The Crew Clux Clan

"This so-called Crew is quite stupid and lame."

- Chuck Norris

The Crew, also known as Randall's New Order, was the mafia established by Nick Randall to help fill the niche after Hitler's Nazi movement was defeated.

The Nazi party, which had lasted for almost 5,000 days, ended following a period of intense political turmoil and the devastation of World War II. After General Tojo was defeated at the Firebombing of Tokyo, and while the leaders of the Axis powers were being killed on Mustafar by Darth Vader. Randall Savage saw the hypocrisy of World War II, and planned a war in 'Nam that would allow him to recreate the Axis powers.

Origin
"Hewoo! My nwame is Wandall Savage!"

- Randall Savage introducing himself to "Old" Nick

The Crew was born in the turmoil of 'Nam, in part due to Randall Savages scheme. Deep in the jungles of 'Nam in the platoon know as G-unit, Randall Savage met Old Nick for the first time. Randall Savage explained his views to Old Nick, who though intrigued suggested a different way to handle things. Wheres Randall Savage envisioned a Nazi-esque government, Old Nick suggested a mafia based organization. Based around the idea of casa nostra. It should be noted that many notable crewmen such as, 50 Cent, Adam, and Robert, were part of the original G-unit.

Meanwhile, during the Tet offensive, Raptor robotics DYXJ10 unit Dildo16873 (Better known as Dildo Benedict), was leading the platoon known as Patriot. He began the makings of his own crew. In the many hare raising battles they fought through he forged close ties with Andrew Benner, A. Kash Patel, Scott and Kyle.

One oddity was in the case of Jamal, who was originally in the G-unit, but then got transferred to Patriot. Thereby being part of both factions that formed The Crew.

After the war in 'Nam, the G-Unit went there separate ways. Randall Savage returned to his home at 1776 Pennsylvania Avenue, Washington DC. Old Nick went to his palace known as the Space Needle. Robert returned to Roswell, New Mexico; while 50 Cent journeyed back to New York.

In contrast The Patriot unit mostly stuck together, staying in the Hagerstown area of Maryland. However, Dildo also stayed part time in Gotham City. What really set The Crew's formation was set in motion when Jamal, Dildo, and Old Nick met at Maugansville Elementary. None of them were participating in gym class, so they started hanging out.

In 1979 Old Nick introduced Dildo to Randall Savage, The Crew, if not officially had formed. On January 20, 1980, the Crew Accords were signed; making it official: There was a new Crew in town.

Early Years
The first years of the crew was marked by its Superfriends like organization. The Crew often responded to calls of people offering money to it. A TV adaptation of The Crew known as The A-Team was released at this time.

By far The Crew's most dastardly foe from this time was Teakettle. Dylax's most hated enemy, when The Crew was formed Teakettle added all it's roster to his enemy list.

Teakettle's most daring assult came in 1984, when he launched an invasion of New York City. The Crew dispatched 50 Cent to help organize the population into a viable fighting force. The Crew then lead the citizen army to victory... or so they thought.

Really the invasion had been all a ruse; while The Crew fought in the battle, Teakettle and a team of his elite guards (The Teacups) landed at Crew Headquarters where Randall Savage was coordinating the battle. Together they manged to overwhelm and kidnap him, tumbling the remaining Crew into chaos!

Teakettle took Randall Savage to his base in Aşgabat, Turkmenistan, confident he wouldn't be found. But little did he know, the two Crew Masters, Dylax and Old Nick, were speeding on there way to rescue Randall Savage. Fighting their way through his dastardly base full of Teacups, Teabags, and other assorted Tea affiliated items.

Eventually they made their way to Teakettle's quarters. Their they saw Randall Savage bound to a chair. From behind Teakettle showed up declaring: "I've been looking forward to this."

- Teakettle

Old Nick and Dylax attacked simultaneously using all their might to drive Teakettle back. Teakettle tried his best to fight back but he couldn't hold them off forever. He finally managed to knock Old Nick out with a scalding blast of Tea.

Dylax, blasted Teakettle with a missile, but Teakettle kept on coming. They two begin to fight viciously, kicks and punches were traded, headbutts and karate chops were thrown, and heat vision and Tea blasts were launched. At the end Teakettle knocked Dylax over, wasting no time he unleashed a massive squirt of scalding tea.

Dylax just barley managed to pull his lightsaber out his knee and swing at Teakettle. Teakettle jumped over the blade landing a solid kick at Dylax. Luckily, Dylax was expecting this and took no real damage, being able to shrug off an injury he might of received. Teakettle launched a flying kick at Dylax, but Dylax blasted him with a jet of heat vision. Unwittingly he also defeated Teakettle by blasting him out the window! Dylax freed Randall Savage, then went to revive Old Nick, curiosly Randall Savge made this remark: "Weave im"

- Randall Savage

Dylax ignored Randall Savage and revived Old Nick anyway.

Growing Pains
Randall Savage wasn't the same: ever since his kidnapping he had been acting much more hostile then normal. On one mission too Kenya he brutally crushed a man with a hydraulic press. Another occasion saw him eating three Chinese men on a mission to Asia.

After much debate, the other Crew members confronted him on his current behavior. Outraged Randall Savage assaulted the Crew members then when on a Rampage in Philadelphia, stealing many historical icons. One by one he took out Crew members that got in his way. Finally a last alliance of Crew members banded together and manged to through him into a big radioactive doe processor.

