Episode 4: Cow mutilation

[Open to a cow Field outside of Sticksvill, Cow 1 and Cow 2 are sitting down eating grass, suddenly a beam of light appears over Cow 1]

Cow 1: [Moos] [Translation Text at bottom] Hey Trey look at that!

Cow 2: [Moos] [Translation Text at bottom] What?

Cow 1: [Moos] [Translation Text at bottom] The Light man!

[Cow 2 looks up in Shock]

Cow 2: [Moos] [Translation Text at bottom] Oh my god there Back!

Cow 1: [Moos] [Translation Text at bottom] Who?

Cow 2: [Moos] [Translation Text at bottom] The Guys who got nester!

Cow 1: [Moos] [Translation Text at bottom] OH N…..

[Suddenly Cow 1 is Zapped by the beam and is turned into a skeleton, the beam disappears]

Cow 2: [Moos] [Translation Text at bottom] Ted!

Cow 3: What?

Cow 2: [Moos] [Translation Text at bottom] They got Ted!

Cow 3: [Moos] [Translation Text at bottom] Who! The farmer?

Cow 2: [Moos] [Translation Text at bottom] no the Gary people!

Cow 3: [Moos] [Translation Text at bottom] Oh son of a [Censored]

[Cut to Town Hall, Gov. Adam West is standing at the microphone, Sarah, SkullHead, Taco, and Jason are in the audience. The reporters are at the front. Officer P. I. Gamming and Agent 1 also on stage]

Gov. Adam West: People of our City, I know you are all worried.

Man 1: Darn right, within a few weeks all the cows will be gone!

Gov. Adam West: Oh were here about the cow thing, I thought we were here about the Loss of Garbage Turks.

Agent 1: No sir that's next Week.

Gov. Adam West: Ok good that gives me an extra week to think of an excuse.

Reporter 1: What was that sir, Please say that again.

Gov. Adam West: Not now, so what's with the cow thing?

Woman 1: About half of the towns Cows have Been Mutilated!

Gov. Adam West: Mutilated?

Agent 1: Killed by aliens sir.

Gov. Adam West: Oh, come on people there's no Aliens in this town.

Man 2: What 'boot the Green worm Guy?

Gov. Adam West: Kid with bad Skin condition, in fact to proof to you all that no Aliens are running around our town, here is Officer P. I. Gamming

Officer P. I. Gamming: Thank you Mr. West. Now what makes you think that there are Aliens in this town?

Man 1: well how about the flying saucers, and all the Black helicopters from the government.

Officer P. I. Gamming: People, Thos flying saucers are U.F.O.'s Unidentified Floating Objects.

Jason: Flying Objects you Moron!

Officer P. I. Gamming: They could be anything, most of the time weather balloons. As for the Black Helicopters, well I haven seen or heard them, so they aren’t here.

[Suddenly Helicopters are heard flying past the building]

Man 2: What was 'hat?

Officer P. I. Gamming: Why that was a pigeon.

[Cut to Jason's Living Room, Jason, SkullHead, Ed, and Ash are watching TV, Reporter 1 is on TV]

Reporter 1: Well it appears that we will get no answer from Officer Gamming or Governor West at this time Tom.

[Goes to Reporter 2]

Reporter 2: Thanks Chad, coming up, When the Wind Blows, Will they do a Remake, or will they ban it, to prevent mass hysteria…

Mr. SkullHead: I can't believe West will just ignore something like this. Man, if I was Governor I would put a stop to it.

Ash: You saying you'll go up for Governor?

Mr. SkullHead: No man. I'm just saying he's a moron.

Jason: Hey Uncle Ash? Don't you have to go down to court or something?

Ash: Hey, your right. It's my first case today and I don't Want to be late.

[Ash walks out]

Ed: So what's His new job?

Jason: He's a lawyer.

Mr. SkullHead: Oh yeah… he's doomed man.

[Sarah Walks in]

Sarah: SkullHead you still in.

Mr. SkullHead: You bet ya sweet potato I am!

Jason: in what?

Sarah: noun of your business Jason, come on SkullHead.

[Sarah and Mr. SkullHead Exit]

Jason: What just happened Ed?

