Old Iron (RS Mr. Conductor and Friends episode)

Old Iron is the fifth episode of the second season of RS Mr. Conductor the Conductor and Friends, and the thirty-first episode overall. It is a parody of the Thomas and Friends episode of the same name.

Cast

 * RS Mr. Conductor (from Shining Time Station) as Thomas
 * Edd (from Ed, Edd n Eddy) as Edward
 * Schemer (from Shining Time Station) as James
 * Bart (from The Simpsons) as Percy
 * Mayor Adam West (from Family Guy) as Sir Topham Hatt
 * Homer (from The Simpsons) as Henry (cameo)
 * Garfield (from Garfield and Friends) as Gordon (cameo)
 * Phil (from Rugrats) as Stephen Hatt (cameo)
 * Mrs. Twombly (from Littlest Pet Shop (2012)) as Mrs. Kyndley (cameo)
 * Everyone else as Themselves

Transcript
Narrator: "One day, Schemer had to wait at the station till Edd and his flowers came in. This made him cross."

Schemer: "Late again!"

Narrator: "Edd laughed, and Schemer fumed away.

After Schemer had finished his work, he went back to the yard and puffed onto the turntable. He was still feeling very bad tempered."

Schemer: "Edd is impossible."

Narrator: "He grumbled to the others."

Schemer: "He clanks about like a lot of old iron, and he is so slow he makes us wait!"

Narrator: "RS Mr. Conductor and Bart were indignant."

Bart: "Old iron? Slow?"

RS Mr. Conductor: "Why, Edd could beat you in a race any day!"

Schemer: "Really?"

Narrator: "Said Schemer."

Schemer: "I should like to see him do it!"

Narrator: "Next morning, Schemer's driver was suddenly taken ill. He could hardly stand, so the fireman unhooked Schemer ready for shunting. Schemer was impatient."

Suddenly, the signalman shouted. There was Schemer running away down the road."

Signalman: "All traffic halted!"

Narrator: "He announced at last. Then he told the fireman what had happened."

Signalman: "Two boys were standing nearby Schemer fiddling with him."

Schemer's Fireman: "Phew!"

Signalman: "They ran off when Schemer started."

(Phone rings)

Narrator: "The signalman answered the telephone."

Signalman: "Yes. He's here. Right. I'll tell him.

The inspector's coming at once. He wants a shunter's pole and a coil of wire rope."

Schemer's Fireman: "What for?"

Narrator: "Wondered the fireman."

Signalman: "Search me! But you'd better get them quickly."

Narrator: "The fireman was ready when Edd arrived. The inspector saw the pole and the rope."

Inspector: "Good man. Jump on."

Edd: "We'll catch him, we'll catch him."

Narrator: "Said Edd. Schemer was laughing."

Schemer: "What a lark! What a lark!"

Narrator: "He chuckled to himself.

Suddenly he was going faster and faster. He realized that he had no driver."

Schemer: "What shall I do? I can't stop! Help! Help!"

Edd: "We're coming! We're coming!"

Narrator: "Called Edd.

Edd was panting up behind with every once of strength he had. At last he caught up with Schemer."

Edd's Driver: "Steady, Edd!"

Narrator: "Called his driver. The inspector stood in front of Edd, holding a noose of rope in the crook of the shunter's pole. He was trying to slip it over Schemer. The TV Characters swayed and lurched.

At last!"

Inspector: "Got him!"

Narrator: "He shouted. He pulled the noose tight. Gently braking, Edd's driver checked the kid's speed, and Schemer's fireman scrambled across and took control."

Edd: "So the old iron caught you after all."

Narrator: "Chuckled Edd."

Schemer: "I'm sorry."

Narrator: "Whispered Schemer."

Schemer: "Thank you for saving me. You were splendid, Edd."

Edd: "That's all right."

Narrator: "Replied Edd. The TV Characters arrived at the station side by side. Mayor Adam West was waiting."

Mayor Adam West: "A fine piece of work."

Narrator: "He said."

Mayor Adam West: "Schemer, you can rest and then take your load. I'm proud of you, Edd. You shall go to the hospital and have your worn parts healed."

Edd: "Oh, thank you, sir."

Narrator: "Said Edd."

Edd: "It'll be lovely not to clank."