Shockingly, Randall Savage emerged from the radioactive doe tank and somehow split into two beings. One and kind and gentle being named Nick Randall, another savage monstrosity named Abomination Randall!

After a lengthy war the crew managed to defeat Abomination Randall.

The Golden Age
Under Nick Randall's rule the Crew flourished: new members joined, catch phrases invented, and interesting field trips occurred. Under Nick Randall's rule from 1989 to 2006 the Crew managed to defeat minor threats as well as major ones. However, they never received Teakettle ranked threats, simply no enemy was powerful enough to face The Crew.

The Crews major adversary during the Golden age was Chuck Norris. Dylax 16873 became great friends with "The Skeleton" and her accomplice "The Astronaut". They rode many rides together at 6 Flags for instance. There were many fights between Chuck Norris and the Crew, with Chuck winning every battle.

Then it came, Randall's relocation. Through forces outside his control he was forced to move to another district cutting him off from The Crew. He left Governing responsibilities to High Henchmen Doctor marshall Professor "Old" Nick Ritchick, and the Raptor Robotic monstrosity Dylax16873.

Civil War
Despite Randall's instructions of co-ruler ship with Dylax and Old Nick, The Crew was divided over who was the true Crew leader. While Dylax had some of the support, Old Nick still had followers of his own.

After a month of tension, all out war broke out between Dylax's faction and Old Nick. While Old Nick's army won a majority of the battles, Dylax's army won all of the major battles.

One of the most heinous aspects of the war was the brutal murder/coma (accounts vary) of Nick Randall. To ensure he couldn't possibly intervene in the future, Old Nick ambushed him in his sleep and apparently killed him.

The climatic end to the war occurred in October 2006 when Dylax's full army managed to surround Old Nicks. In the chaos of the battle Old Nick and Dylax actually had a brief hand to hand encountered. Old Nick apparently defeated Dylax, but Randall's force ghost possessed his robot shell and guided him to victory.

Deconstruction
After the Civil War, Old Nick's army was absorbed into Dylax's. There co rule was at a time of rapid Crew immigration as it moved headquarters from Western Heights Middle School, to North Hagerstown High School. Old Nick and Dylax realized that it would be for the best to temporarily disband the Crew.

Dylax developed a de-crewing dart that de-crews anyone it hits. Old Nick created a a dart gun. They each took a dart gun and decrewed everyone they met. Finally only Dylax and Old Nick remained Crew members. Then suddenly Old Nick drew out his wand and fired a de-crewing hex at Dylax. In Matrix-esq fashion Dylax dodged and fired a de-crewing laser at Old Nick. Old Nick fired another hex which collided in mid air with Dylax's laser. After witnessing the ghosts of past crewman there was a massive explosion de-crewing both of them. The Crew was dead, but like a phoenix it was rebuilt from the ashes better then before.

The Tranquil Times
Slowly but surly The Crew reformed. Though officially it was still dead, its roster knew it was still alive and well. Though old Nick and Dylax were co-leaders, it was much less centralized then it was before the Deconstruction. But little did they know across the Gulf of Scott's yard, Queen Scott the Third looked at the Crew with envious eyes and drew his plans against us.

The Scoticus Era
On May 25th, 2007, a "Money in the Bank" match was held. The winner got the chance to "cash in" and challenge Randall for Crew leadership. Scott won the match and later cashed in, expectantly defeated Randall. Later that night, the Crew celebrated by pretending to be zombies and throwing things at Kyle"the average man" Miller.

That night also marked a new beginning for Kyle and Scott, who were actually beaten by someone as fat and stupid as Chris Hunt. Chris Hunt, being a dick, immediately began wanking himself out, or "Ryan Pricing". Kyle and Scott are still afraid of Chris Hunt, despite that Scott is Queen of the Crew.

Crew politics in the Scott Era
The Crew is now under a more democratic rule, with Scott holding 1/2 the power, while Dylan and Nick each have 1/4.All crew decisions made by Scott may be vetoed by Nick and Dylan, and vice versa. Randall is also said to still have influence in Crew Congress. The Crew of today is very different then the one that was originally formed, but Nick Randall is still just a fat kid that farts a lot.

Dylan officially declared a "two circles"
The belief that Dylan is in fact a "two circles" is held by many if not all crew members.

Kyle Miller: "His lightsaber has two circles on it!" Chris Tuttle:"Oh yeah, he's definitely a two circles" Nick Randall:"Dildo is a woo ciwcle!" Chris Hunt:"What the hell is that? If it's something bad, then hell yeah he is!" Mr. Ritchick:"Communism! Anyway, the point is, Dylan is a two circles" Chuck Norris:"That two circles deserves to be roundhouse kicked"

Current
Ashleigh "The SKELETON!!!!" Gray

Mr. Nick/The Superman!

Chris Hunt

Scoticus

Mr. Smith

Nick Randall

Steve Kyle "Average Man" Miller

A. Kash Patel

Cody the Superhero

Bobby

2 Quarters

Chris T.

Andrew T.

Ron

Adam

Andrew B.

Scoticus/manarexic

Shay

Chance

Baby

Rachel

Benfer

Uchima

Ricardo, AKA RicardoMan!

Cassidy

Robert

Dylan's Cell Phone

Raw recruits
Nicks Dad

Tim

Dom

Dylax16873/Thaaaaaaaaa Baaaaaaaatmaaaaaaan

Former
Rodney