutian device of non-linear chronology, or "time-skipping" to show periods later in the childrens' life; with them successful--him an author, she a school counselor-- and both in happy relationships.

Tiresias (2007)
Tiresias is a stark novel about a disturbed stalker who shows up at a home outside Alamo, Tennessee armed with a pistol. Antonio Mitcheson demands to see a young woman named Delilah Charles, whom he has been calling and writing letters to for months. When Samuel Perkins tells him again that he has no daughter, Mitcheson shoots both him and his son Hamilton, an off-duty cop, then flees. Sam's surviving son uses Antonio's own letters to Delilah to try and track her down... but doing so dredges up a lot of his own painful memories and puts him through a period of mind-bending stress. Of the book Sweet says,

"Yeah, a lot of people are going to see similarities between this and 'Virago'--a nut, a gun, and a girl. I mean, yeah, they're similar, they come from the same place, but, really, they're very different. 'Virago' is just naked rage screaming off the paper. Tiresias is more mature, polished, almost lyrical in the way it's set out. Yet it's dirty, it's nasty, it's violent, it's repugnant, it's cheap, and it's satisfying. It doesn't just close the door on a relationship, it slams the bugger hard enough to rattle the jamb, crack the plaster, and knock a couple of knickknacks off the whatnot shelf." The book was published in September 2007 by indie publisher Ramble House--almost exactly four years after Postcards, its predecesor, though the two were written nearly back-to-back.

Poetry
Sweet's poem "When-One-and-Twenty (The Ballad of Aggie H.)" appeared in the Famous Poets On the Wings of Pegasus collection in 2002. The piece, dedicated to the copy editor who accused him of plagiarizing his TV ratings column, is an allegorical take on the incident and its aftermath. The Latin motto nemo me impune lacessit (no one hurts me without consequence) follows as a cryptic warning to this and all future enemies. So far this is the only poem Sweet has published as a stand-alone work. A second poem, "In Fame, Me", appears in Almasheol.

What Next, Sir?== == Sweet told an interviewer shortly after Postcards was released that he was currently hard at work on a new novel. According to Sweet, the book will be set at Clark College and will deal with the trevails of a female journalist who works for The Explorer, their campus paper. He gives the working draft title as "A Breath Like Mustard Gas and Roses" and admits the piece is largely semiautobiographical. No date of completion or release has been announced.

The Belch Dimension Comics == == The Belch Dimension is a web-distributed comic book that Sweet has been writing and drawing since high school, though it has only been actively distributed since April 2005. The series stars an eponymously-named hero, Jonathan Sweet, who wears a bright yellow cape, thick red-framed glasses, and a yellow baseball cap decorated with brightly-colored buttons. The superhero roster frequently rotates from mission to mission, though it almost always includes some combination of Jon, Josh, Ben and/or Angela at its core. . Major storylines in BDC focus on the continuing battle against evil. Other stories--often either issue filler or a group of several shorts linked together by a theme--involve a focus on a humorous sitution in Jon's domestic life (such as getting an after-school job or learning to drive), or may feature a minor character such as Jon's dog Buddy, or one of the whacky Jigaboo Junction townsfolk. The following is a list of Belch Dimension titles and date of release. *#3 A Fair Fight (Jun 10, 2005)
 * #1 Hiss Hole Comes to Town (Apr 15, 2005)*#2 Elementary School, My Dear Potson/Truth...Or Else! (May 13, 2005)
 * #4 Small Medium At Large/The Raving/Driving Miss Crazy (Jul 8, 2005)
 * #5 High-Sea Hijinks (Aug 12, 2005)
 * #6 To The Letter/Soup to Mutts/Persian Goof (Sep 9, 2005)
 * #7 Paleozoic Error/Chinese Fortune Kooky/Un-Civil Warriors (Oct 31, 2005)
 * #8 All's Farrakhanine in Love and War/Canine Calamity/A Little Re-read Riding Hood (Dec 2, 2005)
 * #9 A Girl and Her Chair (Dec 31, 2005)

