Thomas/Meet the Feebles Trailer/Transcript

Trailer/Transcript:

 * Bertie: (singing) I'm a fishy, little fellow with a scaly short of skin, and I frolic in in the shallows when the tide is coming in.
 * Gordon: So, you want to join the Feebles?
 * Bertie: Oh, rather!
 * (Gordon devours Bertie)
 * Chorus: (singing) Meet the Feebles, Meet the Feebles...
 * Narrator: "Meet the Feebles"; the movie that began as family entertainment, but went horribly wrong.
 * Toby: Have you got a any smack?
 * Thomas: Smack?
 * (Diesel drives Gordon's limo right into one of the Horrid Lorries.)
 * (The slate cars get crushed by a rolling barrel.)
 * Narrator: The film the authorities tried to stop.
 * (Diesel is shown raping Rosie.)
 * Diesel: Oh, what beautiful, white fur you've got, my dear.
 * (Gordon throws up Bertie.)
 * Arry: Aaaugh, what the?!?
 * (Diesel eats the remains of the slate cars.)
 * (Scruffey pops out of a toilet, much to Percy's surprise.)
 * Narrator: The story that rocked the Island of Sodor.
 * (Gordon pushes James aside.)
 * Gordon: This is the family show for Christ's sake!
 * Narrator: Sex.
 * Emily: I'm hot, Gordon, but not the way you think.
 * Narrator: Drugs.
 * (Toby injects himself with a syringe.)
 * Narrator: Vehicle husbandry.
 * (Caroline comes in with a baby carriage, much to the surprise of Henry and Edward.)
 * Henry: Why did you bring it here? It's not mine! You know it's not!
 * Caroline: We'll let the court decide that, shall we?
 * Skarloey: (cries)
 * Emily: (singing) From the Garden, Garden of Love... (screams as she falls off the tracks.)
 * (Toby, Sir Handel, Rheneas, and Peter Sam are shown fighting in Vietnam.)
 * Narrator: Meet the Feebles turns the cabbage patch into the killing fields.
 * (Emily is shown exercising.)
 * Narrator: It's fun.
 * (Arry tries to hit the golf ball.)
 * Arry: (swinging his golf club) Take that, ya bastard!
 * (Thomas avoids the costume cart that's heading for him.)
 * Narrator: It's thrilling.
 * Diesel 10: (roar)
 * (Diesel drives the limo right into Bulstrode.)
 * Bulstrode: Oh, Christ, look out! Oh, no!
 * Cranky: (growls)
 * (Percy notices that he doesn't feel well.)
 * Narrator: It's contagious.
 * Duck: It's "the Big One," Percy.
 * Percy: No, it can't be! I've taken precautions!
 * (Bulgy gives Arry money for the drugs inside the golf bag.)
 * Narrator: Corruption.
 * (Gordon, Diesel, and Bulgy are making a drug deal with Bert.)
 * Gordon: Bulgy, do me a line.
 * Narrator: Lust.
 * (Emily tries to seduce Gordon.)
 * Emily: Feeling shy, are you Gordon?
 * (Thomas and Rosie fall in love, at first sight.)
 * Narrator: Light romance.
 * Narrator: From the director of "Bad Taste".
 * Percy: Yipee! (begins to vomits)
 * Audience: (shocked)
 * Gordon: (shocked)
 * James: (shocked)
 * (The Spiteful Breakvan gets crushed by Molly, who didn't see him.)
 * Diesel: Didn't you realize you were sitting on his face?
 * Molly: Well, he felt a bit uncomfortable, but I thought it was my hemorrhoids.
 * (A sick-looking Percy is praying to God.)
 * Percy: Please God, I know I've been a (coughs) bad engine... but if you make me well again, I promise... promise...
 * Narrator: Nothing is sacred.
 * (Toby is being tortured by the Troublesome Trucks in Vietnam.)
 * (Emily is going on a rampage with Gordon's shotgun, as Diesel hides in fear.)
 * Chorus: (singing) Meet the Feebles, meet the Feebles, We're not your average, ordinary people. Meet the Feebles, Meet the Feebles.
 * Narrator: "Meet the Feebles" is about to released... ...on you.
 * (A drugged-out Toby is being dragged out of the bathroom by James.)
 * Toby: Have you ever noticed the beautiful lady in this toilet? (passes out)