Ed: no clue, don't care.

[Cut to the courthouse Ash is sitting next to Ax Wife]

Ash: your honor if you send this women to jail you will be confecting an innocent women!

Judge: But she killed her Husband with an Ax to the head.

Ash: There is no proof!

Judge: We got eyewitnesses, we got it on Video Tape and DVD, Photos, DNA testing..

Ash: Blackmailed By the true Murderer, Forged, Fake, and is false…

Judge: She completely admitted to it!

Ash: Sir, we could point the finger at her, or we could do more testing.

Judge: we did all the testing, everything. In fact, we did them 12 times to be sure.

Ash: Well sir we do it again until you get tired of this and just let her go!

Judge: Fine, lets see what you'll think in a week. I sentence her to spend one week at your house! [Bangs hammer]

[Cut to open field, cows are greasing. Hidden in some near by bushes are Sarah and SkullHead]

Sarah: ok, I thought that by now we would have seen something.

Mr. SkullHead: don't worry, their bound to show, it's like the time I was on the deserted Island, you wait 6 to 8 weeks then you give up hope until…

[Cut to island, Mr. SkullHead(As grim Reaper) is sitting around a bunch of coconuts, he has a tea set]

Mr. SkullHead: so Mrs. Coconut, you would like some more tea, oh you too Mr. Nut.

Man 1: don't worry sir were here to help….

[Cut back to SkullHead and Sarah]

Mr. SkullHead: well lets just say things got out of hand.

Sarah: o…k….

[Cut to Cow 4. Cow 4 is grazing when suddenly a beam of light comes around him, suddenly he is shot by a beam of light and lets out a Moo of pain, and he is then turned into a skeleton. Sarah and SkullHead see it all]

Sarah: Oh my god….That poor cow.

Mr. SkullHead: Don't worry, they are in a better place now.

Sarah: Haven

Mr. SkullHead: Meat Haven, where all the animals that we use for meat products go.

[Suddenly the ray of light comes over them, they both disappear in it, cut over to the remains of Cow 4. Cow 2, Cow 3, and Cow 5 walk over to it]

Cow 2: [Moos] [Translation Text at bottom] No! First nester, then Ted, now Al!

Cow 3: [Moos] [Translation Text at bottom] Well this is a fine kettle of Houseflies.

Cow 5: [Moos] [Translation Text at bottom] Matt, Trey, you two have to know what we can do!

Cow 3: [Moos] [Translation Text at bottom] I'm sorry Sir, there is nothing.

Cow 2: [Moos] [Translation Text at bottom] No Brian there is something we can do!

Cow 5: [Moos] [Translation Text at bottom] There is? What is it Matt?

Cow 2: [Moos] [Translation Text at bottom] Call a plains meeting and you shall see. Come Matt, for we must fetch, the chosen one!

[Cut to Jason's house, Ash is talking to Jason]

Ash: good thing your parents are out at Los Vegas and you sent your sister to daycare for a week.

Jason: yeah, daycare….

[Knock on the door, Ash goes and opens it, The Ax Wife steps thought with one big bag in her left hand.]

Ash: Ah, Mrs. My Client, Come fallow me to the kitchen.

[Cut to the kitchen]

Ash: ok here is your dinner, I don't have time to do it my self, my nephew just left for school, so go ahead and fix it your self, and I'll be in the living room if you need me.

[Ash walks out, The Ax wife goes over to the counter with a carrot on it, she takes a big ax out of her bag and shops it and the counter in half, cut to the Alien ship, SkullHead, and Sarah wake up and Stand up]

Sarah: where are we?

Mr. SkullHead: no clue but they do play some cool music.

["In Time" Written by Bob Marlette & Sue Shifrin starts playing, Sarah and SkullHead go over to 3 Gray Aliens who are sitting on pedestals warring sunglasses, all 3 take off the sunglasses to see Sarah and SkullHead]

Gray Leader: It's you!

Sarah: Um, yeah, it's us….. [To SkullHead] Do they know us?

Mr. SkullHead: Apparently.

