Joining the Jihad

NOTE: This is not a real j***d. (Why is that word considered offensive language on here? That's the name of the group!) It is an Internet group founded in 1993 by people who hated Barney. Since I hate Barney, and the show's being revived soon, I'm reviving the group with help from Austin Seraphin (ASCII Express), the creator of the BBS door game classic BarneySplat. If you hate Barney, give that game a play! It's an epitome and staple of anti-Barney humor. And DON'T read this if you like Barney! If you like Barney, WHY ARE YOU HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE? I'm just a teenager having fun. None of what you are about to read is true.'''

Joining the Jihad, from original Jihad alumni St. Kressja the Undeceived:

The Jihad is only an organization secondarily! First and foremost, the Jihad is a Spiritual Holy War. Anyone who embraces the Three-Fold Truth, and sees what needs to be done has already joined the Jihad. Joining the Jihad is nothing other than facing the awful and terrifying truth about the Purple Pedophile, and his unholy mission of death.

Remember the Three-Fold Truth:

I. B'harne is the Demonic Incarnation of All Hell on Earth II. Barney's seeks to make the world his Purple Kingdom, and does so by Corrupting the Innocent and Weak into Sponge-Minions III. Barney must be destroyed. All else is irrelevant.

[Note on the text: this translation of the Three-Fold Truth is that of St. Kressja, working from the original transcription made by the High Prophet in the Ancient Tongue, when the Truth was revealed to him. If anyone wishes to quibble over translation, see part III, and reconsider.]

Under our auspices, anyone is free to found a local chapter of the Jihad - the war is waged on many fronts.

It is also traditional, but not required, to purchase an eggplant (fat, purple and bulbous) as a symbol of B*rney, and destroy it in a particularly gruesome fashion.

JIHAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-St. Kressja the Undeceived