*#19 The Foul Stench of Doom!/Demi-Jon (Oct 30, 2006)*#20 Keyed Up/All That Jazz/Inferior Decorators (Dec 1, 2006)*#21 Once Upon a Time Warp (Dec 29, 2007)
 * #10 Standup and Deliver/Football Follies/The I.P. Freely Inhumane Society (Jan 27, 2006)*#11 Who Decapitated Codger Carbuncle?/Home Alien (Feb 24, 2006)*#12 Dog Training/Whacky Dracky/Gort's Guide to Managerial Economics (Mar 24, 2006)
 * #13 Soul Feud (Apr 28, 2006)
 * #14 Nutzi Nazis/Ear-Phonies (May 26, 2006)
 * #15 Carnival Knowledge (Aug 18, 2006)
 * #16 Misdventures in Baby-Sitting/ Guidance System (Sep 5, 2006)
 * #17 Plant Feud/A Walk on the Wildlife Side (Sep 27, 2006)
 * #18 Lightning Strikes (Terror In) Me Again/Home Alien 2/Scaredy Cat (Oct 18, 2006)
 * #22 What a Drag!/Desperate Housecats(Jan 26, 2007)
 * #23 Family Ties (Feb 23, 2007)
 * #24 Missed Manners/Family Ties, part 2 (Mar 23, 2007)
 * #25 SweetTart (Apr 30, 2007)*#26 SweetTart, part 2/The Belch Dimension's Stupidest Home Videos (May 28, 2007)
 * #27 Stoopid!/SweetTart, part 3 (Jun 22, 2007)
 * #28 Up in the Air/Par For the Coarse/K-9 C.R.U.D. (Jul 20, 2007)
 * #29 Jiggawatt/Spring Forward, Fall Back (Aug 24, 2007)
 * #30 Hecklin' Jekyll/CENSORED!/Spastic Explosive (Sep 21, 2007)
 * #31 Lil' Romeoh-no/Gort's Guide to Getting a Good Night's Sleep (Oct 30, 2007)
 * #32 Botany/The Superhero Roundtable/Junk Bonds (Nov 28, 2007)

On July 14, 2006 Sweet's comic book was featured as the "Awful Link of the Day" at somethingawful.com.
 * #33 Dizzy Doctors (Dec 21, 2007)
 * #34 Hair-um Scarum/Vexed Vets/Gross-ery Shopping (Jan 30, 2008)
 * #35 Fishy Business (Feb 22, 2008)
 * #36 It's a Cat's Life/Down Under Blunder/Bully for Billy (Mar 21, 2008)
 * #37 The Nefarious Four (Apr 29, 2008)
 * #38 Booting Out Bobcat/The Unsung Zero (May 23, 2008)
 * #39 Double Trouble/A Comedy of Terriers (Jun 27, 2008)
 * #40 Home Ecch!/Ketchum's Couch Trip/A Rash Decision (Jul 25, 2008)
 * #41 Son of the Return of the Serpent II/The Making of "Son of the Return of the Serpent II" (Aug 29, 2008)
 * #42 Hate Thy Neighbor/The Eyes Have It! (Sep 30, 2008)
 * #43 Squared Circle Jerks/Gort's Guide to Running for Office/The Crazy Cassowary Caper! (Oct 31, 2008)
 * #44 Tiger in His Tank/The Ransom of Red Chimp/Scenes You Weren't Supposed to See (Nov 28, 2008)
 * #45 Up the Demi-Jon Staircase/Breast Implants Through the Ages (Dec 30, 2008)
 * #46 Jigaboo Junction Squares/Er.../Cat Scratch Fever (Feb 7, 2009)
 * #47 Up the Demi-Jon Staircase, part 2/Naphtali Nonsense (Mar 3, 2009)
 * #48 House Cleaning Blues/Schtick Shift (Mar 27, 2009)
 * #49 Oh, Changing Language/Up the Demi-Jon Staircase, part 3 (Apr 30, 2009)
 * #50 The Case of the Shanghaied Streetwalkers (May 31, 2009)
 * #51 Feminazi/Dusty Rhodes' Wild Side (Jun 30, 2009)
 * #52 Desolation Row/Dognet/ The Nudie Bar (Aug 15, 2009)
 * #53 Stuporboy/Feminazi, part 2 (Aug 31, 2009)
 * #54 Uniform Inconsistency/Kitty-Cat Cassanova/Violence of the Doll's/7 Pages of Bad Luck (Oct 8, 2009)
 * #55 The Case of the Beagle Burglaries/New and Revised Rules for the Open Road/ Bungee Bungle (Nov 8, 2009)
 * #56 Riled Riled West/Silent Partner/Ticks-for-Treats (Nov 30, 2009)
 * #57 Mississippi Burping (Dec 30, 2009)
 * #58 Drive-In Me Wild/Romeo and Juliet (Jan 29, 2010)
 * #59 The Case of The Wicked Wax Museum (a.k.a. "Oh-Shit Eleven") (Mar 5, 2010)
 * #60 The Fool Monty/The Case of The Wicked Wax Museum, part II/Aches and Paintings (Apr 30, 2010)
 * #61 The Case of The Wicked Wax Museum, part III (May 21, 2010)
 * #62 A Close Shave/Buddy's Nightmares/Pool Tabled (Jun 25, 2010)
 * #63 The Turd Man (Aug 6, 2010)
 * #64 Attack of the 5 1/2-Foot Animal Rights Whacko/Wee-Wee Monsieur/Timmy's Good Deed (Sep 13, 2010)
 * #65 Bloopers and Impractical Jokes|Freely's Flim-Flam Film Scam (Oct 15, 2010)
 * #66 The Challenge|Wild Thing (Oct 29, 2010)
 * #67 A Flip of the Coin/Don't Beat the Yellow Snow, Man! (Dec 7, 2010)
 * #68 Drift of the Magi/ An Ice-Cold Bud/ Ice, Ice, Baby (Jan 7, 2010)
 * #69 Belch Blanket Bingo/A Flip of the Coin, part II (Feb 4, 2011)
 * #70 The Trio of Trouble Meets Felatio (Feb 25, 2011)
 * #71 Zapped! (March 26, 2011)