[The 3 aliens make the Vulcan "Live long and Prosper hand" jester, Sarah Dose the same, a small skeletal hand shows up inside SkullHead's ball. Suddenly thousands of small child like grays show up out of nowhere and all start making the Hand jester, the Gray leader makes a jester for SkullHead and Sarah to speak]

Sarah: I think he wants us to talk.

Mr. SkullHead: ok then [out load] live long and prosper!

[Aliens start talking quietly to one another in amassment]

Sarah: Party on dudes!

All the Aliens: oooooooohhh…

[The alien leaders rises his hand and a ray of light comes down over the spot that SkullHead and Sarah was standing before]

Mr. SkullHead: I think it's time we headed back.

[The two start to head back to the space]

Sarah: later.

All the Aliens: Later.

[Sarah and SkullHead step under the ray of light and disappear, cut to Jason's living room, Ash is sitting down, Jason, Ed, and Alex enter the room]

Ed: Hey ash where's crazy?

Ash: She's making food.

Alex: Making food.

Ash: Yup [Suddenly an Ax comes flying at his back, but he's rescued by the chair he's sitting in] She's making it in the kitchen.

[Ash suddenly realizes the Ax's in the chair and looks around to See the Ax wife carrying another Ax]

Ax Wife: Harold, oooooh Harold.

Ed: Harold?

Ash: Her dead husband.

[The Ax wife makes a screech and comes after Ash, Jason, Ed, and Alex. She Whacks Alex with the non-sharp side of the Ax]

Jason: Oh my god, they killed Alex!

Ed: You Monster!

[Alex Stands Up]

Alex: I am not even close to being dead yet!

[The 4 continue to run away from the Ax wife, Cut to cow meeting, several cows Are in one barn, Cow, 2, 3, and 5 are up on stage sitting at a table, Cow 2 has Irish's Braveheart  colors on his face]

Cow 6: [Moos] [Translation Text at bottom] This is bad, those Gary people are killing us off one by one!

Cow 7: [Moos] [Translation Text at bottom] Indeed, what do we do to save our young!

Cow 5: [Moos] [Translation Text at bottom] cows, Cows Please, We have A plan!

Cow 8: [Moos] [Translation Text at bottom] Is it a good plan!

Cow 5: [Moos] [Translation Text at bottom] Well I don't know lets ask Trey and Matt.

Cow 7: [Moos] [Translation Text at bottom] they are planning this!

Cow 2: [Moos] [Translation Text at bottom] Yes we are!

Cow 3: [Moos] [Translation Text at bottom] Our plan is for all of us to rise up, we know that the ship has landed in a field!

Cow 2: [Moos] [Translation Text at bottom] The time has come my brothers, the time to rise and show what we are made of, we shall stick our horns into them and declare our Freedom!

Cow 9: [Moos] [Translation Text at bottom] How can you be sure this will work! Cow 2: I can't. But I'm not willing to just sit here and wait for Death! Are you? [Other cows look depressed] so, who here is brave enough to take on this challenge!

[All the cows look at cow 2 worried, suddenly they all look serious]

Cow 5: [Moos] [Translation Text at bottom] I am Brave enough!

Cow 7: [Moos] [Translation Text at bottom] Same Here!

Cow 8: [Moos] [Translation Text at bottom] Well I don't know!

Cow 9: [Moos] [Translation Text at bottom] yeah were all-brave enough!

Cow 10: [Moos] [Translation Text at bottom] Yeah!

All the Cows: [Moos] [Translation Text at bottom] We are brave enough!

[Cut to open field, Sarah and SkullHead appear out of nowhere]

Sarah: Well that was odd…

Mr. SkullHead: I don't know, I have seen weirder.

Sarah: where?

Mr. SkullHead: why, right there.

[Both Sarah and Mr. SkullHead turn to see a large army of Aliens with guns and catapults, they all look ready to invade]

Sarah: Hold on a moment ago the aliens were peaceful, now their ready for war?

Mr. SkullHead: we could have met a different group of Aliens.

Sarah: well that’s a possibility.

[Suddenly Officer P. I. Gamming appears]

Officer P. I. Gamming: Why Mr. SkullHead, Ms. Crow. What are you doing here?

Mr. SkullHead: take a look for your self, officer.