"'Belch Dimension Comics is a line of amateur comic books with art so terrible that you will probably feel that shrinking chill of sympathetic embarrassment before the image I picked finishes loading'."

(It's worthy to note the site incorrectly lists his school as Arizona State University.)

Of this honor Sweet said, "What can I say? It's like the Razzies, but for comics. I now join such estimable worthies as Bill Cosby's Leonard Part 6, Tom Green's Freddy Got Fingered, and the guy who turned sweet innocent Jessie from Saved by the Bell into a total muff-diver in Showgirls. I have arrived. I am truly indispensible."

Sweet also called the author of the article "your typical liberal moron who talks out of both sides of his mouth and basically says 'Well, I sort of liked this guy until I figured out a way to stuff him into my Party-approved, pre-pressed leftist template for a conservative, and then that made it okay for me to hate him.' "

Images from the covers of #8, #10, and #14 were used in the article ("without my permission", the artist notes).

Bibliography == ==
 * 2002 Almasheol (anthology) (ISBN 1401078206)
 * 2003 Postcards of the Hanging (ISBN 1413436218)
 * 2004 "The Kestron Lenses", Bewildering Stories, #111-116 (serialized)
 * 2004 North County Road 857 (free for download at official site)
 * 2005 "The Second Mrs. Pecker", Ascent Magazine, Vol. 9, No 1, Feb
 * 2005 Virago (free for download at official site)
 * 2005 "Dog's Breakfast", Amateur Writerz, posted May 10
 * 2005 La Corneta del Juicio (free for download at official site)
 * 2007 Tiresias (Ramble House)
 * 2008 Window, (Amazon Kindle)

Quotes == ==
 * I believe the key to good writing lies in suffering...The Sweetian hero is a man who is up against it all, who has lost everything he's cared about through no fault of his own. He's reduced to an animal fighting for scraps--for some tiny measure of what he had before. He's told he's a fool for fighting when he knows in his heart he'd be a fool not to." --from Almasheol (Author's Foreword) 
 * ...[A]nyone who tells me "I have a liberal friend" really means: "I know a liberal who hasn't betrayed me yet." --a quote from Sweet's personal website
 * [A hammer is]...just a hunk of dumb wood and iron. In the hands of Bob Villa, it's a thing of beauty. Used by a maniac who likes to ritually bop open the heads of beautiful women, it's a murder weapon. -- a metaphor on writing, from an interview with Roselyne Gerazime, Sep 13, 2004
 * Money equals power, and power equals happiness. This is how the world works. --from a Stephen King message board
 * I'd tell you what I think of [any given issue/individual the author disagrees with/dislikes], but I don't have to fart right now.
 * In this life, if someone hurts you, I find it wise to hurt them back ten times over. "Eye for an eye" and "tooth for a tooth" just evens the score and gives them 32 more cracks at you. Crush someone hard enough the first time, and they aren't getting back up.
 * I have three rules about liberals: if they want it, it's bad; if they believe it, it's a lie, and they are not human beings.
 * ...[L]iberals don't have anything new to offer. They haven't seriously updated their playbook in over thirty years. It's worn-out, tattered, stained, and has the name "NIXON" crossed out and "DUBYA" written over it in crayon...It takes something beautiful and then chokes it and twists it and turns it to something hideous. Liberals may be smiling and personable, but they simply cannot be trusted. They are disgusting, soulless creatures with no integrity, no moral compass. Betrayal pounds in their substandard brains like a heartbeat. All they have to offer is a diseased gospel Karl Marx penned a hundred years ago, which was failed and outdated even then...and which was then spread by its prophets Lenin, Trotsky, and Stalin, who dipped the Party Bible in blood. Its emphasis on the culture of victimhood, dependancy, and entitlement programs keeps us down. It survives by killing any sort of desire for self-improvement in people. --excerpt from the AJM Studios interview,Jun 2007

External links == ==
 * The Smoking Cat Productions website, the nerve center of Sweet's campaign to rebuild his shattered life
 * Sweet's tv.com blog