[Officer P. I. Gamming sees the aliens]

Officer P. I. Gamming: good lord, we are being invaded by aliens!

Sarah: well, it's the end of the world as we know it.

[Mr. SkullHead looks at Sarah angrily]

Sarah: what?

[Farmer shows up]

Officer P. I. Gamming: Why hello there Mr. Farmer how you doing?

Farmer: Officer Gamming, All my cows are gone!

Sarah: what!

Mr. SkullHead: well where could they have all gone?

[Suddenly Hundreds of Cows appear and are standing on a hill above the Alien Army, Cow 2 stands out in front]

Cow 2: [Moos] [Translation Text at bottom] Aye, fight and you may die. Run, and you'll live... at least a while. And dying in your beds many years from now, would you be willing to trade all the days, from this day to that, for one chance, just one chance, to come back here and tell our enemies that they may take our lives, but they'll never take our FREEDOM!!!

All the Cows: [Moo angrily]

Cow 2: [Moos] [Translation Text at bottom] Charge!

[All the cows charge at the aliens, the aliens just see them as they ram into them, all heck Brakes loose, Cows Are disincarnating into skeletons, Aliens are flying everywhere, Aliens Ships and Machines on the ground are exploding]

Mr. SkullHead: Holy Crap! I never expected this to happen!

[Cut to Jason's house, "Don't stop me now" By queen starts playing, Jason, And Alex are hiding behind a couch]

Alex: What do we do now?

Jason: I don't know! I didn't write this episode! It was all Jareth Boyer's fault!

[Suddenly Ax Wife finds them]

Ax Wife: here's Mary!

Jason and Alex: [Scream like girls]

[The next couple of moments cut between the cows fighting the aliens, and Jason, Alex, Ed, and Ash running from the Ax wife. The every cut lasts about 20 seconds, It lasts until the song ends, When it ends the screen fades into black. It un-fades at Jason's house, Sarah and SkullHead walk in, they see the devastation and are shocked]

Sarah: what happened here?

[Suddenly Ash, Ed, Jason, and Alex Appear]

Jason: Hey guys.

Mr. SkullHead: what in the lords' name happened here man!

Ash: Oh this, Ah, it was some kind of party, can't seem to remember, come on gang lets go get ice cream.

[The guys are starting to walk out the door]

Sarah: What happed to your client?

Ash: [quickly] pushed her down the Garbage disposal.

Sarah: What!

Ash: nothing!

[Cut to the battlefield, Hundreds of Dead cows and aliens lie everywhere. Suddenly a beam of light Appears, the Gary Leader and two Grays appear out of the beam. They are suddenly surrounded by cows, just as the cows are about to speak the Gray leader Speaks]

Gary Leader: [Moos] [Translation Text at bottom] Greetings allied cows.

Cows: [Moos] [Translation Text at bottom] WHAT!

Gary Leader: [Moos] [Translation Text at bottom] Yes, we can speak your language, it is true, it is known as galactic basic, but that's not why we are here before you.

Cow 2: [Moos] [Translation Text at bottom] then why are you here?

Gray leader: [Moos] [Translation Text at bottom] You see, Years ago about 75% of our race separated from us, they left the peaceful ways to rage war. But thanks to you, peace has come to our home world. Thank you!

Cow 5: [Moos] [Translation Text at bottom] um, no problem….

Gray leader: [Moos] [Translation Text at bottom] As our thanks, we leave you with this device.

[One of the grays puts down a small device with a button on it]

Cow 10: [Moos] [Translation Text at bottom] What dose it do.

Gray leader: [Moos] [Translation Text at bottom] You'll see, it's quite amusing. Till the Next time we meet. Be excellent to each other.

Cow 2: [Moos] [Translation Text at bottom] well then, party on dudes.

[The grays disappear in a ray of light. Suddenly Officer P. I. Gamming appears]

Officer P. I. Gamming: ah ha, I finally caught you cows, now get on marching we need to take you the slighter house!

[The cows realizes what he said and Push the Button on the device, a small beam comes down and Hits Officer P. I. Gamming, He starts to sing "Bahamian Rap City" by queen, the cows start to dance to it]

[Roll credits]